How Do You Safely Co-Sleep with a Toddler and an Infant?

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QUESTION:

"I’m just curious, if you co-sleep, how you sleep with a toddler and a newborn in bed with you.

My little one will be just turning 2 when the new baby arrives. Did you just transfer the older one to their own bed or keep them in bed with you & put the baby in their own bed?

**I don’t need to hear what you think of co-sleeping; we follow all of the safe seven rules."

RELATED QUESTION: My boyfriend finds it disturbing that my 6-year-old son still co-sleeps with me: Thoughts?

TOP ANSWERS (AS SELECTED BY MODERATOR):

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“I did. had a mesh bed rail on both sides of the bed. I slept in the middle and each babe laid on the other sides of me. Now the baby did sleep in her crib for the first 6 hours of the night just wouldn’t go back after the first feed… but I was a single mom so it was just me and them then.”

“My 2 year old stayed in bed with me, the baby who is now 6 months is in his own bed. Works a lot better that way. Sometimes he sleeps with us but usually not till about 5-6 am when he’s up to eat and it’s only about 2 hours. I figured that with a newborn she’d get a little less mommy on one time so I decided she gets to keep bedtime with me.”

“My toddler now 4 has been in my bed since day one. My daughter now 10.5 months has been in her bed since day one. It makes it sooooo much easier that she can fall asleep on her own giving me more time with my toddler one-on-one.”

“I’ve never had our children co-sleep with us. We had a bassinet in our room each time until the girls were 4 months that they slept in. After 4 months they slept in their own room in their crib.”

“We converted my toddlers mini crib into a sidecar and it’s been working amazingly! Look up ‘sidecar DIY’ on YouTube!”

“I made a big deal about my son going into his bed so HIS new baby could be safe. The key was making the baby part of him, not just my new baby. It gave him a sense of ownership, and he moved with no issues. I always referred to the baby as his. (Can you get your baby a diaper, your baby is tired and needs some sleep, etc.) Not sure if it always works, but there was never really any sibling rivalry. If that doesn’t work, there are all sorts of bassinets that can come right up to the bed.”

“My toddler climbs into my bed in the early mornings which is about the same time I will keep my infant in bed with me… my toddler sleeps on one side of me and my infant on the other… I’m a very light sleeper (if I even go back to sleep). My husband always gets after me for having them in our bed but it won’t last forever and you gotta cherish the moments they still want your affection.”

“My oldest moved to a big boy bed before the baby came. We made a big deal about him getting a big boy bed and it was very exciting, not that the transition was easy. Good luck momma.”

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READ ALL ANSWERS BELOW:

42 Likes
2

For my sanity and our relationship (my husband and mine) I do not co sleep. We have the crib in our room til the kids are 1 then they go to their own room. Idk how people sleep with kids lol

3

The newborn would be in the bassinet, until they got too big for it. You can put a toddler bed close to your bed and get your 2 year old get used to it little by little.

2 Likes
4

I would start now teaching the toddler to sleep in their own bed. May b easier if that bed is in ur room to start. It may not b the easiest thing to do but i would recommend starting soon and sticking with it. If u r serious about the co sleeping with the newborn then thats what i would suggest

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5

Absolute nonsense children should be in their own beds babies should be in a basket then a cot

5 Likes
6

We put toddler in same room as us and newborn in bassinet right next to mom, of dad was in bed too(hard sleeper) but if it was just me and baby then baby would be with me in bed.

7

It depends on if your toddler is comfortable in their own bed if not then put them on each side of you so there’s no chance of the toddler rolling over on the baby.

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8

I’d be getting toddler comfortable in their own bed way before baby comes, that way you don’t have both in bed. Toddlers move all over all night generally

9

They say it’s not a good idea to start letting your children sleep with u if your infant doesnt want to sleep in the crib just make sure the baby is swaddled comfortably they get used to it over time, thenother children should know respect that.you have your bed they have theirs. Be consistent good luck

10

My grandson had never slept in his own bed… He’s almost 6 …an now the fight is on to get him in his bed… SMH

11

Start transitioning your toddler into a big boy/girl bed but put it in your room near your bed to begin with. Do it Slowly, don’t force or punish him/her into it. My son was 3 when I had my youngest daughter and he slept with us. Both of them were breastfed :breast_feeding: (him until 2) and it was easier to co sleep esp with my daughter after a horrible emergency c section. To this day (now 5 & almost 3) they will sneak into our bed at 3am and sleep with us :joy: we don’t mind. Heck even my 13yo daughter will come sleep on my floor when the weather is bad :joy::joy:

12

So many stories about parents rolling over in their sleep and accidentally suffocating their baby. Please do not sleep with your children in your bed with you. They are safer in their own beds. You can put their beds in your room near yours at first. Get them used to having their own room.

