Pack a bag of needs and necessities for each you & the child and go to an abused women’s shelter. There are “underground” organizations that can help get you back to your family.
Contact local shelters. Any reports you’ve made with the police will help you get a restraining order. Take pictures of any marks he leaves on you. Buy a cheap prepaid phone from Walmart or target. Say a client needed you to get toilet paper or diapers from the store. Hide the phone!! Use it to make the calls you need to and get out! Take only what you need. Your life and child’s depends on it.
Please omg just grab what you can carry, your baby, and leave.
When I was in a situation similar I had to just disappear. Contact someone he doesn’t know about, first. Get somewhere safe. There are online aids where someone from a women and children’s center will come pick you up. Go take a day trip to the library if you need internet access. Have someone pick you up from a public place leave the car. Please, please go before it gets worse.
1 800 799 7233 National Abuse hotline. They should be able to help you with finding a safe place. File for emergency custody of your child. If you only get to leave the house for work, see if you can use a phone there that he can’t track.
If you’re in Kansas, send me a message. I’ll help get you out and away.
take care of you! Plan & act when you can, sending love & strength!
It’s just stuff. It is replaceable. Get out!! Go home to your family. They will help you if you get out of that
Get in touch with someone at one of these locations. Just find the nearest one. Even if it’s far away. Get in touch, they’ll have answers.
YWCA in your area. Your local public welfare office has resources. Call your mom and tell her, I know if you were my kid come hell or high water I’d move you back with me. And your dad of you tell him what’s going on should help.
Take the gps off & take off the location on your phone off
Take your baby and go to a shelter. You leave with your lives. Possessions mean nothing.
Go to thewarehouse.co.nz
Scroll right down to the bottom and click on the half white half green circle
I’ve been in your position before. Right after I had my son, the nurses in the hospital saw how my husband and mother in law were. They set up a “follow up” appointment where I could talk to a worker alone. The worker set up everything for me. She found a shelter for me and the shelter picked my son and me up. I only took the things we absolutely needed. The shelter helped me get a lawyer and a restraining order against my husband. I got custody of my son, and was able to get on government assistance. The state will give you a phone with unlimited text and calls. You’ll get food stamps to feed you guys. It’s going to be rough at first, being in a home full of people going through the same thing you are, but once you get your bearings. There is nothing he can do to control you. You will be free and able to be the mother you always wanted to be. No one to tell you what to do. It’s freeing.
Okay with tracking on your phone turn on air plane mode or turn off your data non of the GPS apps or I do believe cell phone company’s can ping with out data. But if its not back on before he looks it might show but you can say you didn’t have service for some reason if you turn off your data it doesn’t show anything at the top. Go to a shelter or contact a shelter from your clients phone if its out of the house.
Get a restraining order for harassment and talk to a detective so he can see how your husband overly monitors you and you feel unsafe it’s yr only protection! I been through it an I left with nothing…it was a very dull hard time but I’m so much happier than to deal with mental, emotional and physical abuse…please reach out to your dad and keep you both safe!
Take your child and look into shelters. Leave without him knowing or he’ll follow you. Tell the situation to the shelters you contact and more than likely someone will pick you up. Buy a prepaid phone from straight talk
Drive to any police station explain your situation and they will advise you where to go from there. There should be shelters,woman refuge etc
Go to the police station and talk to them or you can even flash your lights at a cop and a lot of times they will turn around and “pull you over” talk to said cop and say that he’s tracking you maybe he will write you a warning for say not using a turn signal
I had to leave my ex it got so bad that i left with nothing except my daughter, clothes and a few sentimental items i had to start over with nothing your family may be 28 hours away but u should reach out to them if you can have even one family member come down to pick u up and help u out till u get on ur feet it will b ur life line i called my ex step mom she came from ohio to wisconsin and helped me with a security deposit luckily i had a job and my daughter was 10 and in public school but there are programs even family homeless shelters and womens shelters that can help u when ur ready to leave all those material things wont matter what matters is getting u and ur kid safe and starting over and standing on ur own it will b hard but its doable trust me it will take time but it will b worth it u dont want ur kid growing up thinking that lifestyle and relationship is normal when its not and its not healthy for either of you. All that stuff is nothing material items can be gathered up again u can build ur own household once on ur feet in waukesha wisconsin we have a place called the hope center they help provide people in need with furnishings for a household when they get a place and have nothing they give tables chairs couches beds towels silver ware pots pans sheets literally everything and its all donates stuff the mattresses are brand everything else is usually used but donated in good condition homeless shelters out here help fund u to get in an apartment they have programs to help every where u just have to research and call around
Or even if you see a cop in a parking lot you can pull up next to them
Does he work , if he does wait till he is gone call someone to come get you and that baby , take some clothes for you and the baby ,leave the rest file for divorce start over.
