First off, as I have seen so many times before with friends and family, your abuser is using your own values as the bars of your cell. You are doing time for a crime he commits every day. If you want to escape, you’re gonna have to want it bad because that will require you to make a change in values. The moment you stop seeing him as the rich and powerful to your poor and helpless is the moment you discover your own freedom.
1 Like
Also get a hold of samaritan house they will help you.
Oh baby girl, I’ve been there…
Squirrel money away as much as you can. Reach out to local shelters for guidance…
1 Like
Go to a domestic violence shelter, it’ll be scary and hard but you can do it!!! They will help you get on your feet. Things will only get worse if you stay. Good Luck!!!
Get out off that relationship it will be the best thing too doo
Dude call u dad tell him what’s happening call the cops report his abuse if psychical, listen it’s never easy making these choices but do u want ur baby to grow up seeing u unhappy ? N getting beat ? Do it and if not for yourself for the child
Reach out for help anyway you can and go, just leave. It’s going to be hard but you can do it.
It’s very hard to leave an abusive man because you never know how he’ll react. Just be sure you are ready to leave for good because if you go back the restrictions and behaviour will get worse. I would contact your family (28 hours away🙈) and ask them to buy you an air ticket to where they are. As far away as possible. (You can pay them back when you’re on your feet) Ask a Neighbour (or break the ice with your father) to take you to the airport. Having said this I have no idea whether your family has the financial means to help with a flight or whether you even have an airport near you. Good Luck!
You’ll find a way. I’ve been in your shoes, I made it. It wasn’t easy but I have rebuilt my life from a duffle bag and it has worked out. It will be okay
1 Like
Before saying anything, Make copies of all documents, such as bank docs, mortgage, car loan and pink slip-even if your name isn’t on it. Tax records, birth certs… Copy ALL docs. Also digitize all pics! Start researching domestic violence shelters. Find one that’s farthest away, preferably in a different city. Go to social services and explain. Have a post office box for mail you won’t want him seeing! Once all that is done, take the baby and go to the domestic violence shelter. They help with counseling, clothes, food, attorney advice, etc. do it fast. You need out of there soon!
No one make u do nothing u did it because u wanted 2 it is time to leave n start over
Young lady get put now .Tell the proper authorities you plan to take children and leave some how find a way it will only get worse and maybe violent he is not with it piece of shit
Take ur child and go the 28 hours away to your family
16 Likes
You are feeling desperate right now, believe me start g again with a small child is never ideal but there are people to help you, house you and help you build a happy healthy life for you and your daughter. Try and put any passports, bank details etc and hide them and as soon as its safe get out of there, phone the police or woman’s aid please please get your daughter and get to a place of safety hun xxx
2 Likes
Run! Thats abuse… Sounds like hes controlling you financially and making you completely dependent upon him for everything I’ve been in relationships like that it’s abuse, so pack up your child and go to your family
2 Likes
Call your local women in crisis shelter.
9 Likes
Oh honey there are people and places that can help you. Will your family come and take you and your daughter away from this horrible situation
1 Like
As someone that left a very abusive relationship of 4 years and I felt so worthless my number one advice is when you do leave MAKE SURE SOMEONE THAT IS ON YOUR SIDE IS AT THE HOME WITH YOU, I cant express this enough even if it’s you calling the cops they will come and make sure you get out ok. Second your dad, if it’s something silly and not huge then I would confide in him and let him know what’s going on without it getting back to your SO. Also look into local laws to make sure it isnt viewed as kidnapping or whatever that you are leaving the state without the "permission " of you SO idk how that works as I’ve never done it honestly. Then I would get in touch with your family members and ask if you can stay with one of them until you get on your feet. Make sure you take what you will NEED when you leave or you will be completely lost and uncomfortable with nothing but the clothes on your back.
