I once let my peas get cold and put too much salt on them. Guess what? My mom made me eat them. To this day I don’t over salt my food!! Sometimes still eat it cold!
Tell her to quit acting like a 2 year old. She needs to eat what everyone else eats if she dont dont let her have anything unless it’s what you made, then make her eat it for breakfast. You tolerate what you put up with, quit catering to her. Especially since her siblings will see her and will start doing it themselves.
Keep trying ,give her the foods the rest of the family have. If she doesn’t eat that’s her fault. She will soon realise she needs to flow the family.
Try letting her pick the meal and let her help make it
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Tell her she needs to eat what you prepare. No more special meals. If she refuses send her to her room and take away all of her electronic devices. Repeat as necessary until she gets the message. It won’t take long.
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You just stop cooking a separate meal for her, and stick to your guns.
She will be hungry enough to eat what you prepare eventually.
Don’t mean to sound harsh, but if you stick to your part, she will come around.
At 8, she’s much too young to be calling the shots in your home.
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She might not lime the taste or texture of meats, i would make a kid friendly vegetarian dish that she can eat, and you can have as a side dish to go with your meal.
keep the sugar snacks away from all and never buy them in the first place. Have her checked out by a doctor to make sure she doesn’t have a type of autism. You won’t deprive her of meat protein if there are other things with protein in it. I have seen other mothers make an art of what they serve their kids. Try pancakes made out of bananas and an egg. decorate with fruit faces, make a picture out of her veggies and try hard boil eggs in the design. There should be something online for more ideas. Keep on with smoothies with a little protein. She won’t die if she doesn’t eat. You may have to put a bungee cord to keep the cupboards or refrigerator closed. She seems like a very smart girl and is pushing your buttons. she will be smart enough to wait til you are asleep and get into things. It is hard but don’t give in.
I can truly say I’m probably the most picky eater in the world. There’s very little that I like. Don’t even like pizza. But I didn’t starve and I’m still alive. But none of my kids were picky like me. I always cooked all the foods they liked, still do to this day and they’re grown. But I always fixed 1-2 sides that I would eat. My mom alkwsys let me fix my own food If I didn’t like what she cooked for dinner. I never starved.
Guess it’s time she learns to cook? My picky eater needed hands on with dinner, so he meal planned and helped cook for the family.
Sadly, its all about choices. Take it or leave it. Separate meals is hard on the food budget and eventually one of your boys is going to start preferences for their personal menu as well. Give her a deadline. Starting Monday night she will eat what she is served or she’ll be hungry. Give each of the kids one night a week to choose the menu. Everybody will get to choose the meal…and everybody will eat it. You get a night to choose too
U can’t force a child to eat anything it just frustrates both of you. Try to get her to help cook the meal. Maybe if she is involved in the process, she might want to eat what she cooked. She might get the feeling of accomplishment and then be proud of it. Have her do easy things til she gets the hang of it and then move on. If she doesn’t want to, then just make ur meals for everyone like u r now, not eating meat 
won’t kill her, but u don’t have to worry about it. In time she might come around. Sweets r for a treat, so I wouldn’t use that as part of her meal. Just try and make meal time as fun for her as u can. As long as she’s getting some form of protein it’s ok. It doesn’t have to b meat.
Like its gonna suck but you are going to have to let her cry it out. I can understand some pickiness but outright having to cater um no. In fact I would introduce even more new foods and she can learn how to prepare them herself. I know she is 8 but if they can put together Legos they can cook with help. Also if ahe doesn’t eat veggie she could go blind. Take her to a doctor and they can tell her that so she starts to think about how serious the choice she is making.
I want to comfort you because my oldest son WAS this child. He refused anything but pasta, chicken tenders: no fruit, no veggies.