Leave the phone, get a burner, call your family and take a taxi out of town to meet them, pay the cabbie in cash. Take the baby with you. If you’re not married to him he is a sperm donor and you have the right to do with the child as you will. Lawyer up when you get to your family’s place. Don’t say a word to him or threaten. Just make like Katie Holmes and git.
You are a freaking warrior for just posting this. Look up women’s shelters in your area. Isolating you is just part of his abuse. If you leave you need to commit and stay gone. You can do this!
That’s domestic abuse. Don’t treat it any other way.
Can you get a phone at the grocery store? Oh the next time you go to the grocery store, ask the store to make a call for you, give them the number of a nearby shelter, talk to them and explain what’s going on. Start secretly stashing away money. Het cash back here and there. Not too big of money but enough to not draw attention to yourself.
Go to a local shelter. They can and will help. I was 19 with my daughter who was 2 at the time when I fled a domestic abuse filled relationship. I owned nothing. I had to slowly set aside $10-15 a week for a few months to buy my own phone and plan. Once I had that I left to a shelter with just the clothes on my and my daughter backs. It was rough and took time to figure things out but I managed.mind you I was also still in high school at the time. You got this.
Pack your bags, take your baby, leave the phone, and go.
Call the domestic abuse hotline.
If you have any family or friends you can trust then you make and plan and leave with your child.
Remember, items are replaceable YOU ARE NOT.
Document EVERYTHING very discretely. You can make fake #s and fake email to text or record these occurrences.
The first thing you really need to do is make sure you’re wanting to leave and absolutely done this time.
On average domestic abuse victims go back 7 times before they’re actually done and that’s if they don’t die first.
Go get assistance love ! They will put you and baby in a hotel until you can get out of there safely ! I had to do the same thing only I was pregnant ! Good luck ! I pray you get out safe
Been there… turn up at your dads house! Doesnt matter what the fued is… turn up & tell him you need help!
Go to a shelter. If you are in the Sacramento area, you can pm me. I have an extra car and a place u can crash.
Wishing you the best of luck for your health and happiness in the future. We surprise ourselves at just how strong we can be when we get determined to make something happen. Keep us posted we will all be thinking of you, and hoping for a positive outcome from this situation.
Go to the police or contact a refuge or even go to a hospital and ask for help. The only thing you need is your child and you to be safe once that happens social worker/services will help you with next steps and can include returning to get belongings with a police officer. Safety comes first for both of you. Try talk to your employer or co-worker get a plan together and go.
Fell free to pm me, I’ll help you as much as I can if we are close!!! Lie about your first couple bits of money. And straight up buy a cheap phone at the dollar store. Like $25
Get all the paper work you can birth certificate and so on
Call the cops and ask them to help you leave. Get a friend to drive you somewhere or pick you up. Do it when he’s gone to work.
Take the car , police cant do anything , its considered civil matter , he would have to take u to court , then the judge will oearn u have a child together and then child support kicks in
Talk to whoever you have back home, have them pick you up a bus ticket, then pick you up at the bus station, get your child, get on a bus and go home!
Starting over may sound scary but the alternative is terrifying.
Seriously, you can do this. Someone you know will help. Don’t think about it or hesitate because you may lose your nerve. Just go.
Reach out to your dad and ask for help. Def set up a new phone in ur name and get a car and do things in ur name even if it’s sneaky
Pm I went thru exact same thing I can tell what I did
Get a cheap basic ph in the groceries and hide it use it as a phone to contact others to help u get out while he’s not home I can start again honestly and get a hold of women’s refuge ASAP on the safe phone hide it
You all need to remember that she is on his plan! He can look up her calls and text. He can even track where she is. If she leaves, she needs to leave the phone, so he can’t track her. I highly suggest making a doctor’s appointment for your child. Tell your spouse you think your baby caught a cold, but you just want to make sure. Don’t make it to obvious the reason your making an appointment is to get help from the abuse. Please keep us updated!
