Time to leave. He won’t ever change!
Tell moma to hit the road with her baby boy.
I say now is the time. He is obviously controlling and your in a unhealthy unhappy relationship. Grab your kiddos and peace out. If he chose not to see your daughter that’s on him but SHE WILL BE OK. Because she has her strong momma to take care of her. Peace and love to you!
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Run he is proabbly cheating atleast more than likely any guy that accuses I you its cause he is the one cheating! You need to leave but let him still see his daughter and maybe you can work it out after you leave if he changes only some guys get to comfortable and need a wake up call to realize what they have!
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Now. Now is that time. He does not care about you. He wants to control you. And being in a relationship without any appreciation is not healthy either. You need to leave because one day your daughter will understand better what is happening and you dont want to teach her that that is a healthy relationship. It is also okay to teach to leave when she isnt being treated the way she should be.
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You sound so unhappy. I believe you need to get back to you. Put your self and your children first. Make a plan and move on with your life. You deserve to be happy. You will never find it in an environment like that. My mom always told me when a man accuses you of doing something, it is actually them that is doing it. Find you some happiness. Good luck
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You’ve really answered your own questions… it’s not worth losing yourself to someone who doesn’t know your worth, and is tearing you down constantly. It’s worse to let your children witness this, and it’s most likely to be a relief for them to be away from the situation. If he chooses not to co-parent peacefully, then he doesn’t deserve time with them. You have to protect yourself emotionally and physically to be the best you, and parent. Don’t let this situation be your biggest regret. Maybe you will all be happier in the long run. 
hugs.
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Run, not walk away. Your daughter will be fine. It is better to show her that it is more powerful to walk away and stand up for yourself then to stay and allow someone else to disrespect you.
Set the example- you would not want her in the same type of relationship
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I’m a man and I say you should leave him and his family you should not have to take care of his family and yours too just to be accused of things and called names I would never put a woman in that kind of situation and I dam sure wouldn’t not want my daughter in that kind of relationship
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It is beyond time to take back your household. Have a conversation with your husband and tell him his mom has to go. And then find a reasonable time frame for the niece and nephew to go as well. I didn’t get if they are children or not. If they are adults I’d give them the same time frame as his mom. It sounds like there is so much chaos at your house that it’s not even your home anymore. Maybe when all the riff raff is out of your home you can focus on your marriage. Get counseling. If he doesn’t back you up on this I’d get the hell out and not look back. No one would blame you if you just packed up and left…it sounds intolerable.
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Get the hell out. Kids will adjust and much better for them out of that toxic home. Don’t wait. Don’t deny yourself the chance to be happy. Take it from me, life is extremely short
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It never will be good enough by the sounds of it. Also could be wrong here but those who start shouting out the your having an affair argument are usually the ones having the affair.
If you love him then tell him and really tell him your concerns and frustrations and if he loves you he will not moan he will listen and he will do more to help you and put things right.
If he chooses to not do these things then ima afraid you have your answer then you got to decide if this is how you live the rest of your life or do you get out and make somthing better. All the best
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Sounds like you should’ve left years ago. I’ve wasted years dealing with jealousy. It doesn’t change. If you’re not happy neither are your kids. My son did a complete 180 when I left. When I met my now bf my son told me he had never seen me smile and be in a good mood as I am now.
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Now. The time to leave is NOW! He and his tattle-tale mommy can take care of HIS niece and nephew together! If you are not being treated nicely and are not appreciated and are being called lazy and worthless- it’s time to go. If you are not experiencing once ounce of happiness in this relationship- why stay? Your kids will be happier in an environment that isn’t so toxic and where their mother isn’t constantly being treated like crap in front of them. You’re not doing the kids any favors by staying in this negative relationship and having them see their mom being treated this way.
Oh and as far as the cheating accusations- he’s probably the one cheating. Tell him between dealing with his mother and taking care of his niece and nephew and trying to get the chores done before his mother tattles on you, that you don’t have time for anything else! Leaving won’t be easy, but it will be worth it…For your peace of mind! I doubt hubby and MIL will ever be happy and content with you- it sounds like they are the type of people who will keep criticizing and picking on you no matter how much you do for them.
