Ew sounds like a man child in the worst ways.
Lived with a guy like that. RUN DONT WALK
Get out or better ask him to leave
Use your common sense, girl.
You can do it on your own, lose the stress.
Sounds like to me he’s in a funk. If he pays the rent I don’t see the issue with you paying for other stuff. As far as punishing the kids by taking electronics away, that doesn’t sound so bad. I mean he’s not hitting it spanking them. Your mom says he’s controlling? Yet he follows you around when you are with them. Maybe he is uncomfortable. How do they treat him. So many facts you are leaving out. I say communication is key. Communicate with him not us. So many people here are putting wild ideas in your head that he’s abusing your kids or that you should dump him. I say talk to him first. He seems depressed to me. I’m speaking from experience. I withdrew myself too!
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Have you discussed punishing the kids with him? Taking away devices seems reasonable to me…especially for a “step” parent. Back talking is certainly punishable and if this person is supposed to be a father figure it would make sense that he is trying to father them. I don’t spank my kids but if I did I wouldn’t be comfortable with someone who wasn’t their bio dad doling out that sort of punishment…so removing devices makes sense for me. But if he has never punished them before it is possible he is going through something or he is just tired of their shit. Idk what is going on with him not paying…maybe he is going through something and it is messing with how he normally does things…maybe he is just spacin. Have you asked him to pay? What do you mean by he controls the internet? If he follows you around it may be because he feels awkward and wants you near him. Best bet is to TALK to the man and find out what is happening.
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Now. Now is the time. Also please be careful moving guys in around your daughters. The stats skyrocket for molestation when it isnt a parent.
Get rid of him for your children’s sake. This is a poor example of a relationship. You need to model one so they aren’t doing the same thing later.
Maybe he is overwhelm and doesn’t know how to talk to you about it.
Why should it change he has everything he wants without any commitment. 
You’ve answered your own questions.
Dump him before it’s too late
What is this “Dear Abby”… ???
It’s pretty much over
Dump his sorry, lazy ass.
Ooo, no ma’am. Tell him bye soon✌🏻
Luk Skywalker I’m your Father
Kick him to the curb
Get rid of him Now ! !
You already know what to do
Put them in the Corner ha ha ha ha
Time for him to go !!
This is not hard if you are really a good mother. Shame on you for putting some bizarre need for a male in the house before your children’s mental health. Did you grow up with no Dad or one who was a bum because your idea of family lfe indicates you need some therapy.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How do you know it's time to end a relationship?
You really have to ask this? Should have left after the FIRST time he put his hands on you.
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I think with this message you’ve answered the question yourself it’s time!!
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Don’t stay with a man who is neglectful to your children or brings abuse into your home. Leave. Leave. Leave.
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He’s a bum
Show him the curb
Sounds like it’s awful, you don’t want to stay in a relationship we’re your miserable. Even if u try time apart might make the heart grow fonder
The moment he put his hands on you should have been the end. Get out now. Before it’s gets worse.
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Leave. You don’t need your kids growing up thinking it’s acceptable behavior to put their hands on someone or for someone to put their hands on them.
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This is the fourth time in three days that you have posted this dilemma just with different wording.
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Leave. If you don’t have friends or family to stay with, find a shelter. They have resources to guide you to get on your feet financially.
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Wow. Stories like this make me glad I left an unhealthy relationship and am happily single. Sounds like you need out.
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He’s telling you what he wants by his actions. You are not listening. This way he can say you kicked him out. This is where you get your life together. It’s hard but do able.
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Run . Been there it will continue
Apply for low income housing. Make a plan and get out. The sooner the better.
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You need to reread what you wrote and ask yourself where the question is. What happy family?
Your answer is already there you don’t need us. 
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4th sentence in and I already knew. Those are a lot of red flags that have been ignored. There’s no excuse for being treated that way. Get out!
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Go get yourself some assistance. Get out. Find yourself an income and raise your babies in a safer environment! Don’t let them grow up thinking that it’s ok to abuse or be abused!
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Please leave, a broken home is better than your kids seeing you in a casket. It’s only going to get worse, and he may move onto hitting them eventually! My kids dad and I split a while back, and they’ve never once blamed me for not having their dad under the same roof. They like happy mom.
Leave. I stopped reading at put hands on. Leave. Now. Run don’t walk.
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He doesn’t want to take responsibility for ending things.