I was beside myself because I value nutrition and his younger brother ate everything. Some kids might be “supertasters” or have a strong gag reflex. I learned to make lots of things with tomato sauce to get that vitamin C in, and juices (yeah they have tons of sugar but the need vitamin C). Happy ending: my picky son is at Duke doing his grad work in “gastrointestinal diseases” and he is making himself kale chips and foraging mushrooms. Like, they grow up and try things. He will never eat onions but he understands the role of nutrition now…there is hope. Sneak the veggies in…
Make one meal-either she eats it or she doesn’t-her choice. She is eight-she is old enough to make that decision- but dont cave in and make her something else. It will be hard but when she realizes you are not going to cater to her, she will.eat.
This is why kids grow up thinking everyone needs to cater to them. Be strong. You are the parent. Set the rules!
You may have some guilt over long past decisions. Your personal emotions over your childs eating habits are of no consequence to the child. She WILL NOT STARVE!! She will eat when she is hungry. If you give in to the screams and cries, she wins. Your obvious concern is all the ammunition she needs to continue her control over you. Stop it! Your are her mother, not her slave. Your love is not questioned. Her need for attention can be met in other ways.
I don’t have any advice because we’ve always cooked all our meat on sun and just add sides and stuff to it at each meal. My kids always choose what they want and how they want it. We usually have ground chicken, thighs and legs, steak and burgers. Then we add in rice, pasta, corn bread etc. and we have fresh fruited and veggies al the time.
I knew somebody who did this for their kid. She gave in so much by the time he was 8 he would only drink one thing and would not eat most of what she cooked. She made 3 separate meals forever it seemed. Not me. Cool one meal. Your daughter won’t go hungry. She will eat.
You say no. You are the adult, and the problem is right there in your question: “I give her the most attention so it upsets me when she says that.” Your child is spoiled, and you enable her by not enforcing reasonable consequences. Unless she is diabetic, you most certainly CAN send her to bed with no food. You are not starving her, she has made her own choice not to eat. It’s not that she doesn’t like you, it’s that she doesn’t respect you. The people who are not going to like you are going to be your 2 sons, when they’re old enough to realize you give your daughter more attention and special meals they don’t get. The next time she kicks in, you tell her she can choose to eat or not to eat, but that you will not be making anything else. She will scream. You maintain the boundary. Lather, rinse, repeat. No child has ever starved from a few missed meals. She will eventually eat.
Be careful of the comments telling u she won’t starve herself. I would talk to your family doctor and maybe a nutritionist. My granddaughter does not have an “eating disorder”, the ones most of us are all familiar with bulimia, anorexia, but she has what is called disordered eating. If you listen to her she will tell you that there is nothing in the house to eat, not in cupboards, refrigerator or freezer. She can go days without what we all call eating, but I take her to the dr regularly and she is healthy. The nutritionist really helped her and me so that we can keep her healthy.
Make it, put it in front of her and eventually she will be hungry enough to eat it. Be the parent, do the parent thing and stop letting your 8 year old be the one in control.
who is the boss - adult - you or the spoiled child - either eat what is put on the table or go without. I raised six children and all of them have grown up healthy.
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Go without and no snacking. Will only take 1 or 2 times
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Be the parent. If she doesn’t eat it at dinner, its breakfast. If she doesn’t eat it then its lunch (if home if not save it) its dinner again until it goes bad or she eats it.
Law says ya have to give her food. Doesnt say what. And any CPS worker will tell her she is feeding you so it ain’t neglect
Kids do that bc you give them choices… take her to the Dr and if the Dr says she’s ok then cook dinner and serve. If she gets hungry enough she will eat. That can be expensive if you have more than one child and you gotta serve seperate meals.
Ok mama… My son is autistic and has food aversions due to sight smell texture and taste. I large batch cook his favorites and have them in the freezer, in baggies. If he doesn’t like what I’m making fresh he picks a frozen option that we know he likes
Make sure there’s always something at the table that she likes. Don’t force anything; that’s the root of many problems with food later in life.
Have her help you make the food. One meal for everyone. No more special treatment for her. She will not waste away to go hungry. You need to stand up to your child.