Best wishes for happier days in the future~
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It might be ideas that his mom is putting in his head as well. Find a new home for her,then the niece and nephew. Then a good Ole heart to heart with a “straighten up or im out a here” I know its hard but start making a plan now in case he doesnt straighten up. Good luck…
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Now! I know it is so difficult to do that. I was afraid to do that because my children were small. I stayed in the marriage for 16 years before I finally said enough is enough. He was angry and he said he would make me pay and that I’d be sorry. Make me pay? Yes he did he financially took half of everything I had, I was the one that worked full time and paid the bills, but sorry? NEVER!! I can now see my friends and family whenever I want. I can have them to my home and not be afraid that he would be angry, upset or rude to them. I wish I would have had the courage to walk away when my gut told me to. I would have saved myself and my children The misery of being in a marriage for another 16 years.
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Do not stay another second in that relationship. You will already be beating yourself up for how long you have stayed once you leave. I’m so sorry they are doing this to you… please run and get your kids away from them they are crazy
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Leave! Money might be tight, but your emotional stability will be wonderful. You will be able to breathe.
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Having been in a similar relationship I can tell you this: First off, no matter how much you talk to him or tell him how you feel, the mental and emotional abuse will NOT stop. Not from him and not from his mother. Furthermore, he’s teaching his nephew and niece that it’s acceptable to treat you this way. And your daughter is learning that it’s not only acceptable to treat YOU this way but also be treated the same in future relationships, and if it’s not ok in regards to her then why on Earth would you accept it for yourself. If I were you, I would leave the situation before it turns more volatile. Take your children with you and reestablish relationships with your friends and family. Whatever choices he makes when you leave in regards to your shared child are on him. You do you Mama and don’t let anyone hold you back!
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When you no longer find joy, comfort, and for filled with your companion, it’s time to evaluate.
It’s never easy, and it’s a hard choice. But you must have self respect , love yourself and be able to look in the mirror and live with that choice.
start taking care of yourself and your own. Him and his mother are grown individuals and can do things for themselves especially if they don’t like they way you do it.
If mom is well enough to do dishes and laundry, then it sounds like she can find a new place to live. Husband needs to be told that you do not Appreciate being accused of things and treated like a servant. If things don’t change, hit the road and find peace for you and your children. Everyone is so scared of being a single mom. I really enjoyed my time as a single mom. I had so much less stress and was happy…so my kids were happy!
Also remember that you are teaching your daughter how men and people should treat her. Do you want this for the adult her? She can still have a relationship with her dad but you don’t need to be in a relationship with the dad. Make a plan. Seek help from your family and friends and be careful.
Boy bye. He obviously doesn’t value you as a person and life is too short to stay miserable. You kids deserve a happy mom
Let his mum have it all.Have you got a little job.Go and pamper yourself and book with friends.Let his mum babysit seeing as she wants to do everything else and tell him to buck his ideas up as you have had enough…Be kind to yourself x
It is time to close this chapter and to start writing a new one with out him.
He is keeping you away from family and friends that is abuse. You don’t want your kids to learn that kind if behavior.
Thats crazy. Your man should have your back and support you not just hide behind his mom since the heat isnt on him. There are respectful and loving ways to set bounderies even for elders.
Let her do the work that’s makes her feel useful and needed,but do something you miss doing for yourself and try to enjoy life and don’t let them control everything!
In my experience if a man is accusing you he is the one cheating!!! And he is isolating you from your family!!! Love is never enough to stay and he is still able to be apart of his daughters life even if you leave but girl you deserve respect and you are not getting it!!! His mother sounds toxic too!!! Again I say this all with experience… I watched my mother go through it for years and then followed in her foot steps for a long time till I started seeing a counselor who helped me realize what was happening! I hope you figure things out cause you nor your children deserve to live that way!
Seek out counseling, you need help with setting boundaries and finding your self worth. We all can use support and guidance at different times in our lives.
Well, I guess the question is, do you love him? If so, I would talk to him about what you want for he and the kids and consider giving his mom, the niece and nephew the boot.
life is short and you have to take care of you so your able to take care of your kids. its hard to leave but u really need too. you and your kids will be so much better off. I have been there but mo kids i not only lost touch with friends and family heb would track my every move and who i was with . even when i was at work he would have friends come in and watch me i left it took me almost 5 yrs from the start of the relationship to end but i am so happy been married know to a good guy 18 yrs and have 2 amazing kids. please go to your family and they will help you.
I would leave him now, what kind of example is he showing your children . Best to get out while they still respect you . Good luck for your future
It is not a healthy situation. Don’t live that way! Been there and done that! Give your children and yourself a gift of a happy you! They will benefit more from that than having a father figure around.!!!
