I take that as, he doesn’t want to move too fast because there’s a child involved…like looking out for the kids feelings and whatever.
6 Likes
It’s a big deal to move a child in with a man. He’s been in your child’s life for just 5 months. Sounds like a good, responsible man to me…
3 Likes
A lot of these replies are automatically jumping to a red flag. After 8 months, it’s easy to move in with your girlfriend because if things go south it’s just y’all, two adults. However, with a child attachments can be stronger and if things go south now it’s a child involved. He might have meant it the right way but said it wrong. You need to communicate and find out what his intentions were with his words. I say things sometimes & mean it a different way but it comes with off bad.
2 Likes
That maybe he’s not ready for having a child in his day-to-day life. But maybe that could change. It’s something you should discuss.
Please do not push your child on that man. He clearly doesnt want children and this is not fair to your son at all.
1 Like
8 months is very soon to move in together. He’s only been a part of your child’s life for 5 months. Slow down before you end up with 2 kids who don’t have active fathers in their lives.
5 Likes
Thank your lucky stars that he has been honest and hasn’t moved in to abuse you or your child, why the hell you’ve even contemplated having him be step dad already really baffles me
4 Likes
I’m a give this the benefit of the doubt and hope he said this because he lives in a 1 bedroom 
I wish you told us what he said he meant by that , but if this isn’t the case leave his tail alone!!
1 Like
I also feel the need to mention men are not that cryptic.
But controlling manipulative guys are.
It’s only been 8 months. Jesus. Inwouldnt even introduce a boyfriend to my child until at least 6 months of being serious.
3 Likes
Um or maybe he’s saying - hey I respect you have a kid, and with a kid added to the scenario we shouldn’t rush, hence why we aren’t living together already.
11 Likes
Ask how he meant it. He could just be being cautious because a child is involved and he wants to make sure it works out before moving in with you and assuming the daddy role. Or he could mean he doesn’t want to take on that role at all. None of us will know based off information given. You need to sit down and communicate with him what is going on.
5 Likes
Asking him what he meant makes more sense than asking a bunch of people. Why would you rush to move in with a guy? Give it time and if it’s meant to be you will know. 8 months is not long at all. Don’t set your kid up for failure.
3 Likes
Sounds like he isn’t trying to rush things especially since a child is involved. You should do the same.
9 Likes
If that was told to me I would leave him. My baby is my world and if someone is open about not being comfortable living together because of my baby that’s just not worth my time. At the end of the day, as a mother, it’s your responsibility to protect your child and choose them first always even if you’ve been with someone 10 years. Get more information about it from him, but to me that seems black n white. Kids arnt for everyone and that’s perfectly ok, but you have a kid and so it’s time to find someone who can be ok with that.
4 Likes
You have only been with this man for 8 months and already talking about moving your child in with them…
21 Likes
Get you another place or resign on the one you have. Or see if they will do month to month.
At least if it doesn’t work out, you won’t have to uproot the child.
1 Like
Take your time, there’s a child involved.
3 Likes
My husband had an absent father in his life and he was TERRIFIED about something happening to us and “abandoning” the kids because he knew that if we broke up it would be up to me if i let him continue seeing the kids or not so he was VERY anxious about us moving in together. I would just get him to clarify his feelings and roll from there. 
2 Likes
Oh no! Tell him goodbye!
1 Like
8 months is not long at all.
4 Likes
Time to kick him to the curve.
Need more context. Perhaps he has a broader understanding of the impact it would have on your child if things don’t work out. 8 months is not a long time to be dating. The last thing a child needs is for multiple people to be coming in and out of their life.
3 Likes
At least you know now before y’all moved in together how he really feels! 
3 Likes
Dude could just be terrified of being a true father roll… my husband and I waited and dated way over a year before living together and it was a touchy subject for us both for a while. He didn’t want to jump in too much too soon and potentially hurt my babies. That’s all it was.
2 Likes
Leave his dumb a$$! He obviously doesn’t care about your child: so why be with someone like that. And in my opinion that’s way to soon yo be living with someone especially if you have a child and they aren’t interested in your child
You need to have a conversation about it, just from the scarce information you gave it doesn’t tell anyone enough to make a real judgement, however it sounds like a child may not be what he wants
Leave him and never look back! That is some twisted nonsense, you are a mother and that is your child, you don’t get one without the other!
