To much TV how would she know all that and not enough attention
I really second to go consult, but look also on instagram Biglittlefeelings
Its all differents ways of how to approach different situations
First sending you big hugs this is a trying time for you and you may even feel like a failure you are notâŠagree with going to a paedrician
Obviously, I donât know the whole situation, only what youâve posted, so some or none of this may apply. Or it may go against your ideals. Take it with a grain of salt.
But hereâs what I learned as a daycare teacher and then as a mom:
Itâs not (usually) manipulation as we think of the word. Itâs the most effective way that she has learned to get your attention (or dadâs/other caregiver). Itâs kind of like the Pavlovian experiment.
Thatâs all she wants your attention and love, that and firm boundaries, with consistent natural consequences. (ie she throws a toy, it gets put up and out of reach; she hits then you focus on the victim, play up how theyâre hurt, comfort them, but donât blame your daughter or force her to apologize, she will start to do that on her own as she learns what the real consequences to her actions are.) These are not easy things to accomplish, I know. I struggle with this every day. Modeling the behaviors we want to see in our kids works a lot better than trying to force them to do things they donât see us doing. (Think about the work place, if thereâs a good manager, generally the team is a good one and works hard. But if you replace that manager with one that doesnât model the behavior they want to see, people donât work their hardest/best (with good reason)).
However, donât let those consequences include you walking away from her. To her, it feels like youâre taking your love away, that itâs conditional.
She could also just be having really big emotions, and simply doesnât know how else to handle them. When sheâs angry and frustrated, she seems to need some sort of physical release, which is normal even for adults. Find a physical activity that she likes and that she can do at school to help her get a handle on those feelings. (Running in place, jumping jacks, push ups, etc)
Iâve been on the receiving end of that kind of tantrum more than once at school, usually it helps when the teacher can sit with the child and let them get out the frustration (by that point she simply canât reign it in) while protecting themselves, the other kids and the child. And then when sheâs done, talk to her. Ask her open ended questions about what happened and explain why we canât do those things. (Sheâs smarter than you think, and understands more than she can effectively communicate)
Itâs not easy. And with most daycares being severely understaffed, it may be an impossible thing to accomplish. But you can do it at home.
I hope this helped. Or, at least wasnât a complete waste of your time.
Time out, if you donât nip it now look out when she is a teen
Food allergies? PTSD?
Every time she bites and pulls hair do the same back to her to show her who the leader of the pack is. After while she will figure out that itâs not the way and that shit hurts.
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If you have tried everything time for professional evaluation
The same why your mom controlled your
Something is bothering her and she needs Counseling ASAP! She should be growing out of that stage by now, but you should be observing how you respond to her behavior to see if, in some way you may be rewarding her!
have you had her checked for food allergies?
Do what she does to you, to her.
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Please have her tested for allergiesâŠshe might have an allergy to some type of food!!
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See a pediatric psychiatrist. Could be ADHD
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I think she needs professional help. Would help you too.
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I would suggest seeing a developmental pediatrician for an evaluation.
Seriously an eval! A good old fashioned smack on the ass will stop that! Omg 
this is to much~
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Dear mom just be patient with you child something is wrong with her she is a normal child you would need to seek special help .that is my advise to you
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Alkalmåtlan a gyerek nevelésére. Talån csak a gyårtåsrå.
Have her checked for PANDAS. Did she have strep recently.
I think there is a medical problem under her behavior. I would get her a medical work-up.
Look into ADHD assessment hun
Sounds rough, hope your ok
Is she getting enough sleep?
Sounds like she may need an evaluation done .
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Smack the shit out of her, show her whoâs boss and stop pussy footing around⊠Smh
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That here.to a child counselor
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Get that child into a mental health dr.
Turn about is fair game. What ever she does to someone, do to here
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Have her evaluated by an OT. Sounds like sensory challenges
To those suggesting a good swat on the butt, while I am not against a single swat on a clothed bottom, this child sounds like she would do the same to another child but worse. Normally a single swat can be just startling enough to interrupt the anger. This child needs a full evaluation and the sooner the better.
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I had the exact same with my son. How is ur daughterâs speach ? Xxx
Take her to a doctor so they can recommend help
Itâs called abortion, before you ever have to deal with itđ
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Get her help. She is crying out for help.
Autism isnât mentioned much anymore.
She need to get IEP done at school.
She needs to see a psychologist.
