Has anyone dealt with an incorrigible child that they turned over to children and youth services? Had to give up their rights due to the child being uncontrollable and disrespectful. If so, what was the process?
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Has anyone given the rights up of their child?
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How old is the child ?
How old? Circumstances? As for the process, idk.
So sad. Moms are supposed to love unconditionally. If they canât count on you , who can they trust in life?.
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Giving your child up voluntarily? Yikes.
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So we just giving away kids cuz they are disrespectful? Wowwwww
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Have you tried counseling, medication, etc? I have have a child thatâs uncontrollable and disrespectful but I wouldnât give him up.
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If they are that bad, send then to boot camp.
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The only way Iâm giving up my child to an institution is if theyâve tried to seriously harm me or anyone in my household with malicious intent
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Oh wow. Having a child whoâs disrespectful and wild doesnât mean they should go into a system with child molesters and abusers. But, maybe theyâll be safer without you.
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Boot camp would be better than just giving up on your child. Wow.
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Sometimes itâs best for all involved. Including the child. Donât let people make you feel less than because they can only see thru their own lens and speak from there. Must be a very difficult situation.
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Perhaps itâs not a bad child but a shitty mom!!!
Have you tried everything possible? Therapy, medication, discipline, etc? How old is this child? Is there a family member that can take the child?
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You canât rehome kids like dogs. Especially into the system where itâs unreliable and unrealistic to believe theyâll be cared for. With that being said depending on circumstances I would look into group homes for behavioral services where you can still be an active parent involved in the solution instead of the problem.
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How old is the child and what country?
No I try parenting before I give them away.
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No way would I ever give my child up under any circumstances.This is what counseling and meds are for
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I usually just beat mine and leave them in the woods for a week when they act up. Sets them right for about a month and we do it again.
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My soon to be 17 year old son was terrible. Terrible! He hit me in the mouth with a shoe once when he was 4. I didnât give up on him. This is absurd to me.
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Remember some women drive their kids into the ocean. Iâd rather the women tap out and the child possibly have a chanceâŚ
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Yâall donât know the situation, they gotta do whatâs best for them. And if they feel their child is that out of control, then bravo to this parent for realizing this and trying to do whatâs best for that child
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SMH not supposed to give up on your kid
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Try not to be so judgemental⌠Sheâs just seeking advice.
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If all of the steps have been taken to help the child, doctorsâŚmedsâŚtherapies and allâŚdonât down this person. We donât know what theyâve been through. Iâve been on the receiving end of a malicious childâŚnot mineâŚbut one who lived with me. Sometimes you can only do so much.
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As a CPS worker, please donât do thisâŚ. These are the most heartbreaking cases for me, taking in a kiddo bc their parents donât want them is horrific, and if I had it my way parents would be charged 
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Yâall have no idea what this lady is going through, so please donât judge her. What if she is on a mental break herself? Single mom who may feel like she is about to lose it. Now if we see something on the news where God forbid something tragic happened yâall would be saying âwhy she didnât reach out for helpâ. She is reaching out. Let this be safe space to encourage her to keep her kids or resources that can help. Please! Geez!
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You should definitely go to therapy with your child because most likely it is something you are not teaching them correctly or perhaps they need to be on medicine. However, from this post alone, adoption would be great because if you havenât already tried those methods, you have no business being a parent. Parents do not give up on their children.
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Do what is best for the child! A lot of children flourish when out from under their own parents mental health outburst, bad parenting, and the bad situations they come from!
I have custody of 3 children right now who beg me to never let their mom take them!!! Not all people can be good parents. Nor deserve the love of these incredible children!
This mother told me how horrible these kids are, how they wonât get up for her, how they wonât listen to her, wonât clean the house, etc. Bit it was ALL A HER PROBLEM.
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Look into an at risk youth facility. These places help rehabilitate youth as well as teach parents how to handle outbursts and other situations. I work at one, and by the time the youth leave us, they are on a great road to recovery.
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Why donât you put your child into therapy? It might help instead of just giving them up.
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Your first step would be to call cps. Also there may be underlying medical issues they could help you with. You all need to stop mom shaming. You donât know the circumstances and this may be the only way she knows how to help her child.
