He’s probably tired 
, mentally drained, on little sleep… etc etc but also it’s life changing and he probably hasn’t gotten use to it all. Wait until little one is at least crawling… maybe start by having a conversation about at least waiting a year before seriously considering a vasectomy.
9 Likes
We just had a baby August 5th. I always wanted 4. Now I’m like no more. I may change my mind when he’s a little older. My husband is holding off a little before getting snipped. I think around one year is best to have that conversation.
5 Likes
All these folks that are saying that you should respect his wishes and not have more children are wrong. What about your wishes and your dreams? Should your wants be pushed to the side because of his? I woukd not want to have a baby with someone who does not want one either but also if you are sure that 2 kids are what you want then that needs to be taken into consideration as well. A great conversation is the key but also if neither one of you are really wanting to compromise and one of you just gives in then you will grow to resent the other person because their wants and needs trumped all of yours and that is not good for any relationship.
1 Like
I am not having a child with someone who does not want to just because i want one. I am not saying give in but you all just literally had a baby. Give him some time. Maybe in a year or two revisit the discussion. He could be overwhelmed since the baby is still new
7 Likes
So before my husband and I had our daughter, we planned on 3 kids. After having my daughter, I’ve realized that I’m not capable of taking care of more kids. I know my limit and I would have a mental breakdown if I had to do all of this all over again 2 more times. Maybe your boyfriend is experiencing the same?
3 Likes
My husband was the same way. We agreed to a certain period of time to wait and be sure we were done. For us it was 4 years. If he still didn’t want more then I wouldn’t argue with him about getting fixed. It’s been 3 years and I am currently pregnant with our last and he is getting fixed as long as nothing goes wrong this time.
2 Likes
Definitely wait! You have a brand new baby it’s such a huge adjustment! He will probably be open to the idea again once he’s gotten the hang of being daddy to that kiddo❤️
And know your time frame of when you want to have a second child. Talk to your bf about it and make sure you guys are on the same page you don’t want to make him feel trapped with a kid he didn’t want/wasn’t ready for:pray:t3:
1 Like
I have 3 bio - 16, 14 and 3. I said I was DONE after the first two, and was very upset about the third.
After he was born, I wanted another one SOOOO BADLY for about the first year. After that, I realized I’m kinda old and I don’t really, really want another one - I was just really having a hard time with never getting another first laugh, first step, first mamma, first solid food.
I cherish all of my children, but I am really enjoying the opportunity to be able to focus on one little one instead of running around like a lost duck the way I did with two small ones at once.
Maybe you should talk to him about why he changed his mind? Your baby was just born. Your boyfriend is probably realizing how hard it really is being a parent and partner. Babies challenge not only you but your relationship as well. Talk to him about it.
1 Like
I put my husband in charge of our birth control. I told him I wasn’t going to take the pill anymore but was warning him beforehand. Therefore he would be in charge of buying condoms making sure they were in stock and using them. My little girl was born a year later
4 Likes
For us it was the opposite. We had decided no more a long time ago and I had an IUD and ended up getting pregnant. Our youngest was 10 at the time. My husband love love loves kids and me probably not as much. He was elated and I was devastated. Before we could even discuss it he put it on Facebook, I had a very emotional pregnancy and 4 very hard months of post partum depression afterwards. I almost didn’t make it out of this pregnancy alive my mental state had gotten so bad. It took me probably a solid year of therapy to finally be able to tell myself it was ok for me not to want my life to go in this direction. My son was born July 2, 2017 and I love him to death but for a long time I told myself that if I where the dad in the situation I wouldn’t have stuck around. With that said, if he doesn’t want another child and he sticks to his guns on it it is probably best to let that one be.
1 Like
He might not be ready for another just yet.
