How Can I Get My Pre-Teen Son to Shower and Wash Better, Because He SMELLS?!

Motherhood
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QUESTION:

"How do you get your almost teenage son to understand that he stinks (think wet dog smell… I don’t know how else to describe it) and needs to bathe and wash his hair better?

I have tried talking to him; I have tried showing him how to wash his hair again, heck, I’ve gone as far as making him put on swimming trunks so that he can shower, and I can make sure that he scrubs good!

I have tried explaining to him that if he smells like he hasn’t showered in weeks, he is going to get picked on like crazy when he goes back to school. If he’s being supervised, he scrubs good and smells a heck of a lot better. When he’s not being supervised, he comes out of the shower still smelling awful.

I keep a blanket over our couch to protect it from pet hair and nails, and I have to wash it multiple times a week because where he sits on the couch smells so bad. The thought has occurred to me that it could be a change in hormones, BUT it’s not like a ‘body changing smell,’ it’s just a downright ‘lack of bathing properly smell.’ HELP! Getting desperate here."

RELATED QUESTION: How Often Do You Change Your Kids’ Clothes?

TOP ANSWERS (AS SELECTED BY MODERATOR):

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“Make him go back and shower again. Rushing through a task to get done faster becomes pointless when you have to do it again and again until it’s right. My kids struggle with properly washing dishes. When that happens, they wash them again. It’s amazing how much better they are about it!”

“Maybe take him to find a soap, shampoo, and deodorant that he likes the smell of and see if that encourages him to wash well. Also a fresh towel and washcloth every bath or two. If all else fails make him wash the couch cover and have him smell it to get him to see why he is needing to.”

“Rub the shampoo into his dry hair before he goes in … then he can rinse and shampoo again… to be fair I think it’s a hormone thing as lots of teenagers have the same smell.”

“My son is only 8 and we have this issue as well! I literally make him come to me when he’s done to inspect him and if it’s not up to par he goes back in! He gets pissed sometimes but by the time he comes out of his second shower he’s fine!!”

“At this point, it’s not about protecting feelings. Tell him straight up, your freaking smell, it’s disturbing to all of us. When he showers if he’s only in there for 5 min make him go back in. Then take things away. If he’s not old enough to shower properly he’s not old enough to stay up past 9, he’s not old enough to have a phone or video games either. He’s just being lazy.”

“My 13-year-old daughter is like that; come to find out she has overactive glands so no matter how many times she showers, she still stinks she has to wear a special deodorant. Might want to set up a doctor’s appointment and make sure that that’s not the problem; if it’s not, then honesty is always the best way to go.”

“Obviously unsupervised he is not showering, continue to supervise. Wet dog is the correct smell lol, I have 3 boys. They do outgrow it. Get him a good deodorant and make him use it. You may have to supervise that as well. When he complains of no privacy tell him to do the job right and get your privacy back.”

“My husband said since you have tried so much tell him that if he comes out stinking you will go in there and scrub him yourself. Be blunt because being kind has not had an effect. Use a buff puff on a stick and wash him hard (not enough to hurt, you just don’t want it to be a pleasant experience either) with lots of body wash. Also, put that puff in his shorts and wash his butt make him do the front privates with his back to you. Tell him this is what’s going to happen if he comes out stinking and mean it. You might have to do it once or twice - hope not. We had a kid come over to stay with my son and he stunk up my son’s room when he just changed out of muddy pants. I made them shower before bed and got his clothes and washed them in hot water so at least he was pleasant smelling while he was here.”

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READ ALL ANSWERS BELOW:

35 Likes
2

Make him go back and shower again. Rushing through a task to get done faster becomes pointless when you have to do it again and again until it’s right. My kids struggle with properly washing dishes. When that happens, they wash them again. It’s amazing how much better they are about it!

30 Likes
3

Maybe he isn’t drying properly either

3 Likes
4

Most teens go thru this phase…but mama you need to keep on him…

2 Likes
5

Maybe take him to find a soap, shampoo and deodorant that he likes the smell of and see if that encourages him to wash well. Also a fresh towel and wash cloth every bath or two. If all else fails make him wash the couch cover and have him smell it to get him to see why he is needing to

15 Likes
6

We’ve made them get back in the shower and at one point I’ve told them they can shower properly or I can take them outside and hose them down…we live in NY it gets too cold for that.

