When we first started dating I didn’t know he was seeing another women until recently, and I actually found out he had stood me up to take said other women to Las Vegas to a hotel that his deceased father would take him, that held a lot of meaning to him, he had never taken another women there before, he had planned the trip with me then last minute expressed he wouldn’t have time (his in the army) and had to visit family instead, i completely understand and went ahead as he asked and purchased tickets for universal studios with a time an place to meet, i was waiting 2,6 hours and he was a no show, didn’t answer my texts or calls, he messaged me two days later saying he was with family and had no reception, me being a blind bat believed it thinking why would anyone lie right 
?
Well it turned out he was taking this women to Las Vegas and then spending the weekend with her and her children, something he also said he had never done is met a girlfriend’s children let alone stay in a hotel with them for the weekend,
I completely understand this was sometime ago but I can’t stop being mad at this, it’s ridiculous but his literally never taken me anywhere ever! I pay for all our vacations and hotels and Airbnb’s even when we started dating I flew to his duty station and paid 1500 for the Airbnb, heck I even paid for our wedding, and sold my car so we could afford to visit his mom,
I’m so full of rage towards him, like I know if I had the full picture then I wouldn’t be here now and apart of me isn’t sure I’m happy where I am, I feel like he gave the absolute best of himself to all these other women his ex wife, got hotel stays and a beautiful expensive ring, a wedding that he actually helped plan, and he paid for all her flights,
His ex girl got Las Vegas and spoiled rotten with gifts and experiences,
And me his wife the mother to his only children get treated like I’m a day job, I work Monday to Friday 5am till 7pm am expected to make dinner and lunch and breakfast for him and the kids, plus housework, or he makes comments,
His income is exactly the same as previously, so that’s not the reason
I just don’t know how to not dislike the way he treats me compared to how he treated them it makes me feel like there’s something not good enough with me
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How do I not resent my husband? I'm full of rage toward him - Mamas Uncut
I couldn’t stay after finding that out.
Well he obviously dont love you enough ti pamper you. Your wasting your energy on the wrong man
So this 1 thing that happened years ago is now making you think your not happy
He’s the one who has something wrong Maybe he’d not good enough for you let him pay hos part nobody gets a free lunch talk to Him tell him you expect him to change and that includes a ring trips not to that hotel 
and I’d find out if he’s still in touch with other women
Ur feelings are totally valid… he is a total A-hole
Uh… I would be filing for a divorce.
It’s bad enough he was already not putting forth the effort, leaving YOU to pay/plan time spent together, AND leaving you to do the housework while having a full time job. But to find out you’re receiving the bare minimum while other women got the best of him? No way. That’s bullshit.
A person treats you the way they feel about you!
If yall both said you were exclusive yep be mad…but if it wasnt decided yall were then couldnt be too mad …HOWEVER if he could do it for them he damn sure should do it for you. If you cant get over it then you need to walk away.
You are doing too much. If he doesn’t want to pitch in on vacations and such take the kids and go without him. Leave some of the chores for him to do…when he comments let him know you aren’t there by yourself. And if he keeps treating you like a convenience he is going to be by himself.
U didn’t need us to answer that, u already have & know the answer… Leave & don’t look back
Get him told exactly how your feeling if he loves you he will try to change/sort it out if he doesn’t leave! Your partner is suppose to be the only person to make you feel like your there everything, if he can’t make you feel this way he’s not the one hun xxxxxxxxxxxx
You deserve so much better. I hope you get the courage to leave. You’ll be so much happier 
I wouldn’t just dislike him or resent him. I’d leave his pathetic ass and be done
I think right now is too early to see clearly and working with a therapist is necessary. Not sure you can or should get over it. The military will make sure he pays child care and any alimony. Hire a therapist and an attorney to get the best legal advice and go on a trip with your child.
He’s used you up
It not you it’s him , let him go he’s not worth what he’s putting you through
Sorry, sadly you unwittingly became the better than nothing option, 
Marriage is based on love, respect, trust and both partners should be contributing 100% especially when children are involved. Please don’t devalue yourself because you fell in love with a self centered jerk. If your not happy and he refuses to put in as much effort as you do in your relationship as you do then perhaps you need to make some changes.
Pack his bags and send them to his girlfriends
Men will treat you how you allow them to or for as long as you allow that treatment. Talk to him, tell him how you feel but also have a reasonable way he can now make it right. If he chooses not to discuss it or try and make it right, you decide what you need for you.
Run and don’t look back. Know your worth
I wouldn’t have married someone who did that to me. What were you thinking?
He knows u will deal with it and that’s why he does it leave and show him what it’s like without u sometimes they just need a wake up call to see the stuff they really have
He married you didnt he?
“He gave his absolute best to other women” lord this resonated with me. I feel like everyone else gets the best version of my husband that I would love to have and I get the “real” version and it isn’t great!