2 Likes
13

I didn’t have any of my kids sleep with me, start as you mean to go on, problems start when they get older, I have have had friends who let their kids sleep with them and it’s a total nightmare getting them out of that habit.

14

I have 3, I know how much easier it seems to cosleep. That being said, there are so many families out there who face tragedy, just because they didn’t realize the baby was in the wrong spot one time. Plus, it is an essential part of development to provide your toddler the security that they can individuate and sleep solo. Even if YOU follow all the rules, can you guarantee your toddler will? It sounds like its time for a cool toddler bed and a bassinet.

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15

The beyond sleep training group is really helpful. They have a lot of info on safely co-sleeping

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16

Never sleep with an infant!

17

I put one on each side of me, for my youngest I bought a infant divider which keeps you from rolling over on them and my oldest which was 3 went to sleep with her hand laying on my hair .lol hubby worked nights and I see no problem co sleeping with your babies beside you.

18

Newborn in bassinet right next to the bed.

19

No toddlers need to learn to sleep in there own room . Mums and dads bed is mum and dads time . Newborn in a bassnet with only them in a wrap and a blanket just under their shoulders to avoid SID your and your kids sleep come first. Also don’t feel bad if you feel like your being selfish its ok to get some you time in so you can be a better, refreshed version of you to give , a happy mum and dad means a happier life( 75% of the time ) :blush::wink:

20

I love just fucking love sleeping with my kids its so peaceful relaxing loving …but defs important for them to learn to sleep in their own beds too wouldnt have my bubba and toddler together how does mumma get a good nights sleep :heart: good luck

21

Well if you don’t want oppions then you will figure it out

22

I would move the 2yr old gradually.otherwise he may resent your new baby if done as soon as baby’s born.this worked for all six of mine.as long as you’re careful carry on co-sleeping.

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23

I had to explain to my toddler the baby was taking its place and there wasn’t enough room for him. He took it well. Let’s just hope my daughter does too. :grimacing:

24

I did. had a mesh bed rail on both sides of the bed. I slept in the middle and each babe laid on the other sides of me… now the baby did sleep in her crib for the first 6 hours of the night just wouldn’t go back after the first feed… but I was a single mom so it was just me and them then.

3 Likes
25

My 2 year old stayed in bed with me, the baby whose now 6 months is in his own bed. Works alot better that way. Sometimes he sleeps with us but usually not till about 5-6am when he’s up to eat and its only about 2 hours. I figured that with a newborn she’d get a little less mommy one on one time so I decided she gets to keep bedtime with me.

3 Likes
26

My 3yo was on one side while my newborn was on the other side

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27

Get a pack and play that can go right next to the bed. I put the toddler in there because they are less likely to do anything on accident. My kids were all over the place when they slept. I now need to get my 2 yr old out of our bed, sucks cause he sleeps better in our bed vs anything else

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28

I’ve never heard of the safe seven rules and co slept with all my kids. Sos much easier when nursing and they sleep longer.

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29

What are the safe rules. I never heard of this

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30

Maybe a toddler bed next to your bed? And for baby I made a barrier in my bed to make sure she was safe.

31

Put a bassinet in the middle of bed

Put crib next to side of bed

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32

My daughter was born when my son was 1.5 years old and I just let him keep coming into my bed and had my daughters crib right next to my bed

33

I have a 5 year old 4 year old and 1 year old. The 5 and 4 year olds have always slept in my bed. But I have a king size so there is plenty of room.

34

Toddler slept by daddy and I kept newborn next to me

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35

We have my husband and daughter at the end of the bed on one side and me and baby (one year old) at the top in the other side cause I still breastfeed. It works for us and makes enough room for everyone lol

36

I transitioned my toddler to her own bed and when my son was born he either slept in his bassinet or we co slept

37

You can use a co-sleeper in the bed with you. It puts a hard barrier between the toddler and the baby. I had an infant and an 8 yr old sneaking into my bed at night so this was my solution! Worked great! Or you can get a pack n play/toddler bed to put next to your bed if you’re ready to start the transition to the toddler being in their own bed and room.

