All I read was the first sentence/question. With all due respect, if you’re asking yourself this question… it’s time to end the relationship.
You guys will never be on the same page because u have a child and he does not… Even if u had the extra $ to do the things he wants to do u have a child who he isn’t going 2 want on all ur guys trips… And when he told u that he doesn’t have a woman cuz ur always there did he fail to mention he allows u 2 be there everyday, it’s not like he told u hey don’t come over and u went anyways…
Have u explained it to him? Totally like finances.
If the situation was reversed would you want to stay or would you want to end things?
Sometimes things just don’t work out.
Focus on yourself and your child.
You don’t need the added pressure of keeping up with someone that doesn’t want to be there (since you mentioned he doesn’t like doing anything locally).
He expects a woman who can go out and about with him. You have a child and unless he wants to have that child along, this isnt going to work. As a couple he should be at least be willing to make concessions for your child for your sake as well as the child’s. If he thinks you can farm out your child and go do fun things all the time, then, simply put, - he’s already not interested in your child so don’t expect that to change except to perhaps become worse.
Sometimes its just not your season. If hes with you its bc he wants to be… sometimes we get ourselves in trouble because we think for the other person. If you are dating him then talk about it with him. Let him know you want to jet set but you are building the foundation he already has. So your priorities are a bit different. He needs to understand that. See what he says. Hard convos are necessary for great relationships. You may find he’s not thinking like you at all. Either way, yes, you should still get on your grind. Talk to him about local or semi local things you’re willing to do.
From a fellow single mom who isn’t anywhere near close to being happy with where I’m at in life, TRUST me when I say this, you’d much rather have a man that’s established, professional, who has his shit together than not. Use that as support and motivation. talk to him about the future together, set some short terms goals, ask for help getting you to where you want to be so you can grow together.
Get you a man who includes your children in everything, mine does makes me love him even more
Mmm… think of it this way. Is he adding to your and your children’s life for the better ? Or is he causing you stress and negativity. The right man will make you feel good no matter what and will be positively adding to your life not standing still or taking away from you and your children.
Why doesn’t he want to do anything local is the question & answer. Leave he doesn’t want to be seen locally with you for a reason.
open , honest communication…if you can if you can’t say the words you just typed on facebook to HIM…then you have nothing
It sounds like he wants someone who can stop everything and run around.The sad part of being a single mom is dating . if he wants that from you , he should be like babe in a month lest do this and when it’s tome to go he can help you with child care some bills when you get back . if he wants you to really go he’ d be offering this help . So your best bet is to talk to him. Best of luck
You need to let it go and take time to get yourself stable and secure. Mentally, physically and emotionally… And financially. I can’t express this enough. Let him go!!!
Umm maybe idk have a conversation with him and examine your logic and reasoning…you may find he’s supportive and appreciative that you didn’t try to use him as a answer to your financial struggle… we have to start normalizing communication because we tend to want people to just know how we feel of what we want but im pretty sure he isn’t a mind reader.
If he was the right guy, he would be there for you. I have learned that if you are questioning it beyond sometimes maybe having a bad day here and there, he isnt the one. No one is ever going to be at the same place in life like that.
Is he not open to taking your child with on these trips?
If his not okay with that it might be best to move on.
When your even questioning it
Looks like time to.move on
Let him go. Work on you
Too early? Why would he be financially responsible for you???
For starters you don’t ask ANY man you are not married to for help at any point. If he sees you in distress and all he does is criticize you… that’s your cue.
I would end it. Looks like you both aren’t really wanting to work anything out as it is. Work on you and be there for your child. If he’s for you, he’ll be back where both of you are happy together!.
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Tell him what you wrote out here, either he’ll understand or he won’t… but communication is key especially for something you want to work.
The right man would understand your position and be understanding of you and your circumstances. If he gets frustrated at you being unable to do stuff because you’re working or don’t have the funds it’s his issue, not yours. You don’t need to get your sh** in order, he needs to recognise the different places you are in your lives and support you.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How do you know it's time to end a relationship?
I agree with talk to him and explain. Just tell him “I would love to go do all these things with you but currently I’m trying really hard to accomplish ____ for my daughter and myself.” That you aren’t quite able yet to afford the luxury of spontaneous vacations or things of that nature but you would love to in the future when you’re able. Say that you would love to do more things together but things that can work with your current situation that are closer to home and allow you to continue working, maybe small evening trips to nearby spots, dinner, a walk, drive to see a nearby beautiful view, etc. If he isn’t willing to wait for you to be financially able to do those big things and will get upset at you not being able to then maybe he isn’t as supportive as he should be and it should be considered whether or not y’all can make it work.
