How do you cope with your boyfriend leaving for work?

So, my boyfriend and I haven’t been apart for longer than one night since we started dating four years ago. We have a 2-year-old together, and he’s only been away for one night since he was born… my boyfriend has to leave this week for 2 MONTHS for work!! I’ve been crying off and on since we found out that’s how long the job was. I’m just wondering if any of you are in similar situations, how do you cope with being away from each other that long? And how does your little one cope? I’m so anxious and sad thinking about it being just us for that long and how hard it’s going to be for my son, who won’t fully understand why daddy is gone that long

91 Likes

Find a hobby, lean on friends/family, find yourself and who you truly are. Distance isn’t a bad thing.

I did that with my current boyfriend, he moved away to college and I was devastated.
For me, he surprised me with a promise ring before he left, just to tell me he still loves me even though he’s moving away. We talked everyday and FaceTimed often. I wrote out envelopes that said “open when you’re sad” or “open when you miss me” and wrote him letters and printed out my favorite photos of us. It was something for him to open that I had handwritten. I also printed out wallet sized photos of me (his favorites) to keep in his wallet. That way he could look at it and see the photo of me, knowing he’s dealt with my and my troubles, so he can handle anything.
You can always give him a blanket to take with him that smells like home, or even a framed photo. Constant communication and reassurance is what got me through it for about 2 years, only seeing each other every few weeks for 2 days.

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How do you cope with your boyfriend leaving for work?

I don’t have any personal experience with this, but I would just make sure you video chat as often as possible. So he hears daddy’s voice calling his name. Get a little teddy that records. Its going to seem like a long time but it will fly by. Keep yourself busy. Take lots of videos of your son and send them to him.

Just think that in that time frame, he will be home with you and yalls son.

My husband leaves for 28 days and is home for 14… He calls me every day and video chats with me at night

Long distance relationships are hard, I find that keeping myself distracted works. Maybe you and your little one could work on a surprise for when daddy comes home. That way you’ll keep yourself busy and you and the little one could make something for him for when he returns :relaxed:

5 Likes

Go with him! If it’s going to be this way, buy a RV. Or rent, I’m sure he is getting per diem, right?

2 Likes

Just video chat when you can and communicate it will be rough for sure but you can do it couples stay away a lot longer then two months all the time if it’s built on a strong foundation y’all will be fine absence makes the heart grow fonder I’ve always been told

When my now husband and I started dating he went on deployment for 9 months. It would be weeks between calls / emails. Then we got married I got pregnant and he got deployed again! Our daughter was born and he didn’t meet her until she was 3 months old!

It’s all hard but very doable! Keep yourself busy! If he’s just going to work in another state you can text / video chat regularly! Open lines of communication is KEY!

3 Likes

My fiancé worked out of state for the first year and half of our sons life it was hard but communication is key. Talk a little bit in the morning and a little bit after he’s off. Keep yourself busy when little guys in bed find a hobby or a good long show to binge watch. Little ones only two he might look for dad and ask for him just tell him daddies working and he’ll see him soon also video chat with dad before bed if possible for good nights and keep him busy during the day so he’s not upset do fun activities and arts and crafts it’ll help. Best of luck mama I know it’s hard but keep your head up I know it seems like a long time but it’ll go by fast has long has you keep busy and don’t focus on it. I slept on the couch for the first few months my fiancé was out of state and that helped my anxiety too.