2 Likes
Is there any woman’s centers in your area? It may seem hard to do, but they are extremely helpful and can give you different avenues to pursue. Look up Sojourns women’s center… prayers to you💕
3 Likes
Reset your phone to factory settings, pack your clothes, and GTFO. Go to a woman’s shelter without the phone and with your kid and don’t look back. Ever. Forget material things, you can replace all that. Grab that baby and RUN.
9 Likes
Just get your child and get out now before it’s too late! Just keep driving and never look back
You can research places that can help you and your baby. Speaking from experience. There is help out there, women’s shelters and organizations that deal with this daily. You are not alone! Contact your family, take your child and leave.
1 Like
I went they this and I was stalked hit chocked and I left with the clothes on my back and my kids to my parents. Not easy to get out of it but you have to. Get a protective order thru woman’s center
1 Like
Please get to a shelter and get out now!
2 Likes
Go to a shelter and have them help you get to your family that lives 28 hours away. Delete all your social media get a new phone get a restraining order get a job and never look back. Go no contact and research financial abuse and narcissistic abuse
5 Likes
Get in touch with your dad use a work colleague phone make up a story tell them your battery is dead ,and phone your dad tell him you need him ,tell him everything he will help you he is your dad.tjen get out with your child good luck x
1 Like
Go to the library and use their computers for research rights, etc. Contact your family and talk to them and see if they will cover plane tickets to where they are. To get to the airport, schedule a cab (Uber, etc) for pickup using the another phone so it’s not traceable by him. Make sure it’s a flight during the day instead of night where you’ll still be home when he leaves for work but will be safely out of the airport when he’s off of work. Leave your phone and car at the house. Using your baby sitting money get a cheap straight talk phone so you’re not traveling without a way to communicate with family. Get you and your baby safe, Mama. 
get in touch with a domestic violence shelter. they can work with you to get you out of there.
5 Likes
I left with nothing but the clothing on my back and my kids a small bag of their clothing like a walmart bag .it sucks but you can do it 3 years later I have an amazing bf and a house and a car. You can do it .
7 Likes
As soon as he leaves for work pack your important papers for you and your child and call the police. They will come to you and file the report and restraining order then run to the nearest shelter. As long as that charge is pending he won’t even be able to contact you. It will be hard but your child needs you to do it. I will buy you a lyft to the shelters if need be.
7 Likes
Call the police and ask for an assisted leave. Tell them what’s going on and they’ll watch over you while you’re moving your stuff. Try and find a womans shelter 1st so you have somewhere to go.
Go now ! Take your baby without a word and leave be VERY CAUTIOUS IN LEAVING ANY INDICATION.
2 Likes
See if a women’s shelter around you has a safe house and can offer help
You will most likely need help. Thehotline.org may be able to help, if you go to their 24/hr chat. Counselors may be able to guide you to the best course of action depending on your location. There is many resources that can help, depending on severity and I’m sure you’ll only share the specifics and details on a more confidential platform where your S/O certainly can’t see. From experience, be careful, keep a disconnected phone on you that can call 911 in case anything escalates (so if he takes the phone he gave you away, you still have something), and don’t rule anything out… It’s hard, and remember there is always a way to get out/keep y’all safe if he threatens you, don’t be discouraged. Also, you can talk to your primary care doctor, as they can directly give you resources to your area discreetly in your medical paperwork at the end of the appointment if your S/O doesn’t control that too.
3 Likes
I have been threw this. I personally would pack up basic needs for me and my child when he leaves for work I would hop a bus to my family.then fill out all custody papers with court house where your family is.i packed up me two kids and a dog in middle of January dressed kids for weather I left with my pj shorts on with my ass hanging out tank top and flip flops put my kids in stroller and walked like that two blocks to the PD.and we were at below zero temps and a good foot of snow on the ground that afternoon. You can do it.