Not really sure why you married him in the first place. Then proceeded to have kids with him. Did you honestly think he was going to treat you right after all that?
I feel like most women know when someone is cheating or being less than, but you accept it because you’re afraid to lose them, afraid of losing the life you know. You’re willing to do deal with it as long as he’s willing to stay
If the house is in your name kick him out change the locks throw his things outside he can pick them up or they get thrown away
If it’s in his take the kids and leave
I wouldnt touch him with a ten foot pole after all that… honestly, you’re better off with someone who treats you like he treated that other woman.
The saddest part of a relationship is to being an option
The last choice
Wake up while you’re still young
Good luck to him i know easier said then done as i know its difficult with children involved but hes treating other women well and you like his bit on the side… in the long run you will be happier but it will take time best of luck to you x
You have a right to be upset. I definitely would be upset. Doesn’t matter it was a long time ago, if you just found out, that’s new! What are your options you’re thinking of? I mean are you considering leaving? I just might do that. Totally up to you though.
Buggur that I would be gone sounds like a, waste of time he dosent sound like he cares about how he treats you have u ever even told him any of this
I think you need to sit down and vent to him. You need to tell him exactly how you feel then you might be able to move on
Try therapy to vent these feelings. But his current behavior not helping with the home/kids etc…. You need to decide to keep the manchild or not, seems like you work plenty then do all the home stuff already that you don’t need him. Being treated as disposable is not okay.
Get a lawyer and start divorce proceedings. That’s it.
You’ve let him treat you this way for a long time so he expects you to stay no matter what. You paying for everything and him cheating while you were dating were red flags,marriage and children will not stop that. You need to decide if you want the rest of your life to be this way and if not you need to leave the marriage for your mental and physical health. No matter what you decide please consider seeing a counsellor as it’s not healthy carrying around that anger. 
I would tell him that I needed some alone time to think about things, then book a vacation by myself and leave him to take care of everything. Tell him when you get back you will be ready to discuss your relationship. And use time to really think about things with no distractions.
Girl bye!! Absolutely zero reason to be with this person he doesn’t want what you want apparently
If he wanted too, he would babe.
Oh girl it sucks aye
We teach ppl how they can treat us. Instead of walking away when he stood you up you allowed the behavior. Then you married him. That showed him all he needed to know about the way he could treat you. Your outrage now will do no good. He already knows that you will eventually get over it and everything will continue on in the same manner. You now have 2 choices. You can suck it up and continue on the way you have or leave but, nothing will change unless you change it.
Talk to him. Tell him things change or you are gone. This way at the end of the day the judge will see you went to counseling and tried but if things change you got your husband you deserve.
Maybe you should just get out of the marriage.
I feel like your pretty Valid in your feelings. I’d leave his ass.
Betrayal is betrayal. Doesn’t matter when it happened. You have every right to be angry at him and he owes you time to process this in your way. He doesn’t get to decide to hurt you and also decide how you handle it. Who really does that? It hurts and it doesn’t exclude that you fell in love with him with your honesty and he chose otherwise. Accountability is a hard struggle for cheaters and liars. Don’t make your emotions less to accommodate his emotions. Find a mediator and let him have it. If you don’t get it out now it will continue to build and get worse. 
Yea, I am usually one to say work it out. But this man sounds like a lost cause. Sorry to say, but you married a slime ball
Sounds like he doesn’t care about you to the point of loving you. Doesn’t matter if he’s your husband. He hasn’t done anything for you to make your life easier…like you said you’ve paid for even your wedding. That’s so sad. Sad that you settled for this and sad that he is nothing but a liar and loser. Move on is what you need to do. Because you’ll never get over and forget how he hurt you…sht I know I wouldn’t be able to lay down in a bed with a man that I’m basically taking care of. Nooo way. You are more then wasting your time. Hopefully you’ll wake up before it’s too late.
May sound rough but it looks like you don’t care about yourself. Everyone who gives/sacrifices so much without getting anything in return would be angry eventually.
Learn how to say no, how not to do stuff and demand some me time. Even if you want to stay with him learn how to treat yourself
I’m sorry. But it sounds like you were plan B, and your the one who he knew would take care of him and pay for everything. You were the comfortable option and not the one he really wanted. You’ll need to decide if your happy living like that or I’d its time you left. If your paying for everything anyway there wouldn’t be much change to your lifestyle in that regards
Tell him goodbye…There’s more to life than bein miserable with shitty people…
You need to talk to him and explain how you feel , although with everything about I would of already left him . Marriages are a lot of work and requires both of you to be fully invested . And clearly he doesn’t sound like he’s invested at all . It’s also not setting a great example for your children who see how their daddy treats mom or the how a relationship is supposed to you work .
Beat his ass. Honest too goodness fuck that man. What a dirt bag.
What you allow, is what will continue!! You have enabled this man and he obviously knows it!! Sometimes we have to look in the mirror and make changes for ourselves! I’ve been there and felt this all so well! Pray you make the best decisions for yourself!
