Here’s what I think you knew after having your first child that things were not right and you still stayed and had 2nd child. You were blindsighted by him he has no respect for you when he cheated etc plus moneywise puts you in bad position. Pity you didn’t leave earlier. Now sort out job or get back to Education it’s the way forward. Get out now you will do fine with your children on your own. I’ve seen it over and over again children before marriage don’t seem to work. Relationships needs to be based on foundation…
Call your local domestic violence shelter. They can help you with getting on state benefits for a bit, helping with a job and housing, and child care. He put his hands on you, he is ignoring his responsibilities (from one SAHM to another, we actually work the equivalent of 2.5 full time jobs, so when he says he is tired after work, he is full of shit), I mean this screams RED ALERT. Get out for the sake of those babes
Read what you just wrote as if you were a friend of yours, what would you tell her to do? I left after 9 years not because it was terrible but just because it wasn’t the relationship that I wanted, much happier now
My decision was made after “should I leave if I’m unhappy”. No reason needed. You are unhappy. Leave. BOOM
Noone can tell u when to leave hun . U will leave when u have had enuf it may take months or years but once you r out you wil wonder y u didn’t do it sooner.
I don’t understand how he take off on the weekend and you let him back in. Why? He need to be gone.
Are you blind? Isn’t the writing written plainly on the wall. Go and get your life.
Get out while the getting is good. You will find a way .I left with 5 kids, and made my life so much happier. I found there really was a life to be lived and so did my kids.
Your kids are too young to blame you for anything. Start off by getting a job and putting the kids in a daycare or getting a stay at home job. That way you can save up and pay for a house keeper to help you with the house. Start living like you’re already single and remove yourself emotionally from him. Have boring sex. Start burning the dinner. Only when you get close to leaving. He doesn’t even have to know about the stay at home job if he’s at work anyway. Only do this if you’re really ready to leave. You can’t be lazy and comfortable
Time to go. He never should put his hands on you
‘When you are not over him but you are over it’ …
Gees just get out,somehow, there are places to go for help
Get a pt job show him you have options.
1st time he is argumentative
The best thing you can do is sit his assdown real talk put everything on the table find out where your marriage stands 2 kids God bless
Face it. It’s over. Think of you, and the future.
Yes! You’re not happy, he’s a cheater, he’s abusive. What more needs to happen? Get out now!
Start by going to a domestic violence shelter. It will suck but they will help you get on your feet. Sounds to me like this guy is a piece of crap who is depressed and doesnt care to help the situation.
If you don’t work outside the home, it’s your responsibility to do the housework and take care of the kids. You should not have had children without being married. That’s your responsibility as well. Maybe you should get a job and dump his sorry self. You’re doing everything on your own anyway.
LEAVE!!! Or have him leave. I know how it feels to be “stuck” because of dependence. Take a course to help you prepare for self sufficiency. If you need an education to get a job, there are many on line schools. You will find if you prepare yourself to be self supporting. You will find yourself happier because you will focus on the future.
If your daughter was coming to you in the same situation what would you tell her to do? X
Get rid of the loser…
Cheating and physical abuse? Go!
12 years here and counting
We’re 28.
We got married 5 years ago
But that was after we had a year of separation, we were even dating different people but he couldn’t leave without me so he came back and I accepted him as long as he changes which yeah sure he improved himself,
We had many ups and downs
Almost everything you mention
What’s happening in your relationship
At first, I would beg him to spend time with us I would stop myself from living waiting in him, he would even say that I was requesting too much from him that providing was enough, that he was perfect already .
I realize that I needed to change myself, I became a better women, a better sister, a better wife and a better mother
I started living life without him
I even took family pictures which he didn’t attend so it was me and my children’s only.
I always gave him ultimatum
A date to change and I would stick to my word.
He started noticing my change and he did a whole U turn , now he is more than I could ask for
But it took a lot of tears and pain.
You have to have boundaries as a women ,respect and dignity as well.
Only you know what you should take and what you shouldn’t.
But never allowed anyone to abusive you physically ever .
