Girl I feel you. Honestly, it sounds like your husband doesn’t care about how you feel, which is okay but this upcoming fathers day make sure you make it about your dad and take that time away from him. Let him know how it feels. And keep your children with you next time, because they should be celebrating mothers day with their mom. Not dad.
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You’re not wrong. If you don’t stand up for yourself and the respect you deserve no one else will (obviously). I hate the burden of guilt that gets laid at our feet by the those around us. I have lived this scenario many times. Many scenarios of guilt being tossed around. No more.
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You’re not wrong at all. And next year, my child(ren) and I would go out and celebrate ourselves. Hubs would be invited but 
mothers day is about all the mothers in your life, not just your own.
Your husband has got it SO wrong! Looks like he won’t budge on Mother’s Day with his mum.
You should ask your kids what they want to do for Mother’s Day. If they want to spend it with you then go ahead, make plans n do it. Your husband can go to his mother if he wants
If Mother’s Day is that important to him/her…maybe they can designate a special “moms day” for you (or her!) Maybe the next weekend or heck…whenever you make the date! It’s always so hard to split time between all the momma’s but we have found when we split the days and make a special day for me (other than Mother’s Day) that we get to do all the family thing that I want and it seems to work out!
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I have felt the exact same way before. I just keep telling myself that one day I will miss her and suck how I’m feeling up. (Not my MIL) … it may not be healthy for me to do that… but it’s better than a fight. I spend so much time making sure my mom and MIL have nice handmade gifts and the kids are effort-Ed out, so I don’t even get a card. Kinda sad. But… what else do ya do? A quiet day does seem nice though. 
anyways writing to say you’re not alone in your feelings for sure
Valid feelings. If he feels that his mother is as important and valid to him as you are then I can somewhat see his side (as in needing to see her on Mother’s Day) What it should be though is that day needs to be split. Half your day, half hers.
Yes you did it wrong, you let him take the child with (unless that’s what you wanted to happen) other than that no freaking way. Spend the next 6 fathers days with your dad make it all about your dad, exclude husband and feelings and then act like he’s out of line when he wants a day for himself, if that seems like a harsh and unreasonable thing for you to do to him than no your not out of line for feeling like it’s to much to expect from you.
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I think it’s nice that you stood up for yourself. Every Mother’s Day should also be about the mother of his children. Not just his mom.
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Send husband to see his mother on Mothers Day and have your child stay with his/her mother (you) for Mothers Day. Perfect solution. And if husband/MIL complain you can tell them it’s Mothers Day not Grandmothers Day.
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This was my first Mother’s Day in 6 yrs (since I had my daughter) that my husband was home, and he planned things for me…it took 6 years of just my daughter and I which I love but I never get gifts or anything for my birthday, Valentine’s Day, Mother’s Day and anniversary. It’s he’s sweet and amazing all year so we kind of agreed we didn’t need to do anything those days. But after 6 years it finally got the best of me. So no your not wrong for wanting a day to yourself. Out of 365 days you deserve one day without feeling guilted.
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Umm next year I would take me and my child somewhere on Mother’s Day and spend it with them and tell him to go spend mothers day with his mom 
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Your feelings are definitely valid. I don’t see why you don’t get to feel appreciated and celebrated on this day! There’s so many ways to make this work for everyone whether together or separately. Your spouse has got to step it up. You’ve got wants and needs and sometimes boundaries are needed. Being a mom is hard, your partner and family shouldn’t make it harder especially on days celebrating being a mom.
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I share Mother’s Day with my husbands birthday every year so not a big deal for a special day I’m a mom and you know moms are special and sacrifice everyday to our families so your special gift to your mother in law was to give her son his undivided attention to his mom!
Plan your day with the kids next mothers day and don’t feel guilty about it. Dont let him steal your moment, if he needs to do what his mum says then let him be, that’s his mum. Your feelings are valid and I would’ve done the same if that was my situation. But hey that 6hrs alone time sounds like heaven to me lol.
