How should I respond to this?

Why would you move in with someone after 8months?

Did you do this in person or by txt?

I’d take that as my queue to move on. My child and I are a package deal, and I would have talked about that from the beginning so I wasnt wasting my time.

8 months is nothing. It’s not enough time to know someone enough to live with them with your child that’s not theirs and maybe he just isn’t ready for that big of a step?? Jeez.

Maybe I’m a prude but my first question is why would you want to move your child into a place with someone you’ve only known or dated for just 8 months? There are many more questions but that’s the most important…and you too, what’s the rush?

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Que tu hijo está demás así que huye lo más pronto

8 months in my honest opinion is not long enough to know whether you want to live together… give it at least a year. It doesn’t necessarily mean he doesn’t want you or the child, plus it gives you more time to save up for a house

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Renew your lease or find another place for you n kido … hopefully you can renew lease so you don’t have to rip your son from his friends n school … the big kid cans fend for himself but the little one can’t … make you choices for you n your son as long term as always … when he wants long term he can give you a ring n come aboard …. The ring is teaching your son to have some respect for women these days … pluse he needs to ask your son for approval when n if it happens too … good luck !!!

Girl it’s only been 8 months :woozy_face::woozy_face: he don’t wanna be a full time daddy yet and he has every right to feel like that

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It’s 8 months with a child, I think too early to move in together, adults can adapt to losing a house/friends children need stability.

I wouldn’t want to live with a man after 8 months, idc how good the relationship is. This is your first warning from him, take heed.

Renew your lease,then think about your relationship ,him your child

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Ummm I would be pissed off, so he’s basically saying I want you but not your kid, find your own place and dump his A$$

Some people aren’t ready to handle other people’s kids and some parents aren’t ready to hear that. Tough shit lol.

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I’d take that as my queue to move on. My child and I are a package deal, and I would have talked about that from the beginning so I wasnt wasting my time.

8 months isnt anything. leave. He doesn’t want your son. NOT A “man” you need nor does ur child need him

8 months isn’t a long time. You need realistic timeline expectations.

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Move on with your life Sis, your child always comes first. That is NOT a man you want forever with.

Maybe you should ask him about it rather than asking a bunch of people that know nothing about him or you :thinking:

Dont ask it should be given

You… But not the child…

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Hit the road Jack!!!

Fuck him kid comes first. Lol

Lol at the women saying red flag, drop him, move on…

8 Month relationship, 5 months with the child… You know nothing of the context, tone of conversation, or his actual reply.

I have dated single mothers before, and I am always scared of being brought into that child’s life too quickly or in a fatherly capacity in a short amount of time. It can be confusing and damaging to the child if we were to break up.

5 months is not a long time, and the man can still be trying to find his stride in the relationship.

If everything else is good in the relationship, rushing into cohabitation can be a recipe for disaster that has the potential to really damage the kid.

Get your own place, and move at a slower pace. Be open with what you want, and say at the end of this 12 month lease I would like to live with you and us to be more of a family.

Gives him a year to sort his shit out. If he changes and starts being distant, then you have your answer. And a place to live without uprooting your kid because you rushed into something you cannot get out of easily.

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I don’t think this is a red flag what so ever he’s actually considering your child. Its been 8 months that’s nothing and he’s only known the child 5 months tbh I wouldn’t want him moving in yet anyways and being around me child 24/7 considering you really don’t know him especially not in 8 months. Go find your own place and keep seeing each other

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I mean hell maybe it’s the way she parents her child and he’s politely keeping his mouth shut. Who really knows. 8 months doesn’t equal a lifetime commitment.

5 month? Your child should only be slowly starting to get to know this guy at this stage.never mind moving house together. Far too soon. Even without the child it’s way way to soon. Be careful. Stick to your own place for now. Wait a year or 2 at least

The min he moves in with use,he takes the roll as head of house an he has then builds a bond with Ur child more then he already has. He may not be ready for that. Hell I have 5 kid’s 3 with my partner but we don’t live together, even after 6 yrs. Because I don’t want things to change xx

Shoot I lived with my sons father and his 5 year old for a year. It was too much for just a bf/ gf scenario for me and I needed to step back because dad was getting to lax. Now we have separate places and still working on our relationship

I’d take it as his honesty and find a place for me and my child. If he’s good to you and your soon currently he really isnt obligated to take on more.

