I love seeing my kids and grandkids! We usually do Mother’s Day on Saturday and all the cousins anticipate the get togethers as much as I do!
I feel you are not wrong. There is no reason you are neglected on mothers day yet have to cater to his mom and your nieces and nephews. I also want to say, if your day is every day since your child is home with you then when is YOUR moms mothers day? All these years and what about your mom? YOU are the MOTHER of HIS child, he should dedicate the day to you and spend fri, sat, or mon, with his mom. The way I see it is shes had all these years for herself plus when he was little and yes she doesnt get to see her son as much but why take all the years your child is in the house and put you in the spot where the only mothers days you get to spend your day with your kids is when they’re bringing their own? Things change when you go from mom to grandma.
As an example, my mom came over on Thursday and stayed till Saturday for her mothers day acknowledgements and I spent Sunday with my own children and husband. His mother is EXTREMELY toxic so we actively try to not engage with her.
If I had to force my husband to celebrate Mother’s Day with me, I would consider him not worthy of me.
My mother lived 600 mi away so so I see her maybe two times a year. She is struggling with alzheimer’s so probably doesn’t know it’s mother’s day and will forget it the next day or sooner. My wife been a mom little over 18 years her mom passed almost 14 years ago so mother’s dsy is about my wife. My mom lives with my sister but my brothers one’s overseas and the other one lives 1500 miles away so they don’t see her very often. You are not wrong for wanting to celebrate Mother’s Day as a mother.
My husband always said “why would I get you anything you’re not my mom” then I informed him no but I was the mother of his children. Both our mom’s were living so both mom’s came to our house for a big meal. If my mother in law wanted everyone to go out to eat my mom was always invited and my M in L always paid. After that first year my husband always bought me cards, flowers and a gift from my children. I always bought both mom’s their gifts and cards. We all shared motherhood and we did it together as family.
Why can’t she travel to you ? But if her birthday is 2 weeks before — celebrate both together!
Truly sad he does not seem to celebrate his wife at all. He could at least do something really special for her on Saturday. He seems very insensitive. Wonderful he cares so much for his mother but he does not seem to care for his wife’s needs and celebrate her.
Remember as time goes by things change. New seasons in our life. Be thankful your husband loves his Mom or should. Just hang in there.
Maybe I’m opposite here but I want my husband with his mom for mothers day and never expected a gift. When the kids get older you as their mother will get gifts from them. But you only have 1 mom and that day is for her. My mother has passed and his is 67 years old and I would feel awful if I threw a fit and refused to spend time with his mom and make it her day then something happened to her. You have her child and you have your children. Like I said I’m just a old southern woman who believes parents come first.
You are not wrong 
You should have stood your ground a long time ago. My
husband and I have been married for almost 48 years. We took care of his mom the day before Mother’s Day at one time and my mom later in the day. We’d reverse it every year but after our daughter was born, Mother’s Day belonged to me and so did my hubby and daughter:rose:
Maybe he could do what most adult sons do… buy her flowers and take her to lunch and then come back and spend the rest of the day with the mother of his kids!
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Why do people make such a big deal out of holidays like Mother’s Day? I don’t understand.
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Your husband could celebrate the day before mothers
day with his mom. Mothers Day Sunday should be for honoring you as the mother of his child . Your child will learn by his example.
Oh my… I’m a mother in law myself and I could NEVER making that day just for me. That’s so darn selfish. It sounds like he is mommas boy.
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Here’s what I see…your husband knows his mom is alone…no children…she needed help planting the trees…would you prefer that at her age she tried to do this alone? Would that have made you happy…maybe she could have gotten hurt trying to do this by herself. He is repaying his mom for all those years she did for him, just as someday your children will do this for you…that is unless their partner is jealous and demanding of being number 1 all the time! Consider this, it should bring you great comfort, she is older and won’t be around much longer!
He should celebrate his mother but he should also help your child celebrate you
Really, your day will come. When your kids are older they will do the same thing for you. Our Moms are here for such a short time.
It’s mother’s day and it is for all us mother’s. Make the morning your mother’s day. Have them wait on you , make breakfast do dishes let you take that bubble bath you haven’t been able to take. Then either go with them or stay home and do something that you don’t have a chance to do!!
