I called my state’s child support office and they did everything
1 Like
If you go for child support just remember he can go to court anytime and get rights to the baby as well
3 Likes
Just because you ask for child support. Doesn’t mean he’ll pay it. I guess my question is, are you doing it cause you need the help, or are you doing it cause he’s not acknowledging his child. My personal opinion is. If he don’t want to be involved. Don’t force him. It’s his loss. Another man is gonna come along and earn the right to be the baby’s father.
Don’t get nothing from him. Have him sign over his rights and cut your losses. There are other avenues you can’t take for support.
3 Likes
If the “father” don’t want the child then don’t even bother requesting child support cause 10 out of 10 he ain’t gonna pay that shit so why even be worried about him being on the birth certificate be glad he ain’t cause otherwise let’s say this u put him on the birth certificate that means he has every rights to go and take that child with or without ur permission meaning he could kidnap that baby and take it wherever he wants to and there’s nothing u can do about it and if he’s not gonna pay child support or be around the baby then don’t even bother putting his name on the birth certificate
He helped make the baby he should help support it. Simple.
I wouldn’t worry about putting him on the birth certificate, it just complicates things later on if he has no involvement in the child’s life but you still need permission to travel overseas etc…
Just get the DNA done and apply for child support.
8 Likes
Personally, I say if he doesnt wanna b around and u have a good support system get him to sign away his right. Less drama down the line. Baby deserves a secure and loving environment to grow up in.
3 Likes
I feel like anyone who would think, “if a mother needs child support, she shouldn’t have that child” is ignorant as hell & should count themselves lucky they’ve never found themselves in a position where they made a human being with ANOTHER PERSON & then are left to deal with it on their own. If a man thinks he doesn’t need to take responsibility, what’s wrong with a woman taking responsibility & doing what’s necessary to raise her child?? Screw anyone who thinks otherwise. With that being said 
typically if you file for any type of assistance with your state, they will automatically go after the father for support. Or you could file directly with child support. A quick google search of “child support” & your state name should guide you in the right direction. Just know it can take time.
14 Likes
Nothing is wrong with child support. It takes 2 to make a baby. It shouldn’t just be one parent supporting the child.
With that said, putting him on CS won’t make him be involved. He could pay & still not be a father. Starting the process depends on your state, but just look up your local offices. Here, there is forms you can file online to get the process started.& they typically do a DNA test before anything else to establish paternity.
1 Like
Your child is 100% entitled to child support. File for child support immediately and you need to get an attorney to assist you in obtaining a legal custody and visitation agreement to put in place. Look for low-cost or income based legal services in your area if your financial situation requires it
2 Likes
I live in Iowa, when I went through Child Support Recovery when my son was about 2-3 months old, his father had seen him once. He signed the paperwork, was supposed to pay $50 a month, and he was put on the birth certificate. My son is now (almost) 23, has seen his father 10x tops and in those 23 years, I’m lucky to have received $1000(?) Sometimes you have to pick your battles.
1 Like
You will have to go through the courts now to establish paternity and also they will give you information on the process of opening up a case with your local child support office hope this helps
1 Like
If you receive welfare, social services will file for child support on your behalf and will get paternity testing done.
1 Like
I wouldn’t because next you will have to fight for him to pay if he’s not willing to pay.
You might get more support fro govt as single mum.
1 Like
Go to your local child support office, they will ask you a series of questions like…
Are you married to him
Is he on the birth certificate
Do you need to establish paternity? Or need a DNA test?
Answer these truthfully. They will ask if you know his address or place of employment. After filling out all of the appropriate paperwork for you, child and father, they will get to work on your case which will also include paternity testing. If he is the father, depending on the state, he will pay and if he is not, you will pay.
Unless things have changed, these are the questions I had and what I was told.
