You’re asking , so you already know. I think you meant to ask, how to ask him to leave best of luck, you’re already doing it by yourself
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Have you talked with him about it at all? You need to communicate all the issues. Also you said he’s shy, so it’s not surprising he doesn’t interact much with your parents. Communicate and then if it’s not better, leave
as a girl who had a mom who constantly had bfs and letting them “punish” my brothers and I, LEAVEEE you and your kids will be so much happier without him in your life!
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The thing with the kid isn’t a big deal imo. If you want a future with him you will need to eventually allow him to parent your children too, that includes giving appropriate punishments for being naughty. Have you tried talking to him about the bill/expenses issue? An option could be getting a joint account for bills and expenses, figure out what all nessecity expenses cost and you each put in half into the joint account (keep a separate account for yourself) if you both make relatively the same amount bi-weekly.
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I think deep down you know the answer… your just grasping on for dear life…but for what… just to constantly feel the way you do… constantly questioning weather your overthinking it all or if it’s really happening…
Sometimes the hardest things in life are also the best things for us… take a step back, take a deep breath in,… and then out… and ask yourself where do you see yourself in 5yrs…if he’s not there…or you have to force him in there…you got your answer… 
mumma stay strong…you can do this! 
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As soon as you don’t want to be in one anymore. A relationship is never something owed.
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I’ve been in your shoes. However best thing u can do is think of yourself and your kids, not him. You know what u have to do in your heart, u just needed a little push in right direction
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Honey I would end it and be careful I was in a relationship like that before and it can turn very dangerous very quick and without warning
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Sounds like to me you may already know the answer to your question and technically there is nothing bonding you and him together no kids no marriage so the question is whats stopping you from leaving him or telling him its over he has to go
I hope you the best what ever you decide an if you leave him an you have a car or truck put as much of your stuff in a storage if you can’t find a place right a way an go to a homeless shelter they have beds showers an food they do have a few rules but there easy but better than nothing I’m praying for you an a hug for all of you but the one who is hurting your take care beautiful
Get rid of this person he will adventually make your life totally bad he don’t really care for you orhe would help you more an he would be kinder to you an family
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Leave you and your kids deserve better…plan your exit get things situated…
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He does sound like a narcissist or controlling and yes he is using you if you still love him sit and have a calm conversation with them and give it not even a month to get his shit together start helping to pay bills so I want to someone and if he wants Starbucks well guess what mama you don’t have money for that if you want to go get it and if those are your kids and that is the punishment should be left up to you you alone
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Oh sweetie! I hate to hear stories like this when it happens to anyone! I’m not going to say how he May or May not be feeling about you or wether loves you anymore or not but I will say it sounds like he truly does not love himself and therefore he doesn’t have it to share with you. Anyone can pretend to be something they’re not for a while but eventually the person they really are comes out! I know with certainty from your post that he definitely does not respect you, he doesn’t have good conflict/resolution skills either or else he would come to you to talk about things, instead of deciding to just do whatever when it comes to the finances, whether he cares about it or not he’s still using you and this is controlling behavior, it’s also emotionally immature passive/aggressive behavior and it’s sounds like he’s a bit of a bully to your children from just the little but you stated in your post about how he chooses to punish them without co-parenting WITH you! I’m not going to tell you to leave but I will tell you to at least start reading books about how to gain your self worth and upgrade your self esteem! Once you TRULY start loving yourself the decision on what you should do in a case like this will come easy. If you do decide to stay start learning how to slowly set boundaries with consequences for when he does things that violate your morals and violates the respect you deserve!! Good luck! Love yourself first!
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Leave start a new life with you and your kids it will be hard at the beginning but you can do it…i did it…you will be happier and your kids will be too…
The kid thing I see no issue with if they’re back talking and acting foolish, he isn’t abusing just taking their devices away. My issue would be the bill thing. If he’s only paying half the rent he should be paying half the other bills as well. If he’s paying all of the rent and it’s higher than the other monthly bills I see no issue. The kids aren’t his so he shouldn’t have to provide for them that’s your responsibility and their fathers. If he’s being a jack ass leave him it sounds like he’s only helping rent wise and from the sound of it you can swing that without him
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You live together because: he needed a place to live, right?
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Why do you think it’d not ok for kids’ devices to be taken?! You don’t discipline your kids?!
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One word: RUN. 
Run,run as fast as you can out of that relationship.
If you have to ask then you already know the answer.
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Leave don’t waste anymore time
Kick him to the curve
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How do you know it's time to end a relationship?
Talk to him tell him how you feel open up and tell him things have to change or your gone. Some people just don’t realise that they are pushing people away sometimes because they think there relationship or something is stronger than that. But in reality we are all human and want to feel loved and wanted
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How do you know it's time to end a relationship?
