You are overwhelmed. Can you cut back on your hours? Also get your husband to help out if he doesn’t already. He can give up playing softball to help you with the kids and laundry. I know it’s hard but if you both do 50% it should be a little better. I held down a full time job with 4 kids to take care of and had to do it all myself. It ain’t easy.
Start teaching the 6 year old now so they don’t fuss later! Teamwork ! My hubby unloads the dishwater I load it, he does his own laundry, he cleans the bathrooms thoroughly once a month he keeps the stairways clean. I do the rest. Not worth bickering over you have a long time ahead of you. Make a plan now, teach child , share tasks, or fight forever…
1 Like
Look it’s normal, yall are normal. Try to make a deal to not fight about it. Fighting doesn’t make it go away. As the mother you will probably be the one doing more, accept how much more you can handle and just don’t fight. Don’t critique how other is doing it. Who cares as long as it gets done
Sound like good roommate etiquette should be something worked out before any moving in together, marriage or kids. If a person expects you to be a servant for them, you need a different partner. Hormones slow down, a slovenly approach to chores does not improve.
1 Like
Or make clean up a game… If you make it fun they will do it without even noticing
1 Like
If you can afford a cleaning lady, that is always a good option. My husband always says that our cleaning lady is cheaper than marital counseling 
I was in the exact same predicament! My husband and I both work full time and we have a 6yr old boy and 3yr old girl.
The best things that have helped us are 1) I order dinner meals from Factor (weekly delivery of 12 dinners) so I almost never have to worry about or cook dinner and instead use that time for dishes or some light cleaning, and 2) We pay my mother in-law $100 every 2 weeks to come clean our house. This helps the most obviously!
Now that our kiddos are older, we also have them help clean up their messes and we have a rule that toys need to stay upstairs in their rooms. Downstairs is my space and I don’t want to see toys everywhere lol.
Laundry is still my nemesis and that is still a struggle but at least that’s really the only big thing I have to worry about! Thankfully I work from home so when laundry piles up I can take breaks from my computer and catch up on laundry.
I have ms so struggle to keep on top of housework but I have cleaners that come in once a week and keep on top of jobs and the best thing ever
can u afford to hire someone to clean like once a week? im a stay at home mom and i still suck at keeping the house clean lol
1 Like
With both of you working maybe you should hire someone to come in and do a deep cleaning every so often and then just do maintenance after that. Involve the children in picking up their toys and putting them in boxes before going to bed. Children love to be helpful. As long as your house is clean relax a little - clutter isn’t the end of the world. If both you and your husband share the chores it won’t be so overwhelming for either. Share bed time activities with you children. They grow up so fast and will remember you spending time with you and not that you had an immaculate house.
1 Like
I used to sorry ABOUT having a messy house. Dishes EVERYWHERE. Always a lot of laundry. BUT I realized spending time with MY family was more important. Have your son do some easy jobs . HAVE hubby help too. MAKE it work. Wont be perfect BUT dont sweat it !!
Get a cleaning lady to do cleaning, you can handle the picking up of things.
If my furniture is dusted, floors washed, laundry done and bathrooms all clean, what is there to, clean kitchen after dinner every night.
Make sure you get the kids involved in helping tidy up. Many hands make light work. My four year old knows how to pack away his toys and offers to vacuum 
We have two golden retrievers so I vacuum A LOT! I have found my son witnesses me cleans and likes to help me.
When you pick something up, always put it away and not just thinking you’ll do it later. This saves double-handling and helps a lot in keeping things in order.
Share the load with hubby. Whilst hubby might bath the kids, I’ll vacuum / dust / clean the kitchen or vice versa.
Clothes washing can be tough too, especially in winter when they take longer to dry. Try folding whilst watching tv at night. Make sure to put it straight away and get hubby to put his own clothes away.
I find the 30mins after the kids have gone to bed the most valuable and it sets me up for the next day.
It can be hectic but you’re doing great!
Hire help. Spend 10 minutes each you, your husband and 6 yr. old daughter straighten up. Never leave a room empty handed. Pick up something and put it away.
