How do you know when it's time to end a relationship?

Just remember what you want your daughters to be treated like.

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Time to move on and find someone who likes you just the way you are you are not valued there but WI be after you are gone

I think you already know the answer in your heart. If you’re not happy, and you’ve got the strength to leave, just go. Find someone who appreciates you. Don’t get to 60 and have regrets. Life is for living. Good luck in the future.

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I think you are there. If you are not appreciated, it’s not a healthy relationship.

I’m divorced and have two children, at first I thought because my kids were so young they didn’t realise what was happening at home But they did, they struggled with theirs emotions and miss behaved at nurseries. Once I moved out with my boys their behaviour changed soooo much and to be honest I never regret the decision, because I was totally different person back then manipulated and mistreated like yourself.
Of course on the beginning it’s a difficult but in time your will heal and realise that you deserve to be happy and only then your kids will truly be happy too. I wish you all the best and be strong :muscle: x

Sometimes the one accusing of cheating is the guilty party. Life is too short. Go find where you can be happy.

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Are you kidding me? Pack them all up, including gutless husband, and kick their sorry asses to the curb.

I think it might help you if you can find a job and get out of the toxic house regarding your mother in law. Let her take care of the household seeing she touts she says she does anyways snd tell her nicely seeing she is doing such a great job you will let her continue. Get to feel a little more independence and earn some money. I took on two jobs in my 30’s with in-law problems too and it made a whole lot of difference with my spouse’s respect for me when he saw I could become independent from him. Took a year but well worth it.

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The best advice I can give you is this: if I was telling you this story about me, what advice would you give me?

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Leave they are awful

My heart is crying for you hun. From what you have said you are going through a formal of domestic abuse. You need to honestly reflect on what is going on… how it is effecting you and those around you…and make decisions according to your own answers. There is so much help out there… reach out if you can’t see. Where do you want to be 5-10 years from now??? Your life should be your own…not a tool for someone else to make them feel better. Bless. I hope you can come to the right decisions for your own welfare and positive future for you and yours. If you are not at your best how can you truly be there for others.

You have only one life. Every day you stay in that relationship you are wasting your life. I agree that you should get a job. The job will prepare you for your changes. Plan it out. You can do it.

You will know when you reach your limit. I stayed too long but once I was done, I was done. The kids were much happier.

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Staying married is hard, being single is hard. Choose your hard now so that tomorrow can be better.

Whatever you decide make sure you are set up before you and yours leave. You should start stashing cash when you can. Check out the housing in your area, what is the average rent? utilities ext…what type of job could you get? will you need childcare, at what cost? The more you prepare ahead of time the easier the transition will be for you and kids. Bide your time and keep working toward your goal.

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Gaslighting and emotional abuse will not improve, as you have already said it has devolved. Find local resources and get help for yourself and your children while you still can.

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Time to do for you and if that means a divorce then so be it. Good luck and stay safe.

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It is time to move out, he can be married to his mother

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It’s a merry go round someone has to get off, enough is enough of this mental abuse :pray::cry:

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Life is short. You deserve to be happy. you need to have a serious conversation with your husband and make some decisions.

I think you know it is time. I was in a very toxic relationship where there was mental and verbal abuse. People are right when they say the mental and verbal abuse is the worst because nobody can see it!
Best of luck to you and your 3 children.

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you are being used - it may not be physical abuse, but it is still abuse - get out and start living your life for you and your kids. I’m not saying it ill be easy, i know that from experience, it will be hard but it will be worth it. You are worth it <3

Tell him you two need to see a marriage counselor. If he refuses, get out while you still have your sanity.