I’m just about to get my partner back after he left for 2 months for work and all I can say is I totally understand your upset but Skype facetime lots of video chats we video chat at least once a day if I can’t sleep we go to sleep together on video chat same for your son lots and lots of video chats and maybe a fun game counting down the time when daddy will be home… I’ll find it goes very fast and you won’t be expecting it too

Why can’t you visit on weekends…

Maybe put exactly enough kisses in a jar till the night he comes home… and every night after dinner give dad a call and get a kiss every night…and tell your son… when the jar runs out of kisses daddy will be home

married a trucker when kids where small lucky to see him for breakfast or supper 2 nights a week. just something you get use too

2 Likes

Mine used to travel for work as a logistics driver he had never been gone that long but sometimes 3 weeks at a time and I will say the 1st day will be the worst it will start to get better day by day lots of facetimes and txts Ik he will prob be busy so keep that in mind when it comes to response times but it will go fast good luck mama

Video chat as much as you can

My husband when we’re dating went and joined the Air Force and was gone for nine months. It was tough but we talked any time he was free and Skyped called a lot. I got to visit once in that time frame. You have to keep yourself busy and spent time with friends when I could and I starting running. By the time he came home we were in good shape. I’ve always worked and gone to school so I was pretty busy with kids stuff and normal day to day life it went by really fast. You will survive it just takes work to keep in contact and let each other know how you miss and care for them.

1 Like

always get him to call video or use zoom ,while yur child is awake and

Suck it up cupcake!!

2 Likes

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How do you cope with your boyfriend leaving for work?

1 Like

Keep busy with your career. Set goals to meet while they’re gone. Plan fun things to do. Schedule in some FaceTime meets with each other.

3 Likes

Your child will follow your lead. Hold it together and stay busy. If you make a big fuss while your boyfriend is leaving or show separation anxiety, your 2 year old will pick up on that. Military wife’s have to go through this, sometimes up to a year or more

5 Likes

Phone calls, text, facetime… Keep yourself as busy as you can…

2 Likes

I deal with this every week and I honestly had the hardest time in the beginning I couldn’t sleep. Now it’s nothing lol we FaceTime while he’s gone and it helps and the time apart makes the time whenever he’s home so much better.

3 Likes

My husband works for the railroad. When he first started training I only saw him twice a month for ~9 months. After about 7 years now I still don’t see him often because of his long work schedule. Just have to learn to be independent and find something to keep you busy. I have five animals so I can’t address the kid part. But you kind of have to learn to be on your own with certain situations.

Also, if your able take mini vacation to go and see your boyfriend. FaceTime, text, get a hobby if you don’t a career of your own.

1 Like

I am gonna b blunt here…if u have no trust issues then throw that away. As far as being apart for a while there is phone calls and facetime and stuff. It will b hard af but it will work out

2 Likes

We’re a military family so being separated is an all too familiar situation. Our twins were only 3 weeks old when he had to leave for 30 days of training. Then a month prior to their 1st birthday he left for Korea for 9 months. Skype or FaceTime is a wonderful thing…utilize it frequently. Guessing his work is not military related so communication shouldn’t be a problem. Keep busy with your child…play dates, visit family. I promise the time will fly by!!

You just do… it’s not easy… you’r little one will be fine if you are… we did it for 16 years with 3 children and this was before the cell phone… talked to him on Wednesday evenings… it will take some getting use to… prayers for strength!!!

2 Likes

be gratefull he’s going to work and not to fight. grow up babe that’s life

10 Likes

It’s an adjustment you’ll make nicely, keep the lines of communication open

2 Likes

Make friends and go out with them. Invest in yourself. Get some hobbies, do outings with your little. And get ya something from adam and eve to pass the time.:blush: you’ll be okay

3 Likes

My sons dad left for a few years. You’ll be fine.

Try looking at the Blessing is he’s coming home to you . He’s not leaving you to be with a side chick. Put your big girl panties on and learn how to help your child deal with daddy’s temporary absence. Learn to be what your husband and child needs you to be in his absence.
In other words Grow the hell up!!!

4 Likes

Some mean comments here. It’s okay and natural for you and your little one to miss him. It’s okay to cry. You teach your little one that feelings are okay to feel and express. Find fun things to do together while he is gone. See if there is a new hobby you might like to try out. I love baking, painting, and writing. Maybe you would enjoy biking riding with your little one. You can by a carrier for your bike if you want. Look into library programs. They are free. You can have contact with him, which is good. It will go by fast if you have fun and interesting things to fill the time. Sending you both big hugs.

