My parents are divorced and it was ugly. I told all of them that it’s my wedding and they would all play nice or go sit somewhere else. They all agreed to behave so my dad and his fiancé and my mom and her husband all sat there on my side. My hubby had his mom and sister there on his side. No one cared that there was 4 on one side and 2 on the other. Pick your battles, this will not end well.
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This is so wrong wow
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With the problem being which way to go you could always set a table to the side just for your parents your father his father and stepmom and his mom and just have the bride and groom and bridesmaids and groomsmen at the front table
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My cousin had her bridesmaids on her side with their significant others and the groom had his groomsmen on his side with their significant others on his side which I thought was a beautiful idea (tables shaped like a U)and the parents sitting at a table near by. This could eliminate your problem all together. I would not recommend your idea. That’s a way to potentially ruin your entire day. It’s all or nothing with the parents.
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I feel like that will set the tone for your entire relationship… with not just the step mom but also his dad… that is his dads wife. How rude. Really…. We have 4 children together but I also have a step daughter from my SO previous relationship… that would break my heart if she did something like that to me when she grows up and gets married. That’s honestly disgusting behavior.
Put your bridal party at a long table in the middle and put parents on the sides round tables
I can’t stand my step parents, so I understand
I am probably the only person who understands this. I absolutely hate my stepmother. If and when I get married, she will not be invited. Now my dad? I’ll invite him but he won’t be walking me down the isle and he won’t be sitting at the table with us.
Its yalls dream day. Don’t invite her.
YOUR wedding…NO sweetheart it is both your day and your fiancee day 
The whole point of a wedding is bringing 2 people, 2 families together to make 1…you sound awfully spiteful because your fiancee will have more people than you will…the step mom is his father’s WIFE, not his mother! Let’s have some respect and NOT make it all about what YOU want
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Maybe ask the groom what he wants. It’s his wedding too.
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Wow, if that’s how you feel and how you treat people, maybe you should just elope. Such immaturity!
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It’s your wedding do as you please but that’s messed up and don’t get mad if dad chooses to stick up for his wife, yes that’s his son but his son is an adult now.
Make your table the wedding party of friends and not parents. Make a parents table and put them all together. Settled.
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Personally I wouldn’t do it. Yes it’s your wedding but you just don’t act like that with family. And yes she is family. Besides when you have a baby his stepmom might be the one that steps up to help. God knows sometime we can use all the help we can get with a baby.
Suck it up and make her feel like she is part of the family.
I say petty petty petty life is too short this is your special day don’t be bradzilla if your dad will be the only one at your table let the ex wife sit next to him there’s a way to be respectful put your foot down and still include her
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I would have the step mom included at the table. When you guys do the mother/son dance, that can be her special moment.
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Y’all are ridiculous 
if this had nothing to do with a wedding y’all would be all over telling her to drop the toxic step mother 
the woman shouldn’t even be invited to begin with let alone sitting at the reception table
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the step mom should be included . Your being immature. It’s his wife. Just keep them divided . I was a step mom . And the head table should only be your bridesmaids and ushers. If they have other family put them all together .
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Straight up just tell her
Nope that’s not cool at all…think about how you would feel if your kids asked this of You!!!just fucking elope if you must, or respect the family as they are…
I would just have your father and his real mother sit with you guys at your table.  That seems to be the only fair approach. 
I’d sit bio mom with your dad. Seperating families for the sake of "appearance " is silly to me. Marriage is two families merging. Special recognize his bio mom as yall wish and sit her with your dad so he isnt sitting alone while yall fight for spots on the other side of the table.
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You sound petty af and are making up reasons lol. Not exactly a good start at having a decent relationship with your husbands’ family.
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Make name cards for tables… and the bride and groom table have names as well… have a small table when people enter that have a list of people’s names and a table number…
Then you don’t even have to tell her… just put her name on a table that is close to the bride/groom table, but not at the bride and groom table. Just in case, designate someone to deal with her
If she throws a stink! 
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You’d be furious and deeply hurt if someone invited you to an event with your husband and then told you that you wouldn’t be allowed to sit next to your husband. Not only are you not allowed to sit next to your husband at this event, but your husband is going to sit next to his ex wife for the event.
See how well this is going so far?
Now, add in how you would feel if your husband let this happen? Would you feel loved? Cherished? Honored by your husband? Would it cause tension in your marriage? Would it cause tension at the event?
What I’m saying is this: that is his WIFE. The two come together, sit together, and leave together.