Chill.

Moving in
Means taking on a step dad role

That’s huge

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Sign your OWN lease again, never “expect” to move in with a man when you have a child/children because then that’s HIS place and he can put you and YOUR child/children out at any point. If it’s yours you can put him out if anything was to ever happen. It doesn’t matter how loving, caring, kind, etc…your s/o is, always look out for #1 & #2 (1 your children and 2 yourself). Now if you move into a completely different home together you be the applicant on the lease and s/o the co-applicant.

The best thing you can do is something we all fail to do at times where we feel someone else’s words are confusing: COMMUNICATE. Ask him, in a polite and respectful way, why he feels this way and if he thinks it’s too soon, or if maybe dating a woman with a child is too much for him. Ask him what it is that he means. Nothing wrong with that. And if his answer is anything slightly wrong towards your child, LEAVE HIM ALONE. Plenty of fish in the sea. Plus, 8 months is a little soon, but everyone’s lives are different … But my best advice is, give it more time because your child is always going to be most important, a lot of the times we don’t know who a person truly is in less than a year: And your child’s well-being is way more important than your love life. All in all- make good choices for your baby, he comes first. :purple_heart:

I’d take it as, his choice is not to be a father.
Dont expect a man you met 8 months ago to pick up the tab of two…

You should just get your own place. Doesn’t matter what he says.

When you date someone with a kid it’s a package deal, him saying you’d already be living together if it weren’t for your child means he isn’t ready for the package

Ask the tough questions. Does he like kids? Obviously he’s been nice and not said anything as he already knows you have one so it may be a “him” thing.
Personally if I were him. I would have just said I’m not ready to live with a child.
Living with kids means giving up/ selling things and completely changing a house, his house at that.
If you are the type to say it’s my kid and me then I would suggest putting that at the front of most of your dating questions so as to save you this type of heartaches

I wouldn’t and ghost him

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Move on. He knew you had a child in the beginning. He’s in it for the benefits. You and your child are a package deal.

Time to move on!!! He obviously don’t want your child…don’t waste anymore time on this loser!!

He never wanted the child he seen a single mom and wanted bbn one thing only

Maybe he just means that his place isn’t big enough for a child.

It’s only been 8 months and you are trying to move in with a man You barely know with your child. Just no.

Some people don’t wanna be step parents or play daddy or even like kids …

Nope not a chance big red flag

You introduced your child after 3 months :thinking:

It’s not just you so back up. You moved too fast. Slow down, ease the dude out of your son’s life and keep him out until you’re married.

If u move in . He then has to pay 3xtra expenses by housing and feeding your child plus contributing more. He doesn’t want to do that. .
Can’t blame him for that.

:roll_eyes:it’s 8 months. Pump ya breaks sis :rofl::rofl:

Correct answer, and this is just ridiculous click ait.

:triangular_flag_on_post:kids are a package deal

It’s been 8 months, fair enough if he doesn’t want u & your child moving in. Find your own place, it’s way too soon. It doesn’t mean he doesn’t care about your child, he probably just doesn’t want to be an instant daddy just yet & that’s okay. It doesn’t mean the relationship isn’t going anywhere. He just still wants some space which is fine. I think it’s commendable that he was honest with you.

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Bye bye, my child and I are a package deal.

Id let the door slam him in the ass.

It’s hard to know if this exchange occurred over a text message. I’m making the assumption that it did, as there’s no other conversation. Here’s an idea; try talking to each other!

It’s only been 8 months. Sure, he may not want to live with your child OR he’s terrified that he won’t be able to live up to filling the role of dad.

If we could read mens minds, it would be a lot simpler, but until some genius invents how to do that, you need to communicate and work out what’s best for everyone!

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Resign your lease and you won’t have to move. Simple fix.

Moving in is a big commitment but even bigger with a child involved. It hasn’t been very long so I don’t think he’s wrong for how he feels.

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I had been with my fiance for almost 4yrs and we both have kids from previous marriages. We are not ready to live together just yet. We have tried it and it was not the best thing for our relationship at that time. But we are still together, still getting married (one day :wink:) and still place our future together. No need to rush things. Live separately and figure things out in time.