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Girl figure out a way to leave him! You should have never stayed after the first time he put his hands on you! Start saving as much money as you can. If you go grocery shopping, start putting a little of that money back each week! Apply for assistance. Get yourself on a low income housing list now! Start figuring things out. Leave him, he’s useless.
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I would have left as soon he cheated or laid his hands on me that first time. I say your relationship has been long past over.
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Gooooooooooooooo! You don’t need to rely on him to have a good life
Leave now before it gets worse. Can you start looking for a job, find assistant in your area to move into a new place. File with the attorney general to start the process for child support. I wish you the best.
Get a job, get out. You can do better. No one should ever lay hands on their partner in a relationship.
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Yes leave,i dont think you will get a single person that will tell you to stay.Please dont stay becouse of money.There is plenty of help out there for you 
please message me too if you need someone to talk too
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He is having affairs with other woman , trashy woman.he might bring you something that is not curable. Your children are watching you this is a toxic relationship.He sounds like a Narcissist…Run now !!!
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Start applying for jobs and focus on you and your kids. He obviously is no longer invested in your relationship, so it sounds like its time to go. Move in silence. Don’t allow him to try to talk you out of anything!! Focus. Plan. Make moves and get out of there!! It will take time but you can do this!
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As soon as you feel ready to, for the safety and sake of you all my lovely. It won’t be easy but will be the best thing you can do, you all deserve happiness and not to be abused x
I know it’s probably scary to think of yourself and your 2 kids living without him. However if you stay your kids will think the way he treats you is appropriate and it’s not. Sometimes reality hurts.
Sending prayers and positive thoughts to you and your kids 
Stay strong
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This shouldn’t even be a question!!! Girl leave this is toxic and your kids will think this acceptable behavior and hate you later
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Dating for 6 and a half years would be my answer to that.
It’s time when he starts acting different and treats you like your nobody! Putting hands on and not watching his own kids ? Nahh kick him to the curb girl !
“I’m not happy…” is time to go. The more I read the more I thought please leave…
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Leave and be happy 
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I live in Indiana, and if you need a way out, I will physically jump into my vehicle and drive to where you are and get you out of there caring it you and your children need to get out immediately.
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To be completely honest, you’re showing your kids that a “man” should treat a woman. I know it’s scary but get the F out. I had to do that for myself and my kids. Thankfully my kids are older at the time. Family isn’t always blood. Is there any friends who can watch the kids while you work or work from home.
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I can GUARANTEE you love, as soon as you end this relationship, start healing and eventually find the person who will love you with respect and kindness, you’re children will soak up your happiness and end up happier themselves. They will love whoever loves you, because they will sense that you’re happier and healthier and they will grow and learn from that
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This is a toxic relationship. You need to leave for your kids sake. Get them out of that environment. Make plans to move slowly
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Leave his ass. He sounds like a piece of shit. You can find better and someone who will love you and your kids and treat you all with respect and love you deserve
The only person /(s) I feel sorry for is the kids. This is what happens when you first give up your financial independance and rely solely on that person. Then to further add, bring children into the mix with no commitment. People may think marriage is " just a piece a paper" and maybe it is. But that paper comes in handy when you need alimony and child support. Wake up. Get on your own two feet and teach your kids to be independent… Do not go find yourself another man to take care of you either. Until you are self sufficient, should you seek a relationship
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Get at least a part time job working the days he’s off, save every penny. Lie if you have to and don’t let him know you have a job. Maybe family can watch kids while you work…. Once you have enough money for deposit and 1st months rent, find a place and then file for state assistance if need be, could probably do that now tho if not married. Then move out when he is at work if you need to. Then tell him it’s over and move on with your life. Or have you tried to talk to him about how you feel? So sorry, tight spot for sure.
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say bye bye you dont need crap you have kids
It should’ve been over when he stopped giving 100% and he cheated
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I look at it as stay and be miserable or leave and be happy.
You already know the answer to that question.
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If the man refuses to go for counseling, then you have already answered your own question. I don’t think you want your children to think that this is what being a couple with children should be like.
Public assistance is an option until you can support yourself. He has “put his hands on you?” That behavior could accelerate. Children can continue to love Dad from a distance.
You answered yo own question when you said the kids deserve to see a happy family…
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Is there any women and children shelters in yoyr area. That deals with spousal abuse. They will help with counseling for you and your kids, provide a place to stay and help you get out on your own
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I’m in a situation similar to yours. I’m financially dependent on him but I’m applying for jobs and focusing on myself and my kids till we can get out.
