This is heart breaking. 
Kyron Horman is still missingā¦
I work with Children n these homes. You donāt have to give up your rights as long as youāre willing to work with the therapists and counselors that will be caring for your child. You can reach out and a case manger can talk with you about all the steps and work to helping your child eventually come home. And if they come home and over time get bad again you can reach out and have them re-evaluated to see if meds need changed due to puberty or anything.
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Please donāt give up your child,
Iām sure that there is help out there for you.
Therapy may help
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We have been in this situation,my 15 yo grandson was recently put into care(severe autism) we needed to do this to keep his siblings,mum and grandparents safe.He became way to strong and violent.I love him more than I can explain and miss him terribly but he has adjusted really well and is very happy both at school and in his new home.We have had such injuries Im sure were because of his frustration of being non verbal.We havent encounted any judging only wonderful help from professional people who have all sai d they dont know how we managed for so long.Sending hugs your way.
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My adoptive parents had to do this with my younger brother. They basically got a lawyer and turned him over to the state after countless therapist and youth homes to try and change his behavior.
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please seek professional help. I am sorry you do not have an support system to share this with. I would reach out to a child therapist as well as a therapist for yourself. Thereās so many resources out there. I am sorry you are getting some backlash for thisā¦ itās a very raw thing to post and took a lot of courage. Unfortunately public forms can be tough especially on a subject like this. I am praying for you and your child. May you both find comfort in the days ahead.
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What exactly is this child doing be more descriptive please
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We definitely need more details
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I personally am a foster mom and i can tell u itās the hardest thing I ever had to do but I fight for my kids I love them the most and fight for them to be healthy n happy mentally emotionally by all costs and I am a single mom this is heart breaking for me to hear considering how hard I fight for mine
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So you failed them parenting so pass them on and give up completely? Horrible post
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Bro I am too this point with my son
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Sometimes children are a product of their environment, sometimes children are neurologically or psychologically incapable of controlling their impulses and sometimesā¦both. It gets hard. So hard. When youāre feeling out of control, your child feels that as well. Your baby needs you but he needs you healthy enough to be a good parent. If you can find a way to get yourself help for YOU, the rest will be so much easier to handle. I promise you the greatest thing you can do for your child is to take care of yourself so you can be the best parent. It wonāt get easier until you get better. I havenāt been in your position, but my heart hurts for you. Iām so sorry youāre feeling this way. 
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Who in their right mind just signs their child away?!
How did you HAVE to give up your rights?
My son was also uncontrollable, and disrespectful. I did not give him up and never would. There are way too many resources out there.
I got my son into counseling, and psychiatry. I found out he was also using marijuana I put him in a weekly random drug testing and treatment class he goes to every week. He also got into legal trouble, he was put on probation. He goes to a 2 hour class twice a week to learn about whats actually in drugs, and talk about the disrespect and the right way to deal with things in life. My son also went to a mindset program and changed his mindset. There are many things parents can do to help their children. My son is a completely different child now but we went through it with him for a good 6 years before it clicked for him.
Just giving up on them and sending kids away hurts the child more and could make them worse.
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Iām a foster mom 16 yrs helping children of all ages. Contact your physician get a referral for behavioral services. If your child needs meds they can help control those behaviors. I know I have a son who is Austic he is 14 yrs old. It wasnāt easy when he was a toddler but I got help and services to help me guide him in the right path. Good luck with your child. Also how old is your child?
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It is really difficult to do. Trust my sister tried multiple times because my nephew tried to kill her multiple times. He was put in a mental hospital at 12 and spent 90% of his teen years there. He would come him try to kill her, his brother, or himself and go back. Because of his mental issues now he has to live with her until he is 22 through the terms of dcfs . He is 19. It definitely didnāt work in her favor.
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It means youāre a crappy parent to even consider it.
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These comments are yuck.
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There are tons of resources out there for you and your child. If you give up on them you are setting them up to fail for the rest of their lives. I couldnāt even imagine just giving my children away 
They didnāt ask to be brought into this world, you made that choice. If you honestly thought it would be easy then you never should of had kids.
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Doing that would likely make a kid far worse.
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Iāve not read all the comments so it may have been suggested already.
Would taking a break be a option ?
