I went to private catholic school was bullied relentlessly
Probably a Charter School nearby.
Ask God to help her not have the same experience you did
Be involved big time as soon as she tells you go to the principal keep a diary.
Put that child in karate for self defence.
I went to a Christian school and there were bullies. Bullies are everywhere. My kid is in private school and she was bullied beginning at 4k by one particular kid who’s parents were major donors so they school didn’t do anything. I had to teach her to fight back which is when the bullying finally stopped. My kid knocked that girl in her butt. She was scared to go against the school rules because she didn’t want to get into trouble but she finally listened to her mom, thank God! Nothings wrong with many public schools. Some are far better than private schools. Move to a better neighborhood with a great public school system if you’re able. It doesn’t mean there won’t be bullying but teaching your kid to stand up for herself makes all the difference to bullies. Put your baby in martial arts classes. Mine started at 3 1/2 yrs old. It builds their confidence, character and skill.
We even had a president who bullied people all the time.
I placed my daughter in private school
Home school if u can
In line school. It’s not as hard as you think. Try connections academy, they are in mist of the states. I used it for one of my kids and it was a good experience for her.
Homeschool your child please.
Never bullied in Catholic school
You won’t know until you try.
Homeschool her and socialize her in YOUR CHOICE of settings. I wouldn’t enroll my child in the schools of today. They have become a dangerous place for tender minds.
If you weren’t bullied in middle school, you were a bully. jk. But seriously, she might love it! I know my niece was super excited when she found out she would be around other kids her age. She’s an only child and doesn’t get to play with others much due to COVID. Take it a day at a time mama and ask her how she feels. If you notice she’s having a hard time, try to communicate what’s wrong. It’s harder when they’re young since they don’t always know how to describe things. But take it a day at a time
Public schools are no different than private schools. Kids are the same everywhere
i personally hated public school when i was a child, and after my child arrived, i made the intentional decision to use a private school. look for a private school that offers scholarships or some type of financial aid to enable you to afford it. regardless of what school you choose, nothing can replace being daily involved in her school life. be sure to encourage her to give you a run down of all she accomplished and all that took place (without grilling her).
Somebody will bother her sometime or another…the difference will be if the teachers or principal does something about it. Even happens in private and religious schools.
I was the bully that beat up the bullies in grade school. If I saw someone being picked on then I picked on that person till they couldn’t take it no more and they stopped all together. Kids just don’t stick up for one another anymore.
That can happen in private schools also.
This happens in all schools not just public ones.
Oh, I’m really considering homeschooling
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You have to teach her to open her mouth and not let it happen. I was bullied all through school. My oldest had a bully, I dealt with for years…to the point the cops got involved. My middle was bullied until she found her voice and confidence. I’ve worked on raising confident women in life who don’t put up with the wrong shit. But if they aren’t exposed to it early, and taught how to deal with it, they will have issues later on. I work with a lady that was homeschooled, and she is so timid because of it. She’s book smart, but every little thing sets her back socially. I watched my middle daughter step backwards when school went to distant learning, and she is just now climbing up again. You have to show her how to be strong, and do it in a good way. If you act scared, she’s going to be scared.
You could try homeschooling! Find a local co-op and connect with homeschool moms!
Homeschooling is best .
Shes not you. Get over yourself and put your kid in school
Homeschool. This world is horrible and I fear worse than bully’s. Keep em home keep em safe teach the what the world is and how to correctly survive.
I told my boys… Say loudly to stop bothering me. If continued alert the teacher/adult. If still continues do it back! I will then take care of it!
The biggest thing you can do is be her advocate. Tell her how you want her to handle bullies and go to the school and stick up for her. I had a friend that had to get the police involved with a situation with her daughter because a boy pyshically assaulted her daughter and left bruising and the school wouldn’t do anything about it. Kids are so mean, but if you show the school you won’t put up with anyone’s shit, they will do stuff about it.
My kid is 6 and gets bullied i tell her not everyone is nice there are bad ppl out there too
Homeschool! I was homeschooled and loved it and I will be homeschooling my kids
This hits a little hard for me. I was bullied so bad in middle school-high school I had so many… “negative thoughts” that I had to battle by myself. Depression, suicidal thoughts, etc. it was the hardest point in my life.
