They both probably won’t come, I wouldn’t chance it if you want the Dad there.
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It’s actually up to him, NOT you. It’s also his wedding. But I hope he reads this, because you seem like a lot.
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Step moms play an important role, and I feel she would be really hurt by this. This is going to cause unnecessary drama. It’s a wedding and you’re celebrating bringing families together.
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Yea good luck with that nonsense…
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If he feels the same, and you guys would feel more comfortable and less stressed if she wasn’t there, then yes, have her sit at the table over, close to her husband but with other family from that side…
I would(together) tell his dad first, then he, I’m turn, can break the news to her…
If your groom doesn’t feel the same, take the visa someone else on here, have them sit together with the dad closer of course and have his mom sit with your dad
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How would you feel as a divorced person being stuck next to a person you couldn’t handle being married to? You need to talk to the dad and mom privately, and really make sure dad is okay with this. You will end up with a scene if you’re not careful.
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Maybe it’s your wedding but for you to even think about leaving the stepmom out over a balance sitting issue is ridiculous. If you tried this little stunt as the husband of the stepmom I would not sit there or even go if my spouse was not welcome .
I feel sorry for his family bringing you into the mix …what kind of person would try this nonsense ??? Wow
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It’s your wedding just say I’m sorry but we don’t want you sitting at our table. If she throws a fit so what
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Say it again its your wedding do what you want but to make it easy on the groom have mom. Set next to her son then dad and step mom set next to husband
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If you want drama, do what you plan to do and separate them. If you want his dad to not show and lose all respect for you that’s the way to go! (That’s his wife). Or you could do away with the drama, and have a table for parents, and a table for you and your fiancé. Idk if you have kids yet but some food for thought…. Yes, it’s YOUR day, but when your children get married, you want to enjoy it too. It’s a CELEBRATION. If the bride brings in drama, it’s more of a chore (gotta get through this to support them even if we don’t want to be a part of the drama). Don’t stress it. Mother of the groom has a dance at the reception so his mom will feel celebrated (and if you choose to keep everyone at the same table, she could sit beside her son). If step
Mom causes any drama, just straight up say “with all due respect, I’m not interested in partaking in any drama. This is going to be a beautiful celebration that focuses on my fiancé and me and I hope you can get on board with that. If not, you will have to understand that I will not respond to any issues that don’t concern me or encourage the celebration.”
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You don’t. You must accept her no matter what. Your being childish and immature. Be a better person and shower her with kindness and she will learn to respect you in doing so. Never stoop lower than how someone else is treating you poorly. You are better than that. Prove it. Grow up and accept the fate that she will forever be in your life from now on. Otherwise it will be hell. Don’t be a petulant child. God bless and congratulations in your New adventure together. How you treat you futon laws will determine how they will treat you the rest of your life.
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Sit his mum with your dad then, his dad and step mum together… that’s a pretty obvious solution
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How would you feel,going to a wedding and not sitting by your husband?
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Driving over for a BBQ or something is way different than a huge life event.
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Stop the BullCrap …why alienate anyone in public. If you despise this woman so much that her mere presence infuriates you…GROW A PAIR of 
And just not invite her…I’m sure she’d rather be sipping wine with friends . Then attending a function where her presence isn’t wanted
GROW UP !
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Is no one reading the last sentence where it literally says step mom and husband have never really been close. So I’m sure he probably feels the same way lol.
Doesn’t the wedding party sit at the front table? Whatever the outcome. Just glad the only problems you have in life right now is that you don’t want your n law sitting at your table lol
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No not at all…give all of them their own table and you 2 your own table or put your dad and his mom on one side and.step.mom and dad on the other… you’re marrying and combining families so don’t start off with something so ridiculous
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Ew. You are lovely.
That’s his step mom. She should be included unless he doesn’t like her. It doesn’t matter if your dad is now a widow. That has zero to do with his parents situation.
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Causing drama at your own wedding …
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What does your husband-to-be want? That’s equally, if not more important, than you being afraid of having only 1 person on your side of the table
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This just doesn’t seem right. Your reasons seem kind of petty and there is no good way to do this. You will only end up hurting her.
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How about his dad doesn’t show up because you wanna make his wife feel not wanted. You are marrying into the family right.