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Sounds like Dr. Phil is needed
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Why donât you get your child the help they need
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I donât know where youâre from, but in VA we have the CHINS program. I donât know what youâre going through, so I cannot comment. But I can speak as a parent who was wrongly stripped of her rights through CPS. Donât do it! Petition to the court for juvenile intake, but donât let that child go. ((HUGS)) Mommaâ¤ď¸
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A mom that gives up her child is not a mom makes you a horrible person. You can get help to better the child and maybe yourself without giving your kid up. Maybe your child can feel that you donât love them unconditionally and thatâs why they are out of control. A mom is supposed to be there thick and thin if mom gives up theyâll never trust anyone else to be there for them. Maybe you shouldnât have had or have children and if you sign rights over to one might as well sign off on any other children you have to cause you obviously donât care about your children.
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Iâm not sure what the process is, but maybe you can contact your local children and youth and talk to them about it. And Iâm disappointed in a lot of yâall. We donât know the circumstances at all so why put someone down that is probably hanging on by a thread. I mean, it is her child!! My oldest brother was awful to my siblings and I growing up. Emotionally and physically violent. Iâm honestly surprised he didnât end up killing one of us. We donât know the situation here, the poster asked for advice, not judgement
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No judgement is needed she asked a simple question And maybe has tried everything Maybe she just feels like nothing else will help maybe sheâs asking for a friend Maybe the child is abusive
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How about not give up on them . Itâs called teach them. If you have other children and give them a chance and not this kid itâs not fair or right. And In that case I donât think itâs fair for you to be a mother to the others. I said what I said.
So you think the child is going to thrive and get better in the system? No, thatâs not going to happen. Do you realize the issues you will be causing? You are the parent who is ABANDONING your child. If youâre willing to give up on your child that easily, have you possibly considered you have issues??? Maybe your issues are spilling into your child.
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First, find a good family that is deserving and will be patient with the kid. Second, go get your fucking tubes tied so this doesnât happen again
Unfortunately it happens a lot more than people think. But no one talks about it bc of judgementâŚI would encourage starting with therapy if that had not been done. If the child is currently with children and family services, talk to a worker, they should be able to help guide with the next step. Depends on what the end goal is. Reunification or termination? Were rights terminated or was guardianship placed with the state?
Iâm so sorry you are going through this. I canât imagine how difficult and heartbreaking this must be for you. I would speak to Child services about how to go about this if it truly is what you want/need to do for the best interest of you and your child.
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Never give up on your kids and never ever sign your rights over!!! I couldnât even imagine doing that and could you imagine how your child would feel knowing you gave up on him or her !! 
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That child when they get older will hate you. Ditching them probably have to go in a group home with stranger they will never forgive you. Why give the child up? Parenting to hard for you? Shouldnât have a child then. My child is a handful and has anger issues I had to reach out to a behavioral counselor. I wouldnât give my child up no matter how hard parenting is
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If you feel this way, I canât imagine how the child must feel. 
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I WAS the child that was surrendered and let me tell you all it does is increase the anger and hate⌠I literally didnât shed a tear when my âmomâ died last July⌠if you want to know why your child is acting out, maybe go to therapyâŚ
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Thatâs very drastic have you tried family therapy, a tutor, sports, medical analysis for mental conditions sorry for assuming you have not.
should have elaborated a bit on what steps youâve taken before youâve came to this decision. & maybe also the reasons youâre saying you want to give up your rights to your child besides âuncontrollable & disrespectfulâ
this is too vague sugar. if I were to answer solely off of what youâve put here my responses would match about 99% of the others thatâs commented.
you donât just give up on your child. maybe try this again with more detail.
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Have you exhausted all options and help? Are you in danger? Is the child in danger from you? Do you want to harm your child? Have you tried therapy? Have you gotten to the root cause? Are you a good parent? How old is the child? Is the childâs needs being met?
So many questions not answered and ask yourself them. If the answer is still yes, call CPS or the doctor and see what they can do?
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This is sickening⌠I am no judge, but children act the way they are allowed and the way they are shown⌠This poor kid.
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Did you try a good ass whooping before you just abandon them?? Any mental issues with the child? Or physical? If they are acting out something is wrong. Maybe ask everyone in your family to take themâŚ
Wow I hope you have any and all children removed from your care. You sound like a monster.
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Maybe try to get the child therapy or any other help the child may need instead of just giving up on him/her.
You know what? This comment thread is digesting! Sure, the situation is bad. But we see moms killing their children due to mental breakdowns and just overall bad parenting and not being ready or simply just NOT wanting to be a parent! Sheâs reaching out for advice and for help and yâall just shame her! This is why crap like that happens! Moms canât reach out for help because if they do, THIS is the result. Do better.