Ford your husband not live here not eat here. These are not his Children? Maybe he should pitch in. Because these days it takes noth working to make it.
The most important thing is: keep up with your husband and your kids everything else is secondary, do what you can and don’t lose your objective. Married for 45 years and we manage as it comes. Good luck!
Dishwashing machine is a big time saver at my house. As was the robot vacuum but the toys have to be picked up.
You got to tell everyone to pick up after then self even the baby right now. The baby right now will think it fun to put away thing. And it will be easier for you and your husband. Or have a fun room for the two children and they only play in there and you can shut The door
Girl you are not alone !! You have two kids, your house will never be spotless no matter how hard you try, unless you hire a maid. As a single mom of two kids, your house sounds just like mine. My suggestion would to be take a day off to clean, don’t go to friends or any activities until after its done. Send kids to grandparents or a trusted friend and clean ! Thats literally the only way I can keep on top of things and let me tell you my house is a wreck by the end of the work week but cleaned on my first day off and using the second day to relax and play with kids.
Just enjoy your family and dont worry about the housework, do what you can and hire someone to do the rest or let it go
First of all lots of hugs. It’s stressful trying to run a household and work full time even without kids let alone with kids.
It’s not clear in your post how much hubby contributes to the household chores, but if he’s not then that’s the first port of call. He’s not “helping” you do housework. He lives there. He contributes to the mess and therefore should be contributing to the clean up. For all I know he may already be doing that - it’s just that all too often I hear women talking about how “they” can’t stay on top of the household chores when they’re the only ones doing anything at all to keep on top of the household chores!!
I agree with Neesy D’Ombrain - a six year old is also more than capable of putting away their own toys, keeping their play areas clean, putting laundry in the basket etc. It’s not “mean” or “harsh” it’s teaching them life skills that they need to learn or they’ll be helpless later in life. I too did simple household chores as a little kid and it’s not unfair or unreasonable- in fact NOT making them do it is treating them like they’re less competent than they actually are and quite unhelpful to their development.
Also don’t forget that expecting your house to look like a display home with two full time working parents and young kids is just unrealistic. It’s a bit like looking at an airbrushed model in a glossy magazine and wondering why you can’t look like that - it’s not representative of reality. Honestly love it sounds to me like the only thing you’re “doing wrong” is having highly unrealistic ideas about what your house “should” look like that flies in the face of the reality of full time work and children.
1 Like
You and your husband need to divide up the household chores. If you cook, he cleans up. One cleans bathrooms and the other vacuums the floor. That’s how my husband and I set up chore duty. The six y-o can pick up and put back his toys, etc. He’s old enuf to start doing some chores like make up his bed. You could start the weekly chores on Thursday and finish up on Friday. How can you have 4 loads of laundry every nite? The hour you are visiting with your husband, you both can be doing something like doing laundry (folding clothes). You can take turns getting kids ready for bed AND STRAIGHTENING up the bathroom when done with kid baths. Get creative with the division of chores.
You must clean along the way…do not let it get out of hand. Schedule to wash 2 x a week…better yet daily. Do not let anything get out of hand. Toys should be picked up by the 6 yr old. Your husband should share in the cleaning as well. Team effort!!!
I used to pick one deep clean job a week or two… fridge, stove, windows, curtains, deep freeze, shampoo carpets, clean vehicles, it all works out as long ad you pick up the daily tasks as you see them… or not…lol! Just do what you can - it will all come out in the wash.
You’re doing your best, you’re a great momma and a devoted wife on top of every thing else. Don’t worry too much about the small stuff… it’s temporary! Before you know it your babies will be grown up and the house will be clean and tidy all the time because they won’t be around. I’m sure you’ll miss all this chaos. You’re just doing your best like most of us parents 
1 Like
Hubby and I dedicate 4 hours for house cleaning on Saturday and Sunday, the rest of the weekend is family time, my eldest has his chores he has to do, and my 2 year old helps clean up too, we all live here we all clean, during the week we “pick up” and “tidy” but we all pull our weight on the weekend.