Just tell her that she is not invited once and for all:joy:
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Grow up and drop the drama. This is absolutely ridiculous and your behavior is only going to alienate him from his father.
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It your wedding I say do what you want
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With your views you might have less people attending your wedding Ms selfish
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Why add drama…does he get along w her? Is she part of his life? why not include all his parents.
Because of my family dynamic I had a table set up for just me and my husband. Everyone who showed up to my wedding was there for us.
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As the step mother of 8 I will tell you that would be pretty rough. I have been to a few of my husbands childrens weddings and always made to feel important but, I get along with their “real mom” and I also lay low, not inserting myself into anything, waiting to be asked to join in on certain things. For some people, (me included) being a stepmom is hard. It’s a huge balance of being there if an adult child needs you but pretty much only butting in when you are called to do so.
I will say that your description makes me wonder if the “thing” she wanted maybe belonged to her or his dad and I wonder what it would be like for his dad if his wife was not included?
You do what you want but it sounds like what you are doing is going to make his mom, his dad, his step mom and possibly him pretty uncomfortable. It is his wedding too. You are really showing poor manners and a definite lack of maturity and class.
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Put all the parents, including the step mom, at a table together near you and your new husband. If you exclude her you may upset your new father in law as well, and presumably they’re going to be in your life for a long time. It’s not best practice to be petty and piss of your in-laws at the beginning. His Mom, and your fiance, may value peace far more than the recognition of being at the bride and grooms table.
Just have the two mothers at the table
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Why don’t you have his dad and step mom by him and your dad and his real mom by you? My mother-in-law and I didn’t get along but she still watched babies come out my fwa fwa.
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Wow! Sounds like you need to rethink this. It sounds rude and ridiculous. I wouldn’t even show up to your wedding if I was his dad because this is wrong on so many levels good luck
Sit them all together
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I’d seriously just have a table set up for the two of you. A lot of people do this.
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OO that’s not nice … I know it’s your wedding but they are MARRIED that’s so disrespectful and demeaning to her …to have just his mom and dad at the table together when there not even together anymore … and putting her to the side …but it’s your wedding good luck with that .
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I would just up say it how you want. Be up front and bold its not going to hurt her. she will act as if it does but just ignore hun. trust me.
It’s your wedding if you don’t want her to come you can tell her no.
People’s feelings may be hurt but the only feelings who matter are you and your soon to be husbands as this is your guys day
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I personally would just have you and your husband sit at the sweetheart table and let everyone else sit where they want. Avoid the whole thing altogether. My husbands parents were never married but both have spouses. I doubt they would want to sit next to each other at dinner with people watching them when they’re not married lol awkward for all
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Let his mom sit with your dad. Problem solved
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Wtf! His dad 100% doesn’t want to sit with his ex-wife! I am sure plenty of people don’t like you but your husband loves you and that’s what matters! Have his mom sit with your dad and get over yourself
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At the end of the day, you need to speak with your fiance and let HIM make that decision. You need to determine whether your decision to not include stepmom is worth the consequences that will follow. Also try to put yourself in her shoes. How would you feel showing up to your stepson’s wedding and being placed at a table by yourself… meanwhile your husband is sitting at the table next to his exwife.
Pick your battles. Best of luck
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You are childish. Grow up. Have none of the family sit with you and just have you wedding party! I sat all the parents at the same table for my wedding. After everyone eats, it won’t matter anyway! People will get up and walk around, change seats, and dance.
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WHAT DOES YOUR HUSBAND WANT? I feel like you should have say on your parent and he has say on his. Let your husband have a say in this aspect of the wedding. It’s a big day for him too.
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Let ALL of his parents sit at the family table. That’s just rude.
If I was his father I wouldn’t sit at that table if my wife wasn’t allowed 
it’s gonna cause problems with his relationship with his son and you as well
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You are selfish, hopefully he opens his eyes before making such a huge mistake.
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I’d sit YOU in the corner like a darn time out, that’s foolishness 
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What does your fiancé say? When my daughter got married I was doing our side guest list. I didn’t want my half brother & wife coming ( mainly the wife). I talked to my dad (his son) thankfully he didn’t care.
Yea I hope the dad stands up for his wife, this is so childish!
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That’s crazy. That’s his wife
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The right thing to do here is to include/invite them all to be at this table. They are adults and each have their own place in this family - you don’t need to micromanage the relationships.