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For the safety of all those involved, sometimes itâs better to ârehomeâ as the lady a few comments ago said, the child! I cared for a child for 9 months that was only 6 years old and she was very hard to control or rather discipline. I did counseling, therapy, medication, gentle parenting, hard parenting and she made my life hell. And I raised four kids and have 12 grandkids. I eventually had to let her go!! You do whatâs best for you and your family!
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I would gladly take your child. Do not let them go into the system.
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Thereâs honest safety and wellness reasons to give up a child. âuncontrollable and disrespectfulâ is a reason for a child to escape a parent.
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I donât know but if u live close to me maybe I can help, or take the child 1 day a week to give u a brake and see if that helps ? I have 6 kids and I have been at the end of my rope and couldnât get any help ⌠it gets better âŚ
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Wow youâre the problem, not the child.
If you dont want your child just say that, nobody forced you to be a mom. You should probably give him to a family member until he can be adopted out.
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Iâd NEVER ever give up my child. I brought him into this world, and Iâm sure as hell not gonna be giving him up because of the reasons youâve given. Get the child the help they need, imagine giving your own flesh and blood up for adoption, where they can be passed from pillar to post. How old is your child? Because itâs so damaging to let them go into the system.
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I need more information on what the child is actually doing. I can understand this if youâve done everything (therapy, meds, counseling etc) and nothing has helped and they are a danger to themselves or others. But if itâs bc you are just tired of dealing with every day parent life⌠thats a whole different story.
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You can get them in an inpatient behavioral health facility first.
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Iâd talk to children services and talk to them. You wonât get much help here because people are so judgmental. Iâm sure u exhausted all available options and you need advice from a professional.
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The amount of hate here caught me off guard⌠My mom had to do that with my brother because he was a literal danger to the family. He could and probably would of killed somebody or the dog. Sometimes a mother has to do something painful to her and the troubled child such as this in order to help save herself and the other children!! Idk what state your in, but they will probably file child support from you to provide for your child. And hospital bills if the state institutionalizes your child for a period of time. Just a fyi as it happened with my mom. For those saying itâs bad parenting and the kid can hate said parent⌠my brother (the one who was removed) and I are closer than we ever were and is thriving because of the care he got from the state. As well is also close with our mother and the rest of the family.
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This is incredibly sad 
I feel bad for your child.
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Wondering if youâve looked in the mirror at the fingers pointing back.
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Iâve gone to therapy with my child. It helped a lot and social workers in school. It takes a village. Think more.
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I would talk to children services. They can help you. They have lots of resources for situations like this. Even having respite to give the parents a break. If you truly think giving up your rights is in the best interest of the child, then who are we to judge? We donât know her situation. Hope you find the help you are looking for.
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That child needs help, not abandoned 
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There is a support group called parents of biopolr children we are definitely less judgmental. People shouldnât judge if they have never been in that position smdh
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Are you in danger sweetie? Are other kids in danger? Message me. I have a mentally ill child that I need to send to RTC⌠It was a difficult to come to terms with but for the well being of the family and community at large we have to.
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My son was incorrigible. He was actually taken into the youth services for his behavior. While there he received counseling and strict structure. The system really doesnât want you to give up your parental rights (so they can collect child support while the child is in their custody). Good luck, I hope things work out for your family.
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Yes we did with my husbandâs son at age 16. We went to court to get help, we went to counselors to get help we did everything we could and finally my husband threw up his hands and told the courts to keep him and they did. I really didnât care what happened to him after that nor did his father.
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Iâm actually gobsmacked at this post that poor baby. Obviously something is going on for them to act up and be this way. And you want to send them into care 
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What supports has the OP received? Are there any additional we can offer before this route?
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Oh dear God please let me forget I even read this and go hug my kids even tighter then I ever have before. This makes me so sad and angry. Thatâs enough Facebook for a while 
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I know this seems messed up but I would rather see a child given up than a child abused or killed. With that being said I would hope youâve tried everything you can before resorting to giving the child up. This is something you canât reverse. Good luck.
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My mother did that to meâŚ. Turns out I wasnât a bad kid at all - she was a selfish person who cared about drinking and dating and staying out all the time and wanted to do whatever she wanted to do without the limitation of her childrenâŚ.
Donât know how she is going to face that at the pearly gates but honestly - I was better off without her in the end.
If you donât want to be a parent - fine - but please have a hysterectomy at the same time. Cause thatâs not fair - mind you making a child think THEY are the problem isnât fair either and them feeling like they are bad and horrible little people cause of your impatience and lack of parenting skills and empathy isnât fair to the child either - so maybe you need some counselling and the child does deserve a better home.