1 Like
7

Tell him to shower again or you’ll shower him yourself lol

2 Likes
8

Your going to have to be strict with him, and make sure he has good soap deodorant and his clothes are all washed and smell fresh and that he wears clean every day. If he’s smelling so bad I’d be checking to make sure his clothes are all getting a good enough wash first time round.

2 Likes
9

Tell him girls like a man who smells good!

It’s honestly the gross teenage boy years lol

2 Likes
10

If it’s just laziness, give him some negative consequences.

11

So if it’s the dog smell on you his head after showers it’s his head sweating through the day and he needs better shampoo. We went through this. Also when he washes make him leave shampoo in his hair for about a minute. Daily showers

12

I make my son go back in the shower. I talk to him about proper hygiene and the if you aren’t washer his hair and body properly, skin infections, etc.

13

if u gotta supervise then so b it.

1 Like
14

I have the same problem with my almost 7 yr old. I know its a little different because of age, but i just send me back to the shower until hes finally clean. eventually he gets tired of being sent back to the bath that I don’t have to tell him for a few a days, he just does it right the first time. it’ll go a few days on and off. no, play time til he’s clean.

15

Just tell him i know i will

16

I straight up tell him he stinks n that I will smell him when he gets out n if he doesn’t smell clean, his butt will get in there and do it again. Threatening to get in there and wash him yourself tends to work too :rofl:

3 Likes
17

Make him Rebathe and re wash until he is clean

2 Likes
18

Make him get back in the shower. Smell check and oily hair check every time he gets out. I did that a few times for 2 of my boys now I dont have to.

19

My son had the same issue! I took him to a trusted pharmacist and explained how all these products were not working and it was driving me crazy! He said it’s a fungus! He told him to use “Mitchum” it’s a prescribed strength and to wear 100% cotton white tee shirts so sweat can get off his skin. Problem solved like magic!

20

Obviously unsupervised he is not showering, continue to supervise. Wet dog is the correct smell lol, I have 3 boys. They do out grow it. Get him a good deodorant and make him use it. You may have to supervise that as well. When he complains of no privacy tell him do the job right and get your privacy back

2 Likes
21

Rub the shampoo into his dry hair before he goes in … then he can rinse and shampoo again … to be fair I think it’s a hormone thing as lots of teenagers have the same smell x

5 Likes
22

Turn him back to try again. Dont let em sit on the couch if he stinks :joy:

23

We were having the same problem with my nephew, all it took was a sit down with his uncle (dads not around) and he explained that no one will want to be around the stinky boy and no one wants to be picked on for it either tell him here and there like “Duuude no, you STINK like BAD you need a shower, oh my god I cant even sit next to you right now.” He might keep thinking about getting told that all the time amd actually want to smell good, I call it constructive criticism and the kid showers every other day now, might help! But every kid is different too what works with some doesnt work with others😊

24

I never sugar coated it. I told him flat out he stunk and to get his butt back in the shower and bathe right or mommy will come and do it like he was a baby :tipping_hand_woman:t4:

11 Likes
25

Have his Dad or whoever is a male figure in his life take him to get body wash that he likes smell of like axe, old spice, etc. It makes a difference if he likes smell of soap. And gave you asked him if maybe he’s already being bullied and this is his way of rebellion to keep other kids away.

26

Just wash him like he was a baby then. No other way to clean him the way u want him to be cleaned.

27

I had the same problem with my now 17 year old i now make him shower daily and change his clothes he likes hoodies so nope find a different 1. He room still lingers the oder in it but not as bad now that he smells better. I could have swore that smell was death! Comes back if he dont shower daily

28

My grandfather used to make my uncle bathe again and again until he was stench free! Also - ask him how much soap he is using. If he uses too little, he will still stink. My grandfather used to stand outside the shower and make sure he was bathing properly. He did better being watched, still stunk when he didn’t.

29

I’m wondering if there is something medically wrong with him. I had a friend who smelled no Matter how much he bathed and he end up having liver and kidney issues. He had to her on some pretty heavy medications. But the smell reeked through his pours.

30

Son you need to wash better in the shower. You don’t smell to good

31

Complain to him until he smells better. Keep complaining. He walks into a room and tell him he smells so bad you’re going to throw up. If that doesn’t work change the wifi password or take something he likes away.

