Sadly the village is gone. I have 13 grandchildren and have watched them all, they range in age from 28 to 2. Maybe it’s just me but I feel like it has been a privilege to care for them.
Is there anyway he could switch to day shift?, solo parent here, there’s no way I could work nights, for a start there’s no way my mum would have the kids multiple times a week let alone pay for their stuff, an with what I get a week after paying bills etc there’s no way I could afford overnight childcare.
I guess just sit down to talk with him and let him know you are no longer able to help him out.
Although, it would be kind of you to give him a few weeks or month notice to try to find someone else to watch his children that he trusts and knows they are safe with.
The best thing is to be honest with your son
2-3 nights a week is not a long time, you have plenty other time in the week to do things for yourself. If it’s too much, maybe say I can 1-2 nights. You really should talk to him and compromise, because he shouldn’t have you pay for everything either. I also think you need to not think of it has babysitting, and just enjoy the time with your grandkids, there only young for a short time and kids need that special time with there grandparents.
Tell him you need a break and have to stop babysitting. Give him time to make other arrangements, but not too long.
I’m a single mom of 3 I wahm my mom isn’t working but has health problems I never ask her to watch my kids it’s not her responsibility just have a heart to heart talk with him maybe you could do once a week and the other grandma can do more I wish I had more help though I’m always lonely and just work and am just with my kids doing kid related stuff only so it is important to be there for them too but burn out is real I feel for you
Get a doctor’s note & give it to him. Make photocopies of the note for you to keep.?
Tell him he needs to start giving you some money or you can’t do it anymore.
I feel he could at least provide some funds. I know day cares are not open those hours but he could provide the food, the clothing and the needs instead of leaving you to pay for it. When my mother watched my kids, I paid her every week plus provided the food. Its just the right thing to do
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Be honest and give him fair notice
Maybe sit down with him an talk about it all an make a plan with him to take some of the burden off your shoulders an help him in making it happen finding a sitter that you both meet an interview so that you both feel like your not just jumping ship if that makes sense
Just gotta tell him… you love them, but you also need your own life. I told my daughter I’ll help till she gets daycare setup. I’d even help pay it if I have to… but I definitely need to relax and have time to myself. I raised my kids … this is her time. Gotta do what ya gotta do. We ain’t getting any younger … and I’m about to turn 45.
edit I don’t mind taking them for date nights and taking them a day here or there to spend with me but I work 5-6 days a week long hours running my own pet grooming business, I’m literally exhausted by time I’m done. I’ll help when I can… but not doing it all the time.
I have no help whatever so ever. My parents are both dead now. My grandparents live far away or are ill and unable to help me.
My grandparents practically raised me. My (single) dad never had to worry about who would watch me. I always knew I had a warm, safe, place to lay my head at night.
My kids do not have what I had as a kid and it breaks my heart. I just filled out my kids school forms and I had to ask a distant cousin by marriage who is also a near by neighbor if I could add them as my kids emergency contact. The other emergency contact is my oldest daughter who is 16. My last emergency contact is a friend of mine, I’m hers, she has no one either. She and I are always talking about how our kids don’t have grandparents like we had (her grandma raised her too).
I dunno if our grandparents were just built different. If our parents had kids later in life. I dunno what the deal is, but grandparents are not grandparents like they used to be.
I don’t remember my dad ever helping financially when my grandma’s watched me, but he also had a drug and alcohol problem and I was neglected by him. Every situation is different I guess.
Maybe tell your son you need some help with money, not necessarily being paid to baby sit, but just to provide for them. Maybe tell him you can’t watch them 2-3 days a week, maybe just one day a week? I dunno. The decision is yours of course, but you should tell him how you feel. I PROMISE YOU the kids know. You can feel it when you’re not wanted somewhere.
