No GOOD parent wants to do that to their kid. We dont wanna make them sad. We only want them happy! BUTTTTTT the goal of raising kids is making them into good adults in the real world. If we allow them to be disrespectful/bad/do what they want, without discipline, Theyre not going to be very good adults. I have never taken christmas/Santa away but i would if needed. And hope and pray my kid learns.
9 Likes
My mum knows someone who did give their kid coal as he was really bad one year. It wasn’t just misbehaving he got into quite a lot of trouble and it worked. He changed his ways and he’s actually become a great kid
4 Likes
I need to know the behavior. But overall if this is a all year round thing it should be handled all year. Not just for xmas
8 Likes
I might also add that the tradition of Santa can be devastating to kids whose parents are not able to shower them with gifts from him. They see what "Santa " has gotten for their friends and wonder why they didn’t get as many or any at all even though they are exceptionally well behaved and helpful. They begin to question if they are good. It can really wreak havoc on a child self esteem. Its really sad. #Santaisnotreal
5 Likes
Don’t use santa to punish your kids. Take away their video games and phone chargers. If they’re too young to have these things, then take their favorite toy… Whatever you’re doing clearly isn’t working. I find redirection works best. My kids act up when they’re hungry or bored. So I give them a snack and something constructive to do.
1 Like
I threaten it but I never follow thru. I wouldn’t have the heart to do that. Santa only lasts for so long and add on top of this year being an extra hard year for everyone, I wouldn’t take it away.
4 Likes
There is no Santa in my house to begin with!! Kids should only be able to get a away with so much, just cause life is rough doesn’t mean the kids should be able to get away with bad things!
17 Likes
Some of these comments got me feeling so bad for some kids. Hasn’t this year been hard enough on them? Its taken a mental toll on everyone nevermind a poor child. They don’t know how to cope with this messed up world. How bad could a child who still believes in Santa be ??? I would cut down but never take away completely.
39 Likes
Honestly, I think perpetuating the idea of Santa is not doing any favors to kids. They should know that you are the one who works hard to put gifts under the tree and that their behavior in your presence makes a difference in their presents.
9 Likes
Imma play devils advocate and say you know your kids better than anyone. If you feel it necessary as their parent and not the internet full of strangers, do what you feel is best.
4 Likes
Do you do the elf on the shelf? I would have santa write reminder/ warning letters that he’s watching & that he can see him misbehaving. So when my son looked for his elf he would see both his elf & Santa weren’t happy with his behavior. I wouldn’t personally take gifts away because Christmas is just as important to me as it is to him. However, I do like the coal in the stocking as a warning as well.
1 Like
I hate when I’m at the store and a child is acting up and the mom screams I’m calling Santa! The child cries even more. NO. you are responsible for your child and their behavior YOU are responsible for teaching them how to act at home and in public. We cry. We have bad days. We yell and throw things. Kids do too. Why should we expect them to be perfect humans when they have much less experience with life than we do and we still act like assholes half or most of the time. You teach them what they’re doing wrong and make it a learning experience not just take things from them. That doesn’t teach them anything. That’s just lazy parenting.
35 Likes
My 9 year old still believes in Santa. He asked for a VR headset. He broke his Nintendo switch the other day (again), in a fit of anger. I told him he couldn’t ask Santa for any electronics because he doesn’t know how to control his anger when he plays electronics. He wrote Santa a letter, apologizing and asked for something different
6 Likes
Don’t take away santa… discipline your children or take away your gifts. Santa shouldn’t be bringing all the gifts anyway. He should only bring a small gift.
7 Likes
You probably need to change how you discipline if you have to threaten to take away santa. I know some kids are really hard. I have 2 of my own 12 years apart. When disciplining you have to think about the kids emotional health too. There is something special about Christmas and Santa for a kid.
32 Likes
Nope. I don’t believe punishment does any good. Add in the level of resentment that would cause and double that no. Find out the reason for the behavior and address that. Kids act out because they are struggling with something.
35 Likes
So I always threaten with Santa but I never really take him away or not give presents lol queen of empty threats right here 
6 Likes
I like that thing that says wrap empty boxes and when your kid is bad, throw one in the fireplace. Try that 
7 Likes
Bag of marshmallows with this little poem! You’ve been bad so here’s the scoop. Santa brought you snowman poop!