I normally have Mothers Day mornings, his mum in the day, and my mum at night. This is the same for fathers day, Xmas and all other shared special dates. Sometimes it gets exhausting but this works for us
First of all, your husband’s f’d up for treating you that way! No man should ever put his mother above his partner. Period.
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For starters, be thankful you are a Mother. Some women are unable to have babies. Point 2, help your husband honor his mother. Some children don’t do that. Show your Mother in Law some respect and affection. She raised your husband. Tell her Thank you, she did a good job. Stop being so self centered. Be thankful for what you have.
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I would have enjoyed a day of peace and quiet. Maybe a long soak with a good book. And suggested that we do our celebration in the morning before they leave, so I can actually relax all day
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You’re not wrong at all.
No I agree and if she was a decent person you could both decide on something instead her being self centered…your husband needs to speak up and remind her your a mom also
I would feel the same way. I just wouldn’t go. Or maybe y’all can do 2 mothers days.
Not at all. Glad you stood up for yourself. You deserve it.
We need to start utilizing GRANDPARENTS day
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Momma boy to the max…
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Your not wrong💚 hope you enjoyed your day!! Quiet time is priceless! I hope he comes around.
Nope you did the right thing. I would have too.
You’re definitely not in the wrong. Your husband pisses me off.
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By his logic, you should have kept your kid home with you if you wanted to spend time with them. After all, there’s a grandparent’s day. 
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Mothers day morning spent with mum, then call in and see grandmothers on both sides for a few hours each after that. Then home for dinner. Fair all round. If he doesn’t like it, too bad. Do what is right for you.
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No ma’am not wrong doing on your part demand your respect & your motherhood but it should be some more understanding I did Mother’s Day for me on Mother’s Day then we took his granny out on Monday because his mother is deceased & that’s who raised him it’s called compromising
You’re Not wrong ! Your hubby is … but my kid wouldn’t have gone either … he needs to be CHECKED … unbelievable!
Yeah I wouldn’t put up with this. The mother has ingrained it so much within them I doubt it will change. May need to skedaddle if you are looking for someone to treat you how you would like to be treated. Unfortunately you can’t raise men, they already are. That was his moms job and obviously she’s selfish so, that didn’t go well.
My husband says your husband is a douche…
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Did I read this correct? You wanted a Mother’s Day to yourself yet he still took your child and he still left to his mother? Wowee 
id blow him and his feelings off for Father’s Day. Maybe leave him at home and you and your child go do something without him… on Father’s Day. What a dick
Hubby needs to wake up and see the light
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Your husband is a dick 
He is still on the tit
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You need a new husband. Yours is broken 
. What a douche canoe
I would tell him if he wants to be with his mum that much and can’t give the woman who birthed his own children 1 nice day then he can take his stuff and go live with mummy ! ( I know it’s brutal but you deserve so much more x
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You’re not wrong. Your husband needs to grow up “his mom does not see her children everyday”
. They are not children, they are adults with families of their own. I don’t share my Mother’s Day unless I want to. It’s my day too. Sorry not sorry.
I don’t think you’re wrong to be upset. I also don’t think he’s wrong to want to see her and do something special. However, I do think he and his mother are wrong to just disregard the importance of the day for you. I think a compromise is needed. Maybe you do your Mother’s Day on Saturday and hers on Sunday. Or alternate, but maybe not if there’s other people like his siblings involved. Either way he should care enough to help figure it out.
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Not at all,next year, book yourself a spa day and enjoy every minute, if he decides to go to his mother’s let him x
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You’re not wrong for wanting your own Mother’s day.
It’s also not wrong for him to want to do something for his mother on Mother’s day.
Something tells me you likely witnessed what his family dynamics were before getting married and having kids together.
Sounds like a little communication together about how you feel prior would have helped this situation rather than just an ultimatum.
