It has to be 50 /50 IF NOT IT DOESN’T WORK
Get up and get out.
I promise it will all work out for you. And be a whole lot easier for you by the sounds of it all. Good luck darling, please be kind to yourself 
The relationship that your children are seeing right now is what they will carry into their adult life. I never had a abuse in my marriage but there was no love there, I decided my children deserve more than that. I did not want my son to think this is how a man treats his wife, and I didn’t want my daughter to think this is how wife deserves to be treated. I was in a 20 years probably should get out sooner
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Wow some of these responses… way to shame her ladies 
just remember its so easy to pass judgement when you haven’t walked a day in her shoes…most people are doing the best they can with what they have, or how they know how.
It sounds like he has mental health things he needs to straighten out.
I have no advice, because other than the SAHM I could have written this. But i felt a strong need to tell you that you are not alone. You are resilient and will figure this out!
I guess if you think it can be saved get you, him and yourselves (together) into therapy. If you are done done or he won’t get help trying to save your family then try to find resources to leave… at the very least try to take a break away if you can…but be ready for outcomes you may not be ready for.
I know I’m a stranger, but if you want to talk feel free to PM me.
You’ve got this mama!
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‘‘He’s cheated several times, physically put his hands on me, calls me names in front of the children,’’ Girl, YOU NEED THERAPY! This shit should NOT be tolerated. Realize your self worth because it’s worth way more than that sack of shit! LEAVE
Honey your in a abusive relationship get out now before it gets worse and your children really see something horrible. Believe me I know first hand. There are organizations that can help you get out and back on your feet for domestic violence. Please do whatever you have to for those babies before it’s too late. He sounds like a narcissist and it only gets worse the longer you stay.
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Leave! And make sure you make him responsible for his children. Child support and visitation!!! Lead by example when it comes to your children. And show him what your made of!!! You got this! You are stronger that you think you are!!!
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Girl! Sign up for some assistance (go to your local county office) and get on a waiting list for housing IMMEDIATELY.
This will only remain the same if not get worse. I mean, can it get worse. Yeah I guess it could.
But it’s BAD ENOUGH as is.
You have to leave him.
I know you have no resources SO do what I am telling you.
They will help guide you on the rest. Insurance, child support, food, living, etc
Get out . Get out now.
Like seriously, go visit that office THIS WEEK!
Happy home, not what they’re experiencing 
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Now, now is the time. I stayed and it is my greatest regret for me and my children.
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Girl get the fuck out! I stopped reading at “he put hands on me”. Get the fuck out!!! You got kids to think about.
Leave… Your kids are very young they will be fine. This will be your life if you don’t get out.
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I’m sorry, but any man that lays hands on a woman, or anyone for that matter, is NOT worthy of love and respect. Get yourself and your kids out of that situation before something terrible happens, please. Call your local police department to ask for information on the nearest women’s shelter. They will help you get on your feet!
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The kids will not blame you for anything when they are old enough to understand. Cheating and putting hands on you is NOT love and they don’t need to learn that it is. Don’t stay for the kids….leave for the kids. They deserve a happy momma. There is help that you can receive to get on your feet. Check into all your options and make a plan. You will be soooo much happier momma and those kids will thank you for it.
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First go to a church and talk to the leaders, pray and ask for help to find some place safe for you and the kids. If he has put hands on you ,he will eventually do the same to the kids. Take some online course, whichever one that peaks your interest. Pray,pray and pray again for guidance and peace of mind. You can do this. There have been many women in worse situations that has gotten out and got better. So can you. God bless you
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Kick his ass out and move on. You’re his partner not his mom
First I didn’t get past the cheating and hitting part leave now before your kids don’t have a mother and become his targets
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Yeah take ur kids n get the hell out …been in your situation before
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Leave. You’re in an abusive relationship. Your kids will be fine. Get on welfare if you have to until you can get yourself and kids situated. There’s help out there but you have to want it. Good luck
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Think of it this way. Don’t let your kids think it’s ok to accept this kind of treatment from ANYONE, or that it is acceptable to treat another person in this manner. They are still young enough where they won’t remember very much. Please get help.
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Is he the example you want to set for your kids? If not, get out now!
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I’m not even gonna read it. When you have to ask if it’s time, it’s probably time.
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Where there is violence, there is nothing to do, no child or anyone deserves to live like this, look for a job and get ahead.
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Leave and show your kids that they don’t have to stay in an unhealthy relationship when they grow up.
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Drop his ass like a used condom!
dont give me i am staying for the kids ,. thats an age old excuse for not being strong enough . he is only your room mate not a husband or father …there are so many agencies out there to help you get on your feet .if you are afraid of him go get a pfa
on him just dont stay some where you are olny being used
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Should never have had children. Then you could have walked away !