I would never ask my mom to babysit for free and would never expect her to just watch my kids because I had them, it’s not her fault., and never expect her to pay for their food/clothing costs… I understand helping out occasionally…but you have your own job and life to take care of, and he needs to figure out how to manage like many other single parents do. I am a single parent myself. There are subsidies that can help, coop chilcare and rotations between friends and others that also have children and can work. He needs to apply for government assistance to get food stamps/childcare/government assistance on what he can. Theres many funds available for kids clothing and school supplies too. If the mother isnt in the picture, then child support needs to be filed for. I see alot of single parents expecting their parents to care for their kids and pay their way while they go out and have fun after work/weekends or blow their money on other things…Its not ok. I would either A) tell him you need a certain amount a week like $100 to cover food and other things AND he needs to apply for whatever assistance he can or B) ask him if he can find other care or if the other grandparent can help out more…why is it your responsibility to be financially paying for these children and the parents or other grandparent isnt? I hope he sees this thread.
It’s a temporary season, though. It will soon be gone.
Tell him you were given strict doctors orders to take it easy on your off time. Tell him as much as you love the kiddos, you can’t do it all of the time.
Hurt him s feelings. Tell him y need $ for taking care of kids
Some of the people on here are spoiled and entitled and it shows. NO ONES OBLIGATED TO DO ANYTHING FOR YOUR CUMM PETS OR ANYTHING ABOUT THEM. They are YOUR responsibility. Idc about the parents situation. If one person is struggling because of your kids help out or be considerate. Gross as hell expecting others to take care of your failed pull out attempts.
I 1000% disagree with those saying you need to compromise with him & basically disregard your feelings, wants, needs & mental health because they are your grandchildren. If you no longer want to baby sit them, you just need to tell him, hey, I really do not want to do this any more on top of my full time job- please find another sitter in my place on the days they are normally with me.
I can’t believe people are saying you are SUPPOSED to watch them because you are their grandmother. Absolutely not.
There are other resources & in home sitters he could find if he actually looked around for them but I would work with him because it probably won’t be easy to find someone to do over nights. Worth a shot though.
2-3 times a week?.. and that’s disrupting your life. What about the children? Children are very perceptive, don’t you realize they know you feel like they’re a burden? How horribly sad. For some reason they already don’t have a Mother there. This is so sad and disturbing. Children don’t ask to be brought into the world. For God’s sake, think of the children. And be proud your Son has taken on the responsibility of raising g them. Sounds like they need to be put up for adoption if they are a burden to you.
I’d never not want go watch my 3 grandbabies but i would ask for financial help while i have them
He needs to provide meals for the children and you need to establish a strict bedtime routine so that you can rest. 2 to 3 times a week is not that bad and it’s overnight.  If it is that you usually go out in the evenings then may be arrange to go out the nights that they are not with you. I think you guys can make this work. He just needs to step up and do more
jus say up front you cant do it any more to take them to other grandma or find a sitter that its making you have Anxiety wheres the mom?
Whereby I get what your saying & definitely an honest conversation needs to take place around finances etc I also think this is bigger than just you. It’s only 2-3 nights a week. Your grandchildren would need this & thrive on this more than you realise. They won’t be young or needing let alone wanting to see or hang with you for long so I’d (as a grandparent) be relishing in every moment you get with them. What your doing is amazing and in the bigger scheme; needed!
Yes you did it on your own etc but aren’t we meant to give our next generations what we didn’t have?!
Stopping what your doing would hurt the kids most definitely!
I don’t know what to think.
My husband & I are grandparents of 6. We love our grands, as we love our kids. We do whatever we can to help all of them … because we love them, and because we have always felt that family is the most important thing in life. Yes, there are times when we feel overwhelmed, but our family means everything to us. I think the difference is that our kids feel the same way about us … they have always been there for us, just as we have always been there for them. I don’t view my grands as someone else’s responsibility … they are my babies! Yes, their parents are responsible for them, but the bottom line is making sure they are healthy, happy, and safe … and loved.
When I see in the news how kids are abused, neglected, abducted, abandoned, or tragically inflicted with fatal injuries or terminal illnesses … I feel fortunate that I get to love my grands & have them in my life. There is no dinner date or outing or party or any other activity that is more important to me, or to my husband, than our kids and grandkids.
But that’s us.
Maybe other people don’t have the same family dynamics in place.
People who have overnight jobs are in a particularly difficult situation when it comes to daycare. I don’t envy them. It’s extremely difficult to find someone trustworthy enough to care for small children, even during the day, much less over night.
