I hear alot of you asking about love… Nothing in that statement leaves much room for love of another let alone of herself…get out he knows exactly what he is doing
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Wow, I am so sorry for the way that you’re being treated. I personally think that the first thing you need to do is to find a therapist. You need to learn how to speak up for yourself, establish boundaries and enforce them. You’re letting them walk all over you for fear of being shamed but not having a voice and avoiding conflict is making you miserable. Last I checked, what YOU think about you if much more important than what other people think of you. Also, a therapist will help you through the process whether it’s coming up with a plan to leave or stay.
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Lady leave your only teaching your children how to be adults your son watches his father treat you like a house slave and men do no wrong and your daughters that all a woman should want and do is plz the man and your slowly loosing yourself i can hear your pain and desperation… Leave and do it for you and your childrens future
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You only live once dear. Make the best of it! Talk to hubby, put that foot down. You are mama! You run the house! You make sure it doesnt fall apart, the kids are cared for and the food is done for dinner! If they cant appreciate you or work with you it’s time to get out. No sense in waiting your life with people who are making you unhappy you deserve happiness.
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I am trying to figure out how anyone would say to have a discussion and work this out. Working out the Mom issue deserves discussion. Working out the nephew and niece deserves discussion. Discussion of the emotional abuse this woman is going thru isn’t going to solve anything and in fact will more than likely make it worse. Add on top the husband will go to his mommy and complain and then get her involved. Peace out of that hot mess. It is better to be a single mom than your children see you go thru that kind of abuse
Time to make an appointment with a counselor for yourself to get clarity. This is a very difficult decision and going to a counselor for “you” will bring you strength to do what “you” need to decide.
All I want to say is the Snapchat issue and being accused of cheating…when you clearly have not…could be red flags…
But that’s only based on my experience
You know when you’re done but times are also stressful for everyone. Clear and Concise Communication is the only thing that helps
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From the moment you see he attacks you for everything his mom says … Thats the sign …he prefers his mom over you and we all know you should love your parents but the family you create will always come first. He isn’t respecting you and he gives you no voice nor rights… Its like what you say has no value… You are in the wrong house surrounded by the wrong people. And i would say he definitely has someone else his messing with… Now is the time to get out… What will u wait on ? To finally see how he destroy you and at the end see how he is cheating for you to realize that it wasn’t worth staying? If he would love you he would never treat you they way he is doing. That isn’t love… Ask your self if he treated you the same way when u guys just started the relationship… Get out and look at it from a distance… Everything gets more clear and u will see what we all seeing …
from the minute you question your self if its time to leave its because its already time… A happy person never question her self
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Don’t ever stay in a toxic relationship just because kids are involved! Always put your kids first and if that means leaving a relationship to better yourself and give your kids a healthier environment then do it, I suggest start with just a separation for the time being and if the two of you can co-parent better that way rather than being together then you know that it’d best to stay separate and then go from there with divorce and continue to co-parent. I know for myself I was 3 months pregnant with my oldest son who will be 4 this year and I had to leave my relationship with his dad and to be quite honest his dad and I are better off friends and co-parent quite well. Hugs to you and I wish you the best for yourself and your kids❤
Sorry to hear that you are going through this. I would try to talk to him and let him know just how you are feeling and how it is affecting. If he acts like he isn’t concerned or just plain out doesn’t care then it’s time to move on. It sounds like a controlling relationship and I have been there myself. It doesn’t get any easier ecspecially if you love someone but at least talk and give the benefit of the doubt. Sometimes in laws can have a very bad effect on relationships as well. I hope it gets better for you
Draw your line. Seriously take some time to figure out where your line is and draw it…dont draw it in sand (metaphorically). Draw it in concrete (metaphorically). What im saying is find where you feel enough is enough and dont keep making excuses for him or his family. Having a parent happy over stressed is the best for kids. If a man wants to change, he will. He is not going to keep making excuses for not changing.
Honey, figure out if you want to stay and continue to hope for change or if you are ready to move on. It truly is all up to you. You just need to think serious for a good moment.
I would honestly address the situation with him first. Let him know how you’re feeling, dont mention the wanting to leave part. Not yet anyway. If thing don’t improve let him know youre not happy and that you think it would be best to separate.
If you’re asking, chances are you don’t see any hope. If you don’t feel loved, and you don’t feel respected, maybe you should move on. You’re not worthless. No one should be treated like a second class dish rag. If you don’t want your children seeing it for what it is, then you need to make changes. Even if that means leaving. Hope you can find some peace
Get the hell out cuz that’s what happen to me I couldn’t dill it u either kick out ur mom dad his sister s an brother or I was leaving hem u want ur family there or I am leaving
You need to get out he’s controlling and you deserve better you don’t need to be treated that way
I’ve always have found in my 48 years on this earth 
… if they accuse you of it… either their thinking about cheating… or have already cheated! If that man don’t know your value… 
bye b****!