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I think you’re forgetting what’s important here. The wedding is supposed to be about two people who love each other and want to spend the rest of their lives together. It’s not about the dress. How many bridesmaids you have and how uneven your table will look because there’s an extra person. His step mom is family whether you like it or not. She deserves to be there. So you don’t want to see her next to the birth mom but she should be there at the table. Get your priorities straight. Remember what’s really important? It’s about your vows. It’s not about having even number of people on your table
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Just say it and be done your two wedding not hers. If she can’t understand that then that’s on her.
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That’s a tough situation. However it is your wedding and she should understand that she had no part in creating him for u. If she isn’t ok with that then maybe she should just opt out completely. She should be understanding even if it does hurt her feelings.
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I would say it’s up to him. Who does he want up there with him. Doesn’t matter if the sides are uneven
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Its his wedding too…im sure there is enough room for her as well
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Either you have all parents sit at the table, or sit alone with your husband. Just remember this , there’s no re do’s. 
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Depends on what kind of relationship you want with your soon to be Father in Law, and how does your fiance feel about excluding her? How will that affect your fiance and fathers relationship from here on out if you go out for your way to exclude his wife??
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I don’t think ur over reacting . I Actually agree with u . Only 1 person on ur side and 3 on the other is off putting n yes his mom deserves to be recognized in a special way. But how to break it to them n not sound bitchy hmmmm . I think its possible. Maybe only have ur dad on ur said and his mom on the other. I’d ask the dad to sit with his new itch at a regular table or for speeches cheers etc parents could be at the table birth parents only but to eat it maybe just ur dad in ur side and just his mom on the other… it’s possible a little sticky but it it was my day n I didn’t like the witch , shit she wouldn’t even be there .
why dont u sit he dads together on one side and the mothers the other
You eill just caise problems leaving her out just give her a firm warning before hand to behave
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You’re being petty and it’s going to cause problems. His step mom is his mom too. She should be included if any of the other parents are.
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I get that you can’t stand his Stepmom and yes she seems like a piece of work. HOWEVER, that is your future father in law’s wife. How do you think he will feel about that? Better yet, how would you feel if someone wanted to EXCLUDE YOU from something but still invited your husband? OR, how would you feel if someone wanted your husband to sit next to his ex and toss you somewhere else in the same room? Honey you can’t expect people to respect your marriage, you have to respect theirs.
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This is a good way to start a fight between your father-in-law and his wife. Also it’s a really good way to start your guys’s in law relationship off on a really bad foot. I would either let them sit together and have her kind of on the side, or just sit all of the parents at a table nearby, and have just you two at the bride and groom table. That’s way too much to ask. How does your husband feel about this? Considering that it’s HIS family on HIS side, that you so graciously pointed out.
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Just say it and be done it’s your day
I honestly don’t feel you would be doing the right thing having the step mother sit by herself at your wedding and I know if my children tried to have me not sit with their step father I wouldn’t sit at the bride and grooms table I wouldn’t expect my husband to sit without me so maybe you shouldn’t have either of the parents sit at your table most weddings I’ve been to the bridal party sits with the bride and groom or the bride and groom sit alone I’m just saying reverse the roles would you allow that to happen to you and your husband 20 years from now if the roles are reversed
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Put his mother with your father on one side… Then his dad and step mother on the other side… Then it is even… Honestly it sounds like you’re being petty and just want to pay her back.
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How rude!!! how can a marriage succeed with it’s beginnings so limiting and abrasive?
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What does your fiancé want ? He should have a say as it’s his wedding too
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You be the adult. Invite all.
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I would never do this, I was raised to act proper in a formal setting. I consider this formal, if the father is at the table it is proper for the significant to be at his side. You would have her sit separately away from her husband? Put yourself in her shoes, wouldn’t you feel alone? Weddings aren’t exactly thrilling for guests and they prefer to sit with people they can chat with…… like…. Her husband lol.
It’s seems to me your more interested in the head count versus the hearts involved. I hope you reconsider this, I also hope your able to find it in your heart to establish a relationship with this woman. Life is very short. My step father passed just 2 months ago and he an I were as close as my own father and I . And now I have neither of them anymore. I cherish them both and wish you peace. Good luck 
Also if you don’t have the balls to say it to her face , that you don’t want her at the table, then you shouldn’t do it at all.