I can’t advise you. I’m biased. I wouldn’t trust anyone in the world, other than family (and those friends I consider close enough to be family), to care for my grandkids.
The best I can say is that if the money issue is a problem, talk with your son about providing food & clothing & necessities for the kids while they are staying with you. It couldn’t hurt if he paid you a little extra for your time. 2-3 nights a week shouldn’t impair your social life.
We’ve been married over 36 years, so I’m not up to date on the single’s social scene, but I’d be willing to bet that any person unwilling to be flexible with your schedule due to your functions as a grandparent, is not worthy of your time.
Good luck, my friend. I hope you are able to resolve your situation.
It’s too much! That’s all. I have had to learn this myself. Simply said I raised you, now raise yours. There is nothing wrong with that.
Shame on half of these comments!!!
Especially the grandmothers! You should be the most empathetic with this woman.
To the woman who posted: you absolutely need to talk with your son and give him a window of time before you can’t keep them on a daily basis anymore. This is for him to figure out what to do with them in the meantime. He is a father and will get it one day, how to balance everything. It is NOT your responsibility to babysit (and that IS what this is, since it’s several nights a week, every week!) Yes, time with your grandchildren is very important but not on these terms! Every once in a blue moon, he can depend on mom to give a helping hand but essentially this is for him to worry about! Enjoy your time, and again, don’t feel bad about it. It does not make you love them any less
your at an age now where you just wanna do you especially when your already been there done that, you wanna be-able to have your grandchildren and enjoy them when you want them, you don’t owe your son anything hes a grown arse man tell him to work something else out only reason he’s dumping them off to you is because he can Why? cos your allowing it
File for a sick leave. kidding aside, if you feel it’s too much, it probably is. Maybe try and negotiate to reduce the number of nights you babysit your grandchildren… from 3-2 nights until everyone feels a regular babysitter is needed. Look after yourself first. If you get sick, I doubt your son can look after you with his current situation. As they say, tough love.
You need to rip the Band-Aid off. He needs to find a job with suitable hours that work around his children. You need to stop helping him with everything & let that responsibility fall onto him. I’m sure he’ll get really upset with you because nobody likes their privileges being taken away, but he is taking an advantage of you.
Maybe he’s having a hard time finding other sitters. Just because that was your situation, doesn’t mean it’s his. My mom and dads parents babysit us for free and never had issues with sitters. I can’t even work because I have 2 special needs kids and nobody wants to care for them 8 hours a day, which I get but it’s so frustrating and depressing. So is this about you feeling smothered? Or is it because you’re having to buy things for the kids? Because those are totally different from each other.
Wow people really think its a grandparents place to baby sit ect…
Sorry but if you have kids they are your resonsibility… not the grandparents, they’ve raised there kids!!!
Grandparents are babysitters nor do they have any responsibility to eatch there grandchildren…
Just tell him that you need a week or two off, and he will have to find someone else. always a friend in another town to visit.
Just remember their are grandparents out here raising their grandchildren full time with zero support from their parents. He should definitely pitch in with their food or give you some extra money. However you should feel fortunate your not raising them full time and your son is man enough to be a single dad and raise those babies
I am not able to see my grandchildren and I would give anything to be able to spend time with them… instead of looking at the negative of this, what a blessing, and they grow up so fast, this too shall pass… harder of course when they are little, but the memories you are creating are the best… to each his own, but consider if you were not able to see the kids at all? just a thought… your son might also not be the type to pick up hints, sit down and have an actual talk , what is really bothering you, the cost or the time involved? go from there
It doesn’t sound like he’s taking advantage. Not all but some men specially younger aren’t as mentally aware of parent hood like moms are. But he is working & 2-3 days shouldn’t seem like a lot to ask. With you being a single parent also must remember how it wasn’t easy. He could be figuring out & struggling as well. Talk to him about bringing groceries or some cash If not food already packed. Specially these days everything is high. I am a single parent also & have a grandbaby who I have everyday. But my mom & grandma always helped me specially when it came to work. It does take a village & he might be more appreciative than you know! But definitely open up communication & let him know what you need & check in with each other! If he is struggling with money & if he has full custody give him or help the research Foodstamps ! Most states you can apply for day care assistance also. Churches will help with clothing etc too! But me & my family always hit up yard sales even though we can afford stuff we still look for good sales! Our city has a free or helping group on Facebook.