Ladies and gentlemen i know I’m not supposed to drop this here but i don’t know whose marriage/relationship will be restored after reading this. I want to let everyone know how my marriage was restored with the help of Dr. Victoria. I was going through comments on Facebook when i read someone testifying also about getting help from Dr. Victoria. Thought it was a scam but at this point i was almost losing my marriage. After consulting Dr. Victoria, my marriage was restored and today i have never regretted meeting Dr. Victoria. You want your marriage to be restored? Contact her on WhatsApp:+2349020104952 or email her : [email protected]

It is hard, but from experience just keep busy, phone calls, video chat also help. Remember, it will be hard on you, but harder on him…he will be away from everyone he loves, in a town that he isn’t familiar with and sleeping somewhere that isn’t home…he will need you to be strong for him.

2 Likes

Husbands on his 9th deployment…a year each time. I miss him BUT I’m whole by myself. He’s the cherry on top. I work, I do things with the kids, have a few girlfriends. And I find one new thing to learn. 2017 I dived. This time kickboxing

6 Likes

It’s 8 weeks not that long people go lot longer without seeing their partners. Kids adjust better than you think they do. It’s great to see a guy willing to work away to provide for his family.

I am a ex military wife and went thru it alot right now what u r experiencing is normal everything seems so over whelming. But once he’s gone u just go on with things, your little one will keep u busy for sure and every night it’s another day gone another to follow just try and keep yourself busy as.much as u can you’ll be fine my dear

For the ones telling her to Grow up. You don’t know her back story. Woman that have been abused and or abandon and their man was and is their safe haven get really attached really easily, I’m not saying it’s a good thing but geez some people can’t help it so telling her to grow up isn’t helping her. You’re just sounding like an old witch. Maybe next time when you guys need help you should just grow up and deal on your own.

11 Likes

I completely understand your anxious and nervous as this is the longest you’ve gone with out going to see him. You are best off having one last decent family night together before he goes to work :heart: it makes it a tad easier as you have another fresh happy memory. 1st off think of some positive things you’ve been wanting to do but haven’t been able to do (decorating changing the livungroom or bedroom etc) go on day’s out with your little one join mommy groups (just to break up your day) find something todo so you both have something different and positive to talk about each day. Take advantage of you bed we all know men take up most of the bed right :rofl: try not to over think and keep positive knowing he is going to work to provide for his family :heart: maybe do something for yourself have abit of a make over to help you along the way do some activities book club have some girls over for a girly night. Join the gym or get some gym equipment, yoga, meditation (this will help you sleep) stay positive and know it isn’t forever. Before he goes take a recent family photo :heart: before you know it the day’s will fly by and he will be home the first few nights are the worse but you will soon more or less get use to it :heart: chin up beauty and know he will be home in no time :heart: xx

1 Like

U can’t see each other on the weekends ?

My husband was in the reserves for 12 years and would go away for 3 weeks every year. We would text, call, video chat. We kept busy, It gets easier. You’ll be fine.

I hate the “grow up, that’s life” responses. Not everyone processes and feels the same about being separated for any reason. My advice is to give yourself a purpose everyday. Today, I am going to fold xx loads of laundry. Tomorrow, I am going to clean the ceiling fans and base boards. Wednesday, I’m going to watch trashy tv for 3 hours. Give yourself tasks no matter how small they seem and get them done. It’s okay to feel sad about him being gone.

pre-recorded videos for bubs at day and night. lots of tecting and figure put when good to call and catch up with him after he finishes work during the day etc. smelly shirt as a pillow cover for you and bubs. when you have hard days. lots of family photos prior to leaving and make some plans for family and couple time after he finishes tge work in 2 months. havibg something to work towards helps on rough days. text daily on what you been doing that day also help you cope so they dont feel left out when they come home.