Maybe try to celebrate Mother’s Day for you a day early and then the family can still do grandmas Mother’s Day? We did that to accommodate grandma on both sides of the family because one lived 3 hrs away. Everyone still got to see grandkids and kids just on 2 different days. This was the first year in 13 years married that Mother’s Day was about me. I always just taught my kids to think of grandma on Mother’s Day and now my oldest is 6 and made a big deal about me! Was a fun day, we still made a fuss over the grandmas and she made cards for them and everything. Maybe this approach can be helpful for you
Im actually proud of you for standing up for yourself! You did nothing wrong and your husband should feel awful .
This was my first Mother’s Day without having to work and my s/o made plans for me and his sons were supposed to be picked up by their mother by 10 am for mother’s days….she didn’t show till after 3 and wasn’t updating anyone on anything while she knew we had plans (she has never done this) s/o got upset with me because I was upset n didn’t show up till 930pm n this isn’t first special occasion for me that’s been ruined it’s been every single one. On another note I agree make plans the week before or after so u also can have your own Mother’s Day
No you are not wrong. Your husband wants to honor his mom and that is nice but you need a day too. Next year plan on Saturday for you. Plan a day that you will remember fondly and do it with your child. Hubs can be involved if he wants but if he balks just ignore him and go alone with your child then on Sunday you can report to one or two people that you celebrated "“yesterday with your child.” Share a few snippets of the day but keep some secret too. You get what you want and your husband and his mother get what they want, some time together. You don’t have to compete. Make your own memories! In future try to be friendly and helpful when with your mother-in-law and find what you share. You may decide you like her when you are not in competition. My mother-in-law became a close friend and we cooked, shopped and even several times vacationed together. We shared holidays because my parents, in-laws and I all lived in the same city. Look for gold and you find it. Look for weeds and you find them!
Your husband is wrong yeah you see your kid everyday but she saw her kids everyday when he was 6 that’s just stupid he should go see her on Saturday and mothers day should be your day I still wouldn’t be speaking to him wake up jerk this is the mother of your child
Where will you celebrate Father’s Day? At mama’s house?! Just asking!
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You are being ugly. His mother will be gone one day then you don’t have to share him with anyone. Deny him and if God forbid something happens to her before he can see her, you are going to get the blame for it.
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The day should be yours and he should be spending it with you. Your a mom and have been for 5 years now. It’s time he shows you its your day. Last time I checked when you get married the wife becomes number 1 first and foremost.
Well, you are not HIS mom. Isn’t Mothers day for his mom the whole idea?
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Not at all, it was ur day as the mom of his children, like u said y’all saw her two weeks ago.
Tell him u r willing to split the moms day between yours and his mom.
But if he y’all go to her birthday, then moms day belongs to u. He could celebrate her birthday and moms day together, that way there would only be one trip. And he could concentrate on u… just a thought 
Its a hallmark day. Pick another day and have it recognized as your special day.
I totally get why you’d want at least once to be celebrated as a mom but let’s look at this situation from your husband’s point of view as well. First, he is wrong for not celebrating you, the mother of his children and you should tell him in an open conversation how you feel. Please keep in mind though that he only gets his one mom who lives a few hours away. He is with you daily so he may not see that it’s a big deal but he needs to know how you are feeling. Also, make sure he knows it’s not just Mother’s Day. I don’t know the relationship y’all have but he loved you enough to ask you to be his bride so I’m sure he loves you enough to process that he is hurting you by not celebrating with you in a way you’d both enjoy the holidays. Remember, he is a man and they process things differently than women. They process things with logical and linear thoughts while we as women process our thoughts through our emotions. This is also where women’s intuition comes into play and it’s usually right, we feel when something is not right. I say this because you feel hurt he thinks your over reacting because he isn’t feeling his thought so much as thinking it’s not that bad. One other thing, how is your relationship with your mom-in-law? If it’s good, great she can be an ally in this situation just by you asking if you can cook for her and she may not realize how you are feeling because y’all spend all holidays catering to her. If the relationship is not so good your only choice is to help your husband see that this is something that hurts you. I pray God work through this with the three of you and that He would draw each of you closer to Him and closer together. 
