How can I open up more to my partner?

I talked with my partner about him not caring about my wellbeing. It seems like everything is always about him him him; it is never about me; he just never pays attention to my emotional well being. He saw his fault, apologized, and he’s making things right now. My problem is I’m failing to open up; I’m not used to having him paying so much attention to me. Ho do I open up?


Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How can I open up more to my partner?

It’s so uncomfortable to do this when you’re not used to it….
Honestly the best thing you could do it just tell yourself: I’m going to be me and voice how I feel and if we don’t actually see eye to eye then at least I’ll know now instead of 10+ years down the road.


Write a letter? Or text? Message? Takes off the pressure and gives your partner chance to absorb and filter what you’ve said!


Try writing your thoughts and feelings in a diary or in a letter to your partner.


Anything I can’t get my mouth to speak comes out in text…and when I do speak I feel so stupid that it comes out like word vomit cause I feel really uncomfortable but I shouldn’t cause I love this man and he loves me and I should be able to tell him anything without fear of being judged or questioned…

1 Like

Honestly, if you feel safe around him, this shouldn’t be an issue. Are you afraid you’ll lose him if you voice how you feel? There’s no fear in love. Try saying what you’re feeling and go from there.

1 Like

Slowly let little things come out in conversation, and build from there.


My biggest help before I over came the same issue, was writing letters. Even if he’s sitting right next to me I would write a letter to him and hand it to him. After he read it he would come to and talk about what I wrote. His understanding and willingness to talk it out was a HUGE help in overcoming it. But that after conversation is easier to have after you’ve got it initially out there. You’ll eventually be able to skip the paper, but don’t force yourself, because you can unintentionally set off your own defense mechanisms which is never good for communicating.

1 Like

Start off a little at a time. But push yourself a bit more each time so you’re not stuck in your comfortable discomforts. He’s learning to be a safe person to go to. I really like the write it down suggestion. Talking about your emotions and all that out loud can feel very intense which might make you continue to not open up. Take it day by day

When ur comfortable and he earns ur trust back

One day at a time. Start little, like how you are feeling at that moment or day and build upon it. Eventually you will work up to being able to openly converse about your feelings.

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How can I open up more to my partner?

Well you showed him the error of his ways when it comes to you, so now show him the same in return, thats what you said you wanted, and you blessed to have a man that cares that much for you that he stopped and listened, and acted on it

Small steps at a time.

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How can I open up more to my partner?

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How can I open up more to my partner?

I was in this position at one time in my life sorry to say it didn’t work out but I found someone who cares about me and pays attention the same way I do to him and I’ll tell you it was not easy at the beginning but one step at a time try sharing little things and it gets better and easier as you go along. :hugs::hugs::hugs: he loves you and admits his flaws so that’s a great start

I write my husband letters. I’m able to get all my thoughts and feelings out and organize my thoughts and then I give him the letter. This helps me to put things in order and to be clear and to the point (which he appreciates). We are celebrating our 19 year wedding anniversary this year.


It’s never another person’s job to look after OUR emotional wellbeing I’m afraid.
You pay a psychologist/counsellor for that.


You’re expecting h to be a mind reader. It’s unfair of you to expect him to care when you’re bottled up emotionally. I would seek therapy for yourself.

I personally started therapy for myself. Once I started working and focusing on me things got better. I am able to open up and communicate better. Before I bottled it up and exploded. Now I have tools to express my self and be heard and to hear my partner.

I think some of you totally missed the point of this woman’s post. She isn’t complaining she is asking how to react to the positivity he is now giving. She’s asking for help so that she can better be what he needs as well. For the OP…I don’t know the answer but I struggle with the same issue. So many partners who made me feel like I was only there to tend to their needs. Now, when I get positive attention and someone who cares about me it scares me. I would say seek counseling for sure and learning to be content with yourself. Counseling for sure though.


It’s a transition & progress. Be patient with yourself & trust the process🙏

Therapy. He can’t (nor shouldn’t be expected to) make you happy. You’re mental well-being is your responsibility. It’s imperative that you seek the help you need or else it’ll put unnecessary strains on the relationship. You said you wanted more attention and now that you have it, you don’t know what to do. You seem confused, professional help might be the way to go. Gl


You’re joking, right?you get what you want, and now you’re experiencing difficulty…seek professional help.


It wont be instant, tell him! Explain you’re not used it and you’ll both need time to adjust.
Lucky you, enjoy!

