Divorce honey. Not healthy for you, for him or your kids.
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I agree with them ^^ it’s time to go. Like the lady up there said if this was your friend saying these things what would be your advice to her? You and your kids will be much happier.
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Divorce is not the end. You deserve to be happy.
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Your mind is made up. Go you have left him by the tone of your writing
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You need to run, not walk away. You are teaching your kids that it is ok to treat a woman this way & that it is okay for a man to act like this. Do you want your kids to end up in a relationship like yours? I know you don’t. I can hear & feel your pain in your comment. Please put your children in a happy place far away from this situation.
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I don’t think you need us to tell you it’s time to go… Deep down you already know that.
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Simple answer. LEAVE. Now. Go find the YOU that YOU are now. You’ll both be happier in the end.
Im a Needy B-word… ill be the first to admit it… but all the things that you want isn’t really be needy…its human nature to want to feel Loved…and cared for … the need for your husband to adore you Is real !!! Everyone feels it . Not one person on this page can tell you what to do, it’s your marriage… my advice : Don’t ever let anyone disrespect you, make u feel less than you are , or make you feel like you aren’t worth the "high maintenence " he says you are . As easy as he doesn’t care for it , someone else is around the corner wanting to give it. You staying in a hurtful relationship isn’t helping anyone. Prayers for you to stand up 
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I stopped ready at the high maintenance comment and surprised I made it that far. IMO you should have already left. No reason for anyone to be treated that way.
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I’ve been through somewhat similar … but now I totally trust in God!!
Proverbs 3.5-6 is my favorite!!
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not unto thine own understanding.
In ALL thy ways acknowledge him, and HE shall direct thy path.
- PRAY-
Your marriage is already over, love. Emotionally you’ve already left him. The only reason you are staying is because you have believe you have no other options. He has made you feel 2 inches tall. You deserve better. Life is too short to put up with that bs. Go find your happiness!!
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He is all you know, so the thought of starting over can be both overwhelming and terrifying. Not only should you leave for yourself…because you deserve so much better…but you need to leave for your children. I promise the physical act of walking out that door (or changing the locks and forcing him to leave) is the hardest part. Once you’re able to do that, you’ll begin to see how much better your life is going to be.
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Please don’t let your children see you in a bad marriage anymore than they already have, let them see that it’s to not tolerate shit and abuse. Life is far to short to spend it with someone who doesn’t deserve you. Time to go back to family and start fresh
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You stay Bc it’s comfortable. You’ve been with him for so long. But it is definitely time and I think you know that. We all support your decision to leave. It’ll be hard Bc that’s all you’ve really known but trust me it’s for the best. You’ll be much happier in the long run.
Get out now before the resentment is all that’s left
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I personally believe you choose to stay because it’s easier than leaving. You need to realize that yes, at first it will be hard. But if you love yourself and your kids, you will do what’s right.
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we don’t live long so live happy. the man i am with now was with his ex for 10 years and he stayed with her for the same reason “the kids”. he said they hardly ever had sex, hardly ever did ANYTHING together, had nothing in common anymore, & the list goes on. He said with them co-parenting (now that he’s with me) he still feels like nothing has changed between them, they’re more friends than anything. They both mutually left each other when the time came. they both realized that the relationship was over way before either one of them spoke up & that happiness is worth more. it sounds very similar to your situation because within those 10 years they had both also cheated on each other worked through it and stayed together, got married even. He was terrified to leave because he didn’t want the chance of his kids being taken if he were to say he wasn’t happy anymore and wanted to go separate ways. now that they are not together they are both with different people and literally couldn’t be happier of where they are in life right now and they coparent together so good! even though i’m the female with the women’s ex husband i can see how happy she is with not being with him and was able to move on as well. people fall out of love and it was very hard for both of them to actually put their foots down and move on. i respect the fact that they arent in love each other but i know at the end of the day they still have love for each other because of their kids. (if that makes sense). overall after reading your post i’d say your situation sounds a bit worse and i’d get out but i know it’s not as easy as it sounds. It does sound like you guys have done what you can and i think the clock is just ticking on who brings the conversation up first. i hope all goes well for you. i know he was super nervous to bring it up to his wife. (at the time) the way he went about it was just simply asking if he could talk to her away from the kids, she agreed & he just explained to her that he wasn’t happy in their relationship anymore and that he didn’t feel like it was only him. he also pointed out the fact that they both deserve to be happy in life and that he still wants to be apart of his kids life. mind you he couldn’t even say all this without crying. he said that she actually didn’t cry once nor tried to fix anything they had and just accepted it. like i said, it sounds like a bit similar to your situation and the clock is ticking on who says it first … after the talk happened they are both seriously so happy in life right now. i really wish the best for you and trust me i know it isn’t easy. i wish you had a friend to talk to but maybe go for a drive alone and call your mom or if you have a sister and ask for advice from them and explain to them your situation. this is the time to reach out to someone you have a strong connection with and who you can talk to. bests of luck
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I’d cut the PlayStation cords and tell him where to go 
divorce papers would be sitting with a broken game box
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I can totally relate hun but you might stay because you feel you will one day meet that same man you fell in love with at 16 and truth be told sometimes they just never change.