38

I don’t know, it just works itself out after a few days​:rofl::rofl:Like all parenting crap🤷

3 Likes
39

You can sidecar a crib or toddler bed for the toddler to sleep in, with you inbetween the baby and toddler. If your spouse sleeps with you as well, you can put the toddler between you two with the baby on the outside.

40

I still nursed my 1st when my 2nd was born so they both slept with us. I just had one on each side of me. You just gotta find something that works for you. Everyone (and kid) is different.

2 Likes
41

I have been getting great advice from the group Biologically Normal Infant & Toddler Sleep

So many mama’s in that group could sleep with a toddler and infant. They gave me so much advice that I can’t even fathom putting into one response. So I would definitely join the group and ask in there.

42

I never slept with my son as a new born. I messed up! I let him sleep with us a few times around 3 or so. He is now 7 (in Dec) am just now getting him in his own bed. But you do what you think is best. Good luck mama.

43

You have to have a lot of conversations with your 2 year old in the last few weeks preparing them to be the big brother/sister. Moving to a toddler bed, giving up their space in bed, basically letting them know while having these conversations that they’re getting bigger and they’re going to have a new job as the big sibling.

44

I had his bed at side of ours and baby in moses basket all in same room

45

The “safe 7” aren’t safe. Bedsharing is not safe with an infant.

2 Likes
46

I’ve never had our children co sleep with us. We had a bassinet in our room each time until the girls were 4 months that they slept in. After 4 months they slept in there own room in there crib.

1 Like
47

I slept with my baby’s in bed with me but the say a parent can roll over on them so there is caution it can happen

48

lol my thoughts if you co sleep how can #2 arrive if baby is in bed. I never co slept even with having c section. read too many horror stories.

49

I don’t cosleep other than when they’re sick after a year and a half old… I always just had a bassinet next to my bed for all 4 of them

50

Baby in their own bed!!!

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51

Your infant and toddler should be in their own beds from DAY ONE … baby in bassinet/ crib and toddler in a toddler bed.

52

When my 2nd was born i told my 1st to sleep on my legs. Im a very light sleeper. So it didn’t bother me. Now they both started sleeping in their own room last year (6 and 4) and i co sleep with my 3rd (6th mo) and slowly trying to transition to his bed too.

53

We converted my toddlers mini crib into a sidecar and it’s been working amazing! Look up “sidecar diy” on YouTube!

2 Likes
54

My toddler climbs into my bed in the early mornings which is about the same time I will keep my infant in bed with me… my toddler sleeps on one side of me and my infant on the other… I’m a very light sleeper (if I even go back to sleep). My husband always gets after me for having them in our bed but it won’t last forever and you gotta cherish the moments they still want your affection :heavy_heart_exclamation:

55

Whatever rules you follow, it’s not anyone’s business but yours. No one should be shaming you at all or trying to give you their personal opinion, especially when you say you don’t want it

5 Likes
56

You don’t sleep you just hover still like a statue in the same position

57

I made a big deal about my son going into his bed so HIS new baby could be safe.

The key was making the baby part of him, not just my new baby. It gave him a sense of ownership, and he moved with no issues.
I always referred to the baby as his. (Can you get your baby a diaper, your baby is tired and needs some sleep, etc)
Not sure if it always works, but there was never really any sibling rivalry.

If that doesn’t work, there are all sorts of bassinets that can come right up to the bed. :slight_smile:

1 Like
58

I have 6 kid’s and the first 5 all slept in the bed with me " a couple for health reasons". My last child I wanted to try putting her in her own bed from the beginning and it was amazing. I didn’t let anyone try to be quiet, always had a tv or music going so she was used to noise. She slept so good and is such her own little person because of it. Best decision I ever made.

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59

Do what you think is best momma but I my 2 year old and 2 month old both sleep in bed with me we have a king size me and husband sleep with just our feet touching my son will sleep on one side of me and my daughter on the other her bassinet is beside our bed but she has trouble staying asleep so she sleeps on the left side son on the right I tell him he can’t lay next to sissy but he can sleep on the other side of mommy

60

Here are pictures of toddler bed next to your bed and the infant bed on your side this way everyone has bed without dangers

61

Listen dear, don’t ask for advice on co-sleeping because you’re gonna get these know it all perfect make no mistakes mamas who are gonna shame you. Ask friends/relatives. You’ll figure it out. Your oldest is still alive at 2, right? You’ll get it figured out. Good luck.