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I’m so sorry you are going through this. It will not hurt your husband and his family if you make a quiet exit with your kids. I’m sure that you will be able to breathe easily and your kids would be happy too. So the time is now to move on without looking back because there will not be anything that you wish you could take with you. You may not be aware but your children have been traumatized with all that tension around them. Simply let him know that life is too short and you can’t continue to live under such horrible conditions.
Have a blessed day :pray:

I stayed way too long with my ex husband when he did this kind of thing. Every couple Is different so I can only answer as to what I did, but when I had reached my limit of being (falsely) accused of cheating, being scrutinized every time we went out (claimed I talked too long with the waiter/clerk/cashier, etc) and had to know where I was every minute of the day (would even check when I was sitting on the toilet)… it got to be too much. He was retired and I still worked- yet he was constantly accusing or insinuating I was cheating- even when I caught him using online porn and personal ads. I moved out and filed for divorce. It was final in 2016. Best decision I could have made.

Sweetheart only you can make that choice none of us can tell you what is right or wrong for you if it is mentally and physically grinding you down it’s better to sort it now before it gets to late I wish you all the best in your choice for yourself and your children x

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Be DONE as the house slave TODAY!

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Leave…wont get better.

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Get out fast and take your kids away from his controlling behaviour !!

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By writing this post, I think you already know the answer but are looking for some help in taking the next step. Why don’t you contact your local woman’s aid they might be able to help. I would try and speak with your husband too (if not already) and see if he is willing to change, if not, you need to look after yourself & your kids. Your daughter will pick up on his behaviour and think this it is OK to be treated this way when she grows up. I wish you all the best in your future, keep strong, it gets better :kissing_heart::kissing_heart::kissing_heart:

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It was time yesterday!!! Don’t waste good years in a toxic relationship, you will regret it! He will miss you when you are gone, I promise you!

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Leave the bastard is it Worth being miserable the rest of ur life. Promise he’ll regret it b4 you do

Your kids will grow up and live your life because it will seem normal. It’s up to you to show them what happy looks like. That’s what it boils down to. Are you happy? Is this how you want to live? If he isn’t willing to have your back then you have to make some choices. I agree with a previous post about doing your best to prepare for eventual departure if that’s what you decide to do. It’s not an easy choice until you realize that you have the right to be happy. Don’t look back and don’t let him live in your head. Best wishes for you and your kiddos. :two_hearts::pray:

Sadly, I don’t think your relationship will improve. The constant toxicity from weak men is draining. Having to think what you say and do permanently will ruin your health. If he’s not supporting you 100%, then maybe it’s time for him and his mum to leave.

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It was time to call it quits a long time ago. Take your kids and get out of that unhealthy abusive relationship, or your kids will repeat what you are living right now, because that is all they know. And if your boys’ father doesn’t treat your daughter like one of his own, that is sad too. She is their sister, doesn’t matter who is her Dad. I have several grandkids who are not blood relations (siblings of my biological grandkids) and I would not even think about treating them any differently. But your daughter is much better off without a father, than one who is controlling and abusive.

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Get your kids and get out toxic relationship let him deal with the freeloaders

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be strong get out while you can plenty help out there let your kids see you are not a doormat let your mother in law take care of her son and the rest of his family justwalk away with what you and your kids need tells the kids why you have to do it but maybe they can already see for there self plenty help with putting a home together i wish you luck please do it i’m sure your parents did not give berth to you to be treated like you are to someone’ s parent

It was time to leave along time ago.
How come his mum never moved back out? - I don’t think she ever intended to leave

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I think you already answered the question yourself. Don’t waste any more years on this situation. Life is far too short. Be strong for yourself and go find a new life and adventure. Believe me, you will thank yourself later.

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It’s a choice only you can make but life is too short to have some one repress you and make your life a misery. People will adjust in their way. What I really want to say is make your absence felt. He may think he can manage now whilst Mom is around. Then again maybe he won’t. But you won’t have wasted any of your precious life waiting to find out. Do what works for you and all the very best wishes to you :heart: xx

The time is now!!! Long overdue actually. RUN!!! Run and be happy again!:hugs::two_hearts:

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Time to move on with your dsughter6.
If not then mama and the ither kuds need to go

Pack a bag and walk to the nearest womans aid house they are using you as a slave no woman needs to suffer such abuse these days lots of help out there