I was married and he was already on birth certificate, but they had to go through everything with me as if he wasn’t in case he wanted a test done on either kids. Good luck 
You have the right to child support even if the father IS involved with the baby. Unless the father is already buying diapers, wipes, clothes, formula, etc… take his ass to court now. They can do retro support from the day the baby was born.
Get him for support but don’t worry about the birth certificate, let him do that and if he never does then that’s on him not you but yes he helped make baby so he should help support baby. Keep in mind tho, just because you get an order for support that doesn’t mean you’ll get it cause far too many dead beat parents run from it.
1 Like
If you go after support and put him on the birth certificate he now has the right to go after shared custody. Are you willing to only see your kid 50% of the time for the support??
If a woman can decide not to have a baby without discussing it with the father, than a father should be able to decide he doesn’t want a child without consulting the mother. If he doesn’t want to be a dad, leave him be. Don’t take him for child support. If you do take him for child support and put him on the certificate, at ANY point he can fight you for custody and he will have rights. The courts are very big on trying to harbour a relationship with biological father too. I have not long been through mediation etc.
2 Likes
He helped u make the baby he needs to pay.
1 Like
Remember, if you establish paternity, he has a right to the child. If he isn’t father material, then maybe it’s best to leave him off and go it alone.
Just because they are court ordered to pay child support doesn’t mean they will! My ex is over $10000 behind. Good luck
1 Like
If you file for help from the state, they will make you name the father and go after him.
Soon male birth control will be a normal thing and this crap won’t happen.
Get sole custody of your son. He obviously isn’t interested in being a father or a relationship with you. He should pay child support but I wouldn’t count on it. Some guys are worthless people.
What about if you receive help from the state that you live in and the state you live in wants to know who the father is so he can help support the child/children? What do they consider that? I live in Michigan. My son’s sperm donor (father) only has to pay $3/month which is medical but also considered child support and he only pays when he wants to, gets supervised visits and hasn’t seen my son since, he was three years old and my son just turned seven years old. I wish he would just pay the money and not have seen my son.
One of the best things I ever did was keep my daughter’s father off her birth certificate. Just in case for some reason I had to protect her from him down the line. I was a very young mom and knew he showed signs of being no good. Fast forward 17 years later without ever receiving child support and raising her alone and I would do it all again. At 11 she found him and i supported her attempt at a relationship, little did I know he would attempt to make her life and mine hell for the next three years. The ONLY thing protecting us was that I never had him on the birth certificate so he had to rely on my approval for anything with her which in some capacity I allowed her to have an opinion on. THINK OF THE FUTURE and where you see things headed. It’s an uphill battle from the begining sometimes.
20 Likes
If I could go back and NOT file, I would in a heartbeat. Now my daughter is being abused for the second time in her life and the people in place to protect her aren’t, the court system, counselors and everyone that gets involved is money hungry, not looking at what is best for the child. I’d gladly go back and do it all on my own if I could and not even try to involve him because it’s clear he hasn’t and still doesn’t want to be a dad.
21 Likes
It took two of you to make that baby. He has half the responsibility as well. Absolutely go for paternity and child support. It’s what’s right for the child. If he doesn’t want a relationship that is his business. But the child deserves to have the support of both the people that created him.
25 Likes
It takes two people to make a baby. The child support is not you being selfish. If you don’t, you are taking away opportunities afforded to your child having a better life. Being selfish is not fighting and taking the easy path. Even a few hundred dollars can mean the difference in having food and clothes. And as the child ages, those are necessities and will be hard to manage alone. Best of luck to you
6 Likes
No it would be selfish and taking from the baby if you didn’t make sure you knew who the father is and get child support so the child can have a more stable life financially. Not intentionally being rude here, but these are my thoughts as a child raised by a mom who never told my father she was pregnant.
3 Likes
The purpose of child support is to give the child the same financial stability they’d have with 2 parents. He owes that to your child.