Why do women think get in this situation , especially pregnant ???
When you’re at work, use the landline to call law enforcement. Tell them everything you posted. They’ll find a way to get you in touch with a women’s shelter and make a plan to get back to your family
You said you have nothing but your two-year-old daughter right? The hell with everything else. You pick up your daughter and you take you r daughter and yourself to a shelter, a church, the police, where ever you can go to get help. Because if he is abusing you in front of your daughter, she is also mentally and emotionally abusing her. Materialistic things you can always get from churches, donations, etc.
I was in the same situation 10 years ago. The court told me I could not leave state with my kids. I had to co parent with my ex with my family 14 hours away. I rebuilt my life though. I went back to college. I have a great job. I am a home owner. I just got a brand new 2019 car. Best decision I ever made was to divorce my abuser and move on with my life. Everything was in his name. The checking account was in his name. I was on an allowance and a stay at home mom with no job skills. Now I have a degree and a great job and I remarried to a man who loves me dearly, isnt abusive, doesnt cheat, and views me as his equal. And he loves my kids like his own. Im telling you from experience. Get out. Dont look back. And make yourself non dependent on a man. You can do this. You can. God bless you! The first step is to leave. I promise you things will get better.
Take your kid, grab only clothes and go to a domestic violence shelter. They will help you.
Go to your dad and explain the situation.
If that doesn’t work go to a shelter.
It’s a scary situation to be in. Your not alone though. Many people struggle with this. If you go to the police they will get you to a safe shelter for you and your son. There they can help you get established with a job and in most cases housing. They will assist you in getting a government phone (free). It will be very hard, but worth it in the end to know that you and your son are safe.
Advice above is good. You need to get out as it will continue to get worse. Go to a woman’s shelter and they will help you.
I know you’ve had a lot of offers for a pm but here is another… I am a detective that does DV incidents. I can talk with you if you need and help you navigate some of the process. It will be long and sometimes extremely difficult but reaching out is the first step. You’re brave for recognizing your situation and even considering changing it for yourself. A lot of places are now working with multiple discipline teams to aid and assist survivors so that they can get care and aid from all aspects. There is help out there if you know how to find it.
You can do this First step is to reach out to someone you trust or a social worker for support. Just that one person will make it easier for you, don’t do it alone. Pack everything you own, ask that support person to pick you up and don’t look back. You will be making the right decision for yourself and your child once your out of that toxic environment. You will feel somewhat relieved. Buy a cheap phone to contact a lawyer as soon as your in a safe place. I wish you nothing but happiness for you future. Stay strong chicky xoxo
Buy a phone save money and talk to someone about housing for lower income parents they have programs for single parents and could probably get you into something fairly quick then make the move call the police to come do a civil stand by so he doesn’t try anything talk to a lawyer and have it all set up before you leave some lawyers will work with you on payments
Please message me. I will walk you through this and we’ll get you local assistance.
I don’t think I would be putting this on Facebook. If he tracks your every move then he knows everything that’s being wrote on here as we speak! But since it’s on here my advice is just leave it will only get worse before it ever gets better.
I’ve been in your position. And after my last ass whooping that I allowed! I left absolutely everything that was mine or my sons and we left in the middle of the night.
No phone no nothing. I took my kid in the clothes he was in and left.
If you leave will your family 28hrs away help you?
Mine disowned me because he was so controlling and absolutely ignorant as fuck to them. But as soon as I made the decision to leave they jumped in and helped.
Get to a dv shelter immediately! Been there done that. It will ve uncomfortable. But I just got out of one with my 5 kids. They will then give u food, shelter, and an advocate to get u where u need to be. They will help u through it and he will never know where u are. Leave the phone but take the car. Make sure hes not following u. The dv shelter will tell u that and if u do have a phone to turn off ur location. Get a burner phone. Its better that way. Then talk to ur advocate, she will help you with the steps u need to take to make a statement, court, child support, and get a restraining order. You will be safe if u follow what I am saying. And when u look up stuff on the current phone, make sure u delete all browser history so he wont find out what u are doing. Make it a plan when hes at work. just leave the phone there so he thinks ur at home.