1 Like

2 months is nothing. Grow up and deal with it. Military wife’s have to do it all the time. If he were leaving you for another woman that would be one thing, but he is just going to be working.

4 Likes

I have been dealing with this for about 20 years and it still isn’t easy… especially if you don’t work and stay home and take care of the kids… but as ur child gets bigger it does get easier… hang in there and u soon be able to cope with it

3 Likes

Lots of video calls for the little one going through that now

2 Likes

U will be fine and will get tru it , it will be hard at first but you can still both stay in contact thru phone etc, u have a 2 year old who will keep u busy anyway , best of luck just try to keep your mind occupied stay in touch with all your friends etc, xxx

1 Like

Why don’t you go with him? That’s what I did.

There’s more things in life to worry about

It’s hard , I definitely understand. My husband is a truck driver and he’s away alot. Find some things to do to keep ya busy . FaceTime is a great way to keep in touch . You’ll be okay .

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How do you cope with your boyfriend leaving for work?

It was hard for me the first week then you get use to it, take care of you and that baby FaceTime and talk as much as possible!!! Stay positive never think negative it will only make it harder!! Understand he will be coming home to y’all soon!

3 Likes

FaceTime. My husband wasn’t away for that long, but FaceTime was a lifesaver so our daughter could still see him and talk to him everyday.

1 Like

Clare Whayman any advice? Cause you have to deal with this stuff when I go away for work…

Get your self a hobby :blush: will help keep you distracted

4 Likes

My husband is leaving for his first 6 month deployment in August. Just gonna have to take each day one at a time. I don’t even know how often we’ll be able to talk to each other while he’s gone. My 7yo understands what’s going to happen, but our 3yo probably won’t and she’s really attached to her daddy. That’s gonna be a pretty big obstacle. But, just one day at a time is all you can do.

2 Likes

Therapy. If you’re this codependent, you’re going to need it

24 Likes

Be thankful he is small and won’t know what is going on. My husband leaves usually in June and doesn’t return till September. He comes home weekends though. My kids are 13 and 7 and it’s worse.

Video. My husband left for deployment 2 days after our 2nd daughter was born and we also have a 2 year old. He’s been gone since January it’s been rough but the girls know who he is, including our youngest since we video as much as possible

4 Likes

Invest in a really good vibrator :ok_hand:

17 Likes

My husband is military. Be thankful yours will only be gone for 2 months instead of 9 months to a year. You just cope. Find things to do on your own. Be you. FaceTime frequently. Enjoy the alone time.

7 Likes

Hope he never joins the military. 2 months is nothing.

5 Likes

Well, I watched my mom be away from my step dad for 6 years (this is not including basic training) … she did pretty good. But, the year is 2021, there is FaceTime, there are planes, etc. Not trying to be rude, but just try to imagine the women who’s husbands are serving our country & they BARELY get to talk to them.

3 Likes

Have him record videos on your phone so you can play them in any instance where daddy’s voice would sooth my kids had a video they watched 1000xs a day of daddy saying goodnight

6 Likes

That does not sound healthy at all, it’s called codependency, you should be able to function normally with or without him, I’m not saying don’t miss him, but really, therapy would be great for you

10 Likes

I have a 2 and a 3yr old. My hubby sometimes goes out of town 4 work mon-fri and is home the weekend. It took my babies awhile 2 get used 2. I’m not saying its all sunshine and rainbows. Anytime hubby even goes 2 the bathroom, goes outside, etc when he’s home, my 3yr old automatically thinks he’s gone 2 work again… its hard some days. I’m lucky 2 have my family as a support system right in my town. My mom watches the babies once a week so I myself can have some relax time without having 2 worry bout them. Trust me. So important 2 have that time especially when ur man is gone. And we do video chats and say goodnite every nite. And routine is key!!! U don’t have 2 have everything planned down 2 the minute, but try 2 do the same things in order everyday so the child knows what 2 expect. And it don’t matter how old they r. They will feel security in knowing when things will happen. Just little tid bits of advice. Its hard but getting things in order and staying in contact via phone or video or whatever shud help immensely. Itsll take awhile for that routine 2 get down but I promise its so worth it.

