How do I get my boyfriend to shower?

Definitely a deal breaker… I cannot even imagine getting “frisky” with that… :flushed: - and pretending to shower… yeah… all the red flags are thrown at you.

He is a grown man, he is not a child and not your child. Personally I would leave him over this but that’s just me ijs. You know that’s nasty and your still there, I’m sure you’ll figure it out.

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It will be mental illness period. Lack of self worth etc. Don’t blame yourself, he has probably had a shit life. Approach him but in the most caring sensitive way possible. X

That’s a deal breaker for sure, he probably don’t brush his teeth either or clean out his ears.

Gross. If that is his hygiene I don’t know how you kiss him or sleep with him. I’d be outa there so quick if someone needed to be told to wash themselves.

Made he had a sensory disorder for water on his body

Is he bi polar? My son for a while when he was younger refused to shower. He is bi polar. Dr told me that sometimes a person will have to force themselves to shower. They can’t help it. My son is now 23 and showers everyday. But oh man that was a battle.

Sounds like a mental issue. I have a client with paranoid schizophrenia and he has the same issues and doesn’t recognize there is a problem. This man needs to be seen by a doctor and find out where he lies on the mental scale. So sorry. But that is step one. Rule out a mental illness.

If he is faking a shower what else is he faking. I would move on . You can do better . No man should be musty .

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Maybe he has a shower phobia? But Girl, I’m loud and proud and at 62 if I ever had to say something to a man about showering. I’d have slapped the funk off him. Grown ass men folks shouldn’t need hints to bathe damn it! :roll_eyes::unamused: Sorry.

I’m sorry that I can’t handle it’s either you say something or I would leave

Tell him you want to try something kinky, convince him to have shower sex with you. :rofl:

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Well, explain to him that his hygiene is important to your relationship. That his body being dirty can cause you to get infections. I’m not saying it will work but you can try. My ex didn’t care and when our daughter was born, the Drs and nurses told him he could hold the baby until he showered. He didn’t. We ended up splitting because of it. He wore the same outfit for 4 months.

Ether go to his house and invite him in for a shower and see if he accepts. Or just come out just tell him Nicely honey were going out tonight and you smell like shit. Be honest. Lol.Lol

If you love someone, you don’t leave that person , you stand by them and work it out .

How do you get intimate with someone who doesn’t shower?

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It really goes to show that mens mental health is never put into question…. Lack of hygiene is a sign of mental health issues…. Maybe start there… there’s an underlying issue. Hope it works out for you

Does he brush his teeth? If he wont shower now I doubt its going to change when married. . Can you see you walking down the aisle and see him there with dirty hair and body? Need a heart to heart quickly

Perhaps he uses wet wipes? Has a phobia about water :joy:

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You said you’ve been with this guy 6 months …I mean man- child.
You wrote such a excerpt on his non showering butt.I have to say everyone is to shower daily and everyone knows shower b4 and after sex.So on top of all u said …he’s also full of sex smell from both of you 6 months worth of not washing that stuff off either…and that’s just the length of time you know about.That isn’t just unhealthy for him.Very unhealthy 4 you.Diseases… bacteria…etc…If he don’t care bout’ himself atleast respect yourself enuff’ and your body parts.Sometimes you gotta lead by example maybe," Hey, babe you wanna join me in the shower "?

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He will likely never change. My ex would “wash up” but rarely shower. Maybe you could suggest showering together. :woman_shrugging:

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Shower with him…if he won’t there is your opening to ask questions and get answers…then make your decision

Jody, right on. I met a potentially fabulous guy last year. He smelled so musty, I couldn’t imagine a relationship. He was also prohibitively needy. Next….

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Even after being in a relationship for 2.5 yrs, hygiene is still not regularly practiced by my boyfriend and if I tell him, he makes excuses and we get in a fight!

Could he be depressed maybe? Depression is awful, and this could be a possible symptom. :slightly_frowning_face:

So is anybody gon tell her or do I have to address the elephant in the room? Lmao

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Out of self-love and self-respect, we have our boundaries. I’m guessing that doesn’t fit within yours. You will lose yourself if you accommodate this…

I’m just gonna say, shower with him and make sure he does a good job. That’s what I would do. And maybe as time goes by, you guys can get to discuss it without it being anything.

That’s all I got.

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If you can’t talked to him about his hygiene then you should just move on.