1 Like
Drop laundry except for a load of underwear at the laundry by the pound. Now it is not overwhelming to do a room each evening.
take 20 mins a day with him and throw on music and do as much cleaning as you can in that time. then be done till tomorrow.
My sister works and her husband also, they have a 7 year old and are very busy and have plans all the time, Im actually a professional organizer and specialist in big projects. Ive organized her home to a point where it keeps itself clean and i go over and clean the basics for her cause she has no time. Maybe you can find someone to help you. If i was close i would come clean for you so you dont have to worry and show you some tips and tricks to keep things clean and neat without doing anything. Sometimes having a system is half the battle
It would be nice to have a magic wand to fix everything but that isn’t reality.
If the kids are taken care of, that is the main thing.
Your 6 year old is old enough to help (small tasks, more as he gets older).
Sit down with hubby and work out a reasonable cleaning schedule, you both work you both need to help each other.
If there is money in the budget see about someone coming in once a week to help out, wash floors, vacuum?
Give yourself a break now and then
If I was working that many hours I’d look at getting a cleaner , or using a laundrette for the washing ,
Your kids should be picking up their own toys. If they have so much that there’s nowhere to put it, get rid of half. Your husband should be sharing the housework with you. Hire a housekeeper if you need to, stay home on the weekends. Figure out what works. If one of you has a problem, both of you need to be looking for a solution, not just you.
It was the same when I went were raising our children, things started to change when the kids were old enough to help. Once they had their 10th birthday, each of them were responsible for their own laundry and tidings up their rooms, if not done, privileges were not handed out, visiting with friends, phone calls, favorite TV shows, etc. If an effort was shown, I would reward them with a treat, whenever everyone did their thing, we would go to the library and have some treats.
On Saturday, once they were teenagers, we each took an assignment and got out 2.2 acre yard cleaned up, at that point, bonfires with friends were possible.
Don’t dismay, you are doing your best, and just make sure to enjoy your family time, because once they grow up, those days are not important.
I do one load of laundry a day to stay caught up. We also do a 10 minute pick up every night before bed. Each one picks up stuff lying around and puts it in its place.
1 Like
Happy children and a happy husband are more important than a spotless house.
Can you get up a half hour earlier in the morning. That half hour just might wash the supper dishes, and pick up the clutter in the living room. You will feel better when you both arrive home. After dinner play with your don and make a game of picking up toys so you start the day fresh. You are doing a good job of loving your family. Pat yourself on the back. My mother in law always said, take the mess with you. Put things away as you use them. Make it a game with your six year
When I worked as long as the dirty stuff was done. Whatever else we got done. Was icing. Houses aren’t supposed to be museums. Especially with little ones and 2 working parents. Or even 1 parent.
Don’t kill yourself to keep up with the Jones. As long as trash and dirt and things that are hazardous are done. Just do what you can as you can.
Divide the chores up 50/50. If there’s something you both argue about getting done, then take it on yourself & he has to watch the kids while it gets done. 6 year old is also old enough to start taking on chore responsibilities of their own. I was doing my own laundry, washing dishes, vacuuming & dusting by the time I was 9 years old.
Sounds like my house, we just do what we can when we can do it. Make sure tasks are being split between you fairly. We have a baby and a toddler so I assume it won’t be this hard forever… right guys???