If you’re a mother for the first time or for 99 years, you should be celebrated. We don’t know if tomorrow will be here or what life has in store for us.
Honey you never know how much longer his Mom or yours will be around. Why not have Mother’s Day another Day. You will have no regrets if you comprise. He will love you for it and make YOUR MOTHER’S DAY even more special. Big the bigger person you will be rewarded. God is watching too.
You are not wrong. Your husband is inconsiderate of your feelings. Yes, he should celebrate with his mother but he can do it the week before, the day before, etc. You deserve to be celebrated too and don’t let anyone tell you different. If It doesn’t change, go out and do something extravagant for yourself and embrace your alone time from these selfish people. Your time on this earth isn’t guaranteed so enjoy
You sound a little whinny and childish! Do you have a Mom? Would he or you do the same for her? Your day will come!
My opinion but I would make sure the weekend before or after is your day. Mothers Day stinks anyway everything think is overpriced or hectic Plus MIL may not be around long and it gives hubby time with her and gives you a lot less stressful weekend to enjoy
It’s super important to me that I spend time with my mom on Mother’s Day and I am 44. I also want my kids to spend time with me. My husband would be free to spend time with his mom. I don’t need him to focus on me on Mother’s Day.
You are definitely not wrong, and you deserve a Day for you. We get together with all the ladies in our family, Moms, Grandmas, Great-Grandmas, Daughters, etc. and celebrate together. Everyone gets cards and gifts, phone calls and flowers. Everyone is honored and we switch where it’s held. No reason you couldn’t be celebrated right along with your MIL. If you’d like to stay home some year, just plan ahead and give your MIL a phone call or FaceTime.
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I always had to go over my mother in law on Mother’s Day. Not the way I wanted to spend it.
It’s just a day. I’ve been married almost 40 yrs and my husband has never said Happy Mothers day, let alone taken me out. When our mothers were alive, we spent every mothers day with them. 365 days a year, I have the greatest husband in the world, we still laugh together everyday, we talk to each other all day and he treats me like a queen, but he is just oblivious to holidays. Your gonna be alive and part of your husbands life long after his mother’s dead and gone. He obviously loves her, dont make him choose between you, because no matter who he chooses, you will be the one who loses in the end.
I think your not wrong. He should have considered you for part of the day . What he did was messed up.
It’s been 6yrs, time to balance the day out.
There’s nothing wrong with sharing the day with other mothers impo.
Sharing the day together or splitting it up might be an idea.
I’ve never understood these days tbh but I’ve never had a real mother around after the age of 3.
I’d have loved to have shared the day with my mil and family but a 15hr drive each way wasn’t on the cards 
unfortunately she passed away this year so it will never eventuate. I’m not my husbands mother either, a nice breakfast and visit from my son is all I need.
I had to do the same thing only it was for Sunday dinner. It was my ex husbands only day off and it was spent every Sunday at her house. So one Sunday I told him our daughter and I weren’t going and I explained why. He ask me to go that day and he would end the every Sunday thing. I agreed and true to his word he ended it.
Shantel Sansone I hope this never happens with us. We both deserve to have what we want for Mother’s Day and if we communicate we can. Just talk to me cause I never want Mikie to have to choose between us.
There is a way to do both. There is no reason the Men in the family cannt honor all of the Mothers at once . You could go to your MILs and relax and the men could make dinner and take care of the kids. I also undersand where you are coming from . My ex- husband continual said "why should I do anything for you on Mother;s day You are not my Mother. Even after we had kids-- even when they were small He had the same attitude,’ My question is who teaches the children toh onor their Mother on Mother’s Day - if not their Fathers. Again there is a way to honor all of the MOther’ and dispite some of the other comments it is your husbands job to find the balance. And it is your job to be straight forward on what you would like for Mother’s day.