They go through phases. It all comes out over time. I have three grown children who went through phases. My oldest was a very picky eater. When my son was a baby he never ate for the babysitter. They all survived and thrived. Don’t worry mom. She will be ok. It’s not worth the fight. Pasta is good. She’s growing. It doesn’t effect her like it does us. Go light on the sugar. Let her eat lots of fruit. She will be ok. My children ate what I fixed or went hungry. When they got hungry, they ate. Don’t fret she will be ok 
I’m sorry your having such problems but I I use to make one meal. If you did not want to eat that was ok but you got nothing till morning. I would put the dinner in the fridge and if they wanted it later they could have it but no drink till they ate. Hope this helps.
Just a suggestion to check she doesn’t have any sensory issues. I was a fussy eater and have now learnt a lot of what I don’t like is texture related not taste. Im almost 30 and actually blend most of my veggies before adding to dishes because of this.
Mine is grown now, but, she ate what we ate, even when we would go out to eat, the waitress would ask what she would like from the children’s menu, her response would be “no thanks, I will have the 6oz prime rib, baked potato w/ sour cream and steamed asparagus” 
we had no issues, so I cannot offer any advise except maybe allow her to choose a family dinner one night a week and let her help prepare it… start simple …maybe something like grilled cheese and tomato soup?? GOOD LUCK! 
A child will not let herself starve. She’ll eat when she is hungry. If she doesn’t want what you make her take away her plate and put it in the fridge. Tell her when she’s hungry it’ll be waiting for her
My kids tried that. I told them they eat what I make, or they put it away and eat it for breakfast. They are what I ate after they tested me on that. When they were old enough to cook, they made what they wanted.
When my kids were young I made dinner put it on the table and put a loaf of bread and a jar of peanut butter as well. They had a choice end of discussion.
Let her help plan menu one or two nights a week, involve her with making shopping list, helping shop cut and cook food. Then she should eat it.
My daughter did not like meat from the time I introduced her to food at the age of one. She is now 21 years old and to this day does not eat meat. It may be that she does not like that type of food and her body does not want it. I was concerned about her vitamin levels because of this. She did not eat a variety of different foods but when I did find helpful is that I would take vegetables and grind them into liquid and put them in a sauce that went with her meals. She definitely did get her vitamins this way. Maybe trying to hide it like that would be helpful.
Send her to bed hungry do not give up say to her here is dinner it is your choice to eat it or go to bed hungry Need to stop giving in Hunger will over ride she will eat it eventually My kids pulled this or works things can be heated up in microwave
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The best advice a mom once gave me regarding dinner is serve it. That’s it. Period. Either they eat it or don’t. They will not starve themselves. My once picky eater will be 21 soon and eats everything!
I was raised you eat what’s on the table or don’t eat at all. It took a few days, but I started eating what was on the table.
Good advice I got recently, made a side dish you know she will like. Dont make her a seperate meal. If she is hungry she will eat. With a side dish she likes at least you know she isnt getting nothing. We also always make them try 3-4 bites before they say they dont like it.
Two choices…take it or leave it and if you leave it you go to bed without supper. A child will never starve themself for too long. And by the way whatever supper they left on the table will be the next morning’s breakfast.
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Don’t offer her anything else other than water. She’ll eat when she gets hungry enough. You get what you get and you don’t pitch a fit.
Parenting is hard.
Cook one meal. She will eat when she is hungry.
I would not tolerate bad attitudes and bad behavior.
If she is neurotypical, just make the one meal and she will eat when shes hungry. If she isn’t neurotypical, id be consulting her pediatrician. I was always told my 2 year old would eat when he was hungry, well guess what he didnt. He is autistic and he wouldnt a didnt eat for over a year. He drank 2 to 3 pediasures a day and got feeding therapy. My youngest is neurotypical and just a brat with meal time 
She will eat when she is hungry. Your 3 and 4 yr olds may do the same a they get older. Let them eat what they want but cook a different meal for each. They will grow out of this and they WILL servive
I do the whole “you eat what’s in front of you or nothing at all” 90% of the time my son says he’s full and then 15 min after being told it’s bedtime he’s hungry and wants a snack.
I’ve been having him put his food in the fridge and eating that for his snack instead.
He’s not a fan but I’m not gonna let him be picky either.