Don’t worry and don’t argue about daft housework
It’s will still be there when you are not so enjoy life and just do what you can
Get a bit of a system going
A few mins a day
Washer on and dishwasher if you have one
Beds as soon as you get up
Food easy stuff that takes less time
Get a window cleaner
Get two vacuum cleaners one up and one down
Ge
T the
Kids to help in a fun way
Get a gardener
Take the car through the car wash
Share the chores
If something didn’t get done don’t fret over it
Xxx
Your both working all those hours and making good money? Pay someone to clean thru once a week, and a sitter for a date night out. Good luck😓
Don’t stress the mess, when you get home concentrate on 1 thing each evening only one.if your calendar comes in handy now is the time for it. Monday laundry Tuesday kitchen Wed living room Thurs you’re bedroom Fri kids room . Don’t forget to teach your children along the way take them with you they can help find dirty laundry they can help fold they can help unload dishwasher and wash and dry and put away them they can learn to clean a sink while you do the tub they can sweep vacuum and pickup . don’t forget the man of the house can help by picking up behind himself. Kids will never learn as long as they are in front of a tv or computer device.shaking rugs , wiping off the table all the little things help. When you go to the store and they are along you need to reward them with little things not expensive things I said little things like since you helped dry the dishes maybe you would like to pick out your favorite chips or you can choose what you like for Sunday dinner… Don’t reward with big thing s . I said little even if they just pick out their favorite dessert. When we raised kids we used colored popsicle sticks I wrote chores on them from school homework first then 2 chores then free time. Ps I raised 28 Foster kids and 3 of my own
You are doing nothing wrong, it takes a village. Everybody should be helping, but don’t worry that your house isn’t perfect, it’s really hard.
what is wrong with the kids learning to do chores, i’m sure she3 can learn to do dishes, he could pick up his toys too
Make a cleaning chart and split the work evenly.
1 Like
10mins each before bed, set a timer and just put as much stuff away as possible. Teach your kids to do the same.
You all decide which is a better option for your family. Share the chores or hire someone to help. Enjoy your family. Your children will grow up to fast. Wishing you all the best.
Don’t worry, enjoy what you have. One day, it will all go away. I’d rather have family in a well lived in house, than be all alone in a clean house.
Definitely hire a cleaning lady. That will take most of the stress away. Than u can relax more and spend more time with your family.
Happy kids. Most important thing. As a mum of 3 boys, now all adults, it gets heaps easier…hang in there…
I work full time, and my husband works as well. We also have 2 children around the same age as yours. And our weekends are similar: family gatherings, getaways, birthday parties, etc. During the week when I get home the first I do after getting the kids settled is clean up the mini hurricane of a mess that occured that morning while we were getting ready. Then I do the dishes. After I relax a bit to give myself a break and then time to cook dinner (keep dinners simple, and do a take out night once a week like Thursday or Friday to give yourself a break). My husband cleans up dinner for me most times. While dinner is cooking its bath time for the kids. While my husband is cleaning up dinner thats my time to do 1 chore around the house like sweep and mop (I use a swiffer to keep it simple) or wipe things down. Try not to hold onto a lot of unnecessary things as they create clutter. We wash our clothes during the week 1 load or 2 a night. The only thing I haven’t gotten figured out yet is folding the laundry… But sometimes when my job has slow weeks and all my work is caught up I’ll take a day off while they kids and hubby aren’t home and I’ll have a laundry day to get it all done.
1 Like
Do washing at night , wash up dishes as your cooking - put dishes away in the morning . While you’re cleaning up dishes get hubby to do a quick sweep of the floor or bath the kids for you while you sweep . Slow cooker meals are the best - that way most of your meal is cooked so you don’t have much more to cook . That leaves extra time for other things . Another good thing to do with the washing is to use a clothes airer that way you can take the clothes back off the next night without worrying about the weather or them becoming damp on the line .
Bathroom cleaning - spray the bathroom before you go for a shower then give it a quick wipe over when you get out .
Toilet cleaning - in the morning before you leave the house . Put a bit of bleach in the flush .
Only so many hours in the day. Time with your children is way more important than a tidy house
I designate one day a week to fully clean and get the house together… then just maintain the clean during the week…
I use to get up early do a chore then do a couple at night
Why are you doing all the chores? He should be working on it too
1 Like
You both equally work so your husband needs to take on half the household work too. If he doesn’t want to he can work more hours so you can work less hours outside of the home and use those to catch up.
I cant keep on top of the house work and I’m a stay at home mum 
I felt that way as a Stay At Home Mom. You need to acknowledge that there are limits to time. You can’t do it all, and enjoy these very precious moments with your children and husband. But, reprioritizing would help. Set up 5 minute chores. Things you can do quickly. Fold a load of clothes, clear a table, freezer meals, when you cook dinner make 2-3 of each kind, then same work equals 3 dinners. Get up earlier, spread the chores out. Teamwork makes the dream work. I went back full time, we have had a division of labor discussion many times. You need to remember, no one is happy they were always cleaning, but you will be happy playing with your children. Make it a game to play while doing chores.