7 Likes
When I started having kids my mom told me something one time and I’ve never forgotten…do not ever punish by taking away a family member or getting to experience a holiday like u normally would as punishment. You never know if or when it will be the last. Tomorrow isn’t promised for anyone
4 Likes
Have you called Santa. I used.to call up someone in cahoots with me and pretend that I had Santa on direct call. Put it on speaker and have said child on the room and start listing what’s happening and what Santa thinks should happen since they cannot behave. It worked everytime for all five of my kids.
2 Likes
My husband and I have officially made this Christmas for us! Our three have been absolutely terrible. Their Christmas will consist of 3 boxes from the parents with clothes, socks, underwear, and one pair of shoes “Santa” will be giving one gift. And if no improvement in attitudes, behavior and school next year will be less. We acknowledge that we have may created these monsters but they are all smart and old enough to know what’s up.
4 Likes
If your child is that bad, there is a lot more going on than needing to take santa away. Don’t take the magic of Christmas away. My kids are no angels, but I would never. My kids love the magic part of Christmas, hearing him talk on the phone, writing him letters, what they can improve on. We do advent calendars, elf on the shelf, feeding reindeer, looking at Christmas lights. These kids are stuck in the house right now so much as is because of covid. Don’t take their magic away. Sit down and talk to them. See a therapist. Find out what’s really going on. Children have a far more hard time expressing themselves and what’s bothering them. So sometimes they tend to shut down or act out because of it. Find out the source. Seek some extra help. I believe in punishments I do. But don’t take away their magic. We only have our kids for so long before they are all grown up.
3 Likes
I think a great idea would be that Santa has seen the bad behaviour.and instead of bringing presents they have to be Santa that year…go out and bring them around town to help out the less fortunate…select a family who needs things and get the kids to deliver to them.or some homeless people.maybe donate to a woman and children’s shelter…you can always do something small for them afterwards…but hopefully it will teach them to be grateful in the end…
1 Like
My parents put coal in our stalking and wrapped fruit for our presents when we were bad.
3 Likes
What I have done is not put any presents under the tree but instead I left each a letter from Santa saying that he left their presents with me and if they start to behave and listen then they can have them
3 Likes
They might be acting out bc it’s been a stressful year with the pandemic and thats how they express their emotions( regardless of their age) plus if they feel the stress from the household too it makes it worse…dont take away Santa…that will just add to the stress.
Hug them…when my kids are acting like that and I find myself getting more mad at them it makes it worse so when i finally realize it …i hug them…they need more love during that time ( even though it sounds ridiculous bc you want them to be accountable but something is gettimg to them and they need to feel loved)
2 Likes
I’ve felt like doing this several times over the years but I couldn’t be that mean. No child is ever good 
some aren’t even good 50% of the time but I don’t believe any child deserves to feel that sort of disappointment ever. The world can be cruel enough we as parents don’t need to make it worse for them. Maybe instead of Santa not coming at all you could hold back any ‘main’ present they’ve asked for until you feel their behaviour has improved x
2 Likes
My kids elves came on thanksgiving and then left for the rest of the weekend and took the tablet with them because they were absolutely awful. They cried when they tried to find them the next morning and they weren’t there. The elves left a note saying they we’re going to give them some time to rest so they could be good listeners and clean up all their toys when they are done playing. A big improvement in their behavior, the elves even came back a day early.
1 Like
One year i gave my boys each a few pieces of coal on their stocking… every since they bring it up around November to remind each other to be good 
2 Likes
Maybe the children can use some counseling. Why are they misbehaving so badly?
3 Likes
One year we didn’t put presents under the tree- the boys were 5 and 7. The weeks leading up to Christmas were just horrible. We told them how upset Santa would be knowing how disrespectful they were being. They woke up Christmas morning to find a note from Santa under the tree. It was a very loving letter explaining how their behavior was hurtful to each other, to others etc. There were still lots of presents for them after that, just in a different room. But we wanted them to read that letter and try to understand the consequences of their actions before they started ripping into gifts.
1 Like
My sister did this to my nephew as a joke when he was about 12 he broke down, and it kinda ruined the whole joke. But a lot of other stuff was going on with him for him acting out at the time too that she didn’t realize till later. So it’s always a better idea just just let holidays be holidays and not taken away or even joked about later on. Give people happiness positive energy… being bad might be a cry for help with something else.