I had the best mother in law and she lived next door to us
Time to let go. Your gut will tell you when the right time will be. You don’t deserve any of this. No one does. Be strong. 
MIL needs to move out along with the rest of his family. This is pure torture
Oh nothing about this relationship should ok. You are not his puppet.
How important is your marriage ?
He’s a narcissist and he is gaslighting you. Leave him.
How do you know when it’s time to end a relationship?
When you ask yourself that question.
Sounds like your husband is an asshole and your mom is a bitch that has her eyes on your husband wanting his praise.
You can’t change people, so change yourself. Don’t give them the power to take your happiness away.
Focus on yourself and your kids. Let all else worry about themselves. Once you stop giving them the power they will step back and question themselves.
You will know the heart don’t lie
Yeah I think it’s time. 
You deserve so much more.
Id leave life is too short someone will appreciate everything he isn’t.
I didn’t have to get past sentence 4. It sounds like a good idea to separate.
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Now is enough. You just need to leave someone like that. I’m not saying cheating is right either, but it’s no wonder that you did.
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It’s time to end it. Your children shouldn’t see , hear their parents problems. Hopefully things will get better for you!
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Well WHY do you. Move back home start over, be sane.
DO JUST THAT RUN!!! a you both are toxic please leave before it get to physical. The kids will be fine eventually. But it your marriage so it’s up to you. Pray on it
At this point you know how he treats you is wrong and you’re not happy… Stop worrying about the why… & just go…
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I think you know what needs done. It’s really up to you if you want to continue to live the way you do and waste more time in a very toxic marriage.
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You need to leave mama.
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Love,leave! I’m going through the same exact thing except my husband will sit in the living room all night, never come to bed…or he will leave the house, sometimes hone from 12-20 hours at a time! I’ve been through the drug stage, emotional, verbal, and physical abuse…2 domestic violence charges in 2 months…him going to prison and giving him a second chance. I found meth in my home last night and that was the final straw, I’m in the process of finding funding for a divorce and a eviction to get him away from Myself and my kids. If your children are even telling you to leave…please listen!!
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stand-up for you and your kids. you are showing your kids that its oknto be treated like that. leave! I know it may sound daunting but you are one strong mom bear and you can do it. reach out to your old friends I bet they will open the door for you
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Shuu ,it’s a lot but all I can say that choose you ,no one else will do it for you.
Bonus your children support you, so choose you.
Love and light
Leave. He sounds horrible and worse, he doesn’t even try to change for the better.
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I would think to yourself about what you would say to one of your children if the roles were reversed and it was one of them in this relationship. If you wouldn’t want your child to stay there’s you answer. You would never want this for your children or someone you love so love yourself enough to walk away. It sounds like you’ve given more than enough. Life is too short & too precious to stay in something that brings so much unhappiness. You are worth way more than this 
you have a whole life yet to live!
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Oh heck no
Get tf out of there ! You get one lifetime to be happy !
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I think you should have ended it a long time ago. Love sucks but nothing is going to make this work.
Either pack your stuff up and go. Or pack his stuff up and kick him out.
What else needs to happen? Would you want your kids to be in a relationship like this? Would you want your daughter to be treated this way? Would you want your son to treat someone this way?
I hope the answer is no. So leave.
You know the answer, go. Do it for yourself & your kids. You all deserve better then that.
You already know what you have to do, you can woman up and leave his ass or live your life in a loveless toxic marriage that you’ll never find true happiness in. That choice is yours. Do you love yourself enough to jump out of your comfort zone?
Omg are you my neighbor? Lol I hear the guy yelling all the time 
and he sounds mean just like that 
Try marriage counseling first
Both of you both need to make changes. Is there still love.
Leave.
It’s not gonna get any better. You’re just gonna suffer and make yourself miserable
It sounds as if this happen a while back and even counseling didn’t work. He seems ticked that someone else could actually give you what he won’t and as far as his lame excuse that there wasn’t sex involved bc he was too drunk is just that lame bc it just says that if he hadn’t been so intoxicated he would have so that tells you there he didn’t care then and has made no effort to care now either. You both are teaching your children that this is as good as it gets when you marry young, have kids, drift and mishaps happen and you tolerate each other and the guilt and grow miserable bringing everyone down to your levels in the process. No affair is ever one sided, no I don’t condone them but they happen when like you said there mental/physical abuse involved and it’s an escape route for some. Go while you are still young and I can almost guarantee you and your kids will be a lot happier and your husband will be probably as well - it’s never to late to start over and there is nothing wrong with it either. Good luck in whatever choice you make but I truly hope it’s the one that make you happy again.