1 Like
32

I’m starting to think it’s the teenagers these days. I made my son go back several times to rewash because of his sweating after activities. I’m like, “Dude, really?” He already knows… i will say that I’ve noticed bar soap works better for men than body wash as it tends to get them that squeaky clean :wink:

33

At this point it’s not about protecting feelings. Tell him straight up, your freaking smell, it’s disturbing to all of us. When he showers if he’s only in there for 5 min make him go back in. Then take things away. If he’s not old enough to shower properly he’s not old enough to stay up past 9, he’s not old enough to have a phone or video games either.
He’s just being lazy.

3 Likes
34

You should have a conversation with his pediatrician, excessive body odor can be a warning sign. But if you know that’s not it and he comes out stinking send him back in there. He can live in the bathroom until he figures it out.

35

Tell it like it is…

36

Wet dog smell usually comes from towels that have sat on the washer too long and havnt been rewashed before drying… May e take him to a pharmacist and talk to them and get some recommendations…

3 Likes
37

This is probably dumb but… Deodorant? Cologne?

38

My daughter is 12 and when she smells I let her know and she has smelt like a onion from White Castle I tell her like it is

1 Like
39

Yaknow some kids do this to avoid certain abuse. Get him those new scalp scrubbers and a loofah. Let him pick his own wash

40

My step-son will not shower unless we make him and his dad has to get angry before he will. He recently moved to his moms and when he comes for visits he won’t bring clothes with him so he will sleep in his clothes and wear them until he goes back to his moms and it’s disgusting! It doesn’t matter how much he gets told he just doesn’t care. His grandmother had to go buy him a couple outfits while he was visiting last time and she should not have to do that. We have tried everything even telling him no girl is gonna wanna go out with him if he smells. He is 17 yrs old for crying out loud!

1 Like
41

That smells also goes away with consuming enough water

3 Likes
42

Haha my daughter is the same, once they aren’t supervised when washing I’m sure they just stand in their, do they even touch the soap. But seriously she’s come out before with soapy hair and still oily hair, skin doesn’t feel clean. Or when she refused to shower for a day or two I literally just tell her that she needs to shower or that she stinks I’d prefer my parents to tell me rather than a stranger or friends, teachers even. It’s probably better we “hurt” their feelings then anyone else.

1 Like
43

My preteen daughter is going through the same faze, so now I ground her from her phone until she showers correctly.

2 Likes
44

Better you tell him and have him do it again then having the kids at school telling him and being mean to him.

45

Im sorry to say this but you sound like a royal cu%+ who puts a blanket down on furniture so their kids smell doesn’t get on it. Much like most humans we benefit from communication. Your child’s mental health is whats most important. Smelling can be a sign of depression. As a mom of teens instead of shaming them I speak to them. I buy extra body washes, cologne, and body sprays and cool shower items they might like to try. Your kid doesnt smell like wet dog maybe your laundry does. This sounds like maybe he’s depressed or been sexually abused. Some of these comments smh. I can’t imagine hurting my child’s feelings over bs. I literally just told my stinky son, baby get your butt in the shower and soap it down. I even put clothes in there for him.

2 Likes
46

My pre teen daughter is the exact same way. I have to wash her hair done n the sink before she showers because she doesn’t scrub her head. Then it’s a constant reminder to please on deodorant :woman_facepalming:

1 Like
47

Carex shower gel and tell him if he don’t wash you will wash him or get some nice lynx shower gel x

48

Honestly if hes almost a teenaher talk to the doctor, when going through puberty body odor can be stronger depending on glands and development. Excessive odor can be a sign of a problem in the near future. I have 2 daughters who are 10 and 9 in the full puberty phase and I have to use clinical stuff for them to wash. It may not be him not washing honestly he just has overactive glands but it can be horrid to have to smell.

1 Like
49

You could try using a travel size soap - refill it each time so you KNOW he is using soap.
Maybe change his soap, as his body is changing he may need a different type of soap.
If it seems to be a “butt” smell, maybe talk about how to properly wipe.
If it’s a yeast smell, maybe talk about a different underwear that won’t let things touch and sweat and stick.
Then of course there is deodorant that may not be complementary to him.
Then diet… could have a factor.
I would start in the bathroom with the soaps though. I know it’s frustrating but sometimes we have to start back at the basics.
Also, back to the yeast smells, sometimes guys need to throw a bit of powder down there to keep things fresh.
If it’s his hair, I would recommend a short hair cut and a fragrant shampoo.