Get out don’t waste your time being unhappy , you will manage on payments as well as his payments . Don’t live beyond your means be happy
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Apply for a apartment based on your income. Take him to court for child support. Get a job.
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I think now would be good.
Send him packing. Aint no “man” gonna lay up in his girls home and do nothing. A “boy” will but not a man. Kids are happier in 2 happy homes than one miserable one.
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Get out. He will have to pay support and there is help out there until you get your life in line
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Get a job and his 
can watch the kids while you work. Save up $ and get out of there.
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Please leave before it escalates to a much more dangerous situation. Prayers 
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first huge flag…6+ years and hes still your boyfriend…then it moves on to his being abusive and you tolerating it. All it says GTFO and stop making excuses for what youre putting your children through.
Honestly I would be applying for housing … and finding a job. Apply for whatever you need to do for assistance with daycare. Sadly it probably won’t get any better. Situation isn’t fair either way for the kids! But Your only mindset should be focus on Your children’s best interest and your emotional state. It’s hard ABSOLUTELY… but We find a way to do it ourselves. You got this. Your doing more damage then good if things don’t change soon sadly.
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He got you where he wants you before the kids he had to be good to you cause Jr knew you could walk away anytime you wanted now you have two kids he thinks you can not leave or will not leave because of what you feeling now about the kids.he feels secure you not going anywhere. PACK HIM IN.
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Would you be asking the same question if it was your child being treated the way you are?
I put up with far too much from my abusive ex.
It wasn’t until I noticed my kids watching and repeating his actions I was finally able to leave. It will only get worse and you don’t want your kids thinking it’s acceptable to treat others/ be treated that way. I saw my mom abused all my life so when I found an abusive partner I ‘knew’ it had to be love because it’s what I grew up seeing
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Why in the world would you have kids with a boy friend in the first place, Doesn’t anyone believe in marriage any more?
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If he is abusing you , take the kids and leave .
Don’t put your babies through having to see their mother being mistreated, abused and disrespected. It damages who they are and who they will be, FOREVER. You can make it on your own, it will be hard, but sounds like you’d be better off. Wish you the best of luck!
He has already left the family,better to be on your own
It’s time to leave, babe. You, him & your children deserve something different. You seem to be very outgoing & you may want more in life than a dude who just lies around being a slump.
Get with your local town, county or state and find out how to get help with daycare. Finding a job and also an apartment. The final straw should have been when he put his hands on you physically. Even if he apologizes for 12 years every day its not a matter of if it will happen again but a matter of when and that is no way to live. Being in constant fear of the next push,shove, cuff upside the head, knock down to the ground or even a flight of stairs or even a punch to the face. Not only you but especially the babies deserve to grow up without fear of you or them being hurt or abused
Leave his ass kick him to the curb your kids will never be happy if your not happy and your kids should always come first
It should have ended the first time he abused you verbally or laid a hand on you. Show him what prison looks like. End if now or risk your children doing what he does to you to another woman.
Sounds to me like he has serious depression. Needs help. If you cant help him then get someo e who can. You’re not happy, that will affect your children. If I was in your shoes I would move out with the children and get him to see someone about his depression before it gets worse. Its just my opinion, you dont have to listen.
End the relationship as soon as possible theres help for u out there
In your best interest, you need to file a complaint. There needs to be a paper trail to back you up. I didn’t and he got custody. Then I turned to drugs for yrs. I’m clean now, but my kids don’t have much to do with me now.
Try to find a good man. It hard but
You.can
There are places to help women in your situation like your safe haven. You’re never stuck. Any man that lays his hands on a woman isn’t a man, he’s disgusting trash. Your children learn what a marriage/ relationship is from their parents… and that isn’t a relationship I would personally want my children seeing or being around. Unstable , toxic , and scared. Nope get out ASAP
How hard do you think your life will be if you become a single parent with a fulltime job along with everything else you already do??!! Maybe you need to start with trying to not be so mad at him all the time and try to see his side of life. Cheating is nasty business but so is single parenting. Putting little ones in daycare for 10 hours a day is tough for them.
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I recommend having an open conversation with him, explain what your seeing and feeling and find out what’s going on with him as well. There are counselors and workshops that you can go to that will help guide you in working through these issues. If that works great and if not than maybe consider other options.
I would try to be separated, if he loves you and children, your decision can push him to change the behavior. It is hard time for you! However don’t think what to do from somebody else decisions. It is your life and your both children. May be he is doing something important what you don’t see? Think positive! Good luck.