I’m going on a third so I know exactly how you feel. After having your first, realizing how precious the life you made is. But also it’s early, get to know your lo and maybe soon he’ll want another as well. It could just be a lot for him right now
2 Likes
My husband said the same thing… and now two years later I’m 4 months pregnant with our second child. Give him and yourself some time to get a handle on your newborn first lol. I’d bring it up in a year or so when your little starts screaming “daddy” all the time sending you love and positivity
2 Likes
My husband and I said we wanted two kids in the beginning, but then once I had our first it was super tough for both of us. And I didn’t want anymore and he agreed. He talked about getting fixed possibly but then shot it down because he said “in case something tragic happens, I wanna be able to at least have another kid” so he didn’t. But then I became pregnant again 8 months after giving birth. I was scared and my husband was as well. But then he changed his mindset because we both didn’t want to terminate. I didn’t have the heart too. And he said “now he’ll have a best friend”. The more into my pregnancy, I loved it more and more. And now we have two little dudes we can’t imagine life without. I think it’s possibly the fact that he didn’t know how hard having the first kid was going to be (that’s how we were). And having a second one just seemed more challenging. It’s definitely a lot of adjustment, but give it some time. Don’t force him into making a decision he doesn’t want, but give it time to see where life takes ya. Maybe once your little one is older, he’ll be like “ok I guess another wouldn’t hurt”.
If not, then you guys are just gonna have to communicate and see where things go.
5 Likes
If he was your husband verses your boyfriend you would have a little more say in the situation, but how you are you should respect his wishes not to have more children. Perhaps you two may decide in the future to have another but you shouldn’t force or really bring it up right now.
1 Like
You just had a baby and it is a lot of work. Everyone’s life changes and I’m sure he’s feeling that a lot right now. Especially this being your first baby he needs time to acclimate. Let him know that you do want more kids in the future, and then wait a year or two and have a discussion about having another child. If he doesn’t want to go through the baby phase again maybe you could adopt an older child…compromise. Alot of men have a hard time after their first baby. Not only does their world revolve around a tiny human, but so does their spouse’s world, which means less attention for them and that can feel lonely. Just give it time. Good luck.
1 Like
Maybe in time after y’all’s baby is a little.older y’all can talk about it again on maybe having another baby. I told my boyfriend I don’t want no more kids. With have 3 we both have son’s an then we got together an had a little girl. I think 3 was enough for me to handle. But he didnt say if he want more kids. But until our daughter is off pampers we’ll talk about it again to see if we want more kids. But the older u get the hard it for u to have one. That’s what I heard
3 Likes
After I had my daughter, I decided that I don’t want any more children. I previously wanted three. People change and what you thought you wanted isn’t what you thought. Respect his wishes, just like you’d expect him to respect yours.
1 Like
Once the pure exhaustion wears off he may change his mind, but until then I would respect his wishes. Try not to go behind his back and make attempts without his knowledge of the situation. I would just enjoy the newest addition and if it gets brought up again in a few years time awesome, if not maybe one baby is all you need.
2 Likes
I think you are pushing it. You knew he didn’t want kids. Yet you have one. If you keep pushing the issue you will end up with out him. You are being unfair to him. Be thankful for the child you have. And if you truly love this man drop the subject.
5 Likes
Just had our second son January 23, 2020. My husband and I agreed no more for atleast a couple years. Here we are 16 weeks pregnant with another baby boy due February 23 
don’t pressure him. Life happens unexpectedly. Adjusting to being a new mom and new dad can be hard for some people give it some time.
5 Likes
Give it time. My husband and I both said no more after our son (he is our only) because he is just flat out crazy 
lol and we changed our minds like a year or two later. We were supposed to welcome his sibling in January but sadly we lost that baby. In time he might change his mind but if not I wouldn’t push it. It could cause resentment…
3 Likes
Honestly just give him time… y’all have a new baby and ur body needs to heal atleast a yr if possible (recommend by doctors) lots of people talk about getting fixed and never do… just revisit the topic in a yr or so…
3 Likes
for me and my husband we choose 2 for a boy and a girl well we have both. their excatly 3 yrs apart to the day. wheb our son was born we both talked about him getting fix and not having any more but he never went get it done and every now and again ill brong up i would enjoy another one but he says no and he not getting fixed unless he wants another one before i turn 30. im guessing its just the mindset and how he feels about it. just give him time and space. also you still a new mommy enjoy your baby because they do not stay small forever. you got the mama and relax dont rush
If he doesn’t want more kids respect his wishes don’t force him or else he’s going to be upset. Having kids are alot to take care of. One is just enough for him. You need to decide if ur going to want more kids or just stick with the one. If you want more then sorry to say but find another guy who wants more or who has one already.
