Get out live your life your health and mental state is more important than dealing with all that you were so good to take it all on and you don’t get respected so none of them deserves you i pray you find peace and understanding
I’ve never been in this situation but it seems to me that he blames you and is very controlling. His mother makes it even worse. I think that I would get out before he becomes physically abusive. He’s certainly verbally abusive. Of course none of us know your situation in all its details but it seems to me that this will only become worse over time. Sorry to have to say that.
When is the last time you felt good about your relationship?
If you have to think about it, you should seriously consider exiting it.
To me, name calling and putting you down is a deal breaker all on its own. Its one thing to get angry and both say things in the heat of the moment (and apologize later of course) its entirely different when its Verbal abuse
Leave asp love you not housekeeping or some to be belittle by your mother in law. Take your children and leave them both. Good luck love.
Not only do you deserve it but Your children also deserve to see a happy, healthy, loving relationship. There is such a thing as emotional abuse. It’s time to put yourself and your children first. No one should be told they are or be made to feel worthless.
Sounds to me like he is a narcissist and probably wearing you down to the very last thing that can be crushed. Then will tell you it’s all your fault and you made him have to do whatever. Realize there are two sides to every story.
Been there don’t that n stayed way to long! Don’t wait until it’s to late! It’s not fair to you n you do not deserve to be treated like this! Your husband obviously had issues n degrades you so he feels superior! His mother should be ashamed to say she’s a woman, mom n gma! You need to get out ASAP n find yourself again! I hear what your saying but it’s not worth your misery and just accepting this of them! They want you to feel worthless and feel as if you need him or depend on him! Life is to short and u deserve to be happy!
So sorry to hear what you’re going thru talk it out go get help if he accuses you of cheating he might be
If things don’t change after trying everything you come to a point in life is it worth it
You deserve better
I never believed in marriage being ran by more then the husband and wife. This 1 is controlled by husband and his mother. Everyone knows this is NOT going to work.
Please take your child and leave but please get therapy for you both. I will pray for you both
His mom needs get her own place, and yall need to go to counseling. 2 hens cant run the same nest. Mama got to go.
He can still be a father without you two being together! It’s time! It’ll only get worse. If you’re a SAHM stack some money first and plan it out well, and leave!
If you can leave and go to your family for at least awhile do it. You don’t deserve the mental abuse. Ask to go to a counselor with him to talk things out. If he isn’t willing to do that I say cut your loses and run.
Your daughter can still be in her dad‘s life but it is time for you to get out of there before it get even worse
oh nahhhh… run! reading all of this just suffocated me. run while you can. i wouldnt stay one more day. Your daughter will be fine. If anything you will teach her to not ever settle.
If you feel you have truly had a heart to heart discussion with your husband (or have really tried several times) and he is still like this reinforcing his mother’s and family’s opinions and not listening to you and valuing you then absolutely it is time to go and this time seriously take time out to invest in yourself and your children. Get to know and love yourself and not get lured back into this toxic relationship or run head long into another one.
It sounds like you already know it’s time to leave. You and your kids deserve better. Make a new start for you all.
As someone who’s been through it, it is past time to leave only real decisions are how many more years you want to waste and how much more abuse are you willing to take just to be clear not judging you at all took me years to learn I deserved better and I still struggle with it
I am going tnru the same thing. My man accuses me of everything. And because HE CANT FIND ANYTHING! So when he can’t- he assumes it means I’m more guilty! He lies- saying neighbors have said they’ve seen me go into the neighbors house- or he has cameras … ok go ahead! I do do nothing but take care of our only son. I am a prisoner. He had me transfer my direct deposit to his account so now I have no money, no card - no car- nothing
If you stay more than likely your daughter will end up in a relationship JUST like what you are in now. Think about it. If you would want YOUR daughter to stay in a relationship like you are in. If your answer is no… RUN!! Because if you stay your daughter will think it’s ok to “settle” for a toxic relationship and lifelong regret
It’s time to leave he can see his daughter you don’t have to be together for that let his mama take care of him
Well my mama always told me - only the guilty accuses - so maybe he’s feeling some type of guilt and mirroring on to you. It do be like that A LOY
I think you know the answer to this and have probably known for a while. Go with your gut, it’s your life you shouldn’t have to live it under someone else’s rein.
When they accuse of cheating they are cheating. Dont ever stay together for a kid. Your kid needs to see people treating people well and good family dynamics
A woman asked me this when I was talking about a past relationship. Look at your child, if they were in this situation, what would you tell them to do? Ok, now do that. Because they are watching and learning from you. and that’s when I left that relationship and decided I wouldn’t put up with anything I wouldn’t expect my children too.