He needs an extra sitter and to give you a little money or send food when you do have them. Talk to him, it’ll be ok. And you still get time w your grandbabies.
I’d tell him just exactly what you said here. You love your grandkids deeply but you’re tired, worn out and exhausted physically, mentally and financially with trying to work full time, babysitting and providing for his children. I’d give him a dead line date and let him know you’re serious that you need him to make other arrangements. It’s not your job. You raised yours and he needs to do what it takes to raise his. I wouldn’t jerk the rug out from underneath him and leave him in a bind but I’d set a date that he needs to have made the changes to get the new sitter on board. Let him know you have a life and you’re going to start living it. Honesty is always the best answer
People can only take so much don’t feel bad
I’m assuming he is also a one income household as well? Maybe he can’t afford daycare, I know in my hometown 1 kid is like 800 dollars every 2 weeks and I’ve heard of higher, you could possibly be his only hope. HOWEVER , you dont have to help him if you dont want to help him call him before he brings them and tell him not to bring those kids over and tell him why, and YES his feelings will be hurt and he will be upset but its unavoidable tbh
I think that for the fact that your son is actually working and trying to provide for his family instead of being in the streets & not doing nothing for his baby’s that you should continue helping him! NO, that is not your responsibility but he’s a trying man & I’m sure that If you stop baby sitting he may loose his job. Their is a program thru the workforce solutions called NCI its free child care. Tell him to apply. They pay for daycare. I am on nci and have been for almost 5 years now it’s a awesome program…I wish yall both the best of luck and pray yall can work something out
Definitely have the conversation with him. Depending on where you’re located, the children may qualify for state assistance with childcare. That may be something he can look into… good luck mama!!
Tell him to get a wife
You are doing a great thing by providing childcare for his children. Being a single parent is hard, and I can’t imagine doing it alone. My parents, and my in-laws watch my daughter, and I’m so grateful for them. It’s a lot to ask to watch kids when you’ve had your time with your own children, so I understand that aspect as well. Working 40 hours a week, then having to take care of grandkids can be taxing. So I totally understand where you are coming from.
On the other hand, childcare is ridiculously expensive nowadays. With everything going on in the world as well, I wouldn’t trust anyone to watch my daughter except family and those I trust. Maybe your son feels the same way? I could never hire a babysitter to watch my daughter, and again- it’s ridiculously expensive. My husband and I were looking at minimum of 1k per month for a regular childcare situation. It’s something we simply cannot do, unless it was absolutely necessary.
I think your son should provide items for the kids though. Food, clothes, diapers, wipes, etc. I always provide those items for whoever is watching my daughter since it’s not their responsibility to obtain them. But then again, I don’t know your sons situation, and maybe he can’t afford to provide extra supplies for those watching his kids if he is a single father. I’d mention to him that you also cannot afford to buy these things, and ask him to provide items from home.
Fortunately, you are doing a great thing by providing care to his children, and your grandchildren. It’s rare to find grandparents that are involved in the childrens lives, as a lot of grandparents have the mindset of “I already did it with my own kids, tough luck.” I would talk to him about how you feel, and see if there are any other options, but quitting entirely may make you not see your grandkids as often. Maybe set a strict routine so that you have some downtime to yourself if they’re in bed, etc. taking care of yourself is just as important, but providing for your son and his children is important too.
Maybe help find another person that can babysit partime or full time for him and go with him to meet the person maybe that will work.
Been there done that… 3 years loved them dearly and would not change the daily grind. But it did have it moments were we wanted to be fishing and couldn’t go. We made sacrafices for the kids. It was worth it. I miss them now as they are growing up and moved away…
Just say no…, don’t explain don’t answer questions , NO!
Sit him down and explain it to him. I’m sure he will understand.
Your son’s feelings are not your responsibility and neither are his kids…this said with the fact that he just drops them off and expects you to “mother” them. It is called Tough Love. It is tough because we love our kids. Your son is taking total advantage of you. Also, you have to take care of YOU or you won’t have the life ypu work for. Your son needs to figure out a plan! Good luck.