Support and custody are completely separate issues. You can go to the court and have someone there help you fill out paperwork for support or file through the dept of revenue (can take over a year). If he then decides since he is paying that he wants to see his child he will have to file with the court for visitation. But visitation won’t change the amount of support.
Since you weren’t married you have sole custody until a court says differently, and a court won’t even touch on that in a support case. Good luck to you. I know how hard it can be. You’re doing great!
it’s not even worth it to fight for child support. You don’t need some a hole who doesn’t want to be part of his child’s life. Just concentrate on you and your baby. If he doesn’t want to help you or know his child that’s his loss. You’ve got this without him.
1 Like
This is just me but I wouldn’t force a man to do anything… if they aren’t willingly involved I would be afraid of what might happen to the child if left alone with them (I’m not only talking physically- mental and emotional wellbeing is just as important! ) just something to think about
6 Likes
If he pays support then he may be able to fight for visitation. Would it make life easier on you and your child if you just let him go? Will y’all suffer more if he does try to get partial custody? Think about both sides.
1 Like
You didn’t make this baby by yourself, so you shouldn’t do it by yourself even though you may. I’d get paternity established because if something happens to him, you will be able to get his benefits. It’s not about you being bitter or anything, it’s about taking care of your child. Everyone could use a little more monetary assistance. You can do bad by yourself. Contact him via email or text messages so you’ll have something in writing in case he want to try something slick. Offer times and days he can come see the child and let him continue not responding. Best of luck
4 Likes
File,don’t put on bc as I assume you have already registered child. I get support for my child and he’s been out her life 10 years, he still has a responsibility to the child. If he is not willing to acknowledge child leave him to it but still file.
5 Likes
My son’s donor, met him and even spent time with him then disappeared. I don’t need anything from him. He knows he has a son but is not even worthy to be called dad or father. Super happy with no drama.
4 Likes
My eldest son is 15 next month, his dad has never seen him. I contacted child maintenance and he refused to acknowledge paternity, however, he refused a DNA test too. Their outlook was he was the father unless he was willing to prove otherwise. He never has and I’ve received money for the past 14 years xx
4 Likes
Is it in the child’s best interest to know the dad? If the father is on the BC, he cannot be taken off later should you marry and the new spouse wants to adopt without the presumed father signing over his rights. In some states he can’t. You can’t nor do you want to MAKE someone see their child. But CS can be forced. Choose wisely
4 Likes
Absolutely go for the child support! Even if you don’t get it every month, the second he does his taxes you will get it all! When i did this, my son turned 12 and i received over $5000 of back pay. That always comes at a great time🥰 the birth certificate stuff is up to you. There a lot of pros and cons to it. Good luck with everything
1 Like
Dont do anything !! You open yourself & your child up to a lot of headache … someday Im sure you will find a man and have a family Why let or push this deadbeat to be a dad ?! If its getting a job or being strapped now then so be it . You are and Moms are AlwAYs a 100% responsible for their choice in having babies . Good luck YoU can do it !! You had 9 mos to accept that this new life with all its blessings comes huge responsibility!! You got this !!
1 Like
I would most definitely establish paternity and get child support. It’s not easy raising kids. Regardless if he wants to be involved or not, it will be beneficial for both you and baby and THAT is what matters.
There is a lot of misinformation on this post, or it varies depending on the state you’re in. Hell, it even depends on the judge you have for your case. Best advice is talk to a child support case worker or lawyer for family law in your area and understand legalities of any decision. Heads up, in Wisconsin, if you apply for specific benefits like child care assistance or W2, etc. unless you have a good cause claim filed they will send that info to child support and a case will automatically be opened. That’s what happened to me, my daughter was 6months old when dad left and I applied for help. The help I applied for triggered child support to take action. Again, best course is to talk directly with your local child support agency. Other people’s opinions doesn’t matter. Best of luck and congrats on your baby!