Before giving up rightsā¦ if your struggling and mental health needs help would staying with family be a option while you both take a breather and see where things are at. Itās a temporary option where as giving up rights is permanent you may be in a better headspace after a break.
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I am really confused on how a child has gotten to the age to where they can be disrespectful and unruly, and now you want to give up your kid.
More than likely, itās your fault the child is that way. They are a product of their parents.
I know there are people on this post who are like ādonāt feel badā blah blah blahā¦ But if your child is unruly and disrespectful weāre probably talking about a child aged what???.. 8-14?
So now what youāre doing instead of putting on your big kid pants and getting help for your child (really it should be for you) your idea is to cut tail and run?
Talk about creating serious abandonment issues in a child that doesnāt deserve a parent like you. It sounds like the kid got the short end of the stick.
The kid is probably better off in foster care than with someone like you. While youāre in the process of trying to re-home a human beingā¦ Do the world a favor and get fixed.
You clearly donāt have what it takes to be a parent.
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I lost my kid due to being trwbs in a custody battle, make sure it is what you want cos the hole in your soul will slowly destroy you. So make sure it is what U want
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I wouldnt dare judge you and even though you didnt explain much, i will say that there are kids that are unfortunately just sociopaths or psychopaths and no amount of therapy will help. I mean just bc a kid is a kid doesnt automatically mean they are a good person.
Its so hard to imagine giving up rights to our own children however if you feel that you have to, then you have toā¦ its better than someone ending up hurt bc tempers are lost wether it be from you or the child.
We dont know you and dont know what you have been through, what you have got done for your child or even how your child behaves so therefore we have no right to judge you.
Some ppl are blessed enough not to have to know anything about this and i wish everyone was that blessed, and very happy for the ones that are.
I knew a woman that took her own life bc she felt hopeless and her own child looked at a group of us at her motherās funeral and said āabout time that bitch killed herselfā then she walked straight up to the coffin and said āsleep tight mommyā She was 8 years old and her mom had her in therapy and had exhausted everything she could think of. She loved her babygirl very much. Thats just something to think about for the ones judging this mom
I was the child that needed to be placed when I was younger. My parents loved me but I was out of control unruly and spitting in my momās face and throwing food on the floor telling her to clean it up. The state jumped in after so many runaway charges and said they would either charge my parents with neglect or I had to be ruled as unruly and given my rights given to the state. I went to a group home, while my parents paid child support. The home closed down and I was place in a path home therapeutic foster care home. For six months. My mental health became under control and my parents got their rights back after the therapeutic foster care. They did everything they could to try help me. Treatments paid for our of their own pockets, and they put everything with their children first. I needed to be placed to realize how disrespectful and unwell I was. No one knew they bullshit and horrors my parents lived for years. Hoping to get their little girl back. Do not be so judgemental towards her. Maybe this child was alot like meā¦
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I rather see someone give up their rights than see a child neglected or murdered.
Stop fucking shaming a person for doing something that will be in the childās best interest because hopefully then the person who takes on raising the child will want to and help the child thrive throughout life.
I did my internship in child welfare and am a board licensed mental health therapist and nurse. First you and the child need your own therapist. Second if you must get DSS involved some of them have Family Preservation programs that you can be in. In these programs you keep your kid(s) and they provide you with support to help make your family better.
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Iām confused on how a child gets to this point without you being somewhat to blameā¦ i mean donāt get me wrong I know psychopaths sometimes are born that way but
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I would never give up my child for those circumstances. Do you even ask why heās like that? Is he being bullied? Is he being abused by someone? Caregiver? Friends? Family? Parents? I was a bad preteen/teenager I would get physical with my family because I had no one to listen to me they would just judge me, my mom abused me so my aunt took me in at 7years old and everything got worse. More judgement, abuse, no one listened. A family member sexually abused me and forced their kids on me also until I was 7 and then again when I was pregnant with my oldest. Now my kids are going through stuff. They never misbehaved EVER and all of a sudden snap they are being horrible! A family member abused them physically, verbally and emotionally, they went through a lot this year medically and have been being bullied at school! No matter what Iām here and not giving up on them ever! Theyāre getting all the right help they need now and I would take any kid in if I could afford it
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Without more information it is difficult to give advice. How old is the child? What has been done to help mitigate the situation? What trauma has the child and/or parents experienced? What resources are available to the family? Have all other options been exhausted?