2 Likes
62

And y’all in the comments, she wasn’t asking whether you think cosleeping is dangerous or not so keep your rude comments to yourself. :tipping_hand_woman:t2:

63

Just do what feels right for you and your babies. MOM knows best

64

My oldest moved to a big boy bed before baby came. We made a big deal about him getting a big boy bed and it was very exciting, not that the transition was easy. Good luck momma.

65

I cosleep with my 21 month old and almost 3 month old. I typically sleep between the two of them.

66

My daughter stayed sleeping with me and my son went into a bassinet next to us

67

I got my 2 year old to sleep in her toddler bed when I was 8 months pregnant. Mainly because she kept kicking me in the stomach all night lol. It took a few nights but she was fine. Then when baby #2 came i had a cradle next to my bed. But still plenty of nights I would wake up to both of them cuddled next to me. Nothing sweeter…

3 Likes
68

I co slept with all my kids my youngest and middle child always slept on either side of me while my eldest slept beside my middle child or else on the opposite side of her daddy

69

My toddler now 4 has been in my bed since day one. My daughter now 10.5 months has been in her bed since day one. It makes it sooooo much easier that she can fall asleep on her own giving me more time with my toddler one on one.

2 Likes
70

Daddy cuddled toddler and I had the baby if/when he was on the same side as the toddler i made sure to put my arm above his head on the bed and the at an angle towards the toddler to make sure we kept her from rolling over. It didn’t work till we got a king size bed though.

71

This just happened for me my daughter just turned two and I have a newborn I put my daughter on the inside as close to walla as possible so I’m able to rotate back and forth feeding the baby

72

Honestly my daughter used to cuddle at my butt or head on my tummy and my infant son in my arms

73

I feel like a cosleeper next to bed would be best. Give the toddler her own space to move around but still be in bed with you

74

You don’t. So very dangerous!

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75

I had to move my 3 year old to his own bed… baby woke in the middle of the night and woke him up too… totally threw off his routine… it felt horrible… still does but I couldn’t sleep with them both x

76

I have 5 kids , I
do have another baby so 6. She passed away,and from day 1, I always put them in their own bed next to my bed. So its kind of like Co sleeping but their not in my bed. & I always had the radio on or sleep machine on. I never had it quiet. That way they were used to noise an could sleep through a tornado.
Mom will sleep better 2 if baby is in their own bed.

77

I slept with all 3 of my girls. I would transfer the older one to their own bed when the new one would come. I had 3 csections and it was too difficult for me to get in and out of bed every time they cried.

8 Likes
78

We have tried to get our 3 y/o to sleep in his own bed but he has night terrors a lot so he always ends up in our bed. Before the second baby he slept between my husband and me in our king sized bed. After the baby was born I started him in a Halo bassinet right beside my bed. After he outgrew that at 4.5 months we tried to transition to a crib but he woke frequently. One night when our 3 y/o wasn’t with us my husband put him in bed with us and he slept great. We ended up putting the bed against the wall and stuffed pillows in the crack. Toddler sleeps against the wall, then me then baby and my husband. I think the baby gets the most space because we are careful to have no pillows around him or to sleep too close against him. But I can still cuddle either child if they cry.

79

At first I put a toddler bed in our room and tried to get our 2 yr old to sleep in it, which he did and was excited about it. A couple months later our second was born and I put him in a cosleeper in the middle of our bed. That sparked my 2 yr old to want to return to our bed. I had to get rid of the cosleeper and I slept between the two boys. We did this for years until we moved them both into their own room. I felt bad and didn’t want to kick my older out or him feel like we pushed him out. Moving them together into their own room made me feel better. Good luck!

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80

Toddler on one side, newborn in a bassinet on the other. My 2 year old is a very clingy sleeper so we weren’t able to break his cosleeping habit yet but now my new baby is 4 months and sleep pretty well on his own next to me. Yes I’ve had nights where they both slept next to me but I didn’t sleep much since I worried all night. I wouldn’t recommend having them both sleep with you atleast not till baby is much bigger

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81

I think if the older one sleeps through the night already you should move them to their own bed when the baby comes because the toddled might get cranky having their sleep cycle disturbed.

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82

I wouldn’t co-sleep with a young infant, yeah you say you follow all the ‘rules’ but it is still extremely dangerous… especially if a toddler is going to be in the same bed. I’d wait until baby is a little older. I co-sleep with my toddler so I’m not against co-sleeping, just against co-sleeping with such a young infant.