When a man cheats he doesn’t expect you to be destroyed but to understand but if a woman cheats then they are destroyed and most scenarios don’t forgive and to me he is not over the infidelities and he feels he is punishing you somewhat for what you did and also himself for what he did to you…
I hope you find your happiness soon
You’re done. Kids suffer when parents don’t like each other and yours already have been through many years of it - if not for yourself, end it for them 
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When your children can see it’s time, its time.
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You get one life to live, don’t look back when you are at the end of your road and regret not living it. Your life sounds miserable right now, do what’s going to make you happy. If that’s leaving him, then by all means, leave!
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Wanting basic couple interaction is not being needy, and if your “husband” isn’t willing to be a decent partner, there are men out there who would. I know from experience from a very similar situation.
Leave him, and love yourself and your kids enough to take care of yourself without letting him treat you that way
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It’s time to walk away… he’s toxic as hell😔
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I have no experience with this kind of stuff, but I can tell you that if anyone ever treated me the same way your husband treats you and i was dating the individual, I’d be gone. I don’t deserve that from anyone and neither do you
You should take your children and go. It’ll be okay. It always works out in the end. Best of luck to you. 
You ask “when do you know?”…but I think your heart already does.
Best of luck, life is too short to remain in an unhappy relationship.
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It’s time to leave. File for divorce. Your kids know it’s time for this “relationship” to be over don’t make them suffer any more. You don’t need the constant criticism or the verbal/mental abuse. He is not going to forgive you for past transgressions, you have given and forgiven enough, it’s now time to realize the time has co.e to move on and create a happy home environment for you and your kids. A toxic relationship isn’t good for anyone, especially for your kids. You are showing them it is ok to stay in kind of relationship when they need to see you happy, even if that means you are single. If necessary, move back to where you have family and rebuild those relationships and friendships. You have been isolated for long enough.
So you are both toxic to each other? Why would you want to stay with someone who you admit is verbally and emotionally abusive? You are teaching your children how to treat and be treated by their future partners. Get out now and get some therapy for both yourself and your children.
How do you know? With all the red flags and signs flying around in this post, you already know. You just need to take the steps to take care of you and your children. Don’t allow your children to see and hear this from either side. I’m not one to condone violence but I’d shove that PlayStation where the sun don’t shine and then hand him divorce papers.
You deserve better than this. 
Why would you waste one more day there why???
It’s definitely time for you to get out. It was time from the beginning when he was being abusive. I don’t believe you should ever stay for just the kids because then the kids grow up with that mindset too and grow up seeing all the awful things said and done and think it’s okay to have their relationships be like that. I’m sure if you needed to move in with family too they could help out and be there till you get you’re feet on the ground again.
Time to leave. Best of luck, you kids will be happier for it I’m sure.
It’s over. There is nothing there to hold on to anymore. The fact that you both have sought attention from multiple people speaks volumes. You need to leave. It isn’t going to get better. It sucks and it’s hard because that’s all you know, but it will be even worse if he leaves first (and you have to watch him be happy, loving, invested, and kind to someone else knowing that you could have found the same if you’d left sooner) or if you spend the rest of your life miserable.
