As hard as it is . LEAVE his sorry ass . Once a cheater always one . He’s not worth loosing YOURSELF over
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I agree, you have to get past the want of making it work and get the hell out of that relationship. You honestly will never feel that same way about him no matter how hard you try, and in my personal experience he will cheat again and even stop caring if you know about it. You deserve better and I hope you never forget that!
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I found the messages between my fiancé and other girls while he was out of town. He left his Apple Watch at home and I heard it keep going off and looked and there was all these girls he was talking to. Telling them he didn’t have a girlfriend and didn’t have any kids (even though he has a kid). He begged for me back and I told him he has to work for my trust and everything back.
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Leavvvveeee
For real, someone that cares about you would not have done that to you. He just doesn’t want to lose what he has & is just upset he got caught.
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Once a cheater always a cheater!!
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He’ll cheat again but be better at getting away with it.
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I was in a relationship for 11 years, I stayed everytime he did it. Then we got married had our daughter, when she was 8 months old I found out he did it again, and this time I left. Havent looked back, best decision I ever made.
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Only you know what you really want to do, but know your worth. Would you want your daughter to stay with a man who cheated on her? If the answer is no, then leave.
My now husband but at the time boyfriend cheated on me while I was pregnant with my first child with him. I stayed because I was 19 and deathly scared of being a single parent. That being said, he hasn’t cheated since, I finally trust him again after three years, we have our third child on the way… and I married him. All of these comments could be true because if he gets away with it this time he might do it again, I was beyond scared of that, that being said he hasn’t. People can change, my husband has fought VERY hard for my trust back and finally earned it again. It was hard to work through and get over and I still check his phone randomly to see if he is being sneaky. But remember one thing if you decide to stay is that you chose to stay so you either stay and work on it and not constantly get upset over it over and over again or leave.
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Leave and never look back! Once they’ve done it once and you allow it they will do it again and unfortunately this may not be the first time. Been there got the T-shirt respect yourself and show your daughter what your worth and don’t settle for anything less otherwise she will grow up to do the same. Be strong 
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I’ve been with mine 20 years it took 13 to be completely faithful and him becoming a Christian we have 5 kids and moved to another state. But I don’t condone it and trust me I broke a lot of his things and kicked him out multiple times but it’s a personal decision and it will take therapy and time if you stay
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Yep for 8 months until we Separated n then he admitted it .
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If you decide to stay marriage couseling snd personal couseling will be a must. If he can’t agree to that…roll out!
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Get your name taken off the credit cards and vehicles tomorrow. Go to the bank and take the money out. Leave like $5 in the accounts. Go straight to a divorce attorney. Get your name taken off the house loan during the divorce.
He’s crying because he got caught. Once a cheater, always a cheater.
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I stayed w my ex after i found out he cheated for my daughter. I began to hate him. I couldn’t stand for him to look or touch me. I finally left when i began to think of ways to kill him or hope he would get into an accident & die.
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I stayed and stuck it out for 7 years. I wish I hadn’t wasted so much time and caused myself so much hurt… leave, you deserve better and you’re teaching him it’s okay to disrespect you. He will just feel comfortable now, knowing you’ll forgive him and stay.
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Forgiving that kind of betrayal and staying shows the person you’re with that there is nothing they can do to you that you wouldn’t forgive. Trust is very important and once broken cannot be mended the same. We will always remember. Always. It’s like this also…there are two kinds of people. The people who fuck up and realize their mistake and truly change and the people who fuck up and start a pattern of temporary normal until they fuck up again. Saying this that still doesn’t bring back the trust that was lost. That person may change but he/she will do better with the next and so will you. It’s hard to accept but sometimes people are in our lives temporarily. They teach us a lesson we need to learn and that is how we grow into the person we are meant to be. Good luck love, I stayed too long and I wish I would have left from day 1.
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So I stayed with my now ex when he cheated on me. We had been together for 3 years &when I found out I was so broken about it. I forgave him and all that. The whole next year it was just toxic. If he came home an hour late or if he didn’t text me back right away my mind would automatically go to “oh he’s cheating again” it was sooo hard to let it go. I realized that I could never trust him again, and I obviously hadn’t forgiven him, and it was eating me up inside. I had to let go of that relationship. Later on I found out that he cheated on me multiple times even after he swore he’d only done it once &after he swore up and down it would never happen again.