Stop being available tell him you have plans and not to being the kiss over. He’ll have to get an alternative. Some people don’t have grand parents and find other means. He is taken advantage of both grandma’s.
Give him a time frame….I will no longer be able to babysit after May 15th so you’ll need to make other arrangements…he can figure it out offer to help find him a daycare or sitter if you feel compelled. But if he’s not taking the prior “hints” force his hand
Tell him you were glad to help out but the time has come to exclude you as a babysitter. Tell him you’re tired and can’t do it anymore. Gove him a last day.
Your son is leeching off you. He is a grown man and they are his kids. It’s one thing to ask for occasional assistance but he should be hiring a sitter. I know that’s hard with working nights - but not impossible. Or- he could pay you to be the one night caretaker - at the same rate he would pay a sitter. It’s a hard conversation to have - but he needs to grow up
and “ adult”
It’s hard to find a sitter when you work nights.
Be honest that you’re burnt out and even though you love spending time with them you need a break from it for awhile. You’ve went and above and beyond helping them out so far. It’s time to rest and save up your money for rainy day. Hopefully he’s been putting the savings of not paying for daycare, a lower food bill and the school clothes will help him find childcare.
All I’m going to say…is my granny would NEVER…They don’t make grandparents like they used too.
The sense of entitlement your son has is outrageous. If he has to work days now that’s on him. You helped for as long as you could.
I watch my grandson a lot. Im a SAHM so Im here w my littles anyway…I told her Id always support her w him as long as she is making choices and steps that better thier future. She isnt out clubbing or jacking off, shes at work. Sounds like he is trying to b a good Dad and an open/honest convo would prob solve a lot of the issues.
You need to tell him… Grandma is burned out and he needs to find a sitter. You’ve become a built in caretaker and that cup is running over. Don’t feel guilty… you raised your family. Helping is ONE thing, the grands becoming your responsibility IS another!
Could you maybe set strict guidelines with him and say “I can only watch them 1 or 2 times a week” (whichever you choose) and say you love him and your grandkids but your becoming burnt out emotionally and physically and can no longer watch the kids more then 1 or 2 times a week. Then I’d show some empathy and tell him you know how hard being a single parent is and he’s doing a great job, that you love spending time with them, but you need your guidelines and boundaries to be respected.
Maybe even offer to help him find a sitter for the days your no longer able to help (he’d obviously have to pay for it) and tell him you’d help him with meeting them. Also explain that he needs to help with whatever money your spending on the kids. That you want to be grandma and get them fun presents or days out every once in awhile and you can’t do that when your providing there day to day financial needs.
If you really are just done with watching them then I’d just be completely honest about how you’re feeling.
I just know I’d kill for my kids to have a close relationship with my husbands parents. They moved out of state when my oldest was 3 and although we still see them anywhere between 3-6 times a year it’s not the same as when they were close. My mom lives super close to me but she has always worked at the same times my husband works and the same times I used to work so there was no way she could help with watching them. It was a big reason I eventually quit working and became a stay at home mom, we couldn’t afford the child care.
Whatever you choose I hope all goes well!
Could you maybe set strict guidelines with him and say “I can only watch them 1 or 2 times a week” (whichever you choose) and say you love him and your grandkids but your becoming burnt out emotionally and physically and can no longer watch the kids more then 1 or 2 times a week. Then I’d show some empathy and tell him you know how hard being a single parent is and he’s doing a great job, that you love spending time with them, but you need your guidelines and boundaries to be respected.
Maybe even offer to help him find a sitter for the days your no longer able to help (he’d obviously have to pay for it) and tell him you’d help him with meeting them. Also explain that he needs to help with whatever money your spending on the kids. That you want to be grandma and get them fun presents or days out every once in awhile and you can’t do that when your providing there day to day financial needs.
If you really are just done with watching them then I’d just be completely honest about how you’re feeling.
I just know I’d kill for my kids to have a close relationship with my husbands parents. They moved out of state when my oldest was 3 and although we still see them anywhere between 3-6 times a year it’s not the same as when they were close. My mom lives super close to me but she has always worked at the same times my husband works and the same times I used to work so there was no way she could help with watching them. It was a big reason I eventually quit working and became a stay at home mom, we couldn’t afford the child care.