Wow….where to start….he cheated, has laid hands on you physically, never helps, does what he wants. Get a job and leave him. You are using “I can’t stay with family” as an excuse. What is worse for those kids? Watching how their father treats their mother? Or watching mom stand up to physical and emotional abuse? You are playing the victim and making every excuse to stay the victim. I was exactly where you are now. I chose strength and self-respect; I left with my kids. It was the hardest thing I will ever do in my life, but I’m self-sufficient and have never been happier. Stand up momma, you have two kids to raise to be decent human beings. Children live what they learn……they are learning a toxic relationship is normal. Don’t be a victim your whole life -
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How do you know it's time to end a relationship? - Mamas Uncut
Girl run so far away he thinks you died.
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It’s never going to change… get out now.
Leave him! 3 kids!?!?! Should’ve left the 1st one.
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You should never have to ask that question in a relationship.
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I think you answered your own question. If he’s never choosing you, do you really have a relationship?
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When you ask this question
Wait he’s fathered three children in the four years and none are yours?
Why do you feel you are worth so little
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Leave. It’s never gonna be just you. I would have left after the 1st kid
Just walk away, they never change. They bring you down with them, just turn and walk away now. Save yourself more heartache 
So you let this man have not 1, not 2 but 3 kids with someone else while with you? His ass would have been gone with the first one!
galore listen to your gut it’s telling you to … whatever you do DONT GO BACK TO THE EX either
I left after 16 yrs. Believe me you’ll know when its time to call it quits
If he;s gonna use cheesy Fast and Furious lines on you maybe you should tell him “I live my life a quarter mile at a time” and then tell him his quarter mile is about up
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He has had 3 kids since y’all have been together??
Run and Run Fast!
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You find someone who values you the first time around instead of making you wait around. He’s in tha way!
Lol listen to your ex I think he’s telling you what you don’t wanna hear so your using it in your mind as sabotage
You already know the answer to your question. It’s time to leave it.
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Remember, your ex is an ex for a reason! Have you ever thought your ex doesn’t want you and at the same time he doesn’t want anyone else to have you either?
You already know the answer.he won’t change. You don’t believe you deserve to be treated like that? Just leave.find someone new who will treat you with the same respect you give.straighten your crown now.
Why you still talking to your ex?
Why should it change? You’ve allowed him to keep getting away with things.
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Should have left after the first kid in my opinion 
like girl he’s out here raw dogging women and you STILL think he gives a fuck about you? If he cared he never would have laid down with another women.
If you have to ask “is it time to end it?” Then I think deep down you already know it is… you deserve someone to put you first, have no others they entertain, and makes sure you don’t feel this way.
Cheat once on you and he always be doing it.The trust is gone.so leave him. I know I would have left.
If you’re asking this question, it’s time to leave.
When you have to ask questions like how do you know when it’s time? The time is now.
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Cheating is a red I would have left then…
But now your are asking yourself “is it time to end it”, that right there says enough ITS TIME TO MOVE ON PICK YOURSELF UP, SMILE AND SAY I DESERVE MORE IK MY WORTH & IM OUT…be wise about decisions cause staying after red are shown is not gd.
Your ex is right time to go
Why have you stayed for so long? No he won’t change because you enabled every wrong he’s done to you. You are his “ride or die” cause you’ve proven he can do anything he wants and get away with it. Why do you not love yourself enough to choose you? Why are you waiting for him to prove to you you’re worthy of much more when you need to do that for yourself?
Wait, why are you still talking to your ex first off? And second, your current BF has fathered 3 children with other women while I’m a relationship with you? Why TF would you even stick around? You are worth more than that! Kick the ex and current guy to the curb. They both are toxic garbage!
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You have more than enough proof Run fast live your life .
run before you end up with his kid and it will be a lot harder.
If you are asking if he’ll ever choose you, you already have your answer. Men like that very rarely change unfortunately. I had my share of exactly what you are going through.
You deserve much better, personally I’d quit now, you’ve already put in so much time without him changing are you really ready to put in more time to be potentially let down and heart broken ?
When you have to ask strangers on Facebook “when it’s time?”. You’re past due boo
Get out get out now!