I’m sorry you’re going through this, I hope that whatever you choose to do you do it because it’s what you truly want.
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If the papers are in your name, your the one with kids, why should you leave? I would get everything you need and hire a lawyer just to be safe because I learned the hard way.
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He’s not sorry he cheated. He’s sorry he got caught. There’s a difference.
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Mine cheated with my best friend then i slept with one his dudes so I guess we cancelled each other out 15 years and 3 kids later still together its all on you nobody can tell you what to do hun
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What would you tell your daughter to do?
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You have to decide what example you want to set for your child/children. Do you want them to see you as a strong, independent single parent, or do you want them to grow up thinking that a dysfunctional relationship built on lies and deceit is ‘normal’ and ‘acceptable?’
It’s not easy to leave, but it may be the best decision EVER!
Been there, done that.
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After knowing what he has done. Would you ever be able to trust him again? That’s the big question because if you can’t trust him, you shouldn’t be with him. It will make you miserable if you stay and constantly checking his stuff and wondering if he is or isn’t cheating. Trust is so easily broken but so very hard to gain back. You can’t control what he is going to do. You can only control your actions and what you are willing to put up with. I would really think hard on this. We all deserve to be with someone we can trust, who we respect and who would trust and respect us back.
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this thread makes me sad honestly why do men treat women like this especially why is this so common ive been through hell and makes me want to be alone forever . i seen married men i know on tinder looking for booty calls not to mention what ive been through 
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Stayed for 3 years. Worst decion I’ve ever made.
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Ask him if you can provide him what he’s looking for in others. Clearest path I can see. It’s one of the primary reason anyone, male and female alike, does look elsewhere. Think about that. Especillay if you’re seriously considering staying.
Mine cheated and left me with a special needs son and after a week called me crying and he wanted to come back home and I took him back but the road was very hard I had no trust and was always just watching him eventually we were able to get to a better place but it was hard but I loved him and didn’t want to be apart. We eventually didn’t last because he decided to start drinking again and that was always a problem for him and eventually I put him out because I was just done with everything. He is always telling me he is sorry but he is still drinking and I refuse to deal with him because of that. He did a lot of messed up things while drink and I can’t forgive him for that so we co parent our son and that is all we do
Yes I have been cheated on and no I did not stay and no, I have never regretted leaving.
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I will preface this by saying that only you know your relationship and only you can make that decision.
One (of the many) cheating experiences I had -
I found out my daughter’s father (then BF) was cheating on me by finding a sex tape of him and his now wife when I was 35 weeks pregnant. We immediately split.
Long story short- I’m very glad we did because, while he and I are fairly good place in terms of co parenting, I have not fully trusted a single word that has come out of his mouth since the day I found the video. And it has proven to be the best decision I’ve ever made (for myself and for my kid), because the lies - and subsequently the truth - have been on a steady roll ever since.
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Yes and honestly it’s the worst thing I ever did
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Look at your daughter and ask yourself what you would tell her. Because I’d tell my daughter to run as fast as she can.
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I am still with my husband, he cheated 5 years ago, and it definitely wasn’t easy. The trust was broken. It’s gotten easier and we are happily together today. But it’s entirely up to you
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Nope. I couldn’t stay with someone who doesn’t love me. If he cheated, he doesn’t love you sis.
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Its very hard…trust is lost and even if you think you can forgive him you never forget. You may always ask yourself what you did to deserve that but it wasnt you at all. I would recommend therapy for just you and maybe couples if thats what you really want.
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My boyfriend of 4 years moved out out of the blue one day last week and has been staying at an ex’s house since. Found out Not only did he cheat on her their whole relationship, she’s been the other woman most of ours, and a few too many other things that are just horrible. I’m beyond disgusted. If I ever see him again I can’t promise I’ll control my actions and for his “ex” he’s back with she’s obviously a sorry excuse for a woman!
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I could never stay with a cheater. No trust. It would never work in the long run
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Know your worth! You deserve better sorry mama
Please … just leave.