I hate to see young women go through this. I’m sorry you are! When I was young, and contemplating this very thing, I was going to a very good, compassionate counselor. She told me, that if you are still making excuses for the things he does, instead of seeing him for what he really is, it’s not time. Once you stop, it’s time. Also, if he is accusing you of having an affair, HE is probably the one doing it. He accuses you, to justify what he is doing. I hope this helps. I’m sorry you are going through this honey!
This poor mom. Caring for 5 children, a home, the (ill) mother in law, and not getting a break, means you’re going to break. What’s the topping of this sundae is your husband’s unfounded distrust and accusations. I wouldn’t say throw the marriage away. I think the toxicity of the MIL is what began the tipping point. You were still in your honeymoon period, and then an added stress was put on your family. I really think an open conversation needs to be had between you and your husband. Find a counselor and even if it’s just for you to go, he should be given the option to join too. In the very least, you can take care of yourself, which is needed badly.
Make a plan and get out! It is only gonna get worse. Abuse is abuse no matter what form it comes in. You are teaching your daughter what to expect from future boyfriends/husband. You are also teaching your boys how he should treat a girlfriend/wife. Show them the respectful and right way, not the way you are currently being treated.
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First off he is ok with his mommy rub your house and puts you down because of the things she says then this is a very toxic relationship. You have to think about what this is showing your children! It’s not going to be easy if you separate as I’m sure you will have to find a job and a different home or he would have to leave. It sounds like he is very controlling and potentially violent! And if he is accusing you of cheating, he probably is!
I feel for you it’s a tough situation. But I think you need to really sit down and talk to him and explain enough is enough you have way too much going on with family living there and the cheating situation is a whole Nother story. Maybe counseling
This literally is just like my history, honestly it’s like I wrote this post, however there was quiet a bit of mental and physical abuse in the mix. This resonates so strongly that I have the urge to tell you, please leave, put yourself first! Your children are watching these behaviors and your responses will be what they will allow to continue in their lives as they get older, &/or your older two when old enough may hold hurt and pain against you because you tried to hold it together for the other sibling. At the least please seek outside sources. The best advice when I started searching for advice, is one if you’re already asking you already know and two it’s either one day at a time or day one?
This is your life dont let others live it for you!
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Talking about it is a good start, what you do next is all up to you. It doesn’t seem like you need a divorce just some self care, time with your husband and some marriage counseling…
You need to go now. Staying because of your child is not the answer. You are teaching her what is acceptable from a man and this is not it.
It sounds like you’re being taken advantage of. It’s almost like you are there as a care giver only and not really a wife since your husband seems to feel like it’s your responsibility to look after everything and everyone. Your husband seems to be in a relationship with his mother instead of with you. I would separate for a while and see how YOU feel after being away from this situation.
The time is NOW. Not to be harsh but you are traumatizing your girls and teaching them that this type of behavior is acceptable and may get into the same sort of relationship when they are ild enough and the boy will most likely exhibit the behaviors as well. Get out and take care of you and your children!!!
Run do not walk, pack your kids and move out. I do not say this lightly, you are in an unhealthy toxic relationship and your kids see it…I’m so sorry that you are going through this.
Happy parents = Happy kids. The fear of your daughter not having her dad means you think he may be a bad father? A parent who wants to be a parent will do so no matter the circumstances and how they change.
Using your child as an anchor to stay in a relationship you obviously are not happy in will just give you an lifetime of regret and much worse. If your desire is to leave do so!. The rest will fall in place.
You are as important as anyone else you make important. But for some reason you have forgotten that…
Mom needs her own place and she can take her grandkids with her. I was in a situation similar to yours where my husband put his nom first over me & his/our kids, needless to say after 34 years of marriage I decided I didn’t want to be married to him any longer, “plus he was living a secret life to boot”. I needed to put me & my kids first, which helped me mentally, it put me in a better state of mind🙏🏻
Leave him! Does not matter if you still love him! He clearly does not respect you. IF he loves you, he will kick mom and others out and ask you back. Then you can decide if you still love him. If he doesn’t ask you back, live your life with your girls!! Simple!!
If you still love him. It’s time to have a talk. A very serious one. Do not threaten divorce. Do not make excuses for anyone. Just be firm on the fact that mom needs to move out in order to save your marriage because clearly she can not and will never show you respect which is becoming very detrimental to your mental health and your marriage. If he loves you then part of him will agree.