People have a smell… in general. Doesnt always mean it’s pleasant lol

Another thing - if he is a shower at night or every other day guy, maybe his pillow case needs washed? Maybe he sweats at night and needs to switch to doing his showers in the morning.

6 Likes
50

Also remember a persons body changing doesnt have any particular smell everyone has an individual kind of odor. pheromones

51

Is he rewearing old clothes after shower

52

I would probably start by buying some body washes and deodorant for him and things for him only. Maybe even even some body spray. Things you know won’t bother his skin. I straight up tell my boys they stink if they stink! If he has his own items for hygiene you will know if he is using them. If he is using them and still stinks he needs to see a doctor.

2 Likes
53

It could be depression. I know when I was a teen and my depression hit hard, I would take showers but do bare minimum. (I still never stunk though.)

I’d talk to him and see what’s up, and if necessary get him some help.

54

Do what they do to kids in juvie…

Give him a condiment cup with soap in it and tell him USE IT ALL.

1 Like
55

Does he sweat at night and shower at the end of the day?

56

Quite normal for teenager boys i changed my son from lynx to Mitcham antiperspirant deodorant and the difference is amazing clearly certain deodorants dont work proper but I still make him shower every day n use a body puff to wash himself.

1 Like
57

My son is only 8 and we have this issue as well! I literally make him come to me when he’s done to inspect him and if it’s not up to par he goes back in! He gets pissed sometimes but by the time he comes out of his second shower he’s fine!!

3 Likes
58

Maybe take him to the store and let him choose his body wash

59

Make him go back
And get a timer
I have this one (pic above) to help with my sons brushing habits and it may work for other things as well!

60

Be blunt. “You still stink. Go shower again.”

1 Like
61

I would tell.my boy if. He stunk.My son has his own hygene products now.and he showers every night.Take him to store and let him pick out scents he likes.

62

I’ve had to have children take several showers to get clean. And they learn to do it right the first time when they have to get back in when there’s nothing left but cold water. Don’t give in…

63

The wet dog smell is very common with cradle cap, check his scalp for any yellow or orange build up and if you find any use some baby oil and gently scrub his head with a soft bristled brush to loosen it.

2 Likes
64

Tell him to do it right or he’s only going to be taking bubble baths! Not that there’s anything wrong with baths!

65

Take him shopping allow him pick out his own personal soap and deorarent.
We had a similar issue with our boys. We took them shopping and got them Dove soap and deorarent for men.
I hope this helps as it did with us.

1 Like
66

I’d be honest with my kid. “You need to make sure your washing every part of your body. People will make fun of you.”

67

My husband said since you have tried so much tell him that if he comes out stinking you will go in there and scrub him yourself. Be blunt because being kind has not has an effect. Use a buff puff on a stick and wash him hard (not enough to hurt, you just don’t want it to be a pleasant experience either) with lots of body wash. Also put that puff in his shorts and wash his butt make him do the front privates with his back to you. Tell him this is what’s going to happen if he comes out stinking and mean it. You might have to do it once or twice - hope not. We had a kid come over to stay with my son and he stunk up my sons room when he just changed out of muddy pants. I made them shower before bed and got his clothes and washed them in hot water so at least he was pleasant smelling while he was here.

2 Likes
68

His soap might be incompatible with his body chemistry. Try new products

1 Like
69

How old and does he use deodorant? if not he probably needs to start. If he is fairly active try having him take a shower in the morning and one at night

70

:raising_hand_woman:t2: I have to tell my kid that I can smell she didn’t use her deodorant :woman_shrugging:t2:
Bullies for what, these kids don’t care :joy:

71

Make him take a bath instead of shower. That way he can soak a while. That may help temporarily. Does he have a male in his life who could give “man-to-man” pointers?

72

Thats a dad conversation

73

I am pretty honest with my kid. She has come a long ways, but her younger version had no time for hygiene.

74

How do you tell your son? Tell him he smells and wash properly…have you showed him how to wash properly when he was a kid?

75

I flat out ask my boys if they shower quickly… Did you scrub your stinky parts good?