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He’s still abusive. DON’T WALK, RUN. If your kids are telling you to divorce then y’all are LONG overdue for a divorce.
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It’s hard to leave something you are use to. You’ve been with him for so long the change will be different. Your life will change. I understand that fear. But darling, the change will be for the better. No matter what mistakes you have made in your marriage, he made some too. Sounds like you have faced yours and hes not. Hes blaming. And he does not have the right to treat you this way. Its abuse. Leave him and find happiness within yourself and for your children’s sake. It’s never easy but very worth it. Do it now. Get out. Best of luck
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I’d say time to go, prob should run.
Leave. You should have left when he cheated.
I can relate to a lot of things here…I once read a quote saying something along the lines that people would rather stay in a negative relationship/situation that’s familiar rather than leave because of the unknown and it completely makes sense.
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News flash…he is still abusive…time to call it quits.
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He sounds gross. And fyi, Playstations always say that when you unplug it without shutting it down. It does nothing to the Playstation at all. He’s dramatic.
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Like you said you have been with him more than you have been alone, part of you wants to fix it it because of this, but you are not doing you or your kids any good staying. From the sounds of it your kids will thank you.
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You sound like an amazing, patient person. You deserve love. Time to go find it. Best of luck to you.
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Sweetheart you need to leave him asap! My sister went through this. She stayed with her partner for the kid’s. He was rotten to her right from the beginning. He would cheat, and then try saying it was due to my sister 
. Classic Narcissistic behavior.
My sister ended up being diagnosed with terminal cancer in 2019, and he was aweful to her. He abused her and neglected her. It broke my heart when she started telling me just how horrible he was to her 
.
Please for your sake, and for the sake of your kid’s, leave him!
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The only real question: are you better off with him? If the answer is NO, then leave. You have already decided it is no, you just are reluctant to leave that nest. Time to go, the longer you wait, won’t make it easier.
I stopped at “My kids tell us to divorce”.
What would you tell your children if they asked you this?
You already know.
Starting over isn’t easy so see every lawyer you can for a consult. Get your priorities in order & go.
Why stay? Everyone is miserable.
Your children should want to immulate your marriage not run from it.
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He sounds like a jerk who has zero interest in ur marriage
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Oh sis his ego is so hurt. Of course he had sex with the other person he’s just trying to be a victim. Just leave. You’re trying your hardest to make it work but his male ego is too bruised to let it go. That’s the thing about some people. They cna never see the wrong in what they did but act like a wounded animal when something is done to them. He’s super toxic. He’s not there for the kids either because he’s not involved. He’s really just trying to make you all miserable because misery loves company. Just unblock everyone he made you block and try to rebuild those relationships then leave. If you’re doing everything he wants and he’s still acting this way you may as well do what you want and be happy 
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You’re in the cycle of abuse that’s why he is nasty then nice it’s so you’ll stay it’ll never get better get out of there and your kids are watching And listening even if you think they don’t know what is going on they do no matter how young they are. I would leave and get them all counseling they will likely end up in toxic/abusive relationships as well. Teach them what they should and should not put up with. There is help out there available to you just research online. I’m sure if you reach out to your family they would help you guys. Abusive people make you cut off your family and friends so that you don’t have anyone to point out their abuse and or help you if you decide to leave. It’s really scary but waiting will only hurt you in the long run. Start putting money aside in your own bank account and make sure you have all of your and your kids paperwork in a safe or bag in your trunk or somewhere that he won’t find it ready to go! If you don’t have money get a job there are a lot of remote jobs available right now or factory jobs everywhere. Make friends with your neighbors and keep a daily log with dates and times to record the abuse like what he did with the flashlight so that you can show your lawyer.
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It been a long time coming I would say. Listen to your children they are telling you.something. Listen to yourself, your head, your heart! It’s time
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In my opinion you have already made up your mind to leave you just don’t know how I went through a very similar experience you’ll know when it time and you won’t look back I did it you can too it made me a better person…is it scary and hard to do??? Damn rite it is but for yourself peace and having a sane mind it’s the right thing your kids will grow up and eventually understand why you did what you did and they will love you even more for it keep your head up and never give up on yourself! Everything will fall into place and you’ll be amazed of how strong you are.
LEAVE he ant worth it you get over it I no I’ve been there I was married 38 years
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And now I’ve got all the love in the world my kids and my granchildren
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The marriage seems extremely toxic… and he seems extremely emotionally immature. I’d say it’s time to move on and be happy.
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It sounds like he has you right where he wants you… he will continue to do what he wants to do and will go in and out of being a real husband on his own terms. But it was over when you had an affair especially if he was previously mentally and emotionally abusive, that’s red flag 
#1. You probably stay because you want your family as a whole and that’s okay, a lot of people go through this but I would most definitely leave. It’s not a healthy marriage and it will drain you. Know your self worth mama 
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It sounds like you need to leave. Staying will not result in your happiness. Your kids will be much happier when you choose to put yourself first.