You can write down things that are too difficult. You can always Google top questions to ask someone to get to know them better. Although it may be silly stuff or stuff you know, it builds trust, gets the conversation going, and tends to help with opening up. Just remember to be honest and try to communicate respectfully.

1 Like

Just one word at a time. Even if you don’t know where to start, as long as you start and simply say " I don’t know how to word it but…" even the most open people still have things they struggle to say. As long as you are both trying, you will get there


I understand you need to open up to him, but you may only need to stand up for yourself and his response will determine whether he is worth opening up to!

Write it down if you struggle to say it, he can either read it or you read it out.
However make sure you acknowledge and be thankful that he has changed for you when you speak to him


You have put up barriers which is a good thing! He caused you to do that,if he’s true with his actions and will continue with them you will start trusting him again,I feel once you have someone continually break you it’s hard to allow that person in!


Lower your expectations! Unmet expectations destroy relationships everyday. Sad that you started the conversation and then weren’t able to finish!!

Make the effort… it will seem foreign at the beginning… but as you do it more it will become the new norm… great he’s trying.

I tried for 25 years and got a broken mind and soul.
Some people are just narcissist and simply can’t or are incapable of empathy and are just simply all about them
25 years a broken heart.mind and soul
. Major health issues.
Consider cutting your losses if you feel this way now it will only get worse if his is not prepared yo meeting half way or counseling
DO I I SHOULD HAVE aspecialaly if his family treats Yiu with the same unimportance.
He will never change if that’s how he was raised.
Sorry for your loss


Sounds like he’s dmned if he doesn’t, but he’s still dmned if he does anyhow. You’re sending mixed messages which will not encourage his being more attentive. It will push him again. Decide what you want and communicate that repetitively.

Nothing like beating up a relationship to death. Some people are never happy and keep nitpicking until their partner leaves. Then they go on moaning about that. Be happy and give it a rest. Just reading this is exhausting! Can’t imagine what your partner must endure.


One step at a time. Start with one small concern. If he truly reacts like he cares then later bring up something more important to your feelings. Have to give him a chance.

I really hate to say it but Classic :joy:

Why not leave, life is way too short to stay with or settle for someone who treats you this way, you deserve better, someone whos going to love you for you, whos going to make you smile and laugh a lot :purple_heart:

Typical. You get what you want and it’s still not good enough :clown_face:


Show them your butt hole.

Do what’s right for YOU, YOU,YOU!

Have sex and cuddle and talk after works for me :ok_hand:

yeah- there’s a serious unbalance happening here ~

First he wasn’t showing you concern & that was a problem. Now he’s showing you concern & it’s a problem?


My ex and I use to write in a book. We would keep the book until we’ve written something and then hand it back. We both sucked at communication until we did the book thing. It doesn’t have to be anything major. Something simple like this happened today and this is how I felt or just your feelings in general about your s/o

I say just go for it!! It’s always much better out then in… he moved for you, now you move for him…maybe it was scary and uncomfortable for him too!! Good luck!! I have faith in y’all…

Just be honest and true, yes tell the truth. Practice in private with sincere prayers ash God for help and inspiration. You can do this if you try. Love yourself, love your spouse Bug (((HUG))) From Arizona

Just enjoy the present.

Follow ur heart…what U feel comfortable with…go from there…small steps at a time!!
U will get through this…
And beside U only have one parents…enjoy them forget the past!!!

You asked him to show that he cares more and he did. Box checked :white_check_mark:. Now reciprocate. It’s human nature not rocket science. Lean in. It’s a good thing. My bill for this therapy session is in the mail.:grinning:

The word narcissist comes to mind . Run. OR you must get a someone to help facilitate the changes and growth it will take, like a therapist . If he won’t participate , go back to suggestion one. :grimacing:

Sometimes it’s easier to write things down for people versus verbal communication, especially if you don’t like any kind of conflict or struggle with controlling emotions when you try to open up.

I find when I’m very upset or emotional about something I will write down my feelings and just basically vomit my brain/thoughts onto paper and then leave it Ina drawer for a few days then go back and read it. If I still feel the same I give it to the person, sometimes I re-write it a little pending how I feel after looking back after the few days

1 Like

Go back to the first problem,that will solve your second problem

Bro what do women even want

I have this same issue. I just keep on trying to make him notice. I guess I’m honestly here looking for advice as well.