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Ask him how they celebrated Mother’s Day when he was 6 did they spend the whole time visiting and celebrating his grandmother’s or did he get to celebrating his mother it will either prove his point or yours
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I wouldve handled it the same way honestly. what he did is unfair i mean he spends every mother’s day wjth her? you gave birth to his kids he should be celebrating you.
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“Here with the child everyday”
That’s a reason in itself to be celebrated! Damn, being a parent is hard work, especially for mothers! You deserve to be celebrated too, you have the day until it’s time to head out to visit his family
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Personally I feel Mother’s Day is a bigger deal when it’s young children, you should be his priority now, makes no difference to his mum whether he sees her the day before or on the day so that’s what he should’ve done & then spent it how you wanted to. I’d be livid at the fact he left you alone the whole day!
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I agree with all of these comments. Your husband seems like he only cares about celebrating his mom on Mother’s Day. Just because you’re there with your kids all day, doesn’t mean that you don’t have the right to celebrate you being a mom too on Mother’s Day. You guys need to talk more and work out a compromise. Maybe celebrate you half the day or celebrate the mom the day before or the day after
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As I read this - I think it is selfish the way the husband is - I know his mom is important - but you are the mom of his children
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Not in the wrong at all, he is selfish and self centred for not understanding! And he took the kids with him rather than leaving them with you? I’d be fuming!! You deserve to celebrate your mother’s day! X
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He should have either got together the day before or the weekend before Mother’s day and he should of had Mother’s day with you and your child and somehow alternate.
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Ur husband hasn’t even considered your feelings and got snide about it a would tell him out straight how he made u feel ur mum everyday and deserve to spend it how you like his mother sounds a bit stuck up mothers day is about all mothers not just 1 good for you for letting rip
Mum’s aren’t around forever… Then you’ll have your time.
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I’m completely agreeing with you on this one. If the only saw her once a year on mother’s day then fair enough but if they are seeing her regular then you need that day for you. I feel sad for you… Us mums just want a god damn thanks and a hug 
Not wrong, good for you for putting your foot down! Now maybe he’ll compromise!
My husband was like this, every mothers day and Christmas we travelled to both mothers and all I wanted was sleep. Now divorced, no mothers now it’s my turn
You have a right to be upset. But how about you have a special day set aside, a day for you to be spoilt. Then everyone gets what they want
Tell him he should marry his mother then
Does he spend father’s day with his dad ?
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Could you and your son/daughter do something just the 2 of you that day. He goes to his moms and you have a special day with your child
It’s give and take. Not Mother’s Day but for Christmas me and my partner who have been together 3 years alternative who parents house we have Christmas dinner at so it fair xxx
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You’re not wrong to be upset. It’s not wrong of him to celebrate mother’s day with his mum too. What he did wrong was to not consider your feelings as a mother. You should have a talk with him and let him understand how you feel. Come to a compromise. Maybe you can celebrate a day earlier. It doesn’t have to be on the day itself. It’s the thought that counts.
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Pack his stuff and tell him to move in with his bloody mother
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Not at all! If anything I would have told him to go to his mums by himself and then I would have planned something for just me and the kids to do. I don’t understand why the kids went with him when you’re their mother and it’s Mother’s Day. He needs to understand. What do you do for Father’s Day? Because if you make a big fuss of him and do something together then that needs to stop. And see how he likes it. X
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Sorry but your husband is an ass!!! He should be making this day special for you!!! You and your child are his faimly now and should be first!!! If maybe the following weekend he could go do something for and with his mom.
Have your husband pay for a spa day the day before …get yourself a massage, mani-pedi, and a new cut & style. Put on a cute outfit and go with your husband and child to see his mom. Not only will you feel like a million bucks, you’ll look like it too and you’ll give off a whole other vibe. I’m sure when you get home and put your child to bed, your husband may have a little something special for your Mother’s Day 
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Give him a good kick up the arse selfish sod
I hope more fathers speak out on this one. But it’s time for your MIL to stand down. You had/have every right to have that day for yourself and I hope your husband will see it that way by next year. And from this single father I’d like to with you a belated Happy Mothers Day.
