You never know how strong you are until you’re forced to be your own hero. Get out of there, but get your ducks in a row first. Sort somewhere to go, sort out paper work for both you and the kids, it’s hard at first, but you will get there.
3 Likes
Talk about things be open and honest. If no changes are made leave. Staying in a toxic relationship will badly affect the children. Do what is right for you. If your not happy and don’t take care of yourself it’s almost impossible to care for your children. They don’t deserve a toxic father.
2 Likes
Seems to me the ending of your marriage started when mom moved in. And with it being as bad as it seems to be, I’d say it’s time to start thinking about yourself and your future. Time to move on and consider your options. Good luck!!!
2 Likes
More often then not, the one that does the accusing first is the one that’s actually cheating.
5 Likes
Not living there, doesn’t mean she won’t have her dad. She will just not have him in the same house as you. Like you said, you aren’t getting any younger, if you can afford to leave, do it. Find happiness alone, bc this sounds like a situation that won’t end.
1 Like
Girl, your husband should be putting you first but instead it sounds like you’re the live-in nanny for him and his family,in which sounds like a toxic environment for you…
Ask God to give you the strength and courage to do the right thing… because life is too short…I wish you the best:pray:
Pick up your kids and leave without looking back. Your husband doesn’t seem to want a wife , he just wants his mummy .
Kids will be better off without him ,
Good wishes for your future .
If you two divorce, your daughter will not be without a dad (unless he decides not to see her anymore), but she may have a happier mother. If you’re asking, its probably time.
Look after yourself first and foremost. Happy mothers equals happy children. Some times these men need to learn a lesson. Be missing for a couple of weeks him and his mom will calm down. But put your foot down. Stand your ground and explained calmly how you feel. Be firm. Lay down new ground rules. And if you cant get through to him. Give some space between your selves pack your bags with your kids. And go missing for few days
He doesn’t seem to appreciate you at all. I would say its been time to go for a while and if you stay you’re going to burn out and make yourself sick. You are in my thoughts and I hope you are able to get away from that negativity and find some peace and real love!
Yup, he is a mama’s boy, not a husband. Your not a wife, your “the help”.
If she is healthy enough to take over, she is healthy enough to get out. If you have posted here, your already done and the confusion you feel is what was given to you by them.
So, here’s the plan…start with the financial stuff,copies of everything. Tax return, bank statements, everything ! Figure out how to put money away for when you and kids need it. Sell stuff you dont need. Bank every dime while u keep an eye on family finances.
Put a smile on your face cuz your planning your escape, that alone will make them nuts!
Dont forget your credit, get your own!
If u can endure what u have already, this is a no brainer. You will be happier when YOU DUMP them and have much less crap.
1 Like
My mother not staying with my father was the best thing she could have done. At the time, my dad had his issues to deal with, and as difficult as it was for my mom she decided we would be better off. Not to say i didnt miss my dad, I love him muchly. But! Him being around created a toxic environment for both me, and my mother. Fast forward 30yrs later, I now have a wonderful relationship with my dad, as an adult i can set my boundaries. As a child, my mother did it for me and i am for ever thankful. Chances are that if she would of stayed, i would not have the relationship that i have with my dad. Why? Because i would of seen the hurt he would of caused my mom, and thats a hard thing to forgive and forget.
It sounds like a terrible environment, for you and your kids. In my opinion, sometimes it is better for a child to grow with little interaction from a toxic parent.
You got this girl.
Its time to go <3
You should have left long time ago. Your kids will think this behavior is normal and model it when they are older. You are being used and manipulated. Find a crisis center that will take you and your children until you can get on your feet. Don’t walk, run and find a good lawyer to get you out of this mess.
1 Like
If you don’t look after yourself then no one else will. Things haven’t changed & by the sounds of things are getting worse so it’s time to move on with your life for your own sanity
Get your kids and get out. It’s not healthy to live like this, and it’s not ok for your kids to think this type of behavior and treatment is ok. I left my ex after 7 years when our kiddo was 3 because I was tired of his bullsh!t, expecting me to take care of everything and give up my friends and family to take care of our house and baby. He was cheating and I overlooked it. I stayed because I didn’t want to break up my family. The thing was my family was already broken, by my ex. As soon as I left I felt immediately better. Scared but so much stress, anxiety and just plain resentment lifted and I felt like I could finally breathe again. You can do this, its hard but it is SO worth it!