Whatever you choose I hope all goes well!
Your allowing him to stay co dependent.
Overnight - not one night
It’s so hard to separate our feelings when it comes to family. I am an 64 yo woman who couldn’t do physically or financially. I suggest you read this tomorrow as if it was anonymous and write your response to Jane Doe. Give your son a copy of both a big hug filled with love and 2 weeks notice. It’s time for you to be grandma. Thinking of you as you are going through this.
My partners mum offered to babysit twice a week to save us money from using daycare. But these are her days off.
I could never expect someone who works over 40 hours a week to then have my kids for free 3 days a week and provide them with absolutely nothing.
Your son is an adult and he should be providing for his kids regardless of where they are!
I was a single mum for years and had to juggle everything. I put myself through the last year of high school and then trade school with no family to help babysit during the week. It was costly and we just made it through, but it was essential to get us in a better place.
I would definitely say something and offer to help find an appropriate sitter.
You can’t sacrifice for 2 -3 days per week? He’s a single dad and needs help. Also, feeding the 2 small kids for those 2 - 3 days is a financial drain? If your single dad son can’t lean on family to help out who can he run to?
I have a friend that’s is being used also. Just say NO
Tell him you raised your kids and hell no go find the momma
How about making him contribute
Slowly tell him the nights that your suppose to have them hey I can’t baby sit tonight I have plans. Make sure you make arrigements
Its time for a serious chat. If you can’t manage to look after your grandchildren 2 or 3 nights a week give him a limit you can cope with. Can you do alternate weeks or nights with the other grandma to give you both free nights ? Can he get someone a few nights and you two cover the other nights ? look into alternatives for him and give him a list to choose from. Ive worked nights and know how easy it is to let things get away from you …because you’re asleep during the day…is it possible to spend the nights you sit at his house ? Children are always easier surrounded by their own things. Would you be able to reduce your hours and could he make up your wage to cover that ?
Finding a sitter you can trust all night with your children is hard and he trusts you both to look after your grandchildren…thats an honour in my book and there’s never any better than family . Hopefully you can all sit down together and work out a schedule that suits you all rather than trusting strangers or him losing out on his job
Our family has pitched in to help our oldest child with his daughter, and we only have a relationship with our granddaughter out of necessity. I think it is immensely helpful if your kids show appreciation and see the sacrifice that you are giving to help them out. Too many adult children feel that it is a grandparent’s obligation to provide children, but unlike our previous generation, most of us are still working full time. Appreciation and consideration for one another goes a long way. I do hope that some resolution can be found that will be good for all involved.
Ur the grand parent not the baby sitter… but that being said ur 3 days a week is better then some other phyco mentally or physically harming your grandchildren. And they probably love seeing u 3 days a week is not up rooting ur life ur giving less then half ur week away to ur grand kids remember that… ur not gunna be here for ever so if I was ur grand kids I’d be Happy as hell to atleast have great memories with u before and after you die. I’ve learned alot since my mother has passed away. Also don’t have kids then if u don’t wanna be grand parents I the future period because thats what it’s all about u fall downs.
Get someone to come help you with the kids at your house for a few hours until bedtime and tell him you need X$
My parents made me pay them. And I made sure my girls had what they needed.
You raised your kids! You are one person. You need to enjoy life…
Tell him he needs to pack a bag for the kids when they come and you can only do it once or twice a week instead of 2-3. He needs to find a sitter for the days you and the other grandmother can’t sit.
I heard a little saying one time and I don’t know if this applies to you so don’t take it personal if it is or not but I heard that if you don’t raise your kids you raise your grandkids
I would talk with him again and see if he can give u some money to help out. Finding a day care or someone to baby sit is one thing but finding a someone to watch ur kids over night is another and i personaly wouldnt trust just anyone to do that especially if they are at an age where they cant tell dad that they are being mistreated
Sit him down and have a heart to heart talk about the situation He possibly has not thought about the issues you are experiencing
You absolutely have the right to prioritize your needs first. You cant help anybody if your cup is not full. You work a full time job and deserve to be able to relax when you get home. It’s also messed up that he isnt paying for their needs or food. He is taking advantage of you and it is your responsibility to create a boundary to ensure your physical, mental and financial health and your #1 priority. Its not about hurting people’s feelings.