Throw him out…don’t be afraid to go it alone. My ex husband treated me like that. He used to ignore me for days, weeks sometimes. I always felt lonely. I always thought tomorrow may be better but it never was. When my mom and dad passed away within 3 weeks of each other, I realised he would never love me like they loved each other so I decided to divorce him. Best thing I ever did… it wasn’t easy but it has been worth it. You have already proved you can manage as you have brought up your children and you can manage your money.
Release yourself from the misery…good luck. Xx
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Sounds to me like he has rethought the situation and I don’t think he wants to be in the relationship. Sometimes a guy falls in love with a woman who has children and then once they are all living together realizes that he has taken on more than he wanted to. I don’t think he realized what being a husband/father really meant. Some men are strong enough to handle all of this and others want out. It is no reflection on you or your children and has more to do with his lack of maturity. It is better to let him go and get him out now for both your sake and your children’s.
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Remember your teaching your children how to have relationships. they watch everything you do and then go out and live it.if you can’t save yourself save them. You sound to self sacrificing you deserve a better more involved partner
I’m going thru exact same thing as u, only thing is I have a daughter with this person. And have 3 of my own.
We live in the same house like room mates. I want to move but I can’t because financily its impossible so me and my girls have to fight this till I can financialy get us away from him.
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Talk to your parents and then listen to them. You are important to them and they have your best interest at heart. They are wiser because they see the full picture.
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A father figure should set examples for children to follow. If he isn’t being a role model for your children… ask yourself “is this the baby daddy I want for my children?” The rest should simply fall in place after that 
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Leave that man. You can find someone that makes you feel amazing and loved
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Did I read this right…he doesn’t talk, have any manners in your parents home, punish the children, shows no love or consideration towards you and he isnt even the father or husband providing for the family…this guy has already left mentally, just killing time till he finds another woman he can sucker in…You need to respect your self & think about your kids well being first!!
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Did you talk to him about it? Guys are great at hiding there emotions and just taking it out of everything else. I’ve done it b4. Good luck.
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I think he’s a bit lost. Maybe depressed? Have a talk with each other as you both sound like you’re being stubborn on the love showing side and I think you both feel really lost with it. I would talk and try to do more couple time whatever that might be. Do what you both did to bring that spark in the first place.
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Sounds like you already know what to do, you just want someone to say it. You’re not happy, which usually means your children aren’t happy. It’s time to walk away. Find someone who loves and cherishes you and your kids.
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time to say good bye and don’t have the door close on your nose. I have a friend that went thru the same thing and she got feed up and sent him packing. he said he had the right to stay in herf house, so she called the police and had him removed. they are going to court and he will be out of her life for good, they kids hate him .
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Do you love him?
If yes - you need to have some serious conversations with him. Establish boundaries. Address the behaviour. See if he’s willing to work through it.
If no - time to leave.
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You know it’s time to end the relationship at the very moment you ask yourself “should I end this relationship”
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This is not love. It is a bad roommate.
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He doesn’t talk because he doesn’t want to, doesn’t have anything to say to you or is punishing you. It’s a little unclear to me whether the continues to pay only his half of the rent or is now paying the entire rent. ?. He pays for nothing else. He doesn’t speak at all while with you at your parents’ house and follows you around the entire visit, like a puppy, while there. Make a list of the qualities you’re looking for in a man. Does he have them.? I think not. Ask yourself how much more of your life you’re willing to live like this. 1 days, 1 month, 1 year, 10 years? He’s not going to change. You live in a TOXIC Environment . You teach people how to treat you…
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If you love someone especially with kids. Before you get through or before you get married your have to think and make sure that, he not only love u, but he should love your kids n your families.
Now, he changes his behavier like that i think, is the right time for you to leave him to matter how much your love him, otherwise you will hurt more n more
Your kids feeling is the more important thing.
Keep spirit sister, do the best for your kids not only for your love💪
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Have an Honest talk with your girls. He may be having his way with them. Listen close because they will not tell Right away. Because they will say tell Ani will hurt or yes kill mom sisters or brother or all. I known a few. One is too meny. God bless do your best let them know you love them no matter.
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I’m confused about the punishment part. What do you think he should do when they have attitude? Does he have any rights to discipline them other than taking away electronics? That is a serious conversation to have especially after 3 years. If he is an authority figure in your kids lives, he deserves to have a say and they should respect that. Trust me when I say that causes issues. If you’re serious about him sticking around and he’s serious about staying, those kids turn into his kids too. Just something to think about coming from a mom with bonus (step) children
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Its time you sat down and really think about your feelings. I dont think your in love with him. End the relationship now before your kids start to suffer. You deserve more. You have yourself a man child. Send him back to his mum
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Your first warning was that he was still living at home at close to thirty. The fact dad was split up was warning two. Kick this guy hard and fast to the curb. He wasn’t shy and quiet . He was figuring out what he could get away with.
