I and my ex split up after a little over two years due to some choices he made, and he couldn’t be faithful to me, so I finally had enough and asked him to move out of my house. I feel like it was a bad decision because my daughter constantly cries and looks for him and now refuses to sleep in her own room because she thinks I’m going to leave. She’s constantly by my side and I can’t even go check the mail without her thinking I left here How can I make her see that I’m not going anywhere and get her back in her own room?
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Maybe some family counseling together
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Stay with her as long as she wants… Reassure her several times each day that you love her forever and will be with her… Over time she will overcome those feelings of abandonment n regain faith and trust in relationships.
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All you can do is give her that love, and reassurance shes little and doesn’t understand. You have to help her build her trust back up
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Constant reassurance that you’re not leaving leaving and are going to come back. If he’s being distant it will be harder keep that in mind
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My 9 year old daughter is the same way. Her dad and I have been separated for a year now and it dosent seem to be getting any easier.
I did put her in counseling though.
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Abandonment issues, unfortunately 
does she get to see her dad often? That’s very important. She loves him. I’m sorry you are going through this. It’s so tough and heart breaking. I hope she can get some peace of mind and move past this. So many prayers for you and your little.
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Time for dad to step up and sit down with you and her and own his part and help reassure her you aren’t leaving
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How old is your daughter? Maybe she’s still trying to adjust since she is not seeing her dad around, it’s making her think you’re the only one that she’s got right now. Just let her be, for now. Be her comfort.
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The quote I always used with my son… Those who are here matter, those that are not don’t. You and me are set in stone bubba, others may come and go…we started this at 2. He is 8 now and repeats it to me.
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So when my ex and I split my daughter was about 18 months, she didn’t understand and was extremely distraught. I couldn’t pee without her being at the door banging and screaming ans crying and having a full blown melt down. I ended up sitting down with her and explained the best I could that mummy loves her and mummy is never going to leave that she means the world to me and we start to pinky promise to always come back. So anytime I wasn’t in arms length or out of eye sight, I would stop get eye level and hold my pinky out ans say I pinky promise to always come back
It still took a while but it made things easier, I could go to the toilet without her having a meltdown, I could go and have a smoke but if I was longer than 5 mins she would bang on the door amd if I was still there lol
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Therapy is the best decision I ever did with my daughter. Kids don’t know how to process their emotions.
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Get her the book Forever my baby you’ll be…
Will be a great book for bedtime snuggles…
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Be there for her. Don’t make her feel like she irritates you by being by you. I did the same thing when my dad died. I checked on my mom when she was sleeping even. It’s normal. In a way she’s grieving. Let her grieve. How old is she? Maybe a counselor can help?
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Is the father in the child’s life
Stay with her! Me and my boyfriend lived with his parents for almost 6 months and currently they have custody of his daughter. Her mother is barely around so when everyone was at work/school I was primary care giver for her and we moved out and now she comes to our place every other day. She is attached to my hip! She won’t let me cook or clean or even pee without following me or wanting to be held. Sometimes children notice who come and go and when it’s mom or dad it’s hard on them. She just wants your reassurance she watched dad leave and doesn’t want you to leave as well.
My daughter went through this, I got an extra camera (off Amazon) and angled it to where I’m sitting always,
The. I set a tablet or laptop up on her dresser so if she was scared I was gone she could see me right there on our couch or in bed, I just brought the camera from room to room with me,
After a couple months she knew I wasn’t going anywhere and got over it completely
Better when they’re little , it seems like they’re hurt, but they get over it much quicker and do t remember when they’re older,
My brothers and I dealt with this for a significant time after our mom was kicked out and we were forced to move in with our grandparents. Please just be patient and supportive. Giving love and acknowledgement to her feelings is most important
Please put her in counseling. What you can do depending on her age is have a set time with her every day or other day so she knows you and her will have quality time together. It can be a movie on Friday nights exactly at 6 pm with pizza. She will focus on that date and that you two will be together. Of course make it a time where only an absolute emergency will break the movie date. She needs reassurance at this time. Only speak about her father in a positive manner. Don’t let anyone bash him in front of her. Keep all adult problems/struggles away from her as much as you can. Tell her you are hurting too.