Sweetie, if he’s already bored in the relationship it isn’t going to get any better. Move on to someone who values and appreciate you and your situation. Good luck!
“He never talks about doing anything locally, and he doesn’t have a woman because I’m with him too many nights at his house.” I’m confused…he doesn’t have a woman because you are at his house for too many nights? So is this an open relationship? Is this even a relationship at all? Are you just a friend’s with benefits thing to him?
I don’t think either of them are boring or that she isn’t doing enough. They’re in 2 different places in life. Their finances and responsibilities are so different. If they can communicate and come to an understanding that’s good. If he doesn’t understanding her financial limitations and her responsibilities to her child, he just isn’t for her.
Dear young single Mom. If you are asking for advice instead of having a heart to heart talk with him something is terribly wrong with this relationship and it will not get better. Call it a learning experience and call it quits.
I would love for my man to want to go places all the time. Sounds fun!!! Talk to him, someday he may be ur partner in life. Communicate,get u guys on the right road together. He knows ur life and ur struggles. Talk and see if hes the one. Best of luck
I would have a full honest conversation with him and say “this is our situation. What do you think of this” while explaining your feelings. Anyone worth being with in the end will be someone you can be 100% honest with
Your child has to come first. They will know if you’re unhappy and it will affect them even if they can’t tell you. Sounds like your gut is talking to you.
He wont change. Does he love your child/children? Put God first then you will know what you need to do.
Right now the two of you are in very different places, so it’s time to sit down and discuss where your relationship falls. It sounds like it might be time to part ways but he doesn’t want to be the bad guy and be the one to break things off. You have things on your plate with your child and your job, so concentrate on those right now.
I once dated a man like this when I was a single mother, always felt like I had to choose b/w him and my kids. Broke it off and never regretted it. Went on to meet a wonderful man who always included the kids. Happy ever after!
Talk to him, explain your situation if he doesn’t already know. Make sure not to leave anything out about what is happening in your life so he knows and can make the choice himself. If he doesn’t get it or walks away, be done, no turning back. If he’s bored, it’s really not a good sign and there may be things going on you don’t know about in his life. Relationships are really hard when you are in different financial places.
Be friends! You have a child and you can’t just up root your child and take him places because he has a schedule as well. Break it off and just be friends and hang out with each other and locally when you can. This relived the stress and allows the two of you two later fine people that are ready equally yoked
His remarks are telling you to walk away. He is foolish to believe he is where he wants to be in life. He’s in a good place right now; life changes in the blink of an eye and he may not always be where he wants to be in life.
Sounds like it’s good for him when you go into his world. You’re running circles tending to your kids & working to make ends meet in your world & then still have time & energy to run to his house a few times a week? What’s his effort in all this?
No offense, but this is an immature problem that a lot of people have. Your bond with him is suffering because you’re too afraid to just come out with it and tell him that you’re broke and that you can barely get back on your feet. Swallow your damn pride and communicate. You’re complicating this for no reason whatsoever. You think he was always well off? A GROWN man understands that shit happens, and you need a little time to bounce back. Just talk
You want someone who will be there for you in good times and bad. It doesn’t sound like he values you enough or that he has enough compassion for you and others who are not quite as comfortable as he is. I’m not sure he’s all that great…
I’d have an open conversation with him. Tell him how you feel. Where you are in life right now and let him know your doubts that your not able to have the life style he has. He may feel the same way and end it our may want you to understand he can provide also but didn’t want to over step boundaries. Sometimes communication can fix it all. And if he’s not ready for your life, then that clears it all versus doubting and being unhappy
Sounds to me like it would be better to go your own way and let him go his ,get all of your poop in the proper sock on your own and then when you meet someone new ,you can stand square on your own two feet and not have to compromise or be compromised
Pray girl pray
If you love him it’s worth fighting for if not walk now it as it will only get harder and be good friends maybe
If you have to ask I think you know. Just not comfortable with it. Trust yourself and keep growing which ever route u take. Best to you.
Three strikes and they are out. I’ll bet that wasn’t the first strike. Does he make you pay for the babysitter?