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Do you have a case manager? If not Iâd find out where your nearest community service board is and get one. They can help you access resources that may alleviate the stress for you and help your child and you find a way to manage this. Including in home therapies for behaviors and other options. Medications? Therapy? I know itâs hard. Iâm a special needs mom and a case manager for children with special needs. It isnât an easy task.
I would seek out therapy for you both before that. However I donât know if you tried that. Just make sure you are sure before you contact CPS.
You need to give more details. Thatâs extremely vague to be asking any kind of advice for. Have you donât anything to help your child? Has your child been evaluated? Where is the father? Can he take the child? What do you mean by uncontrollable. Like back talk? Or smashing shit all around your house? We are all moms here. This is obviously going to be a sensitive subject.
To even ask this tells me yea you probably arenât prepared to parent. So definitely someone tell them how.
With not alot of information or background. I would suggest trying to go to counseling. Both family and child counseling.
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So no one is going to answer and just assume a bunch of stuff huh? You assume they havenât tried everything else? What if this kid set the family dog on fire and punched a toddler? Quit judging
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We donât know the circumstances, the age, the degree of ugliness the child puts the family through. Instead of accusing we need to be sympathetic. A mother goes a long way before realizing she can no longer do a child any good.
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Minimal information about the childâs behaviour and what you have done to repair the relationship, but it sounds like you failed that child miserably. I hope they find hope and love in life. No child is âuncontrollable,â theyâre just going through/being put through things that you donât understand/wonât accept.
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Is this real life? Youâre child is not a toy you can âreturnâ once you consider them âdefectiveâ⌠probably at your own hands no less. This is disgraceful.
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I work in a group home for troubled children. Honestly get the state involved sometimes itâs best for your family. Iâm punched. Spit at, bite daily I have to put kids in holds we r trained to deal with it but also we see therapists ourselves because of the torment we go through. So kudos for doing whatâs best
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Is the form of incorrigible something like psychopathy, or some dangerous traits that youâre afraid are going to spiral? Because I think that process is different than terminating rights to a child with behavior issues. I could be wrong, but I think theyâre separate processes.
My mom used to always threaten this to me as a child⌠and we were pretty good kids. I hope this is not your case.
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We had to with my step daughter as well, it was sad but had to be done. Exhausted all avenues and she was unpredictable, actually scared us. Hubby has contact but nothing has changed and refuses to help her self.
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Some of yâall are awful
As if you know the situation
Smh
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There are certain circumstances where a child has to be given up to the state. My mom taught Sunday school and there was a kid who was a straight up psychopath. He tried to murder his parents and would intentionally hurt his siblings and they had no choice. It happens. Sad, but they had to protect themselves and their other children.
I sure hope you have tried every Avenue to get the child help and figure out what the root of the problem is, and arenât just disposing them like trash because you donât want to put in the work.
Have you asked yourself what youâve done to possibly contribute to this childâs behavior?
Do you realize the trauma youâre going to cause this child by doing this?
Is this an adopted child ? Unfortunately happens all the time if so.
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Iâd say the child needs love & patience not to be given up its no wonder the childâs acting out ⌠Donât care how hard things get with my kids Iâd work through it isnât that what being a parents about ⌠You never give up on ur kids ever
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I will be unlike many comments on this post. No I have NOT done it. But have considered it. Why? My daughter is autistic, has impulsive mood disorder, oppositional defiance disorder, bi polar, ADHD, ocd, and PTSD. Was she always this unmanageable NO ⌠HER DAD TOOK HER FOR TEN MONTHS AND DROPPED HER BACK OFF. I HAVE SPENT ALMOST THREE YRS. PROVING MYSELF AS A MOM. TAKING HER THROUGH THERAPIST AFTER THERAPIST. for most to tell me anything. And everything can or will trigger her. And now it has gotten to the point where my almost 13 yr old beats her brother and sister who are seven and four. She will push me pull my hair. ECT. But because the state is involved with her âservices,â there is No way to discipline her⌠At all. And it is very tiring.
I have had people in my home five days a week. We all learned how to âmanage her,â but then her explosions have just gotten worse. I feel like Iâd be Bad for giving up on her but Iâve had pediatricians tell me itâs my job to keep my other two children safe. So what is a parent to do???
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Join these! Parents of Children with Conduct Disorder Oppositional Defiant Disorder, Adjustment Disorder with Conduct and ADHD Parents of Children with ADHD, ODD, Autism, Conduct Disorder, SPD, or PTSD conduct disorder and ODD are real and they are serious. My son has been in behavioral therapy and on bipolar medication for almost 5 years and he is only 9.5 years old.
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