A man who doesn’t fully accept your child from early on, most likely never will.
1 Like
Idk if you have a boy or girl but a girl is 10x more likely to be molested if she’s in the home with a man her mother isn’t married to. The percentage goes up for boys too. I would NEVER let a man who hasn’t decided he’s my husband and child’s father, cohabitate with me and my child.
And he’s right things are different. It is a huge deal to live with a child as a childless person. 8 months is not enough time in his mind to decide if he’s going to permanently be a family with you two.
2 Likes
Remind him the relationship long term is a package deal. So you may want to ask what his expectations of this relationship is and his long term goals are
2 Likes
Your kid come first, always! 8 months in, and he’s already showing you he doesn’t wanna father your kid. Boy bye
2 Likes
5 months is not long enough to move your child in w a man in my opinion. That doesnt mean hes not interested. Hes just cautious.
3 Likes
8 months isn’t lomg enough to move your child in with an that isn’t his father. Resign your lease or find somewhere else to live. Don’t rush it when you have a child involved.
6 Likes
8 months with him only being in your daughters life for 5 months is too soon to be moving in with a man you’re dating. He probably feels the same. It makes sense. If you didn’t have kids, you guys could go a lot faster if you chose to but there’s a child to think about here. There’s no reason you should be rushing things when you have a child. Get your own place and continue as is. It’s been 8 months, not 2 years.
2 Likes
He clearly needs longer to get to mind uiyr child and just as importantly, your child him too. It may be he’s not wanting to rush because going from dating to living together with s ready made family is a huge step for anyone. It maybe he worded his response badly or didn’t elaborate enough. Don’t jump down his throat snd be offended until you’ve asked him to explain his answer as what he said could be taken different ways snd if you’re to move forward, you need to know what he meant. Don’t give him options either about how it coukd seem. Don’t answer his question for him
I’d ask him to clarify.
Yeah, he could mean he doesn’t want to live with the kid - and that would be a problem.
But maybe he thinks it’s too soon and is looking out for your kids best interest.
1 Like
8 months.
He’s not ready to live you both that’s amazing that’s he’s honest moving into together is a big step can bigger when kids are involved
5 Likes
It’s only been 8 months. I think his answer is probably not thorough but is understandable. Moving in together means taking over dad responsibilities full time and he may just not be ready for that yet. Slowly developing a relationship with a child is one thing and accepting the package deal is one thing but taking it all on full time and reprioritizing is a huge step. They both need more time in my opinion. I personally think that’s too soon but that’s just me.
Ask him what he meant by it. Maybe since you do have a child he wants to be extra cautious until the two of you figure out where your relationship is going.
Honestly, you shouldn’t be moving your child in with a man unless you’re married or otherwise committed to a long term relationship. If you don’t know where things are going yet then you should limit the time he spends with your child so that your child isn’t developing a strong attachment to someone that might not be around long term.
2 Likes
Maybe he doesn’t feel like his current living situation is appropriate for a child to be living in. Maybe he doesn’t have the adequate room at the moment, maybe he thinks 8 months is too soon to live with your child and doesn’t want to make the wrong decision and rush things in case it doesn’t work out. Everyone loves to jump to the worst case scenario.
Maybe he has his head on his shoulders & isn’t ready to move in with someone with children. 8 months is very soon. I wouldn’t move in with someone with children for atleast a solid year or two. It’s a huge responsibility that takes time to be ready for. Lots of factors… is he ready to give up nights with the guys to take your child to soccer? Or leave work for a sick kid at school because you can’t leave work? It puts a lot of responsibility on the “step parent” because live in boyfriends are just there for the mother not the child. Or I could be wrong and it’s a red flag. I think it’s wayyy to soon.
3 Likes
Your child is an issue for him with living arrangements…
8 months and you are moving that fast? Whoa, slow down. I dis not move my kids in with my boyfriend until we were together 4 years. I lived happily on my own with the kids. He may not be ready for that big of a step, for a man it means he has to assume the role if a father, and only 8 months into a relationship? That is moving way to fast, I can honestly see why he said what he said.