I’ve been in an abusive relationship before and my daughter who was 4 was majorly picking up on what was happening. Since I’ve left, I’ve been able to focus on myself and was able to be a better mom in the process.
You deserve so much better. You are aware of this because you are reaching out for validation. You need to make that choice to move forward.
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Honey, you and your children need to get out now!!! You all deserve a life that is healthy, happy and full of respect. That home is toxic. You’ll all do so much better out of there.
Go and be happy!
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I left a 20 year marriage because he never respected me. Move on love life is way to short for that crap. Believe me when I tell you, you will hurt at first but it’s so freeing to break free.
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No way I could read all that, but I read enough. Leave his ass today!
This doesn’t sound fixable. I’m sorry
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He is abusive to you and you dont even see it.you are probably just used to it. You deserve so much better.and what your kids see is what they are being taught is okay.i am so sad for you and i hope you get out.soon.
Jesus…girl get out of there.
If you would tell your kids to run. Then run. Which them telling you guys to get a divorce was their way of telling YOU to RUN. Time to throw in the towel mama. Won’t be easy but will be worth it
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Why do you stay? Because it’s easy. It’s convenient. And it’s comfortable. Even though he’s Jekyll and hide you know that and you expect it. And you stay because you already feel so much guilt for your previous actions and you’re afraid to make it worse. My parents divorcing made our lives so much less rocky as kids. We could see how much happier mom was. You deserve to be happy, regardless of your past actions. You can’t change the past but you can change the future. Good luck to you friend.
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I got through about 1/4 of it. Yeah. You should probably divorce.
You’ve basically answered your own question, leave.
If you are asking the question you already know the answer you are just scared of actually making it happen and for al the changes that will happen! People stay in toxic relationships as it’s easier and all the change to make a better life is just to hard I stayed for 7 years and asked this questions to many friends I had one who stood up to me and told me how it was and how it should be and could be!!!
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Sounds like you are afraid of being on your own. Do you work? Don’t beat yourself about the affair. Your husband is being very abusive (mentally) you don’t deserve being treated that way. The only way your going to figure this out is on your own. Good luck hope you find the peace your looking for.
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Leave your very unhappy
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Please don’t spend another day in this relationship, life is too short to spend your days being miserable, and it is not good for your children to be around it. Talk to an attorney about child support and get the heck out of there.
Contact your nearest battered women’s shelter and see if they can direct you to a councilor who can help you with building your self esteem.
If you’re asking. It’s time
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Being in an abusive relationship makes you feel as if you cant leave. You’re too scared to see what’s on the other side of leaving, but I can tell you I have never once regretted leaving a toxic environment. There will be days when you miss the good times(even if there were very few) and you’ll find yourself wanting to go back, but dont. Hes proven to you who he is multiple times. You and your babies deserve better than that.
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Follow the advice you would give your children.
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Do not stay in an unhealthy relationship just for kids. That’s how you teach your kids that this behavior is ok and to keep going back to someone who is toxic.
Get out of that loveless marriage, gain your self respect back. Focus on your children and yourself.
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Leave. It will be hard at first because you have been together for so long. It affects the kids more than you realize.
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Sounds like it’s time to move on for you and the kids. Maybe he will straighten up and realize what’s important in life or maybe you will just get divorced and find peace. Either way I’d make a change
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I would leave him. Hes a jerk. He sounds like my daughters husband only ps4 nothing else he cares about that’s why shes getting rid of him.
I’m just guessing, but you stay because where will you go? How will you support yourself? Who will help with the kids (even if he’s on the PS4 he’s still there if you need to run to the store, etc). It’s a lot to process and it’s not so bad to stay in this marriage when you weigh the pros and cons. Hang in there.
Hit the road!!!
Pack up and go back home!!!
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Sounds like you stay because of being used to being treated that way. Bet he wouldn’t be playing playstation and yelling if you took the cord. Maybe start putting money aside in a hidden envelope or somewhere and get ready to leave
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Leave you are not a tree you don’t need to endure anymore pain and hurt and don’t stay for the kids they’ve told you to get a divorce.
I’d leave and unplug his ps4 if you have to start from scratch so does he. Fuck him you owe him nothing. This is your life too.
you both need to grow up and decide whats important…ylu both cheat on wach other…thats wrong all on its own…your complaining about him doing it yet your doing it as well
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I think you know the answer to your own question…sorry u r going thru this…
If you’re questioning it it’s time to end it
Why do you then?
Open communication with friends and family, some will absolutely Understand you were going through some Stuff and will support you.
Start rebuilding yourself and your support system.
You don’t have to leave this moment but start focusing on your goals, decide on what you want to do and a plan of action.
It has to start somewear .
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