Shit like this makes me sad. Involved, happy, fathers make such a difference for their children. But let me tell you,
My father finally wanted something to do with me when I was five. It took him five years to assume responsibility, and then he fell into a spiral of depression and alcoholism that played a huge part in my childhood.
From “the child’s” view, I would’ve much rather seen my parents apart and bicker about child support than watch them tear each other apart.
Let that man do himself and take care of his own business. Go mail some court paperwork and kick back and smell the roses 
I really think it goes by state. When we did paternity to establish the child support order, the father was asked if he wanted to set up visitation. He told the court that him and I could decide it, without a court order. With him doing that it left all decisions to me. He never wanted any visitation, he just said it. In Wyoming though if you choose not to set it up with the court it is the custodial parents decision. I would look up what your state dictates for rights of the child through the “parents” actions and the court. Because my sons “father” chose to not set up visitation, it is completely up to me.
Child support and the father being in the child’s life are two very different things. Support helps you provide things for your child that you couldn’t otherwise afford. Or better things than you can do on your own. The father being involved is not going to happen unless he wants to be involved. Paying support is not going to change that. He clearly does not want to be involved. If his name is not on the certificate, and you feel it should be, then go after court ordered paternity. Some states won’t force that unless you are going for support. Remember going the support and paternity route comes with a whole set of problems like the nightmare shared custody can be. Even if he has no interest in being a parent. If he wants to be involved, he will be. Otherwise you are setting yourself up for a lot of drama. I’m assuming you’ve done some soul searching, and you’re not holding out hope that the baby will bring you back together. This would be a very bad plan. If you decide against support and forcing a paternity test, then keep all of dad’s information, like full name, birthrate, social security number if you already have it, and last known address. It will make it easier for your son to find him later if he is ever curious.
1 Like
Have a child with a deadbeat, name the father on the birth certificate, and hope he keeps a job? 
Was he aware? Did he want the child? Whether he did or not, he should still be at the very least financially responsible on his end. It takes two. You can’t have a baby with yourself unless you pay big bucks.
Child Support sure… on the birth certificate? I wouldn’t… if you can make one without the other happen… sadly… this happens all of the time.
He still should have some sort of responsibility sad it has to be enforced if he ia not willing to see him then he is pretty much leaving it all up yo you. Do what you have to do! Filing for child support dosnt ensure you will get it some people are just dead beat all the way around … Thats “my” opinion! (From lots of experience)
1 Like
For me personally I don’t like child support ONLY because Idw to force someone to be around if they don’t want to. Yes it’s hard financially but it’s not impossible. In my situation I feel like if the father wanted to be involved he would do so willingly and not because the state is making him. I feel like without child support being involved u see the true intentions of a “father” again just my opinion
There are some crazy comments on here. Yes, you can and should file, it’s on him to establish a relationship with the child. But he has to help pay for the upbringing. It doesn’t matter if he pays child support or not, if he decides he wants to “have rights” or “get custody” then he can do that either way.
First of all, just file for child support. If he hasnt seen or doesnt want to have anything to do with the child, who cares. His loss. Been there done that! He doesnt deserve to have his name on the birth certificate. However. Its still his responsibility to pay child support. You didnt make them on your own! File. Everything else will fall into place.
If you file for child support then he can have rights to the child until he is of legal age to make his own decisions. My advice is if he didn’t have the courtesy to come when offered then he really doesn’t need to be involved in any aspect of that child’s life.
DO NOT LISTEN TO THAT NONSENSE! Even if you don’t “need” the child support, you should get it. You didn’t make this baby on your own, and he needs to be responsible. You have to realize that every dime you receive will help your child. Even if it just goes into a savings for college. You have tried to do this between you 2 and he refuses… now use your resources. Seek child support through the state and they will get the ball rolling… I will tell you this… just because you establish paternity does not mean he will be in the baby’s life. They can force him to pay (even if it’s very little) but they can not force him to have visitation.