The day before Mother’s Day the son could travel and spend with his mother and then be there and celebrate his own wife on Mother’s Day. Once your son is married you are no longer the number 1 woman in his life and if the MIL can’t understand that then she’s the selfish one. The mother in the post has every right to want to spend the day with her child and be celebrated and respected. Everyone defending the MIL directly below me sound selfish. She deserves those memories with her child just like the MIL had. The one thing my evil ex MIL and I agreed upon is mother’s days. As long as my ex husband called her and she got a gift the week of Mother’s Day she was good.
Why can’t Mother’s day be shared between the mothers in your family and make it a special day for all mothers.
Why can’t Mother’s Day be celebrated by all? Two wrongs don’t make a right. To leave anyone out is selfish. How does he expect Father’s Day to be celebrated; he’s not your father. You and his mother should be celebrated together, you are both Mothers. No mention of your Mother, so I assume she’s in Heaven celebrating.
He paid for you to pick up your pizza for dinner? Such a gentleman. I take it he controls the money, also?
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Something seems off in this situation. The normal and logical thing to do is what I’d think most people would do: just celebrate the day. You know…together. Obviously you and your MIL are not close and don’t have a loving relationship for this to be this kind of issue, and it seems you describe her as sort of a B if she is wanting to only celebrate the day as being for her. Seems your husband would see that as unacceptable behavior. I would imagine that there are other issues between you two if this is acceptable behavior from his mother.
I assume this simple approach in celebrating the day as a family was rejected, because it makes no sense that it isn’t being done.
Who cares where you meet. Family tradition tends to be to go TO the household of the older members of a family, even when they aren’t elderly. That is just the way it’s respectfully done, historically.
If your MIL is NOT a B and she is NOT battling with you over this and doesn’t even know you are put out by these things…someone in the mix needs to mature a bit. I’m putting it nicely. I can’t imagine a loving, secure, mother begrudging the older mother and even making this kind of noise about it. I certainly wouldn’t want to have anything done for me that I had to get by pulling teeth. It’s kind of up there with lovesick folks who pester someone to stay in a relationship with them. Why and how could someone WANT to be with someone who doesn’t want them?
I could be wrong, but isn’t this one of those concocted greeting card days like so many of them are?
Maybe next year invite all to breakfast with his mom then all go home and spend rest of day with hubby and children
You sound like a person I would not want around just Lear n to share you have the rest of your life which I fear might be without your present husband if you keep this up poor man
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Next time just schedule your special day the following weekend or the weekend before. A celebration can be anytime you want it to be. Everyone celebrates the older moms on the traditional day because that’s the day that all the siblings can get together. But for a celebration for you and your children could always be planned for any day. I’ve done this many times. My children growing up always thought our Easter bunny came on Saturday. I did that so the children to have the whole day for fun Easter events and their baskets. And then their was Easter Sunday that was dedicated to our religious beliefs. It was always a a full fun weekend. Just try to do your mothers’ day events on two different days. It is whenever you say it is.
Maybe have Mother’s Day breakfast at your house then go to lunch at her house and then go out for dinner together to share the day! Fixes it for everyone! 
You aren’t wrong by any means but I know from experience you’ll never win. I think your husband and his mother are being selfish (she is) and he’s just a POS husband that his controlling MAMA didn’t raise right. THERE I SAID IT! My mother-in-law has passed by a few years but she finally GOT IT once I put my foot down. I did everything under the sun to please her but my husband was an only child. Unfortunately you’ll have to learn how to deal with her yourself. Believe me it won’t be easy. Good luck honey. I’m praying for you.
Both of our Moms are in Heaven. But, my husband always made me a Mothers Day celebration. Then, we would see our two Moms. You are just as important. No, you are not his Mother, but you are the Mother of his children. Therefore, you deserve recognition. Belated Happy Mother’s Day to you Mom!!!
I am a mum and l always spend mothers day with the family and my mother in law
Maybe alternate? Or celebrate another day! We gathered on Saturday for a family picnic 
! (Take out from a nearby restaurant !?!?!) What matters to me is a time for family gathering!
I told my boys when they got married there wives need to come first no questions about it
My first child was 4 before I actually got a mothers day. That was from my mom. My husband now always remembers. This year I got a beautiful birth stone necklace with all 3 girls stone’s. That’s including my step daughters stone that her mother made sure he knew the right stone to get.