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You have your answer…

I would ask directly what he meant by that. Direct and to the point. But be prepared, because you may not like the answer. But if you never ask, you will never know.

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Is it possible it came out wrong?
I think when kids are involved it’s good to take it slow.
If he said it because he wouldn’t ever want to live with your child, show him the door.

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This Should have been one of your first questions and then you wouldn’t have wasted eight months of your life, This is red flag number one if he didn’t have any other ones and if your child safety is not a dealbreaker then you can continue the relationship but me as a mother this isn’t even yout baby daddy so I don’t think he’s worth it

I’m not sure why your on Facebook asking us you should know that answer BYE BYE BUDDY I would take that as he thinks your child is a burden period tell him to get down the ROAD

I would’ve asked him what that means

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Once he said if it was her by herself they would have been living together, so what are you suppose to send the child to live with someone else because he wants it to be just you and him. He wouldn’t have to worry about me or my child . Once he said that ok we don’t need to be together, have a good life my child stays with me,

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I don’t think that is a bad response. I think you should ask him to elaborate. Maybe he simply meant because of your child, he doesn’t want to rush into living together because if something happened he wouldn’t want to give the kiddo trauma. I wouldn’t assume it is because he has an issue with your kid especially whenever you said he is great with him.

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Living together is a huge step in any relationship. I don’t think you should be quick to judge on this being a negative…maybe he’s thinking about how much it can/will effect your child. My boyfriend and I have been dating for a year and still haven’t moved in together yet because we are worried how it will effect my children from my previous marriage. We probably won’t be moving in together for at least another year. There really is no right or wrong answer for when the right time is to move forward to the next step in a relationship. It’s really all about what suits you and your significant other best. Simply talk to him about it. If he truly cares for you and your son, he will make things work. Good luck, mama.

You’ve only been with him 8 months … You don’t know him well enough to move your child in with him … Get your own place for now … Ask this question after you’ve been together for 2yrs…

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Goodbye, farewell. Off you go asap.

He isnt ready for family…he needs to be single

8 months is not enough time to know someone. The relationship is still new, take it slow.

Moving in together is a big decision and not one to be made lightly. Think of your child and how it would change their daily life.

Kids always come first in any relationship scenario. If it was me I’d be more worried about my child than rushing into something life changing.

You don’t have to live together to be together. Give it time and see where it goes. Just because it’s perfect now, doesn’t mean it will be in 8 months, a year.

Revisit the idea of moving in together at a later date. To me I take that comment as he wants you without the “burden” of raising a child.

Take it from me if a potential “step parent” is already speaking in that manner, it will not be great for the kid. Just my opinion.

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We wouldn’t be together anymore. Sounds like he doesn’t really want to be around the kids. That’s a huge no go. :woman_shrugging:t3:

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leave…if he don’t accept ur child …there is nothing there for u

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Have him explaine to you what he meant by it. As some of the other responders have said, I wouldn’t move in with him yet. It’s too soon in my opinion. Moving in together could and usually does complicate things. Just take your time. Now, if he says because I’m not ready to help raise your kid, then I would definitely not waste my time. Y’all are a package deal. You have to always choose your child over a man in every situation. Good luck.

He is being honest with you. He is not ready to be a full time step parent.

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maybe get more clarification from him on why he feels that way… however the truth of it is he isnt ready to be a full time step parent.

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Depends on the person tbh. I can see why everyone is taking it the way they are but it also could mean he’s just nervous for the transition… 5 consistent months really isn’t that long when you think about it… maybe he didn’t mean it as he doesn’t want to live with your child, but maybe he’s just not ready. Children get attached easy and maybe he’s afraid he might too. You guys moving in together really seals the “we’re a family” deal and that can be scary…
it doesn’t mean what he said was bad, but only YOU know him so who is anyone to say what he meant? You could also just ask him. :woman_shrugging:t4:
My feelings would be hurt hearing that as well but not everyone uses the right words when it comes to being put on the spot about such drastic life changing decisions. Just ask. :yawning_face:

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It’s still a pretty new relationship, if it ends, you and your child would be in a bad spot. I wouldn’t get a place with a boyfriend of a few months… you guys can stay together whenever you want right now, I’d give it a year then revisit the idea.