Uhm… he’s cheated ATLEAST 3 times. Since he has had 3 babies while with you. He’s not letting that go anytime soon. And you’re still talking to your ex ? About your private relationship? Sounds like neither of you are doing each other any good
When the feelings are gone you’ll feel a huge weight off of your chest. You’ll feel true peace when it’s over
WOW… it’s really not that hard… if u not happy with him just leave… there’s no need for you to be whining everyday. Just pack up and hit the road and quit making him miserable
I’m so confused. Whose the ex ? Whose the bf ?
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Why you dodging all the like their not there… run 
It’s time to end it when you ask the question how do you know it’s time to end a relationship.
Your current boyfriend has cheated numerous times n has 3 kids that aren’t yours in these 4 years and he probably uses the excuses oh we were broken up when I got with her right?
Your ex seems to know more then he’s letting on about how he knows your current boyfriend is using you.
Girl, you know what to do. You just don’t want to admit it.
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Wait…he has had three kids during your relationship? Leave 3 kids ago….
He won’t change. Why are you still with him? You’ll always be just one of many.
He’s had 3 kids and you’re still with him? The amount of stupidity in this post 
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I’m confused, theres an ex and a guy youve been with for 4yrs? Either way the guy cheating isnt going to change. If you dont want a cheater, dump him and find someone else.
You’re kidding right? He’s had THREE kids with other women while he’s been with you, and you still have to ask what to do? Seriously? Do you need an intervention? You need an intervention. No. He’s never going to pick just you. You are not his ride or die. You’re his sure thing piece while he goes out and screws everything else. You don’t have a ring, and you aren’t a tree. You can move. So do it. And after 500 people here telling you to leave, if you don’t, that’s the life you’re choosing.
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I’m dying to know, what is it he wants from you??
Run now Don’t Look Back❣️You Deserve Better‼️
Leave!!! Don’t even tell him just do it!!!
why are you still there? hes showing you what he is, believe it… you allow this behavior, it will continue…
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You really have to ask? You know the answer…
Is this a joke? He has other kids from cheating and you’ve seen other messages and u stay???
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You ain’t his ride or die. You’re just convenient.
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You must be paying the bills.
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If ur asking then u already know
I would’ve left after the 1st kid… 3? Girl put yo glasses on! RUNNN!!
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Maybe you should talk more with your ex. He seems to be the only one with sense here.
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Ummm what? He has 3 kids, while cheating and you stayed. Read that again. What you tell your kids, friends or family? I would of left the first time he cheated!
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Wait, wait, wait. This dude had THREE kids with other women, during your relationship?? That’s how I read the post. And you’re still with him?? At this point, you’re only hurting yourself. The end was the first kid. Hell, before the first kid. Pack your things and leave. Leave your ex alone, too.
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Shit some of these posts are down right stupid man! Wakey wakey sunshine 
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Not sure why your wasting your time asking this you know the answer. Move on you will find someone who loves you to the moon and back
Run. If he wanted to change he would have already.
Take the blinders off honey , take all that love and put it into yourself , that’s so sad 
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You deserve better. Leave.
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I am sad that you think you have to accept this
He will not change,praying that you realize your worth. You deserve better and there is someone out there who will treat you better and love you like you love them.
I’m confused. What’s the question here. Four years he’s had three kids and you’re waiting for a neon sign that it’s time to walk away? Also you’re talking to your ex…… get some therapy.
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I honestly don’t even really understand this question. Why are you still talking to your ex for 4 years and why is he popping out 3 kids behind your back in those years? This should be a no brainer. It seems neither of you are capable of being completely loyal to eachother. Honestly, the 3 of you should all be single so you can individually figure your shit out because this situation is beyond a mess.
Three kids while y’all were together? He has never been yours .
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One baby wasn’t enough 
When you ask this question it’s time
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It’s not just his choice to decide if you are what he wants. What do you want? Personally I would leave.
If I understand this post correctly I don’t think anything anyone says is going to be enough to make you wake up! Learn your self worth!! No man is worth putting up with this 
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Wants his cake and eat it too. Smh