I was in the same spot for 6 years. 2 kids with this person. You have to be ready. If you can’t get someone to take you to your dads then call the shelter. Don’t take but what you can carry. Including anything that’s the baby’s. Birth certificate, SSN. File taxes and use that money to get you on your feet. That’s exactly what I did. It’s a slow climb but it’s worth it. You have to be ready to go though. You can’t go back. It will only get worse. And depending on your area there’s so many programs for single moms so you can find subsidy for daycare, medical and food. Trust me it’s only been a year for me but I’ve never felt so at peace and secure than when I left that place. If you ever need an ear message me.
Cops won’t do anything unless there is prove of abuse like marks, bruises etc. Been there done that
Are there any shelters you could call while at work?
You can child support and you can take him back every 6 month for more hope he working you are a person dont let him ruined you stand up for you r self go talk to your parents hope so good luck
Take your baby an leave with the clothes on your back go to family or friend and get yourself independent girl
Talk to a lawyer first , document with pictures and journal events , and have a extra bag ready to leave for you and your child in an event of emergency. Get to know your local abuse shelter emergency numbers and location services. Don’t be ashamed to use them they are there to help, mental abuse is just as bad as physical abuse. Buy yourself a prepay phone for emergency, have a written list of phone numbers , and contacts
You posted this so I’m assuming you feel safe communicating through social media/internet. Set up a private email account and don’t download any apps. Set it so you have to sign in through a browser. Then locate your nearest dv agency and email someone explaining your situation and identify your county and city to confirm you are in their catchment area. You haven’t described anything that necessarily rises to criminal behavior (abusive and controlling yes) so taking off with your kid may give him an upper hand without evidence the child is in danger. Hopefully you will be able to make contact with a victim advocate who can help you explore your options and come up with a plan including talking to an attorney . Depending on where you live, you may be considered common law married and an attorney should be able to provide some guidance on what to do and what NOT to do. Possession is 9/10ths of the law right? You actually may qualify for legal aid🤔 make sure you clear your search history every time you use the internet and go back and enter some benign searches ( recipes? Childcare question? ) to account for the data usage if he gets suspicious.
All that into account, there is only one you. Your child only has one mother. If your life is in danger your child’s future protector is in danger. Would you want him to raise your child alone . You are not leaving without nothing, if you leave with just the clothes on your back you are leaning with the most valuable thing -your life.
He didn’t make you do anything. You gave him that power. Yes he’s an abusive asshole and I hope you get away, but you have blame in this too.
Holy shit you’re speaking my story. I had to leave with nothing but the clothes on my back and my 3 week old daughter thank God I had friends that were willing to take me in I had to start from the ground up everything new or used. Eventually he brought me my things once he figured out that I wasn’t coming back. But you need to leave regardless of whether you leave everything behind or not
You NEED to talk to a lawyer (some do free consultations or go to social services) to find out what your options & rights are in your state. Don’t tell him. I am so sorry you are going through this
Go to a safe house !!! Call the homeless shelter in your area and they will tell you the Nearest safe house call the safe house and they will transport you with your stuff to the safe house . Leave your phone off and at the house . Write down all numbers you need
Girl leave that asshole!!! You n ur child get out now while u can
Just leave sweet heart those things mean nothing . I just left an abusive 5 yr marriage with nothing but my two girls and some clothes . It was the best choice i made . That was September 26 the 2019 and i could not care less of all the worldly possessions I left behind . I simply needed to survive and my kids to be ok. That’s all I kept telling my self . We currently live in a monthly motel with nothing abd no income . But we are happy and finding our own way in life . Safe and sound . So please from one abused woman to another you can do it you can rebuild you are strong and nothing can stop you . Take your babies and run like your on fire . Don’t look back and breath when it’s all done . You are a warrior and I have faith in you ! You are woman now roar !!!