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As a child, I lost my dear mother by the hands of my own father. Before the murder, he’d constantly take my mother to court for custody of my sister and I. One day he showed up at the house trying to take us on a week day and my mother called the cops but didn’t file a complaint. ~ my grandmother became our legal guardian. I was 7 turning 8 in 5 days and already being told that “we didn’t have to take you in” “we could be retired” “but we HAVE to take care of you”. I try to be the best person I can be, but nothing is ever good enough for my grandmother. Seems similar to your mother-in-law situation. She also is way worse to me than she is to my sister. Idk maybe it’s bc I look like my dad. Anyways, she threatened to send me to boarding school and foster care multiple times just for being a kid? Like playing webkinz @9pm on a school night. If I didn’t listen to her or stayed out too late I’d get threatening voicemails saying she was going to beat my ass. She’d take away my electronics and ground me. Never did any of this with my sister. Still does her laundry for her. I don’t have any kids, but I think the mother-in-law has some repressed trauma unrelated to you that she uses you for release. She also could maybe be like my grandmother - every man I date is a piece of shit and sucks- “they’re not good enough for you”. My sisters boyfriends: he’s such a nice guy he’s so good for her. I think it’s best for you to get out of there w your kiddos or kick them out. Take care of yourself and your babies. Your husband clearly has trust issues or is hiding something by accusing you. Your children might understand more than you think. Their brains are still growing everyday. && if they do have questions, or feel uncomfortable, have an open discussion with them. Remind them that you are a family and you love them. Make them feel comfortable and don’t say anything negative about the husband. Just explain that two people in a marriage are supposed to make each other grow and flourish, and you feel under appreciated and unloved. They will be sure to give you the love you need :heart:

Id kick the mum out first

Everyone desrves to be happy, you deserve someone who makes you happy

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Ffs leave. It don’t get any better and you lose your self trying to make things good when no one els dose take it from someone who nos xx

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Go as soon as you can

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It’s time to go unfortunately, don’t bring your own children up in this environment.You are only on this earth for a visit, make the most of it ,leave him with his mom and the rest of them,with you out of the equation she will grind him down ,but with luck it will be to late for him to realize he married you not his mom .GO NOW

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Toxic people. Leave and don’t look back.

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Leave What nationality is he ? Get out run fast Life is only going to get worse.

I was in a similar relationship, except I wasn’t allowed to see my parents without being accused of cheating. In the end I ran, much better life, met new friends, made a better life for my self and I,m much happier.

It would be really hard to leave but there are people that can help.Life is very short so for your kids sake you must try and go.

Doesnt feel like love.
You know what you need to do… the hardest part is the leaving , the ending but dont wallow in an empty relationship. Raise your daughter as friends, dont wait until you hate him.

When your miserable and u realize this is as good as it gets.

His family have well and truly taken over haven’t they. You can’t win this. Time to go!

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LEAVE, take he children with you.

Talk to him or ask her to leave :woman_shrugging:it’s your house do what you want

Walk out you will get by some how

Sounds like he could becheating. They’re using you. His mum treats him as if he’s still in her home. Give him an option, either they all go or you and your kids do. But you must carry it through.

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Leave now and take the kids or better still tell him a d his mother to leave . He’s a douche

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You have 3 choices

  1. Do nothing and things stay the same. That is a choice

  2. Confront the relative issue with him and tell him how it is affecting you and your relationship. Either he has your back or he has to choose you or his mother.

  3. Pack a bag and go to your own family till you can work out how to set yourself up. Time way from your husband will highlight what’s important to him being without you. And he will see for himself how much you do once you’re not covering for his mother anymore.
    It’s not easy and I’ve been in your shoes but once you know it’s over don’t waste anymore of your life on him and his family. You deserve some peace in your life.
    Hope this help you
    Good luck x

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I would give him an ultimatum. Either his mam finds somewhere else to live or you go. He should be supporting you and telling his mam to butt out and remind her that it’s your house, not hers.

You have to get rid of his family, they need to be out of your house. Until you do, you will always be last in his life.