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Yes. And it happened again. Go figure. I ended up divorcing him. 2 children. 1 miscarriage. Remarried but did not have any more children.
It’ll always be in the back of your mind every time he runs late, or gets a random text. He may cheat again, too. I suggest counseling for anyone in this position. Also, don’t be fooled into thinking if you choose to stay now, that you can’t leave in a few months, or years either. Gather your thoughts. Makes plans. Focus on YOU and your daughter. You don’t have a timeline for deciding whether it’ll work out or not.
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I hate to be the one to break the bad news, but chances are if you don’t leave he will do it again. What you allow, will continue! I’d be out 
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Leave. Will never get better will donit again. Its ruined
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Yes but 11 years I just couldn’t throw everything away can’t say I have been an angel the whole time either
They did it once, they’ll keep doing it over and over again. Make HIM leave. You keep your home. It belongs to your daughter. It’s the roof over her head. 
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No ma’am.
I can deal with a lot, things won’t always be sunshine and roses and I get accidents happen but you don’t accidentally trip and fall into a vagina 
I can’t forgive intentionally disrespect.
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He’s not crying because he’s sorry, he’s crying because he got caught.
If he was actually that devastated about what he had done, you wouldn’t have found out on your own.
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The paramount issue is the juxtaposition of loyalty, fidelity and respect with anything material.
A house devised will not stand, your daughter is far more intellectually mature than you give her credit for.
Seeing you being disrespected and betrayed will adversely affect her far more than the heartbreak of severing ties with an emotional, psychological abuser and cheater will inconvenience you.
Based on your synopsis you will stay and in doing so you will unequivocally confirm to your significant other that you are not to be take seriously and or respected.
I type all of that to say this, in the words of the immortal Maya Angelou…
“When people show how they are, believe them. People know themselves much better than you do. That’s why it’s important to stop expecting them to be something other than who they are”.
Now get out there and demand, claim and take your respect from this undeserving cretin.
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Leave… He cheated. Don’t teach your daughters to accept being treated that way. If he loved you he would have chose you from the start.
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I heard an interesting quote. One time is a mistake, anything after that is a choice. He chose to continue to make those decision regardless of how he knew it would make you feel and how he knew those decisions would affect your family and relationship in general. I always say, they are never sorry they did it. They are always sorry they got caught.
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You leave?? No way! You kick his sorry ass to the curb and you stay in the house. And you get a court order to make him pay child support and give you money for the house.
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I took him back then he cheated again with the same bruja then left me for her … They were both in trouble big time a year later she turned States evidence on him he is doing 80 yrs she is free living her life… Sad but karma is a real thing . She will get hers too.
So my husband cheated on me 4 years ago and swore it was a mistake & would never happen again & keep in mind he never even slept with the woman he just had inappropriate conversations with her that could have potentially ended up in him sleeping with her had I not caught him. Now fast forward to this year September 2020 I caught him again shocking 
I know 
this time he slept with this woman. So now I’m just bitter and sad and lost but once a cheater always a cheater 
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My ex cheated on me multiple times, multiple woman (the ones I KNOW about). If I could go back, I would have walked away and not let myself ever feel it was my fault and did something wrong. He was just a compulsive lying, cheating piece of trash and always will be. The first time I’m aware of was while I was pregnant with his son and we’d been together for 2 years. I stayed 3 more years.
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Can you trust him again, completely…
You arent married…leave him…or better yet kick him out…is it his kid…sorry but if you cant trust him now you never will…
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Ask yourself this question. The way you feel over the next week. Cause if it just happened your in shock still. Is that how you want to live the rest of your life? Because it will fade at times but it always comes back. Something triggers you or he says something or he’s acting short or he has to go out of town. I could go on but you get the point. I was with my husband my entire life. Never another man. When we were very young he cheated twice. I “stayed for the kids” 29 years later I divorced him because I caught him in an emotional affair (all I could prove). I lived miserable in silence all those years for him to turn around and do it again. My children are now 23,20,13 and each of them expressed to me lately that they wished I would have left when they were young so they could have had a happy mom. If that don’t tell u I don’t know what will.
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I did. For 5 long years, and the cheating didn’t end up stopping. Waste of time for sure!