Leave and make sure you get sole custody and child support. Not worth staying with somebody who treats like that. You don’t want your kids growing up thinking how he acts is ok. But you know what you need to do. Only you can make that decision.
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LEAVE HIM!! Just because he works is no excuse to not help out at home! My partner works 5/6 days a week and he still comes home and helps with whatever i’ve not been able to get done during the hours that he’s been at work. If you went to work he’d still expect you to go home and do all the house work. Just because you have children together doesn’t mean you have to stay together if you aren’t happy. Your children will eventually pick up that you aren’t happy which is no good for them. Just because you might not be with their dad doesn’t mean they won’t get to see him as long as he wants to see them if not then he doesn’t deserve the title dad but to be honest the fact that he doesn’t bathe the kids & just lays around shows that he’s not really bothered in my opinion x
Get yourself some training and then a job. Teach your kids to help you with chores. Prepare yourself for being a single parent, and a good parent.
Time to figure out a new life for you and the children. You can do it - it will be frightening at times but you and them deserve better. Trust me, you will find it. Wishing you all the best.
You dont have to ask; you know what you need to do, so do it and move on. It will be hard, but you are leaving a lifetime of unhappiness behind. Go, do it for you and your childrens’ future.
There are many community, state and church organizations that can help you. From housing, furniture, food, clothing, childcare and maybe future job training.
A one sided story, but if he puts his hands on you without you attacking him, then leave. If you ‘stay together for the kids’ you will be showing the kids that this is what you should expect in a relationship. Leaving them thinking they do not deserve or expect respect from the opposite sex.
I didn’t read the whole but mentioned cheating n putting his hands on you. It’s time to GO. 6 hours, 6 days, 6 weeks, 6 months, 6 years TIME TO GO.
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Yep it’s time to go separate ways, The fact he’s cheated on you and hurt you is enough for itself, the rest just confirms it. Get out and be happy with your kids x
I was right where you are he had an affair for 2 year and got her pregnant it was.oy seeing me break down when I found out that made him see clearly it’s been over a year he desperately wants to make it work has completely changed and things would be better than ever if I could move forward if.i had discovered this before he started.begging to sleep in bed.again begging for.me.to.love him again I would have been able.to.walm and.been.fi e… Get out whyle you can before you waste anymore.time live I wish I had I have been through so so much the pain is neverending.ig only.i had.walked when I was.sure.he.hated.me.when I he would say I don’t nr come home.cause I don’t want to.look at your face…it’s been 16 years together since.his affair we have more.lov and appreciation for each other than ever but it’s slowly destroying me the though of them together overwhelms.my mind and tortures me noting is as it was even my pregnancyemoties are tainted the last message he sent her said we get rid of these demons from our past it’s going to get crazy crazy she said I’m the one that’s pregnant I found out that night and he hasn’t talked to her since I talk to her almost daily
If your thinking about leaving and he treats you that way leave it will be easier in the long run I promise id give anything to have left before I became as trapped as.i am now sending you love and strengh
Start today by making a plan…call shelters, churches and any gov.organization…you can get into a housing apt., food stamps and possible cash if you leave him…many women have done this till they could get on their feet…theres places that provide clothes for women & children…Dont let that hand pressing on your chest thats called fear hold you back…this guy is abusive & living his life without you & std’s are a rotten thing to catch…Point blank- get a good, decent, respectful life for your family!
You’re a single parent anyway. Make it official and give him visitation rights on his days off. The kids go to his house. You can use those days for studying and catching up on housework , and may-be dates with a man who cares for all of you.
Find a job, put kids in daycare, start putting your paychecks aside and than leave when you have enough
He sounds depressed. Talk to him, let him know you are on the verge of leaving and see where his feelings are at. And start looking for a job!
I think it’s more important to show your kids a good example of a loving family than stay with an abusive boyfriend for the sake of just having him around. You’re modeling to your kids what marriage and family life should be. Would you want your daughter to settle for that ?
Find yourself a job. Save your money and get ta steppin as soon as you’re able. File for child support. All of you deserve more. He doesn’t appear to care for you any longer. He feels trapped and is blaming you. Stay and it will onlget worse for all involved.
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LEAVE. HIS. ASS. I’ve had a guy on both ends and one in the middle. No one should evvvvvver put up with being hit, mental abuse or a lazy ass. Now I have a husband who does it ALL and sure he has days he’s tired but he earns it! And he’s always there if I need him. Or any of our children! When you want out bad enough…. You’ll figure out something! There’s nothing like a mama on a mission.