Not wrong at all. My daughter and her husband/family spent Mother’s Day with me but, his mother lives in a different state; I cooked; we enjoyed each other’s company and they did one piece of work for me that I couldn’t do because I am disabled. However, when they told me they were coming to my house (15 mins away), I did ask my daughter why she was not celebrating with only her family since she is a mother as well. She said everyone didn’t want me to be alone!
He should had least acknowledge you some ! He could had Took you out Saturday .You deserve a Mother’s Day also!! Sounds like he’s a Mommas boy
Doesn’t matter what you do. You’ll be in the wrong in somebody’s eyes. Do what you want to do
I personally think Mothers Day is all about your mother for as long as you have her.
As a daughter in law you should understand that your husband loves his mother and making him choose is not a very mature thing to do. Plus you could have very well celebrated the day before and everyone could have enjoyed each other and had a
Wonderful memory as she may not be around next year.
I had a mom snd two mother in laws to keep happy so that’s what I did until they were no longer here to celebrate with.
I hope you have a change of heart and mend fences while you can.
Again, just my opinion.
Totally get it. I think if you could compromise and work it out together is best.
I would have sent him to his mother and kept my child with me case I’m their mother! You were nicer about it than I would have been.
why didnt you go see your own MOM if you were staying home?or make plans of your own? If you didnt want to go, that is your preogative, but no one forced you to stay home alone.
I use to have the same problem, so I stared the mothers day picnic, we pick a park central for everyone, every one brings their own food, whether you make it or pick it up, no one has to clean their house, you can invite any one and every one and you get to enjoy the out doors and your family just being together, the kids can play nd you get to sit back and relax
Hell no! It sounds like your husband has mother issues; meaning, that he can’t stand his ground with her. Your feelings matter too. It doesn’t always have to be her way.
You are not wrong! It’s all about compromise for everyone involved!
You should have planned a day with your own friends and family. Or, pick up a good bottle of wine and an expensive meal, sit in front of the TV, and just relax.
Your husband should always put you first ahead of anyone, including his mother. I put up with that kind of crap for many years and that was my mistake. It does set a pattern for the marriage that should not be acceptable to you. If he doesn’t care if this hurts you, what else will he not care about if it hurts you?
Every day should be mothers day . 365 days a year . Mothers Being appreciated . Dont focus on just one day
If my kids couldn’t make it or didn’t want to come they called. It’s not the card, the dinner, or flowers it’s the call just to hear Hi Mom happy Mothers day that counts just as much as a visit. They do have lives also!
Oh my gosh! I don’t even know where to begin. A man is supposed to leave his Mother and Father and cleave to his wife. His covenant is with you, not his Mother.
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When your children are grown then you will have your own mother’s day
To me Mother’s Day is to celebrate my mom, his mom and me so doing big gatherings is what it’s about.
Omg first no your not wrong can’t understand why your mom mother in law or husband didn’t give you a beautiful first mothers day. Then after that until your child is old enough to make nice little items for you he should get you something my husband gave me photos of me and my children or his go to has always been rose’s.
But I enjoy sharing mother’s day with my Mom and my mother in law and I think most yrs we had it at our home or my parents home just because our in law’s home was smaller but we did thing like going out to dinner planting trees rose bushes and one yr went to
NC all of us. now both mother’s are gone I would give anything to have had more mother’s day.
I think the problem is your husband but after,6yr and his smart ass remake about buying you pizza Bellevue me I’d be going shopping for something really expensive and get rapped up and put your child name on it and at dinner open it up with your child on your knees and surprised thank your beautiful child for your mother’s day gift… Good luck in your marriage
Yes you did wrong. What is wrong sharing mother’s day. It is likely you will out live her and your husband is establishing a perfect example for your children how to treat you in your latter years. You sound like a selfish person.