I therapist once told me that those food preferences can be part of a sensory disorder. My dgt has sensory issues. She would eat only bread, pasta, and sugar if allowed. She has never liked meat or many veggies. She will eat 2 to 3 pieces of meat now sometimes veggies but I do not cook special for anyone. We have 6 kids if I do for 1 then I have to do for all not happening. She wl occasionally refuse the whole meal but she also sometimes refuses and eventually comes back to the table and its ( she wont starve )
Maybe it’s her way of telling you she’s allergic to something… my sister did the same to my mom … and yes turned out the things she was refusing to this day … hurts her mouth or gut …
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So my daughter is 18 and she eats a wide variety of foods. My son is 14 and it’s still a battle, but it’s usually a battle I choose to let go. Our family has a bunch of picky eaters. Most of them when they got older started trying new things and now eat a variety of foods. I’m hopeful that one day he will start trying new things and give them a chance. Drives ya bonkers on some days so I feel your pain.
My daughter was like this. I told her she could eat what I made or make her own meal. She is now an excellent cook.
She will eat when she’s hungry. Keep the junk food out of the house. So her choices will be healthy choices. Offer her food. And leave where she can get it when she’s hungry
Try telling her that she doesnt like you when she screams and hollar about wanting separate meals. Reverse it back on her. Make her feel what she makes you feel and Maybe she may realize what she is doing to you.
I agree, this will make your other children feel left out, because shes getting special attention, and thats not fair
Check if she has acid reflux. My grandson was a crazy picky eater. Turns out most food literally made his stomach hurt. With medicine, he is a better eater.
I make my grandson eat 2 lg bites, then if he doesn’t like it he doesn’t have to eat it
Hopefully your younger children don’t pick up on this and start demanding different foods,after all,sister can do it.
Both my children and grandbaby ate what was given. No picky eaters here.
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Just a stage. My middle child went through it. Grown and eats great now. Don’t sweat the small stuff
I make one meal for the family. If my kids refused to eat it, they are welcome to reheat themselves leftovers, heat a canned soup or make a peanut butter sandwich. For the most part they will eat the same meal after we talked about if someone makes the effort to cook, then it is only respectful to eat it. Unless I make something they just cant force themselves to eat then they will decline respectfully and tell me they will make themselves something else if its alright with me.
She can make herself a peanut & butter sandwich 
if she doesn’t like what u make.
Barring, an illness, she will not starve. If you keep giving in, you will always give in. No candy, ice cream, soda or anything else, till you whats made
your the parent right? well maybe not. Eat or go without. give them water so they remain ok but they eat what you fix. You have to be the parent not the friend. I see it with kids close to me and what a shame.
The word is NO! eat or go hungry, and NO snacks. Its hard but she’ll learn.
As you said this is partly your fault. She is playing you and she wants all your attention. That child would go to bed without anything if need be then she will eat when she gets hungry. You parents worry to much about the kids hurting your feelings. Step up be the parent tuff love or your going to have a spoiled cup cake on your hands and that will be worse than her hurting your feelings. These days parents want to use kiddie gloves on their kids your doing more harm than good. BE THE PARENT not her BEST FRIEND.
As my parents told me "eat what’s put in front of you or go hungry " she gets hungry enough she’ll eat it and she can eat it cold. PERIOD END OF STORY
You most certainly CAN send her to bed if she does not eat her dinner. She will not starve. You stated it upsets you when she says that you do not “like” her even though you give her the most attention (your words). If you indeed are giving her the most attention then her bad behavior is working out beautifully for her. It appears you are letting an 8 year old rule you and the household.
I have 5 kids. I cook one meal for all, they will be just fine going to bed without dinner for a night. Once u start catering to different meals it opens the flood gates
At my house you didn’t have to eat anything you didn’t like so you either eat or it’s peanut butter and jelly trust me they can live on that lol
It’s ok to cook separate, but I wouldn’t cook so far off the menu!