1 Like
I was given candy coal as a joke when I was little. I was DEVASTATED. I still remember the outfit I was wearing on that day. While your attempt may be to set a standard for behaviour, it could also lead to a long-lasting negative event. Please think long and hard before making a decision. I’m 41 and I remember it like it was yesterday.
1 Like
Santa gifts definitely are dependent on behavior in our household. One year my oldest was in the office at school on an almost daily basis and was just constantly arguing and misbehaving. That year, Santa brought him stuff- but it was more practical stuff. Clothes, hygiene items, books etc.
1 Like
I have told my daughter (she’s 11 and intellectually disabled) she wouldn’t get anything and Santa will bring ber coal if she didn’t behave. However she’s a pretty good kid overall so she still gets stuff. Getting your child nothing at all but coal would be a cruel thing, I would say at least a couple things but not things they want just stuff they need like clothes or shoes but not cool shoes they like just plain jane shoes.
I tried but my mom got my oldest gifts anyway. She was a terror last year and didn’t deserve anything. I’m like, what’s the point of Santa having the naughty list if they’re still going to get presents?
1 Like
I’m my house Santa only brings 1-2 toys and stockings. The rest is from us. IMO if you threaten that Santa won’t come and they keep being bad and then Santa comes it kinda undermines the whole naughty list thing. Maybe them getting coal one year will help them behave better. I would leave coal with a letter that says he left their toys with you… And that each week they are good it’s up to you to let them open a gift after Xmas and explain that if they want to make it into the good list next year they need to do xyz and be better.
When my oldest was 16, we took away Christmas. He was failing in school and had a bad attitude. We gave him several warnings and finally returned all the items we had bought and replaced them with school supplies only. He is now 21 and a much more compliant individual. He even comes for visits, lol. As a parent you want them to be able to go on their own but still like you enough to voluntarily come back and visit…
I would put coal in their stockings and hide any presents in my room or somewhere and wait till after dinner once they get the good idea there is no awards for bad behavior. If they keep misbehaving they will just get coal. If their attitudes improve by dinner then they will get their gifts. I would do the same for any holiday.
Give em coal in their stockings and a letter from santa saying its a warning. Still get them presents
2 Likes
I’m not sure what age your son is but I think everyone is stressed with all that has been going on. Taking Santa away doesn’t address what they did. It’s just removing something they look forward to.
I would equate taking Santa away meaning you are keeping tabs of all the things he did wrong. Maybe try to think about the things he did good as well. Celebrate those moments. Create incentives.
I don’t know what he has done or age nor what other factors come into play. However, you have to address the issue at that moment and the punishment is equal to what they did. Then move on.
These days it’s stressful and kids get stressed too.
My 11yr old just got his Christmas taken away!!
Haters are gonna hate but I dont care!!
My son can be a real jerk to where I’m in tears almost daily…he never listens(and you can’t spank your kids otherwise you take the chance of cps coming now a days) he wont ever clean his room and he has trash and dishes every where, he hasn’t showered in a week, wont do his chores and if I ground him, it doesn’t matter to him
My daughter, who was 7 at the time, stole candy 2 days in a row from 2 different stores. We took all of her gifts back to the store. Good character is way more important than gifts. It was hard, but necessary!
Santa should be separate from discipline in my view. My kids are grown now but never bribed good behavior using Santa.
Good behavior is required all year not just at Christmas and different punishment should already be in place. I would never use Santa as a way to parent.
This is extreme I would have to know the behavior before I agreed to something this extreme but there is behavior that I’d say this would be acceptable for
My kids are in their 20s now. Inwould have never done this. Still give santa or tell them u are doing presents but because of behavior not as many. Dont be that parent. If your kids are that bad look how u are parenting throughout the year.
1 Like
I told my children the story of Krampus when they was 7&9, and let me tell ya they started acting right. Some might say wth would I do that but eh my kid’s, but to take Santa away is I feel isn’t right at all I would put coal in the stocking and maybe a letter from Santa explaining why he is getting it.
Santa doesn’t work like that. If you’re going to be welding Santa as a punishment you shouldn’t celebrate it in your house period. And if only way your child will behave is over the threat of Santa, and you have bigger issues with her discipline strategy.