Here’s what I think you knew after having your first child that things were not right and you still stayed and had 2nd child. You were blindsighted by him he has no respect for you when he cheated etc plus moneywise puts you in bad position. Pity you didn’t leave earlier. Now sort out job or get back to Education it’s the way forward. Get out now you will do fine with your children on your own. I’ve seen it over and over again children before marriage don’t seem to work. Relationships needs to be based on foundation…
Call your local domestic violence shelter. They can help you with getting on state benefits for a bit, helping with a job and housing, and child care. He put his hands on you, he is ignoring his responsibilities (from one SAHM to another, we actually work the equivalent of 2.5 full time jobs, so when he says he is tired after work, he is full of shit), I mean this screams RED ALERT. Get out for the sake of those babes
Read what you just wrote as if you were a friend of yours, what would you tell her to do? I left after 9 years not because it was terrible but just because it wasn’t the relationship that I wanted, much happier now
My decision was made after “should I leave if I’m unhappy”. No reason needed. You are unhappy. Leave. BOOM
Noone can tell u when to leave hun . U will leave when u have had enuf it may take months or years but once you r out you wil wonder y u didn’t do it sooner.
I don’t understand how he take off on the weekend and you let him back in. Why? He need to be gone.
Are you blind? Isn’t the writing written plainly on the wall. Go and get your life.
Get out while the getting is good. You will find a way .I left with 5 kids, and made my life so much happier. I found there really was a life to be lived and so did my kids.
Your kids are too young to blame you for anything. Start off by getting a job and putting the kids in a daycare or getting a stay at home job. That way you can save up and pay for a house keeper to help you with the house. Start living like you’re already single and remove yourself emotionally from him. Have boring sex. Start burning the dinner. Only when you get close to leaving. He doesn’t even have to know about the stay at home job if he’s at work anyway. Only do this if you’re really ready to leave. You can’t be lazy and comfortable
Time to go. He never should put his hands on you
‘When you are not over him but you are over it’ …
Gees just get out,somehow, there are places to go for help
Get a pt job show him you have options.
1st time he is argumentative
The best thing you can do is sit his assdown real talk put everything on the table find out where your marriage stands 2 kids God bless
Face it. It’s over. Think of you, and the future.
Yes! You’re not happy, he’s a cheater, he’s abusive. What more needs to happen? Get out now!
Start by going to a domestic violence shelter. It will suck but they will help you get on your feet. Sounds to me like this guy is a piece of crap who is depressed and doesnt care to help the situation.
If you don’t work outside the home, it’s your responsibility to do the housework and take care of the kids. You should not have had children without being married. That’s your responsibility as well. Maybe you should get a job and dump his sorry self. You’re doing everything on your own anyway.
LEAVE!!! Or have him leave. I know how it feels to be “stuck” because of dependence. Take a course to help you prepare for self sufficiency. If you need an education to get a job, there are many on line schools. You will find if you prepare yourself to be self supporting. You will find yourself happier because you will focus on the future.
If your daughter was coming to you in the same situation what would you tell her to do? X
Get rid of the loser…
Cheating and physical abuse? Go!
12 years here and counting
We’re 28.
We got married 5 years ago
But that was after we had a year of separation, we were even dating different people but he couldn’t leave without me so he came back and I accepted him as long as he changes which yeah sure he improved himself,
We had many ups and downs
Almost everything you mention
What’s happening in your relationship
At first, I would beg him to spend time with us I would stop myself from living waiting in him, he would even say that I was requesting too much from him that providing was enough, that he was perfect already .
I realize that I needed to change myself, I became a better women, a better sister, a better wife and a better mother
I started living life without him
I even took family pictures which he didn’t attend so it was me and my children’s only.
I always gave him ultimatum
A date to change and I would stick to my word.
He started noticing my change and he did a whole U turn , now he is more than I could ask for
But it took a lot of tears and pain.
You have to have boundaries as a women ,respect and dignity as well.
Only you know what you should take and what you shouldn’t.
But never allowed anyone to abusive you physically ever .
Wow….where to start….he cheated, has laid hands on you physically, never helps, does what he wants. Get a job and leave him. You are using “I can’t stay with family” as an excuse. What is worse for those kids? Watching how their father treats their mother? Or watching mom stand up to physical and emotional abuse? You are playing the victim and making every excuse to stay the victim. I was exactly where you are now. I chose strength and self-respect; I left with my kids. It was the hardest thing I will ever do in my life, but I’m self-sufficient and have never been happier. Stand up momma, you have two kids to raise to be decent human beings. Children live what they learn……they are learning a toxic relationship is normal. Don’t be a victim your whole life -
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How do you know it's time to end a relationship?
Girl run so far away he thinks you died.
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It’s never going to change… get out now.
Leave him! 3 kids!?!?! Should’ve left the 1st one.
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You should never have to ask that question in a relationship.
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