4 Likes
He doesn’t want kids. Duh! Move on. Smh
8 months is not long enough to know someone to welcome him to be a stepfather to your child. 5 months with your child is not enough to ask a man to take on the job of father to your child. Soundslike this guy is re a possible and respectful of the fact you two are a package deal and he may not be ready to assume full responsibility for a child of his own or a step child. You need to give this relationship more time and to get your priorities straight. If I were him I would run from you. He is not your meal ticket.
3 Likes
My child over a man ANYDAY!
Well 8 months isn’t very long. It takes at least 2-3 years to get to know someone for good. But to move in together you should get to know him a little longer. But I really can’t speak for that cause me and my husband moved in together after like 1 month after we met lol. But I didn’t have kids thou. And he didn’t either. We were also super young. But if a man rejects your kids like that then he definitely ain’t the one. But I’m not saying moving in together is a bad thing it really depends on you. Like yes me and my husband moved in together a month after being together but we both knew we were meant for each other. We been together for 14 years now and been married for 10 years! And we now have 2 kids together (ages 7 and 4) It’s super rare we have any issues. Follow your heart. But I wouldn’t live with any man not married if I had kids. With today’s world with kids getting abused by step parents and stuff. If I had kid’s when I met my husband we wouldn’t of moved in together that fast. Cause I wouldn’t of trusted it. My kids come first.
3 Likes
He just gave you an out he don’t want a life with your child simple don’t waste any more time
4 Likes
It’s only been 8 months. You live with a child. That’s way to fast to move. You are not single. You have children, that is a huge commitment for someone. You don’t rush things with children.
Sit down with him and ask if in the future he plans on living together and moving forward in the relationship. If he does then continue dating, if he doesn’t want to then it’s done.
8 Likes
8 months is NOT LONG ENOUGH to live together with children. Moving in with someone’s child is a bigger responsibility than getting married!
11 Likes
You have your answer. Get your own place. Dump him. He is being honest.
3 Likes
It means find another place or resign your lease… Continue dating and see what happens or find someone else but he’s not ready to be full time dad yet
5 Likes
I’d be single just as quick as he said that.
3 Likes
Maybe he doesn’t want to over step. I had 4 kids before I meet my current husband. We didn’t live together for almost 2 years. He was there for us but didn’t want to over step. We have been married now for 10 years and have on kid together. Just because he isn’t ready right now doesn’t mean he will never be ready. If you really like this guy don’t push it. When he’s ready he will let you know. Enjoy datingvits only been 8 months
6 Likes
Idk if I’d end the whole relationship over it, I think committing to another adult is one thing, but to take on the responsibility of living with someone who has a child would have me scared too. That’s a big thing & 5-8 months isn’t really long enough to expect that kind of commitment. I would get another place for at least another year and let things happen at a natural pace, not rush
8 Likes
Instead of asking US what he meant by it why not ask HIM…communicate. my now fiance wanted me to move in a few months after we started dating but wanted to wait until my daughter was more comfortable with everything. So maybe he meant it from that angle as well…this is why alot of relationships fail,we take opinions from outside sources.
5 Likes
Shouldn’t even be a question.
2 Likes
You guys only been together 8 months. His response was rude but Sit down and talk. He might think it’s too soon.
I wouldn’t think negative on this one… just yet. He may be being respectful. Meaning they shouldn’t be living together with a child and not married. It’s to soon anyways. Renew your lease. Maybe next year.
3 Likes
You might wanna ask what he meant by that
1 Like
I would say bye bye.
Renew your lease and start looking for a new partner, if that is what you want.
1 Like
Tell him cya. He obviously doesn’t accept your child. His gross.
Sounds like he isn’t quite ready for the full time child commitment. Stay living separate and see where it goes or move on.
3 Likes
I’d tell him byeeee.
Maybe he thinks he doesn’t have enough room for a child or maybe he understands that it’s much more difficult to just pack up and live with someone while having a child.
1 Like
Maybe he is thinking about your child……All these girls saying tell him bye aren’t considering maybe he isn’t ready to live with a child yet, but that’s okay, he’s still coming around a building a relationship. It’s okay to not jump right in and move in with someone. Plus, people parent differently , maybe it will be nice to continue with the relationship, but have somewhere safe for you and your kid to go when needed.