76

I have an almost 18 year old son and I’m sorry but I told him straight out that he smells, told him to go shower and put deodorant on or he wasn’t getting in my vehicle or coming anywhere near me. To me being bluntly honest works best, he does as he’s told! My daughter that is almost 13 is starting to go thru the same thing and I went for her deodorant and everything she needs and when she don’t wear it and smells I also tell her all about it, she is doing better with it but there are still times I have to make her shower and put deodorant on! I can not stand anything that smells bad!

1 Like
77

Boy if u don’t wash ur stinky ass !!! :rofl::woman_shrugging:

78

I don’t care what anyone thinks of me … This is what I said to my stinky teenage Boy … So how’s the Chrusties growin around ya doodle going :laughing: I only had to say it once cause he got super shame !! And I said it in front of his dad so he jumped in the shower straight away !! My boy went from a stinky teenager to smelling sweet as now & his bedroom smells beautiful :joy:

3 Likes
79

Maybe it’s your laundry smelling like that :woman_shrugging:t2:
But just tell him no one wants to be the stinky kid. Wash better, wear deodorant.

80

Say, you stink! Go shower again!

81

How often are his clothes and bedding washed? X

82

Make him shower again if he isn’t clean

83

He is at the age where he might be interested in girls so just tell him girls don’t like stinky boys. It worked when I told my boys that. JS

1 Like
84

Tell him he can’t shower for less than 10 minutes. Tell him if he smells when he gets out he will get right back in. Do a check after. Make sure his bedding is washed weekly. My son is 7 and showers wonderfully. I told him if he didn’t wash correctly his penis would turn black & fall off🤷🏼‍♀️ he definitely didn’t like that idea and uses extra care. We have a Google mini in the bathroom and will play 2-3 songs and that’s how he times his showers.

85

I had a friend in high school who always smelled. I knew that she showered every day. Doctors couldn’t find anything, but her dentist did. Even though her teeth didn’t hurt, some kind of infection was there. After a lot of dental work, the smell went away.

86

Boys have a natural smell. I promise. I thought the same about my son and no amount of soap and water will change it. He will grow out of it though. So just tough it out till then.

87

Be honest :woman_shrugging:t2: my brothers 13 and I straight up tell him he smells like ass if he does, don’t want him picked on by other people & I don’t want to smell it either.

Boys naturally smell yes but cmon now.
Also would try switching what he washes with!

88

Out there where the flowers were do you know where we burn all the gumballs right there

89

I make my 10 year old get back in the shower. I’ve figured out he likes to think that just water gets rid of body odor and dirt. Also could force him to have a very short haircut. Could be a bit mean but straight tell him he stinks and needs to shower again. He is a teenager at what point is being “nice” a hinderance?

90

I have a ten year old and i told him i had to go in with him because he wasn’t showering well and I stood there and showed him how to do it better now than when he’s older

91

be honest with him…BLUNT HONEST…before a friend or stranger does it for you. Make him return and rebath.

92

I have a 5 year old soon to be 6 and his head smells like wet dog :roll_eyes:.
I do still scrub his head and he still smells until I realized that he needs a sports shampoo as he sweats a lot while doing anything that requires exercise or just moving.
Might give it a try and it might just help him out too🤗.

93

Does he game? Does he have consoles. That might be his problem. Rushing a shower to get back to his games. Tell him if he doesn’t start cleaning properly, no more games. Trust me, you will smell a difference after that threat

94

Hurt his feelings. Best way to do it honestly.

2 Likes
95

Tell his behind to get back in. And make him take as many showers until he smells better. He will get irritated and start washing right the first time. Works like a charm

96

Maybe he has allergies that’s making his body smell

97

there is probably something he would like to have that you can withhold until he starts showering properly. I had a daughter like that(her sisters were the opposite!), she wanted to get her ears pierced and I told her when she showered everyday and brushed/flossed every day without me nagging her for at least 3 months she could have her ears done. Figured it would become a habit by then and it worked. though she was only 10 at the time–have to wonder if there are underlying issues for a teen–depression maybe?

1 Like
98

If he gets out not clean make him get back in. Get rude if you have to but if that’s what it takes then so be it.

99

Just like a stinking dog out side or wash up .

100

Make him shower again my 12 yr old son is the same i just make him redo till he actually does it properly