Should I leave my relationship of 6 1/2 years because I’m not happy? My boyfriend and I have been dating for over six years now. We have two children together (2&4). Our relationship was perfect before we had kids, but ever since our first child, he has completely changed into a different person. He’s cheated several times, physically put his hands on me, calls me names in front of the children, etc. Here recently it’s even got so bad that he just lays around the house, as soon as he gets off of work (and when he’s off for his three days a week) and plays on his phone, never moves from the bed or couch because he’s always “not feeling good” or “too tired.” which I get after work him laying around, but not seven days a week, every single week. He won’t bathe our kids, he won’t take out the trash, he never helps with any housework, which again I get the works, and I stay home with kids, but he could help at least bath our children, I feel like. We never do dates, he never posts me on anything, he won’t watch our kids when I want to go spend time with friends, but he leaves every weekend and does as he pleases. We’re both just not happy anymore, but I don’t work, and he does. And I’m financially stuck, and staying with family is not an option. I know my kids deserve to see a happy family, but what do I do? I’m completely lost on what to do, I don’t want my kids blaming me for having a broken family because they love their dad so much.
Time to sit him down and have a conversation about where this relationship is going… It doesn’t sound like a good relationship or environment for the kids to be in. Kids are affected by the environment they grow up in. When he is at work go apply for assistance to get your own place and get child support order. If he has already physically abused you he will probably do it again, no one deserves that or mental abuse … I would get out of there asap! Contact social services In your state.
Please remember that your kids don’t need a family where mom and dad are together. They need to see their parents in happy, healthy, loving relationships. They often learn how a family should operate based on how their parents act. So, honestly the best thing you can do for them is to model the behaviour you would want them to display if they came to you with this issue. Since you’re a mom, I can imagine you’d draw the line at someone abusing them both emotionally and physically, which it sounds like is happening in this situation. If you wouldn’t stand for someone doing this to your kids, don’t allow someone to do this to you.
I think you need to let go of this phrase broken home. At the moment, your relationship sounds broken, there is no coming together as a couple or as parents. You’ve already recognised that neither of you are happy, your boys will see that. What you both are giving them as parents is an example of what a relationship should look like and what to do when it’s not. An age appropriate discussion with your boys explaining that you and daddy are not happy together, and its important to be happy together in a relationship. I believe you would move from what sounds like a broken home to a happier home. All families look different, as long as there is love and unity, it’s not broken. Best of luck.