For peace of mind, I’d reach out and say “hey… I really want to keep things cordial. I’d love to be able to discuss this as adults and not get the state/court involved. But if you refuse to even try to be in your child’s life, then you leave me no choice. Please let me know how you wish to proceed.” And leave it at that
1 Like
If you go for support since he didn’t sign the BC, they will have to establish paternity first and then it goes to support
1 Like
Maybe father hasn’t come around because he feels the child isn’t his. Maybe once paternity is established he will feel differently. But at least he will know 100%. There are pros and cons to doing it and not. Is the father a responsible person? Would you feel comfortable leaving your child with him for weekly visits alone? Will he protect that child? Only you know the answers to those questions. You do what you think is best for your child.
If he’s refusing to take care of his child, then do what you feel is best. No grown man should be forced to take care of his child…whether you need financial support or not. Establishing paternity will automatically set the ball in motion, but if you think he’ll go for custody…file fir that as well. I wouldn’t leave that in the air, some men can be vindictive.
Depends where you live.
Colorado is pro 50/50, if you don’t want him having 50/50 custody I’d leave him off the birth certificate and not ask for support. There are programs that you should look into.
He shouldn’t get off without helping financially but I’d take a look at the risks of doing so.
1 Like
Personally if the dad had no interest in being around then I wouldn’t want anything from him. I’d cut him off completely. But you can have him served if you really want too. IMO it’s easier to raise the child without the dead beat being able to come in and out because there’s a high chance he’ll also be given visitation rights. That kind of thing can damage the child…
Go to DSS/DFS/DHS whatever it’s called where you’re at and file for child support. Filing for child support will NOT put him on the BC, it will only put him on Child Support. You’ll have to modify the babies BC to get him added on. To modify you’ll need a signed recognition of parentage from (signed by both you and the dad) Also, contrary to popular belief just because he is ON the BC it does NOT give him legal rights. He will have to establish legal rights thru custody/visitation motions in court. Filing for CS will start with paternity testing then based on that they will put an order in place based on his income.
I am more than willing to answer any questions you have as I am going through anything and everything child support/custody related right now.
If I could go back in time and do things differently I’d definitely cut my child’s “father” out of her life. He’s given me grief from day one and I just wish he was never in me or my child’s life. If the father isn’t interested in your child, leave him out completely. It will save you a whole lot of trouble, fighting and stress.
Depends on the State you live in I know here in Georgia my son in law a 12 year old he doesn’t have his last name but he take a paternity test which you can tell he is his son he looks just like him and he gets him every weekend to every other weekend I’ve got him right now along with the other two boys while they work and I think he is paying child support but he can decide who he wants to be with in another year or two.
I left my sperm donor alone. He wasn’t ready to be a parent at the time and I wanted to keep to the baby. I have no hard feelings 
You might regret this later, I did. My 17 year old, dad I’ve known since 15. At age 27 I got pregnant with her. He was separated and they got back together (him and his wife). She has not allowed him to see her. Everytime I tried, she made them move. She has a lot of emotional trouble, dealing with why does he want his other 3 girls and not her. She also got into some trouble and he out of the blue showed up to the courthouse, told me what a horrible parent I was last summer. Remember he had seen her 2x in 16yrs. Then, when I asked for help he told me too sign my rights away he would and throw her away. The judge helped us put her in a program and proud to say her life is turned around. She just graduated a year ahead and 1 week after she turned 17. I didn’t “throw” her away. In the state of Michigan if you get ins help thru the state they automatically put father’s name on and establish paternity. I do regret saying I know who. Just things to think about.
Whether or not he wants to see the baby, does not get him out of responsibility. He helped make the baby, so he should support the child.
Go file for paternity at your local attorney generals office ( he can’t deny paternity)and they’ll put him on child support automatically once the test results are in
There’s no shame in getting child support…but in all honesty, count your blessings for having a deadbeat vs a vindictive piece of work like I’ve got for a bd. Go to DSS and they will be able to help get him on cs.