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My husband says I am not his mother so I have had very little mother’s days in our 29 years of marriage.
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You aren’t wrong. Start planning your Mother’s Day getaway for next year.
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I debated even commenting because this year I had the privilege of hosting Mother’s Day. Normally my mil makes the reservation and pays for brunch.
This year she turned 90 and is not her usual energetic self.
I worked my butt off for two days preparing and I would do it every year in a heartbeat. She is not going to be around forever and I love her very much! I lost both my parents when they were in their 60s so she is my mom!
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Good luck with that.
This year I was home, but every Mother’s Day is about my mil. So are the other holidays.
Now the kids are older and it is about their mil’s. Out of my 4 boys, I got one text.
All I can say is till she dies it will be her day. Sad, but true.
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I spent the weekend with one of my daughters. She is also a mom. It was the best day I have had in years. My husband doesn’t seem to understand that I am the mother of his kids and I should have some type of acknowledgement. He sent a text to me, his mom and our daughters. Big freeking deal. I will do something for myself from now on…btw…we have been married for 42 years. The first year I was a mom I cried because he did nothing. Now, I do for myself.
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That is not right! How would he feel if Father’s Day was only about your dad and he didn’t deserve one for the same reasons he gave you for Mother’s Day. Not cool at all. You deserve a Mother’s Day
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Spend Mother’s Day at a place of your choice with YOUR children. Let him spend the day with his mom…it’s Mother’s Day and that way you both are happy! Hopefully he has your kids do something nice for you.
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We made a compromise. The Saturday before Mother’s Day is mine to be spoiled and pampered. On Sunday we honor our mothers.
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Is it really worth the arguments your stand will bring. You will not ways have your MIL
Try talking about what the whole family can do to celebrate all the women in the family or do the Mothers Day Classic with friends and do the rest afterwards.
It is not worth the angst you feel in yourself. Goodluck with it all
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My mother in law was the most precious woman, she loved me, embraced me and was the sweetest lady. Being far from my own mom, she was my “spare mom” how I’d love for her to still be alive so I could make it all about her. I don’t know how your relationship is with your mother in law, but from my experience, she deserved the world yesterday marked 2 years since she passed away and I miss her very much.
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I think mother’s of younger kids should get the day!! I sent my mother in law a card for Mother’s Day and then she complained to my husband that she didn’t like the card I chose!
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You’re not his mother! 
…but all mothers should celebrate it they way they want. Jst wait till your child grows older, they’ll celebrate it jst for you, with you 
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Sorry. I think your immaturity is showing. Mother’s Day is a made up holiday. A woman in 1907 held a memorial for her mother, and here we are. Your mil won’t be around forever, it is good that her son honors her, a model for your kids. Now. About you. You have options. Tell your husband you support his plans, appreciate his being a good son and you want to be pampered the Sunday before or after. A spa day with a girlfriend, breakfast in bed, flowers, dinner out - whatever. Then, there’s your birthday. Does he do it right? Good. Or is he a brute who downplays it and gives you an iron? If so, you have problems of which Mother’s Day is but a symptom.
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I went thru this for years at times it bothered me but over the years I understood what it was about it’s about family .We all went out for a meal together and it was perfect my mom his mom. My mother in law was my best friend so loving to all and held the family together. She and my mom passed 13 years ago just 2 months apart I d do anything to have those days back that’s when we were all together a strong and happy family. Yes I would do it all over again it was worth it being together and a family
I miss very much
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What do y’all do for Fathers Day? Still go up to his side of the family? I would gage that against how his father is treated
Same as his Mom? Then use that to make your decision to go. Even if he doesn’t do Mother’s day for you, he should be teaching your child what it’s all about.
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It was explained to me by my husband, that I am NOT his mother.
I was mother to the babies. So he honored His Mother.
