RED FLAGS EVERYWHERE 
Ive been in your shoes (well not with the live in mother in law, as I would have NEVER been OK with that and I didn’t have to as his mother passed before we married) but the constant ridiculous accusations, being called lazy, him going thru your phone, being cut off from family…JUST NO! Those are all abusive behaviors and you deserve better. You leaving her father doesn’t mean she doesn’t have a father. It means she will have separate time with her father in which you are not involved (if he’s decent). Be the example you want you children to be. If they see you being spoken down too, shamed and everything else, that’s what they will look to when they are older in their relationships. If you wouldn’t want your children treated this way by a partner, then don’t stick around and let them think it’s ok.
I would definitely leave but make sure you have somewhere for you and your children to go that is safe and that you take whatever time you need to “make your plan” rather than just jumping the gun prematurely. Being on your own with 3 children is not easy (I have 4 and left a physically abusive spouse) but you can do it. I wish you the best of luck.
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Sad sad for you. You should have known this when you married him. Counseling sounds like a place you all need to be. I would be grateful for my mother-in-law help.
Time to stop being everyone’s doormat and personal slave. Tell them you are done and they can start taking care of each other bc
(1) Apparently they don’t like the way you do it.
(2) You didn’t get married to be an unwelcome slave in your own house.
(3) All your attention and time will now be devoted to raising your own kids and not being used and bullied by everyone else.
Leave. He will either appreciate you 100x more when reality actually slaps him in the face, or be ok with it. If that’s the case, you’ll be better off without him.
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Holy crap just the mom stuff eas overwhelming and now you have more to deal with. I would explain to him you need a break and that this isn’t working and find a new place for you and your kids.
He is taking advantage of u. Don’t waste time missing out spend quality time with ur kids. I would be gone.
RE read what you posted and pretend you’re reading another’s post. What would you tell them to do? I think you already know the answer, babe 
it’ll be hard at first but it gets better
Sounds like he and his mom deserve to live happily ever after together. 
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LEAVE. HIM.
They don’t care about you. You’re just convenient to them. Pack your bags and go make a •HAPPY• life for yourself.
It’s passed time… This is not a healthy relationship / partnership.
If he’s accusing you if cheating, nine times out of ten, he’s the one cheating. Just sayin’ 
Put mom in assisted living
I say talk to him first before doing something. tell him it’s time for his mother, nephew and niece to move out or you might end up moving out. Tell him everything that is really going on. If he doesn’t change, then it’s time to move out so you can have some peace.
What you just wrote here tell him, talk to him
Take care of your mental well being sis. The kids will adapt and hopefully later in life will understand that things life this is part of life. Do what’s best for you, and THIS situation honey, doesn’t sound like your even barley happy. If my husband said his mom is moving in… Either she is not, or I will leave. As far as the effection, or lack of from your feller, idk…he may be under a lot of pressure and stress from the situation as well, and just not really knowing what “side” to be on, so…he runs with momma. Idk though…what I do know is, you deserve more. You deserve better. You deserve peace comfort and happiness in whatever home you are in.
Run, hon. Nobody’s respecting u then get the fork outta there
Get a lawyer and get them both out of your home
Toxic af…get away from that crap fast.
Yes run as fast as you can
This is awful and abuse. Leave.
If you have to ask the question you already know the right answer… it is time to leave him.
Bless you. Get a plan together and get yall out when it’s safe to do so.
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You need to move on with your life do what best for yourself
Take the kids and go. Life is too short.
Kick them all to the curb
NOW is the time to leave because if hes blaming you then hes probably the one cheating. His mom is also an issue there and if he cant see any of this hes dumb and stupid. YOU can do way better than that douchebag.
Leave him and his crazy mother. 
Take your children and go! Don’t waste another minute on that shit.
Put her in assisted living if she is trying to run your house she is not that sick.
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Moms are often a huge wedge in relationships. If I’m ever in another relationship I’m looking for someone with a dead mom.
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I am so sorry your in this situation. I would call this gaslighting and emotionally abusive. Our children see what we try to hide, they are wise. Please find some therapy for yourself and figure out what is best for you and your kids💚
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If roles were reversed and it was your mother family needing help would he do the same for you if answer is no then there is no mutual love or respect
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I hear alot of you asking about love… Nothing in that statement leaves much room for love of another let alone of herself…get out he knows exactly what he is doing
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Wow, I am so sorry for the way that you’re being treated. I personally think that the first thing you need to do is to find a therapist. You need to learn how to speak up for yourself, establish boundaries and enforce them. You’re letting them walk all over you for fear of being shamed but not having a voice and avoiding conflict is making you miserable. Last I checked, what YOU think about you if much more important than what other people think of you. Also, a therapist will help you through the process whether it’s coming up with a plan to leave or stay.