Your child deserves at least the opportunity to have their father in their life. It’s not about you or the father; it’s about the child. If the father shits on that, that’s on him, not you, but you can sleep soundly knowing you were fair.
Sweetheart take the hit and walk away. Stop reaching out, stop contacting, stop trying to force what clearly isn’t there. It also sounds like you need to analyze your reasons for seeking child support. Is it because you need help or because you want to hit him where it hurts? He has very clearly shown you where he stands with you and the baby, you need to let go and start moving forward. That man doesn’t want anything to do with you guys so don’t keep begging him to be a part of something he doesn’t deserve to be a part of.
The minimum a parent has to do in my books is child support. If he doesn’t want a relationship it’s better he stays away then coming in and out but he also made the baby and he is responsible to provide.
I would ask him if he’s interested in having a relationship with your child and see what he says if no say how do you want to go about support then if yes, how do you want to about support and visitation.
Don’t let people think your some evil person for wanting him to share the financial responsibility for your child.
Same situation… file for the support. He doesn’t have to be in your sons life. If he doesn’t try on his end to make an effort it’s his loss. BUT KEEP DOCUMENTATION!!! And don’t add him on the certificate. It’s more of a hassle to get things done then just you being on it. But yes you file for that child support!
There’s alot of things that come into play… most states require that the other parent is paying child support before you can get state benefits… also some states will put him on the birth certificate after a DNA test has established paternity … if he’s on the birth certificate there’s alot of things in the future to think about not just the here and now … I would get a free consultation(if available im your area) from a custody lawyer and work out all of the details including what can happen in the long run… they would know all of the up to date laws and regulations since they seem to change fairly quickly
In Georgia if the mother or father is on the birth certificate then they have rights to the child unless their rights are turned over by a court.
But also in Georgia if you are married then the husband can be legally held responsible for and had rights to the child until a paternity test is done to clear him. I know someone this happened to, they were split more than 5 years before she got pregnant.
I do believe every parent should take the responsibility of raising their child one way or the other.
So I think I varies state-to-state. So don’t take advice on here go to your local child support office or an attorney.
I’ve been taking care of my child by myself since was 1 and she will be 11 in July. Child support has her dad info because they have to but I’m not taking him for child support because i don’t want to go through the hassle of the bs court system and cuz i been doing it by myself this long and i got the rest of her life to go.
Just file for child support through the state. Paternity will have to be established through a DNA test unless he voluntarily acknowledged its his kid. Don’t be one those women who waits years out of fear or whatever then slams the dude with back pay…thats fucked up and unfair. Just file now
Be aware that a lot of times what happens when moms go asking for child support, dads start asking for visitation ect. A LOT of mommas I know have been upset by this. I think it’s great for both to be involved but know if you don’t want him there this might trigger a custody hearing
Just remember with established paternity and child support comes father’s rights. He will be entitled to some custody. Only you can decide what the right decision is with that information. Good luck, and congrats on a precious baby
I personally, don’t have my daughters father on the birth certificate or on child support. She’s almost 6 and he’s never met her. (His choice) I tried for 3 years. Now I’m engaged to be married and my hubby is planning to petition for adoption
If you are in the US you have to establish paternity before child support. If he’s on the birth certificate and doesn’t debate paternity then it goes from there.
However, just because someone is on child support doesn’t mean they will pay it. My ex husband was put on child support through our divorce case, in 2012. He was threatened with his license taken away, taxes taken, and jail time all by a judge. He didn’t start paying until 2020 when he got a job and the job takes it from his check.
Ask for it but never count on it.
File. If he doesn’t want to.be involved that choice is his. Your child has the right to know who their biological parents are. Medical, mental health are some examples. He can sign his rights over. Just because he pays doesn’t give him rights. Of you recieve any kind of benefit from the state. They should be able to help you too.