Every time I think about sending my son to school it breaks my heart because I don’t want him to go through the same thoughts I had. Or the same bratty kids.
My son only sees the good things because he watches school related tv shows and of course all the shows make school look like a blast so he gets excited, but he’ll never understand everything that isn’t shown.
I’m still not comfortable with the thought of schools. It’s something I’m still trying to ease myself into I guess.
Unfortunately, you’re never going to be ready to let her go. My oldest two daughters graduate high school this year and leave for college in the fall. I’m a hot mess. I get this way every year. It’s part of watching your kids grow up. As for the bullying, a lot of schools these days have anti-bullying policies in place. Teach your daughter now, when she’s young, the importance of not allowing what others say/do to affect her. I know that’s hard when they’re young, but keep instilling that in her. If that doesn’t work, be the momma bear! She comes home and tells you someone at school is bothering her, you go full force at the school until something is done. Unless you want to homeschool, her going off to school is inevitable. The best thing you can do is prepare her in every way possible.
Every school has bullying
My son goes to a private charter school for this reason.
I am so confused that lots of parents don’t even know that there children are bullies in school. My grandson told me last week that there is two GIRLS that bully him . He said … Grandma you always say Hi to their mother. That really upset me , because I am always teaching my adore grandson the right thing to do , to be a good human being . To respect every one. To love and be love . Lot of parents now a day shouldn’t be parents. We have to teach our children what is right and what is wrong. … Let’s PRAY AND HOPE, FOR THE BEST.
There’s no way to 100% prevent your child from being bullied. Bullies are everywhere. School, the work place, grocery store, ect. The only thing you can do is teach her good coping skills and what to do in a situation when they see someone else getting bullied and how to treat others the right way.
Enroll her in self defense classes…
I was bullied in public & private schools. I am a redhead that doesn’t tan. I’m grown & ppl still comment & act rude.
That said, your fear needs to be addressed. Therapy can help you bc projecting that fear onto her isn’t fair or healthy. She will be anxious & afraid unless you get help to stop yourself from projecting.
Hurt people raise hurt kids.
Stop the cycle. Do the work. It is not always fun or easy but in order to be mentally healthy, especially as a parent, we have to handle our past. And yes, we’ve all got to face something. You aren’t alone.
I taught my kids to stand up for themselves. Never start anything & always walk away if you can. If you need to respond, be the bigger smartazz & hit below the belt. My son was bullied & still stood up for others. He’s now a Marine. We worked through it, even with therapy & he learned tools to keep his self esteem intact & ignore outside noise.
The most important thing to remember, kids can just be jerks sometimes. No different than adults.
Not everything is being a bully. Kids feeling jealous or hurt will lash out & not actually mean it. Learn the difference. Help your daughter understand that if she doesn’t share her lunch, her friend saying “I hate you. You’re ugly” is manipulation. Teach her that other ppl’s opinions do not matter. What she thinks about herself is paramount. Therapy can give you tools to help do that. You will heal yourself while empowering her.
Bullies are everywhere. They’re not just in grade school. She may deal with a bully, she may not. I was pretty badly bullied through most of elementary school. But I still had friends. And it wasn’t nearly as bad in middle or high school. My kids fortunately haven’t experienced that kind of bullying. My youngest is still in elementary and my oldest is in middle school. Address the issues as they come. And maybe see a counselor yourself to address your own trauma.
Bullying can happen anywhere. I would keep open communication with your daughter and tell her if anyone ever bothers her to let you know and you can report it to the teachers ASAP!
The school my children go to have a very strict policy in place and any little issue is dealt with immediately so it doesn’t become a bigger issue in the future.
You can’t protect them from everything forever. They have to learn social skills at some point and how to deal with the ups and downs of life. If public school isn’t your choice, then make sure she is socialized in other ways. But no matter what you do, if they are around other kids this sort of thing can happen.
Bullies are everywhere, even well into adulthood. We sadly can’t keep our children in a bubble forever. Important thing is educating your child what is bullying and how to approach/handle it
Meet the teachers, meet the staff, keep in touch with them. Our school has a zero tolerance policy on bullying They enforce it. They have anti bullying programs. Find out what your prospective schools policy is and what they have in place.