Run girl! As fast and far as you can. Take it from someone who grew up in a home like your talking about just leave. Your doing more damage to your kids then anyone else.
The moment you thought of cheating (due to reasons you only know, or when the abuse started) was the moment you should’ve seeked a divorce lawyer.
Language alert - Get. The. Fuck. Out! Holy shit, girl. You have done your time, tried to make it work, and there IS NO effort on his part to even try? He’s gaslighting you, being emotionally abusive to you, AND the kids? Get your affairs in order, hire the lawyer, talk to your kids frankly. And leave with your HEAD UP! Sending strength.
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I think all the answers to this question you already know.
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All I can say is you both need Jesus in your life
You stay because you think your kids need you both together, not realizing they see you miserable no matter how well you think you hide it. As the kid who told her parents to get a divorce for YEARS before it finally happened my advice is this: quit faking it. It isn’t doing anyone any good… Be real. Be authentic. And for God sakes, make your standards higher, because you deserve to be treated BETTER than a f*cking Playstation. This will continue and get worse. Your kids will be happy if YOU are happy. Right now, they’re miserable too. They may not say it, but his behavior affects them negatively daily. Your job is to CHANGE. THE. CYCLE. They deserve better and so do you.
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It’s definitely time to go and get a divorce he doesn’t love you nobody deserves to be treated that way
You already know the answer hun. You deserve better. You only cheated because this person gave you what you needed emotionally. Leave as soon as you can.
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The moment your children said they want you to get a divorce was the moment is was done for good. Children should want their parents together, so if they are saying they don’t that is not a good environment for any of youto be in. It’s hard but you just have to take that big step and just go for it. File that divorce!
It’s time to leave. Both cheated and that is something very hard to come back from especially if one of you is always distant like he is. Your kids need you happy not together. You need to be happy at the end of the day. Happiness comes from.within, you can only be the best version of yourself when you are truly happy.
He sounds like an immature little boy. It’s pathetic if your kids are more grown than him. Run!!
Sounds to me like you answered your own questions. If your children are even saying get a divorce, that should ell you something. According to my calculations you are in your early 40’s. Kick him out, divorce him and get on with your life. You have a lot of years left. Why be miserable??
Damn! this sounds almost exactly what I’m going through. I feel you. 21 years together, never married, two kids under age of 10. It’s very hard. I don’t wish it on anyone. *hugs *
After ALL of this you are still questioning if you should be married to him??? Ummmm NO! Clearly you are not happy being his wife so find happiness in being his EX wife.
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It’s never too late to start a new chapter with only your kids and you. You are only hurting the kids when you stick around with someone who is like that and it can make them think that’s how their SO should treat them. You have to be the role model and show them that you will stand up for yourself and for a respect you know you deserve.
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You all are miserable so do what you have to do to be happy,life is too short to be this miserable. Everyone will adjust.
Leave. No one is happy so it does no good to stay. It is teaching your children about what they should tolerate.
You already know what you have to do. Unblock your family and friends and just go.
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No! Not a marriage. No love, no happiness. Time to go.
LEAVE. It’s hard but you will have peace. You do not need that toxic abusive relationship
33 years for me. I say the same damn thing.
You stay because believe it or not you are I’m an abusive relationship and it’s scary to leave. He is a narcissist… plain and simple. LEAVE! It won’t get any better.
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Its time to move his ass out, it can be scarey being on your own but you need to make that break. With every ounce of will power you have, for the sake of your children this needs to end xxx i did it, it was hard but for the past 4yrs myself and my daughter have never been happier xxx you can do this, be strong xxx
Because you don’t know how to love yourself. You need to fall in love with you and focas on what you need to be happy stop giving it all to an ungrateful adult child. You have a life to live. Go live it.
I would say if your games are so important than why don’t you marry them. You shouldn’t stay for the kids because apparently after your affairs came out your kids are miserable so why are you staying for the kids. They might heal if you all leave
Time to say goodbye to that life. Life is too short to be that miserable. Good luck.