Children are huge, and it can take time! But TIME is okay!!
6 Likes
Wtf. It’s been no secret, what’s the point of being in a relationship that long if your child is a “problem” for him. Sheesh…
It’s only been 8 months…so you don’t need to be living together anyway. Though I don’t like his answer either, it’s too fast and he sounds scared AF
6 Likes
Give it a little more time, worst case scenario you do get a place together and it doesn’t last! I’d rather wait than be stuck in a stickier spot.
5 Likes
Exactly like you did, “wtf”. A serious conversation needs to take place - pronto.
your daughter comes first! The way he said that I’d cut him off
1 Like
No way in hell would I even consider moving my child in with someone so soon. It’s okay for him to not be ready to take on your child full time and it’s selfish of you to think he would.
10 Likes
Uhm first of all I wouldn’t introduce someone to my kid after only 3 months…or consider moving in with them after 8…second I would break up with him.
5 Likes
Follow your gut on this and do what is best for you and your daughter. Also communicate with him on what he meant by what he said. Never put a man above your child.
1 Like
You all are a bunch of men haters… wow…
You’ve been together 8 months, slow your roll… there is absolutely NO NEEED to be living together yet…
6 Likes
Although it was kind of rude, he’s not ready. And that’s okay.
Sounds bad (for some) but my hubby and I have been together 6 years he met my daughter after 3 months, we moved in together after 7 months and even went through a deployment after 2 years. And here we are happy as could be we have a kiddo with each other as well:heart: but not everybody can move that fast. If you know you know. 
if I thought it was a bad idea or wrong I definitely wouldn’t do it! I spent almost every day with him after work and after 3 months I felt comfortable 
if he’s not ready girl ide stay living with u and your baby
That would be an “oh okay bye then” response from me but that’s just me
If he doesn’t have children of his own then maybe he’s worried of him and child getting to attached to soon. Maybe renew lease for another 6 months at least and then talk about moving in. You could bring it up with him and ask what he meant by that, it may not be how you have taken it at all xx
It was the right response, he doesn’t want to raise a child
1 Like
Well he would be seeing my backside walking out the door and not looking back!
1 Like
Sounds like he’s not ready to be a full time parent figure. Which is ok. You just have to ask yourself how long you’re willing to wait for him to figure out when or if he’ll ever be ready.
I’d ask him how he feels about being a father figure, is it something he’s ok with right now? Is the child father around?
Just have some real deep conversations with him
1 Like
Why are you even thinking of living with somebody so soon into a relationship? Worry about your self and your son before anyone else. 8 months is way too soon, I don’t think his response was wrong, I think he’s simply NOT ready.
4 Likes
You’re a packaged deal. Drill that in place now. But get your own place again for sure.
Well at least he was honest about it.
1 Like
He was honest and maybe just not ready yet. I would give it at least another 6 months
2 Likes
He doesn’t want to be full time step daddy.
He was being respectful of your son…doesn’t want him to see mom shacking up with dudes
1 Like
I would take it to mean he’s not ready to be responsible for a child. He’s not wrong, and at least was honest…You’ve only been together 8 months. You need to slow down.
1 Like
Dump him now. You are a package deal.
Id say it’s a PKG deal take it or leave it,if you don’t want to be around my kid then hit the pavement,don’t let the door hit you where the good Lord split you.dont choose a man over your child.
I would ask questions. Men word things terribly. Maybe he meant he didn’t want to rush into living together because you have a child and he wants to be mindful and respectful. Maybe he meant he doesn’t want to live with your kid. We can all speculate for you on fb, or you can have a conversation with him yourself since communication is the key to a healthy relationship.
6 Likes
He don’t care about your kid.
Um, it was just you, as you and not your kid, OR, was it just you, as in he is seeing other women?
He would be kicking rocks if it were me.
1 Like
Ask more questions. You could be taking it the wrong way.
3 Likes
He is not into having a child! Say bye bye
That’s the moment we’d be breaking up. 
Why did you let a man you had been seeing for only 3 months meet your child!?
And obviously end it. Ew.
3 Likes