How can you go without talking to your mom? Bcuz that’s what’s going to happen
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All these women saying don’t tell her are baffling me. If you know someone is getting cheated on, tell them! That’s so fucked up. If I was being cheated on I’d want to know. So tell her.
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Cheating for 25 years?? All parties must be content with how this is going obviously it is working. And if you have know about it all along you are just as guilty as the other three. Stay in your lane and mind your business. If your mom has been doing this with him for 25 years she must be happy with the arrangement so mind your business. If you don’t like it anymore stay away from it. That simple!!
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You keep your nose out of it if you want to keep a relationship with your mother. Right or wrong saying anything will damage your relationship with your mother and you only have one mom.
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You don’t… why on earth would you do that!
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Mind your business…u have to be a miserable a$$ person to want to tell on your mom…LAWD!!
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Im thinking shes gotta be more like 16… -ish… Cause this whole… “unhappily married couple/parents of 50yrs type thing” is allllll still new to her… For the most part, unhappy people only stay together for their kids… Kids like her lmfao Her brain hasnt grown enough too make life or death decisions… One day she’l understand perfectly! 
After 25 years, she knows sis
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Some of you are dumb. If you know then tell her no matter how mad she may get. You don’t just ignore it and not say a thing that’s horrible there’s people who would do that
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Have you proof ready. That’s #1
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25 years!? How embarrassing… I would want to know.
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You don’t. Both women may know. You can’t be that stupid for 25 years. Mind your business. You momma gunna lose her meat and be mad at you. You talk to your mom about your concerns. That’s just messy.
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Let me just say this. If my husband was cheating on me and someone else knew about it, I’d want to know. I wouldn’t want to stay married to a person who has so little regard and respect for me as not only a person, but also thier life partner. Don’t do the same to her
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Tell her. If ya momma gets mad then oh well. If she gets her tail beat help her up afterwards and tell her that’s what she gets for messing with a married man.
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If you have proof send it to her. Be prepared that your mom might not forgive easily. Its the right thing to do. But are you sure that the wife doesn’t know after all these years?
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You don’t. Mind you’re own business. Number one if he’s been cheating that long she knows or doesn’t care.
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You’d do that to your mom? The guy is probably your dad anyway. Worry about yourself!
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Im guna go out on a limb and say after 25 years, she already knows.
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I’m gonna bet she knows.
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Ya’ll are fucked up for telling her to keep it a secret?! That’s disturbing as hell. What happened to morals and boundaries? Obviously her mother didn’t hide it very well if her daughter knows! She’s setting an example for her daughter that cheating is ok…You’d be surprised how many people go years with cheating and their significant other has no idea, it’s truly sad. Think about the other woman- she deserves better.
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You don’t. you invite that man’s wife over to your moms house for dinner. Tell your mom it’s a friend and Make sure she brings her husband
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I would want to know if I was being cheated on, his wife should have been told a long time ago. I feel it’s our duty as women to have each other’s backs and if I knew someone was cheating on their significant other I would say something.
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You don’t, your hood intentions could backfire in so many ways
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Send it in a letter with no return address.
Just tell her straight up
Tell her! Get her number and call. She deserves to know!
You’re just as guilty if you know and don’t tell her
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Do you feel that you should ? What do you feel instinctively … if you ask a hundred people you will get all different answers , as on here … some say definitely don’t some say definitely do and everything in between . Only you know the full story . Remember you are the one who has to live with yourself either way . Do what you feel is the right thing … also are you 100% sure . Hope you can figure out the best course of action
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Send her proof 
if my husband was cheating on me and people KNOWINGLY kept it from me EVERYBODY would get taken out:smiling_face:
if you were being cheated on- wouldnt you wanna know?
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If my husband was cheating on me, no matter how long it’s been, I would 100% want to know. I feel I would deserve to know, and everyone that knew would owe me the truth.
I love me husband beyond belief, so of course the knowledge would hurt me, but it’s still necessary, and I’d be forever grateful to whomever made me aware.
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Oh dear 
what are your intentions of telling this woman? 25 years is a long time, why do you want to say something now? Im not saying you shouldn’t tell but only if your intentions are pure because if you’re going to shatter someone’s reality it shouldn’t be because you’re mad. We need more context to this.
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Soooo…for all of you saying not to tell, does that mean you are ok with cheating? Are you ok with not being told if your husband was cheating?
I commend this person for having morales and wanting to do save the dignity of someone else. OP, you are a rare find these days. Do what you feel led to do. Being decent isn’t always the popular idea(as you can see) but it’s usually the best thing to do.
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25 yrs?!? Oh she knows already.
That’s like a double life ,that’s beyond cheating my friend. lol wow.
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More than likely she knows and has her reasons for dealing with it. This coming from that person who was in those shoes at one point. In her own time, she will handle the situation.
Pull a jwoww and Snooki, and not for nothing , and damn has your mom known he was married for the last 25 yrs ?
Id be straight up honest with her
After 25 years, she knows… She is choosing to turn a blind eye. You will just end up embarrassing all involved.