I would just move on you deserve love and happiness and if a man accused you of cheating he might be doing it his self so I would go on with my life life is getting too short to be in happy
Leave them if he’s not in your corner just take your children and leave it’s not worth it for your grow old And regret you never did trust me good luck
I kicked my husband out a few times in the last 18 months this last time it got physical on both sides and i was done. He came back in the morning to bring our kids donuts after talking to his boss. He laid in bed and just broke. He finally realized what he did to me. That was in January. We r finally getting back on track. My husband willingly chose to try to change. He knows this is his last chance. If ur husband wont chose to change leave
Do you want your daughter to think this is acceptable? Leave now and teach her how to be a strong woman! Never settle for shitty people you deserve so much better and so do your babies
This is abuse…classic…Google the domestic violence wheel of abuse. Get your children and get out asap before it’s too late for you and/or your children.
You sound miserable, but more importantly, you’re teaching your daughter and sons that the relationship isn’t equal. either fix this or leave before it’s too late.
You’re not gone yet? You need to get your affairs in order and make a plan and stick to it. Once you & the kids leave, don’t look back!!!
Leave!! Talking from experience - it’ll be one of the hardest things you’ll do but you’ll be so much happier for it.
Everyone else is controlling your life. Either seek counseling (if he will “allow” it) or get the hell out. This is very unhealthy for you and your children. I am so sorry.
When you burn yourself out, you’ll have your answer, I advice for you to get out now but it’s easier said then done. I cannot be with someone who doesn’t prioritize my feelings snd emotions or atleast considers communicating about our problems.
Maybe leave. An breath. Or take him to dinner alone. Tell him your concerns an issues. Which are all valid. If he’s willing to work things out. Stuff needs to change. You can’t relax in your own home. Time for something to be said an done. Good luck.
Make an exit plan. It’s tough getting over the heart ache when you leave but trust me it’s so worth it. Split custody with him so your daughter will still have him in her life and you can have some free time. I did it last year. It was hard at first but I AM SO HAPPY!
Girl-this is mental abuse. The kind your children see. It’s gotta change or you need to go! And his momma needs to go-yesterday
If you have tried to talk to your husband and he is unwilling to see you for who you really are, and is unwilling to stop accusing you of being lazy and of cheating, then it may be time to think about leaving. Love does not conquer all and it is not supposed to make you miserable. He obviously does not appreciate anything you do for his family and is willing to side with his family when they say things about you. He should side with you, always. Mom-in-law should have moved out as soon as she was well and niece and nephew should never have been allowed to move in at the expense of your mental health and the expense of your relationship with your own children, because you can bet they realize that you are not happy, even if you try to hide it. For the sake of your own mental health and the sake of your relationship with your own children, move out and leave the master manipulator of a husband to his family.
Sounds like him and his Mom are controlling condescending people who are obviously insecure and feel better about themselves if they’re cutting you down and calling you worthless. Time to get out and leave them to each other. Tell them you’re leaving and will find someone who actually values you. After you get out, start working on yourself to get your self esteem back or you will just attract more abusive men.
- If u have ta ask…
- discussion is always key. Letting the mom get between u is the biggest issue…the rest can get worked on…it began with allowing the mom to take to much control…full disclosure and discussion is the only way a relationship survives
That is an extremely toxic relationship and environment to be living in. Sounds like it’s time to move on.
That sounds so miserable. Ask yourself if you can ever imagine things getting better. If the answer is no, do you want to live like that for the rest of your life? You only have one life…don’t let anyone or anything keep you from being happy. And don’t let your children think this is how relationships are supposed to be.
He’s controlling and toxic and his mother is probably where he learned it from. She needs to go and so does he!!
I say it’s time to leave give no notice so he can’t try to take a kid that’s his if he wants visitation he can out pocket money to go to court been thru same thing I have 4 by him only have my youngest 2 with me
You are asking so you want to end it. Its already over in your mind. Now you have to tell him this. How he responds to it… That is your answer.
Love I don’t think you’re the problem. How old is mum. Hubby needs to hear you and understand how you feel . Men don’t see what you see or feel it’s sad but they have to be showen what there missing I’m not talking about love in the bed. Remember when yous first ment the spark find it again the more you moan the further away he will go towards his mom be positive and stop playing mind games that’s not a way to get his attention men get frustrated on mine games your turning him to his mom’s for security men never wanna feel there relationship is heading down hill that’s a man they like to be incontrol of everything.