HIS first mistake was bringing Mom into your home, especially if she’s that toxic and doing this after only being married not even a year. That’s not fair to your relationship. A Recipe for disaster & failure!
So, I’d say have a come to Jesus meeting’ & talk about relocating his family out of your home. If he truly loves & cares about you and wants to make it work…he’ll find a way to do it. You & your children should come first in his life. Compromise is key in a relationship but it sounds to me as if he is still unable to cut the apron strings from his controlling mommy.

If he can’t be a man and come to the table & do that for you…your children and your marriage, then leave. And if he gets rid of them , go back to him ONLY if he can promise no family will ever live in your house ever again and he puts you and your children FIRST.
Good luck!

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Stop this crap - these are made up stories, not the correct forum for personal problems, made up or not. all youre doing is providing fodder for all the co-dependent people out here, that is bad for our country. JUST STOP THIS SHIT NOW!!! AND FACEBOOK, TO ALLOW THIS STUFF IS TANTAMOUNT TO KEEPING AMERICANS SICK!

Leave. Go. Run. You only have one life. I waited until I was married 25 years. Don’t do this to yourself. You deserve better even if it means being without a partner. At least it would be a peaceful life.

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I would have gone when you brought the other two kids.

Sounds like you are in a sinking ship with Red flags going off everywhere. I would tell him you are feeling overwhelmed, manipulated and do not feel respected or valued and need some time. Tell him you are going to visit your family or friends house for a few days personally I’d go a week if possible because you aren’t sure this is working anymore, but follow through. Tell him I don’t think we should talk until the following Friday. We can go to dinner and discuss this but no communication for the week. See what a week apart shows you. Did he respect your wishes and not call or text or not guilt you throughout the week. Are you the woman he is in love with or do you feel like property something he owns and uses to keep the house clean and cater to his family. Friday dinner discuss your needs in order for this to continue like mum needs to go with other family or find her own place because she has stepped way out of line in your own home. What him accusing you of cheating has now made you not trust him, Etc, whatever has gone through your mind the last week. Write it down it will help. As for cheating if you think he is then he probably is.

Quietly take your children and yourself and leave… let them figure out how they want it all to work.

you already know what you need to do, you just want to hear it from others so you dont think it’s you. RUN and dont look back.

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Now’s the time as it will never get any better. Hard it may well be but you will get there like I did. Good luck xx

Leave now. It will only get worse

Have you tried counseling? Might be a good place to start.

I lived with the accusations of infidelity constantly in my last relationship. He would text me nonstop if I was with my family. Found out he was so jealous and controlling because of his own cheating.

Leave, because it will only get worse.

Get out of there. You are being used.

babies need a happy mother more than anything! take care of your mental health and everything will fall into place. go where you’ll be happy, it sounds like you already know the answer :heart:

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Sounds like you should’ve already left him and his family. Your daughter will be just fine. You don’t want her to grow up watching you get treated bad because then she will think its okay. You deserve better and so dont all of your kids. So yes it is time to end it and focus on your happiness because kids love to see there mom happy.

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Leave. Get your babies and leave. This emotional and verbal abuse. You are a victim of domestic violence whether you choose to accept it or not. Take it from someone who lived this for 10 years. There is so much more out there for you and your babies. Praying for you and your babies.:pray:

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It sounds like you know the answer and are just needing some reassurance. Your husband should be standing up for you and tell his mom that she is a guest in your house.

It sounds like you need to break free. Kids will be better with happy parents apart rather than miserable parents together. X

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Give him an ultimatum. Somebody’s leaving, either you or his mom. That will tell you all that you need to know, babe. Good luck. :heart:

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Yeah get out. Don’t worry about her NOT HAVING A FATHER. She is better off without a father then him it sounds like. Run as far and as fast as you can make sure you get him and her (his mommy he can’t live without) on recording yelling at you. It will help you secure your daughter away from them

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He clearly already has another wife (HIS MOTHER). I’m sorry but in a relationship the wife should come before the mother. If he’s accusing you of cheating with the neighbors you might as well chuck it up as it’s over & get out. Don’t let him get you down & as is women age we get better!!! You will feel happier once you’re out of that toxic mess!!! Good luck

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Sounds like you know the answer to that. Time to take care of yourself. Take back your voice, take back your house and tell him to get out with his mom.

