Mental illness is challenging, at MOST TIMES, in a relationship AS well as in Familys" situation.
What does he like to do? For me it’s action movies. I watch action movies. Comedians are another fix of mine. Tim Hawkins, Gabriel Iglesias and Jeff Dunham.
He needs more help than you can give him.
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Tell him stay on meds or you going to leave him for good
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Moscow! Walking or shut up and stay stupid
I am the same way. That’s why I’d rather stay by myself.
Jeez is everyone in the freaking world “mentally Ill?”
He needs professional help!!
Leave when he starts
You can’t do it. Walk away. (experience here)
Run. Now. You can’t change him
God and some professional help.
Look after YOU …NO.1. When you look after you…then you can look after others.
Go see sickatre doctor
There’s your sign!!
Has he gone for help
Is he taking his medications? My personal experience is that if they don’t stay on their mental health medications it just gets worse. My ex-husband started out with verbal abuse which is by far worse then physical abuse because it affects someone emotionally and leaves deeper scars that never heal. He then started physically abusing me, he held a knife to my throat, put a loaded gun in my mouth and a loaded gun to my temple, gave me black eyes and broke my nose. You can’t fix him or love him enough to stop his mental health issues. I recommend ending it and cut your losses. Does he go to weekly therapy or see a psychiatrist? You need to protect yourself and if you have any children you need to protect them because eventually the abuse trickles down to them. It took me 7 years to escape and get away from him-he threatened to kill me and our kids and himself if I tried to leave. Good Luck and think about what I have said. I left him at 30 and I am now 66 single and have built a wall and don’t trust men.
GET. OUT!!! Not yours to deal with.
If you have children think long and hard I lived 29 years with a man with bipolar schirania manic depression it was good most of the time when his meds were not working it was hard he was a disabled veteran if you want to talk call me 8036877780
Leave him before he hurts u.
I’m sorry, u need to leave before something horrible happens , please, God Bless
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Please seek professional help!
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Get the hell out of it
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What does a dr. Say?? U are not eqipped
Get the heck out of there
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give him a chance but think 
of your self if it isn’t working out take a leave of absence for a while 
Knot your problem run far far away.
Was he actually diagnosed with mental health problems or does he just say he has them to get away with the way he acts? I do know people who lie about having mental health issues for attention and to get away with their messed up behavior that’s why I’m asking. If he does actually have mental health issues you need to figure out how much you can handle and support him in every way you can but don’t let yourself be abused in the process. It’s hard to be with someone with mental health issues and they need as much support as possible and you need a support system as well. You’re gonna need someone you can talk to without judgement….maybe even therapy for yourself. If at any point you choose to walk away don’t feel bad…you’re human and can only handle so much nor do you deserve to be abused mentally. Good luck
You will be giving up your right to peace. Why stay with someone abusing you? LEAVE NOW AND GO LIVE THE LIFE you deserve. LOVE DOES NOT CONQUER ALL.
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Love, communication and standing your ground. My husband has Bipolar 2 with PTSD. He is a very Christian and country man, who was raised with strong morals on how to treat women. When we married, it was undiagnosed, and the first time it flared up severely and we had our first fight, he said some hateful words. The first time I got mad as hell and started fighting back, afterwards we apologized but I told him “I know your momma raised you better than that, you ain’t gonna treat me like that.” And I walk away! We had two more fights after that, and we were very open with each other that he should seek treatment. He did at my encouragement and saw someone who diagnosed him and placed him on meds.
We struggled a long time with inconsistent medication.
Moral of the story, you need to bring this to his attention, see if he’s open to positive change, and seeing someone. Because if he’s willing to work on himself, then he’s willing to push for your relationship. People will work on themselves for the right person.
Jus because he has mental health issues, doesn’t mean you have to accept his verbal abuse…
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Leave now before it gets Worse
Well, it’s hard to answer without knowing which mental health issue he deals with. I’d definitely talk to him about it and look into forms of CBT for him. Journaling can help some ppl, but It depends on the illness and individual.
WTF get on a support group for metal illness
You need to talk to him and tell him that you love him and know he is going through a lot but that you will not be spoken to that way. Tell him you and there if he needs to talk about how he’s feeling and just do check ins on how he’s doing every so often. You do need to let him know his words hurt you and that’s not what you want in a relationship.
He should be seeing a dr and on medication. If he heats no to that then you need to go. My ex HAS bi polar depression, diagnosed and was on medication at one point but he didn’t like how it made him feel. He was a great guy but when he was manic he was unpredictable and right after the mania he would get mean. No amount of love and care I provided made it easier for him or me. You cannot help him through this. He has to learn what to do with a professional.