4 Likes
I left an 8 year marriage with someone abusive. He was a narcissist and alcholic. I literally left and went half way across the country. Do you have access to the bank acct? I’d take whatever is avalible, pack a bag for you and the kid and get a 1 way bus ticket to your family that is not close to you. Getting as far as possible is really the only way. Also, in the circumstances that he may be a good father just shitty to you he can always file for shared custody. Get him on child support since he is working.
1 Like
Get out and do it as fast as possible. Speaking from experience with my kids father . It wont be easy but you WILL make it .
Oh no hunny be careful writing this post though because I’m sure you get notifications and if so he may see this and will make things worse so my suggestion is safe harbor immediately they can help you get out but don’t walk RUN and do it quitely he could harm you or your child also if you need to call your police department if you can’t contact the shelter or fake pain bad enough where you need to go to the hospital and get help from there, there are ways out you just need to follow through and don’t believe his lies his I’m sorry I love you I am changing its all bs because once he has you he will have complete control which its hard right now but it will be even worse like you won’t even be able to use social media but too if all that doesn’t work make a Facebook live and let people know you’re in danger and being trapped and need help ASAP someone will hear your cries for help
3 Likes
Call a women’s shelter
Try as hard as you can to get in touch with your family, and run!
Get a burner phone from walmart, and ditch the one you have, run away from him and dont look back
If hes physical with you, try and get as much evidence as you can and call the police
They will arrest him and grant you a restraining order
Take it from someone whose been in abusive relationships, you’ve gotta get out, it will be hard but you’ll be ok
3 Likes
Check out the butterfly collective they are an awesome program that could help you.
1 Like
Get on a bus and go to your dad. He won’t leave you on the street. Leave your phone. Get a pay by the month track phone for 20 bucks a month. Get a job and dig your way out. People do it all the time. It’s hard and it’s scary… but you have to save your self and more importantly, your child.
5 Likes
No matter what the issue is with your dad call him and ask for help. Clear your old phone so he can’t see who you called. And have your dad get you a track phone with minutes. Ask him to get you a bus ticket back to the rest of your family and away you go! Get out
6 Likes
Get the police involved or he could try to go after you for kidnapping. They will help you!
4 Likes
You worked two days a week and you can apply for food and cash while you figure things out! Go to a Mexican store and see if there are any rooms for rent and rent a room while you get situated! And don’t be afraid because the worst that can happen is loosing his support but when you do leave go straight to the court house and file for custody and child support! And honey you can be mad at your dad but I guarantee you he loves you and will be there for you go and talk to him! The worst he can do is say no! But your closing a door that might be open still!
4 Likes
Things are replaceable, you aren’t.
2 Likes
I just want to say to every women on here that has said THEY GOT OUT I am so unbelievably proud of you for taking your self worth back. I know personally it’s hard and scary.
5 Likes
Leave. You need to get out while you can. Get a protection order against him. This is not healthy for you or your child. Ditch the phone. Buy a burner for dirt cheap.
1 Like
Run fast as you can an with that baby and dont look back! Just got out of a relationship that sounds just like yours and he beat me so bad I had multiple injuries concussion strangulation confinement broken arm Any church or womans shelter can help you or call hot line for abused battered woman.
I have also been with abusive men. Try to act like you normally do so he doesn’t suspect anything. The longer you wait, the harder it will be for you to do this. People are saying go to your family, but does he know where they live? Will he contact you there? I’d think be the first place he’d go. I personally would go straight to a shelter. Those people are experts at what they do. He won’t get near you there. Make sure you take any medical stuff, birth certificates, court papers, all ID, meds, comfort toy for your baby, besides that, only clothes you need for a few days. Less to carry and stress over packing. Ditch the phone and the less people who know where you are the less likely he will find you. You can do this girl. You know this isn’t right or safe. Try to be as calm as possible, level headed. No idea what your relationship is with your Dad or family, but my advice, don’t contact anyone other than the shelter. They will advise from there. You can do this. We women are natural protectors of our baby’s. Don’t doubt yourself for a minute. Keep calm and make a mental list of important things to take. Rest all material stuff, it can be replaced If he catches on to something and starts acting different, extra nice, sweet…don’t fall for it. Carry on as usual with him …then when you are able…leave. Call shelter first from another phone so they can help make arrangements for you to get there. The sooner the better. I will be praying for you and your daughter. When you can, please let us know you are okay
4 Likes
Car loan with you name only on car. Cheap phone from Walmart and prepaid phone plan. Run
If you have a good relationship with your dad besides right now TELL HIM.If my dad had known he would have helped me but he didn’t.This will only get worse.Stuff is worth nothing.Your life is worth everything and so is your child.I stayed because I was worried about stuff to but all the years later I have everything I had and more.