It’s time. You are a slave and you’re teaching your children to be slaves. No way is what you’re going through right. Noone should live like that. Leave.
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Sounds like he can’t cut the cord and if she does it so well let him have her taking care of him for the rest of his life obviously his mommy is more important than you hell maybe he needs to sleep with her also see how that works out you are only one person and have children I say F- HIM
Time to leave. You can take care of his family but he still treats you like this. It will not get better and may get worse
Honestly I would take my kids to the store with me and never come back that is literally how I left an abusive relationship yours doesn’t sound physical but you’re definitely being abused mentally and you don’t deserve it at all let those people have themselves they sound insane all of them
Honestly, i wish someone would have told me that i was able to do it on my own. I would have left so long ago. Instead i was there for 7 years. The second i left it was the best second of my life! There is so much help out there. There are also organizations that can pick you up and take you to a safe place.
The time to leave is now! When you know you’re not happy and when you have seen things consistently go against what is good or right for you. Stop waiting for things to change and make the change you need! If the man in your life is not taking care of you, time for you to do it for yourself!
Same situation minus the mother in law living with me. She was very vocal throughout the entire 5 year relationship. Finally had enough and left in January. I now have my own house and everything in my life is so much better. You don’t realize how your life can improve so much until it does.
NOW! If your unhappy then your not being their fully for your kids. Do what you need to do and leave you have to put yourself first sometimes! I’m sorry your feeling this way but it will get better
When exactly are you supposed to have time to cheat between taking care of five kids and his mom? 
Personally, I’d have already left.
Just because you’re not with him doesn’t mean that your daughter won’t have a dad… I mean one has nothing to do with the other! Choose what’s best for you in the end that’ll be what’s best for them (the children)
In your heart you will know. And there will be no 2nd thoughts, you will go and you won’t look back… you deserve to be happy and your kids will be happier also…
The time to walk away was years ago. Get yourself a good lawyer, take him for every penny you can, in fact, demand the house. If he’s siding with his nephew and his mother, I’m betting your kids are just as miserable as you are. And if he’s accusing you a cheating without evidence, he probably is. As it stands he’s controlling and that is abusive.
I’d give his mom a 30-day notice- and then give him 30 days. Now you’ve got 30 days to find a place to live, or sit back down and plan your escape like all women.
He sounds like a classic Narcissist honestly and if that’s the case everything you give he feels like he deserves; it will never be appreciated. My suggestion is that you save as much money as you can and then leave ASAP because in my experience it will only get worse
You are stronger than you think you are and at the end of the day those babies don’t care who their father is because mama has always been there!!!
Leave!! He will never take your side against his family. He is trying to isolate you from your family and friends, like a predator would. It’s been my experience the one accusing is who’s doing the cheating. He just wants you to think you can’t make it without him. Stand up straighten that backbone and get out. It will only get worse if you don’t.
Wow that’s a lot! Just remember that your kids are watching and will repeat behaviors in their future relationships. Would you want your daughter with a guy like your husband? Or would you want your son treating a woman the way your husband does? These are things to think about. The whole trust thing bothers me most about your situation. Guilt breeds jealousy. Usually the ones pointing the finger are doing so because of their own guilt.
Divorce isn’t cheap but to stop the cycle now before your children repeat it is key.
Take your kids and run. He doesn’t need a wife. He just wants someone to bash.
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I am so sorry that this is your current situation. I would say pack your kids and run but I don’t think it would be that simple. Communicate. Do you tell him how you feel? How you feel trapped and isolated. If he is responsive to the discussion that is a good thing. If not, if he gets defensive, I would leave. You only have one life to live. If this was your life for the rest of your life…would you be satisfied? That is the most important thing. You! Kids will understand, maybe not now, but looking back they will. But if you are happy and healthy in all forms your kids will see it was for the best. You are the captain of your and your child’s vessels. If you were a child watching your mother live like this…would it be okay?
Sounds like his mom is trying to make things bad. Sounds like if she doesn’t go then it’s time for the kids sake to think about what’s best for them. Seems like his mom is doing things on purpose and if she to sick to live on her own them why can she do all this housework?
