Did you all not read the whole text this is b******* in spam she wants attention if she’s even a real person
2 Likes
It sounds like the addiction aspect has not been taken care of along with the lust. I would leave. Its not worth everything you are going through. Im sorry this is happening but you will find your happy again!
8 Likes
She may act like she cares for you as a friend, but she’s using you to get access to your husband
1 Like
Why do you visit your friend together? Wht dont you switch it up and tell him that she is your friend and you want to spend tume with your friend by yourself. Do you go and visit his guy friends with him all if the time and cook them dinner and wait on them hand and foot? Nooo! Tell him to stay hime and your tired if seeing him make a fool of himself!!if he balks hard at this them you have your answer! If he didnt care about her then it woukd be easy for him to say ni problem. Go have fun!
PS I personally wouldn’t putbup with the crap he is dishing out though! I certainly would deny his intimate intentions until you are happy with his behavior! Just tell hum you’re not happy enough to want that!
I’d leave him and the state. Not let your family friend know either. Take the kids and get
3 Likes
If you have to be leery of this person. You are getting some kind of vibe here.
1 Like
Therapy. You also seem very insecure.
Go to counseling by yourself if he won’t join you. IMHO, the addiction issue is way more important than who he has a crush on.
1 Like
You know what is going on. Now handle it.
Your husband is emotionally cheating even if he hasn’t been physical with your so called friend. I would confront her also. Then give him an ultimatum to cut ties with this homewrecker. If you still love him he needs to show some love also but why love someone who clearly disrespect you? You deserve better life than a miserable husband.Your children will sense the unhappiness.
Is this a joke or just like a spam text weird
Just go have a good sexual encounter with your friend. You’d probably both enjoy each other.
Maybe go to couples counseling.
Why are you two spending SO much time with her, at her house, why is he going with you? She YOUR friend. He has definitely mentally, emotionally checked out of your marriage. He’s done being in love with you. Pack it in as a good marriage that has run it’s course and say good bye.
3 Likes
Your husband is a selfish asshole and has zero respect for you, if you’re that depressed and unhappy and confused with him, then my best advice would be to separate, find yourself and your happiness again without him, if after a time you can reconcile the marriage by all means do so, but honestly children or not, no one should treat anyone theyre supposed to love and married so badly.
Stop liking your friend tell him it’s me and out kids cause she sounds toxic tell him if he chooses her then you leave take the kids and file for child support and a divorce be strong for you and the kids screw them both God may be doing this for you to make a way out for you all
1 Like
You do not need advice. You need to love yourself.
1 Like
Thats why i dont trust anyone or anything anymore
Dump her FAST.
Give her the wide berth
He’s already left you
I think you should pack him up and drop his ass over there and leave!!!
Wake the Fu#@ up 
Typical man as they are all cheaters.
He is cheating leave his ass.
3 Likes
Gotta go listen to your gut
1 Like
You know what your gut is telling you is true. You need to set her straight about what is going on, then lay down the law to him. He needs to shape up, whatever it takes, counseling or whatever, or gtfo…he us using you for a doormat, don’t put up with it, or it will get worse.
And that GF of yours, after the “talk” cut her loose, she is nothing but trouble for allowing this overt crap.
I had a son in law like this, my daughter refused to see it, and in the end it almost ended her…she has come out of hell stronger than ever, and he is still a worthless, cheating deadbeat user sob pos.
Leave both of them. He is an oinker.
You should let him see this post. And the answers from us fellow women. Mind you- we all know it’s your side of the story so it’s painted your favorite color, but, it’s still a lot of shady stuff going on with him. Ask him what changes he feels like the marriage needs. Listen to him. Tell him nicely your needs. If he can’t have a calm, adult conversation that includes compromise followed by action, I don’t think you should stay. You love him, but you also are unhappy. I wish you the best of luck
Re read your post ! You’ve answered your own questions. Start saving money , he’s out the door already his body just hasn’t left
1 Like
I never heard what made him wor thy of you and your kids . He does drugs is disrespectful and that is being nice about it ? You need to make plan this man is not good for you and your worried about him with outer women ? You should send her your condolences if he got with her or any other woman . You teach people how to t at you but he has left the relationship he is only hanging on you will find for the fact he is a coward and is using you financially you deserve better get out while you can.!!! Get a good oawyer and move on you deserve love not how he treats you .
Nope nope nope, start the process of divorcing his ass. If he acting like this, there is no turning back. Do it behind his back. Don’t tell him anything. Don’t fight with him anymore. Don’t ask him for anything. Barely even talk to him. Start doing everything yourself. Start acting like he doesn’t even exist. If he starts to ask what’s going on push him away and ignore him. Oh and if he threatens to leave, let him.