Teach her to stand up for herself! I was severely bullied for years until I broke somebody’s nose in middle school. Was never bothered again.
Teach her to be LOUD about it. “STOP TEASING ME!!” “STOP PUSHING ME!!” etc. Make sure she knows to draw an adult’s attention. Also make sure she knows you have her back
Kind of telling that you think this only happens in public schools. Please get yourself in therapy to deal with your anxiety over the bullying you experienced and whatever makes you think money you apparently don’t have would protect your kid. I’m guessing if you had private school money, you wouldn’t be facing the horrors of public school. Shoveling that fear on your child will make them a target. Start there.
I still occasionally wake from bad dreams related to school, and I’m 47. Just listen to her, she may not tell all the details of what happened, or other kids might report her doing things she didn’t to cover themselves having done those things. Make any punishment be a discussion about why those actions are wrong, no matter who commits them, and believe her if she says it wasn’t her, unless you know 100% otherwise. Bullies don’t just manipulate their victims, they get good at convincing teachers/principals, etc. If you think that’s going on release your inner fire and make sure it’s dealt with.
Moma let me tell you something FOR you… " Your not going to be everyone’s cup of tea"… And is okay. YOu don’t need to like everyone as everyone dont need to like you… ,BUT both parties need to have RESPECT… Don’t run your fear to your daughter…
Teach her how to stick up for herself and how to defend herself.
If there is bullying, pull your daughter and switch schools. If they refuse be loud! I switched cities for my son. Original city wasn’t helping him.
Why are there laughing emoji?? It’s people’s kids!! Not funny…
I’m still trying to figure that out myself. I’ll give my kids a choice if they go through what I went through.
Put her in martial arts. It’ll help her gain confidence in herself. Bullies seek out kids who are lacking self confidence. It’ll also teach her to defend herself if needed. If problems arise tell her that she won’t be punished at home for beating the crap out of a bully.
Be active. Take her to school & pick her up. Volunteer & go to PTO meetings. Observe the kids behaviors & get to know their parents. Bullying starts in the home. If you hang out with parents in preschool you’ll know who the bullies will be later.
Toughen up cupcake she will be just fine. Getting picked on only makes them stronger and less of a pussy… I got picked on in school and it didnt bother me. I didnt tell on the kids bc it wasn’t needed. I eventually got them all back and never again did they pick on me…
Have open communication with your child… that’s it.
Tonya Farnham what is funny exactly?
I understand allowing your fear and experience to shelter your children. What happened to you isn’t necessarily going to happen to them. I hated school as a child. My two older siblings and myself were bullied quite often. We went to school in the 80’s. My two kids (12 &18), thrive in school. If I would have let my fears hold them back, I would never be able to celebrate all of their successes. Always stay active in your children’s lives. Let them know they can come to you with everything, good & bad. Watching my kids enjoy school so much gives me more joy than ever!
I was bullied because I was different, no Mexicans back than you adapt and learn homeschooling does nothing to teach your kids social skills, look at the work environment that’s what it is but you get paid just comunícate with them be in there lives they will be fine it’s not like when I was in school, system is not perfect but nowhere near like it used to be
Bullying isn’t just a public school issue. It’s not even just a childhood issue. Mean people suck and they’re everywhere. 🤷
Stop people. Putting all that stuff in her head now is going to scare her. approach the subjects when they come up in a positive and loving way. If you put bullying and all this stuff in her head now she’s going to be afraid to make friends… Children have their own way and intuition of seeking out friends.
You only have 2 choices: 1) Home school your child or 2) put her in school with other children.
Public schools are the best. You come out of there with all kinds of experience good and bad, which teach you how to handle yourself in the world.
Teach your child to face adversity and manage through it. I lived in an affluent (mostly white) district but sent my boys to a more diverse school so they COULD experience a diverse mix of student friendships. I also sent them to martial arts so they could handle themselves in any confrontation. Don’t hide challenges from your child…
Make sure she knows that you won’t hold it against her if she gets in trouble for hitting back. Too many kids let themselves become chronic victims because they’re scared of what their parents would do if they found out their kid had been fighting. Public schools are bad places, and if your daughter’s going to one then she needs to know you‘re in her corner. Even though she’s a girl, someone still might try to stand her over.