Sweetheart the time has past but the good news is it’s not too late…IMO you need to end it NOW…Often times when a person who isn’t cheating is constantly being accused of it and without any good reason, the accuser is the one cheating…They think because they are, you must be too or else it’s their guilty conscience that makes them accuse you… There’s far too many comments on this post for me to read through but I’m 100% sure I’m not the first one on here to tell you that…That’s just one of the reasons you need to get out now, you posted the other ones yourself hun…If he wants to be married to his mom, fine leave them right there together to take care of their family’s offspring…NOW HUNNY NOW
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Get out now. Let Hubby & MIL take care of the niece and nephew and run the house by themselves. Get out, get a job and as much education you can manage. Be a positive role model for your kids.
You are in an abusive relationship. Your husband has issues to deal with. Leave if possible and take your daughter with you. Do not confront any of them. Make a plan. Go out for milk and don’t come back. Do not let him know where you went. Experience speaking
Never ever stay in a relationship just for your kids. I found that out the hard way.
Sounds like now is as good as time as any and just because you leave your husband doesn’t mean your daughter can’t have a relationship with him
Run, not walk. Now is the time for you and your kids to leave. Sorry for what you are going through, but it is way past time for you to take care of yourself and your kids.
Well for starters never stay with a man just because you have a child together. I did that for 7 years and it mentally destroyed me. It’s never easy living with relatives. This is why I won’t allow it in my home. Causes to many issues. I think you need to have a long conversation with your husband about what you are feeling. Give him a chance to fix it. If he still continues the same behavior then I’d walk away. I’d also discuss with him that maybe it’s time for his mom to move out if she can’t change her ways as well. You need to be happy in your own house.
GET OUT NOW. IT ONLY GETS WORSE. I wish I had known this quote years ago when I was trying to hold onto an abusive relationship because of my kids but the quote says, “kids would rather come from a broken home than live in one”. I stayed way too long and you never get that time back.
I’m sorry your going through that. Sounds to me like hes choosing his mom over you since hes not defending you with his mom. He needs to realize that when your married that family comes first. And with him accusing you of cheating most likely means hes the one cheating. I would say sit down with him and let him know how your really feeling and see how that goes. If he still acts the same after knowing how you feel then it’s time to move on. He can still see his daughter and not be together with you. Dont stay just because you have a daughter with him, that’s not healthy for her to see you always upset. Maybe you leaving will be what he needs to realize what hes doing is wrong.
Honestly no one can tell you when done except you. All my children (3) have different dads and that exactly why I stayed in the last one so long. But it doesn’t matter you can do this but it all determines when you are done
What people are saying on here is true. You are wasting precious time and in time to come you will realize you should have left. Don’t waste your life on misery. It doesn’t stop it only grows. There is true happiness out there. You may not see it now but you will never see it the longer you stay. One day you will wake up and realize you wasted 21 years on settling for a comfort zone you put yourself in. The truth is I did it. I wanted to keep my family together. I felt like my life would sink and I wouldn’t be able to provide for my children. I won’t tell you it will be easy. It will be hard at first but the effort is so worth the rewards of finding happiness for yourself and your children. My daughter grew up in the same environment your children are growing up in. My daughter is married and comfortable living in the same environment she saw me go through. When I try to talk to her about it she reminds me of what I went through and I ended up fine. It breaks my heart because I have a happy life now and I wish I could go back and given my babies this happiness. If you don’t do it soon your heart will break when you listen to your daughters vents but comfort in a toxic relationship. Sweetheart there is happy ever after out there but you have to take the leap of faith to get it. Prayers and hugs to you.
Sounds like The time has been there when he let his Mom start running the House. Thats disrespectful to you and how the 2 of you run your home even if its his Mom.
Seems trust is an issue. And this will never change. You can never be happy with someone that doesn’t trust you, even of you are 100% trustworthy, if he doesn’t believe it, its time to go! I wouldn’t waste another minute there! Good luck!
Leave now!! He doesn’t deserve you or your kids. And they don’t need to see that toxic poison from him or his mother. When someone accuse you of cheating 9 times out of 10 they are. My ex-husband was mentally verbal to me and accuse me of cheating,he was the one cheating for the 5 years of our marriage. I left him,file for divorce and never looked back!! I have a great husband of 21 years and I never thought I would fine someone. We are all here for you. Keep us posted love.
Would you want your daughter to stay in this type of relationship? You and her father provide the pattern for her future relationships.
I think the time to leave is now. There is no “you” in this situation. You have allowed your self to get lost. Stand up to all of them and demand what you need! If this doesn’t work I believe you would be better off starting a new life with your children.