Go for support and establish custody now so it doesn’t turn into a big mess later
I’m not sure what state you live in but I’m in NC & here if you get any kind of government assistance, medicaid, food stamps or anything like that & you & the father are not together you have to allow them to file for child support, they will automatically do a paternity test & if his name is not on the birth certificate once the paternity test is done & it proves he’s the father they automatically put his name on the birth certificate. Even if you had put someone else’s name on it at the hospital, once they prove he’s the father his name goes on it.
This is what I did. In my situation… First born. It was similar but add months to it. I filed. They do two appt resets before they move forward w your word that he is the father. Now, my daughter father did a DNA outside before hand so that wasn’t an issue. They made the order and set it. Payment and visitation. If they have an issue it’s up to the mom custodial parent to resolve the issue themselves. BUT yes, it does give him visitation rights to your child. That’s been the case for both my daughters. The ONLY difference is they will give you SUPERVISED visitation w your baby bc he has not been around. Just bring it up. Bc again. This was from my personal experience. After that it’s up to HIM to do visitation. Not you. You did not lay down alone and make this child. So I personally do not feel your wrong for doing it. You can’t MAKE SOMEONE BE A FATHER. But legally, you can MAKE them support their blood. 
Best of luck.
Personally feel if dad doesn’t want the baby he shouldn’t be forced to care for it. But if you want child support file for it, only your business.
First off… paternity alone Will establish his paternity… you don’t need to put him on the birth certificate. He can get the papers… if he chooses to put himself… then let him do it. It will be easier in the future for you by not adding him to the birth certificate. If you put him on, and he chooses not to be in his life anyways… it does nothing for you. But I agree with you… put him on child support and make him take care of the baby you guys made together… it’s his responsibility too…
I’d go for support and leave him off the birth certificate. It’ll simplify your life later, especially if you ever want to get your child a passport.
Do not put him on the BC. You can still get child support from him though.
You can file for child support at the courts. They automatically sent me the paperwork. If he doesn’t show, they’ll assume he’s admitting to being the father and make him pay.
Do NOT put him on the birth certificate! If he’s refusing to see that child, you don’t want to give him rights in the event of an emergency.
I went through something very similar with my boy. Good luck!
Okay so my opinion may be odd since I’m in Canada so the laws around it etc are different. Here custody and support are seperate (at least in my Provence) I’d put him on the birth certificate, so later down the line if your child needs any of their information it can be gotten. That being said, you seem to have already been told by him that he wants nothing to do with the child, the next step is to go and file for sole custody and for him to have visitations at his discretion but not mandatory (he won’t take them up most likely but you have given him the option to see the child) then once you have that custody order filed (you should bring any evidence you have of him saying he doesn’t want to be in the child’s life) go apply for support as you have a claim in for sole custody if he has an issue with support get your family lawyer to talk to the judge and they can have it put in the file that child support won’t be changed unless he accesses his visitations regularly for x amount of time. Men who don’t want to actively be in their child’s life will pay the small amount support takes for the child over actively being in the child’s life.
Also some people in here seem to think supports just something women go after… I have a brother who is raising his kids on his own and his baby mamas pay support, so it’s not just women wanting more money by going for support it’s a legit thing both sides of the equation have to do if they don’t have the financials to raise a baby with the income of 2 people…also idk how it works there but from what I’ve seen online depending on your state to get support dna has to be proven through the government and they automatically put the dad’s name on the birth certificate because with dna there’s no way to say they’re not the dad if they are
Just snag some of his DNA, cross it with the baby’s and you’ll have your answer there.
As long as you have his DOB and his full name you can run a DNA test on him.
As for the child support thing? If he didn’t bother to see the baby then he shouldn’t bother seeing the baby at all and he needs to pay for the consequences of squirting in your cooter.
If he doesn’t do it voluntarily you have to have him petitioned to establish paternity. He can also sign away his rights in which case you won’t get child support.