Practical solution: Maybe don’t do a head table with the parents. Do a sweetheart table and put a parent/siblings table nearby.
Also, yes it’s your wedding, but when you’re walking down the isle is the thought in your mind going to be the seating arrangements? Let it go.
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Why don’t you ask his dad how he feels about his partner not being allowed to sit at the table with himself and his ex-wife? Maybe he’d rather just not sit near you if you’re gonna act like that.
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To separate a married couple is not appropriate for seating. Sometimes you have to put differences aside it can’t be all one persons way and have harmony
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You’re a grown adult and it is your wedding. Make whatever choices you want. Just be ready for the consequences.
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I would not do the table thing just do you and your husband if that’s the case, not fair to make his parents feel uncomfortable all night forcing them to sit at a table alone and can possibly lead to his wife feeling upset and arguments. If you stuck on not including her then have them all sit at a large table together the four of them.
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Slap in the face for your soon to be husband:face_vomiting:
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You’re being immature. Suck it up and include her at the parents’ table. You will make yourself look ridiculous if you don’t include her.
What does the groom want? Does he have a say in this? Sounds as if you are being petty and vengeful due to past conflict with the stepmom.
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Have you talked to your fiance’s dad and how he feels about his wife not being able to sit with him? Will he even still sit at the table or be hurt by it to? What about a round table ? Your dad would be sitting by you and his family might make him feel included more that way to. And you could sit them all at it. It is your wedding and choice but if you separate the step mom it could cause problems with the fiance’s dad and make future relationships worse with them. Like the seating doesn’t have to be perfect wedding is suppose to be happy and about celebrating with friends and family. Either way if talk to fiance and his dad have them tell her if you decide that
That’s the biggest insult and if his father is a real man he won’t sit at the table either
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I actaully think that’s kinda rude. I am a Step-Mom and I would be very hurt if that happened to me. I have been there and Stepped up as a Mom and my place is with my husband which is her father. Maybe have all the parents sit at a table. I thought that’s usually how it went. The bridal party sits with the bride and groom but I haven’t been to a wedding for a very long time. Make sure you are ready for the repercussions of this decision too. It could cause an upset in your relationship with her and when you have kids you want her to love them and be involved. Kids never have too many people to love them.
Wow! If you were to ask your fiance’s step Mom to not sit at the table, I would fully hope that your future father-in-law tells you he won’t be sitting there either. This is so very rude. I really hope you rethink this and don’t do this and I hope your future step mom in law never hears about this! This is awful.
Just have a bride/groom table up front with your bridesmaids and groomsmen. Put ALL parents at a table facing y’all’s directly in front. Make the guest tables round and the tables upfront (where you’re sitting) the long rectangle ones. Besides I’m sure his mom and your dad will want to bring a +1 so they aren’t at the wedding alone. From the sounds of it you wouldn’t want their +1s upfront anyway. FYI though it’s not YOUR wedding it’s Y’ALL’S wedding. He has just as much say so as you do.
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What the hell is this
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Parents are parents. I say, have them all at the table or none.
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Wow! what a spoiled brat you are. Either all parents, including step-parents, or none are present.
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Be honest and tell his dad and stepmom the the set up. Have him talk to his dad and explain it as well. It’s your day and if she can’t except it then she needs to stay home
As a stepmother, I would be crushed. I also try extremely hard to have a good relationship with my stepdaughter. Stepparents are so often excluded and made to feel like the outsider. I genuinely hope if she is left out it is because she is as horrible as you say.
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So the issue for you is you would only have 1 on your side and he would have 3? I would say all our none🤷🏻♀️
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Just tell her she does not like it she does not have to attend
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Your wedding not hers do what makes you and your fiance happy 
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Either have just a bride and groom table or accept the hurt and drama your “want” is going to cause. You’re right it’s your wedding, it’s your grooms too. Take him into consideration here.
If balancing sides bothers you that much, and you care about your grooms biological mom and want her to be a special part, as you mentioned, have her sit on your side near your father, even though she’s not your mom…She will be included, and side will be balanced.
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As much as you dislike her, you still need to show respect to his father and his wife. If she is not at the table, then none of them should be. Your fathers wife is exactly that. If you were the step mom you would feel very uncomfortable with your husband sitting with his ex wife. I for one wouldn’t tolerate it. You also take a chance of his father saying we aren’t coming to the wedding if she isn’t recognized as his wife at the table. Suck it up for the dinner hour and enjoy your day!
so you’re going to make your dads wife sit elsewhere? I see a lot of drama brewing with this one and I get the feeling that you probably like it:woman_shrugging:t2: and there’s no reason to not see his mother as often as he wants to. If you can afford a wedding, you can afford an airline ticket.