Does he have mental health issues or is he just abusive? I ask bc mental health issues is a very vague term. If he’s saying he has this then he would have a diagnosis and you would be on here saying my BF (for example) is bipolar. Many abusers like to say this bc they think this excuses their behaviour and it doesn’t. They are simply an abuser tugging at your heart strings saying this bc “they can’t help it” so you will stay. Even if it is true, the I can’t help it excuse still doesn’t work bc they can get help. Counseling and meds. Sounds like you need to get out of there
Are you sure his “abusive side” is not beginning to show itself? You need to love yourself and get out, while the gettins good. I speak from experience. It starts out with emotional, then phycological, then physical.
He needs to be seen by a doctor and therapist. I have mental health issue as well my issues PTSD related from 18 years of abuse from my father and 13 years of abuse from my ex. I am happily married now but there are times things trigger my PTSD. It’s fight or flight for me. You most likely need therapy as well after dealing this. If there are no plans to marry him get out now. If you are planning on marrying him then you need couples therapy. There’s something deep down that is going on with him.
There’s other men in the world
You’re in for a lot of battles if you continue this relationship. You will become a punching bag with no warning and your life will be stressful if his mental health is not controlled and sometimes if it is. If you chose to stay - be prepared that at some point you will decide that enough is enough.
He needs to see a Dr. He may be bipolar. Medication helps immensely. My boyfriend is bipolar. He is a wonderful man, helped in raising and caring for MY three children. Treats me well does wonderful things for us. But if he’s not on his meds he is like a different person. He came off his meds twice in the nine years we’ve been together and was at times mean and said hurtful things. He knows now if he ever decides to come off his meds I will leave. I’ll be gone. I won’t be treated like that again just bc I love him. Things aren’t always great just like any relationship but I try and understand what he’s going through and how his mind thinks. He’s a GOOD man and I love him. I’ll be with him as long as he stays on his meds and he knows that now. He doesn’t want me to leave him. We’ve always been able to work things out. If he doesn’t seek help tell him you will not stay unless he does. Good luck
Be careful. You can only help so much before it starts to damage you as well. He needs to see a professional and talk to someone. Medication if he’s up for it.
Is he being treated for his mental health? If he is then consult with his Dr, if he’s not then he needs to be.
Leave cause if it were you with the mental health issues trust me sis. He wouldn’t deal with it.
If you really love him getting some help if help is not what he wants then you can’t help him the situation will get worse it will not get better so you need to decide if you love him enough to help him and to make sure he gets help stay but if you’re not ready to be that person that he really needs it is best you leave
it’s mental abuse not mental health. I’ve been through it. If he hasn’t been diagnosed professional and on meds then he is either using or drinking. They are very good at hiding it.
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A better question is how can I love my son through his mental health issues
Contact the NAMI group for information and free classes (National Alliance for Mental Illness). But, first, STOP loving him for his potential and accept the flaws he has as they are. YOU are allowed tp set and maintain boundaries. If he can’t treat you right, no amount of love can fix him!
Run darlin. Sound like your to young and inexperienced to be put in this type of situation and you very well could be be in a very dangerous situation for yourself and him. Please do the right thing for yourself and him. God bless sweetie.
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The abuse will, more than likely, get worse. Get out while you still have your self-esteem.
This could be anything from bipolar …to depression …to suicide …plz get him help
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I’m gonna be honest this is me female mode to my fiance.
Not gonna lie I say things that piss him off I’ve accused him of cheating called him names. But much like you’re bf I own up to it I recover for what I’ve said. When he’s getting in that mood that’s when you don’t fix him you tell him " piss off" that’s the most common nicest way for them too understand they’ve hit a nerve. Don’t fix what you can’t just be there for it protect it be proactive in making sure he’s taking care of himself too.
I have a friend that just left a situation like that. He was verbally abusive for the most part up until the time he hit her and gave her a black eye and stitches.
Stress is usually a trigger for my family member, maybe he feels stressed and after a while I know when my family member starts acting a little different that they need to take their medication or it will go into full blast and it’s not pretty. Everyone is different and you’ll have to suggest counseling for you guys together and try to slowly convince him to do separate sessions as well and maybe a professional can convince him he needs medication or at least things that will help him handle things better.
Set healthy boundaries. Phrases like,” I understand you are upset. I think we both need to reset and come back to this when we can be respectful to each other in this conversation”. It’s a whole lot of boundaries, space and talking. LOTS of talking. Depending on the mental illness medications may need to be involved to balance out the extremes in emotions or heightened emotions.