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Lady leave your only teaching your children how to be adults your son watches his father treat you like a house slave and men do no wrong and your daughters that all a woman should want and do is plz the man and your slowly loosing yourself i can hear your pain and desperation… Leave and do it for you and your childrens future
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You only live once dear. Make the best of it! Talk to hubby, put that foot down. You are mama! You run the house! You make sure it doesnt fall apart, the kids are cared for and the food is done for dinner! If they cant appreciate you or work with you it’s time to get out. No sense in waiting your life with people who are making you unhappy you deserve happiness.
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I am trying to figure out how anyone would say to have a discussion and work this out. Working out the Mom issue deserves discussion. Working out the nephew and niece deserves discussion. Discussion of the emotional abuse this woman is going thru isn’t going to solve anything and in fact will more than likely make it worse. Add on top the husband will go to his mommy and complain and then get her involved. Peace out of that hot mess. It is better to be a single mom than your children see you go thru that kind of abuse
Time to make an appointment with a counselor for yourself to get clarity. This is a very difficult decision and going to a counselor for “you” will bring you strength to do what “you” need to decide.
All I want to say is the Snapchat issue and being accused of cheating…when you clearly have not…could be red flags…
But that’s only based on my experience
You know when you’re done but times are also stressful for everyone. Clear and Concise Communication is the only thing that helps
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From the moment you see he attacks you for everything his mom says … Thats the sign …he prefers his mom over you and we all know you should love your parents but the family you create will always come first. He isn’t respecting you and he gives you no voice nor rights… Its like what you say has no value… You are in the wrong house surrounded by the wrong people. And i would say he definitely has someone else his messing with… Now is the time to get out… What will u wait on ? To finally see how he destroy you and at the end see how he is cheating for you to realize that it wasn’t worth staying? If he would love you he would never treat you they way he is doing. That isn’t love… Ask your self if he treated you the same way when u guys just started the relationship… Get out and look at it from a distance… Everything gets more clear and u will see what we all seeing …
from the minute you question your self if its time to leave its because its already time… A happy person never question her self
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Don’t ever stay in a toxic relationship just because kids are involved! Always put your kids first and if that means leaving a relationship to better yourself and give your kids a healthier environment then do it, I suggest start with just a separation for the time being and if the two of you can co-parent better that way rather than being together then you know that it’d best to stay separate and then go from there with divorce and continue to co-parent. I know for myself I was 3 months pregnant with my oldest son who will be 4 this year and I had to leave my relationship with his dad and to be quite honest his dad and I are better off friends and co-parent quite well. Hugs to you and I wish you the best for yourself and your kids❤
Sorry to hear that you are going through this. I would try to talk to him and let him know just how you are feeling and how it is affecting. If he acts like he isn’t concerned or just plain out doesn’t care then it’s time to move on. It sounds like a controlling relationship and I have been there myself. It doesn’t get any easier ecspecially if you love someone but at least talk and give the benefit of the doubt. Sometimes in laws can have a very bad effect on relationships as well. I hope it gets better for you
Draw your line. Seriously take some time to figure out where your line is and draw it…dont draw it in sand (metaphorically). Draw it in concrete (metaphorically). What im saying is find where you feel enough is enough and dont keep making excuses for him or his family. Having a parent happy over stressed is the best for kids. If a man wants to change, he will. He is not going to keep making excuses for not changing.
Honey, figure out if you want to stay and continue to hope for change or if you are ready to move on. It truly is all up to you. You just need to think serious for a good moment.
I would honestly address the situation with him first. Let him know how you’re feeling, dont mention the wanting to leave part. Not yet anyway. If thing don’t improve let him know youre not happy and that you think it would be best to separate.
If you’re asking, chances are you don’t see any hope. If you don’t feel loved, and you don’t feel respected, maybe you should move on. You’re not worthless. No one should be treated like a second class dish rag. If you don’t want your children seeing it for what it is, then you need to make changes. Even if that means leaving. Hope you can find some peace
Get the hell out cuz that’s what happen to me I couldn’t dill it u either kick out ur mom dad his sister s an brother or I was leaving hem u want ur family there or I am leaving
You need to get out he’s controlling and you deserve better you don’t need to be treated that way
I’ve always have found in my 48 years on this earth 
… if they accuse you of it… either their thinking about cheating… or have already cheated! If that man don’t know your value… 
bye b****!