Child often act out as a cry for help. Not in all cases but in a great deal.
My hope is that this mother has tried everything within her power to address the behaviors of the child and this is a last option. I hope the family is in therapy because this is a traumatic situation.
Where I live if a child is detained, an investigation is completed, the court will hold a hearing an order services to meet the needs of the family. The court will order a progress hearing in 6-months, reassess the family and proceed. If it is deemed unsafe for the child to return home of parent, the Department will look for a family member, friends to place the child with and offered permanency.
Best if luck. 
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Instead of turning over to the state have you considered sending child to a place like Happy Hills in Texas? I donāt know of others in US but I feel like there are many around. This particular place in Texas bases the tuition on income so itās very reasonable. Itās a live in facility for the kids and they can live there as long as itās needed. They reform children of all ages. Top rated, safe environment, highly respected! Kids will see a therapist as much as needed. An adult lives in the homes( more like cabins) on site and provides stability, a schedule they must follow, school included as well as sports. Please consider something like this instead of placing your child in the states hands.
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I would never give up my child for behavior in a million years. I would fight for their rights and take them to any Dr or specialist they need to get them the right treatment! When you gave birth that was what you took on.
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Has child been checked for odd ECT and If so have they been medicated? A hundred thing come to play in my response to thisā¦
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WOW! Just wow. I canāt relate to this, nor would I ever want to. I can relate to being irritated, tired, exhaustedā¦etc. Your child deserves better.
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Wow these people slamming this person for reaching out but yet if she didnāt reach out and ended up hurting the child or herself she would be slammed againā¦ u really canāt win in this crazy world we live inā¦
Personally I can understand how someone cud be pushed to making this difficult decision as I know someone who has had a particularly tough time as a mother and not knowing where to turn too and getting no helpā¦
Donāt judge unless u have walked a mile in her shoes
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If these are your thoughts about your own flesh and blood, then please do give your child away. They donāt deserve being in a household like this 
donāt judge ? Damn right Iām going to judge. Imagine you were that kid getting discarded and not knowing how to fix yourself to stop it from happening or what to do to be allowed to go back to your safe place with his mama or daddy. He didnāt ask to be put into this world. That was your choice. Now be a parent and fix whatever mess your poor baby is in mentally.
Iām not taking any kind of side here, but I will say allot of people are here saying itās hard to give advice to this, and while thatās true, this post isnāt looking for advice, theyāre wondering what the process was for those people who have already been through it.
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Omg. Blame the parent not the child 
. Just give up that easy?? Awful
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Things might be hard now but never give up on your child and never give up your rights to be his/her mum
You can get through this with the right supports in place. Never ever give your baby away
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To Some of you judgmental arse holesā¦the person didnāt ask what yāall think, They asked, if anyone has ever done such. No one on here knows the situation and if the OP doesnāt want to give details, they donāt have to. You either have, or know someone who has and can give advice on it. OR yāall can give words of encouragement and possibly advices on how to try not going that route. I personally would not give up my child, however , I have seen first hand where children are out of this world uncontrollable to near killing and NO, it has nothing to do with the parent for that self righteous ass that said children behavior is a reflection of the parent. (4 kids and one is the absolute opposite and worst than the others and they are from the same parents. So not in all cases, a childās behavior is a reflection of their parent or surrounding. You sound very illiterate along with others on here)ā¦Every person is not the same, not everyone has the capacity to deal with certain things. Whether children or life in general. Who to tell if the OP isnāt having personal mental issues etc. themselves . Most of these responses disgust me, straight up bullies. Atleast this person is considering options as opposed to committing murder, as most people have been doing.
If anyone was unaware, incorrigible means ānot able to be corrected, improved, or reformed.ā So clearly, these parents have tried multiple routes and see this as the only option. How dare those of you who are immediately calling her horrible when this parent is turning to us for help and advice. Instead of attacking someone who clearly feels stuck and at a dead end, try making helpful suggestions. You arenāt going to make them feel any better by calling them horrible things.
Has anyone considered the fact the kid might be killing animals, family pets, trying to harm siblings? Trying to harm his/her parents? Ever heard of āMary Bellā? If not look her up. There are truly evil kids in this world in need of serious rehabilitation. And honestly? Even with excellent health insurance and medical recommendations this stuff isnāt taken very seriously.