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My friend always said where she was going: “I’m going to the kitchen, I’m going to the living room, I’m going to the bathroom…” etc. You’ll just have to let her follow you around, and yes, to the bathroom too, though even before separation I rarely got to pee alone. 
Yes, counseling and play therapy is always a good thing.
My ex moved nearby and we were civil, so the kids could run back and forth to a degree, and my ex and I rarely did anything together. But we were in counseling and got the advice of our counselor on how to tell the kids (together, hardest thing we ever did).
Not sure what sort of cooperation or arrangements you have, but I talked up getting to have two houses, how my daughter wanted to decorate her two rooms (cute animal theme for one, flowers for another, maybe? Which items would she want to keep at each house?)
Do you have divorced friends with kids she can talk to or who would be able to reassure her that life does go on, and everything largely stays the same except schedules are more complicated and mommy and daddy live in different places.
It helped the hurt/anger between us for us to just communicate by text a lot. That way a lot of the emotion was taken out, and we could take a deep breath and read the info when we were prepared and calm.
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My daughter was worse when it first happened… she was not even 5 yet… she would not leave my side and questioned me where I was going (even if I was just going 2the bathroom) and would follow me… and her dad has been very inconsistent… we have been separated Dec 8, 2019 and divorced July 3,2020… she Co sleeps with me… it has gotten a lot better tho
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I don’t have an answer but I wish I had done more for my son when my ex moved out. He was 5. In 4 short weeks, my ex moved out, i had a new baby, he started a new school & we moved to a new house. My son got SEVERE separation anxiety. It’s a little better now but the first year was horrible. Prayers for you momma!
She needs to work through it, be there for her. If you start to worry that she’s not recovering from this well you could consider counseling.
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Give her something. Wear a necklace for several days and then give it to her to hold on to. She will believe you are coming back for the necklace.
Is the father in the picture?
You are just going to have to ride this one out the best thing is to just be there it can be hard,when my kids dad and I split up and he moved out it my youngest would cry for him at night and asked if I was going to move out too I think it also helped that he sat down with them and told them even though he moved out he didn’t leave them and would only be 30 minutes away,that they could call him anytime and he would see them all the time
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I’ve heard things like drawing a little heart on her hand and yours when you’re apart and tell her when’s she feeling sad or is in bed and missing you to kiss the heart and you will feel it. Keep reassuring her, like a running commentary. ’ I’m just going into the kitchen to do so and so and then I’ll be right back’ or I’m just nipping to the loo, maybe you could draw me a picture for when I’m done’ xx
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Her entire world is shattered right now. Ride the wave with her. Take her out with you to check the mail, let her sleep with you, do extra fun 1 on 1 activities with her. All of these things will help her find a sense of security. She will go back to her own space when she’s ready - for now, she needs you. Be there for her.
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Just keep reassuring her that you aren’t leaving her. Make things together to put them up on walls or the fridge, maybe even start a little chart to show when things get done and get her to help you so she feels more at home. It’s hard but try to include her in meaningless chores like getting mail or washing laundry.
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When my daughter was 2 we went through something like this. She thought I was going to leave her all the time, so I kept telling her in ways she could understand I wasn’t and let her follow me around. She slept in my bed, followed me outside, checked on me in the shower, she did it all!
You have went through breakups before, she hasn’t… I know that sounds weird. She will fall back into herself just give her time:heart:
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Took my son a year but he’s understanding abit better now he still sleeps in my bed, he knows that I have to work and thats the only time I leave him. Just always reassuring I will always come back home 
it’s been very very hard and extremely emotional but you will get there! Lots of cuddles and maybe a soft teddie you can cuddle and kiss to pass on your love if she needs it when your gone, i found this really helped my son. X
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She wont leave till she is ready. Shes feeling abandoned
It took my daughter about 2-3 years before she would leave my side. And she still needs me to fall asleep. And if I turn the lights off and shes alone she will freak out.
But my daughter lost her daddy when she was 4 she is 8 now.
Good luck
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I would definitely check into some counseling services to help you navigate it, it doesn’t matter the age. They can give you tips for every age. The best thing you can do is constantly reassure her and the biggest key is communication. I would try to keep set schedules as much as possible so she knows what to expect everyday for the most part. If the dad is still in the picture for her maybe you two could sit down with her and reassure her just because you separated doesn’t mean you guys will abandon her.