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I wouldn’t come if my wife wasn’t welcome to sit next to me. I hear alot of stupid things when weddings are involved but this is up there on the list lmfao
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Just disinvite her to have your perfect day… screw having any respect for others bc hey it’s your big day right?! Lmao
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Do what it takes to be drama free.
Sit your mom by his dad and have 2 on each side
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Can one of them sit with your dad? So they’ll be 2 parents on each side and no hurt feelings? It’s also more aesthetically pleasing to have an even number on both sides
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My advice, if you can’t deal with step mom then you need to have all the parents, siblings, etc. seated at a table of their own and have a sweetheart table just for you and the groom. Having her seated separately from her husband isn’t acceptable and she will definitely make a scene if you try to keep them apart.
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Be prepared for his dad to sit this one out 
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Terrible idea. You are creating drama and trouble. Do not do it. I know it’s your wedding day but that is not a kind way to start your combined family because whether you like it or not you marry him and his family. Please rethink your seating arrangements.
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Really!! That is kind of cras!!! Sit her with your dad!
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If your husband is on board then just tell them. If he’s not close with the step mother then that alone would be a reason. And don’t let anyone saying your being petty alter your decision. His wife signed on for that when she married someone who had children with someone else. It’s your wedding & his mother misses out on a lot so make sure his mother is recognized before the step mother.
Unfortunately, she is married to your soon to be father n law and she is part of the family. Not allowing her to be at the table will just start some bad blood. Better yet elope and have just have a big party when your back.
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I told my dad straight up my step mom was not invited to my wedding period 
he respected that wish and i haven’t talked or seen my step mom since. That was 2018
Good luck…there is going to be drama no matter what…
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Oh please just be the bigger person This could have a real domino effect She is married to his dad like it or not family
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You’re not wrong for wanting what YOU want at your wedding. If her own stepson doesn’t fuck with her, why should you be made to?
You’re being a bridezilla. If I were the dad I wouldn’t sit at the table at all. I think having all the parents at one table is much better. You could do a table just for you and your fiance and then one for the parents.
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Your right it is your wedding but it’s not just yours it’s your fiancés wedding as well
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Just do the seating how you want it to be. It’s your wedding and they should respect your decision. It may also be awkward for his divorced mother and father and his wife to be seated at the same table. Congratulations on your nuptials.
I have a step mom and she’s included in everything as a family , she and I may not see eyes to eye on things but I wouldn’t exclude her …you obviously don’t come from that type of dynamics…your wedding is also about your soon to be husband as well not just you …. And his step mom regardless if you like her or not is part of his family
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It honestly sounds like you just don’t want it to seem like he has more support on his side since he has three and you have one which is selfish step parents always get the 
end of the stick when it comes to these situations can you imagine how she will be made to feel after u tell her this… I hope the way you are going to make her feel is a way you will never feel because it’s going to be a horrible feeling
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I just had a sweetheart table so we didn’t have to deal with this lol both my husband and I have step parents and his parents don’t really get along so we sat them at diffrent tables
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If your husband is on board, by all means BUT it’s not just YOUR wedding. It’s his as well, and if he has a good relationship with his step-mom, you need to put your feelings aside.
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Spread out the people. By the way, his does the groom feel?
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Either put his dad inn the middle or yours bridle party with you all and sit parents at a different table or just you and him at a table.
I would have his bio mother sit with your father only to avoid the drama 
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Think about this…If your FIL is a decent man he will choose to sit with his wife, and not the head table. So the whole plan of having just bio parents at the head table will be ruined anyway. Either all of them or none, you choose. Life is too short, choose your battles wisely.
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I suggest, bride/groom, his real mom next to him, his dad, then stepmom and your dad on your side. Stop being petty about the count. Him 3 and you 1.
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For one, it’s YALLS WEDDING, not yours! And if you go into marriage thinking like this, your marriage will not last. Everything is about compromise and you haven’t said anything about what you future husband wants…
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Ehhhh I’d be ready for the dad to not sit with you guys either lol. That’s kinda fucked.
Lol wow you’re going to have one pissed off mother in law if you do that. The step mom. Put the step mom next to your dad. When ppl make decisions like this they sometimes deeply regret it years after the wedding.