Speak to her pediatrician and maybe counseling
Spanking a child is not the answer,you will only teach a child violence is ok,ask your dr to refer your daughter to a child dr and let him asses her.
Mental health evaluation is a must
If she was never like this before and itâs suddenly come on then something or someone is bothering her at school or somewhere⊠When I see 4-year-old little girls losing their sugar in the grocery store and the poor trembling helpless mom ⊠Everyone around shooting her the evil eye I always smile and say "you know my daughter is the kindest sweetest girl grown now and people talk about the terrible twos but I call them the effed 4âs is your little girl by any chance 4 years old?.. "The poor mom so traumatized she can barely talk but sheâll shake her head yesâŠ(I already knew the girl was 4)⊠"Donât worry itâll pass girls at 4 are notorious for this ". Unless she has a sudden problem in her brain or some serious medical reason girls at 4 are just bananas⊠Maybe Montessori or somewhere where her soul isnât being killed⊠You donât know whatâs going on in that classroom I remember everything about teachers back to kindergarten and some of them were verbally abusive and insaneâŠand parents never see the real story they change their tune quickly whenever a parent is around⊠Nothing happens in a vacuum someoneâs pushing her buttons.
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Sounds like she may have autism on some spectrumâŠher checkedâŠ
My son was exactly the same we saw a peadiatrican and he was diagnosed with GDD and sensory processing disorder and emotional irregulation so he would have violent aggressive outbursts I lost count of how many kids he hurt and itâs heartbreaking thinking what am I doing wrong, get him assessed early intervention is key
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Maybe read up on what she is eating
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She got a future in wrestling
Quit sugar in her food! Fast!!! And check her for glutine intolerance.
Get her help now by a professional
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Sounds like Helen Keller
You need Super Nanny!
You as the parent are failing!!!
Address these issues with her pediatrician. Document everything also. My son went through the same thing and although he is Autistic, he was later diagnosed with explosive behavior as well.
I feel really validated by these responses. I am a 78 year old former child welfare specialist who began practicing in the 80s, when these ideas were seen as radical. I was born in the 40s, when there was absolutely no value placed in kids, and there was an expectation for societal behavior that was based on shaming differences. I have worked my entire adult life to learn and accept, and ultimately pass on the values you expound to others in these postings. I am rewarded to think that I made a difference, and thereby made life better for others in a meaningful way
Get her counselling.
It will help a ton.
Naw even if the child is on the Spectrum itâs a behavioral thing.! There must not be any real consequences for the actions the child is doing so she thinks that works to get what she wants.â
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She could be Neurodegenerative, I have ADHD and used to do these things because of sensory overload or to try to regulate my emotions
Child psychiatrist, ASAP
Have you ever heard of a good spanking? 
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Jealous of younger child!!!
Sounds like she need a woopin.
get her to an integrative doctorâinflammation from gut issues, stealth diseases (like Lyme), brain injuries, high heavy metals (like lead) etc can cause behavioral issues. Also, a child therapist --could be something has happened to her that she does not know how to talk about such as sexual abuse. This is far too extreme to just be âbadâ behavior.
Seek professional help, for you, not the kid. When you see a kid misbehaving it is because the parents let him. Parenting classes helps you learn the tools needed for a happy , healthy way to change behavior, and you have to change first. Good luck ! 
You may need to have her doctor look into Obstinate Disorder
There is this thing I used on my kids. It usually works well at keeping your pants up too.
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Oh, that sounds very stressful. For all of you. It could be a regulation problem, for an example. Because of this creepy and cringey âtough loveâ stuffâŠ
Hitting and abusing your child will break her OR make it worse. Or both. I was broken , AND i got much more violent from it later in puberty.
I have very few contact with my family now, and absolutely no contact with the person who raised me. They are in a senior home now, and they wonât see me ever again till they are gone. Do you want that? No? Or her becoming an addict? Or her accepting beeing abused by a partner? Suicidal? Hating you? Also No? Then donât hit her. Society changes, and we bloody know, that we donât have to take it anymore.
She and you need help. Good real help from professionals. Please, let her find help before itâs to late. A good mum has to see their own boundaries and accept that sometimes, your love is not enough. To stand for your child and go through diagnosis etc is tough. The feelings, i know, i know. But when you start therapy at that age, you can save her whole life.
Pull out the belt and whoop that ass! Problem solved.
