Join him just constantly hound for a turn on the game.role reversal?
Literally grab your things and leave for a whole evening after work. Let him handle everything alone.
Read this
It explains how and why you feel what you feel
You need to be validated in your feelings.
Take the lap top haha. Well I would tell him look we are supposed to be a team. You need to help. & if that doesn’t work take the lap top
Ask to play with him. Talk while you’re playing. One of the things my husband and I had in common(when we were dating) is video games. We play and talk when the kids go to bed. Sometimes gaming is stress relief for us. Had a bad day shoot a virtual bad guy. Now if you’ve talked to him and he doesn’t want to help with the kids tell him you’re stretched to thin and if he doesn’t help then you want to get a nanny.
We set up specific game nights so one of us can have some time to zone out and focus on our games, or other hobbies. Not like a regulated schedule. But more of a distresser after work on some days. Sometimes it takes a few nights in a row to fully decompress for us.
It may take starting off with other examples here of taking a night off and having him handle it and sitting down and having a discussion.
But coming from a gaming couple we know that we need to be parents first then still find a moment to be ourselves and just find that balance.
I was having this issue with my husband for a little while and honestly I just learned to speak up and be firm about needing help and time for him to communicate with just me. Once we had a clear discussion on each other’s wants and needs everything became much easier and I got the time I was craving.
Tell him that it’s irresponsible, immature, and lazy to leave you with the kids all the time while he sits around ignoring you and the kids playing his game. He should want to spend time with his family. Tell him no more games until both children are sleeping. My husband loves to play Xbox, but he only does after the kids bedtime. Yeah, your husband works and needs to relax, but so do you. He can play after the kids are asleep for the night, he r not at all is what you should tell him.
Maybe he’s the breadwinner? If thats his way of relaxing then let him be. You say he helps. It’s just not the amount YOU want.
Change the wifi password, go out that night lesving him with the kids without leaving out any supper prepared?
Unpopular opinion: go batshit crazy on him about it.
Sometimes you gotta give them a taste of their own medicine for them to get it. Let him handle all you do for just one night. Leave the house, turn off the phone. Yea hes gonna be mad, but so what? That’s the only way they see what all you go through sometimes.
Talk to him instead of facebook about marital issues.
As the wife of a gamer I will say this… it used to bother me. Then one day I realized that he was this same way from day 1 and I chose to marry and have a child with him. I realized if I didn’t like it, I should’ve not accepted it from day 1 and not tried to make him change later. I also realized that while he’s not available as much as I’d prefer, he’s also home and not out being unavailable for me while being available for someone else. Plain and simple, don’t even attempt to change him. Compromise with him. Come up with a plan that works for you and present it to him. Like maybe he can come home and unwind on his game for an hour but then you want 2 hours of his undivided attention that he focuses on you and your kids or you want him to wait until your one child goes to bed before he games again. He needs to know you’re trying to work with him and not nag him. Once a gamer, always a gamer. That’s called acceptance.
Go about your business an just be thankful he leaves you alone!
When he gets home inform him you have to go out for the night and that dinner is in the oven and leave. When he calls completely lost in what to do then let him know that’s how you feel and need him to step up and be Dad and help you his children.
Tell him in the morning before work that you want a meeting after dinner and that you come before gaming and put a note on the tv reminder adult meeting with your wife and if he ignores you then next night puck up the kids from school and go out to dinner just you and the kids no hubby.
When he gets mad ask him do you want to have our meeting now if he says no just walk away, go watch tv, when he gets hungry and discovers your not feeding him he might start to get a clue.
Tell him you want a meeting the next morning for after work, if he plops down in front of the game again then you and the kids go out again without dad and do not bring him anything back. Then ask are you ready to talk now if he says no than ignore him
My mom would pack up and go on vacation and leave him with all 4 kids for a week. He appreciated her so much more when she’d get back
Compromise
2days our of week he needs to not be in game mode
Have him help on his days off or stop cleaning
And cooking all together.
It will irritate and make him realize how much u do
Make life easier but plastic utensils and paper plates
Set one day for laundry instead of everyday… leave clothes on couch for a few days
Eat out or order in a lot more
It’s not just that he’s not cleaning at all
He’s neglecting u
So it’s a bigger issue
He’s addicted to gaming
If wants a relationship with u he can’t game 24/7
U didn’t marry him so he can be an irresponsible teenager.ur not his mother.