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He won’t charge his habits. He’s happy the way he is. Don’t be arrogant to think that he will charge for you. He doesn’t even care for himself. Run towards someone who has the same basic requirements you do. It’s difficult enough without that.

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How old is this guy? As trivial as this seems … I’d not stay in the relationship. It will always be a problem, a fight etc… but first I’d be direct and tell him that he needs to shower more etc… and see how he responds.

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Honest tell him if he wants all this then he needs shower daily he needs to want to and worse get in with him he works 3 jobs must need to wash from sweat talk to him does his son wash?
Is he being like celeb and not washing?

Not bathing is a possible sign of drug/alcohol addiction. His problem is much deeper than just smelling nasty.

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Simple. You get into the shower or tub and invite him in. Sorted. If it doesn’t work, it’s you. !!!

Just bite the bullet and have the talk about it. Be as honest and tactful as u can. If he repects and cares for you at all he will change if not then. You need to decoed if it is deal breaker

What about suggesting a bath night together? a night u set aside each week just u 2 and u can unwind and enjoy each others company? Or a shower? Naked lady in the shower/bath. Bet he couldn’t jump in quick enough. :grin::+1:t3:

What future are you seeing with a “musty” like goat guy? Do you hug him? Does he brush his teeth? Dont watch too many movies of Rambo and desert storm guys. He ain’t them. Keep buying him soap for his birthday…Christmas…valentine’s day…and just any day. That’s your future.:roll_eyes::smiling_face_with_three_hearts::rofl::rofl:

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As a social worker I would suggest you ask him that you need him to be clean and tidy in his appearance ongoing. There is no excuse for poor hygiene in this day and age.

Mental health . This is a red flag. Self care is the first thing to go.
Pop your sneakers on a run away fast lol

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Go find some one new he won’t change and you don’t want to play the mother figure .real men shower and have good hygiene.adult boys do stuff like that .I am divorced from a adult boy who had bad hygiene .

Be honest with him tell him you aren’t stupid. Find out his “why”. Making him tell you his why will force him to address it.

Decide if you can handle his reasoning.

Believe it or not but this is a thing being widely debated lately (frequency of bathing/showering)

Let him go. If you have this problem 6 months into the relationship. Save your breath , you shouldn’t have to tell a grown man to take a shower. Kick

Jump in the shower as well that will get any man in there

See ya . Can you see your self dating that forever

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It sounds like he’s having some type of mental health rut or just feeling overloaded… I wouldn’t try lecturing him but approaching him kindly seems like the best option. Something like “I’ve noticed some inconsistencies with your hygiene and I know you work allot but I was wondering if there’s any other reason you’re having trouble with showering?” If he dodges it I’d mention you’ve caught him sitting with the shower running pretended to shower and put dirty clothes on and then I’d mention that you’re not bringing it up to judge him but if he’s having issues you’re there and willing to help. Taking care of himself physically is a good start to mentally even if it is in minimalist ways at first it could help him feel better in what ever he’s going through with it.
If he has trauma related to it I would suggest trying to get him into therapy if he’s open to it.
If he doesn’t have a reason id just move on cause that’s something you can’t fix you are not his momma…

You could always figure out what his issue with water is and help him with it. Sadly many women today end up doing things for “men” that parents should have done. It may be as simple as noone really made him bathe so he doesn’t know how really and that discomfort turns to anxiety.

I’m sorry but if someone hinted to me that I stink I would immediately take a shower. Sounds like he may have something else going on…. But be an adult and just talk to him about it. If you see a future with this person than don’t beat around the bush. Be blunt :woman_shrugging:t2:

Tell him hes nasty and to shower. Over and over again. Make him smell nasty stuff tell him thats what you smell like. Sit in the shower with him lol or take showers together and get knuckle deep in his man nastiest.

Pour shampoo in his hair them he will have to shower

I don’t want to be anyone’s mother or caregiver and I can’t do stink. Like legit my mans washcloth hangs up for a maximum of 12 hours and I replace it with a new one. :laughing: I would discontinue pursuing a relationship/ future with him but would remain friends. Men are creatures of habit and won’t change unless they want to for themselves and will take permanent corrective actions if they CHOOSE, not because you want him to. Plus, why would you fall for a man just to change him. Either appreciate the stench and lack of grooming/hygiene or get to stepping.