I’m just going to give you my two cents… If this is how the first two months have gone, let him go sis. You and your son will be much better off with out him. No amount of child support will be worth the bullshit that might ensue down the road from a father who doesn’t want to be involved. Do what is best for you and your baby and do it on your own.
My baby’s dad left right before our baby was born, he’s not on the birth certificate and I’m gonna leave it that way. Right now he has no legal rights to our baby and it makes me more comfortable, he can still see him whenever ( usually every 3-4 days for 15 minutes ) and when and if he does decide to want to be on the birth certificate that’s fine, and I’ll go to court and get a parenting plan set up. And potential child support. But I sleep better at night knowing my baby ain’t going anywhere. And I personally don’t need child support… but do what you feel is best for you two! 
^ and btw I encourage him to spend more time with him more frequently but he says he’s too busy. I do not keep baby away from him.
Do not put him on the birth certificate. Then he can pick the child up from wherever. You can still get him for child support but please god do not put him on the certificate
Go to your local county, in your state office department of human services/ child support offices. Each state and county are different. They’ll show you how.
Don’t put the dad on the birth certificate. Go through your attorney general office and get a child support case going, get a court ordered paternity test done.
It’ll vary state to state… but You file for it via your local DHHS office. They will reach out to the father and attempt to establish paternity. If he doesn’t do it, they typically assume he is the father and will start the process. If he doesn’t show up to the hearing to establish support, they’ll automatically set an amount and go from there.
Depending on the state, they’ll automatically add him to the birth certificate, too. No one has to do it, they automatically just file for the change to be made.
Here’s where it does get messy. Again, depending on the state, having the father added to the birth certificate can automatically give him just as many rights as you have. He could take your child and no one will do anything without a court order for custody…
Definitely check your state laws and see what’s what!
I love not having my sons father on his birth certificate. I have the day so in every aspect. It really won’t matter if u don’t think he’ll pay child support anyway
In my state, when establishing paternity, they will put him on the birth certificate. He can either sign an AOP (acknowledgement of paternity) or request a paternity test first. After child support papers are filed he’ll be summoned for mediation to establish child support monthly payments and insurance if he doesn’t have child covered. If he fails to show up, they’ll summon him for a court appearance. If he fails to show up to that, they start payments based on what info they have about his income. Also, because they’ll have established paternity, he CAN pick up the baby from school or daycare and teachers can’t do anything about it unless mom has a legal letter stating he’s not allowed, like court signed document.
Oh, but you can get child support started without establishing paternity. When they summon him, they’ll give him the opportunity to establish it or contest it. If he doesn’t show, they’ll give another opportunity and then start payments. He’ll have to pay monthly for insurance and monthly for child support; 2 separate payments but insurance most likely will go to the state. Also, if you receive state assistance, they’ll automatically open a child support case for you or you’ll lose your benefits. That’s all based on my state, though. I’m sure others are different.
Honestly I would leave him off the birth certificate, not ask for a penny and get on with it.
Problem with the birth certificate and if you ask for maintenance is that if he in the future decides he wants something to do with the child and that could be years and years later, in the eyes of a court a child should see their dad and forget the past so he would be awarded visits, if he doesn’t pay a penny at his choice and isn’t on the birth certificate at his own choice then he has very little he can do.
If a man wants to be the child’s dad he will be in whatever way he can be, and it’s as simple as that.
The only thing is if this is his first I would go with a man not fully understanding as a woman carries for 9 months you get use to the changes get to know the baby while inside where as a man doesn’t so it’s possible he has to become use to the Idea but this can’t be used forever.
Just what I would advise which may seem like a lifetime away when a baby is only 7 weeks but it really does go fast is if he choices not to be around the child growing up then i just say always be honest with the child once one is old enough to understand.
Yea. If he hasn’t even tried to see him. He shouldn’t be on the birth certificate. Call your local child support office and tell them you want to get started putting him on it.