1 Like
If he lets u go to the store with the kids even if he is there u can go to the women’s bathroom and call for help don’t leave there until u r safe call the cops call store manager and once he is gone u won’t have long but find a women’s shelter or someone who can take u in and protect you best to get far away from him get a restraining order against him and document all encounters u can take pictures with a camera if possible or even get to a hospital if you can. It will continue to get worse the fact that you are not married is a good thing regarding ur child but can still be tricky. Once u r out u can rebuild get a job a car and never look back
1 Like
I am sorry you have to go through this. Don’t feel distressed, a lt’l courage and smartness will do wonders. Calling cops would probably take only as much as time and secrecy as typing this post, it’s just that we need strength sometimes … get a restraining order … u DESERVE a much better life 
all the best 
1 Like
As someone who has been through something similar I advise you to call your dad or even your other family if they’d be willing and able to fly there and get you out of that situation. I was in almost the exact same situation, wasn’t on talking terms with my family either, and wasn’t quite as far from my family but I was in another state with nobody. The best decision I ever made was to let go of my pride and call my family. Though we weren’t on a good place they were on their way to me and bringing my daughter and I back with them the next weekend. If your dad wouldn’t do it for you, he’d most likely do it for his grandbaby. Use the old people’s phone you work for and call him if you need to. But do it, it’s scary, but the scariest part is leaving. Once you’re gone you’ll feel so much better the rest will feel much easier. Good luck to you and your baby.
2 Likes
Hunny, find a Domestic violence shelter and call them from one of the places that you are working from or flag down a police officer and just leave everything and run. You can get new possessions but you can’t get a new you or your daughter. I was in an abusive relationship. He beat me and tried to beat me to death. I left him with no job, no car, nothing but my kids. It is hard but you can do it. Maybe your family could send you $ for a bus ticket or plane ticket home? You can do this.
3 Likes
It is very scary but in the end it’s better to start all over from nothing than to feel like your worth nothing with him.
All these ‘things’ are just possessions that can be replaced. The only things that can’t be are you and your child.
Please save yourself while you can. Try to get in contact with your local women’s aid. Report his controlling coercive behaviour to the police - some of it is now illegal Dump your phone in a bin and run and never look back.
I ran with my 2 kids - and was registered homeless and now a year later I have a job, a car, a rented house and they have a happy mum and stability xxx
Do it - it will only be hard in the beginning- each day is easier xxx
1 Like
Run,run, run.it will never get better only worse
get out and stay out,
Ask your Dad for help I’m sure he will help you no matter what. After all you’re his daughter.
Next step is to run away from your abusive partner.
xx
You need to get out. You know that. One night while you are working, use their phone to call your family. Ask for help. Maybe they can leave a ticket at the airport or bus terminal in your name with the baby. Go to work one night and don’t go back. If family won’t help, while at work, call an abuse hotline. They can help get you out. Make sure to have the baby with you.
1 Like
I know people’s first instinct for advice is clearly “take the child and run”…
That’s kidnapping, yes, even if it’s her child. If she has no residence and takes the child to a shelter with her then the courts will use that against her. There needs to be more information when it comes to the child, is he abusive to the kid? If not, then he has a very strong case to retain full custody if she simply runs off with the kid.