Put ya happiness first it’s not selfish or pretty soon Yu won’t even know what make Yu happy anymore…at the end of the day Yu just need to be there for ya kids an be a role model for them an teaching them not to stay in stagnant environments is just as good an trying to show them how to tough a situation out…an on a serious note mental health, stress and depression is a silent killer it’ll have ya chest hurting, head spinning, an thoughts all over the place you don’t wanna get to that point where Yu just a shell of yourself an don’t even know who you are anymore.
1 Like
It’s not going to get better, unfortunately! You don’t need to be the caretaker for all his family and listen to their complaints. It’s time!
Your situation is only going to get worse. Take your children and leave. T
1 Like
Sweetie your daughter is watching… do you want her to think that this situation is a healthy normal one? I just got out of a similar situation 6 months ago and am so happy that I made the move. No it isn’t going to be easy. The first few months it’s hard to comprehend the abuse once you are away from it. But you will get through it. Here if you need anything
This relationship is not only harming you, it is harming your children as well — more than if you leave. They are seeing how you are treated and are allowing yourself to be treated and are assuming it is ok. They will grow to do that as well. Leave and teach them the correct way to be treated and to treat others.
My ex use to always accuse me of cheating and funnily enough it was him who cheated on me numerous times! It sounds very toxic and I really think it’s time to leave ASAP I no it will be hard but it will be so worth it for both you and your kids. Good luck xx
The fact you are now isolated from your own family and friends is a BIG red flag. Sounds like a very controlling relationship.
If his mother is well enough to do your housework and stir things up then surely she is well enough to live on her own now. It could be sheltered housing maybe if she requires some care but having her meddling in your marriage is not healthy.
Speak to your partner about how you’re feeling and warn him that if things don’t change then it isn’t going to work. If there is no change after a few weeks then you have your answer.
Perhaps speak to his mother too and tell her that if she is going to live in your home then she needs to respect the fact it is YOUR home and YOUR marriage and to please stop trying to paint you in a bad light. Then again she might be doing it out of innocence not realising the repercussions of her actions and words. Talking to her and pointing out the arguments it causes might be enough to make her back off a bit.
giiiiirl, hate to break it to you but he’s a cheating ass loser! that reaction screams that’s her cheating on you. move out, move on and enjoy the glow up! life’s too short to be miserable
Leave now. Maybe your daughter does not need his influence. You are being used and setting this example for your kids. Get out now and breathe.
It’s better for your child to have come from an unhealthy home then to still live in one.
The fact that you had to ask how do you know when it’s over, means that… it’s over.
1 Like
Talk to a lawyer. Depending on the laws where you are you might have to file for separation first before you leave otherwise you may not be entitled to home equity in a divorce settlement if you move out first. It gets more complicated when children are involved.
1 Like
Get out while you can! He may not hit you, but he is mentally abusing you! I pray for you and your children’s safety! 
After reading all these comments I KNOW its time for me to finally get out. Its not easy but WE need to be happy and deserve better. Good luck God bless.
Run, pack up ur kids and just run. Don’t look back. Any challenges u will face doing this on ur own, be it financially or emotionally, will be a piece of cake (chocolate, of course, lol) compared to that toxic life. Been there done that. Get out
Here’s a thought,if you can handle paying your Bill’s by yourself,then have them leave not you and your kid’s,if he wants to be with his Mama,then go be with her somewhere else
You are 100% in an emotionally abusive relationship. Get out NOW, if not for your own mental health, do it for your children.
You are exhausted and with the intentional isolation and devaluation have little context for what is “normal” and it may take time for you to unlearn what you have been subjected to. This is NOT normal.
Do not give warning, you will simply be gaslighted more. Do not think he or his mom are there to help you, they are the abusers. As soon as you leave, see an attorney for a free consultation to understand your rights and to start filing for separation/divorce.
If possible, when you leave with all your kids, let the niece and nephew know how much you care for them and that your decision is based on the adult relationships in the house and NOT a reflection of them.
Pretty sure you already know this in your heart, but yeah I think you should run.
This is narcissistic behavior, and his mother is definitely enabling it. Leave, now, before it gets worse.
1 Like
Time to get out!! It will be hard, but you’ll look back on it as the best decision you ever made!
1 Like
Run, run, run as fast as you can. Go to family or a Womens Shelter. Then get work & take care of your self.