It’s time address if he’s going to be accountable or just get used to this life😐
I also have a gamer at home but he has priorities and helps and only plays few days a week and not all damn day. I don’t feel neglected and we share the chores. If a man wants to be a team player to make u happy … he will do it
Go out for a day of your own and have him take the children to understand what you go through everyday
I have to do this I take care of 3 handsome boys 11 yrs 6yrs 1yrs and sometimes things get so crazy and he let’s me take the car and I’m gone for hours doing what ever I need to do for my self and when. I return my husband is losing his mind
Ugggghhh I have this issue with my man and his ps4. Lol. Have him pick a time. You’ll either have to go to bed alone, or get no help. Gaming is his thing, his release. As soon as he gets home he should be playing with his kids, asking about the day, yada yada. Playing with them while you make dinner or vice versa. I don’t know your children’s ages but bath times? I’m mean really he should be helping you. Do you guys get home at the same time? He needs to be present in the evening for sure. then give him a time limit on week days of like an hour and a half or something but you don’t want to go to bed alone.
i guess trade him in if u dont like this mode men are like busses onr come every fifteenth min u dont like it leave if ur afaird to ve alonr deal with it
Go out and let him look after the kids.
Do NOT tolerate being taken advantage of.
I never get adult men/women playing video games for hours like grow the F up and live in the real world specially if you have kids a wife/husband I mean come on plus is it like a American thing because I’m in the uk and don’t hear much about gaming
My husband and I made a deal. He gets on his game 3 of the 7 days of the week, and only after our son is in bed. I told him as a husband and father he should be spending more time with his family than on his game. It’s been a huge weight lifted off my shoulders and we are in a better place.
He is hiding. Doesn’t matter the activity. Though with the games, I would ask him how he wants his children to see that hours spent on that one thing will yield anything for anyone in the family. And face it, if he’s hiding, you aren’t getting what you need outside of the kids either. Don’t settle, don’t be afraid to push back, it’s your only life.
Wives and moms, you are all way to patient. If you enable him to do this all these years he will continue to do it. It depends on what you want, but i expect parenthood to be a balance of both helping out. I would set expectations, go to counseling and then if it doesn’t change leave for a few days/ week if that doesn’t work . You all deserve more!! Good luck!!
Tell him how you feel. I don’t care what any woman says. He helped make them and he lives there too. He can get off his butt and help. You work too and should not be taking the entire burden of being an adult. It is time for him to fully grow up and take on his half of the responsibilities.
You get what you tollerate.
You get what you allow.
He doesn’t have depression or issues. He is just lazy and does not want to be a parent. He is also spoilt because you the mother have allways done everything. Stop spoiling and enabling them!
One of my best friends went through a similar situation a few years ago with her husband. Not to say this is what’s going on in your case, but her husband was having an affair with another woman through one of his video games. I would encourage couples counseling for both of your sakes. Best of luck!
I wish i could come home and play video games i do but my kids and family always come first. Honestly your S.O needs a wake up call because that’s not ok. I come home and help with dinner as need get kids ready for bed, finish hw, whatever needs to be done then if my SO is doing her own thing then so will I, but kids family first not his own thing.
Mine watch alot of sports but ensure that his share of the house work is done be it before or after watching. So no complaints here! You just need to talk it out and have a plan in place. Maybe your husband doesn’t know what you are going through. Marriage is all about sharing mutually. If you cannot share even your thoughts then it should end.
I work boyfriend works when he comes home right to his “room” after he greets our son , then I cook dinner no help sometimes he will play with our son sometimes not he’s so into movies it’s on real!
Today I worked 3 pt cleaning jobs he spent 88 percent of the time in his room ( my son had friends over ) but every weekend is like that! I’m home during the day have my son and boyfriends daughter 8 hours plus during the day then work 7 days a week! I pay for all the food, kids clothes, entertainment for them etc etc! He thinks he deserves to relax all day! I don’t think so we bicker about this often he will
Change his ways for maybe 24 hours or the dam tablet I would like to throw it across the room!
I am on the same boat, except hes on his video game as soon as I clock out from work (work from home). I’ve thought about smashing the Playstation several times
All i can say is I’m glad i have the man i have been together over 20 yrs .he goes to work everyday …comes home spends time with his boys and i and we watch tv together till bed …he don’t even play video games so im lucky there
Maybe you and him could play games together for a couple of hours, once or twice a week. You have a day to yourself, and your husband has a day to himself. We all need to do our own self-care.
Honestly, i know how he feels. That said…tell him directly. Tell him to save games until after daughter goes to bed
Sounds like it’s time for a mom chart. With my hubby, its seldom he actually comes home and doesnt do a chore. The only problem is the stuff he wants to do doesnt help me at all. Like he wants to do yard work and work on his boat organize his tools stuff like that. So I give him a few minutes to decompress. Then I hand him the baby and walk out of the room and go do what I want. He got his decompress then it’s time for mine. When i come back hes ready to do what he wants to do. I tell him what time I need help, what’s for dinner, what I didnt get to yet and say, ok come back in at xx:xx time so you can help with this this and this. If your husband cant handle that, Make a chart and point to it. Lol
Sounds a lot like my ex-husband. Real men don’t play games, at least they don’t play before the kids and household things are done first. I wouldn’t tolerate it. And I’d be checking to make sure that’s all he’s doing when he’s up all night playing.