We are supposed to be a VILLAGE and this individual is reaching out to us for help and all most of you are doing is calling her a piece of shit.
OP I have no advice, but I am sorry youāre going through this if in fact it is a worst case scenario situation. I hope that whatever you end up choosing as a family works out in the best way possible for your family and that child
Um, they donāt just let you sign off your rights. If you turn your kids over to cys in PA or they take your kids the state gets child support and the parents are required to still provide health insurance if theyāre working. Cys will have you jailed if you just refuse to work to pay the support. I had to fight so hard to TAKE my parents rights because the state wants theirs. I mean, my case was back before you could just drop babies at hospitals or fire departments and never look back though, so who knows in todayās age.
I took custody of a child who went through this. What made it worse was the āparentsā giving her up had adopted her to begin with. The child likely hasnāt been disciplined properly or thereās underlying issues such as some kind of mental health issue or generally feeling like no one loves them. The girl I took felt unloved and unwanted. Iām sure you can imagine it made her feel worse to be given up again.
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Theyāre not āgivingā up their child, when your child is uncontrollable you TEMPORARILY āsignā over rights to the state so they can help get your child help, then you āgetā your child back after they have received help.
When you have a child who is doing and selling drugs, stealing your car when they are WAY under the legal driving age, sneaking out when you finally fall asleep, and youāre afraid for their life, they they will kill or be killed, whether by wrecking a car while intoxicated, by gun shot while selling drugs or buying drugs, and you donāt know what else to do, this is some peoples answer. I donāt understand why shame a parent if they need help? They arenāt actually signing over their parental rights or giving up on their child, they are fighting for their childās life at this point and itās sad
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Yes my grandmother did this donāt do it because it leaves the person feeling like s*** if you didnāt want the childish it and I had the baby in the first place kids are going to be hard to raise sometimes theyāre going to do things you donāt like thatās part of being a parent
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You donāt give up because there hard to control or not living up to your standards itās not a f****** piece of furniture
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Have you considered putting child in therapy there are many other options before you give away your child
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You are the scum of the earth just wow
I have anxiety and I have my good Days and bad days with my 6 year old but I would never think about giving her up sheās funny and Helpful
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I know someone who had to do this. They went to court to not so much give up parental rights, but to say they would no longer offer surety (Child was charged with theft and assault. It wasnāt the first court appearance). The child was then placed in a juvenile facility.
It wasnāt an easy decision, but after exhausting all avenues and having another family member hospitalized, they felt they had no choice.
Basically, you need to involve CAS and the courts.
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Maybe contact your county office, Dhr, cps,Dhs whatever itās called in your area Maybe they can guide you.
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Wtf have i just read?!
I wouldnāt even give up my dog this easy but here you are treating your kid as if itās just a hard to handle dog needing a new home.
If everyone gave up their child everytime they were disrespected weād all be orphans. Life can be tough but giving up your child will not make things easier. The feeling of abandonment would just cause more unnecessary trauma for them.
My son is non verbal and autistic so he gets quite frustrated when trying to express what hes needing seeing he cant/wont talk. Communication is hard on both sides. He hits me, bites me and has multiple meltdowns daily.
Iād never rehome him just because itās too hard though. Wtaf!!!
I think you need to look at why the kid is the way they are. Maybe thereās an underlying behavioral diaorder or developmental dissability. Or maybe theyāve had shit parents who didnāt listen to their needs/intervene when they couldāve 
Your childās a product of you so take a look at yourself when looking for someone to blame. This isnt your childās fault at all!
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You can pm if you need to reach out for support. I see so many judgemental people on here. But as a person who has been on many sides of this I can assure you I wonāt judge you. Iām here to support you. <3 many hugs and prayers or positive vibes for you.
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Talk to a lawyer thats all you can do . Nobody knows your situation. Some of us have kids that are little aholes but the child is in a detention center or foster care system due to there behavior however the parents still have custody but so does the courts. Good luck.
I canāt even. The parents need to be sent away
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Therapy might help but u completely understand how youāre feeling
My 8 year old is driving me up the wall and no matter what we do or say he doesnāt listen
He was evaluated and is ok just extremely naughty
At one point I wanted to drive out to the middle of nowhere and just leave him there
I completely understand how youāre feeling
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Have they checked to see if maybe the child has ODD?
