Some people donât mind being friends with their ex. Honestly if it were me I would stop communicating & seeing each other. It may feel okay to him but itâs obviously very different for you, & itâs not going to help you at all. Especially when he still somewhat acts like youâre dating with the kisses. I would be honest & tell him you still have feelings for him and you think it would be best if you stopped talking until further notice
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Ex still wants to be friends, I'm still in love
There is some one else he will never admit to you about.
Because he wants the benefits of being around you without any of the responsibility of a relationship. A true friend wouldnât take advantage of your feelings and play with your head like that .
To keep you on the hook
To keep you from dating someone else
He is afraid of making a commitmentâ:face_with_raised_eyebrow:
For your mental health I would cut him off.
To keep getting sex and everything else from you because he knows he can
Itâs not possible. Tell him no. He wants you close so he can dip in and out and keep you on the hook til he better deals you. You donât need it. If heâs in love with you at all, you walking away and cutting him off will make him love you more than falling for this bullshit.
He donât want to see you move on and happy, while he had someone he loves and protect at all means.
He doesnât want you but doesnât want anyone else to have you either⊠TOXIC⊠cut him off . Start telling him you have a date make up a new guy see how he reacts
Let him go. Move on. Do not allow to keep you on a string
Let him know you need time to heal and you will contact him if and when you are ready.
He is keeping you as a backup while he looks for someone else. If he wants to be only friends then set boundaries. Friend stuff only. You canât have your cake and eat it too.
Ew
This sounds toxic. Like baaaad toxic âŠâŠ
Please run the other way and never go back
Or else in about 3-5 years youâre gonna remember this post and wish you had
Sending you luck
Drop him. He ainât worth it.
Test of patience not him god
Uou need a clean break love. He has made it clear what he wants/doesnât want and your the one who will be heart broken. Disconnect now before he draws you in further. Sounds like he is keeping you as a backup.
CUT HIM TF OFF he is keeping you tethered both mentally and physically
I had a very similar situation years ago. We dated for five years and had a good relationship. We realized we were on different paths in life and should go our separate ways â out of respect and love for one another.
We ended our relationship. Yet, we kept the friendship going strong. Genuine respect and love for each other. We would have lunch weekly, always gave each other a hug and âpucker styleâ kiss, and nothing more. This went on for yearsâŠ. I didnât date anyone during that time as Iâm not interested in dating many people.
Finally, after about three years, we stopped having lunch. I planned my future by becoming a mother and never looked back.
please donât waste anymore of your time!
He wants you in his life, but is no longer interested in being with you romantically.
You need time to heal and move past him before any kind of friendship can be had. Once you are sure you no longer want to be with him, then maybe you can be friends. Until then itâs just going to be torturous for you so donât do that to yourself.
Also, he may be doing things like kissing you on the lips to keep you hooked and thinking there is a chance. Itâs like an ego boost for him to know youâre still pining for him. If thatâs the case then heâs really toxic and I wouldnât be friends with him ever.
Break the ties⊠sounds like he is stringing you along⊠if itâs over itâs over!! Donât do that to your self! You wonât be able to move on if he is still around and u gave feelings for him!
He knows you love him still and wants to be able to have sex with you and no strings attached. Move on without his fake friendship.
He cares about you but doesnât love you anymoreâŠbut there is someone who will love you fully put your all into that when it comes
You are only going to get hurt trying to be friends with him. He most likely doesnt know you still love him a lot or he does know & isnt taking your feeligs into consideration. You should tell him not to kiss or hug you if hes doesnt want to be with you. be firm about it. Seems like he wants to be friends with benefits and by the sounds of it that probably isnt what you want.
He is playing you . Heâs keeping his foot in the door in case he has to run back to you. Move on. Be successful.
He is stringing you along for when it meets his needs. A friend wouldnât be confusing you. Walk away
Control excuse to do as he pleases & know you are gone waiting. Having cake & eating it too!! Run girl⊠donât walk.
Omg move on girl. You are wasting your time
Seems like he may have something going on with someone else but needs a plan IN case that fails. Save your feelings and your heart and run cut it off
Iâd think I was being kept on the back burnerâŠidk him or the situation but thatâs what it sounds like to me
Youre dating him he just aint dating you lol thats why
Itâs a control thing. He wants to keep you around for a âfriendâ Incase nobody else comes around. He hugs n kisses you cause he knows youâre in love with him n the more he does it the harder itâll be for you to stop having feelings. Girl if he donât wanna b together no more with u then u really need to let this man go seriously before you end up hurting yourself more than you already have. The more time you away from him the easier it gets I promise you this on everything. But the longer you around him the harder it is for you to let go of him. This isnât healthy for you at all whatsoever and itâs going to hurt more the longer you let this fool play with your emotions. He knows damn well what heâs doing too and when he not around you I can guarantee you heâs laughing at you thinking how pathetic this chick is and how itâs amusing to him to play with your heart and emotions and trust me thatâs how some guys are honestly and itâs hurtful and damaging to the female. So like I said let this man go and move on from him. Block him on your phone. Send him one last message stating you do not want nothing more to do with him and he needs to leave you alone for good and that you donât want to be friends with him at all. And after that message you block him truly block him and delete his number and the same with social media block and delete
Stop. Been there, and please for your sanity shut that shÂĄt down.