2 Likes
Still all new for him he is probably
Taking the time to enjoy your new baby. When baby is older I’m sure the conversation will be okay to have and you might be able to discuss your feelings and assert yourself better. But he is probably
Feeling off guard with you asking as you’re still enjoying your new baby.
1 Like
If he says he does not want more kids, I definitely would not push it. You don’t wanna have additional kids with someone who doesn’t want them.
1 Like
Worry about it later everytime we have one my hubby says he’s done and here were are 40 years old with a one year old our oldest is 20
2 Likes
Theres not enough info to really give advice, but this is what was said when me and my husband had this talk. Our son is 5, so it has been a while since having him. My husband mentioned that he doesnt want another baby because of the fact daycare is expensive. And I dont want to wait until I’m in my mid 30s to be financially stable enough to have a baby because your health risks only increase the older you are. So I told him it is either now or never. He said never, so I told him to get snipped when he gets back from working out of province because I dont want to have to get an abortion if I end up pregnant. But that’s what I did in a similar situation.
1 Like
I’d give it time and see if in a year he feels differently - not like pressure and bug him for a year, but don’t make a permanent decision yet like getting snipped, and revisit the conversation in a year. After our first we weren’t sure that we wanted any more and around 6-12 months we “for sure were done”, but then when he was 2 we decided we did want more so had another and when she was 8 months old got pregnant with our third (due next month) lol. Even though women go through labor and childbirth, men still often have big emotions and feel an overwhelming responsibility etc once baby is born and so he may just not be ready. If you revisit it in a year and he still doesn’t want more then y’all will need to have more conversations and come up with what works for your family in agreement, but for now just take a breath and let it be.
1 Like
If he doesn’t want more. Do not pressure him. Imagine how you would feel, if he was pressuring you.
3 Likes
That baby is still new, hes probably exhausted and stressed and that’s probably just how he feels right now. Give him some time.
1 Like
Give him time. He’s probably exhausted since yall have a newborn. I personally wouldn’t be able to handle having kids back to back. Wait until the baby is a toddler then try again.
1 Like
Just bring it up. No one s going to have a special way to convince him and you shouldn’t persuade him. Say how you feel once and don’t pressure him. You have to accept and respect his wishes too and if your want for more kids is more important than the relationship leave him.
1 Like
If he mentions getting fixed again that’s when I’d bring up the want for - 1 more baby- and have an open discussion about it- if neither one of you can come to agreements then ask him to at least wait a year so you can revisit the topic once your baby is older- and your both more ready to have another one…
but for now love this one like it’s your last- and enjoy it!!
They truly grow so fast! 
1 Like
You need to wait St least another year before trying to get pregnant then you can have the conversation! He may be overwhelmed!;
1 Like
…Maybe start with the ‘baby’ step of…just asking him to not do any permanent decision yet like getting fixed. And then hopefully, with a little time, and after you survive the baby stage (which for some does feel overwhelming and a lot to adjust to)…then maybe he will get back on board with one more.
1 Like
I would give him some time. I didn’t want anymore children for a couple years after I had my daughter. It was very stressful. Maybe once things settle down and become easier he will change his mind.
My son got fixed now his wife to be wants another baby .But he is fixed .his x wife made him do it .once you get fixed you are fixed .It is forever if he and you don’t work out .he not going to have other kids .let your body heal then talk about another baby they always need a brother or sister you play with.
I have the same issue with my husband. Our youngest was born march 19tb 2020. We do have two girls under the age of 2, a 6 yr old girl and a 10 yr old son. I also have an 11 yr old son who lives with his father. He wants a vasectomy and im jut not ready to close the window on one more baby. He is and there is no negotiating. I refuse to try to get pregnant during a pandemic. So he has that going for him. Im not saying i am for sure set on one more but lets not rule it out forever 
Just give him time. My husband and i had two but lost our youngest recently. Since that happened ive been wanting another but holding off until our oldest is three or four and making sure we can avoid a genetic issue from happening again that took the life of our little one
I’d table the issue for now. Newborns are rough. He could just be stressed from the lifestyle change. Don’t do anything until the baby is at least a year old and you can get enough sleep to think straight.