Time, patience, and alot of reassurance that you both love her and will always be there. She will get it eventually…it is very confusinf for a child of any age.
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Your gunna just have to ride this one out. My daughter was 14 months when I left her dad. She struggled big time, right up untill she was 3 she was convinced everyone was going to leave(he’s not present in her life).
I’ve just made a point along with everyone in her life to tell her where we are going and how long we will be. She’s begging to finally get it now at 5 but sometimes it still creeps up on her
Be patient with her… Talk to her, let her talk and you listen… It’ll work out
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Let her go through this…
Understand it’s a real fear she has and reassure her by you’re actions that you’re not going anywhere
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My son hasn’t had contact with his bio dad for 5 years, it takes a lot of reassurance and love. It is tough but it will get better! Just keep doing the best you can
Time. Give her time. And patience! Hide the exasperation and respond with love every single time. My daughter did the same thing when her dad left. I couldn’t walk 5 feet in front of her, without her losing it. For months, probably closer to a year. They just need to be constantly proved to that us mommas aren’t going nowhere. 
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I went through this with my daughter when I left her father. It was an abusive situation so lots of fighting. She seemed happier overall but once I started working full time she freaked out anytime I would leave for work or go into another room. It just takes time. Be patient. Don’t get upset about the clingy ness even if it is overwhelming at times. Get into a routine and let her adjust. She needs to build trust that you won’t leave her. She will eventually see that everything is okay. 
I try to explain to my daughter why I left her father in a way she understands and I tell her that I will never leave her. Let her sleep with you and do a stuffed animal or blanket as suggested. It helps
I’m from a split home it just takes time and lots of reassurance and patience hun it will get better x
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Give her time? Why does she have to because you are. It’s not as easy for children to process these things. Snuggle her extra
They have a bunch of amazing books not only about parents breaking up but more importantly about bring away from someone you love. Maybe find a book you think makes sense and read it together regularly…
I think someone sells a bracelet combo thing that when you touch it it vibrates. Then she could have constant reassurance that your right there for her. Also maybe try to wear a shirt for a night or two at a time and put it on a stuffed animal so it smells like you. Those might help.
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Talk to a professional. I went through this when my mom n dad split… councilors aren’t bad ppl
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Is he her dad? If he is he needs to tell her he didn’t leave her, and how much he loves her, etc. If he isn’t her dad, you’re just going to have hang tight and over time she will let up. Just keep assuring her.
Honestly… she could have abandonment issues. Talking to her about things, telling her that you aren’t going to leave her every day, and therapy are my suggestions
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Be supportive of her. Her entire world is changed
Let her. Shes processing. Give her quality time with you and remind her your not ever leaving her.
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Let her sleep with you till she’s comfortable
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She needs therapy and that’s okay.
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I left my oldest daughter’s dad when was 3. A friend of mine got her a little stuffed monkey. Monkey went through a lot of rough nights and a lot of tears. I’m not sure how old your daughter is, but I suggest doing the same thing; whether it’s a stuffed animal or a blanket. Let her stay with you as long as she needs to. Just reassure every day that you love her and won’t leave her. If need be, seek professional help.
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Whatever you do, don’t rush it. Ride it out and love her up, she needs it. Don’t leave her even if it’s for the mail, take her to check it or check it later, she needs reassurance 
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I did this to my mom too… even slept with her for some years… just ride it out…
She will realize it in time! It can be frustrating but just spend time with her so she realizes you will be a constant in her life…one day you will wish she wants to be near you and she wont want to be❤️
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I’m not sure if this is an option for you or not. Some places have therapy options for kids who have parents that have separated. Everyone needs time & patience to adjust when things like this happen.
I had my Dad walk out on me when I was 6. It was horrific. Kids get scared. Kids have insecurities. I also had my ex cheat on me and leave me and my four kids. They were all devastated and cried all the time. They all used to sleep in bed with me. Instead of focusing on getting her out of your bed, focus on reassuring her that you would NEVER EVER leave her. Constantly remind her of how much you love her. Enjoy this time of her being little and wanting to sleep in bed with her. Trust me, it is a phase and then it is over forever. You will blink and she will be a teenager and want to hang out with her friends all the time over you (which is totally normal) but it still sucks when you feel like you are really not needed as much. Kids grow up. Kids become independent. Enjoy her being little. You are going to blink and she will be off to high school.