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I know how most of this feels, he’s never cheated he doesn’t go out a lot and he’s never hurt me. Everything else is pretty much the same. But I would leave, I was in a very abusive relationship a long time ago and that’s hard to get over. If he is hurting you and cheating on you please do something before it gets worse.
Contact Women’s Aid for advice. This sounds controlling and abusive. You deserve better 
Stay and keep taking abuse-the kids witness this, it will become normal to them. They could possibly have abusive relationships later. Thinking it’s okay or normal because they grew up watching it.
Leave-and the kids have a heathy & happier mom! Also a happier and healthier home and future.
If you decide to stay, only stay because you two decided on counseling and are working on becoming better to and for each other and for your children. If it still doesn’t work you tried.
Or leave and also seek counseling to heal yourself from years of abuse that you didn’t cause or deserve.
Also kids shouldn’t blame you. It takes TWO to make a relationship work.
think about how you want your kid’s to see you. i stayed when i should have left for several years. Now neither of my kids have long term relationships so my staying for them backfired and i was my 50 when i left and I made it less than 5 years later and so can you. hold your head high… you got this…
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Stop depending on him. Make a plan an get out. What relationship you don’t have one. Your holding on to a dream that’s not going to come true. Go get s job and apply for assistance like free daycare and low income housing.
So he can do whatever he wants and you get to suffer because kids? The kids will notice this. And they deserve happy parents. Happy parents make happy kids.
He’s abusive. You need to get out. Get your friends help.
There isn’t ever a reason for a man to put his hands on you! That’s a deal breaker! Leave you and your kids deserve better!
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Leave him and don’t waste anymore of your time. Won’t be easy but it’s so worth it.
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Ummm sweetie…your family is already broken.
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Why are you asking ? You already know the answer —- should have left the first time he physically put his hands on you.
You know it’s time to leave when there is no respect, and it sounds like that went out the window a long time ago.
It’s time to refocus girl. Take some online courses, apply for jobs, assistance - anything. And wait it out until you can make the move to leave. It’ll never change. You can’t make someone do things they just don’t want to do. You also can’t change a person no matter how hard you try or pray. You deserve more and so don’t your kids
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As a survivor of domestic abuse, I can tell you, GET OUT! Do it quickly and quietly!! No discussion, no warning, no ultimatum. I’m not sure where you live, but try your local state or county services. You aren’t married, so that’s a huge plus! Here in Michigan we have a help line 211. Again not sure where you are. Maybe try your personal physicians office. They might be able to help you find a shelter and a way out! I HAVE BEEN THERE! You are never truly STUCK except by your fear. Your kids and you deserve better! You can PM me if you need to.
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You want your kids to be in such relationships?
Get out! Save up some money, make a plan, tell a friend and your parents and leave!!
Please don’t stay. I did this for 18 years and ended up divorced and now have cervical cancer due to all the cheating. For the sake of your kids, get out cuz it won’t change
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2 happy homes is better than one miserable one. Help is out there
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See if you can get assistance through state. Sometimes it includes housing. There’s a child care certificate you can apply for to get reduced day care costs. My girlfriends daycare cost is only $10 a month. Leave. It’s not doing you two or the kids any kid to be miserable. Be separate and be happy.
Man hey im going through exactly what you are but not the abuse part ive made my mind up when my youngest who is 3 turns 10 im gone. My life has been shit an i havent been happy an i have no family that accepts my children for crazy sick reasons ive just come to realize my time will be here soon. Good luck to you!!
I believe you already know the answer to this question
What dad? He is not a dad. A dad spends time with his kids and helps care for them physically not just financially. Girl you have got to get out. This whole situation is toxic. This is not how you want to raise your babies. They gonna grow up thinking this is alright. No way girl, time to get out.
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Find a way out. Make a plan. Don’t look back. Move on with your life. If there’s any chance he’ll change, he needs to do it on his own. After a long period of separation you can reassess the situation, but be very careful!
Contact your local domestic violence office ! They will help you get out and into a place to live
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As a domestic violence survivor, take it from me and leave… make a plan, apply for assistance, get a job, do whatever you have to to get you and your babies to a better place… I promise it’s out there… I’m praying for you
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You already know the answer.
Just get your finances together. Get yourself and your kids a new place to live.
Leave this bad boy in your past where he clearly belongs. The cheating on you was bad enough but the fact he put his hands on you is a deal breaker for me. You sure don’t want your children to think that is normal behavior.
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Run! You and the kiddos deserve better! Been down that road myself!
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