I honestly see why you are feeling that way, yes I believe grandparents should help, it’s the way grandparents have always been… but things aren’t as cheap as they used to be and times are different. It isn’t your job to provide for those children, put your foot down mama! He needs to either send clothes and food or give you money to pay for their needs
I can most likely say he didn’t plan this life for himself. And just needs a little help. Times have changed since we was needing help. Now days it’s hard to find someone that you can trust with your precious babies. While you bust your butt to raise them. Turning the chance away to make memories with the babies is your choice. Just know…you helped while you could.
Be authentic; be honest. No matter what you do, feelings will be hurt. In this case, being transparent would prevent making it worse in the long run - The fact that you’re taking to social media with this conundrum says a lot. Sparing other’s feelings still creates a lie somewhere which leads to resentment, confusion, bitterness…
He needs to provide whatever his kids need while with you, it shouldn’t be all on you for care and expenses. He needs to be sat down and told u are ready to cut the cord completely if he doesn’t step in, period.
Is that his work schedule? Only 2 or 3 shifts a week?? If that’s so, then he is likely struggling financially. He needs to find a better job, he needs to apply for assistance and SNAP, he needs to apply for child care assistance and, of course, medicaid for his whole family.
Unpopular opinion…
2-3 nights a week isn’t taking up all your free time and the other grandparents are helping as well.
If you need money or less days… communicate that.
He learned his parenting skills from YOU
Wow just wow…
life was easier when you were a single mom …
Smh… only 2-3 nights a week???
Smh …
Have you ever heard that it takes a tribe to raise a child?
Anyone who wouldn’t take care of their grandkids is selfish honestly. You made their parent and unlike in your day relationships are disposable nowadays and Too many people struggle and suffer cuz it was never supposed to be only one person’s job to raise a child. I will never ask my kid for anything but time with my grandkids, and that’s how it should be. It’s not like she’s providing for their entire life. It’s only a meal and being present a couple times a week. Hardly a burden. I don understand the problem with helping your overburdened child. Again selfish, and shameful
I’m a single mum and my parents have never babysat my children and I’ve never expected them too. Mind you, I’ve also worked full time and carried a full house hold by myself. Tell him to sort himself out and his kiddos.
You do it because you love those kids but its time to move on and do your own thing your son needs to grow up ,
How can I tell my son I no longer want to babysit? your answer is in your question…“Tell your son you no longer want to babysit”. Give me notice time so he can find someone else and/or help him find a suitable person. Don’t make ANY excuses, use explanations that are TRUE and just say it.
Tell him to pay you to babysit and everything else and if that don’t work tell him you’re done and if you don’t like it tough shit!
I’m not trying to be mean but 2 or 3 nights a week is not all your time. Paying for a sitter or daycare is expensive right now. When I babysit for someone I try to charge based on their income because I know the struggle. If you’re not wanting to watch them because of cost food/drink wise then talk with your son and tell him you can’t afford to keep paying for everything. My daughter just had my 1st grandbaby and I watch the baby when my daughter picks up her fiancee from work or if they go to the store or whatever right now, I do not charge them I will not charge them if my daughter goes back to work either. My mom and my mother in law both watched my daughter when my husband and I both worked and never charged me. My husband and I are both on disability and if my granddaughter needs anything I will give up whatever I need to to make sure she has it, if that’s me buying food for her or whatever I’ll so that.
With you working 40+ hours yourself, you need down time. Just tell him before it starts to build resentment. Sounds like your son has it made, free babysitting and doesn’t buy anything.
Telling you are exhausted physically and financially explain to him that you cannot do this anymore that your health is being affected and that you are exhausted and he needs to find a new babysitter
Where is the children’s mother??
He should be paying for all the childs needs! That its not your responsibility. & people saying your selfish are retarded. Its not your job to babysit your grandkids. What does he thinks the rest of us do. You get a sitter or work a job that works with having a child. Asking you to watch here & there is fine, but expecting it & also expecting you to pay for everything, thats HIM being selfish! Daycares dont pay for the kids so i dont get why him or anyone else thinks you should be