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RUN! Not walk. Leave. Take your stuff, take your kids and go. Your kids are miserable, your miserable. This is no life. It sounds like your kids would rather live in a motel than with him. You deserve better. GET OUT
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Stay. Marriage promise is forever. You can work it out.
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I stayed with a man because of the kids. Until I noticed the kids were just as miserable. It sounds like you are in a very similar situation. And it’s time to call it quits. Good luck
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Said bye NOW! You are only letting your kids know that it’s ok to be treated that way. Run!!! Your kids will be extremely happy seeing you happy.
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He is trying to tell you it’s over…you just can’t hear the words… I know as I have been here myself…it’s time to leave this part if your life behind you and have the beautiful life you all deserve
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Oh honey life is way too short for what you are putting up with, as someone who was raised in a toxic home please listen to your heart you are not doing your children any favors. I am now 61 and my siblings and I are still dealing with issues that were caused by our parents not being happy . Give yourself permission to be happy and maybe just maybe your life will end up being better than you ever tjought possible
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Enough was a long time ago. Trust me, I’ve been there.
Look yourself in the mirror and say “ I can and I will and I am enough” and pack your and the kids bags, sister
Deep in your heart you already know the answer. You need to find the courage to be done. You only live once. Make it a life worth living. You both deserve peace and happiness.
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Please overcome your fear. That is what’s keeping you there imho.
Have faith in what comes after. It sounds horrendous, it has seriously got to be easier than what you are going through right now.
Stop blaming yourself. The past is exactly that, the past. 5th May is a very good day for manifesting change btw… 5th of the 5th and 2021 = 5 also so 555
You got this 
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You know it is time to leave
Go to church they can help you
When you get up in the morning look in the mirror and say I am going to be happy today
You well never be happy in a loveless relationship
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Neither of you are healed enough to save this relationship. Let’s be very very clear CHEATING is wrong! Especially when you can just be honest or leave but that isn’t the point, rather emotionally or physically…sharing or giving a part of yourself that is supposedly designated to another person IT WRONG AND THEE ULTIMATE BETRAYAL!! That being said after reading everything seems as if this was written from emotional space not necessarily being impartial or unbiased. Clear Communication and Comprehension are required to move forward
RUN! Don’t walk away from this horrid relationship you have. It’s not going anywhere and it’s very obvious he doesn’t want it to.
You want to live the rest of your life like this??? No way!!! Life is wayyyyy to short.
Get out and enjoy life, you won’t regret it.
Time to leave. Sorry you and your kids have to go thru this. You know what’s best for y’all. Best of luck.
You to leave I know it’s hard to leave and start over but life is too short not too be happy I have been there anytime you need someone to talk to I’m here May God give you the strength you need to do what you need for you
Your story isn’t life! I was married 33 yrs but my ex was time spent at work that’s all he wanted. Never home never w kids, I left I moved in happier now. Took the final break down to do it. Now is the time you say by. My ex wish now he’d done things different…so Have faith have courage if you need a friend I’m here. I don’t have lots friends either. You got this! You can do it call it quits he’ll regret it later.
Your kids are learning from you. They will think that is how it is. Show them you are strong and have self respect. Your kids deserve to see happy.
oh my! I am so sorry. Are you associated with any church? Go to church, ask him to join you and go together. If he he refuses, leave now and get counseling. Ask him to get counseling, if he doesn’t… leave permanently. Jesus can change anybody’s heart and everything… let Jesus work His miraculous works!
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Divorce and collect that alimony
When you ask that question
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Divorce his ass. You shouldve when the cheating happened.
It’s easy to say leave. It’s hard to actually do it when you are the one in that situation. Only you can decide when you are ready. My heart aches for you. 
So he COULDNT have sex. Not that he WOULDNT have. He was going to… until he couldn’t. Makes ZERO difference. He had the intention of sleeping with someone else. Nah… his cheating happened first (not saying that affects anything, but it was at the beginning of the marriage so we all see how he felt from the beginning). You deserve better than that!