I was bullied in a Cathokic school. I begged my parents to go to public school with my friends from my neighborhood. They refused. I hated school so much I never went to college. My son was bullied in public school. He is home schooled. I wish I did that with all 3 of my kids. He is happier.
I loved public school. Open communication with your daughter and teach her how to recognize bullying. My children’s school teaches about it every year and has a zero tolerance rule. My children have never been bullied according to them and they are all introverted children.
Martial arts classes will help. They will learn respect and self confidence and that will give them a start to handle anything that comes their way.
really , your projecting your fear. Kids will be kids she will find her place where she feels comfortable with the kids she likes. Lets hope shes not the bully. and it happens in privet schools too.
I didn’t want to go. Still remember running home at recess (two blocks). Mother was waiting for me. Took me back. After a couple of times I gave into public education.
It depends on where you are, but people aren’t ready to have this conversation. Honestly, most (if not all) public schools in the US aren’t safe for kids mentally, physically, or emotionally. Plus, they have substandard education. Our society is in crisis because of public schools.
find a good private school and skip the whole mess.
stop projecting your fears onto your daughter and let her live her life.
First don’t make your kid anxious with possible negative scenarios.
Encourage your child to make a friend on first day of school. Tell your child they can approach the teacher with any problems.
Teaching your kids to physically fight will only end up getting them in trouble. Teach them to walk away.
Private schools aren’t any better.
Suck it up and grow a pair lord its life
There will always be opposition. It would be good for her to stand up for herself but not to the point where she would feel helpless. Social interaction is good that’s how they develop social skills… my younger siblings that were homeschooled struggle with social anxieties now, as well as the need to be admired or attention seeking…
Personally I understand the fear I was literally beat up nearly every day in high school and jr. High teased and all around bad I know that fear. Point being if you do because not every experience will be terrible, make sure to get your child out when it is.
Personally how I’d raise my children, homeschooling until 1st grade. Communicate with your baby, keep tabs be open and dependable, empathetic and dont make them fear you or feel you are not dependable… otherwise they wont come to you, I tried telling my parents they didn’t do anything even with phyisical evidence. Needless to say I ended up dropping out for that reason and to help mom with the kids. Dont have the piece of paper that says I’m intelligent however last my GPA was, was 3.8 so… a piece of paper doesnt determined intelligence.
Because of my mother hating kids (why she had 10 god only knows) we were bullied all through school it made us hate it. I ended up finishing as an adult and not sorry but please don’t put your child through that. It’s demeaning and hard on the child being abused
We didnt we put our daughter in a charter school so much better
You may never get over the fear. But, you are your childs voice, if something happens report it immediately! My daughter’s school has a no bullying tolerance and we had an issue in Kindergarten that I reported and it was never an issue again. I think everyone gets bullied or picked on in some way in school. But, it’s more in how it’s dealt with. I am a total mama bear, if the teacher or principal can’t take care of the problem…I will. If that means have a mediation session with the other parent and child so be it.
I fear that bullying occurs everywhere - public or private schools. Just be sure to ask her about her day, has she any special friends, etc. if you have a warm relationship with her, she’ll let you know how things are going. And also, make sure she knows the importance of inclusiveness. Good luck.
I feel as a society we have forgotten that public school is only an option… if I could go back I would have homeschooled my older two from the beginning! Not only in public schools do you worry about bullying but I feel kids are pier pressured into growing up so much quicker than the need to. Good luck
I had bullies in my Catholic school. They are everywhere. I just teach my daughter to walk the other way (unless they lay a hand on her then she has my permission to hit back - and I WILL defend her in the principal’s office). She is the kindest soul so I’m pretty sure if it comes to that the school will realize there is an issue.
Bullies are everywhere, public or private school it makes no difference. I taught my son to stand up for himself, tell them to stop, tell an adult, if someone hit him, hit back. I haven’t had any issues yet.
Both my kids went to public school. Get involved by volunteering if you can. Then the kids and the teachers know who you are and you have your eyes on them.
Make your kid “bully-proof.” Teach her to stand up for herself while being friendly to others and teach her the “three strikes” rule: tell the teacher the first time, the principal the second time, and the third time - POW! right in the kisser.