You say “has been” as if it was not a one time thing. If it’s been a repetitive thing, then he’s absolutely not sorry for doing it, he’s just sorry that he got caught. Kick his ass out.
I went back after he cheated! I thought I could forgive, but that is just not something you get over! I couldn’t anyway. The relationship was never the same and I couldnt waste my life with no trust. It really ended up being the best thing for the kids too. I felt strength in showing my kids that loyalty is important.
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He knows you are someone he CAN cheat on and have no consequences, why would he stop? He can have his cake and eat it too. I know YOU love him and want it to work, but HE doesn’t love or respect you, if he did he wouldn’t have cheated on you. Sorry to be so blunt be that’s the fact of the matter.
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You take him back he’ll do it again because you’ve set the bar on what you’ll accept.
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Takes a deep breath…
Sooooo, my, (happily ex wife), cheated. I knew she was inherently a selfish and self centered person when we met as teenagers, however, like most virgins, I romanticized at the notion of “saving the fractured princess”.
Long story short, we got married three years in she fell for the okey-doke, and “allegedly” semi-slept with her boss… (I’ll expound later), confessed, wanted to work it out with me, found out boss man was banging another employee and after she informed him she was staying with me and rebuffed future advances, was summarily fired.
(Interlude) “semi-slept with”. According to my ex, they “started”, however, she ALLEGEDLY, stopped him out of “guilt and him being small”. (circa 1998ish).
Fast forward 2006, divorced and living my life, I would drive from Fort Sill to San Antonio to see my kiddos, Super X in her words later admitted she would break up with her BF so she could spend time with me, they argued about me often, (according to her).
Spoiler alert she left him years ago.
Fast forward 2020, Super X texts me “about the kids” often, however, the convo always diverges to her, plight, grievances and lot in life. As recently as a few months ago she was habitually “checking on me”, even though I know her BF at the time was incredibly jealous, especially as it relates to her ex’s, me in particular.
I would constantly redirect the conversation when it drifted away from the children, to which she eventually reacted negatively to my Queen and I’s marriage, took offense and eventually ended up not contacting me anymore and marrying jealous guy.
They live at separate addresses and she allegedly has “special friends” outside the marriage.
I type all of that to say this, a disloyal person is at their core disloyal.
A cheater is a cheater.
A dishonorable person has no honor, ergo, will never honor you.
Better to be an emotional wreck now, rebuild and renew and find someone who honors you now… than 10-20 years from now.
The End.
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answer me this… if you accidentally without knowing put your hand on a scorching frying pan and pulled your hand off it as fast as you can due to the pain, would you put it back?
shitty out come but even shittier if you stay with him just like if you kept your hand on the stove while on
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I stayed 7 years too long. Get out now. Taking him back makes it easier for him the next time (in his mind)
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Can you spend the next 6 years going through it again?
It is never a mistake you don’t accidentally fall into someone’s vagina or onto someone’s dick you choose too.
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IT’S OKAY TO STAY - Healing After Infidelity i belong to this group it might help
Once a cheater, always a cheater, learnt that the hard way.
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A cheater can change but only if the person chooses to…
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Although…I dont agree with the cheating…if relationships were based & judged on no screw ups or mistakes…No relationship would ever last. You need need to go with your heart & honestly people cant give you your answer
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I did stay… and I regret it so hard… I used to be the person who would always talk about second chances and having to work hard on relationships… but no. Not anymore. In fact I see how society has wired our minds to think we have to stay… you deserve better… sending you so much love.
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Have sex with him. Picture him getting all freaky with her… if you can handle that then stay. If you can’t you know what to do but definitely don’t loose your dignity in the process. He doesnt give a shit about you. If he did he wouldn’t even ponder a thought about another woman.
Also you say he has been cheating meaning it’s an ongoing thing. So he just slips into vaginas regularly. By mistake. Now he’s crying coz he got caught not because he loves you.
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Once a cheater always a cheater .
If he cheated the whole time you two were together . He ain’t going to change . In my experience is if he breaks your trust get out and start over with someone new. Best of luck to u listen to your gut . If your gut saying break it off then it’s the best thing u can do .
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Here’s what I have to say …
My girlfriend in high school would take back her cheating ex constantly . HE is the one who told me that he stayed with her and kept cheating because she allowed it and would always take him back.