While some years, I probably would consider it, this year is not one of them. Look at how much as changed since March. It’s stressful for adults, much less littles. I’d figure out a different way to handle it.
You have maybe, MAYBE, 10 years of Santa. You would honestly consider taking away that from your kids??.. I don’t normally comment on these threads, but this isn’t a form of punishment, it’s just mean. Like, how can you be willing to ruin the season for your kids. It’s not about the gifts, it’s the fact that you are pawning parenting off on the little bit of magic that is left in the world for kids. Sounds like mom needs to take a deep breath and maybe a nap. Two wrongs don’t make a right…
We had an issue right before Christmas with one of our children. We gave some small stuff in their stocking but didn’t give a gift from Santa. Siblings still got one. Santa left them a note stating they didn’t get a present because he was disappointed in them for what they had done. Then left them encouraging words to try better and tips on how to accomplish that etc. Child was disappointed but learned a lesson.
Yes if they are being bad then they shouldn’t be rewarded. They can have family time but no presents. Tell them you wrote Santa and asked him not to bring any presents this year
I got coal in my stocking, I still got gifts, not as many as I usually did, but it wasnt like I got nothing. I’ve seen people leave Santa notes, saying that their mommy or daddy were given their gifts and they are only allowed to get them once they act better, idk how well it worked but I like the empty gift idea, definitely go for that. You could make buy edible coal, that’s what I had as a kid, and it didnt really taste that great…I think it was just like flavorless powder died black and compressed to a coal shape, but being a kid I still ate it like the fatty I am XD
Yes, my older step kids totally misbehaved and they got a gift to which my youngest questioned why are they getting gifts if they misbehave? I said they got their warning from Santa but we need to still be good… this year, sorry their gifts were donated
Also please don’t claim that all of the gifts under the tree are from santa it’s not fair to the kids of poor parents who only get small things from santa and other kids who claim to have got in gaming consuls for Christmas from santa Take credit for the big gifts and give small understandable gifts from santa
1 Like
If your child is acting out there is an underlying reason. I would try to figure why he is hurting or angry and try to address that.
Here is something that I did with my kids when they were little-ish. They got gifts from Santa, but they also received a letter from him telling them about the things that Santa was proud of (always lead with the positive) and then the things that they needed to work on. Tell them that Mommy and Daddy always love you but sometimes they really don’t like your behavior and that is when Santa has to put you on the naughty list. Honestly, it really made my kids think about what they had done that was wrong. And … now the more unpopular opinion (my two cents) … this year has really sucked … we are all stressed and they know it. They feel our stress with masking, virtual school, limiting our exposure to other people, lacking in physical touch (hugs from friends) etc. Your kids are feeling all these things too, in addition to feeling the stress from mom and dad. Maybe a sit down with them to Really Listen to how they are feeling and asking about things they are worried about might help you to understand how to better address the behaviors. Come up with a plan together on how they can voice their worries without bad behaviors and how you can voice your worries without scaring the crap out of them. 2020 has really changed so many things including how we are all living with/handling each other.
This reminds me of the movie Fred Claus with Vince Vaughn. He told Santa that kids aren’t bad. “ Fred Claus:
Nick, there’s been one thing that’s been eating at me since I’ve been here. That Naughty-Nice List that you got? There’s no naughty kids, Nick. They’re all good kids. But some of them are scared. And some of them don’t feel listened to. Some of them had some pretty tough breaks too. But every kid deserves a present on Christmas.”
I threatened taking back bday presents once. I started packing them up to take to a charity. Kud apologized and did better. I have never threatened to take Santa away because Santa always delivers. Coal or presents? He chooses due to THE LIST.
You should wrap empty boxes under the tree, everytime they act up throw it in the garbage outside… see how quickly they change there behavior
One year my kids were being really rough. Santa brought them coal in Christmas Eve, but then brought gifts with a letter saying that the coal was a warning.
Maybe consider looking into their emotional health and see what’s causing them to act out. Kids are allowed to have bad days. I’m sure you’re not happy and cheery 24/7. Now add in the effects of covid and the fact we at least understand what’s happening and why, they don’t. Telling them that they’re “bad” over some normal human behaviors will only implant that thought in their head and cause self doubt in adulthood.