Take your kids and leave… this is 100% a gaslighting, manipulating situation… he may start on your kids next, is that what you want? No you don’t!! Take them and go!! He sounds like he is systematically trying to control you bit by bit… Including having his mother there… And if she can do all those chores and complain about it then she isn’t that sick and needs to move out!!
Life is short, if you can’t talk to him about changes, you need to make changes to get happy.
Tell his mother to but out of things your are doing (i.e., if you start the laundry then tell her to leave it be and you get to when your ready. If she starts the dishes let her finish and just say thank you when she’s done. ) You need to talk to your husband and remind him this is your house and tell him to set his mother straight. If that doesn’t work then get a divorce.
Sounds like you need to RUN ASAP you and the kids will be better off without those types of people in your life especially having kids there to see your husband’s actions will make them think what he does is “normal/acceptable”
From experience I beg you to leave as soon as possible because your life will be over and distroyed and you just can’t get that back ever.
Run fast and quietly there is more to life
My experience is that when someone keeps accusing you of something- they are projecting - he is cheating on you most likely.
Leave…Live your life for YOU!
3 Likes
A few words: Take your daughter and leave now! You are devaluing yourself and your daughter the longer you stay.
Get out NOW girl take your life back before he decides to hit you.
Right after his mom started making trouble for you
Hmmm. It sounds like your relationship actually ended a while back. Also, when someone is continually accusing you for cheating, there is a good chance they are cheating. Who cares if you kids have different dads? A stable household is better than one where the parents fight
2 Likes
Leave your children with the mother in law and become him. Work outside the home all day, get your own checking account and develop some independence … It’s going to be hell for awhile but give yourself a timeline of 6-12 months of plotting and planning and then make your move if nothing changes.
2 Likes
STOP,doing anything let her di it, I think I’d leave eventually
If he’s got to accuse you of it constantly it’s because he’s doing it himself. Guilty conscience. Time to get out!
Now is the time to leave and don’t look back
Let him go , go be happy you only live once , not to be unhappy 
Just take the kids and go!
Time to go…you deserve to be treated much better than this. And this is toxic for your children as well.
Bows the time just pack and go if it’s necessary call police for a peaceful leave!
Dude I would leave fuck them and him let’s see how he does it by himself
Time to cut and run!
: if it’s bad in May 2021 and you do nothing about it , May 2022 will be exactly the same … to me, it would be enough to make changes
1 Like
Your just a maid.you never would have had a good chance at happiness when your partner is so full of the green monster…up too you and only you
It’s past time to get out.
Leave now…while you still have sanity
Run, don’t walk out. Run!
It was time 6 years ago.
Run. Don’t walk stop wasting your time.
Leave the jerkcmom more important than you
The time to end it was years ago.
1 Like
Sweets you need to get the hell outta there.
Just go. This sounds unbearable. Just go. For everyone’s sake, just go.
Now would be the time to leave.He and his family are toxic.If he is accusing you of being lazy,cheating or just disrespectful to you,time to move out and move on.Make yourself happy.
He is cheating for sure. You should definitely take yourself out of that situation, and not subject yourself to that kind of treatment. That’s fucking garbage. I hope you find a way to get back to loving your best life!
Been there get out not worth your health and mind.
1 Like
If he is accusing he very probably is cheating. What kind of example is this for your daughter? Think long and hard, will this get better, stay the same or get worse?
Easy solution,gather everybody around and announce in ten minutes feet will be going up asses.
It’s so nice to see how many supportive people have compassion for this woman 
Super toxic relationship. End it now.
Let it go, take care of yourself!!!
Should have been LONG GONE
Pack your crap and get out. Oh yes don’t forget your kids.
Get out and get into some councling!!! Good luck hon!
1 Like
I would leave. He isn’t listening to you. And it sounds like he left years ago.