I don’t know where you live, but get an attorney before you do anything! Four children, spousal support and child support……yeah, that information always makes a man think twice about his actions and behavior!
12 Likes
Have you tried confronting her about the situation??
3 Likes
Make a plan to leave.
3 Likes
He’s already being unfaithful you just haven’t caught him yet. You need to love yourself once he notices that you don’t need him to survive he will either change and be who he was in the beginning or he will fully leave but the choice is yours
You should tell her to stop asking ur husband to do shit for her tell her to find her own man to help her around you husband has a responsibility to you and your kids no one else and if counseling does not help is time to move on to have someone bitch at you for no reason or touch you makes you feel insecure and since u have depression it does not help move on
I’m with Irene, Lawyer up! Do not leave your house!!!
Look for that second phone
5 Likes
I always think that another woman shouldn’t never ask someone else’s boyfriend or husband to do anything out of respect. If she really needs something done and has no choice out of respect she should always ask his women. They have something going on.
Personally I would leave. If your husband is treating you that way. He may or may not have cheated but he doesn’t respect you at all. Just that is the reason to leave him. You will find someone who will love and support you and treat you much better. It’s time to go
Um you need to run far and fast he is or has already cheated most likely and the way he gaslight and treats you is a big red 
1 Like
There’s 2 things happening. He’s flirting with disaster and you’re insecure. Time for both of u to be on ur owns paths. I always try to be fair with these posts. But these posts only give us 1 side of story. We have no clue if there’s holes.
1 Like
you need to lawyer up and leave. there is no saving this marriage, and honestly i wouldn’t want to.
After about 10 yrs of my marriage things went bad. Only because my hubby hurt his back and couldn’t work. It put all the financial stuff on me. Once he got his back working it seemed to take forever for him to get a job. We were both stressed and annoyed with each other. It was to the point where I hated him and he pretty much hated me over it. It was a bad time in our marriage. We got over it and grew together as a couple because of it. Even in the worst of times he never once felt the need to disrespect him by thinking of straying off and I never did him. It’s a respect thing. We might have worked each other’s nerves but that was it. Now we have been married 14 yrs. and we couldn’t be happier. We make time for each other and go on dates without the kids and communicate. That’s the key. So if u can’t even communicate with him girl u need to move on.
Seems like it’s a yes. I’m so sorry you have to deal with this, but it seems like he’s trying to put on a front in front of your friend and his intensions aren’t to make you feel good. He seems like a jerk to be honest. Mad or not, he has told you he feels lonely even with you. He has disconnected from the marriage and seems to be wanting to move on without you being aware. I would talk to an attorney and leave. If you both aren’t willing to do counseling, then you both need to move on. And let her know what you think is going on, so you can also see where her intentions are as well. Not every friend ( even the childhood ones) are meant for you.
Leaving is not always the solution yet people are quick to use that. I don’t know your beliefs but God can restore your relationship. It sounds like both of you struggle with things that are causing both of you to feel lonely. Don’t jump to conclusions on your husband’s intentions and actions unless there is actually proof. You will push him away if he isn’t actually doing anything. Maybe helping your friend gives him joy and he isn’t cheating. We were created to help others.
Aww, honey…it’s time to go! He doesn’t sou d like he would do counseling so, yep its time to move on. And I think hubby has a schoolboy crush on your friend. You’ve been married 9 years and 4 kids, he needs to grow up and take part in this marriage. Jesus, he doesn’t appreciate you or respect you. LEAVE or kick his lousy ass to the curb! I’m sure he’s probably fantasizing about having sex with her.
Leave. He has already mentally and emotionally left you. I know it’s hard but it’s time to move on.
I dated someone last year for 3 months and he did the same things but with my 72yo roommate. They’re both in the wrong and I would confront each of them every opportunity you see this. I wouldn’t allow her into your personal space again nor him. After all that has been done the trust is gone. The best thing I’ve done was record their interactions to provide proof of said flirting and none sense. You have to place yourself in a position to never just remain quite safe hike being disrespected. Get up and leave them and walk out the house with the video on and the truth will be revealed. May God bless you. The honest truth is many men have kinks and this one of them. The forbidden fruit… rather it be young or old it just doesn’t feel right and should be talked about
Leave him and get your own phone
He is already half way out the door after your friend.
You guys need to stop spending time with her!