I think there’s a middle ground to this statement, I think that a gift should still be gotten from santa and a note saying that he almost didnt bring one because of the bad behavior and if it continues there won’t be 1 next year.
We thought Santa could really see us…because he would jingle bells if we were being bad. Just his reminder to us to straighten up and fly right. Worked for years.
Lol I’ve been telling my kid that since February. The mom in me still wants to cave, but then when he continues to not listen, it reminds me what kind of example I’m setting as he grows. I’m the parent. I have to stand my ground. He’ll be getting clothes and shoes for Christmas.
Do you have specific behavior expectations? Do you follow through when your child misbehaves? Bad behavior doesn’t just start around the holidays. Kids act according to what they know they can get away with.
My kids are grown now but absolutely not. Celebrating Christmas was never tied into their behavior. If they misbehaved there was an immediate consequence, not tied into Christmas. Christmas is celebrating the birthday of Christmas, not using Santa as a threat.
1 Like
My nephew was really bad last year so on Xmas day he got clothes and nothing else while his siblings opened their gifts. Then he got upset and they had a long talk and then later in the day Santa magically brought him his some toys and stuff but he didn’t get all the big stuff he wanted. He’s been a lot better this year.
It’s been a rough year for everybody. Were you at your best this year? Maybe cut him a little slack. This pandemic has been hard on everyone. Kids included.
1 Like
Don’t give as many gifts, but I could never take it completely away because children are not bad all the time. Replace what toys they would if gotten with clothes. Replace the candy for fruit or tooth brush.
Seriously, no one is being naughty this year. Especially kids.
Theyre just traumatized and struggling to process something beyond any ADULT’s comprehension.
We put them on the naughty list. What’s the point of having a naughty and nice list if you don’t use the naughty part when they are bad?
3 Likes
To be honest, I actually threatened to take all of Christmas away this year, after they broke my entertainment center in my living room. But i did notice my kids started acting kinder to each other and not arguing as much. And they even tried to fix what they broke (unfortunately it will take a little more than tape and rubber bands to put it back together, but they did try). It also works for us because our yearly tradition is to decorate after the Army/Navy game on the 2nd Saturday of December. So they have time to actually earn Christmas back.
Do you have an elf on the shelf? Sometimes at night I’ll leave a note from the elf reminding the kids of good behavior. Maybe have someone call pretending to be Santa and reinforce good behavior 
If you want to incorporate Santa.
I don’t threaten with Santa, I just tell mine I’m taking a gift away every time they cutting up or not cleaning up. I’ll tell them they can unwrap every gift under the tree but they can open any of them. They can earn them back.
Put some coal in the stocking… also have a secondary stocking and say sometimes Santa gives secondary chances
So for a 13 yr old that knows about “santa” and who really gives the gifts…does that change the perspective of taking away Christmas? The behavior is BAD…like already grounded and choosing to sneak, steal and lie consistently! This is a serious question as it’s being considered in our house. With 3 kids in the house and only 1 acting this way…what is the consequence? My 9 yr old still believes and sees the behavior from his sister…why would santa bring her presents? Again…serious question that I would love input on?
We Already lost our elves, they got sent back to the north pole. I threaten it daily. I am dead serious about to.
Santa pictures are more for the parents as keepsakes or at least they are for me.
I’m letting kids off easy this year simply because they have been stuck at home since spring break and I know it’s so frustrating…their gifts this year are going to be alot of outdoor play things like a basketball hoop, laser tag and so on so they can blow off some steam. Their “bad behavior” is more directed at each other but they still dont curse or are disrespectful and their chores get done for the most part. I have 3 boys aged 13 and twin 11 yr olds. Plus an 8 mo old girl.
I would not… There is no such thing as a bad kid… Im saying this as a parent who has a physically and verbally abusive relationship with one of my children. Moments of melt downs and violent behavior are part of his mental health issues they are not who he is. Children get to be kids for such a short time and each generation it seems to be shorter why take that away?
It might take some time (years of trial and error) to figure out what triggers unwanted behaviors in some kids but why punish them for it
Christmas night one year, Santa came back and took everything away from children’s hat were ungrateful for what they got. They were never ungrateful for Christmas again lol
1 Like
Wow. Why don’t you try talking to your child to try and figure out if something is bothering them. Some kids aren’t good at communicating their feelings but as their parent you need to take the time to figure that out.