Singel man will fine woman with her own responsblty boring. Bcoz it’s not his responsibility. It’s smpl as that. Try to talk with him. I hope he understands. But I will not put your hope so high. Bcoz if he wants to understand you he would have done long time ago.
Have you got CARE GIVER written over your forehead as you say he is where he wants to be and you’re not. For you to ask such a question. You defintely know the answer.
Sounds like you’re not suited anyway.
Tell him what you are going through, if he is really interested on you, he will help you out, if not, he isn’t the right person for you. He needs to understand that a single moms priority is her yong child, plain and simple!
I wouldn’t end things just yet, but maybe have an open relationship where you two can explore more to see where you truely want to be whether it’s with him Or maybe alone or with someone else!
He’s not the one
He’s just not that into you
Love isn’t that hard
If he doesn’t try to see what you are going through and been through then communication is a must. If he’s bored that soon, then I’d look at the big picture and really soul search where you are headed.
I’ve been in his place before where I had it all together and the man I was in love with did not. It didn’t last long term. Unfortunately. I waited as long as I could but he could just never catch up. I got bored spending every weekend at home hanging out. My soul needed more adventure.
If he seems bored he is, trust your gut and ask yourself is he really that into you. You are a single mother you don’t have the luxury of games that are being played.
I w just lay it on the line. …but it sounds like u r both going in different directions
…I w let him go…get yourself in order…or don’t and just move on…stick and move …its what makes u happy. but to me it doesn’t seem like u r happy @ all???
Compromise and communication is the key to most Amy relationship it sounds like he has tried to be patient so you can get things on track but at the same time are you going and doing anything he suggests? Things would get boring for me too if there was never anything but work and hanging out
Err…hello? Why should you do anything differently?
He sounds like a player , always looking for the next exciting thing or place.
He knows you have different responsibilities and he is whinging. Cut your losses.
It’s entirely possible that he doesn’t have a clear picture of what’s going on with you. Sometimes es, when we try to handle things on our own and feel like our issues could be a burden to others, we don’t communicate our reality to others. Speak with him, outline all of it, and see what he does with the information. Then you’ll know… Don’t feel as though your circumstances are less important or to be minimized because of another. Live and rebuild anew whether with him or another…
Being a single parent and dating is hard. You can’t be spontaneous because you have plan for sitters and what not. The children always come first when you’re a parent. The right guy will understand this. I don’t know if this man understands this. I don’t know if this man is the right one. But it’s not my relationship. You should sit down and have a real honest conversation with him about what you both want out of your relationship. If you two want two different things, then it’s probably time to cut ties. I feel super blessed, my boyfriend understands that my son comes first. And we will often include my son in our activities. Since, it’s so hot where we live, we haven’t done much. But we have plans to do things together. All of us. Maybe that would be an option too when you get your financials in order.
Also, if he’s saying things like “I can’t have a woman to do things with because you’re here too much” that’s a red flag. That shows that he’s thinking about other women then it’s likely that he’s been thinking about being with other women.
There’s this book called “He’s just not that into you” and that book changed my life. It has really helped me in my dating life.
If he was dead serious about the relationship in the first lace time wouldn’t matter and he’s be understanding and as helpful as possible
If you’re unhappy more often than happy.
If he really loved you he would buy you a car because he would see that you are stuggling without one & working extra hrs to pay for one…
Communicate and figure out where each other’s feelings and situations are at this moment. Talk about goals and dreams. And if at the end of it you both don’t see eye to eye or he doesn’t seem interested in talking or just not interested at all then that’s your queue to leave.
why do people feel the need to be rude and laugh. You’re adults!
Yes I realise you are both on different level in life at this point but when two people love each other they want to share each other’s joy,and happiness.We all have our own issues/problems/concerns whatever we may call it,that we take with us in relationships,to work etc;How we deal with it is the most important part.Before you decide to give up,give it your best shot,ask questions that are bothering you,find out the plans for both of you(and your child because he or she is priority)If he is that into you he’ll make all the effort instead of criticizing your action and your thoughts before you even think about then
take your time and be extremely good to yourself:heart_decoration:remember there’s only one you.I’m learning about relationship too:slightly_smiling_face:
As harsh as it sounds and you probably won’t like it: you need to make more of an effort, just based on the post; it just comes off that way. If you aren’t feeling 100% into the relationship, then end it. . That’s me, do what YOU feel is right; YOU know what’s best for you
Your first priority is your child. Learn to be on your own enjoying life with family and friends. It seems like he wants you to like what he likes and to be available at a drop of a hat.