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Why would you stay with someone like that? You’re not married. Dating is for getting to know if a person is a good match. I absolutely hope he gets help but you are not responsible for that.
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Find your local NAMI, they have peer to peer groups and I highly recommend the family to family class, It is an eye opener. You can call the NAMI helpline at 800-950-NAMI or in a crisis text “NAMI” to 741741
Here is the link to find your local NAMI
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Abuse is abuse, whether or not a mental health problem is involved. Please help yourself first. Know your worth and that you do not deserve how he treats you. If he refuses to get help to manage this and change, it will only get worse.
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When it comes to mental health, just because he has problems it doesn’t mean you should put yourself in the middle of them to fix them. Some people need to fix themselves and can’t use their mental health to excuse their actions all the time because it can be draining. He needs to get himself help.
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Maybe instead of saying “Mental health” you should’ve stated what mental health illness he is dealing with bc each are different and people can live very normal lives with these illnesses… they are not doomed 
I see so much ignorance in these comments that I now understand why the stigma on mental health is still very much alive. Many comment when they have no idea, keeping the stigma very much alive.
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Each time he says hurtful words leave the area. He will learn when he says them you will walk away he will stop. Let him calm down then talk
Be supportive if you love him. we all have issues, if you can’t be with him at his lowest then move along
You can’t fix him. He needs to get therapy.
My man is the same way…he has days where he tries to push me away but he just needs to be left alone is all…the more I try to help the worse it gets…he starts to feel better and we talk about ways we can work on it when it starts to happen…I also try to make his favorite foods to help get him out of bed…
You need to remain calm
and kind. I have issues, mainly hormonal stress and it hurts everyone around me. I thought I’d never find love. But I found my husband, the nicest, kindest, most stress free calmest person I’ve ever me. He reminds to always find a channel for my stress. He is that reminder what normal people do under stress. My bf will guide me and sometimes i need that guidance nomatter how old i am. Example, working at home is hard when you have two kids to care for, especially when one is a toddler… my husband drop everything he is doing to take me swimming, to a movie, or out to dinner… You are your bf’s balance. Be there to listen and be kind. However hurtful words to you is unnecessary and is a form of mental abuse. He cannot use this illness as an excuse to abuse you.
Since you are aware of his mental illness…that is still no reason for him to get away with verbal abuse. Tell him you will talk to him when he’s ready to contain that mouth. Reminder…some abuses begin with verbal and move to other abuses as well.
You need to talk to him about his hurtful words. Suggest when he gets upset it might be better that he go off by himself…talk a walk…go get a cup of coffee. Is he on meds? They might need regulated. I worked a psych unit for 18 yrs. as a mental health worker. His mental health issues are not going to go away. You just have to decide if you want to stay with him and is he willing to work on himself. Even if he is upset, there is no reason for him to be hurtful verbally towards you. Does he have a therapist or psychiatrist that you can both go to an discuss all of this? I have a friend that married a man diagnosed with schizoprenia. They have made it work for 30 yrs. When he is well he is just the sweetest and caring man but they have been through some tough times. Good luck to you and your boyfriend.
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This is a very complicated situation. I have been in your situation and his. I have PTSD and acute anxiety. And I’ve been in your shoes, too. I know about walking on eggshells. I’m seeing a psychiatrist and therapist. So is my husband. I wish we had done it sooner. He didn’t start until a few years after I did. I recommend both of you try it. You can do it alone. Go from there.
I’ve been struggling with this for 5 years. We have a 2 year old together. If he won’t get help then leaving. His mental health is not your responsibility. There should be no reason for him to speak hurtful words to you. It is NEVER ok.
Our daughter in law has mental health issues. Attempted to help BUT she refused us. Her.husband - our son- is very patient and puts up with her issues. He is blessed
Those are called triggers. I had the same issues due to ptsd. Make note what causes him to react with hurtful words. Try to avoid them. We went to a counselor who helped us to understand more. Try it.
I asked God what to do when my husband had mental problems. I went to a judge and had him committed thought he would never forgive me but when he was on medication he came home and he is 100 percent better now.Thank you Jesus
I don’t think u love or respect yourself enough. He’s unwell ( refraining from calling him sick) n ur not a psychiatrist but a normal human being (!!??). You’re enduring the abuse perhaps because of ur age. This cannot last long n certainly I hope ur not harboring any thoughts of spending ur life with him. Surely u deserve better n u can’t wish it away.
God knows a good marriage between 2 normal people is hard enough n takes a lot of work.
Just think about doing this for a lifetime.
I know you love him but you also must love yourself.