Have her join in on making the menu. Also, is this new behavior or has she always been this way? If it’s new, what’s changed in her life? Sounds like it’s a control thing, which means she feels like she didn’t have control of her life and she is going to control this. Therapy can help. Also, rule out food allergy if this has been ongoing
I thought my middle child was picky, but it turned out she just didn’t like sauces. So I just stop pouring the sauce on the food and let people serve how much condiments they wanted on the food. This allowed her to taste the food without extra Calories. This has led to all of my kids being healthier eaters and me loosing weight. But I never cook her a separate meal. If she is concerned about the meal, she helps me cook it so we can talk about what’s in it.
Let her help choose the menu each night. She could choose a side dish etc.
I agree … you have to stand your ground… she wont go hungry for long … do not give in when she refuses simply tell her she is excused from the table until she chooses to eat what you made… she will get the picture quickly
There might be an underlying medical issue so check with a dr. And they might be able to refer to a speech-language pathologist or/and occupational therapist for a feeding evaluation.
My ex made my little one whatever she wanted. She lived on peanut butter sandwiches and cereal. She is 17 and eats the same thing. Nothing i can do. Tried everything.
If you just give her what you want her to eat, eventually she will get hungry enough to eat it. You can let her teacher know that you are in fact feeding her, she just won’t eat what you give her.
When she gets hungry enough she will eat. I would recommend talking about it with grandparents and teachers, so they understand the game plan
8 is old enough to help cook, it will encourage her to eat what’s prepared.
I cooked basic meals when my kids were growing up. That is what was on the table. They could choose to not eat a veggie or something but I didnt fix anything to substiture. Kids have their favorites but need to eat other things too.
Shes playing you she know the bigger the fuss she makes you’ll give in and give her what she wants… My kids are what was put in front of them if they didn’t well it was off to the room with out food then they would get that same plate at the next meal… They are now all well adjusted adults that will eat everything …
Of course you can send her to bed with no dinner. Cook one meal, tell her either she eats or goes to bed hungry…HER choice. I do the same thing with grounding or taking away electronics. You knew the rules. You CHOSE to not follow them.
You’re the mom. Not a friend. She eats what’s on the table or she gets plain bread and water.
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I used to tell my kids…if you dislike what is on table make yourself a pb and j…that is the only option
The rule in our house is you have to try what’s on the table. If you politely say you don’t like it, you are welcome to get yourself something else to eat. To be clear they have to get their own food. 8 is old enough to make something easy. A couple months of eating nothing but cereal won’t seriously hurt a child. They will get tired of eating the same thing all the time.
Make interesting dishes by mixing what she does eat with small amounts of what she doesn’t eat. Fritters or make hash browns
Rule at my house was u eat what’s on the table. No snacks no nothing. She will eventually eat.
Actually sending her to bed Hungary wouldn’t hurt her one bit. I’ve had picky eaters in my family and they quickly learned to eat what is cooked.
When she gets hungry she will eat, dont make anything special, my dad would say that, and on November 6th he would of been 110, and he raised 8 children
She eats what you cook or goes hungry and she sits there until everyone else is done, she will eventually eat…be consistent you are the parent not a short order cook
If she doesn’t eat her meals, she will not be eligible for snacks in between meals.
She’s 8, she’s old enough to make her own sandwich so she can do that, eat what you make or go hungry.
Try a compromise: eat x bites and then she can have something else.
Maybe have her help make her own foods. If she likes strawberries and spinach, perhaps help her make a spinach salad with strawberries, walnuts, blueberries with a raspberry vinaigrette salad dressing. Or help her make a hot ham and cheese sandwich.
If she is really hungry she will eat, it is a power play and you are losing.
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Smack her on the butt and tell her she will eat what you give her or she won’t get anything else to eat, and if she doesn’t eat don’t give her anything. Bet in a few days she will eat. Fitst I’d take her to the doctor and make sure thete is nothing wrong or if she’s just spoild.
You eat what gets cooked. Or go to bed hungry. Those are the only choices.
The comments on this thread make me sick, and so sad. Your job is not to control a child. Your job is to teach them how to be functioning, healthy, independent adults.
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Simply tell her that the meal provided for the family is what is being served and there will be no “special meals”… she will eat when she’s hungry or take her to the doctor for lab work.