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WOW, just WOW. Youāre talking about a human being here! Not a damn old car youāre trying to get rid of! You just donāt drop your child off when they arenāt being respectful and are uncontrollable. Thereās plenty of help out there for ppl going through things like this!
There is not a child on this earth who doesnāt want to ābe goodā. Bad behaviours is usually a sign of attention seeking and I would start by trying to find the root cause of the problem. Are they trying to connect? Do they have mental health issues that are causing poor decision making, have they suffered a significant loss or trauma? Abandoning a child when they are calling out for help will surely only amplify the issues.
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Not sure on what you have tried yet, but have you considered boot camp?
Iām gonna vomit. You donāt get to just kick them to the curb if things arenāt what you expected.
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I think there should be a service like respite for parents and children with specific diagnoses. Iām also unconventional and dumb about the legal process for that. In schools the guidance counselors seem to be the right answer. Try that resource and try new things. People underestimate intellect of children. There must be a direct influence for behaviors that are uncontrollable. Love is supposed to be unconditional so I would start working on your and your childās support system/ coping mechanisms and from what I see you ignore the negative commentary and you do the same with those uncontrollable headaches.
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This makes me so sad. 
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You donāt give up your child. Tf is wrong with you?
Because their ādisrespectfulā
Iād be willing to bet money that theyāre probably a teenager or preteen aswell.
Have you tried therapy? Impatient treatment? At home therapy? How about GETTING TO THE ROOT OF THE DAMN PROBLEM.
Theyāre a child- theyāre not going to just tell you whatās wrong. I know adults that still get an attitude because their going thru a rough time. Give the kid a break and be there for them.
No wonder theyāre disrespectfulā¦ you want to give them up at the first sign of disobedience. Theyāre a SMALL HUMAN WITH MOUNTAINS FOR EMOTIONS- THEYāRE NOT A ROBOT.
If you didnāt want a living breathing child with human emotions and feelings and trying to blindly (since youāre obviously not helping them) find their way thru childhood and into adulthood. Then you shouldnāt of laid down and made the child.
If you really believe you canāt give the child what they need- then yes, turn them over and let someone else step up in your place.
But it doesnāt seem like the issue is the child.
I have 3 boys & the one who gets the most attention is the one I canāt handle 
nothing works with some kidsā¦he will throw his toys away, bring me his iPad, go sit his self in the corner. He doesnāt care about the consequences. He is still going to break things & do whatever he wants to do, when he wants to do itā¦ Now, the other two will cry if you get loud. Some kids are just wired different, I guess. I always tell myself it will get better but seeing other momās posts gives me no hope
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This isnāt my post, and Iām far from being ready to give up on my child but as a parent of a mentally unstable, defiant teenager who suffers from PTSD, bipolar, split personality and odd, I can understand how you can get to this point. To those who are judging, Fuck off. You have NO idea how hard it can be. My child has beat the shit outta me, while I could do nothing. She told the state police to their face to fuck off. She has missed 21 days of school bc I canāt physically make her go. As a parent you have so little control. I have put her through many programs, tried multiple counselors and tried meds but she refuses to take them, and refuses to open up about her abuse in the pastā¦ I have other children who have watched her beat on me, and now they are starting to follow suit. Iāve called dcs, Iāve done everything I could to try to get her help and nothing has worked yet. My point in this is that we donāt know what this parent has gone through. We donāt know there arenāt circumstances that are making it necessary for this to be what she feels is best. Sometimes itās not just that they donāt want their child but all other options exhausted and the parent did all they could. Children are hard, mental instability can make things seem impossible. I know how hard this can be and I know the feeling of wanting so badly to just give up. I will not, by personal choice but I cannot help but feel for this parent and hope my situation can make others judge a little less
i could never give up on my kids no matter how ādisrespectfulā or nuances they were. At worst i got respite for the odd break because i had four on my own with a violent hubby. of course my kids misbehaved ā¦ sometimes the police were involvedā¦ but i never gave up on them no matter how bad things could get especially my youngestā¦ he came at me with a machete onceā¦ i had to push him out the doorā¦ we tried to get to the bottom of his violent outbursts etcā¦ stillā¦ never gave up on him. we got help. Three years ago i lost my youngest daughter in a sudden traumatic way. I would do anything to have one more hour with herā¦ giving up on your children is just something i can never understand.