Sounds like you and your kids should have been gone a long time ago
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It’s hard I have been there my dad moved in with me and my husband and 4 kids it took a toll on me and my husband my dad was lazy he stay in my kids bed all day he tried to play dad it came do to me picking my husband or dad it was hard but I had to tell my dad he had to move and he did if your husband loved you he would put you before his mom
I’d get rid of him, he sounds controlling and he sounds like a mamas boy! I wouldn’t put up with his mom living with u guys, let alone being disrespected all the time! U should take your kids and get out of that relationship everything you said sounds toxic and ridiculous
They’re toxic. I’d say talk to them about your feelings, but it sounds like it won’t help anyway. Get out!
Leave Now. All warnings signs are there for an abusive relationship. I came from a similar situation as a child. My parents divorced when I was five. I respect her more every day for leAving. Remember if the father or father figure is abusive even verbally, your daughter learns that it is okay to treat women that way. I married a man like my dad but left after 11 months.
Only you know what to do, make him handle his mother and if he will not…make your decision, save up your money, it will be rough. Mine did handle his mother…
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Run!!! My mother was married to my father for 23 years and during that time he accused her of cheating with everyone,the neighbors his friends. Meanwhile he was out cheating himself. If he’s accusing you it’s cause he’s doing it himself! My father got to the point of hitting her as well. I remember going to woman’s shelters when that happened. One of my worse memories. After 23 years she finally left him.
A home can only have one queen. As long as his Mom is there, she is queen. It is you or Mom. 
I hate saying this but typcially when a spouse is always accusing you of cheating (and is going through your phone) it’s because THEY are cheating. I’m not saying this is always the case, but maybe you should just straight out ask him if he is cheating…his answer may help you decide on what to do next. He may not answer you honestly, but you’ll know whether or not he is being truthful…listen to your gut. Good luck
Your mental health is way more important. The minute you are being told you are lazy and worthless its the moment you shut down without even knowing it. Never stay with anybody because of children. If you do youbare teaching them it is okay to be treated in a horrible way. Good on you for bringing his sick mother and them niece and nephew into your home, but that doesn’t mean you deserve or should have to take the mental abuse. Mental abuse you don’t heal from. I say get out with your kids(who are much more important) and heal yourself so you can find somebody who will love and appreciate everything you do and everything you are.
Ok. My answer/questions for you may not be the popular ones, but are necessary. First of all, are you being lazy (not accusing of so, just asking you to dig and be honest with yourself), sometimes we would rather deal with the names in the fall out from not doing the chore then we would actually get up and do the chore. I don’t know how sick the mother-in-law is, but if you know she’s going to do it if you don’t you may be unintentionally taking advantage of that situation. As far as the niece and nephew, this is hard bc they do need a bit extra from you all for what they’re going thru. Not an excuse to misbehave, but a way to maybe try to understand the behaviors and redirect. NO SPOUSE SHOULD EVER NAME CALL. This IS abuse. But it certainly does not sound like these troubles for you guys are new or the only ones. And typically when a spouse makes constant accusations of cheating, it truly is bc they are or are having serious thoughts of cheating (not every time, but majority). I’m not sure that throwing in the towel is the answer, because that just seems to be everyone’s answer nowadays. I think you should try some serious marriage counseling and a little more open communication where you both are actually listening and attempting to make the changes that need made. Sorry so long but I do try to be as unbiased as possible knowing I’m only hearing half the story 
. Best wishes to your family
Your daughter can still have a dad just because yall divorce doesnt mean she cant have her dad that is unless he simply choses to not be thier so if thats all your worried about than leave if your done your done thats the time to leave
If you have to ask it’s time to leave. If he wants to be a dad he will see his daughter. It sounds like you are being emotionally and mentally abused. Get out and take your kids. Take care can of yourself and your children. They need you. I have been down this road. I finally left best decision I ever made. Good luck and God Bless
He sounds very controlling and I would walk away. It sounds miserable and no one should have to live like that. Life is way to short.
Get out to save yourself. You deserve to be happy. Do not teach your children this is what a relationship is, or they will live the same way. 
Ok I have people that have been staying with me for two years. Not relative’s bc they lost their house. I finally told them to get out. My marriage was being tested to the point I was losing my hair. If they can work they can get their own place including your in laws. There are programs for those that need help.