My advice stop the relationship
Sounds like he needs to do some work on his own trauma and you can’t make him go.
That sounds like the middle stage of dementia. You’re not married, Run, don,t walk! Have a talk with his doctor. . I lived this. Don,t waste your life. This will destroy you in time.
There is no way you can help. My suggestion is go your own way. Your pain n hurt will not heal him. He has to recognise this himself. Don’t worry he will cope on his own. Move forward yourself find a new love who appreciates you.
So my husband is bipolar and I have ptsd its hard u have to find balance and that is a road in and of itself. I know sometimes when we cycle we say something we don’t mean but we’ve been together almost 20 years and it’s hard at times but worth it for us. We have found talking to others and sometimes instead of talking when we are cycling we will write a letter about what we are feeling
He needs mental health zervices to get diagnosed and treated. You cannot be responsible for him he needs to be accountable for himself. You shouldnt make excuses for him. He needs needs meds and treatment to manage his emotions.
This is really hard! I have had decades of nasty treatment from a family member (direct family) and were they not a direct family member I would have walked away a long time ago. Our relationship is very strained. I try to remove myself as much as I can without hurting other family members as a product. If you choose to stay around for the long haul, you can try being honest and upfront and tell him how he makes you feel but, you also need to remind yourself not to take it all personally (not all of the time anyway). He’s probably lashing out at you because you are his “safe person” … that being said, there is only so much you should and can take before it’s time to look after you! Good luck. It’s a difficult battle to walk with someone. Look up ARAFMI or Mind Australia they are a support group for the relatives and family members of the mentally ill, this might give you some resources.
You can not fix him. He need professional counseling which he probably will not do. The only person you can fix is yourself. Either you learning to live with it and accept it or just move him out of your life. He has to want to heal but the first step is he must recognize their is a problem. If he is not willing to get him then you will just be spinning your wheels and wating your time and life. Move on from him. Thank me later!
He will not change only get worse as he gets older. Speaking from experience. You should think long and hard if this is the life you want.
You should not deal with that no women deserves to be emotionally abused!im sorry but I’ve been through it!
My mother married a man with mental issues my father. She ended up hating him cause she count understand his sickness. My dad at 12 shock treatments in the late 60 early 70. I guess it helped. I was to young to understand. When I was 5 dad put himself on a mental hospital. He stayed 6 months. We got on the bus to take him home I was so happy I adored my daddy cause he adored us. Some how mom got the bus driver to take them back to the bus station back to the hospital. We went through every thing your talking about. And when I look back on it as iam older now that when he died. Dad was schizophrenia but I didn’t know now my nephew is suffering with the same thing brought my a closed head head injury and the use of LSD I believe he’s 30 years old
You can’t, he needs to work on himself, alone! I did this for 6 years, it changed me, nobody should tolerate abuse, of any kind.
You dont have to subject yourself to abuse all in the name of love. I personally dont think u cbn salvage this situation, not in a hundred years or how much love u give. Hard and bitter fact but the truth.
Is it mental illness ?
Is it narcissism ?
does he have a specific diagnosis? or does he expect a free pass because of self diagnosis or excuses??? BTW there is no excuse for verbal abuse , physical abuse, emotional blackmail or gaslighting…it will NEVER get better…if you are unhappy today, you will be unhappy a year , five years , ten years from now…and you will look back on your life with deep regret…
You shouldn’t accept abuse no matter what the circumstances are. Your b/f needs to be in therapy and on meds.
I would run. I went through this for 14 years and after I was so beaten down he left. Now he does it to someone else and I have a beautiful life.
If he is as sweet and responsible as you say he is he would have looked for help for his problems after the first episode. If he is concerned about you you would not have to “handle him”, he would be man enough to handle his own problems.
If you need to ask, you don’t want to stay attached. Get out now. There will be someone you will want to be with no matter what. Obviously this isn’t the guy.
Maybe he needs to learn a hard lesson…like if he is mean…you are outta there. Even if it is a truly mental health issue like PTSD or something…it needs to stop. It’s abusive and he can’t continue to act this way and think it’s alright.
Go to Dr. Phil’s Sundance psychiatric Dr. Get on the right meds.until then don’t be a victim of hurtful words
When you stay, it reinforces that’s he’s allowed to act this way…
Be patient. try to calm him down. if all else fails, maybe you should utilize other options, my opinion.
Sorry. Run the other way. You can’t help. He needs therapy and medication.
You both need counseling. And lots of prays
Young lady you need to get out now before it is to late.this will get worse
You can’t help this man and you need to run now before you have kids. You are asking for a life of pure hell.