It sounds like you were conned into marriage. I’m so sorry
When you are at a 
done you will leave. Self love is very important.find it and u will won’t let anyone walk over you like that.
And your let him plan a vacant for you not him when he ask tell him you are a grown ass man grow up and plan something maybe a spa let him know her better stop up to plate
What YOUR heart say?? because I know you felt something typing all of this🤷🏾♀️
You are worth more than that. You are too good for him
Best thing I can say is don’t suppress how you feel, it only stays with you and that anger comes up later on and you don’t even realise it, and you will become bitter. Let your feelings play out however they need
I literally would write this in a letter and give it or send it to him .
I felt the same in most of my relationships. I put up with it until it was ok to let go. They say a man’s heart is where his money is and I trust that very much.
This says it all.
My ex always used to say I am using you for free sex. I always thought it was more but it never was.
Meanwhile, all the previous girls benefited from him pampering them. Holidays, bills paid for, kids in private schools, yachting.
I left my boyfriend you can read my story and share your opinion I wouldn’t mind. I am upset heartbroken and will not trust any man ever again.
You can either make him pay for it for the rest of ur life 
the guilt trip… or just walk away and be done. All depends on how much you can handle. Good luck xxx
Good Lord you know what to do! Leave him now!! No explanation just go!
Know your worth … move on
Tell him exactly what you just told us … Then go from there.
Leave. You already know. Your worth more.
Get a divorce and move on. The resentment will never fade.
Consider therapy. Together and separately. Regardless of it being a long time ago, it’s fresh information for you and you’re allowed to react.
File for divorce. Hate to say it but just file for divorce. Don’t let him get away with it bc he will then think this is okay and it is not
stop paying for things, why would he pay for things when you do it all the time?
you stated this was all before you were married. Again before you were married, unless I read this wrong, Is he still doing this??? And that fact you know all about this now, If you are asking what we would do, I think you should rethink about what you should do. Yes again if this was all before you guys were married, it was still wrong, If this is still pissing you off, & you can’t get over it…leave, It seems like you are making enough to support yourself, there really is no problem
Your being played and it’s looks like to me your dumb enough to go along with it so it’s as much your fault for putting up with it
Sounds like he is just using you. Leave him, you deserve better!
You don’t need him. As you are a hard worker and can provide for your kids.
He needs to do the same and have his own place for his kids.
Less stress. I rather not fight something that isn’t worth fighting for if the other person doesn’t see me as for what I am worth.
He definitely takes you for granted and you need to put your foot down.
If a man wants to, he will. Don’t settle and stop accepting the bare minimum from men.
You work 14 hours a day and are still expected to cook and clean?
He thinks he is not good enough for you, he thinks you can do better. So he makes you prove you love him. The problem is he isn’t good enough for you.
Trust and love go hand in hand for me. I would walk away. He wouldn’t like having that done to him, or else he would have been honest about it, in my opinion.
You sound like a bitter jealous gold digger
Why would you think there is something wrong with your response to His being a jerk. You have every right to be pissed. You deserve a lot better than you are getting.
Drop his ass like a hot potato
Don’t resent him, leave him. Regardless of who he is why he is doing this, you are clearly not happy. Everyone deserves to be appreciated.
A person will only do to you what you let them . Change what you do for him
Sometimes in life you just have to say that’s enough and move on with your life. You seem to be independent so no reason to delay…
Divorce him. He lied then and you were sadly blind. People don’t change.
Have you tried talking to him?
I would talk it out in marriage counseling but honestly I’d probably file for divorce. Still go to counseling though to help make the process less messy for the kids, but that’s a huge lie and you said it yourself had you known you wouldn’t have married him.
Sounds like a APD individual living a double life. Get rid of him.
You should leave - he’s taking advantage of you and obviously thinks you’re a doormat. If he DOES love you, he’ll realize it once you’re gone but to treat other women better and you like a slave, it proves where you stand with him. There’s someone out there who will treat you well like you deserve.
Why are you staying? Remember this “you deserve what you tolerate”. You’re letting him do all these bad things to you… Learn to love and respect yourself.
Leave now he has no commitment to you
You arw his sugar mama
Are we all going to keep focusing on the housework or is anyone going to mention the fact that she said he’s already seeing another woman and he took the other woman to vegas? That alone is enough. Leave him.
DIVORCE
THROW THAT MAN AWAY
forget the past. He ain’t no husband. He’s a bum.
Just freaking leave.
Don’t be a fool any longer. He’s freeloading and you are letting him!
You already know the answer, sis. That shit is unacceptable.
That’s adultery, and the military doesn’t put up with it. He can get into a lot of trouble and possibly discharged for it. But I would definitely leave, he sounds like a tool. Kick em to the curb.
I’m sorry, but you could sew a king-sized quilt with all those red flags.
You’re asking a question you already have the answer to.