If he sneaks off with her he is cheating & 100% out the door.
If he doesn’t you guys need to talk about why he is behaving that way with a counselor.
Or ask yourself are you content with a man who lusts for another woman?
3 Likes
He’s not in love with her, it’s the new, she’s single, has no responsibilities whatsoever so he’s obviously missing his single life, THE CHASE…… get it? Men are hunters…… make him chase you, ignore him, stop asking him for affection, instead go out w the girls, dress up, change your hair, wear makeup, go to the gym or for a walk …… he thinks he’s got you and you won’t go anywhere, show him he doesn’t
8 Likes
I think it’s simple…time to leave. She isn’t a friend, she seems to like his attention and he seems to be all about her. You can try counseling but it doesn’t sound like he would go for it. I know it may hurt but maybe it’s time to move on.
2 Likes
I’m so sorry but you need to let go of your marriage unless he is willing to get some sort of counseling. It sounds over and he will cheat in an instant. If he is that miserable you will be much happier without him. God bless you and your children
1 Like
Your married and have children I think couple therapy is a good step,
He has his own issues which he can’t seem to verbalise to you.
Your friend may not be wise to what going on into your situation.
Give him a chance tell him how unhappy you are at present and that you feel your marriage is going through a hard time and you both need help with this.
If he doesn’t want to, then maybe ask for a break, and say you can’t be a second fiddle to anyone but you, I say that it could be anyone he is directing his positives too.
Good luck
Blessed be x
1 Like
Classic narcissist, you need to leave period! Trust me I’m not one to tell people just to leave but everything you are saying is in the narcissistic handbook darling. It will never change. He is abusing you emotionally and mentally. And he won’t stop until he has destroyed you unless you walk away. Walking away is not going to be easy though. He is going to pull all the tricks out but none of them are real. He does not have the capacity to really love he just doesn’t want to lose his supply. Good luck to you darling.
5 Likes
I have always said if they get defensive its because theyre guilty of something… so he sounds shady. But its your marriage. Id say therapist as a last resort
1 Like
But are you happy? If not than why fake🤷♀️
1 Like
If he loved you, he would be doing anything for your happiness. And that would genuinely matter to him. You and your kids don’t deserve that kind of disrespect. It’s obvious his eyes and heart are elsewhere because actions speak! Talk to him about how you feel. Like EXACTLY! If he doesn’t make changes or even puts in the effort to make you comfortable and happy, then I’d say it’s time to let go. It’s hard, especially with kids… but what’s affecting them more? This affects the children also. They see, they hear… they learn from example and we don’t want to make the kiddos feel any type of hurt because of all the negativity going on around them. Think about them and yourself. You guys should be showered with so much love 
and if he can’t provide that, then I promise you, someone else will !!! I hope things work out! It can be tough. Hang in there!
2 Likes
If you expressed how you feel and it goes to waist side best advice I can give is do you. Not meaning throw your marriage away but do some you love. Pick up a hobby, work out. Find something that feels the time where you focus on you. Your care. When we get In Relationships we tend to focus everything on another person. Which is normal. But worrying about him or her isn’t healthy for you. It’s going to make you more anxious and depressed. And as a woman you need friends but be selective of friends that is respectful. If you feel a vibe there’s nothing you are going to say or do to prevent someone from either cheating on you or walking out on you. That’s the truth. If it’s in someone’s head to do it they will. As individuals we tend to dissect our relationships and put so much Into them that if they end we are devastated. All that time and energy, what we should have done or shouldn’t done, said it not said. We need to be at peace with our selves so we are at peace in our homes. So trust me when I say this. Focus on you, healthy you. It’s ok to be individual in a relationship. We start relationships individual and merge as one. You already let him know you saw what was going on. The result didn’t go the way it should have, so focus on better you, focus on your kids, focus on anything else but that. The 180 usually brings things forward or back together but there’s no amount energy going to change the situation because he is you, you aren’t him, you are two separate beings, two separate minds. Couples therapy is nice and is good but I have the feeling he probably wouldn’t go. You can throw it out there but if he doesn’t want to do it I have the feeling you’re going to be let down. Which is ok, just don’t stay in that. Focus on you!
1 Like
Let him go… he’s already gone.
5 Likes
Fake a smile ! No sis,make divorce real. He is a disrespectful and sick person.If he is going to find someone let him go. Go to a counselor first and see if there is any relation to his addiction and other issues. From there you should know if you want to continue or move on .