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Get out now. He has lost allrespect for you and you him. It just gonna get worse. You can make new friends
Leave lovely, you are worth more that this jackass … you only live once, don’t like in regret or sadness… there is someone waiting to make you happy 
Get out fast life to short
Don’t stay for the kids. They will forever have to try to mend as adults for the example you as adults are setting. This will cause you to be bitter, hateful and discontent. Life is short the kids are damaged enough. Get out. Find self love and move on. Self love first and build a healthy relationship with the kids. Then later down the road maybe find someone else who knows self love and build a strong empire. The most important factor in this is the kids period. Please for these love beauty and sake of those beings… get out. No matter their age. Good luck to you. also, heads up. He wants you to leave so you can be to blame. Oh well. Once you heal you will realize that’s not the case. Hugs
Sounds like you’re well past enough.
If he can’t find it in him to be kind or talk to you, leave. Especially if your kids feel likewise.
You need to run to the nearest attorney. You are living w Jeckyl & Hyde. He’s still being verbally & emotional abusive. He shows you everyday who he is. You’ve turned the other cheek for 27 yrs thinking this isn’t who he is. Get yourself & the 2 kids that live at home in counseling. Get your things in order. He’s probably going to get worse during the divorce process. Good luck & I pray that he doesn’t snap
You’re still there? Leave him he’s nothing but an overgrown kid.
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I say now yalls at that point where you sign the papers and go. Run hunny run run run. Im sorry but hes a bitch. Not you.
That doesn’t sound like a marriage…so why stay??
Get the he’ll out of that shit Fuck that asshole
Get out. Get out now.
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It’s time for you guys to be healthy and be your best selves! Imo it doesn’t sound like that’s the case. And you might be hurting your kids more than helping them. It could really affect their future relationships too.
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This sounds miserable. You both are very unhappy and the kids see that. So you’re not doing them ANY favors staying in this loveless, unhappy marriage.
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Men rarely forgive women for cheating. They will make you pay which is what you are doing now. Get out. The toxic environment will only get worse and it seems as if it has consumed you both. Before it begins to affect your mental health and destroy your self-esteem, take your lovely babies who bring you so much joy and be free. You will feel so relieved and your kids will be happier because mummy is happier.
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Be strong for yourself and your children and leave him! He will never change if his heart is not open to change. There is no way for you to make him change just by staying or pointing out what he should do. If he has not turned his life style around over these many years, he is just going to drain the life from you. You are a good mama that deserves to pursue your own life and find happiness elsewhere.
You have shown emotional wherewithal being an involved parent for your children, and shown remorse for your past actions. You have more emotional and mental growth and maturity than him. Loyalty means nothing if you are not on the same wave length. Cut ties with your husband. While in this toxic relationship, you are also modeling to your kids that it is ok to be with someone who does not treat you respectfully or care about your mental well-being, and well as care for his own children’s well being.
Glad I never married my ex because he had a gaming addiction thing going on, and prioritized his hobby over paying his bills or cleaning up his own living space when he had time off. There were other reasons for me leaving my ex. And the stress of it all made me physically ill, to the point where I broke out in hives and was going into die from my throat closing up. I was hospitalized several times in a week, when I had no prior health history of anything bad happening before. Stress and People-toxicity are killers. Leave now. It will take time, but you will eventually heal, and the kids will be better off in a happier environment also. Your energy is better spent elsewhere and on yourself than someone who does not reciprocate it. Sending prayers for you
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Yeah. Why do you stay?Are you financially dependent on him?
There are agencies and support groups to get you out so you can live a normal life.
You’ve been married 27 years. That’s enough time for half or more of the assets to you. Your children will be happier too.
Trust me on all this. Been there done it. Living my best life for over 15 years.
The first couple of years were a bit squeaky financially. But the rewards in self esteem, my children’s happiness. New friends. Support from old friends. SO WORTH IT.
Run lady and be free.
He has a gaming addition and perhaps some mental illness. Run fast.
Please get out before it gets worse. He will break you down mentally and emotionally until you have no self worth. This is not healthy for you or the children. They will end up being in toxic relationships and you don’t want them to follow these patterns. I pray you find your peace.
U don’t have to stay are u working find a place or go home to family for a short time to get on your feet kids would be better off than hearing that fussing all the time if u can’t both forgive and forget move on life is to short
Your kids along with yourself will be much happier if you end the marriage. Get out before he puts his hands on you.