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Sounds like a teenager maybe ? Hey if itās really that bad. Find help and get them out of your house. There has been so many cases of crazy teens being absolute nightmares to their parents who refuse help AND and the end they end up killing their parents/caregivers because they are uncontrollable. If you have tried your best and nothing is being done PLEASE GET HELP AND TRY FINDING OUT OF THIS SITUATION no parent should live in fear of what their child may do. Try filling reports everytime a dangerous situation escalates call the cops make them come to the house. Call cps make reports please protect your self.
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What Country/State/Region are you from? Iāll find out the steps/process for you tomorrow.
If youāre so far that youāre truly willing to give up your childā¦ then I think itās definitely something you should do for the best interest of the childās future!!
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Kids are Human, and theyāre a direct reflection of you. What you teach, what you allow, and if the child needed psychological help thatās on you as well. You literally rehomed your Child like an unwanted pet. I feel like you should have been aware of the Human condition and how children are before carrying out a pregnancy. On top of that youāre on a forum asking us questions instead of calling the appropriate places and finding resources. Youāre clearly lazy af, and have done irreparable damage.
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So hear we go once again judging a parent.
Ask your self these questions!
Are we in that parents shoes?
Is that child doing harm to them self or someone else?
Is there something mentally wrong with the child?
Is this child crying out for help and all resources are finally?
Can she pay or get the state to help?
Is she a single parent?
Does she hold a full time job or multiple jobs?
Does that child run away?
Is this the last hope this parent has to save her child?
How dare you self righteous parents judge someone else!
If you think your backyard isnāt full of shit look again parent!
It takes a village and apparently you arenāt in that village!
So sit your sorry ass down!
Just promise one thing, if you give your child up because itās to hard DO NOT EVER have more children thinking you can do better next time. Chances are you canāt and when things get to hard youāll just give up again.
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I would try family therapy first. Psychologist. Your child is worth every single effort to figure out whatās going on.
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I went to court & got a special order that says she had to behave ā a run away & hanging with the wrong crowd ā worked ok for awhile & she broke the rules ā called police to pick her up & she ended up in a teen with problems program ā so glad she finally grew up
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I see you, mama.
Iāve thought about either taking a temporary step back or checking into a psych hospital because Iām at the edge too.
Iām a single mom without support, and I work upwards of 15-hour days (with them since I donāt have a sitter), and itās exhausting, especially throwing in my oldestās behavioral issues. We both trigger tf out of each other, which doesnāt help.
I started going to therapy, but Iāve been going off and on for nearly 13 years. 
I figured an alive mom is better than an unalive one, and the stress of it all is absolutely crushing to deal with every day without getting a breather, and my chronic illness has just gotten worse because of it all.
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Sounds like ODD (oppositional defiance disorder). They have some traits that are extremely hard to navigate. They need therapy to help them through this.
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Iād deff check into therapies / doctor. Could very well be adhd or odd. And with the right therapies and medicine their life can be totally turned around.
The only times Iāve seen that personally is when one sibling SA another
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I had one like that. I managed live through it, my other child barely managed, my marriage barely, we split up later. I probably should have let juvenile court have him when he got into trouble, but I fought for him. Heās got 2 known grown kids, the oldest committed suicide after he, showed up and meddled in his life.
Heās narcissistic and yes, I tried to get him help.
We have no relationship now, I could not handle him disappearing for years then suddenly showing up when he wanted something. My mother tried to help him, even his sibling did. Iām sure many others got caught too. He doesnāt think about the problems heās caused nor does he care. Heās likable and smart, but only when it benefits him.
There should be no shame in giving up a child if you are not able to raise him. We talk encouragingly about adoption and giving up a child rather than abortion.
If you canāt deal with him give him up to someone who wants to. He may respond to them. Otherwise your whole family suffers and he looses too. Good luck.
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My mother did this to my 10 year old brother. He died 9 years later.
Itās a big decision so look carefully into your options. My little brother deserved so much more in life. ADHD was not diagnosed well in the 80ās. He was murdered and something I have never forgiven my mother for. She gave up on a 10 year child.
