I’m dating a guy, and he’s already where he wants to be in life. He has a business and works for himself, so he travels a lot. Right now, I’m not where I wanna be in life, and I also just totaled out my vehicle, so I have been working and back home every day for the past two months. When I started talking to him, he asked me to go on a trip with him, which I couldn’t do because I was working six days to try to catch up on my losses. Now, after a couple of months, he seems bored with me and uninterested, and he says things like I don’t wanna do anything, and I just want to sit around. He never talks about doing anything locally, and he doesn’t have a woman because I’m with him too many nights at his house. It’s not that I don’t wanna do it, but he has to understand that we are in two different positions in life, and I’m a single mother as well; I can’t just jump up and leave. So my question is, what can I do differently, or would you just call it off until all my sh** is in order? I don’t wanna seem like I’m bored, and we just started talking right when my car totaled, so I didn’t ask for his help because it was too early. Help I need opinions, please, and I can take criticism.
I would sack it off to be honest or be honest with him about your situation so at least he understands but it isn’t fair to hold him back in finding someone who is at the same stage or on parr with his lifestyle.
I’m a single parent and couldn’t just go on lavish trips at a drop of a hat so I do understand your situation.
On the flip side if he was that invested in you it wouldn’t matter what you do or where you did it as long as he was with you. If you haven’t been talking long then I guess feelings aren’t that established for each other just yet.
It’s hard to say without much background on your relationship. But do what you feel is right. I would be straight up and honest with him though at least then you can both make a decision based on what’s going on and where to take it from there.
I’m going to be honest, as a man who is in this exact type of situation…my shit is not in order. at all.
I haven’t been looking for it, but i found her. she’s fucking amazing. but, her life is fully put together…
I don’t have the problem u have here though…but I think thats because I have been 100% completely and fully honest from the beginning and she has accepted that. She’s not trying to push me along to get my shit taken care of she’s just supportive of my efforts.
so, I think some have said here but…just tell us what you told him…communication is important. Tell him you’re not sure what to do right now because it seems like you can’t give him what he wants. So if he wants to spend time with you he’ll need to find ways to do it in smaller bits, working around your schedule.
if he can’t or doesn’t want to do that…than you have a better answer than you could have gotten from any of us. If he goes “oh shit, thats what it takes to be with you…then thats what I’ll do” then maybe you found your person and you don’thave to wait all those sleepless nights still wondering.
Just talk about stuff when you feel stuff coming up. talk. Communicate. Most guys are fucking idiots. if you don’t spell it out they can’t read it.
And if you come across a man who can’t communicate or understand when u do…than bounce. thats not a long-term worthy companion. Don’t settle. you don’t have to.
I was a single mom
Of 2 for 5 years before my boyfriend and I started dating. He is the epitome of
“If he wanted to, he would”. If your boyfriend was empathetic with your situation, he would figure out how to travel even for a night to not interfere with your work schedule. He’d find things for you and your children to do and understand that you are a package deal. You should feel supported in your struggle, not like you are holding him back from things that he enjoys. Have an honest conversation with him and give him an opportunity to share his feelings before you assume that he’s bored or building a resentment towards you when that may not be the case.