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I say do what your soon to be husband wants it’s his day too
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Sounds childish. How about just sit two and two- your Dad and his Mom on one side and his Dad and step mother on the other. Trying to ‘divide up’ HIS family based on your opinions about them shows you’re the exact same was @uptight as the one your criticized. Just stop it! 
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I wouldn’t care how she felt well depends on long the been together
That’s horrible! Already division in the family and you’re not even married yet??? The Bonus mom sits with her husband… the bio mom can sit on the other side of his dad! Geezzz ! I’ve dealt with this in 7 weddings… I am the bonus mom… but it’s the bio mom always putting up the stink with nose in the air…. We all have been included . Every wedding… and now years later… I have become the preferred one over the bio mom… as she doesn’t treat her daughter in law’s with the love and respect they deserve…. Anyway… don’t start a rift on your wedding day… allow all to come to participate! Do it right! Congratulations… hope it is a wonderful day to remember for everyone!
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Umm. We don’t get to weild the sword of vengeance to punish step mom. Plus, imagine how his Dad will feel. It’s y’all’s day, I get that. But your wedding isn’t a time to put someone in their place. Just my 2 cents.
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Just do it . It is your wedding.
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I think you need to include your Step Mom. I know it’s hard but including her will make you the better person. It will make you look bad if you don’t. Be an adult for a few hours and make light of the situation. You don’t need to upset your fiancés Dad. Think of his feelings. That is his wife and you don’t need to disrespect him and maybe make him not like you anymore all because your uncomfortable with the Step Mom. Think about it too just by not including your step mom your stooping to her level. People will see her true character. Ugly on the inside stands out. Let people make up their own minds up about her. Keep in mind too this lady will be in your life till the end you have to find ways to cope with her. Are you going to keep your composure? I know it’s tough but your marring into this family. I suggest you don’t cause any unnecessary drama earlier on in your marriage because it could impact your happiness and marriage long term. Deal with some one who is difficult for a few hours or possibly create a worse scenario then you wanted. Be the adult don’t stoop to her level and be the bigger person and don’t let her attitude ruin your day. Just include her get it over with move on. Focus on others at your wedding.
What a sad post!! And I don’t think you’re following the rules of etiquette either!!
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Usually, those standing up for the couple sit with the bride and groom
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Hmmm. Your day but also your life after. Live in peace and pull up enough chairs for everyone.
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Who cares if your side is just your Dad next to you? Just sit your fiancé’s mom next to him, then his dad, then his current wife. Let your fiancé’s father deal with the two woman he married on either side.
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Just put his mother next to your dad or just don’t have them sitting with y’all & let her be acknowledging during the mother son dance like your father daughter one.
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I’d be blunt and hope she just uninvites herself to the whole thing lol
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Wow. That is his parent… SMH. Don’t be petty.
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Your groom better stop you from causing such animosity because you have the rest of your life with her in it!
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If you trying to divide this will do it. Your dad is going to stand by his wife now your step mom is apart of your family I realize that is your big day but try to figure out a way to make it all work without hurt feelings…
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You’re asking for big drama…I’d be pissed if I was in her shoes as well…I go to a wedding, I want to sit with my husband…that seems completely unfair on your part to do that. Regardless of how you feel about her.
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Solve the problem by sitting your dad his parents and step mom at one table on one side and your bridesmaids and grooms men on other side!
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What a wife your fiancé got!! 
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Omg I really can’t believe the stupid crap women care about on their wedding day… 
seriously?? Where people will sit?. That is so dumb imo.
I see drama everywhere at this point… 
There are more important things to care about in a wedding than this but whatevs …im glad I don’t have drama queens as friends because reading this Def surprised me 
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YTA. Wow, you’re such an incredible AH. The stepmom is a part of his life. If you can’t accept that, then there’s no hope for your marriage. Only wanting his “real mom”, that comment made me sick. She’s just as deserving of a spot at the parents table.
Holy crap. I’d be surprised if they show at all. I know I wouldn’t. What the hell does your fiance have to say about all this? It’s his wedding, too. Even if they weren’t close. Have you talked to your dad or his parents to get their feedback? Probably not going to go over very well.
You should just cancel the wedding and go in front of a Justice of the Peace. Problem solved. Why even have guests. Unbelievable, JERK.
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I read a lot of “I want, me, I” in this story. What about HIS feelings and wants? Considering this is also his wedding and they are his parents.
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