Stop accepting nonsense
2 Likes
File for Divorce and focus on yourself and your kids. He’s displaying all the red flags of a narcissists. Please don’t let him drag you down to the very pits of he’ll as you will feel like you’re the crazy one and he’ll use it to his advantage. Your kids need you more than ever and they don’t need to be around this kind of behavior. I stayed in an abusive marriage with my kids for 22 years and it did more Damage to my kids than I could’ve known. You are better off being a single parent than putting yourself and your kids through this.
They way you are being treated is not okay, with or without another woman in the picture. I believe he’s no longer interested in you or the marriage and just doesn’t know how to walk away. He won’t do something simple for you but will go out of his way for her? Yeah something is going on between them and honestly doesn’t sound like she’s stopping it either. Maybe seek counseling for yourself cause I doubt he’ll go. Maybe start with a trail separation. Tell him to pack his stuff or you’ll do it for him and tell him to hit the road for 6 months to a year. If things don’t improve in that time then need to sit down with a lawyer and get that divorce ball rolling. Actually I’d go ahead and speak with a lawyer first then hit him with that separation paperwork. Maybe he’ll open his eyes, maybe not. But it does seem that you already know what to do. Starting over is scary especially with kids but it’s not only what’s best for you but best for the children because they are watching how their dad is treating their mom and how their mom is letting their dad treat her. I believe with all my heart if he truly loved you he wouldn’t be acting this way.
He doesn’t love nor respect u
2 Likes
Stop spending time with the girlfriend and start your exit strategy. Prepare your kids for the inevitable. He checked out of the marriage but doesn’t have the balls to tell you and be alone. Don’t worry about him, he’ll be happy to be free to pursue your friend.
Research NPD
Narcissistic Personality Disorder- he seems to fit the bill!!
3 Likes
Yeah. No. Fuck that dude.
3 Likes
Im so sorry but it seems to me he wants to b with her i dont wsnt to hurt ur feelings but if ur better off with out him u n ur children would b happy
2 Likes
He’s looking to cheat if he hasn’t done already. All the signs are there. Sorry but it’s the truth.
4 Likes
I absolutely love how most of you hear 1 side of a story and you are experts in their relationship. Some even diagnosing him mentally. I live with a bi-polar wife. We have many of these same “discussions”. Some are accurate reflections of what is going on after 35 years of marriage and some are her perceptions based on her mental illness. Sometimes she realizes it and sometimes not. There is always more to it than a short simple explanation from 1 side. Marriage counseling if you both are willing to actually participate and be honest is the best first step. But it won’t work if 1 or both of you think it’s all the other person’s fault and are not willing to take responsibility at all. The fact that he still goes home with you and has not left says something.
6 Likes
Next time y’all go to the person’s house and he makes you feel unloved or unwanted! You go home and leave him with her!! See how long it takes him to notice you have left the building! I have been married 46 yrs and for some reason men will do for others before their own wife. I call it a look at big strong me man! Because you already know his witnesses! Believe me life’s to short to play stupid games!! Good luck
2 Likes
The fact he threatened to go find someone and do it is disturbing me. That to me means he is already gone. You need to start giving yourself some self love girl because he isn’t giving you any! The other problem I have is why she always asking for help like get her shoes etc? That’s weird I would never ask my friends spouse to do something like that unless say they were on their way to that area oh hey could you grab this for me on your way back but it sounds like she is also doing the same otherwise why she getting mad at him and hollering at him that’s odd too. Something is up on both ends. I don’t message my friends spouses either, I may be friends with them through my friend but all I’d say on line is happy birthday Or anniversary or maybe like some pictures but constant messages is weird. You are definitely warranted in your feelings imo. Why are you always with her anyways? You said not a close friend but sounds like you spend a lot of time there. He dismisses your feelings, yells at you, calls you names, and stands up for her over you…sounds like you are correct.
My husband did everything you just said word for word with a work buddies wife and i felt the same way he ended up sleeping with her in out house on our couch while I was giving birth to our son in the hospital
I believe it’s the truth on how you feel!! Go with your gut instinct always!! She just needs to stay completely away from your family!! I would call his ass out for sure!! He’s rude to you, his wife but nice to another one, oh hell noo!! I would pay close attention n see what’s really up!!! When in doubt, check out!!!
Then why even go to her house or associate with her at all if you feel this is happening.
4 Likes
Trust your gut. Men will go out of their way to make you think you’re crazy, and in the end, you find out you were right all along. I would talk to your friend. It sounds like something inappropriate has taken place. You’ve known her long enough, you should know when she’s lying right?