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Reassurance, take her to do some fun stuff maybe she will get her mind off of it and it would be great bonding for you guys! It’s going to take sometime for her to adjust but just keep reassuring she will get better over time counseling might help good luck mama
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Constant reassurance Mama! It will take a lot of time and may get frustrating but you need to be patient as she adjusts. You made the right, healthy choice. Remember you are healing together and your bond will only grow from this learning experience.
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How old is your daughter? This will play a part in how you deal with this. If she’s a little older-get a psychologist or counselling. Younger will be difficult. Either way lots of love and reassurance. Also allowing her to speak to and see her father-or her stepfather if that’s who he is to her. Ask him to talk to her.
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Be patient. It wont last forever she is confused. My daughter did the same thing
Alot of reassurance. This is going to take some time for her to adjust . You just have to give her lots of love and support and understanding . He world has just been ripped apart with her father leaving this is hard for children .
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Let her see her dad, just because you don’t have a relationship with him anymore doesn’t mean she can’t.
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Lots of patience and prayers. Since the pandemic, my granddaughter can’t sleep without her Daddy. 
I too became a single Mama a little over two years ago and my 6 year old daughter went through about a year of seperation anxiety. It was awful, she was constantly weighed down by the thought of losing me on a day to day basis (I’m the residential parent) like she did her Dad. I’m not sure if your daughter is in school, but our teachers and counselor helped her SO much when it came to making her feel confident and comfortable leaving Mom. She’s still a Mama’s girl and I don’t get much alone time lol, but she does play independently, loves school, cheers and plays softball and is an overall happy little girl with two happy parents. Keep your chin up and just remember time may not always heal all wounds, but it does get easier.
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I’m not a single parent…and nothing has ever happened to make my son this exact same way…I spoke to a health visitor years ago…(he’s 8 now) he started it about 4…maybe when starting school…and she said just be patient and tell him whenever you go anywhere…even if its just to the toilet and ask if they want to come…or I’m just going in the garden do u want to come ect…he’s not as bad now…but stil like it…they will grow out of it…Good luck she will over come it as she gets older…x
Therapy. Get her counseling. That will help her the most to deal with her emotions. Next is be patient with her. It’s going to take a while before she feels secure again. Give her lots of warnings for when you are going to do things like go check the mail. Let her walk with you. Then let her stand near the door and watch you. Gradually move to where she is staying in the house while you get the mail. You will have to take it slow.
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Tons of LOVE & reassurance. My oldest daughter was there for every decision I made (some not so great) Give her love…SO MUCH LOVE
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It’s a traumatic experience for kids when parents separate… just keep re assuring that you love her, your both safe and you won’t leave her. Maybe lay with her in her room until she falls asleep to re adjust her back into sleeping in her own room.
You may need to get her to see a therapist. Otherwise she could have issues with future relationships. Taking her to do fun stuff or buying her things isn’t going to help
Time, conversations and maybe some counseling.
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Get her to a therapist.
This is serious. Get professional help
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Does he not have a relationship with her?
Time for the soon to be X forever to man the fuck up and be honest why he is a POS and won’t be living with her any longer
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How old is she and how long since you kicked your ex out?
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Therapy. O went though sometimes similar with my son. He would wake up crying at night because he thought i was leaving too. It took a long time for him to realize i wasn’t.
Itll be a bit…does she still get to see him?
Be patient with her and let her sleep with you if it makes her feel secure. She will in time be secure again and things can go back to normal.
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That is a rough situation to be in, but honestly you may just have to deal with it for a bit. You are going to have to do what you can to reassure her that you are not going anywhere, even if that means letting her sleep in your room for a bit. You also have to reassure her that her dad isn’t gone either, just that he doesn’t live in the house anymore. Make sure he is still just as much a part of her life as before. If that means face time, visits, just hanging out for a little bit then do it. Unfortunately she is to young to understand what is going on, and she shouldn’t know all the details. At that age you just have to try to reassure her and have her dad reassure her. Eventually she will start to understand that you are not going anywhere, and then you can start to slowly go back to normal.