That sounds like a trauma bond. Also sounds like he discarded your and now heâs âhoovering.â (Google itâŠ) Classic narcissist . Heâs trying to keep that door open in case you let him back in. As long as you allow it, he will keep torturing you.
Hes keeping you in stand by so if you get into a relationship he can make you feel like crap or if whatever he gets doesnât work out he can run to you. Youâre a premeditated rebound. itâs blunt it sounds mean but itâs true
Definitely sounds like you are a backup and hes just stringing you along till he finds someone else and then heâs gonna ghost you
Let him miss you. Distance
Sounds like he wants the benefits of having you without the commitment
He doesnât want you, but he doesnât want anyone else to have you. He knows you are still emotionally attached and he is manipulating you through that attachment.
Oh sweetie youâre plan b when plan a falls apart. Time to cut that crap off. Iâve been there done that got the tee shirt then wised the hell up.
Let him see you with someone else. Itâll change
Heâs keeping you round until he finds someone he wants, youâre their in case he doesnât.
You sound like a back up plan
He just wants to keep you to the side just incase what hes doing doesnt work out. He doesnt want you to move on he wants u to keep thinking he wants you while he does his dirt so right now your a side piece until whatever he does (works out) move on. Dont let him keep playin mind games with you!
Yep. Just stringing you along until he finds someone better.
Cut it off now.
Distance. Itâs a game. Game over.
Nope. Cut it off. Heâll either realize he made a huge mistake and come back for real, or youâll have the space to heal. Either way, this will just make you more heartbroken.
As the old saying goes, why buy the milk when they can get it for free! Heâs playing with your emotions and your feelings!! As long you are willing to play the game along with him, you are as much at fault as he is. Be wiseâŠwalk away. You are better that this!
Playing with fire. Heâs not sure he wants you but doesnât want to let you go either. Like heâs just keeping you warm and on stand-by. And if you have feelings still, youâre probably going to end up hurt.
Heâs just keeping you on the back burner so he can smell out when you start to move on. Backup plan.
You need to cut your ties and leave!! Heâs just keeping you until he finds something he actually wantsâŠ. Please do yourself a favor and move on
Using you for a piece!
Donât be a fool, get out now while u can. It will hurt but in a few months u will forget all about him. If he really wants you he will come to you, and beg your forgiveness. But still u r not one of his cording strings that he can pull in and out when he wants to.
Iâm mean it could be a couple things like stated in the above comments, or he genuinely wants to be friends, some people are meant to be friends & nothing more. I have a friend who her ex is literally one of her best friends and they do things together (not sexual) but they just couldnât be in a relationship it just wasnât working.
He doesnât want you, but he doesnât want anyone else to have you either.
I hate to say this because it is going to sound mean but you are an option to him⊠He wants to keep you around until something better comes along or he doesnât want to be defined as your boyfriend because he wants the freedom to do whatever he wants while still having you in his back pocket⊠Unless you are OK with that, you need to cut him off and find you a man that wants you the way you want him!
Heâs doing that to hurt you! That is what you call a narcissist⊠he doesnât want you⊠but he doesnât want anyone else to have you⊠he knows how you feel about him and he uses that as an advantage for himself⊠because he knows youâll do anything for him⊠easier said than done⊠but get away why you can⊠let him see you with someone⊠and make him hurt for awhile and if he changes his ways that shows, either in a good way or a bad way⊠it will mentally destroy your menta health⊠Iâve been there! I had to do a lot of counseling from my situation⊠not something you wanna deal with⊠Iâm sorry you are going through this⊠but you need to cut ties and be alone for awhile focus on yourself, and let him do his own⊠show him that you donât want that kind of ârelationship â.
Heâs keeping you as back up.
Sorry sis!
Walk away. Heâs playing games with you.
For your own sake, no contact. It will just hurt more.
Heâs probably seeing someone else and wants to keep you around as a back up⊠or just to hook up without the commitment. I would cut that off now⊠youâre only going to hurt yourself in the long run.
He only has access to you if you allow him to. He wanted to end the relationship he wants to remain friends, what do you want? Tell him youâre not ready to be friends and block him so u can focus on you and moving forward, you donât owe him friendship just like he didnât owe u a relationship.