That got straightened out fairly quickly. 
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I suppose we all look at this different , I would love to give up all my mothers days to spend another with my mum and mother in law, but then again they are gone,enjoy the time you have left with them your time will come, then maybe you will see things differently, I think we can all be a little selfish whilst they are around, but remember , you cannot change or repeat these days when they are gone so make them count , that’s my opinion anyway x
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Your husband is a mama’s boy. Honestly I would make plans with my kids and leave him to his own devices. Perhaps his mom wants him all to herself permanently? That can be arranged too.
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No you aren’t wrong at all. It should be about you and your kids now. Not his mom… I feel you… been there and yes it sucks but so glad you stuck up for yourself even tho I know you cried and had a hard day! Happy Mother’s Day!
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I honestly hate my mother in law she is always about her other kids not my husband and lately I’ve been telling.him no I won’t be doing anything with them or no the kids can’t go or u can go alone. She’s toxic and I hate being by her and I don’t want my kids by her honestly
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A little selfishness sometimes does no harm at all.
So,no you aren’t wrong for wanting to be loved on a special day,it’s good you were able to stand up for yourself.
I hope your husband understands that you need just more than the regular love or attention he gives you everyday.
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Man you are not wrong when fathers day comes tell him to go spend that day with his mother
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On a different note… his mom won’t be around forever. She is his mom… your kids should do for you. When she is gone… you will be treated this way.
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He disregarded your feelings. You were completely within your right to think of yourself this time.
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I’ve been married to my husband for 32 years (been together for 37). He and the kids have made my day special for me at home by giving me gifts, flowers and balloons. Then we’d get ready to go to his Mom’s house. Gave her gifts, flowers and balloons, then she would come with us to my Mom’s house and we’d do the same thing for her. Then my husband and my Dad would start the BBQ and made us all dinner with all my brothers and sisters and their families present. We’ve lost our parents now so now we celebrate for me and for two of my four daughters who are now mothers and we do the same thing. We celebrate at my house or at the daughter’s home or we meet at a restaurant. Your husband needs to work on making you feel special on Mothers Day and it won’t work unless it comes from his heart.
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So, plan Father’s day for another man on your side of the family for the next couple of years.
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Do similar for Father’s Day
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I think if you want to keep peace in your marriage, you should try to work with your husband. Mother’s Day is not worth fighting over. Talk to him and suggest that you choose the place you all will go to eat next time. Remember you have him every day and night of the week; his mother only get him on that special day.
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Sorry but I think your husband behavior is selfish and if your mother in law was decent she would want to teach her grandchildren the importance of honoring their mother. There is a grandparents day that could be reserved for her. If the day was about both of you being pampered then I could see the travel but that pizza would of went so far down my partner’s throat he would have choked. He can go see his Mom as a grown ass man and your kids can stay home with you. You would be surprised how special kids can make your day when they get creative pampering you. One year when my daughter was little she made me a plate of fruit and it was picture. I lost both my parents young I do understand the importance of recognizing your Mom or Dad however when mine have a family of their own I would never expect them to travel to me and ignore their partner.
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I can relate. I shared Mother’s Day with my mother and mother in law for years. But my husband always gave me beautiful flowers and a lovely card because I was the mother of his children. You have every right to state what you wanted to do and why. Mother’s Day is not qualified as “Old Mother’s Day”. Happy Mother’s Day to you … and your husband can grow up a little.
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My daughter’s and daughter in law are mom’s and deserve to have their day celebrated. My son knows that his wife is the mother to his children and she comes first. When you marry you leave your mother and father and become one with your spouse. I wouldn’t have any other way
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It took me a while to advocate for myself and what I wanted. My MiL’s birthday is right around Mother’s Day. So it always would be about her. Well, Mother’s Day is always on Sunday so I told my husband, from now on the Saturday before is my day. I will do whatever the eff I want. I have learned to appreciate my MiL and I want us both to have an opportunity feel special and appreciated.
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