My husband always did Mother’s day with me and our kids
Your husband‘s an ass from your post saying they just got home it sounds like you allowed him to take your daughter leaving you alone Mother’s Day so his mother to see your daughter on Mother’s Day men who are that stuck doing what their mother wants are a problem for the rest of your mother-in-law‘s life and afterwords put your foot down Mother’s Day is for you to spend with your children and if he wants to be with you fine otherwise he can go by his mother
From a “mother of grown children”:
I may not be on this earth much longer and I would love to see my children on Mother’s Day. Sometimes events prevent this. I remember EVERYONE going to my mothers, that’s children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren. Then the younger ones stopped coming when they had children. “Because they were Mother’s now!” So, I set with my mother as she cried, then she died 3 days after the next Mother’s day in 2017. Sorrow, grief, loneliness, longing. I don’t know. BUT, I’M GLAD I WAS ALWAYS THERE, if it was at all possible.
My kids can’t always make it, this year my one son took me out to eat Saturday before so his wife could go see her daughter. My other son lives far away, but always calls me.
So, if you can, celebrate with your spouses mother, and the other family members. Your children will benefit from these get togethers. It teaches them love… Families are already declining, let’s do our part to preserve family love for our children.
I am wondering where is your mom in this picture and you should be able to have a mother’s day with your family
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Have her celebration the day before. Then, have yours on Mother’s day. That way, she isn’t left out. Or, you host and she comes to you. After I had my first child, preemie and spent 19 days in the NICU, which included Christmas Eve and day, I never broke my neck getting anywhere. It was always on my terms. We have always spent the major holidays here at home, and either family comes to us or we celebrate a few days early. It’s never been an issue for my family.
See his mom the day before if possible. Then you spend you day with your kids doing something you want to do. You should come first.
Nope tell your hubby to get off his mom’s t*tty, and be a man! When you get married and have children his wife and children are now first. You deserve to have a say.
Your husbands Mother won’t live forever then it will be your turn and you will have a clear conscience when that day comes it’s not worth fighting over . When Father;s day comes go see your father
I am sorry-I would give anything to spend the day with my children’s grandmothers
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If you guys were to go to his Mothers & him include you in the celebration, not just have you babysit everyone’s kids than I could see why he would be disappointed you didn’t go. But it’s also your Mother’s Day so you should also be shown some appreciation. My daughter (she’s 13) gives me her gifts & cards & then we go to my Moms and have a cookout or go hiking, just something so we’re together & my Mom gifts me. It feels like we’re both being celebrated that way, so your Mother in law could include you. I don’t bother with my husband anymore, 20 years & he can’t be bothered to even send a text, to me or his Mom. My Mother in law & I exchange Happy Mothers Day on Facebook & we’re satisfied with that from each other, but my daughter & I do invite her by for Easter, Thanksgiving & Christmas dinner even if my husband isn’t here. I would guess (I could be wrong), that you don’t have the best relationship with your Mother in law or she would understand why you would also like to feel special on Mother’s Day. Best of luck.
You deserve a day for you! I would have done what you did 
my hubby picks his mom over me usually…
Your husband needs a reminder that God’s Word says a man shall LEAVE his mother, father and cling to his wife and they become one…so his responsibility is first to his wife, cutting the “apron strings”. An hour or so for Mom, then the day should be focused on wife. That is the vow he took, promised before God.
I would suggest you plan to have mother’s day celebration at your house and the mothers all come celebrate with you.
When my mom was still alive my sister and her kids and husband. My husband and kids, grandmother. Aunts would all get together for a cook out. The men would watch the kids and cook and us moms would just relax chat and the men would do all the clean up as well. It was great. Honored all the moms.
Good for you sticking up for yourself might have been tuff but you did right
Leave him to his Mommy (you take a vacation, with just yourself) have him or his mommy watch your kids (you deserve to be celebrated too, not just his Mom)!
Nope I would of done that a long time ago an do what u wanted. Good for u that u did something for urself.
I have a 36 year old daughter. I’m raising her daughter. Never have I had a mother’s day.
I’m curious about her own mother?
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We do one celebration on Saturday night…one on Sunday…no problems.
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My mom is 91. Damn right it is about her. If not for her I wouldn’t be here. Nor would my sons or my grandkids. Grow the F up. Teach your son how to be a good son so you don’t spend your elder years alone. His dad is teaching him that. Let him.
You are not wrong.
I have never in my life felt the value of mothers day