Even though you’ve been in a 4 year relationship that considered harassment, and if he doesn’t let you leave that technically kidnapping. None of this is ok. I know is hard af to rebuild when he owns everything. I had to start 100% over with my kids because my ex husband purposely ruined all of our things by having people come over who had bedbugs. Cant get them out of furniture or anything really once they’re in there. You don’t want to child to grow up thinking that’s ok because it’s not at all. Get out while you still can. Call the cops if you have to.
Go talk to your dad. Tell him all of it. Take your child with you
See a citizens advice bureau or a ask a women’s refuge to put you in touch with legal aid - you may have rights to shared property as you’re in a de facto relationship and you support his child. Pretty sure you will be able to get something back
Texas has common law marriage all you have to do it get a lawyer and you can still get half of everything and if he is abusive you can call the police and they will make him leave and pay you full support
Leave everything and I mean everything behind. Even the phone. Take your baby and go. Everything else is replaceable. Stay lowkey.
I would call my mom and have her com get me and my kid of i was in your situation…my mom lives 12hrs away…do u habe family that would he willing to drive that far to get u and ur child? Buy a greyhound bus ticket for u n child and have family meet u and pick u guys up…get a phone he dont know about. Get out. Itll only get worse.
Go to a women’s shelter, reach out to family. It’s not kidnapping if you hear for both your lives. Reach out to dad and beg him for help.
If he owns everything walk away start again, get your own place get your own stuff, get a lawyer involved
I started a secret savings account with a different bank and saved up whatever I could. My ex used to give me a weekly allowance of $60 for gas and lunch at work. I sometimes skipped meals and deposited what I had. I also changed my direct deposit to take a small amount and put it in the savings. When enough was saved to get away, I packed up and left with nothing but my dog and whatever clothes I could fit in a few trash bags. I slept on the floor at my new place for a while until I could afford to get a bed. Best decision I ever made.
Grab your kid and go to the police station tell them what’s happening they will help you find a safe place to stay
I’d leave everything behind including the car and phone, take my kid, and walk to a police station and tell them the situation, so they could help me get set up in a women’s shelter and get my life back on track. The help is out there, you just have to go get it, and bust your ass until you get it!
Get. Out. Of. There. Material items can be replaced. There are so many women’s resources. I know he monitors your phone but you need to get someone at work to let you find out the info for abuse victims. Because that’s what this is, ABUSE. Your baby needs you to do this.
For starters … grow up. You don’t OWN your child; you, admittedly, have relationship issues; and, you’ve allowed yourself in a situation you can’t control. Work on YOURSELF.
Reach out to your dad. Be brutally honest about what is happening. Imagine the love you have for your child. He is your father and should have that for you. This is an emergency and whatever is causing him to not speak to you shouldn’t over power this. There are women’s services available especially ones that come with children. You can have an officer escort you while you pack your clothes and your child’s things and get you to a womens trauma housing. They often have programs that allow you to stay rend free until you can find work and housing and will also provide child care, attorney and counseling
You just up and go and leave the material things behind. Been there with 3 kids. It sucked. I cried alot but was well worth it now
I lived in Kentucky with my husband who was abusing me. He beat me so bad one night an ambulance was called! This was ten years ago so I can freely talk about it now. I snuck with no shoes on to the police station. They brought me to a women’s shelter until the police could confront him and arrest him. I UNDERSTAND. Half way through that day of the worst beating he left for a little bit and I had the chance to save myself and I was too chicken. He came home and attacked me again and I thought to myself I either die or I end this and never look back. My family was in Wisconsin 12 hours away! The police officer who arrested him came while we were packing my life into a car and told me to please not come back because he sees it all too often. I promised him I wouldn’t. There were times I wanted to go back, I can’t explain why but I did. I called my parents that night and they instantly were on their way. I put all I had left, which was not much, a cat, and a dog in my car and drove back home! It’s not easy but you have to just decide if your life and your child’s is worth saving! PS it is. I thought my life was over. I made all the mistakes. No one would love me. Here I am 10 years later with two wonderful kids and a wonderful husband. I forget the fact I was ever married to that. You have to pack up and leave!
Ummm…
Call the police.
You said he doesn’t let you out of the house.
Get the cops involved to stay with you to grab your child, belongings and go to your family.
OR stay and put up with it for longer.