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He’s paying for all of the rent?? I think honestly the split is even. Kind of sexist to expect him to pay for everything. If I’m reading it incorrectly I apologize. Communicate with him how you feel and if you feel like you can’t even communicate then that’s your answer. Relationships are basically communication, communication, and more communication.
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There’s always 3 sides to every story! Don’t be so quick to judge you’ve only heard a small fraction of what’s really going on.
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Get out listen to your family they’ll see things you don’t I just got out of a 13year relationship only to find out most of it was fake my family tried telling me the last few years but I didn’t listen we have children together and your kids don’t need to see you hurt by someone you deserve to be loved like no other
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Men aren’t mind readers, if something bothering you INITIATE CONVERSATION. If he avoids conversation in private (not around kids/other people) then you know where you stand…it may not be anything to do with you at all and a problem that’s bugging him that he cannot figure out for himself.
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You are setting a bad example for your kids…kick.him.out he’s a user/loser
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You know it’s over for you, because you asked when do you know it’s over? He is tooo content at this moment. You need to have a real heavy talk with him. If he can’t get with the program then it’s really time to go.
Wish you the best!
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BIG WARNING: This is the most common set up for pedophiles. They find a lonely woman with kids and move in. Be very attentive to his behavior around your kids. Don’t move men into your home if you have kids. Read the statistics. Put your love life on hold because you’ve got 3 kids. This man is contributing very little to your life if you are worrying about him paying his part for cleaning supplies (does he help with the housework?)
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Tell him were the door is.
I was with the same bloke for 30 years married for 28 of them . He only paid the half rent .I paid everything else. Went he did work he give me a little we had 8 kids and was abuse to me and them but I just found out he had darks secrets… and was doing drugs so I told him to get … now it’s just me and my 3 young children…
I should of left him years ago …
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Why are you paying for things he uses for one thing! And if he didn’t pay for your kid’s devices, why would you let him have control over their use! And why should he treat your kids the way he does? That would be the day I’d be putting up with him! I wasn’t always this way! In my younger days I’d be the one needing help in leaving a terrible relationship because I grew up being controlled and allowed guys to treat me very badly as well! Thank goodness I got to the point I wasn’t willing to put up with mistreatment from anyone anymore ! I never had kids, but you need to think about what’s best for them as well! Your daughters shouldn’t grow up thinking they deserve to be treated the way you allow yourself to be treated and your son certainly doesn’t need to learn how to be a man from this guy! And he should be buying his own personal hygiene products!
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Hell no. If he isn’t a part of your family and acts like an ass then it’s not right. How can a man move in with a woman, sponge off of her and her 3 kids? He can’t. Not a man at all. If you love a woman and her kids then you might move in together. If he hasn’t married you yet then he never will. He is just a kid. You and your kids deserve better. Try shopping in the Men’s section
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How is him punishing your kids by taking their belongings away after they disrespected a bad thing ?
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When you know that staying in the relation only makes the two of you miserable
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Have you talked to him…tell him it feelings ask wuesy it’s easy for all of us to jump to conclusions but until you figure out the bottom line you will never have closure…talk to him
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Kick his ass out and move forward with your children. This is toxic to the core.
Moved in for bad reasons from the start. Run
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That’s where communication comes in, you need to have a meeting with this guy and talk about the plan just up front speak out! Ooohh if he’s being mean and ugly to your kids that’s a no no girl get rid of him! My kids do not touch! Best Wishes! To you! 
He doesn’t have it in him to call it quits.
Do it for him.
He’s suffering more than you.
He’s just internalizing it.
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Its time to let him go or things are most likely to get worse
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if there is any doubt its time to leave
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TALK TO HIM! Find out what’s really going on inside his head. Depression, anxiety, stress, these are all things that can completely change a persons attitude. Some people, like me, deal with those issues by basically shutting down. But you need to talk to him and find out, the issues you two may be having could all be stemming from something else inside his head, rather than how much he is (or isn’t) interested in continuing your relationship.
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Tell him how you feel. From how ur relationship started to how it is now. Communication and empathy is the key. Talk to him kindly. If he doesn’t understand then leave. But break it to him kindly.