When we both were working fulltime i had someone come in once per fortnight to do basic housework
I think you have way to much on your hands. If your working and still doing everything at home most of the time you should should do a part time job.
Why does your husband not help you , it’s his house too and his kids too ,he needs to do half the work .
Absolutely not. This will never be 50/50 and don’t let anyone convince you of otherwise
Start a load of laundry when u get home then while cooking can put in dryer. Then after dinner who isn’t clean kitchen start folding then start another
Your kids will not remember how clean the house is.They will remember how happy you were and the times spent with you.
You just have to force yourself to get organised. Or get a cleaner once a week.
Get a maid… load the dishwasher and run it at night. Put dirty clothes in a hamper and get the maid to wash, dry and fold.
Get a housekeeper that cleans and does laundry. Both of you contribute to it and get rid of some Huynh else’s you spend money on to offset zit.!
Ummmm it starts early, gotta teach them to pick up after themselves early on…
Maybe it’s time for a housekeeper? Like once a week if it’s too much to do yourself
Husband should help. His house also.
You’re not alone. Is your husband doing anything to help??? You don’t mention it. You both have full time jobs. He needs to be helping. Marriage is a partnership. But even if he does help, mine helps a lot and it’s still hard to keep up. That’s just life tbh.
Trying to have a perfect house is one of my deepest regrets. It never happened & I occasionally made myself crazy, trying. Your kids won’t remember a perfect house. They’ll remember the time you spent with them. I have 2 grown sons.
It’s almost impossible to do it all! I am right there with you!
It’s a home. To be lived in. U have children. It will never be pristine.
It sounds like you have your priorites right. Clean bathroom and rinse the dishes and what’s the problem. The kids will grow and be gone then is the time to enjoy housework.
You have small children. Let go, and enjoy them. There will be time for picking up everything later.
No you are not alone! JUST OVERWORKED!
Most of us have been frustrated by this shortage of time and rest!
Hire a maid…send the bill to your husband!!
4 Likes
Hire a nanny that does housekeeping and pay her well?
1 Like
Why not try a housekeeping service? It would lighten the load
Hire a housekeeper. It’s worth it to keep peace.
Hire a cleaner. $25-30 an hour.
Get them to clean and put a few loads of washing as well.
Girl get yourself a house cleaner if you can!! Will change your life x
Messy kids turn into messy adults. Teach them early to start picking up after themselves.
Don’t worry about it! If you’re house is clean, your family is happy and cared for… do whatever housework you can between you- who it running yourself ragged… and enjoy watching your daughter play with her toys 
life’s to short and these moments are so precious to miss because you trying to keep up with an impossible standard. (I’ll tell you a secret… nobody’s house is perfect all of the time! Everyone’s kids make mess, and everyone sometimes leaves the dishes till later or in the morning and has a cup of tea!! You’re no different to the rest of us. Don’t worry about it)
If you are working 100 hours a week between you, I am sure you can afford a cleaner for a couple of hours a week.
It’s also, adulting,husband,dad. Maybe that’s the problem, you think it’s your job, not his too! 
Get a housekeeper if you can afford it…
Why dont you get a cleaner in best I think.
I would hire a cleaner
1 Like
Pay for a housekeeper once a week! It’s worth it . You both work! It will save your marriage. Then you can spend some romantic time with hubby and feel better…
This is just life with a family, especially littles! It’ll get better with time,
If he won’t do an equal share then get a housekeeper.
2 Likes
He can help. His hands and feet arent broke. Yeesh.
Hiring a house cleaner seems like a win win.
1 Like
My mom used to tell me a messy house is a happy life😉
Make him do every other weekends you go out leave him home, fair is fair
You are good parents, you put what is important first!
I think you’re being too hard on yourself. Plain and simple.
NUMBER 1 HUBBY should help.
NUMBER 2 KIDS should pick up after themselves.