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You get through it because itās your child. You chose to lay down and carry that baby who is now a child who needs to be taken care of. Go get yourself some help mentally and maybe check him/her into a psych center too. You may be overly stressed or your kid may have mental health issues. I had a friend whoās brother has always been defiant and chased me with a knife. No matter how many times he acted out, broke everything in his moms house, windows, etc. she didnāt give up on him. The main thing is your kid didnāt chose to live, you brought them into this earth and now because they are bad, you want to not be a parent anymore? Not really how that works. You think thereās problems now. I wonder the abandonment they will feel whenever you give your flesh and blood away to foster care or wherever they go. My advice would be get both of you some help and counseling. Donāt be afraid to check your child in somewhere if their behavior is erratic. Look up the hospitals in your area that help with whatever age group and try some meds. Both of you.
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Donāt ruin your.kids life
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You know what I feed my cats? Karenās who get mad about what others do with their cats lol
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I donāt agree with giving up on your child, but this Mama came here for some help so letās have a little compassion! Please try everything you possibly can, because you will regret it! Good luck! 
For your family
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Well lots of people donāt know you can do that on a temporary basis. Sometime the state has more resources when thereās no way for the child to manipulate themselves out of the situation. I donāt think people may understand where youāre coming from. Wether I agree or not I know there can be serious legal consequences for parents of unruly children. I know someone who literally cannot financially afford to send her child to juvie. $125 a day and if you donāt pay it they come looking for you; now youāre being held in contempt of court and getting a jail bill on top of it plus court costs all because your child wants to do whatever they want whenever they want. If she doesnāt figure out how to pay for it she could lose her other kids because she ends up in jail over her kid acting a fool.
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My friend went thru some rough stuff with her child, and said child was institutionalized, not allowed to return home afterā¦ However I donāt know the process beyond it being a pretty serious situation that took a lot of legalities and paperwork.
Listenā¦ Some people donāt understand that there are situations where you have to do things like this to protect your other children, family members, the child in question, etcā¦ All the tough love in the world isnāt going to stop a mentally disturbed child from doing terrible things at times. Please ignore the haters.
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My cousin was removed from her mother and she is now completely uncontrollable. The system is a joke and abusive. It is the last thing i would recommend, there is help out there. Just do the homework.
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Iām not in your shoes and pray I never feel that way. That being said, all I can think of to say is what Iād do in this situation. Someone said you got the child helpā¦ but did you get yourself help? Being a mother is hard. Itās completely unforgiving and thereās little to no support. Maybe if you found yourself a support system it may make things easier on you and then easier with your child? Either way, I hope you figure this out.
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Are you serious? Idc this is your child!!! My 7 year old is a nightmare, adhd odd, itās hard everyday with him, but you know, no matter hard it is I just gotta suck up and be his mother and give him unconditional love and just pray for better day for him. NEVER GIVE UP YOUR BABY!!!
Children will b unruly. They will test your limits n push boundaries. U are his mama and there is obviously something going on with him that u canāt see. U need 2 search your child and figure out what they need. U need 2 give yourself a break 2 so u arenāt always clashing and can keep a strong steady head on your shoulders. Therapy 4 both can do so much. Kids are hard but please donāt give up on your child and yourself as a mother. They need you.
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Put them in cal Farleyās boys and girls ranch NOW donāt sign over your rights
Iām here to pass absolutely no judgement. There are times when giving a child up for a possible better chance than you at life comes way after their birth. I used to work as a case worker and saw a case just like this. Her oldest daughter was the āblack sheepā. She had a different dad than her 3 younger siblings and absolutely couldnāt stand her mom and step dad. She was always perfectly fine in school and for me, but for her parents, she was a nightmare. Her mom finally threw her hands up and gave up her rights. The girl was 16. Again, sometimes itās whatās best for everyone.
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What could Happen to your child in the system is disgusting donāt put them through that. Also until he is adopted you have to pay child support. Find help another way they just giving him away to monsters. And i didnāt hear one good reason why you would even ask this.
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Yes maāam after 5 years in dealing with courts , dcs, doctors and schools.
At 16 years old , he took a swing at me , called me several not so nice names. He broke out a window with his fist lied to courts. His dad my ex backed him. Gave judge his phone with nude pic of minors drugs , cigarettes. Told Judge he could do it at her house. Walked out . Next time I contacted him he was 18. Texted him happy birthday.