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Sounds like a completely toxic environment. She’s definitely over stayed her welcome. And your husband is taking you for granted. Grab your kids and run for the hills 🏃‍♂️

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I would say if you are asking that question the you already know in your heart what you need to do. Being in that type of relationship and continually asking yourself if it’s time to call it quits will only eat at you more and more. You deserve to be happy. If you’re truly not happy then I would say it’s time to leave. It will be much healthier for your daughter to see her parents happy apart and still being her parents than for her to see you both miserable together.

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Take care of yourself first how can you take care of your kids if your not taking care of you?
Better yet.
Do you want your children to settle and be in a relationship like you have been if not then you have your answer

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I think you know the answer or you wouldn’t be asking the question.
His mum seems to be trying to get in between you both by making her look a ray of sunshine and you like a good for nothing. It’s YOUR home and you choose how to run it. If the mum doesn’t like it then she has an option to find alternative accommodation .
I have Snapchat for filters, I don’t have anyone on it just the kids love it it’s nothing your doing wrong. If he’s insecure that’s his outlook. Think of yours and your children’s happiness

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When you have to ask a question like this to strangers, it’s been time, honey! He is not doing right by you. He has not BEEN doing right by you. Then he nit picks you to emotionally abuse you by making you think you don’t measure up, when look at what he is doing to YOU!!! Walk out. Your family will help you. Just up and leave girl.

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The Bible says to leave and cleave. This is something I wouldn’t tolerate whatsoever. Even if you don’t believe, the leave and cleave message speaks to every marriage really. This is in no way a man, and to allow his mother to live with you and disrespect you? Absolutely not. He isn’t going to respect you as long as she’s around and influencing things. I’d leave honestly.

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I think you need to talk to him about your concerns. If you already have, and nothing has changed. Maybe it’s time to move on. Unfortunately…you’ll probably have to find a new place. But you will no longer have to deal with the mom or the kids that are not yours. The mom can do all the household chores & raise those other two kids now by herself. Just focus on your three kids & you…

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You deserve respect and he’s not willing to give it. You also don’t need permission to get Snapchat or anything else- you’re an adult. Time to take your kids and go.

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The time is now. Leave his sorry ass. You deserve better. AND your daughter needs to learn that this behavior is not okay! EVER!

I got cut off. Please listen, I lived this many years ago. You are number 1, not him. Please take yourself out of this toxic relationship. You are very important and so are your children. Some day you will find someone who knows this. And if you don’t you will know this. Let him go!

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Sounds like he just needs to be with his mommy :woman_shrugging:

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This is a very severe form of abuse. Yes it is important for children to have both parents in their lives. A parenting plan can be put in place through the courts so this happens. Do not give up you for him!

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If you aren’t happy find a way to leave. Im divorced twice with 2 kids and 2 different dads and on a different relationship about to be married again… Completely happy. Im only 34… Get happy :blush:

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Girl it is time to leave. That stress and bullshit him and his family is putting you through is not worth it. You shouldn’t have to isolate from your family or friends either. Your happiness and worth are so much more than that, and your daughter will grow up healthier and happier seeing you thrive than stick with something that’s not working. If he wants to still be a father, then he can. If he doesn’t, that speaks volumes of him.

Convenient his mum moved in when he seems to think you shag all the neighbours.
Mums there to watch you and report back to him. He is abusive and so is she. Run

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Best thing i ever did for myself and my girls was to leave my ex-husband. It wasnt easy emotionally or financially but it was the best most rewarding thing ive ever done for myself. I spent an entire year working on me, enjoying life, and spending time with my girls and friends. Life is short. Do whatever will make you happy.

First of all…HE is YOUR partner, he is NOT the rule maker, you decide the rules together. HE needs to let his mother know, that she is living in YOUR house. You are not a hotel. It is very nice and kind to open your home to family if they need it, BUT they must FIRST AND FOREMOST acknowledge you are granting a privelage, and if all can’t work at peace, they must move on. Take YOUR part in this family, he is king? Well YOU are QUEEN! Take your power. Good luck

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