I’d leave now its not right that he blames everything on you when it sounds like your mil is the main problem
Tell me you already know the answer. Cause its pretty obvious you should leave him.
Marriage is hard work for sure, it’s time for a big conversation about change what you need and tell him that you need to have your own household. I am not sure why he accuses you of cheating but that is serious and damaging that needs to be discussed. If your wants aren’t important make sure he knows you will do what you have to do to be happy even if that means leaving.
You should leave yesterday… there is no reason for his family to be your responsibility… and his mom is a fb…
Get out. Now. He is probably cheating but even if he’s not, you deserve better. He is creating this and doing this to the children, this is a result of his actions, not yours. <3
It sounds as if your husband has already decided. He would prefer his family, and right now that seems to not include you. So stop wondering. Of course you spoke to your husband about your concerns? His answer should tell you everything you need to know.
Most of the time when someone accuses someone of cheating it’s because they are cheating. I think it’s time to shut this door and open a new one. Your still young enough to have a life and you only have one of those. Do what you need to do for your kids and yourself. In the end that is what matters…
It is time to leave now. Also, from my experience, if he accuses you of cheating, it is usually because he is cheating. It sounds like he is a controlling jerk. Focus on your kids, but leave this man.
You’re being used. Run! He picked you because he knew you already had children and least likely to run. Run anyways. Run!
Can I just say when someone accuses you of cheating 90% of the time it’s because they are cheating. You for sure need to leave even if he’s not. He sounds horrible and does not treat you right. You deserve to be called beautiful and to be loved right. And your kids don’t need to be around that.
Would he have your mum living with you both? would he accept your mother being the same with him? The answer will probably be no. If he is checking your phone it might be because he is cheating himself.
I would think long and hard about if its what you want for the rest of your life. Doesn’t sound like you are happy.
Pack it in sister he will never change he will never appreciate you and he will never stop thinking your cheating the smacking will come sooner or later so I would personally pack it in.
There comes a time when enough is enough. When you mental and physically can’t do it anymore that’s when you walk away.
I’d say leave him. Your children need to have a happy healthy mom. Take care of you. Throw everyone out except the kids and move on.
If ur askin the question I think u know the answer unfortunately ur relationship is not a relationship and unless things change drAmatically and his mother moves out u will not stand a chance and havin a decent life. In my opinion it’s time to think of urself and leave. U don’t need someone like this in ur life. Personally he sounds like a tosser and ur better off without him. We only get one shot at life don’t spend it miserable with regrets. Good luck whatever u decide to do x
You only have one life so look very closely in the mirror and ask yourself if you are happy …only you can then decide
He doesnt appreciate you, know your worth an walk away before its another 7 years in a toxic relationship.
I would talk to him first, maybe see a counselor. Since you are married and not just dating. Unless you feel like things are at a lost cause and will never get better.
Generally people accuse people of something because they are guilty. Your in a stressful situation and only you can decide what you can take and handle.
You are being abused , plain and simple. You need to take your kids and get out ASAP.
Having extra people in a household is stressful! It’s time you give him an ultimatum. If you can’t take it anymore it’s time to call it quits.
Sit down with him and tell him how you feel. And if doesn’t change after that you can leave.
Run for the hills! Let him figure out what it’s like without you. If he doesn’t come groveling back,you made the right choice.
If that lady can do all that stuff behind you
.Shes not that sick. !! Time for her to be on her own . I left mine bc I didnt wanr to get stuck living with in-laws for life but now thats a new persons prison .
Now! Period! Your daughter will grow up to understand why you left. And if he is ANY kind of father she will not lose him.
I was in a suped toxic relationship. He accused me of cheating, he was cheating on me the entire time I was pregnant and even after. He was an alcoholic and when he wasn’t drinking he was kind and loving, but the drinking got worse. I even threw him out, only to have him come back 2 days later because he didn’t remember. I ended up cheating… the only time in my life I have and knew that I had to go. Unfortunately I ended up homeless and needed his help. I did my best to shield my babies, but now that they are older they have talked to me about it.
I started dating a good friend. We have been together about 10 years. My kids look at him as the dad and he has been there through it all. The other one still drinks and sees his biological son about 4 times a year, hasn’t paid child support since his son was 2 and that was court ordered.
I am better. My kids are better.
My parents were toxic and they stayed together and ended up having 3 kids and they messed all of us up in a different way. I haven’t talked to my mother in over a year. My dad has grown and changed but he is the exception to the rule.