I got coal and a bundle of sticks one year. Later that evening my parents gave me gifts but the message was loud and clear
Get the message from Santa app. I use it all year long for my 5 year old when she starts getting naughty. I start scheduling Santa to call and talk to her. It seems to work a bit more then just ne telling her. She listens to Santa.
I tell my kids that Santa and elfs make the presents but mummy and daddy pay for them so they understand that every penny hard earned is coming from us . So it’s not Santa they need to be worried about when it comes to their behaviour but no I wouldn’t punish them by Santa 
I would just remind them that mummy and daddy are working to get money to give to Santa so they’ve to be on their best behaviour x
Idk with everything going on this year I would cut your kid some slack. Think about what your child has been going thru. He left school one day and EVERYTHING was different. Probably hasn’t seen friends or ANYONE in what? 9 months?
Cut your kid some slack take them to see Santa. However stressful you think this is for you, at least you UNDERSTAND what’s going on.yiur kid doesn’t.
I can understand being frustrated but really it’s Christmas time to just enjoy the good. However,I did see a good suggestion changing your spouse’s name on your phone to Santa or a friend on your phone and texting them. How good or bad they are
Pure mean, Santa is not a privilege, is a special time for children. Kids get overexcited this time of year, don’t take the special away
I had my children believe that santa wasn’t coming. I refused to put up the tree… until the day before Christmas… They changed really quick… they were more shocked the next morning with a Christmas tree and lots of presents… it worked for th next year… they behaved… lol
I never did Santa from the beginning. Not everyone can afford Christmas and I couldn’t always afford Christmas. I didnt want my kids thinking they were bad when infact it was bc I lost my job and we were down to one income or whatever. So when I was pregnant with my 1st I decided I was not going to do Santa. But I did tell my oldest last year if she kept up her ungrateful attitude she was going to have to earn what I bought her. And I made her earn every gift she was given.
My DIL did it a few years ago. Santa left a letter explaining why he didn’t leave any presents. Broke my heart, but parents know best🥴
Santa has called our house & spoke to my boys when they were younger. (Now my husband is Santa to our young niece & nephew.)
Id take away maybe fun activitys due to bad behaviors but i wouldnt still the joy of teaching giving or them haveing the memories of the gifts kids are kids bad behaviors can be major and when saying this id question how bad are behaviors age the child chikds are and maybe try to figure out whats underlying causing them to misbehave kids arenot equit to coap with all the emotions of growing up esp in todays age schools tough and weather hormones , socal distancing lack of being able to due stuff they coukd do in diferent situation all plays role on a child teen and even adults not even adding on if finacaly or not changes play role i am nowear clise to even surviving and my 3 yr old is a bad behave chikd and my teen is ungratfull and mean minpulative but id never take there christmas away it wont help them itll make things worse or harm them in the future it kinda stills somthing from them to not get gifts rather from money reasons or behaviors
No not at all. I have 4 kids. Never thought of giving up Santa. Sounds down right cruel to me.
By them a few gifts but none from Santa. By like family games , educational games and clothing only
Instead of thinking how to punish them think why do they behave like this. You will find out that maybe you have been tired and not giving enough time to talk to them about their feelings and your feelings as well even if they were little they understand if you tried to explain how do you feel.
Depends alot on age and the type of behavior! Are they putting themselves at risk for harm? Others?
To me that is worse than simply not listening and not doing chores. I greatly dislike lying or stealing too tho. I know alot of kids have higher stress and depression with no social outlet and online schooling. My daughter is 11 and she has zero ‘want’ to do online schooling or assignments. Luckily she goes to a great school and they understand how online schooling and depression is setting into some kids. They work with her and encourage her. (No phone or playstation until work is done helps alot). I dont allow disrespect either tho!
You can always say Santa died from covid …
And before you you freak out I kid!
I think that is rotten myself. But sometimes parents are driven to use extreme means. Hoping that doesn’t mean nothing under the Xmas tree
All three of my kids, age 15, 12 and 11 are doing full remote learning instead of in-person. They all had at least one F the first quarter and I have told them that if they are still failing a class when this quarter ends, which is in 2 weeks, they will not have a Christmas. They will get nothing and will lose all the electronics they have now except their school computers which they need