I had the best mother in law and she lived next door to us
Time to let go. Your gut will tell you when the right time will be. You don’t deserve any of this. No one does. Be strong. 
MIL needs to move out along with the rest of his family. This is pure torture
Oh nothing about this relationship should ok. You are not his puppet.
How important is your marriage ?
He’s a narcissist and he is gaslighting you. Leave him.
How do you know when it’s time to end a relationship?
When you ask yourself that question.
Sounds like your husband is an asshole and your mom is a bitch that has her eyes on your husband wanting his praise.
You can’t change people, so change yourself. Don’t give them the power to take your happiness away.
Focus on yourself and your kids. Let all else worry about themselves. Once you stop giving them the power they will step back and question themselves.
You will know the heart don’t lie
You deserve so much more.
Id leave life is too short someone will appreciate everything he isn’t.
I didn’t have to get past sentence 4. It sounds like a good idea to separate.
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Now is enough. You just need to leave someone like that. I’m not saying cheating is right either, but it’s no wonder that you did.
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It’s time to end it. Your children shouldn’t see , hear their parents problems. Hopefully things will get better for you!
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Well WHY do you. Move back home start over, be sane.
DO JUST THAT RUN!!! a you both are toxic please leave before it get to physical. The kids will be fine eventually. But it your marriage so it’s up to you. Pray on it
At this point you know how he treats you is wrong and you’re not happy… Stop worrying about the why… & just go…
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I think you know what needs done. It’s really up to you if you want to continue to live the way you do and waste more time in a very toxic marriage.
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Love,leave! I’m going through the same exact thing except my husband will sit in the living room all night, never come to bed…or he will leave the house, sometimes hone from 12-20 hours at a time! I’ve been through the drug stage, emotional, verbal, and physical abuse…2 domestic violence charges in 2 months…him going to prison and giving him a second chance. I found meth in my home last night and that was the final straw, I’m in the process of finding funding for a divorce and a eviction to get him away from Myself and my kids. If your children are even telling you to leave…please listen!!
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stand-up for you and your kids. you are showing your kids that its oknto be treated like that. leave! I know it may sound daunting but you are one strong mom bear and you can do it. reach out to your old friends I bet they will open the door for you
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Shuu ,it’s a lot but all I can say that choose you ,no one else will do it for you.
Bonus your children support you, so choose you.
Love and light
Leave. He sounds horrible and worse, he doesn’t even try to change for the better.
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I would think to yourself about what you would say to one of your children if the roles were reversed and it was one of them in this relationship. If you wouldn’t want your child to stay there’s you answer. You would never want this for your children or someone you love so love yourself enough to walk away. It sounds like you’ve given more than enough. Life is too short & too precious to stay in something that brings so much unhappiness. You are worth way more than this you have a whole life yet to live!
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Oh heck no
Get tf out of there ! You get one lifetime to be happy !
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I think you should have ended it a long time ago. Love sucks but nothing is going to make this work.
Either pack your stuff up and go. Or pack his stuff up and kick him out.
What else needs to happen? Would you want your kids to be in a relationship like this? Would you want your daughter to be treated this way? Would you want your son to treat someone this way?
I hope the answer is no. So leave.
You know the answer, go. Do it for yourself & your kids. You all deserve better then that.
You already know what you have to do, you can woman up and leave his ass or live your life in a loveless toxic marriage that you’ll never find true happiness in. That choice is yours. Do you love yourself enough to jump out of your comfort zone?
Omg are you my neighbor? Lol I hear the guy yelling all the time 
and he sounds mean just like that 
Try marriage counseling first
Both of you both need to make changes. Is there still love.
Leave.
It’s not gonna get any better. You’re just gonna suffer and make yourself miserable
It sounds as if this happen a while back and even counseling didn’t work. He seems ticked that someone else could actually give you what he won’t and as far as his lame excuse that there wasn’t sex involved bc he was too drunk is just that lame bc it just says that if he hadn’t been so intoxicated he would have so that tells you there he didn’t care then and has made no effort to care now either. You both are teaching your children that this is as good as it gets when you marry young, have kids, drift and mishaps happen and you tolerate each other and the guilt and grow miserable bringing everyone down to your levels in the process. No affair is ever one sided, no I don’t condone them but they happen when like you said there mental/physical abuse involved and it’s an escape route for some. Go while you are still young and I can almost guarantee you and your kids will be a lot happier and your husband will be probably as well - it’s never to late to start over and there is nothing wrong with it either. Good luck in whatever choice you make but I truly hope it’s the one that make you happy again.