Sorry honey. I know its sooo hard to leave but your children will thank you for it one day. They may be angry at first, but then they will see mama happy and they will know you all are better off.
I know it sounds absolutely insane as you do not know me but you can ALWAYS pm me if you need an outside person. I have been there and was alone and I would never want anyone to feel that way…ever.
Sending prayers for strength for you and your babies.
i’d leave with my kids. i can’t handle that much bs
From experience of they accuse you of cheating then its probably because they are.
If your not happy move out. Remember if your kids see people treat you like crap they will treat your like crap! They will also thing it’s normal to treat others like crap or be treated like crap.
I personally wouldn’t put up with the disrespect from both of them. I would be telling them separately how your feeling etc and if they can’t be nice move out with your kids and let them fend for themselves.
Even if it’s not a permanent thing but a brake might just make things change.
By the sounds they’re joint at the hip and until his mother’s not in the house the disrespect will continue etc
Please leave your kids will thank you mine did it’s scary but it needs to be done I promise you will make it without him
I think you answered you own question sweetheart ,once you start questioning something like ’ should I stay ’ it’s more likely because you have answered your own question but really upset so you don’t want to come to terms with it , im sorry you are going through this but also remember the children are probs not in. The best environment either , I would let certainly start planning new living accommodation now and make your exit
I’m telling you, get up, get your kids, and leave. My own personal experience, he’s accusing YOU if cheating because he is. My guess is you are married to a narcissist. It will only get worse. Leave!+
Is it your home your husband should put you and your children first
I left something similar. He didn’t accuse me of cheating like that but that would have been the ultimate deal sign that it’s done. No trust. No respect. No relationship.
I would say first of all gramma needs to go
Then counseling for you and him. If that doesn’t work time to go be happy
He seems like he is insecure anyhow
You need to set boundaries…if they continue to cross them then it’s time to throw in the towel and focus on yours and your children’s lives.
It’s never gonna change. Will only get worse and if you stay around then you’re only gonna get older and it will be harder to move on. Leave as fast as you can. Been there done that!
When there’s nothing left to fight over…and there’s nothing left to fight for.
If you are unhappy, leave and take the kids with you.
Ones that say your cheating are 99% of the,time the ones cheating. If you can’t come to a middle ground then it’s,time to call it quits .
It was done the moment he made that choice to stick his dick somewhere else true story
what ur snaplink , please no nudes or rude pictures , hang in there for the kids is never a good thing to feel in the relationship , love is love , as much as respect is respect ,
Your home…kick out the mother in law
It’s been time to leave for a long time …you know it deep in your heart , you always have known it but still keep letting time pass to see if things get better …I can tell you most likely without a real effort they’re only going to get worse …I was you for many years and wish I had left way before I did …make a plan for your life to be happy not just ok … your kids will also thank you …trust yourself …the best feeling of your life will be once you’re away from the ruler with the iron fist …my biggest eye opener was when I realized I have a daughter and I was teaching her that it was ok for a man to be controlling and abusive to her because I allowed her dad to treat me that way …my kids are so much happier now that they see their mom is happy and they don’t have to live with the tension that is usually palpable in an abusive household …abuse is not just hitting someone is many other things specially the “ you always do everything wrong and never do anything right “ treatment
This sounds like a toxic relationship. What does the husband do when the mom talks about you to him?
Only you know when it’s time. Try waking up in the morning and think of what it would be like if you weren’t with him. As soon as you wake up. Are you sad? Or relieved?
In short. All I’ll said is I ran. Run.
I’d leave the whole situation let him deal with his mother and extended family members. You’re not stuck.
When you start asking “how do you know when it’s time to end a relationship?”
Accusers are usually the ones who are cheating as they’re trying to deflect and distract, sometimes trying to justify their own behavior by saying that you’re the one who is cheating. Time to run an errand to the courthouse to pick up divorce papers.
Leave!! It might be tough at first but you can do this.
Step 1: Get everyone else OUT of your house.
Only then can you start repairing your own relationship without external involvement.
From what I understand, the person accusing their significant other of cheating, is the one who is actually cheating.
Girl run. Hes accusing you of cheating over an app which means hes already cheating
Every example you just gave is enough to call it quits. Tell him you want marriage counseling, which we all know he will refuse so that when you divorce him you can say he refused it when the jackass goes around blaming it on you.
I would have been long gone by now! Let his mother take over if that’s what he wants. Hope you find your true happiness x