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It might be he scared of being a full time daddy and he might love your child but again if it doesn’t work then he has to dill with u and the baby and kids get close easy my son single dad and his girlfriend broke it off my grandson cried for her every time he seen a car like hers or seen someone that look like her

Children do add a little more complication to relationships… just take it slow, roll with it all,and don’t force anything… gaining the trust of a child can be a monumental task also…

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I would ask what he meant by it. Maybe he just meant he wants to be careful and not rush it since there is a kid involved.

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Package deal. He don’t want the package, no deal. :woman_shrugging:t2:

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8 months, … that’s a little soon… my kids come first. No matter how long someone has been in their life. If you don’t want them around then you aren’t for me. Cut your losses and move on. It’s gonna hurt, the child will ask about them but it will get easier as time goes by

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Well…you could ask him for clarification and finish the conversation instead of asking us…just a thought

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Why are you even asking people’s opinion. He doesn’t accept your child, he should be with you. That should be a given. That man could resent your child even stat abusing him.

For someone without a child, moving in with one full time that soon into a relationship is scary. Definitely need to have an open honest discussion.

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I don’t think this is necessarily a “bad” response.

Having a kid changes things. Being involved with someone with kids changes things.

First. We’d all like to believe that men should step in and be involved with a woman with a child…any child. And that they should be ready to take the next step any time we as women say to.
But in all reality He has to get to know your child and build a relationship with your child, and you all have to establish the Dynamics there. It’s better to do so without the pressure of already living together…5 months isn’t that long. And he may not feel comfortable living with a child that he’s still getting to know. He may be waiting to see what your expectations of the situation will grow to be.

Second. Having a child in the mix of a relationship…means that the housing situation has to fit with having a child in the home. Some places aren’t great for that. One bedroom homes for example. Homes with roommates aren’t always ideal. Where there’s not enough room for a child to actually play.
Apartment complexes intended for college students/single people/young couples. Where noise is kept at odder hours that don’t fit with a child’s typical sleep schedule.
He’s single and therefore his living situation may very well not be good for a child.
It might be fine for the two of you, but not fine for you two and a child.

Ultimately these are both just guesses, but they’re the flip side to the whole “he wants to be single leave now” opinion.
You need to sit down and talk to him about what he meant. He’s the only one who really knows.
I’d recommend going into that conversation with an open mind rather than looking for a fight or trying planning your argument on why his reasoning doesn’t matter.

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8 months is entirely to soon. My son is 2.5 I won’t even date right now. My son comes first. But everyone’s different

Hes obviously nit ready to be a step parent. And thats okay. Move on. Prince charming is out their.

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Unless you are asking him that because he is constantly at ur place eating, sleeping , showering an stuff but when it comes time to pay for something or leaves when the rent is due because he “don’t live there” then u should just get ur own place. 8 months is nothing especially if you have a small child.

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I see it was realistic. There is a child involved and that changes every thing. If he seems a little cautious appreciate that because hes looking out for your child’s long term happiness and stability.

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Moving in with each other after 8 months is fast, especially with a child involved. His response could of been phrased better but he did the right thing.

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No man wants to take care of another mans kids.

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I’d ask what he meant. He could be referring to your child. Or he could be referring to how big of a place you would both need. Kids mean more bedrooms, which means higher rent. He could just be uncomfortable paying more right now.

Sorry darlin, tell him you and your little one are a package. Ask him what he means if he tells you the same thing tell him It’s not just you it won’t ever just be you, if he has a problem with it then cut your ties and walk away.

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How about “when you say XYZ, I hear XYZ. Is that your intention?” Ask questions. Don’t assume anything unless you’re directly told.

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Why do u wanna move in together after 8 months? And if u have to ask this questions u can answer yourself. Never skip red flags like that

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Take it as it was given: he does not want your child. Time to move on before your son becomes attached to him.

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He’s probably not ready to play daddy all the time as for clarification. 8nmonths is to soon. Ya’ll move to fast. Take it slow. When you have kids you should date someone for a few years before living together. Honey moon stage usually ends after 2 years for true colors to start coming out. He may be great now but later he could turn out worst to slow down.

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As a realistic response. There’s no way you or your children are quite ready yet to move in with a boyfriend.

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If you have to ask you have a problem