It’s called no lolololstop forcing a man to have more babies with you when he dont want to maybe saving you in the long run sorry… I dont want kids my bf does … no means no works both ways… if hes saying no respect it n stop pushing the issue bc you want fulfillment
Give him time to adjust to being a dad. He may change his mind and vasectomy is reversible. Until then, enjoy your new baby 
Good luck!! If you want a 2nd, and he doesn’t you’ll just have to decide which is more important to you. Your relationship with HIM + just 1 kid, or 2 kids with different fathers…
You can’t pressure him into having another child is he changed his mind. It’ll just end badly. My husband and I both said we wanted 4, we just had our 3rd almost 4 months and changed our minds and decided we’ll discuss it again when our youngest is olde5
Give it some time. It took me a while to come around. You’ve had the chance to understand reality carrying your Son. Dad’s reality came when his Son was born. Hope that makes sense
Mine was the opposite. Only wanted one and now that we have one wants 2 more 
I wouldn’t pressure him. Some men come around once the babies get older. The first few months were traumatic and the toughest in the world for me and made me not want any more
1 Like
Give it time. Is three months after a new baby and getting adjusted the time to bring it up?
Allow the bond
The reward
Make sure YOU want another
With HIM
Plus if I may…
You said boyfriend
Marriage gives you and the children security.
Speaking from experience not judgement.
Different world
Yes I would say let’s wait before any decisions are made for atleast 4 years. 2 years isn’t long enough. The first year by itself can be very traumatizing
Because its been a tough year! Just ask him to at least wait, it’s way too soon Into a new baby to decide about having another one!
Just give him time to adjust, and give yourself time to adjust also. If this is your first baby, wait until they run and scream and cause havoc. If you’re happy with that, then bring up the topic later.
You may think it’s all fun and games when all they do is eat and sleep.
1 Like
Babies are hard. Well, they can be. Give him a while, I wouldn’t make any rash decisions for 2 years
Well it’s really too soon. He may be having a hard time adjusting to the baby and the changes that brings. Give him a little time.
Just wait until your little is like 3 or 4, life is so awesome and getting to see him grow will probably make him want another.
Find another man and have more children with him
8 Likes
I’d let it go. My ex told me the same thing I was hurt at first but I had my kids just not from him. He regretted what he said. I’m happy it turned out the way it did. My last is from him tho.
First off…Boyfriend. You might want to pray he stays around till this baby is 1 year old, before you start another. You both need to make a …legal… binding marriage commitment to each other. Or You could windup as a struggling single Mon with baby(s) and no financial support. (Yes in todays world…legal = mairage = support = $$$$.)
Just jump on top and just as he’s about to nut grab him by the throat and say if you want to breath nut in me
1 Like
Respect his answer. July 2020 is fairly recent. Id hold off for about a yr or more before asking for another. However its your guys relationship. However talk. Communication is key for everything.
You unfortunately cannot change someone’s mind, I would talk it through and let him know how much it means to you to have 2 children. If his mind is made up then pressuring won’t do any good.
You are still a new mom, I didn’t want anymore kids when I had my son and now he’s two and I’m thinking I might want one more. Just enjoy the time now and maybe if he’s like me he might want another later, but don’t force it.
If he truly doesn’t want another and you push it, then he could resent you for it and leave. If he is speaking of getting a vasectomy then he is probably set in his decision.
Let it go if he dont want kids then dont try to talk him into it or force the issue if you did not want kids would you want to be hassled about it be thankful for the one you have and unless you find a new guy forget about more kids
My husband said that too in the newborn stage. Address it when your baby is 18months. Just tell him not to do anything drastic until then!
Maybe he doesn’t want to stress about affording two kids. Maybe he wants to live comfortably and be able to bring the one on vacations and all the extras. 2 kids are way more expensive than 1
Been under 3 months since yr little one arrived!!! No time to make these life changes !!! Give it time- u both have yr hands full right now——full of a baby and full of life.