I would advise couples therapy. I had that problem with my ex and it ended badly. If you wanna save it talk about it with a professional bc obviously your words are not getting through to him and that’s going yup cause more friction and upset
Stop doing everything…i have a special needs child…my husband never did anything…he never knew any of her medical history…UNTIL i made him look stupid…we often go to different dr.s with my daughter for different things…when the nurse would turn to me and ask me for her history I’d tell her…ask him…he would answer her name…then a blank…idk…idk…idk…so after doing this a few times he started to pay attention…he can tell u all of her dr.s…she has many…and tell u all of her disabilities…she has many…and thanks be to God…only on 3 meds…so stop doing every single thing…he will notice…ask him to help…dont demand…ask him to pitch in…
I go through the same thing with my husband daily and instead of games it’s working on his car. It’s like we don’t matter at all and no matter how many times we talk it’s still the same crap. We are just as bad because we allow it though
We just came to the conclusion do it after kids are in bed because if he does it when they are awake he isn’t attentive at all and gets sucked into it
I put a child with a poopy diaper on his lap and told him to change it. And while he is was at it, change his hobbies. I told him you have a real life and grown up responsibilities. Love your games or love us. Players choice. My hubby manned up. He is a rare breed. But with that being said… I am crystal clear about what my life will look like.
Gaming is sometimes an escape for those suffering from depression
Clearly and calmly tell him what you need him to do. Make a list for him even. Sometimes they just need to be told what to do. Lol.
That’s a reason a divorced my husband. Just so lazy, unavailable emotionally and always on his Playstation
Im the gamer in my small family. It’s my escape from my head. My old man is a movie fanatic. Here is how we make this work : we take care of home and baby together none of that you do this and i did that then we game together for a little bit and after we watch a movies till bed.
If he wants to play games and be take. Care of give him mommy’s address. Now if he wants to be a partner and a parent it’s time to step up. You are helping him not have to pull all the financial burden it’s time for him to help with the family
When he comes home sneak out for the night and let him deal with the kids
This exact same thing ruined my first marriage, put your foot down now or it will only irritate you to the point of no return.
Guess I got a unicorn. My old man works, cooks, spends time with us, and he is a balls to the wall gamer. Plays every day. Sorry to see these ladies with these issues. Sometimes men are who they are from the beginning though and only get found out until time and effort has already been put into the relationship. I just asked my husband though and he says a lot of dudes play all the time due to depression or because their SO not bringing something to the table. So you really won’t know unless you make the effort to communicate and see what’s up. It’s definitely an effort on both people’s part. It’s a hard thing measure without talking to one another.
Know your role thay ladies insane. Living this life sucks! I’ve been there! I did infact get divorced after 6 years of it. I dont regret leaving a man who was never an active part and who neglected me and the kids.
You could make plans one night let him tend the kids for a bit he’ll go to bed maybe lol
Sit down and talk to your husband and explain your feelings and what you expect of him because I lost my husband April 15th of this year I would do anything to have him back we had our ups and down but he was my best friend my soulmate so just sit down and talk to your husband
After 22 years of the same, mine told me he didn’t love me and hadn’t for 5 years. I feel so used. Don’t become me, 47 starting over.
And that’s why my ex husband is an ex
He will do it, just giving 6 months. My husband is the same
Mines 58 I don’t have that issue
But u better put your foot down
My husband knows better haha. You tell him you didn’t make these kids yourself and to get off his ass and help you.
If You can’t communicate are you really right for each other
How about taking damn controllers away
You give him time out and say sorry but your not spending all night you get x amount of time and if he doesnt listen kick his ass out
I’d take the power cord and tell him he can have it back when he becomes the husband and father y’all need him to be. But… I’m a jerk like that.
Beat him to the video games ask him what’s for supper, do everything he does. If it doesn’t work leave him because it’s to late.
Mine did this at first when we first got married. I told him if he wanted to b alone with his video games I could just leave. That I got married to have a partner. Someone to spend time with. But I could also b single again… He quickly got it and never did it again. To this day he will ask me if he can play some video games, or if he can buy a game. I always tell him that’s fine. He can play it once in a while just not all the time.
Video game addiction is a very real issue. These people need help because I have seen a friend of mine throw away all the gaming stuff and dude lost it on her then went out and bought all new stuff using their joint account.
Turn off the WiFi and hide his machine lol
Gaming is an addiction
Good luck. I did that for 17 years and he set me free!!
Following because I have the same problem.