Either you get her help or slap her and put her in the naughty corner. And if you canât control your kids. Then your not ready to be a parent.
Connect with them. Not only did you bring another baby into the world to take their spot in your arms when they were still a baby and needed to be your baby, but now you are sending them off to strangers to raise them. They need you.
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Have her checked for ADHD.
I would get her evaluatedâŠit sounds like there may be something deeper going on here.
A good kick up the arse never hurt us growing up
Bust her butt. And pit he I. The corner
How to Talk to Kids so They Will Listen and How to Listen so Kids Will Talk. Read it, live it. Itâs the Bible.
Well, when my kids threw a tantrum, I gave them something to have a tantrum for. A sore backside. Effective and quick. Worked for hundreds of years, maybe thousands. Ever hear the quote from the BibleâŠspare the rod and spoil the child? My momâs choice of persuasion was a willow switch. Didnât kill me. Sure raised whelps on my legs though. lol
You spare the rod you spoil the child ! Whoop that little butt and see how fast she straightens up ! !
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Maybe you need to stay home with her. She probably wants more time with her mom. Is Dad in the home?
Treat her the way she treats others and take her favorite stuff away
Ask your husband for help.
Take her for an evaluation.
This sounds like a personality disorder. Do some research and seek help for her and you.
Contact SUPER NANNY!!! She will get you into a place you can be an adult intelligent caring parent!! Unless you start paying attention and get involved your children will forever suffer!!!
Have your tried slapping her ass ?
Diet/sugar is a huge factor for Us!
How long has she been doing this
Put her in a room with no toys and nothing she can harm herself with. Walk away and STAY OUT until she calms down. Do not give her the attention she wants. When she is calm tell her that her behavior was unacceptable and that every time she behaves that way ahe is going back in that room until the behavior stops.
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She needs to be evaluated ASAP. A psychiatrist is a better person to talk to about this for sure. You need help with this. If sheâs like this on a regular basis it will only get worse. You canât fix it on your own. People will tell you to spank her. Thatâs going to make it worse. Get her evaluated. Good luck.
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Do like parents in the old times pick her up and spank her but that will give her an attitude adjustment
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how about a smack on the back side?
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Youâve done everything you can think of? So she has been evaluated then? Been to behaviour therapy? Your child drew blood from another child. You did not think this was serious until the daycare is throwing her out?
Watch supernanny on YouTube, sheâs an expert on child behavior and you learn a lot of great tips from watching her show
Iâd take her to see a behavioural specialist, if sheâs not neurodivergent and just acting badly Iâd look at your parenting and evaluate just whatâs being done wrong to allow these sorts of behaviours to happen and progress to the point they have.
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Sorry, but you created that nightmare.
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Thatâs not tantrums. At all. Thatâs either Autism or ODD.
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It could be a brain injury or trauma related get her to a pediatric specialist
You need to get her to a doctor and get her evaluated. Something is going on inside her brain that needs to be addressed.
My eldest has ADHD and while he always has been and always is a perfect angel at school and when heâs in the care of other adults, before he began treatment he was horrible at home. The same kind of behavior but not quite as bad or out of control. Our family is very grateful that I also suffer from ADHD and knew the warning signs in children so I was able to get him diagnosed very young (we didnât medicate until he was older though, of course). It was night and day when we got him on the proper medications. Granted, it takes a lot to keep his temper under control, but itâs worth it and weâre able to be a much more loving and happy family. We arenât perfect, no family is, but we can parent our children as they are meant to be parented without the added stress of all that drama most of the time.
Get her to a doctor. Get her help. She is suffering just as much, even more than you and everyone around her. Love her and be her mom and support her through this and she will be forever grateful to you for being by her side through whatever this fight is.
My son grew out of them very easily. Its part of finding their way thru emotions and getting their own way
Take her to a doctor. May be something physical or could be Autism. Every child with Autism is different.
Crack down hard. Spank and take all her toys away and tell her she can get them back when she starts acting right. Definitely get a child therapist too
Everyone goes with a mental problem sometimes a child needs that ass busted and tv taken away start being parents not friends. Even with mental problems you gotta be firm not giving
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Ever try a good old fashion ass whoopin? 
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Has this only suddenly just started or is it always been the case?
Either way, itâs a serious problem and needs immediate specialist proffessional care.
I dont believe its a communication problem. It sounds more serious than that, as the behaviour is so violent.