Heâs getting what he wantsâŠhe doesnât even have to invest anything⊠you are worth sooooo much more. Donât settle for being this boys toy. Set your boundaries, raise your vibration and get your groove onâŠ
As long as he can get the milk free he will never by the cow.
Heâs keeping his options open til he finds better. Move on and stop entertaining him.
You wonât be able to move onto better things if you stay in limbo with this guy who is pulling your strings. Emancipate yourself, honey. You deserve better.
He is toying with your emotions. Id consider distancing yourself from him. Obviously once he is in a relationship with someone new your gonna be dropped very quickly and hurt even more.
You are a backup, honey. I would tell him itâs all or nothing either weâre together or weâre not and if itâs not then walk away and donât look back
He wants the convenience of being with you. Donât torture yourself. Leave
Bad plan. Focus on you for a while then decide.
He wants a fwb nothing attached
My ex did the SAME exact thing he wanted me around and he knew how much I was in love with him, we were together for 3 and a half years. He iced me out when he met someone new and then when she left him he was right back wanting to be friends. She decided she wanted to make things work and like a switch flipped off he was ignoring me again the next day. Only time he answered me was to tell me not to contact him again. Iâve seen this scenario play out again and again where I was the girl on the shelf until I was needed. Save yourself the pain and make a clean break, I know it hurts but sticking around for someone who has made it clear they donât love you is just going to hurt worse when he does find someone new.
He means FWB, so he can also explore some more out thereâŠmove on.
go live your life and forget him. Maybe one day you can be friends but this is too soon and you still have feeling there
Heâs keeping you dangling on a leash. Your just the side chic
Tell him if he wants relationship privileges, heâs gotta subscribe for the full package. Kissing, intimacy and any of that is relationship only.
Just because something doesnât work out romantically doesnât mean that you donât want to keep them as a friend in your life. I am friends with a couple of my exâs, they are still good people and so am I, it just wasnât meant to be in the love department. But if you are still in love with him then you need to take a break till you can get your feelings under control or stop seeing him all together. Itâs nice to be able to remain friends but itâs not for everyone. Itâs not always sinister, it can be genuinely wanting a friendship and not wanting to waste all the time you spent together to only end up hating each other
Maybe heâs sacred to admit that he wants a relationship⊠my fiancĂ© and I fought our feelings for about 2 months.
Heâs probably interested in another women but still wants to hold on to you because he still has feelings & also might want a back up plan in case that doesnât work out
Stop dating him. That will allow him to find out for himself what he really wants. You will also find how you feel.
Cut it off until your strong!!! He needs u in some way still
He just want his cake and eat it to and you allow it. All this doing is draining you emotionally and you donât need that headache and drama. While he living his life with others women, he going to comeback to you and become friends with benefits. Time to grow and move on.
Run Donât walk Run! Youâre the one that is going to get hurt! As soon as someone else comes along you will be pushed aside! I know youâre not going to listen to anyone but all of us commenting have been there and some probably still are but that situation is nothing but heartache for you! Try to move on!
Heâs bread crumbing you
He wants his cake & eat it too. Heâll string you along till someone better fills the bill.
Get some space for a while. You need to get over him and you arenât gonna do that with him there in front of you. He may want to be with you, but doesnât want to admit it. But you deserve someone who wants you. Not a friend especially one with benefits if its going that way.
save yourself from all the drama & BS next thing youâll know he doesnât need u anymore. Save yourself while u can
He basically wants to have his cake and eat it too !
So he wants you as a side dish ,no strings attached.
But youâre doing damage to yourself by allowing this
As you said you inlove with him so I can understand why you glady allow him to still be in your life.
Youâll be around until he finds someone.
Please cut of all ties for your own good
Maybe he swings the other way.
Your his security blanket while he tests the water. Donât be. Help yourself by letting go. If you really love him you will set him free.
He still loves you, but he doesnât want to admit it
This reminds me of the horrific 2 years it took to end it with my narcissistic ex. Donât put yourself thru the pain. Youâre worth more.
Heâs keeping you around just in case nothing better comes along. Been there.
Iâm not sure if this is just a Southern thing butâŠ
He wants to keep you on the backer burner.
I think sometimes they care too much and it scares them, so they put you in a no no box. On the other hand, there are those that choose to feed their ego and fuck with people. Heâs either scared or a dickâŠeither way you need to do whatâs best for you, even if that means slamming the door shut on what you want
Donât torture yourself.
I am sorry to say this but move on! Also, donât let him convince you to date him again. Stay as friends if you want but put your foot down no touchy close hugs & kisses. You are better without a guy who just wants to be friends but yet fools around with you.