:joy: not gonna lie i had a phase like that when i was about 6/7 years old. Idk just a dirty kid; but he’s a grown ass man. You picked em! says something about your taste :skull:

What man goes out to dinner with sons jogging pants.

Tell him when he takes a real shower every day you will be back. How easy is that ???

Just get the fuck out, My ex was the same and never changed. In the end made me repulsed

Maybe he had a trauma as a child with water?

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This has to be a joke right.
Just say it. Men don’t get hinting, subtrafuge or vagness.
Sounds like depression. If you say flat out what you want and he doesn’t shower and shave then you should be done.

Maybe he doesn’t want to hurt your feelings by breaking up with you and you’re not taking the hint so he thinks you’ll leave when you get tired of his smell. If he had this problem along why would you keep dating him?

Tell him clearly that he has an offensive smell that is not letting his good qualities be recognized.

Sometimes refusal to bath is a sign of sexual abuse as a child. Refusal to be vulnerable. Before you start laying down ultimatums try talking things over.

Suggest showering together…never had issues taking showers but it could be more fun with both of yall

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Yuck… If his hygiene is that bad his down stairs would be horrific. :face_vomiting::face_vomiting::face_vomiting::face_vomiting:

Girl, honestly you waited 6 months to bring this up? Your past the point of being nice about it. Tell him to shower and make a damn effort or leave.
You can’t possibly see a future with someone like this, surely.
His hygiene will make you sick. :face_vomiting:

He’s already lying to you by pretending to shower whilst sitting on toilet. …

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Is he neurodivergent? People with ADHD for example struggle with self care.

How could you see a future with someone that won’t bathe? Ugh

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If he can’t even tell the truth about taking a shower what else is he cool with lying about?

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Could be a mental health issue,but it could also just be that he’s a mucky Mike who won’t bathe. If it’s the latter,cut and run because he won’t change

You see a future with him??? I see the standards have REALLY dropped these days. You see a future with a grown man who fakes taking a shower :thinking::thinking: you go girl!! You do you!! Who tf am I to judge!!!

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You can not change anybody! Only yourself. If you dont like his habits now… just imagine.

Haven’t read it all. Bin him. Get that to fuck. Gads no one effort made at the start either. :nauseated_face::face_vomiting::cheese:

Bad sign. He may be depressed. Many times these habits don’t change. I would say that this would be a game changer for most people.

Does he brush his teeth?

Yeah. Run. Been there it doesn’t change. Run.

Either that try to get him to take responsibility for his mental health but I doubt you will and honestly, you’re not responsible for it if he won’t take it on.

At least consider this could be a trauma responses

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Put seeds on his back and when they sprout, take a picture.

If you really care about him, tell him how you feel. It won’t be easy and he may or may not respond positively.

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Run far surely there are many clean guys out there.

Could he have a phobia of water? Asking for a friend!

Look. You can not change someone. If you don’t like his lack of hygiene get away from him. It will get worse as he becomes more familiar with you.

Eish, he is not hygenic at all, so it is a BIG NO. Why so lazy to shower or bath?

You have to ask this question ? The answer is simple ! You want a clean man then move on !

Sounds like a mental issue that he’s not even trying to deal with. Get out get out as fast as you can.

I dont know how nobody has said this… Ask him to get in the shower with you. I promise he will get in every time.

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What kind of future do you envision with him?

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Why would you want to be with a dirty man?

maybe he has some trauma associated with showering/bathing??

Six months?? My question girl is: “what’s wrong with you?” Why???

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Be open and honest. It’s the only way.

Has he considered getting involved in cheese distribution ?

Offer to have a shower together?

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“Last week I bought him some axe body wash as a surprise.” :joy::joy::joy:

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He may have a fear of water.

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Gross. That would be a deal breaker for me. If he can’t or chooses not to take care of his daily hygiene, what else will he be lax in doing?

He will not change. And you cannot change him. Either accept it or find a new bf

You really like him as a son or what?

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See if he will take a shower with you??

Wait what…you see a future with him?

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Why are you still with him ,knowing that he has a problem with his personal :thinking:hygiene?

You may see a future with him? But are you settling for a 'stinky ’ future? Yuck!

Ewww. How do you engage in intimacy with a unbathed man??

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From this post you shared with us, i can tell you stank too. 6month now and you still cant find a solution🤔? The fact that you allowed his stank habits to continued just states you’re the problem too…