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One of you gotta move out when the lease is up
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I think you know what to do otherwise none of you will be happy, talk to him and tell him you want him to leave it’s not working
Seems like you’re in an arrangement. There is no relating. Get yourself into therapy where you can sort out your needs and then communicate to him
It’s how you feel that matters , know one else is in your shoe’s and they can’t answer for you. Best of luck
First prepare. Learn your State’s laws and definitions regarding domestic partnership. Make sure he can’t touch what is yours. Plan out any expenses that this separation might cause. Try to anticipate his reaction and plan accordingly. Stay two steps ahead of him. When your set, it is time you sit down. Let him know you need to separate to work on yourself and the kids’ behavior problems. Say that separation is necessary because it is unfair for everyone to live under too much stress. If you think he will get unstable, get professional help. Transition out family counseling. And most importantly, start getting some family counseling sessions for you and the kids. This type of dysfunctional house can breed future depression or anxiety. Your kids need to unlearn all that they have been put through. And now it is time to recreate the VIBE in your home. You are strong happy woman rebuilding a life on your own. The kids NEED you to only focus on THEM for a long time. No more settling.
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Communication is key in any relationship, so I would take that route first. Sit him down, tell him how you feel, let him know things need to change. If he won’t listen or refuses to work on your relationship, then it’s time to cut ties and end things with him.
That’s kinda how my relationship is and I love it. Been together 6 years. No arguing no fighting. But I don’t like attention so works for me. I guess.
It’s time for him to go. He is being emotionally abusive and controlling you by that method. He will most likely become more abusive as time goes by. Please end the relationship for the sake of your children. CPS may enter the picture at some point and if the children speak to them about emotional abuse, your children may be relocated. Please, your loyalty is to your children at this point in your life. Do you have some family that could help you? Do something! Do not put up with this…
Well to me…it sounds like he no longer wants to be there and has turned to using you instead because he either doesn’t have anywhere to go, or he’d rather stay there and do whatever he wants, because he feels like you don’t have the guts to let it go.
I’d talk to him first though to try and see where his head is at.
I’m with Cathy Anderson on this one. You should be asking yourself if your happy and are your kids happy? Is this what you want for the rest of your life? You can clearly see that he is abusing his position in this relationship.
Hate to say it, but it sounds like he may have someone else already.
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My ex boyfriend was like that too and I ended it after 2 years because he was just straight selfish and didn’t pitch in not even help clean or cook nothing but just pay half the rent and not a penny more. I got sick of it and had to ask him constantly for help with the house. When he left my house and kid was way more peaceful. The 80/20 split for house upkeep was a real deal breaker.
Oh no! Kick his ass to the curb NOW! He’s taking advantage for sure, he would have been gone when he started telling my kids what to do!
Does he pay 4 internet? He shouldn’t control that if u pay 4 it. Why doesn’t he pay 4 food? U need 2 tell him 2 step up & split that or pitch n some other way. Doesn’t sound like he’s pulling his weight.
As someone that has been married for 47 yrs… thats not love …move on
Sounds like he has checked himself out so now he needs to move physically from around you and your kids…
Ask your self if your daughters were in this kind of relationship would you tell them to stay or would you tell them to walk away…
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Time to move on. There is someone out there who will treat you how you should be treated.
Its very strange he only pays half the rent… hes using you … my boyfriend doesnt even live with me but he is always buying me our weekend food when he comes over… spoils me to wonderful holidays on cunard cruises … for my birthday September a cruise for 4 days around uk … now it a man does love you he will spoil you
these questions frustrate me becuse i know you already know the anserw. if he only pays rent and isnt paying foe other thing YOUR CHILDREN NEED THEN WHO TF IS HE TO BE PLAYING DADDY IF HES NOT TAKING ON THE WHOLE ROLE OF BEING A FATHER
When I find her stuff being stored in my home
Sounds like you answered your own question…this doesn’t seem like a relationship
It’s too much for him to handle-this is how he’s communicating by changing his behavior
Sounds like he is using you . Time to pack his stuff and say you have (set amount of time to get out) 1 week to get out and if he throws a fit then say theres the door especially if hes not on the lease or mortgage. Girl you deserve to be happy and from the sounds of it your far from it… life is to short to be unhappy. Know your self worth
Dump him. Why is this even a question?? Stick to your gut. Kids should always come first, the second he doesnt treat them right, should’ve kicked him to the curb. 
Get him out, he should have no control over your kids, he is not present or contributing to anything.
he…does sound a bit controlling. and a man should always pay when you go out. he should also help with the bills and such. especially if he’s living there on your dime.
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Go with what your gut tells you. Ask him what’s going on first then make a decision.
You already know the answer to this question…just do it.
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Sounds like he’s had enough. There’s always two sides to the story. He takes the kids devices away but doesn’t beat them?
When there’s no commitment and no marriage licence this is bound to be the result. He has nothing to hold him to as they are not his children and no doubt he’s looking or has already looked for greener pastures!
When u know and decide its not worth it but why is this asked once a week?
When they only come around for sex