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25 years… you drive to her house and you tell her face to face. Because she deserves the truth face to face not any other way…
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Just tell her but make sure you can provide reasonable proof. Be prepared to bear the brunt of her initial reaction if she doesn’t already know. Nobody likes to hear this type of information, she may lash out at you initially.
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Why on her earth would you choose now to tell her when you’ve had 25 years to do so… you’re just as bad as him, for knowing all this time and not saying anything
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If you know this info there is a woman code. Women stick together no matter what. U tell the truth cuz u would want to know the same exact things. Woman code!
Lots of proof. 25 years is long. Get ahold of her and ask to speak in person. Show all of it. Then just be there for her. She will probably be mad at you which is normal.
At that point you dont
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Screenshots, or just flat contact her. No one deserves that. Part of what’s wrong with society is that people aren’t willing to hold items accountable. We protect bad people.
There has to be evidence after 25 years. That poor woman doesn’t deserve that at all.
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Don’t believe the wife of the cheater has no idea. She either doesn’t give a rats ass or has decided to ignore it…
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You absolutely tell her. She doesn’t need to believe you. She may be angry. Or say something out of hurt.
We need to look out for each other.
Ignorance is bliss but knowledge is power.
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You mad at your mama?
Uhm… not to sound mean but maybe your mom should tell her, after all she’s the home wrecker.
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You straight up tell her, that’s fucked up
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I also know of a beautiful lady whose husband is having an affair with her “best” friend. Also have the urge telling her but how?? Its not my business though but i feel like if women dont have each others backs some men is just going to keep on doing what they do, cheat!!
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Ask yourself this. If your significant other was cheating on you wouldn’t you want to know? I know I sure would and if she’s staying with her husband and knows he’s cheating her self esteem must be super low
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Ummmm after 25 years she dont know?
I find that rather odd…but with that said I’d tell her!! There is no easy way!
I hate a cheater! And shame on ur mom for being the other woman! Smh
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I would call the mother and that husband out.
She probably already knows!
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Oh snap … Mama done pissed her daughter off… y’all watch out and sit back and get popcorn ready… We’re going to need a play by play or video of what’s happening please… us in texas ain’t got nothing to do …
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Tell ur mom to deal with it… it’s not your concern ?
And it’s possible that he is your father😲. How old are you?
25 years? Baby she knows
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She knows, think about all of the kids, talk to your mom.
Ok… here’s what I know… you can tell her… but what she does and how she will react may not be what you expected. Be prepared for backlash or to be the one she wants answers from. I’ve been in the position of telling someone, she chose to believe him and also stay with him. And why after 25 years you want to say something?
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I’m sure she knows, and if she doesnt shes dur haha
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Let her know. Like others said, I’ve been cheated on and wish someone would have told me. I didnt find out until after I was already pregnant. 
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Just rip that bandaid off
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I tell her just hope for the best sorry your going through this
Send an anonymous letter explaining in detail so there is no denial. I know a woman that had no idea her husband had an affair for 30+ years and they were very happily married … she didn’t know anything until he passed away and the mistress arrived at his funeral to tell the wife. It was very sad.
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You tell her exactly what you know. End of story.
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Lena Rojas im shook at all of these “you dont” responses
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For everybody saying not to tell her: you clearly haven’t been cheated on before. If you’d know how it feels you would know you wanted to DIE to find out sooner than later! TELL HER! Poor woman could already be making wiser and better decisions- what you waiting for ??!
I always feel like if somebody knows and doesn’t tell is lying too and helping the cheater. That’s ugly.
It’s your duty as a woman to support other women. Not her cheating husband.
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Where is the SICK emoji???
A lot of assumptions here that she must already know. That may not be the case, I’ve know people to find out 20 years later that their partner lived a double life, including have 2 sets of children and neither knew about each other. Just tell her, please
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I’m of the nature it’s best to mind yourself. Doesn’t involve you. I know some will disagree, but that’s my opinion.
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She very well may rather live in ignorance…maybe she can’t afford to be on her own or take care of herself…there’s so many possibilities…if you have a problem with it, maybe you should confront your mother and her “man” and tell them how this is making you feel.
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Every human being deserves to know the truth…The truth will set you free… she has a right not to spend her time & energy on this pig who has betrayed her for so long…
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Be honest. Present proof if you have it. Honestly though … it needs to come from your mother. Either way, complete transparency and with love is the way to approach it.
And since I’m here commenting, any woman who would advise you not to tell her is JUST as slimy as the man and the mistress.
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Exactly like that!
25 years wow.
All you can give is information
What they choose to do with that information is upto them.
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Tell her! Just rip the bandaid off, good luck post updates lol
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With proof,in person in a private location and bring a good divorce lawyers business card *incase she chooses that route *.Comfort her, remind her she is still valuable and that you support whatever her decision she decides for herself without judgement.
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How do you know it’sfor 25 years? Are you the product of the affair? Is there medical issues involved?