2 Likes
Your daughter is watching and its better to be seen as someone who stands up for themselves than as a doormat. It sounds like you have been more than obliging to him and his family, you need to ask yourself have you been getting a fair trade in return? 7 years is nothing compared to if you live another 30 or more. You need to feel trusted, loved, and appreciated… or you know what to do
3 Likes
It’s your decision in the end but you said you want to stay for your daughter but if it were me that would be my reason to leave because she sees the way he treats you wether you realize it or not and it’s teacher her that this is what love is when that isn’t love that’s control and power over a person. If it were me I would leave to teach my daughter that that kind of behavior is not acceptable so when she’s older she’ll be able to realize she’s in a toxic relationship if, god forbid, that should ever happen to her. Since having my son I always look at it this way, “what is this behavior teaching my son?” “How would I feel if someone talked to or treated my child this way?” And that’s honestly how you have to look at things as a parent, how does it affect your children, if it’s affecting you negatively imagine what it’s doing to your children (sorry if that sounds harsh I don’t mean it to sound that way that’s just how I look at things, again the decision is yours in the end)
Girl. Why have you stayed this long? Having a child doesn’t mean you have to be together… if you’re daughter doesn’t have her father because you leave, that’s on him not you. Set an example for all your children and show them this type of behavior is unacceptable and that leaving a toxic relationship is okay. You all deserve to be happy.
1 Like
Sounds toxic and for every day you live like that is another day lost in your life. Kids are happiest when they see happy parents. Be the example you want your kids to do when they get older. Don’t accept what you wouldn’t want your kids to.
2 Likes
Girl. Let him have his family and just get out of there. Doesn’t sound like a good future ahead of you if you stay. Do not teach your kids to accept this behavior
1 Like
Girl take care of yourself!! I definitely think it’s time. Usually if someone starts accusing you of cheating they are the culprits doing it themselves. Maybe you find peace in your next chapter
2 Likes
My husbands mom is the same way. His mom manipulate him and over exaggerates everything and makes my husband feel bad. She destoryed her relationships with her other kids (7 kids) (3 baby daddies) and when i say something to him or her. My husband would say okay but his mom would threaten me that she would slap the shit out of me the next time she see me. So I finally got into my husbands head for him to see what his mom is doing to us and our family. And he tells me his tires of his moms BS but he wont tell her how he feel because hes scaried…
When you are unhappy, it’s time to leave. You have to find your own happiness and if you cant there, it’s time. I know you love your husband, or you wouldn’t have married him or stayed as long, but your health and wellbeing and happiness is yours to control. I was married to my ex for 10yrs. I was real unhappy in the relationship myself. He was just fine. I wanted to work out the issues we had and talk, but his way was if he ignored it, it didn’t exist. I even went to marriage counseling with him, when he realized I was ready to leave, it didn’t work. I didn’t smile, I didn’t laugh, and my kids suffered because I was unhappy, so I left. I’m now remarried,10yrs, and have had the most fun ever. He works out issues with me, he takes me on dates, he let’s me vent without judgment, and he knows I’m crazy and doesnt mind.
If someone’s accusing you of cheating is usually means they are cheating on you.
Do what’s best for you
4 Likes
My mom was in kind of a similar situation when i was younger. As i got older i got mad at her for not leaving sooner. My reasoning she looked so much HAPPIER without my dad. I understand why she stayed with him because she wantmed me to me close with him. But you deserve to be happy as well. Your kids will be hurt at first but at the end of the day they will want you to be happy as well
Life is short… in a blink of an eye the next chapter can present itself. Count the good and take the bad with the good… if the love has shifted or you have outgrown your partner that’s something only you can truly answer. Just remember what is so important to you now may not even matter 5 min 5 months 5 years from now. Hugs to you on your journey
1 Like
If hes accusing you of cheating…he probably is.
You sound so unhappy, take your kids and leave him, he will be ok, he has his mommy to look after him
1 Like
Yes, you should leave. I just wanted to say a word about being a single parent. It doesn’t have to be negative. You just need to be strong and organised. It will be an improvement on the current situation. I flew solo from when my third child was 8 months. We’ve had a great life!
1 Like
Mental abuse is still abuse and thats what it appears to be from what you said. Get out now.
2 Likes
Kick out your mil she’s the root of the problems if she doesn’t leave than you do if he acts that way he definitely is being shady
2 Likes
Now is the time to leave
They are both emotionally abusing you
Ur daughter will be just fine.she will see that it’s not normal to be treated that way.be strong .love and light
Sweetie, your daughter will be better with a happy mom than with an unhappy mom. Children adjust better than we think. Sounds like it’s time for you to move on and start a new chapter in your life.
It’s time to leave! Take your babies and go and let his momma take care of him! And if ANYONE on this page including the question asker ever need someone to talk to my messenger is always open!! Im a SAHM and I have 5 kids. So ik how hard things are. My husband is the only person I see lol.
Who did he marry, all loyalty should be there, just point out he married you for better or worse, NOT his mommy or other family… Hope you manage to sort something out, all the best.