3 Likes

I believe she asked for advice or helpful words, not to be told your husbands have left for longer :roll_eyes:

It will be hard at first, but it will get easier. Like everyone else said, FaceTime, his T-shirt soaked in his cologne was always helpful on those hard nights. Give your baby extra loves and just tell him daddy loves him, he’ll be back home soon. Take it day by day and before you know it, it will be time for him to come home.

33 Likes

Oh girl noooo that’s just unhealthy

7 Likes

Face time, so the kids can see and speak with him.

WHY r people laughing at this? This aint no joke. This shit is haaaaaaarrd. :face_with_raised_eyebrow:

Facetime as much as you can. Those 2 months will fly by.

Im so sorry. I had to let my kids dad go when our son was about 6 months old. Thankfully he came back way sooner than we thought. He was trying to build us a better life and i stayed for our sons cardiology appointment. We talked daily video calls and stuff. Even at 6 months old it was hard on our son. Keep your baby busy. Dont stress to much. I know when he got back i ended up pregnant again with our daughter. We ended up married 5 yrs later.

Me and my husband have been married for 19 years and we were inseparable in the beginning we were high school sweethearts we got married young. He was in the military and when our oldest two were really young he did an 18 month deployment. It was hard but my piece of advice is fine a hobby find something you enjoy doing. Make sure that you stay connected with your friends they may not understand what you’re going through but hang out with them don’t just sit at home.

2 Likes

Y’all saying “be thankful it’s only 2 months” are so annoying. Quit invalidating people’s feelings :weary: this would be hard on me & my 2 year old as well.

34 Likes

This girl is asking for advice and ya’ll are actually being pretty brutal. No one cares about your husband or whoever being in the military, because her situation is not the same as yours you cannot compare it. Instead of telling her to appreciate what she’s got and to stop complaining maybe give her some kind advice that actually does something instead of buck up and shut up basically? I thought this was supportive group but these comments are super cringey

33 Likes

My fiancé works where he has to go out of town sometimes for a month or two. It was super hard at first. I was super angry bc he was leaving and we fought a lot. We also have three kids together 12, 7 and 5. Once I started looking at it from a different perspective and learned to be his peace and realized he has to miss out on so much so that I don’t have to, it got way better. I also suggest not making a huge deal about him leaving to your child bc once I stopped doing that it got easier for my kids too. If they see mommy happy it tends to be contagious. Use it as a time to find independence and build a strong bond w your child. Also, absence makes the heart grow fonder. When he’s here, I never get tired of him bc I’m so happy to be around him. Just try to look at it positively. You’ll be able to just focus on your child and that is awesome!

3 Likes

Maybe you can go visit him for a weekend during the 2 months. Use facetime so you can see each other and talk. It’s the summer start making plans with you and your daughter or friends .

1 Like

You will get through it ! My husband was deployed for 8 month and it was hard, we chatted (communication is key) almost every night, video and he did a video for each of the children when he left. Let me just say it was easy I cried at time I leaned on God a lot for strength to get through those month as well as underways etc. stay strong it will fly quickly don’t let your emotions get the best of you

Me thankful he not military. Military spouse is so hard.

1 Like

Seriously, quit being ignorant, or better yet, go back to grade school when you were taught if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all!! S
She is asking for advice, not criticism, her feelings matter!! Kudos to you and your man for being so in love!! Nowadays, that’s impossible to find!! Honestly, I am SO thankful for technology that we are better able to communicate with our loved ones!! You’ll be in my thoughts while you and your little one are away from the love of your life!!