Please be aware that your " duty " to inform might not. be necessary. She and he might have an open marriage. Ask him!!! Informing will hurt ALL involved: their kids, you and your siblings, both sets of adults. Be very AWARE of the consequences before you open the can of worms up!!
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I found out for myself but if I hadn’t and someone else knew then I would have wanted to know
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If it’s been going 25 years she probably already knows
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I had a cheating husband and I hated having other women tell me that. It wasn’t their business, most I think did it to start drama. But now I just leave it alone and the truth will come out eventually 
not my monkey, not my circus.
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Easy mind ya business
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Why bother if you’ve known for 25 years at this point your just as bad
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I had a cheating despicable
spouse in the past. I wouldn’t have minded someone anyone who had facts together to tell me. It would have been better than me driving myself crazy trying to investigate what my intuition was telling me(but I never found solid evidence on) It also would have possibly saved me from having to go to therapy for years to heal emotionally and mentally from all the gaslighting and narcissistic behavior I endured before finally coming to my senses and leaving for good!!
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If he is cheating with your mom what is your motive to tell? Is it bc you are hurt in some way by this? I dont think you should tell bc you have a direct connection to the two and will be seen as the bad guy. Also it isnt your place. It will come out in time it always does. I doubt she doesnt already know and you could be making her relive a painful thing all over again for no reason
Just tell her!!! People don’t want to believe thier loved one’s are doing wrong or they just believe they too good their partner would NEVER!!! Some know and let it slide especially in older relationships… One lady I know said she knew already but they had been together for so long that she couldn’t see herself starting over with someone new… If you know my man is cheating and i haven’t found out yet feel free to tell me!!! I’m good at finding out on my own though but I’d still appreciate it especially if it’s FACT and not speculation… I’d be MAD ig not cause I know if one person knows multiple people probably already know and I’m not trying to be the stupid one sitting at home cooking cleaning and taking care of kids while he’s out with other females!!! But really 25 years??? How would you not know/hear by now???
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Maybe she just found out her mother has been doing this. People are good at hiding things they wanna hide. Shes trying to do the right thing, obviously telling someone that her husband is cheating with her own mother. Shes not just as bad if she didnt know, and none of you know if she did. If anyone needs taught about respect its all you acting as if you know this entire story and are being rude. Nobody even knows the entire story to this, so I dont know why everyone has to jump to conclusions and act like assholes to someone. Everyone ought to put something on here, and not explain, and see how you all like to be judged. She asked a question. She didnt ask to be ridiculed, and certainly didnt ask for any of your rude ass comments. If youre just going to be that way im not sure why youre on this page, other than just to make people feel worse than they already do and be judgemental. So kind of you to all think youre so perfect. 
I would tell the woman. Everyone has the right to know whats going on behind their backs. She may or may not believe you, but you are doing the right thing by letting her know. I would tell her that you’re sorry your mother is doing this to her but you thought she should know. And I would not leave this woman wondering and questioning herself, so if you have proof i would show her. Shes already probably going to be devastated if shes just now finding this out. And she will question if youre being honest with her. Wish you luck.
I would some how get poof to her ( pics ) of husband and mistress, put in envelope, and put on the the door step when i it’s wife only home. Or if she works take there. 
Personally if it were ME, I would want to know but if you goin tell me shit about my significant other you better have proof. If not keep your trap shut 
But it’s not my business what a man does to his wife. It’s not my problem, I wouldn’t say anything
Not your beeswax girl.
I was cheated on during my first marriage that only lasted 3 years his father who I was helping take care of while he was cheating on me and lived with us finally told me. I knew I think before but didnt want to know. I was grateful when he told me cause now I had a valid reason to leave a bad marriage.
All of you saying ‘YOU DONT!’ ‘MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS’ ‘ITS YOUR MOM’ wtf?? Either you have all cheated or have been cheated on and didnt want to tell them or someone had told you and you wish they didn’t? It takes TWO to tango, so as far as im concerned, im sure your mom has known about his wife, and that makes her just as low if ya ask me! TELL HER! Or you’ll probably wish you did … I’d rather tell her than it eat me away!
This has personally happened to me where i was with someone for 5 years but someone was also with him for 3 years. I left his ass so fast! All my ‘friends’ knew too! Its heartbreaking sitiation to go through. Once a cheater, always a cheater!!! Temptations are their weaknesses. And by the sounds of it, maybe your mom isnt his only side piece?
Tell her. Just straight up and honest tell her. 5 seconds or 25 years I would want to know. I would make sure you have proof though.
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send a picture of them to her
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One of the worst decisions i ever made was not to tell a friend that her husband made front page news busted at a whore house. His name and address so no doubt it was him. Folks i worked with made me promise to stf up. I am normally stronger than that but the hurt we inflected on her by our silence was unbearable. No apology was good enough. SPEAK UP
Wow 25 years! I would of been wanted to know!
Won’t be easy, but I would want to know the truth!
You dont tell her because its none of ur business. Most likely she already knows he is a cheater.
If you’re going to tell you probably shouldn’t wait 25 years…