19 Likes
83

I never did, they always slept in a bassinet next to my bed then a crib, untill they got about 3/4 then we would just take naps, but bedtime they was always in there own beds, if they climbed into mine if i woke up, i brought them back to there own bed.

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84

Well for us we transitioned to her room when my belly got too big. It helped for when the baby arrived! Same with the second. I have no clue how I’ll ever get this third one out. :rofl::joy::rofl:

85

Did co sleeping, middle slept in bed with us, then we slowly put her in a toddler bed at the foot of our bed before sister came. Now my girls are well developed and healthy young women and we have an amazing mom daughter bond. Oldest moved out and will be 19 soon. :heart:

86

I would work on moving the toddler out before the baby arrives or have dad move in with the toddler. You’re going to be exhausted, two little ones in the bed won’t help on that one. If that’s not possible maybe a pack and play next to your bed for the baby.

4 Likes
87

We moved our oldest to her own room during my pregnancy. When the second was born he would only sleep in his own bed. But when they both woke up around 5 or 6am they’d both stay in bed with me til we woke up for the day.

88

I slept in the middle with one on each side of me. My girls were just under 2 years apart. When their brother came along (when my middle one was almost 4) they slept on one side of the bed with me in between them and their brother or they slept in their room. I breastfed & had to have c-sections so co-sleeping was much easier for us.

2 Likes
89

I have co slept with all 4 of my kids. Currently co sleeping with our 8 month and 4 yr old. We have a king bed and its hard sometimes lol. But we make it happen 4yr us a wild sleeper so she sleeps closer to dad and baby and i on the other side. There has been plenty of nights he slept on my arm or I’d cradle him close or tbh we feel asleep nursing. I personally think you just have to give a try and find what works. It took us some time and now 4ro and dad sleep at the foot of the bed lol

90

I know someone who slept with their infant. They lost the baby to SIDS I would suggest a bassinet for the infant. Don’t risk losing your child.

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91

With all 3 of my girls they slept in their own crib by the time they could sleep through the night. They were only 3-4 months. Once they stopped breastfeeding I moved them to their own room

92

Baby in your arms on your side and toddler lay up against your back. Done this with 4 kids. Love co-sleeping with my babies.

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93

My newborn is in a bassinet right next to me. Whichever toddler ends up in my bed is on the other side.

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94

My DOCTOR told me co sleeping is natural…and that we are the only country to look down at it…I had both my kids in with me until they showed they were ready for their own bed. It has nothing to do with being over protective…it’s about the child feeling safe…and if with you they feel safer then that’s fine…we just a bigger bed and put them in between us… my kids are now 13 and 15 and we have an amazing relationship

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95

I put a guard rail up on my side of the bed when my second came along. I had one on each side of me. My oldest was 2 1/2 at the time, then my middle one was 3 when my youngest was born. I never had an issue with rolling or anything like that. Co sleeping worked perfectly for me. Best of luck to you! Trust your instincts :heart:

96

I had a baby bassinet next to me in bed. There are great “safe” one now. When they got “to big” for it I had a small crib next to my bed. Once they were about 3 they co-slept. All my kids have their own rooms, but as a single mom I wanted them (and they wanted) to be close. My girls are older now and sleep in there own rooms.

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97

We made each of them sleep on the opposite side of us. I always slept with the baby in my arms b/c the smallest thing would wake me up. Granted the only way she liked to sleep was all the no no ways. & plus she had a ruff start in the beginning between a NICU stay & a surgery so being next to us seemed to be her comfort thing and she slept better. I’ve seen lil crib like beds you can attach to the side of your beds now. . Maybe that would be something to look into . No judgement here, do what’s good for you & they won’t want to sleep with you forever. Every kid has their own needs.

98

I wouldn’t cosleep with a newborn…too risky. Heard of way too many accidents. Have you looked into one of those co sleeper bassinet to go right beside the bed? That’s what I did. You’ll sleep easier without having a fear of something happening

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99

Move the toddler before the baby comes. Make it a big kid thing. Otherwise there could be some jealousy. And definitely don’t want baby waking the toddler all night. The last thing you’ll want is 2 screaming babies in the night. Make it a fun thing. And occasional nights in mom and dad’s bed will be fine. Good luck!

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100

My oldest was 2 and she slept in my bed against wall while baby slept in bassinet next to bed on other side… I loved co sleeping because they dont stay babys forever and soon enough before you can see it coming sleeping with mommy is not “cool”