Kristie k Stancel , a role? Seriously ? I’ve stood in a role “ of a parent of 6kids., and 90% on my own as a “mother” and “father” for my kids., and I Am a very strong woman., but even I wouldn’t say that’s the way to deal with things .!
as a Roll model himself., he HELPED PRODUCE A BABY , he should help take care of things too ! End of story!!!
Completely and utterly unacceptable… This man-boy needs a reality check
Just take a shotgun to his laptop… problem solved
My husband and I had this issue as well. I served my husband printed online divorce papers and left him. It was so bad he didn’t notice that I had packed our kids stuff, my stuff, and what not and had moved before handing him these papers. The only things still left was part of the kitchen and the furniture. I never filed the paperwork and we worked things out over a period of months and are together now,but still have a bit of issues now with him gaming and not doing enough. Definitely not as bad as it used to be and normally once I mention the issue he steps up and does his best. He falls back into his bad habit sometimes but I’m here to remind him to get in line.
Tell him someone is about to come over and watch him panic.
Hide the laptop
“Lose” the charger chords and controllers for a few days. Then tell him how nice its bern having him not playing his games. Ask him to set a timer so he can still play and spend time with you. Tell him you miss him.
I have the same issue
Take the darn power cord
Sounds like a young man. Tell him to man up or GTFO!
Try talking with him about it and see why he goes straight to video games after work. Try listening to this podcast, it might help. I know it’s really helped my marriage, don’t give up. About - Marriage Therapy Radio
No sex for him til he pays more attention
Good luck. I wish you the best. That never happen for me. I am now a single mom after 10 years of marriage and carry the same load that I always have.
Step up into a woman’s role…we were built to be strong for a reason. Most men still want to work and provide, us women have to do both, or don’t have a man???..know your role #southernwomen
Don’t play games, don’t be petty. Every person needs their own hobbies. But try understanding why he hides in games and doesn’t attempt to help. Did he have a good example of what a father should be when he was growing up? Does he have abuse in his past that prevents him from acknowledging the needs of others? Have you tried counseling?
There is nothing wrong with it at all (at leasy for our house) my man plays everyday, sometimes more than others, but he also fathers and is my man at the same time. Hes been laid off but helps around the house and helps me with the kids, we spend time together. We all have our own “me” time every day/night to wind down and collect our thoughts or relax after a hard day. Instead of yelling or arguing we go to our spots and do our thing then come together calmly to talk
Communication. Sit down and tell him how you’d like things to go and if hes not on board pack your bags or live with it because hes not going to change. My husband use to play games and never help, even skipped my dr appts when pregnant to play games. He finally realized what he was doing when i left with our kid and didn’t come back for days… he spent the whole time on the couch and when he realized he hadn’t seen or talked to us in 3 days he put the games away. Last year I had to go full blown crazy before I finally got help. Im a stay at home mom of 3 and my husband is a nurse. He literally done nothing when he was not working. I went crazy then we talked that night and things have been much better. Noone can do it all.
Try and sit down and tell him how your feeling if he loves you he will listen work out a schedule that shares the housework and child care some people need to be told what needs to be done I do hope it works out for you both and life becomes better
The sad part is that you shouldn’t have too, he’s a grown adult and should know or at least listened to your concerns the first time. Playing games should not come before your family, hobbies are a nice break but you need to be fulfilling your family and work responsibilities first… especially with young kids. Young kids are exhausting period, I would tell him that you need to have a serious talk after the kids go to bed. Lay everything out on the table and listen to his side also. Everyone needs a break
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You can divorce him and try to find someone better
Have sex with your neighbor.
Leave his ass there with those kids and dont answer your phone all day. Bet that shit works
Disconnect the internet
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There is no excuse for his bahaviour. He needs to be a adult. He wanted a wife and children so now he has to be a husband and father. TELL HIM TO GET OFF HIS ASS. This shit happens when you have kids with a emotionally unavailable manchild instead of a mature man.
You should really talk to your man. Stop brining your problems to facebook. Like i do everything at home and play vidio games. And i make sure my wife is taken care of. But this is for you to talk over with your man. And get the shit taken care of.
For me personally I just spaz out. My fiancé will go through spurts of neglecting me and his fatherly duties. For like a few days every so often to play to much video games after work while I deal with the kids and working and my schooling as well their schooling. When he starts saying he tired from work I yell and spaz out “you don’t think Im fu**ing tired too? No get your ass up and help me with these kids because I want sleep too.” If the yelling don’t work I throw shit. And boom. Then he is an amazing daddy and hubby . I worked 2 jobs too and he worked 1. I am in school full time and volunteer at both my kids schools as well as dealing with all extracurricular activities. I cant sit down and enjoy video games so I wont allow him to do it. If I request assistance at any given moment then I expect to get it. No excuses.