Wow. All or nothing. All parents including step parents or none. Get over it. Can’t believe this is even a consideration.
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You are being ridiculous.
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How would you feel if you were in her shoes leaving her out is wrong she is in the family too set a table for you and the groom and set one close buy for his mom and step mom And your dad
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Your going to look like a bridezilla by I citing his dad and not his step mom. Or by inviting her and making her sit somewhere else. You can’t invite a couple and then have them sit on opposite sides of the rood. She is going to be in your life try to make the best of it for the sake of everyone but especially your husband to be
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It’s your wedding so you can do what you like.
That being said I would expect it to cause some kind of drama one way or another as it’s not exactly pleasant.
I personally couldn’t get married and not have all my parents on the same table as me, that includes my step mum and my mum is also single it doesn’t really make a difference. Family is family!
Let your fiance decide since its his wedding too.
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If my child got married and I was the step mum I’d be telling u to stick ur invite where the sun doesnt shine, who are u to tell ur partners family that they cant sit with each other or maybe have no parents at the table saves alll the snakeness then xxx
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That’s completely rude. You clearly are lacking in the etiquette department.
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How does he feel about it. You two decide and if she doesn’t like it too bad she can be busy somewhere else that day. It is about you and your spouse that day becoming one
What does your fiancée want? If he wants his mom at the same table, as his dad then tell the step mom. Why not have all the parents at one table not split up?
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Put his step mom next to your dad!
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Conversations are hard…speak from your heart but be prepared for her dramatics…ITS YOUR FN WEDDING…don’t give in.
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I’m going to be on your side and say you should just tell her. Who cares if she’s mad at you? You are marrying your husband not her. It’s YOUR wedding.
How about you just don’t invite her. I think that would hurt a little less than being completely disregarded on your step sons special day because his wife to be is petty.
And honestly, it will save the hard feelings. I’m sure with not just the step mother, but the remainder of the family will be upset by that decision.
I wouldn’t care if that’s my son’s wedding or not, if my new husband was not allowed to sir with me then I would not be sitting there either.
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Listen hun, I know that in laws can be a bit much. Hell our own parents can be a bit much and needy at times. I don’t think that is a reason to exclude her from the table. I like the ideas given to have his mom and your dad sit beside you and have step mom and his dad beside him. Trust me, I know its your day. The day is all about you and your husband. Just always do things out of love and not spite. We get our blessings from how WE treat people. So just remember that. I hope you do what makes the both of you happy. Some times we have to compromise. This seems like one of those times.
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Sit his real Mom next to your Dad and make her feel special. introduce her in the speeches as your MIL and say how happy you are for her to be there. Put StepMom on the furthest point.
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Do you really want bad blood so soon in marriage 
What does fiancé think? Something like that
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You and your husband together at 1 table alone then near your table put your dad and his parents with step mom u can’t seat the step mom without her husband that will only cause problems
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If you Father In law is a good husband he will refuse to sit at the table without his wife . I get that she’s annoying but this is just going to cause more problems… I wouldn’t do it !
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With all due respect and I mean with all due respect I did not marry you and you will not be sitting at the mr. And mrs. Table
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Why doesn’t your fiance tell his step-mum that she is not sitting at the bride and groom??
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I think that’s disrespectful af to be honest. If his dad is at that table his wife should be too. Use some manners.
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It’s your guys wedding. Do what you want. Long as both of you agree and are ok with the outcome. It’s your day. Enjoy
I don’t think uneven sides would be a huge problem but I think for his side it’s definitely up to him. But as you already mentioned they aren’t close. So I would just tell her these are the seating arrangements. If it’s a problem…then its hers to be had.
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This is ridiculous! I would never do or say anything to make my children uncomfortable.
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Don’t separate the family u just found together please if ur fiancee’s family is ok with sitting together why ain’t you
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It’s your wedding. Plan a seating arrangement. If she doesn’t like it let her stay home. Most likely her husband will stay home too, if it comes to that. But it is your wedding. Remember that.
How does your fiancé feel about it? You certainly have to consider his feelings in this also. You might just need to suck it up and remember this woman is part of the family, regardless. Good luck, honey.