And that day , I learnt that you put up with what you allow to happen .
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I stayed with my husband after he had an affair and it was hard for years to gain back the trust. But we’re back to a trusting place in our relationship 7 years later.
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If you take him back again. He will do it again 100% . He might be sneakier next time.
Either way the trust is gone. How can you trust him . Do you want to live like that for the rest of your life?
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I made the decision to stay with my man after he had a 3 year affair. It’s been hard, he kept up the lies and the affair for a long time.
Some days I wish I left when I found the other phone the first time. I know he got me pregnant to trap me to stay.
We are trying to rebuild our family and our relationship and it’s hard as fuck.
He’s lied a lot, still talk to her a lot and broke my heart a lot. He dose not deserve me but we are trying to rebuild.
Sometimes I believe once a cheater, always a cheater. I stay because I want to help him get better. But in the end it’s up to them to
Make things right. I still don’t trust him. And that’s what makes our relationship the hardest.
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Is he sorry he did it or sorry you found out?.Was this with the one person or several ?.I believe some people do genuinely regret their mistakes but did the cheating stop because he stopped it or because you found out and would it still be going on if you hadn’t found our?.If it would ,then I would call it a day and mo e on .He dies t deserve you.
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Once, ok I can understand trying to work things out. A full on affair no it’s time to go… if you choose to stay short leash. Check phone including the bill, no personal facebooks ect, individual and marriage counseling
Cheating on you once or a few times his begging you because u put a roof over his head u have his child if he loved you he would never have cheated and it will happen again he will hide it better.
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Find a man that loves you! And wouldn’t dream of cheating on you! Know your worth! Take care XX
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His sorry he got caught guilty concious
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I let it go. 9 years together. 2 kids… it’s something about getting cheated on that changes the dynamics of a relationship. no matter how hard you try, you’ll never view that person the same and you might even view yourself differently. But only YOU will know if and when u have reached a point of no return or if you can trust him again. For me, I just came to the conclusion he didn’t respect me or the family we created enough to stop the BS. Respect means so much! It’s kinda what loyalty is based around…and once I gained respect for MYSELF, that’s when I knew, it was a wrap for me…Remember this saying, “you’ll never be good enough to the wrong person”… Good luck to you!
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It can be done, but you should seek out relationship counseling, cheating is usually a symptom of deeper issues that need to be addressed.
Yeah I did, and it carried on for another 2 years, every couple of months I’d find out it was still happening, we’d have a massive argument, he’d cry and I’d convince myself that things were going to change. They don’t.
I left him when our son was 3 months old and now he’s 17 months and me and his dad get on civil now
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I would leave. I’d never see my partner the same way again if he did that to me…
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Why torture yourself? You deserve a real man. Dump him.
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Never stay with a cheater. To many sexually transmitted diseases out there. Be smart get rid of him.
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Personally I’d leave the trust is gone.
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I stayed… he did it again
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I understand the love you have for him girl, been there, done that. But he’s trying to have his cake & eat it too. You say it’s ongoing, once then maybe there’s a chance but he’s just doing it without thinking about you for a second. People fall out of love just as easily as they fall in love, I hate to say that I really do but it seems like he’s reached that point where he’s not in love with you so he doesn’t care about his actions affecting you. And the crying wanting you back is allllll fake af!! Hes only crying because he got caught up, not because he’s actually sorry and cares about you. Also, you don’t wanna teach your daughter that getting cheated on is okay do you?
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The crying is because he got caught. If you didnt catch him, he’d still be doing it to you x
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Let him go! It will never be the same now…
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Once a cheater always a cheater
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I’d be leave him noway would I be moving in with him after that!
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I walked away ,6 months old little boy started again. I can forgive but not forget xx
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I stayed before. I don’t think he cheated again… but I could never trust and eventually left because I could never love him the same…
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I would leave. WHY? Because the thought in the back of my head knowing he cheated is just repugnant 
knowing he slept with someone else and had the nerve to do it while being together is unacceptable. It’s the principle, the self respect, the dignity for myself to leave and there is no turning back… JUST MY OPINION and what I would DO! But to each of their own.
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