As for getting out, you might have to leave without your child and try to get set up with help through a women’s shelter. They can help you find work, a place to live and can even help in the upcoming custody battle.
Just leave it’s that simple
1 Like
Dont make any calls on your phone. Get a burner make the calls you need and HIDE IT. Do NOT put it anywhere he could find. Thinking you will leave will trigger him. But you HAVE TO. It is so hard and so lonely and you are going to blame yourself for so much stupid unnecessary stuff. YOU ARE STRONG. You WILL be okay. And you will be happy. It sticks with you. It does. But you will be okay. You can do this. Call your dad. Call the police. Churches shelters. Some womens shelters will even let you stay until you have a job and enough for a place. You are amazing and i wish the very very best for you.
1 Like
Go to your nearest women aid and take your child there you will be safe no men are allowed in there they will give you everything you need and when you are ready to leave you will I was also in an abuse relationship then I said anuff was anuff then also helped me convince my abuser
1 Like
Where are u? This is a question to answer. Maybe someone on here reading is in ur area n can help.
1 Like
Id walk away with nothing except your child …you dont need material things to be happy phone someone for help then sling the phone in the nearest bin new start new beginings new you …good luck
Save money. You don’t need much at first. Find a bus that will bring you to your friends/family.
Whatever has happened with your dad it’s almost guaranteed that he wont want this for you so please reach out to him for help or even your other family. They can help you get sorted out. Please dont sit there and wait for more to happen before you leave, be strong for you and your child. Good luck x
1 Like
If you had something before in your name, you can get it again. Its much easier to start fresh, than to try and seperate your stuff. Just take your clothes, your daughter (and her stuff) and go!
1 Like
Write an old fashion letter to your family. Tell them you need help but can’t call. Pick a day & time for them to come get you but don’t leave the state. File for emergency divorce based on abuse.
1 Like
I would phone the police, they can get you home safely and him charged with this abuse! I’m so sorry your going through this 
Don’t text/write your plans. He will find out. As soon as you can, take yourself and daughter to a women’s shelter. You may have nothing but you can get everything back (home, car, things)
It will be hard, the only way I got out of an abusive relationship was he went to prison. I thank god everyday that he did because I was so weak at the time, I don’t think I could have left
I was in the same position as you with the guy for 7+ years the night l left he actually punched me in the face broke my nose again while l was holding our 6 month old and it just clicked l didn’t care about myself by that stage l was dead inside but he almost hurt my baby after l managed too put her down safely he spent the next few hours beating it was like he knew he had gone too far because he cut off all my hair and kept trying too cut my eyes out too make me ugly so no one else would want me anyway l waited for him too fall asleep put baby in her pram grabbed a tin off formula birth cert a few bottles and some clothes and blankets for Bubba and ran it was 4 am in the morning l went to the closest police station from there l was taken too hospital it took a long time too heal from it not just physically and it sucked having too start again but the services available are amazing now 9 years later l have everything and more with a man who treats me and our daughters like queens including my eldest whom he stepped up and took on as his own as did his family pretty much straight away and life is good you got this u managed too live without him once before u can do it again no matter what he has made you believe you are strong your a mother your job is too keep her safe and as long as your OK she will be good luck sweet heart just believe in yourself and that you deserve more 1000000% more if l could l would come and get you both my heart is hurting so bad for u just go as soon as its safe too please
2 Likes
Everyone said everything. Also, delete this question from your messenger. He probably has the password to your Facebook account as well, right?
1 Like
I don’t know what to say other than you need to leave that mother fucker
11 Likes
take your child to a shelter and contact your out of state family from there? i do believe there are organizations who will assist in relocation.
14 Likes
RelationshipNerd Arthur Ruiz
You value your life or the things
5 Likes
look into someplace safe. They will help you leave and give you ways to get on your feet.