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Have to show her love with kisses and hugs and have friends and family included. My ex told our daughter that he was moving away…
took almost 2 years for her to not feel abandoned. It also will help to get along with your ex for the sake of your child up prevent long term abandonment issues…
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I had the same problem with my son my ex husband left us when he was 5 when I would take him to school he would cry he thought I would leave him too. So the teacher gave me advice she asked me do you have something that belongs to you that you could give him and after school he has to give it back to you that will assure him that you will be waiting for him after school that you will not leave him. I had an angel pin so every morning I will tell him you hold this pin for mom and at the end of the day you will give it back to me. We did this for a few months and it worked my son felt safe and secure that I wouldn’t leave him that I will always be by is side. He is 30 now and he doesn’t want to have nothing to do with his father my 2 daughters speak to their father but my son doesn’t.
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I’m not sure of her age, but maybe a child therapist would be a good person for her to talk to about how she is feeling?
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Some schools have groups for children of divorced parents. When they realize they aren’t the only ones, they feel a little better. If your child’s school has a guidance counselor, perhaps you could ask her/him about this. If they don’t have something like this, it might be something you could suggest.
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Make for her her fave food and have a deep sit down convo with
her about it and interject her bed into it lol
I know it can be a little annoying, trust me. I have an almost 8 year old that is the same way. Her biological “father” was a POS. I threw him out when she was 3. She cried for him for a while, he popped in and out of her life for about a year. I finally put an end to it. She has had separation anxiety since. She used to share a room with me. It was only with me up until about 2 years ago when I met my now husband. Now she is that way with both of us. She does sleep in her own bed in her own room now, but anytime we’re leaving the house, she needs to know where we’re going and when we will be back. She needs a million hugs and kisses and stands at the door and waves and blows kisses as we pull out. It has let up a little bit over the last couple of years. We have a routine with her though. Every single night, we tuck her in, in her own bed. We give her hugs and kisses and tell her we love her. Every morning one of us wakes her up. We make sure to tell her when we’re leaving. Usually she notices, but on the rare occasion that she doesn’t, we go and tell her and remind her that we will be back. You just have to reinforce to her that you’re never going to leave her. Communicate with her. Not sure how old she is, but I’m sure she is old enough to understand if she is having separation anxiety. Be consistent and reassuring.
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Following because my oldest is currently doing this too.
You can’t make her see or believe anything because she too is feeling loss, scared and confused.
I dont understand the need to fix children’s sadness or worries right away.
Spend the extra time with her, snuggle in bed with her.
Find a good quality therapist for both yourself and her.
Allow for the transition process to happen but it will take time. Hugs!!
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Mine would do the same but she would have full panick attacks when I left for work so therapy came up with small reward system. Everyday I didn’t leave for work (since dad said that and disappeared) I left to make “coin” I would bring home change everyday and as long as no meltdowns she got her coins for piggy bank. As she got older it was were u good? Did u do your chores? Worked amazingly
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Sounds like she’s toddler/preschool age where speration anxiety is typical. It gets better with time.
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Just keep reminding her it’ll take a while but she suffered a pretty big trauma for a kiddo.
It’s just going to take time, love and reassurance. 
Does he still visit? Your relationship shouldn’t effect there relationship. I hope that ur still
Allowing him to visit. If that’s his choice then she probably had anxiety and even know she’s young she pile benefit from getting an expert opinion maybe some coping mechanism of a certain toy or bracelet to fiddle with ive had anxiety my whole life and it’s been helpful
I highly recommend this book for any little one that is going through some type of separation anxiety. It’s a wonderful book and might help. Also time, establishing a routine and therapy if needed. I understand what you’re going through but it does get better.
I went thru this with my daughter. She was 3 when we split. Shes 8 now. She still follows me around but not as much…about once a week she has a worry that I’m gonna die and leave her( when I get allergies, or surgery she thinks I’m gonna die and will flip out) we do talk/play therapy for her…
Let her follow you…give her, her own space in your room…she will adjust to it eventually, reasure her every time she starts to worry
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To a child, something like this can be as traumatizing as a death. Comfort her. Give her plenty of hugs. Spend time with her. Let her sleep with you if she is scared. Seek counseling.