6 Likes
A real husband would consider his wife’s feelings first. The fact that he doesn’t seem to care, blames you, and continues to do it, knowing it hurts you, tells you everything you need to know. If it were me, I wouldn’t stand for it. But that’s up to you to decide. He obviously doesn’t want to change his horrible behavior.
1 Like
You know exactly what to do.
Its not your friends fault either. If she was a true friend talk to her how your husband is acting and she will probably agree but just doesn’t know how to mention it. Its hard situation. You need to love yourself and kids. The Dick aint worth it if he has the big one. Theres plenty out there that knows how to work it.
You guys share a phone thats a big red flag in the relationship/marriage. Be happy girl.
2 Likes
He wants her…question is. Does she want him.? My ex flirted so bad with my bestie.both as bad as each other. For years I put up with it. Like a fool as he convinced me it was all in my head…I flipped one night seeing them so close dancing.I asked her to leave. Ended our 19 yr friendship. She really hurt me & he too…I ended my relationship with him not just cos of their behaviour but too save my self. He was a nassicist…that Night they were " dirty dancing " was Enough…I thought they’d get together when we split…surprisingly not. He wasn’t that into her after all just a bit of fun despite breaking g my heart…& He admitted he loved how it wound me up.control freak got off on it…Run…Run…xx
l would sit down and talk with HER> Concentrate on kids, and if there are things he c an do around hte house, explain to him you NEED his help, and if he respects you, then he will. He is married to YOU not HER.
Kick his ass to the curb.
1 Like
The fact that he lied about the p*** when you have proof he looked it up just proves he’s a liar and can’t be trusted. Who lies about watching p*** especially when there’s proof.
1 Like
Listen sweet heart this is de javu for me everything your saying I’ve been through there is something going on here and unfortunately it’s right in front please don’t.be blind save your heart and walk away nothing hurts more than betrayal 
you’ll be fine honey trust your gut take care
5 Likes
He is emotionally and mentally abusing you. For your sake and the sake of your children remove yourself from this situation. I know it is not easy and it is scary to be alone however it is better to be alone than be abused. - you deserve better and your children deserve to have happy mother and a life free from abuse.
1 Like
I’m petty… I would find a man to start behaving this same exact way with and see how he likes it…
4 Likes
Always go with your gut
2 Likes
Lady, give it up. He doesn’t want you! Get over it! Mmmmk?
1 Like
You have already loosen him.srry
Do what makes you happy , doesn’t matter what anyone says
3 Likes
Get counseling, a marriage is worth saving for children. If he does not want to work on fixing your marriage show him the door,
1 Like
Its the 7 year itch, only it took him 9 years. It happens a lot and most marriages survive it with counseling. Don’t give up on your marriage just yet. His interest in her doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you. I think he is embarrassing himself and you need to tell him this and insist on marriage counseling.
Throw him out. Period. You don’t need a schmuck as a hubby. He’s obviously infatuated with her. Best way to end the issue is to end the marriage. No other way works with a narcissistic male whose hormones are vying for new pussy. Let him get his supply via a divorce. Make sure you keep the house or apt. He needs to learn there’s consequences for being a jerk.
1 Like
It’s your friend, tell him not to go round to hers. In all honesty though trust your gut x
Talk with her about it first and see what she says then say well u can have him since u want to flirt with him then kick his ass to the curb
He’s definitely deep dicking her
If you gotta put on a fake smile about feelings you have, to your hubby… that is an issue. Bigger than anything. You do not put up with sh!tty behavior just so he won’t go cheat on you. That’s now how it works… And threatening you to do so, is a childish move, just means he has it in his mind. And yes, when a person is struggling with wanting to they do tend to treat their partner like absolute crap, cause then it’s easier to blame cheating on the victim. And, they feel better taking no blame. COWARDS. Speaking as someone who has been down this road, you’ll regret putting up with it. You can’t make someone stay with you, you can’t make them not cheat… but you can make sure you don’t deal with a cheater.
2 Likes
Well he certainly wants to bang her. A few things here:
- Seek marriage counseling.
- If he won’t go, you have the option to stay and be miserable or leave.
- How is your friend responding to this? If she is feeding into it, this is likely not a good friend that you want around any partner you may have.
1 Like
Ask him to go to counseling, if he says no, go by yourself. You need help to determine your next move. Tell him you will no longer go visit this person and tell him your suspicions, if he continues to see her, this will help you with your decision. I’m afraid your marriage may be over, but you need to decide when and if you tell him to leave.
Boot him out, he’s a waste of oxygen in your life ,he does not value you anymore ,ditch him…