1 Like
If he works, wait till he is at work, go to the closest store, tell them you need a phone, you’re in danger. Call the police and ask for help. Leave the phone, take the kid.
21 Likes
Look around online for local safe shelters and contact one. They will come get you and baby while he isn’t home and take you to a secure location
9 Likes
I know it’s easier said than done, but you need to LEAVE. And take that child with you. Go to a shelter. The police. Some place that’ll help, than contact your family. Good luck & hugs. Been there 
4 Likes
I have been you… I’m crying just reading what you said pm me I will tell you what could happen. And what I wish I had done when I was you
5 Likes
I stayed in a relationship like this for almost 12 yrs because I was so scared to start over with nothing. Getting away from that was the best decision I ever made for myself and my children. Its rough, but things do get easier. Good luck to you.
7 Likes
Go to a shelter. It’s tough but it’s worth it
3 Likes
Call someone from where your from ( friend, parent…) see if they will come get you and don’t tell him they are coming and get your child and leave when he isn’t home and leave your phone behind so he can’t track you. Just pack up what you need when he leaves and when they get there throw it in the car and go
7 Likes
Wow…this is so bad. Run…run now. Don’t look back. Get out!!!
You say that your dad is the only family member that lives near you? Does he know what is going on?? You say that you 2 aren’t talking, but now sounds like a good time to go reach out to him. You need to leave this abusive pos!!
9 Likes
Find a women shelter in your area for abused women! They help you out and they have it to where even if he shows up to try and make you leave with him they won’t let him! I’ve been through this I literally didn’t have diapers for my little girl when I left her “father”! You have got this!!!
3 Likes
You contact women’s aid, pack a small bag and leave. Don’t look back. You can start from scratch, there will be help available to you. You can do it.
2 Likes
Make a plan, get your documents and what lil money you can together, find a shelter and just do it. It’s the best thing for you and your child🙏
1 Like
God bless …find a safe house…they will help u❤
Putting you in that position is very common with abuse and is just a way of keeping you depending on him completely. I know because I’ve been there. I left with a bag of clothes and nothing else. That was 14 years ago. Now I’m married to a great guy, we bought a house last year, 5 beautiful daughters and a great life. YOU DESERVE BETTER! And you won’t find better until you leave. I know it’s scary but you will be ok
7 Likes
Run and run fast don’t wait to become a victim nothing worth u and ur child life u can replace those things u see so many women being killed by violence on the news be strong and and leave
They isolate you. That’s their way of controlling you. No car, no phone, no family. I think I would tell your dad that you really need to speak to him. Ask for help and GET OUT! It only gets worse.
3 Likes
DO. NOT. STAY. WITH. SOMEONE. JUST. BECAUSE. YOU. HAVE. KIDS. TOGETHER. IF HE’S TOXIC, HE’S TOXIC. THINK ABOUT YOUR CHILDREN PEOPLE. AN ABSENT FATHER IS BETTER THAN A TOXIC FATHER. That is all.
5 Likes
I was in this situation on and off for 8 years, even when i did have my own place he controlled me. We have a daughter together. He put a gun to my head, he beat me while pregnant, and it took me 8 years to get away. I finally said enough and he hasn’t seen his daughter in 2 years which I know she’s better off. I may struggle as he does nothing for her, but I’m way better off and so is my child.
1 Like
Its better to start over with nothing/nothing in your name… mine left me with everything in my name and now Bill’s piling up… its hard to start over but will be better for you and your daughter…
1 Like
Go to a womens shelter/transition house. They will.help you. Take your baby with you.
3 Likes
It’ll be hard I just left my abuser of 6 years with my three very young children. We went to a shelter it helped us all feel safe and be safe also having someone to talk to will help alot. We left with nothing. We have very little right now but I promise you! ( And I cannot stress this enough) you and your child will be ok. And the first month might be hard but you don’t want to wait until it’s to late … Go to a shelter , call the police if you need help to leavs. Get your things together like your i.d.
4 Likes