14 Likes

If he were being deployed for 12-18 months, what would you do?? Like a military wife you carry on. Do what you need to do everyday and keep yourself busy at night. Talk on the phone and let the little one hear daddy’s voice too. You can do this. A lot of us have had to do this. It won’t kill you, it will make you stronger!!

4 Likes

Be around family and friends. Find a hobby. Even if it’s reorganizing your whole house. Find things to do. Stay in communication if possible.

I’m used to my husband being away and I was also away in the oilfield. It’s not easy both ways. Take a day at a time is all I can say and be around family and friends (your support system).

Get support from friends and family, make plans so you don’t sit at home and think about how much you miss him. Try to stay busy! It’s hard when you’re so used to seeing someone every day, try to explain to your two year old that his dad is going on a trip and that he’ll be back soon. Help him understand it’s not a permanent thing and remind yourself that as well! Make a countdown on a dry erase board like you would for Christmas. My oldest is 2 and it’s hard for him to understand. I’m sure yours will have tantrums and act out but just try to be patient, you got this💙

2 Likes

When my dad had to stay away on the job, my mom would load us up in the car on a Friday and 2 hrs later we were with dad. We would stay until Sunday after one in the afternoon and head for home. We would do that twice a month. Some of my fondest memories are from those times.

1 Like

As long as it was for just work i wouldnt really care but then again im not really clingy type of female so idk if i have any good advice

Wow…you will be ok…you know there’s phones to call and FaceTime if you want to see each other while you talk.

1 Like

Make sure to spend time with friends. Set up play dates for your little one. Maybe get a calendar and have the date daddy is coming home highlighted in a bright color and every day put a “X” to mark off the days until he’s back. If little one asks where daddy is, just explain as simply as possible that dad went away for work but he will be back soon. Lots of smiles! Lots of love! FaceTime as much as possible should help too.
Good luck mama you got this!

1 Like

My husband has been deployed since October and it is difficult. It get easier with time. FaceTime has really helped and being surrounded by family and friends.

1 Like

My bf was rately home from work for 25 hrs. It’s hard but text and FaceTime as much as possible.

Try being with a truck driver then. They never home.

1 Like

My husband is currently away for 2 months . It is HARD , but it becomes easy . Face time every night . Send pictures , videos to each other . Ask a friend or family member to sleep in 2 or 3 times a week . Make a chart for your lil one , let her put a sticker on each day that has gone by . Ensure you have enough food in the house for a week or two , because even going out stressing over that is depressing . Be strong , it will be over in a jiffy . Absence makes the heart grow fonder and it certainly did for us :purple_heart: (my husband is also military)

1 Like

Figure out a way to communicate. FaceTime, zoom, video call. Whatever works for you. Each couple is going to have different ways that works for them.

Do social story with your two year old. Explain why Dad has to leave. Let your son make care packages.

Have Dad figure out a way to keep in touch with his son. Have him send a care package to him.

My brother is leaving in November for a year for the Army, the best bet is just count down the days, talk to each other, spend time with family.

Put on your big girl panties…

12 Likes

Easy. You do what you gotta do, one day at a time. Give yourself things to look forward to. Distract yourself from dwelling on the fact he’s gone, because wallowing in it isn’t gonna change it. It’s the same way we got through an 11 month deployment. Skype, fb chat, phone calls, daily as much as possible, and keep moving forward. You do what you normally do, and if your littles is asking questions and talks about missing him, have those conversations. Don’t be afraid to show how you’re feeling as well. It is normal and healthy to miss someone when they are gone. Make new memories with your littles. It’ll give you more time to devote to that child. Don’t waste it! I potty trained my 2 year old while my husband was on deployment. But also, don’t forget to make time for just you. It can get to be alot when all that added stress is on you as the sole person at home. Find a babysitter for a night out with friends. Let loose a bit, so you aren’t sitting on the house going stir crazy. It’s important to do all these things. Especially if this may happen again sometime later in the future. Just remember, it’s temporary.

3 Likes