I think that’s common, Since your newborn is only two months old maybe its just the excitement and stress of a newborn that is making him feel like your family is complete. I think it’s like the 10 month mark when we started thinking about having another. Or even 1 year.
Difficult situation 
I understand and respect both sides. Communication is key though luv. Talk to him. Not to pressure him but just to chat and converse about it.
I’m sure if he does get 'fixed ’ it’s reversable. It is way too soon to talk about more, give it time x
You can’t force someone to want to have kids just because you want to. You have to respect your SOs wants and wishes
It might be that he is worried that with this shit going on that he might not be able to support more people in household. And I believe if it is meant to be that you guys have more kids it will happen.
It’s too soon. Enjoy your baby. We waited 6 years for our second. Best choice ever 
I have this issue, except. My boyfriend is fixed. I have 1 child he has 3 but I want another and since He’s Fixed I said we can do IVF. He wants to marry and I want another child…periodt
Give him time. Sit down and discuss why he feels the way he does and set a time limit. Like say if in the next 2-3 years he’s still not interested then you understand and yall would have to figure out what to do from there.
You just had a baby really recently and that can turn anyone away from wanting to have more kids. We also live in a scary time. Just have an open discussion without judgment and make a decision together. Nothing rash and nothing this minute just future ideas and understanding.
I’m so tired of us woman having to just comply. And the comments “ you had one be greatful” “ you need to respect his wishes” what about HERSSS she stated they agreed on two well he dosent just get to say that then retract it. I have no advice as to how to sway his decision back to what it was but keep trying. Don’t just comply because it’s what “he “ wants. Your in it too.
Maybe instead of trying to talk him into another one just agree to postpone any discussion of future children for 2 years. That will give you both time to think about it without pressuring eachother.
You have to be on the same page. If he doesn’t want more I wouldn’t push it. Maybe see if he is willing to delay the procedure and revisit this in a few years
It’s been 2 months give it time lol we both said the same after the first was born more of a stress thing and adjustment
You can bring it up but you can’t force someone to have a child just because you do.
Bit early. Wait a while and talk again. Newborns are so hard. Can’t blame him rn lol.
Your still classified as a new mom. Don’t rush.
1 Like
Give it some years haha he may probably change his mind. Taking care of infant then toddler is so darn exhausting
Maybe you should concentrate on getting married before you have more children.
1 Like
Hes tired still a newborn. Give it time. Dont let him make that life changing decision untill its definite
Have you asked him why he changed his mind? That would be the place to start in my opinion. See what he’s thinking.
Your son is only weeks old…enjoy him whilst he’s a baby
My husband would have more but I said no, we have 2, anymore would tip me over the edge. Plus there’s no way I’m giving birth again, screw that!
Your baby is two months old and you already want to have another one. Just enjoy this baby you have and he might change his mind
Just do it! my husband was “done” after we had 2 but he’s always horny so I gave him 2 more! Taadaaaaa
Yikes July? It’s only September I would give him some time. At least another year then readdress the situation.
I wouldn’t bring it up. It’s been two months since the first was born, give him some time to wrap his head around it lol why the rush?
Try being a single self sufficient parent first!!! Can You pay rent, buy groceries & Work?? Who will keep child while you work??? GROW UP & Try to be an Adult Parent first!! Children do NOT Need a child for a parent!!
It’s not been too kong since you had him, I’m sure hel feel different in a year or two.
Dawww keep trying but give him time. New kids are hard to get used to… everything changes. Ps my daughter turned 10 on July 2nd so I’m bias haha
Ask for him to wait on the vasectomy, and bring it up when it feels right
Don’t say anything… Check ur ovulation, have sex and get pregnant, he can deal with it afterwards… Lol
1 Like
I’ve got 3 and another on the way, you can borrow 1 if you like see how you get on sure the missus wouldn’t mind
Yo! I’m ovulating it’s time for that second one we planned no back outs.
Maybe you can ask him to hold off on doing that and reconsider his decision. Or ask if you could try, and if after a few months nothing happened then say no o?