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He’s still abusive. DON’T WALK, RUN. If your kids are telling you to divorce then y’all are LONG overdue for a divorce.
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It’s hard to leave something you are use to. You’ve been with him for so long the change will be different. Your life will change. I understand that fear. But darling, the change will be for the better. No matter what mistakes you have made in your marriage, he made some too. Sounds like you have faced yours and hes not. Hes blaming. And he does not have the right to treat you this way. Its abuse. Leave him and find happiness within yourself and for your children’s sake. It’s never easy but very worth it. Do it now. Get out. Best of luck
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I’d say time to go, prob should run.
Leave. You should have left when he cheated.
I can relate to a lot of things here…I once read a quote saying something along the lines that people would rather stay in a negative relationship/situation that’s familiar rather than leave because of the unknown and it completely makes sense.
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News flash…he is still abusive…time to call it quits.
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He sounds gross. And fyi, Playstations always say that when you unplug it without shutting it down. It does nothing to the Playstation at all. He’s dramatic.
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Like you said you have been with him more than you have been alone, part of you wants to fix it it because of this, but you are not doing you or your kids any good staying. From the sounds of it your kids will thank you.
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You sound like an amazing, patient person. You deserve love. Time to go find it. Best of luck to you.
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Sweetheart you need to leave him asap! My sister went through this. She stayed with her partner for the kid’s. He was rotten to her right from the beginning. He would cheat, and then try saying it was due to my sister 
. Classic Narcissistic behavior.
My sister ended up being diagnosed with terminal cancer in 2019, and he was aweful to her. He abused her and neglected her. It broke my heart when she started telling me just how horrible he was to her 
.
Please for your sake, and for the sake of your kid’s, leave him!
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The only real question: are you better off with him? If the answer is NO, then leave. You have already decided it is no, you just are reluctant to leave that nest. Time to go, the longer you wait, won’t make it easier.
I stopped at “My kids tell us to divorce”.
What would you tell your children if they asked you this?
You already know.
Starting over isn’t easy so see every lawyer you can for a consult. Get your priorities in order & go.
Why stay? Everyone is miserable.
Your children should want to immulate your marriage not run from it.
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He sounds like a jerk who has zero interest in ur marriage
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Oh sis his ego is so hurt. Of course he had sex with the other person he’s just trying to be a victim. Just leave. You’re trying your hardest to make it work but his male ego is too bruised to let it go. That’s the thing about some people. They cna never see the wrong in what they did but act like a wounded animal when something is done to them. He’s super toxic. He’s not there for the kids either because he’s not involved. He’s really just trying to make you all miserable because misery loves company. Just unblock everyone he made you block and try to rebuild those relationships then leave. If you’re doing everything he wants and he’s still acting this way you may as well do what you want and be happy 
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You’re in the cycle of abuse that’s why he is nasty then nice it’s so you’ll stay it’ll never get better get out of there and your kids are watching And listening even if you think they don’t know what is going on they do no matter how young they are. I would leave and get them all counseling they will likely end up in toxic/abusive relationships as well. Teach them what they should and should not put up with. There is help out there available to you just research online. I’m sure if you reach out to your family they would help you guys. Abusive people make you cut off your family and friends so that you don’t have anyone to point out their abuse and or help you if you decide to leave. It’s really scary but waiting will only hurt you in the long run. Start putting money aside in your own bank account and make sure you have all of your and your kids paperwork in a safe or bag in your trunk or somewhere that he won’t find it ready to go! If you don’t have money get a job there are a lot of remote jobs available right now or factory jobs everywhere. Make friends with your neighbors and keep a daily log with dates and times to record the abuse like what he did with the flashlight so that you can show your lawyer.
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It been a long time coming I would say. Listen to your children they are telling you.something. Listen to yourself, your head, your heart! It’s time
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In my opinion you have already made up your mind to leave you just don’t know how I went through a very similar experience you’ll know when it time and you won’t look back I did it you can too it made me a better person…is it scary and hard to do??? Damn rite it is but for yourself peace and having a sane mind it’s the right thing your kids will grow up and eventually understand why you did what you did and they will love you even more for it keep your head up and never give up on yourself! Everything will fall into place and you’ll be amazed of how strong you are.
LEAVE he ant worth it you get over it I no I’ve been there I was married 38 years
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And now I’ve got all the love in the world my kids and my granchildren
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