He did not offer to help you. Sounds like you pay your own way, and on call girl to his house.
If you wait until some “right time” in a fuzzy future, you might wind up waiting the rest of your life. Have you tried communicating your situation just like you did with us? Have you asked him for suggestions on how to move forward together, given your particular set of challenges? If not, why not? It may indeed be that you are in places too incompatible to work out, but you never know unless you can communicate. If you can’t do that, that’s another area of concern.
Walk…sounds like you already know…how into you is he if he can watch you struggle as a single mom and be critical…boi… not for you…concentrate on you
Its better to be slone then in company where demanding is more than caring.
You too seems to be fed up ! Go for someone as permanent relationship
simply tell him that under other circumstances, you’d be more than happy doing what he wants but do to parental and financial obligations your priorities are different than his.If it’s meant to be it will but otherwise your honesty is the best thing you have ( other than your child who you are thinking of like a great mom).
He sounds arrogant and needs to learn the value of dollar and decent relationship. His loss. He sounds like a prick for making you a hot mess. There no need for you to bend backwards for a dicking. You can find a dick on any street corner.
sit around…for either of you…already let’s you know he doesn’t want to be seen with you…how would you know if he’s not living a double life…sounds creepy .
Talk to him,tell him you’d love to go away with him,maybe he might offer to help pay for your car.if you think it’s worth keeping the relationship going…
I think you guys are definitely in different places of your lives and I’m not sure he really understand quite where you’re at. The best thing you could do is just try talking to him. Explain how things are for you and what sets you back from things but also what you’re doing to try and improve. Also you have a child which somebody who doesn’t have one probably won’t understand how limiting a child can also be (there’s obviously nothing wrong with having children but once you have them, it’s not about you anymore and you can’t just pick up and go like before. It’s just how it is).
I mean, he’ll either be understanding and see your side or he’ll want to part ways and if he does then it wasn’t meant to be anyways
If he ain’t helping you, move on. All he wants is to help himself at your exspence.
Pray about this and seek Gods will and direction for your life and your child’s … if he is not attending church and growing and leading you and your child as a Christian man … he isn’t for you … let him go …relationship with Jesus must come first …
Tell him where you’re at and that you guys need to be on the same page if this is going to work.
If he’s making you feel like he’s bored and uninterested, then he ain’t the one
Just bow out - face to face. It might be a long time for your situation to get in order.
He isn’t Responsible for your situation financially, but if you’re staying at his house… Then clearly there might be something - unless he’s an FB… Then There’s not a relationship here. If there was he would probably try to help you. Just a thought…
Tell him how you feel. His response will let you know what is next.
NEXT FECLIA…… tell him to jog on! To be honest he sounds like he is the type of man that makes the whole relationship about him and what he wants in life. A relationship is two way. He should want to do the chill out save your money stuff with you aswell as maybe paying for you to go on a trip with him if he wants to go soooo bad!
If you have to explain why this isn’t t a good time for you to go away, explaining it to him will not make a difference. He s shallow and self centered. This is not fixable on your end, he has to change himself……
If you are asking for advice you know it’s time. Think about Paul Simon’s 50 Ways to Leave Your Lover. One of them will fit.
Your children should be your priority. Become unavailable.
He needs to grow up put you and your children first the rest will happen.
So sorry you are having problems but asking for money is not right and that is easy enough to explain why.
I’m my opinion… if you’re at a point that seeking the advice of strangers, then its time.
I’m not trying to be rude, but if its gotta to that point, it’s time to go
What do you mean, “he doesn’t have a woman”? You’re his woman, I thought?
I don’t think you and him are compatible and you would be better off ending relationship
Sound funny he do not ask what going on in your life. How you coping in life. Is he not in your child life also
He wants you to go with him on vacation the bill is his. He knows your struggle
Yeah, pull yourself together…he seems like the boring one
I think you just need to talk to him and let him know how you feel. You might be reading him wrong and vice versa.
Sorry but he sounds like a narcissistic douche.
He doesn’t have the ability to empathize with your situation?
Your struggles are “too boring for him?”
Hit the road sister.
if he is bored now…What will he be in the future?