I know it is scary and overwhelming to think k about taking your child and having NOTHING. But I can tell you that I have been there. My exhusband was abusive and I didnt have a car, money or my own home. But I decided I wasnt going to let our daughter grow up thinking that behavior was ok. I called my mom and she brought the police and we left and I never looked back. It is beyond scary I know. But for your baby you have to do it! If you dont have family that can help yall like that then call your local womens shelter and they will help you.
Marry him and take half
Womens shelter! They will assist with you leaving and getting you situated to start a new life.
Never let someone have that kind of control over your life. My sister was the same way until he killed her. Get out. Do whatever you need to do. I hope your life is more important that pleasing some dirt bag. God bless.
What country are you living in? The legal status differs in each country, is my understanding
For example, in my country, after a couple being together for two years, unless there’s proof to the contrary, it’s a fifty fifty split. You need to have a lawyer, or go to a Citizens Advice Bureau for clarification
all away with yourself.start over ,a Shel ter.
Walk away…sorry
Baby girl you NEED help, you need to pack up and march over to your dad’s, a woman’s shelter or right into a police station and let them know exactly what your situation is and they can help you from there. You are not alone, he has just tricked you into thinking you are isolated. There is a plethora of information and help and guidance for people in your exact situation. First thing is first, you walk out that door, you slip out that window, YOU GET OUT
As long as you are alive you can always rebuild.
Get away. There are women’s shelters that will help you restart.
Just… WOW! Darlin, you need to leave ASAP!. Contact your Dad. You need to do this anyway. I lost mine last year, and my Mom the year before. Never let it be like that. You never know when it could be your last chance. If your Dad is anything like I am with my daughter, I could be pissed as hell at her (and have been many times in her 34 years), but NEVER would I let her sit in your situation. I’m praying your Dad is of a similar mindset. Like you said, he owns everything. Let him. Take your personal things, the baby’s things, especially birth certificate and such. Get out. Then the VERY next business day you need to file for sole custody of the child. Add to that a restraining order. This coming from a man.
If you ever have a chance even just saying your going to the mail box with your child you run call the cops tell them whats going on ask them to take you to a local shelter or a friend if possible try try try to talk to your father let him know and arrange a day for him to get you if possible till you can get to your family but by all means when you leave make sure that baby is in your arms because if theres no custody order they will not make the father give you your baby once your able to get away from that man hide for as long as you can because some get real crazy and by all means if you need someone to talk to if you would like me to search for programs in your local area for you to escape feel free to private message me you dont have to say anything direct you could say like something like you want info on loosing weight something dumb and I’ll help with what I can and message back and will not say anything direct but will provide numbers to local resources
You have got to get away from this man. It’s just a matter of time before it starts getting really bad. He sounds like a sociopath and honey you gotta get as far away from that as possible. He will consume you, gaslight you, make you think and believe you did or said things that you absolutely didn’t do or say. He will methodically take your life from you, cut you off from any source of friendship or family. He will make you believe they are all against you and they don’t like him and will do anything to tear you two apart. He will accuse you of paying too much attention to your child and ignore him. He WILL start hitting you if he hasn’t already and he will never, ever, let you go willingly. I suggest calling an organization called “My Sisters House” My Sisters House This is a national organization, so there may be one in your area. If they can’t help you, I’m sure they can point you in the right direction of an organization that will. Have you told any of your family that live out of state? Maybe one of them can come get you and the baby one day while he’s at work. You just take your most important documents, Your’s and the baby’s birth certificates, your social security cards, if married your marriage license. If you have a passport take that as well. Do not remove large sums of cash out of the bank account if you have access to it. You’ll have to do it over time in very, very small amounts, 5 here 10 there. You will have to be quiet and methodical and when you are ready, you go hide for a while. If this guy is who I think he is, he won’t give up trying to find you for a long time, if ever. You really may need professional help to just disappear. Sadly, I don’t know of many organizations that provide that kind of help unless you’ve been physically abused. Good luck and God Bless you and your child.
If your in the North East part of Ohio, ill drive and hour or so to get you and your baby. Once you get out, its heart breaking but its people like all of us here that would sneak you out, provide some safe place and make sure you and your baby have what you both need… Good luck and I’m here if you need a friend or are in the area, im a stay at home mom, i home school and am always available…