I went to public schools , as did both of my children & my granddaughter already graduated & my grandson is in grade school, never had any problems
Stay involved in your child’s life. Pay attention to changed behavior. Talk to your child’s teacher. My child is in Kindergarten and I talk to my son’s teacher often to check on his education and social behavior. I was bullied a lot in school and my parents involvement helped a lot.
What helped me was to befriend the teachers… introduce yourself, talk to them every day when you pick up your daughter and ask how she behaved, volunteer to be a chaperon for field trips or be a room mom for holiday parties. When teachers see you being active, they are more likely to feel comfortable in letting you know if your child is acting differently. Also, kids are less likely to bully a child with a strong parent presence.
Best of luck.
Honestly the MOST important thing is to not project your experiences onto your child.
At this age of her development, if you tell her about how your were bullied, or tell her that kids can be mean, etc. she will interpret everything as a threat, even when there isn’t an issue. Speak positively about school, her teachers, the other children. Encourage her to make friends and be kind. Ask open-ended questions about her day… not just “did you have fun?” but “who did you play with today?” and “what was the nicest thing that happened in school today?”. Have open communication with her teachers. As a preschool teacher myself, I make it a point to tell the children that in our room, everyone is a friend. We include everyone; no one is left out. One of our classroom rules is to have a kind and caring heart. We encourage kindness and sharing and being a good friend. We will point out when we see that behavior (I see that X helped Y pick up the toys in the block area. I love that you worked together!) and before you know it, all the kids are helping each other. I’m sorry you were bullied as a child. Let her have some space to have her own experiences and please don’t assume that she will be bullied just because you were.
My middle child, a boy, was bullied throughout elementary and middle school. I found out when he got hurt, and the school didn’t call me because it was “just a small bruise”. I went psycho on them - I filed a police report for assault and threatened to sue the kid, his parents and the school district if it happened again. I got called in every time something happened and refused to allow them to get by with “boys will be boys”. In high school, my son got tall and strong and stood up to the bullies and they challenged him to a fight in the parking lot. He faced them (there were 5) and as they taunted him about having no friends and how they were going to beat him up, my daughter and her entire softball team showed up, balls in hand. Behind them were all the boys in FFA, taking off their shirts and getting ready to brawl. The bullies didn’t stand a chance. That visit to the office resulted in my high 5’ing my kids, telling them to take it off school grounds the next time, then taking them out for ice cream. Never had another issue. Plus all 5 of those boys were in jail within a year. Win win I’d say
I was bullied in catholic school my daughter was picked on but learned from us how to stand up for herself…if you don’t expose them and teach them how to deal with it they will never learn… my grandson goes to public school and has been thriving and if that situation arises( hopefully not) we will teach him how to deal with it…
Your fear will rub off on her. Maybe if this is still this strong of a feeling with you maybe after all this time you need to seek a therapist to talk to about this. Do not let your past experience screw up her future.
Since you feel negative toward public school maybe you should try private school or home schooling.
I was bullied in school, too. And I teach in public schools. I have zero fear of putting my children in school because I know I will make it my business to be a part of their school community. The more involved you are, the better you know the teachers and administrators in a friendly way, the more on your side they’ll be if there is ever a problem. The staff at schools don’t want bullying and will do their best to stop it if they know - and if their eyes are closer on your child because they know you, the quicker any instance will be stopped. And, honestly, the other kids recognize kids of involved parents and they tend to get left alone. It’s no fun bullying a kid that immediately gets you in trouble.
Teach your children their worth, help them learn to be kind, give them the sense of self they need to stand up for themselves and let them learn self defense to instill confidence.
Invite kids over, get to know parents. Talk to them. Keep them away from social media as much as possible. If you have older kids make sure u have password and check their phones! I found out a lot by checking !!! Kids are mean, but you can learn a lot by knowing the parents and home life. Talk to school counselor and the best person to know is the bus drivers & janitors! They are the best source and the ones the school depends on most!
Dont want to scare you but if at all possible with everything all the issues out there today I’d work opposite shifts with my spouse to homeschool my kids for their own safety and mental well being. You dont know what they’re going to teach your children today!! If not possible make sure your in an A rated school district if not MOVE!!