He was sleeping in a storage shed ,with clothes for a pallet, weekly rental. I helped him help himself . He is now married and I have a wonderful 10 year old grandson. No I didnāt bring him home at 18 . I helped him get in a menās shelter I didnāt know him
Check out Perform Care, they provide support services at your home
Tempting isnāt it. Itās easy to get emotional about this type of situation, also easy to judge. Go to child services and explain your situation. They will put you in touch with the right people. Good luck
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This mother is asking for support. I agree that she has run out of all options which is why she is asking for guidance and a solution for her family. Trying to salvage what she has left of a family. Trying to get peace. Trying to help the child even if she has to allow others to step in and parent the child. Itās a humbling decision. Itās heartbreaking and a a cry for relief of heartbreak.
Itās not always the parents fault. Sometimes itās out of control and a Oppositional Defiant Disorder situation that is only getting worse by not letting go of the reigns.
Be kind and supportive. It takes extreme bravery and courage to do what she has to do. Many are not in this situation and donāt know what it takes to relinquish parental rights to extremely disrespectful children, difficult issues.
I support her.
You go to court and file to relinquish parental rights.
If your in a shared custody then I would file to modify custody and parenting time. Give all rights to other parent. If thereās an option where a family member would take over guardianship that would be great.
Coming from my own situation where I have two children who constantly need gifts to act right. Who have gotten gifts to report falsely to dhs by their dad they now work the system. Who have tried to put criminal charges on me and my husband on false claims. Who has beat up their dad and broken a bone on my body when they are angry and donāt get their way. Threatens with knives towards their other siblings, continue to report falsehoods on us when ever we reach out to express comfort, care, guidance-even just txt them. Has ruined a prior relationship I had and almost sabotaged my current relationship with all the drama and lies they do, colluding with their father to ruin lives. no counseling, biblical scripture, praying, mentorship, guidance, grounding, chores, one in one chats, reward system with good behavior has worked to resolve this situation. It only gets worse, with more manipulation and lies and when they got caught of their scandals then more defiance occurs. Refuse to even see or speak any family and their grandma. Refuses to come to my parenting time to follow court order. and they report falsely to dhs when ever we tell them no, or take electronics away or try to pick them up for parenting time. Going on for many years without improvement. Beside the $50,000 spent on court and attorney fees to save them to save myself from the damage they and their father have caused, Becuz of their scandals I lost custody and cannot put them in counseling. Their Dad refuses to put them in counseling. Their goal is to put us in prison and have us removed from their siblings lives. They are under 12 yrs old. Its astounding the evil that has evolved out of young children. Itās incredibly heartbreaking. Itās pure vengeful sabotage and the only way it stops is to shut down all parenting and communication. Even to the point of relinquish parental rights to finally make the nightmare stop May be needed.
Maybe when they are older they will mature and change. Itās going to take a different influence to put them on the right path. Becuz the current plan is not working. And heartbreak can kill you. You still need to live on for those that truly love you respect you and are your family. Truth is parenting ODD children hasnāt worked for most of their lifetime. When their is no moral compass it becomes a sociopath/psychpath situation that is unbearable for any who have dealt with.
It doesnāt mean you ever stop loving the child/ren. You love so much, you love your other children so much, itās ok to love yourself too, and to salvage your marriage. Salvage your self worth. Its ok to want to salvage what is still standing. Point is to not completely lose everything and everyone in the process of parenting one defiant child. Itās extremely toxic and that is why itās ok to breathe and let go.
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Kids arenāt objects to get rid of when you canāt handle being a parent. Nobody is born knowing how to parent. I bet your own parents at one point thought they couldnāt handle raising you but they didnāt just got rid of youā:roll_eyes:instead they kept you and TRIED
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I think maybe you should seek counselling for the child. I was an out of control teenager. I sneaked out, did drugs and drank alcohol, smoked cigarettes, had sexual relations at a very young age. I was acting out because I was hurting and I didnāt know what to do about it. I wasnāt trying to be horrible to my mother, I was just dealing with too much for my young brain to cope with.
Seek help for your child, giving them up will only worsen their mental state.
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I personally have not dealt with this but I have friends that are. The path thatās available to you may be limited bc of the age of your child. I suggest you reach out to your local child and youth services, hospital, Pediatrician etc.
big hugs 
Iām sorry people canāt even try to understand. It sounds like youāre exploring a path for the safety and well being of you and your child
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