Wave by as you keep walking
He’s not about children. He should’ve told you sooner.
Ask and find out.
Your child is not his. 5 months is not that long of a time. Just because he’s not ready to be a 24/7 step dad doesn’t mean he does not love you or your son. That’s a huge commitment. Don’t force him into something he may not be ready for yet.
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I took it differently… 
if he were to move in with her and her child, and then the relationship doesn’t work out, the child is the one who will suffer the most.
I believe he is being responsible and that a more in depth conversation needs to be had. As a mother, I wouldn’t want to move in with my bf if I had a child after dating less than a year. That’s not fair to the kid if the relationship doesn’t work out. If he doesn’t see it working out long term because of the child, then of course end the relationship but I would have an in depth conversation before jumping to conclusions. And I would move in with anyone unless I’ve dated them for 2+ years, probably more but that my personal preference.
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I wish we got a follow up to these anon posts. 
Most of these are like reading a dramatic story but always being left at the cliffhanger. Or when someone makes a dramatic post on Facebook and then is like “i don’t want to talk about it” just cone back and give us the rest of the tea 
Also i feel like it’d take a lot of nerve and disrespect to come out and say that like that. Even if someone fekt that way chances are they’d say it differently or give a fake excuse. So im thinking he didn’t mean it that way or he’s got balls and probably just isn’t as great as you are claiming he is. I would have literally called him and said “what do you mean?” And stop having important discussions over texting 
Kick him to the curb!
He gave his answer. Don’t try to second guess him. You asked, he responded. It isn’t just you, so, there’s your answer. Honey there is someone out there for you and your child. Move on. Be at peace. Don’t badger him, try to talk him into, if you succeed, he still would resent your child. Hey, you asked. He answered. Except that.
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End the relationship immediately. He isn’t ready for a child in his life and that could put your child in a dangerous position.
he would need a new woman because i’d be packed and gone lease is about to be up too perfect time to move and start fresh with a man that loves you and your children and accepts you two as a package deal. almost like he’s sticking around until he can find what he thinks is better.
It’s only been 8 months and you have a child. Stop acting like a brat, he is being the responsible and mature one here. You are acting like a child
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I would’ve asked questions for clarity. It could be nothing or it could be something. Then I’d respond to whatever his answer was…
He just isn’t ready to live together yet. It doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you or your child. Honestly, I wouldn’t want to move in with a man only after 8 months of dating, especially if I had a child. (Just my personal preference). He might be ready in to live together in the future.
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That if there wasnt a child involved yall would already be living together. Sounds like he’s being mature about the situation and not jumping to move in together since there’s a kid involved.
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I would say and have said “ we are a packaged deal, if you don’t both of us you can go on down the road “
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Find your own place. It’s only been 8 months and no marriage proposal, he’s not ready, or has no intention. Always keep you child’s needs first.
I would take that in a positive light , he thinking about your child first ! If things don’t go good at least the child doesn’t have to watch him leave , it actually a good thing he thinking about your child and not just moving into
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Leave him on read and move on. No respect for your child means no respect for you. Run.
I don’t think your partner is wrong in saying this.
Honestly, you guys probably would already be living together, but you have a child & that makes the stakes higher. There are more people involved. More emotions, and more responsibilities.
If it were me, I would want to make sure that everything was going to work out before I moved someone in who had a child as well.
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He isn’t ready to be a dad figure, regardless of how well he gets along with your child. He’s telling you to get a new lease without him. Nothing wrong with that. Kids complicate things.
He isn’t ready for a child or maybe he got another girlfriend.
I think it’s tne child tho and I have mad respect for him being very honest and not leading you on.
I can’t blame him. It’s only 8 months. With a kid involved.
He wants to make sure.
That your not crazy once living together
You need to break off this relationship now!!! You come as a package deal. Your child comes first!!! He will not be good to your child. This is why children get abused or killed.
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That would be it for me!!
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Well time to move on and renew your lease
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From the perspective of a stepmom who didn’t move in with my fiance til we had been dating over a year. You want that extra time to date. Once you blend your family the stress hits. He may not have answered like you wanted but he was honest. That doesn’t mean you should just pack and leave. It’s a big deal to move in with and help be a parent to someone else’s child. I have been raising my step daughters for 7 years and have been the only mom they have had for 3 yrs now. Birth mom completely ducked out. The ups and downs of a blended family are hard and you have to have a lot of patience and grace cause it will test you. I totally get where he is coming from. I wouldn’t move in with mine cause I wasn’t ready. Stop and think about him and his point take this extra time to just hang out see how you do together on decisions, parenting, who will have kid when. How will he handle a crisis, sick nights, everything to do with kid. It’s a lot… Give him time this doesn’t mean he doesn’t care he made it clear that he would live with you. Don’t walk out just cause he isn’t ready to help be a parent especially at 8 months
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I just wanna know what you said back in that moment
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You guys have only been together 8 months, I think that’s way too soon to be even thinking about moving in together. But what he said was also a red flag.
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yeah that was his reply that he aint wanting a ready made family. You and the baby are a package deal send his ass walking and move on solo
You and your kiddo are a package deal! Kiss that 8 months goodbye and consider it a lesson learned!
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Dump him! Your child comes first he obviously doesn’t see that.
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Doesn’t see the relationship going anywhere with you if the child is included. Just wants you. Not a package deal.
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He’s trash for saying something like that smh, throw that whole man away
Maybe ask him to elaborate instead of jumping to conclusions he may have a very valid reasoning behind his decision or maybe he’s a jerk but you don’t know till you ask
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Renewing my lease and changing the locks plus block his ass on social media.
Honestly, I’d ask what he means by that. Why bother guessing and asking everyone but him what it means?
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My child is part of this. So it’s a package deal. Do you plan on taking this farther. If not we are done and there is the door
Living together with kids is a huge commitment. Why rush it
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He doesn’t want the responsibility of another mans child
Imo it can be taken 2 ways. 1. He doesn’t want your kid and you should cut your losses. 2. He could just not be ready to be “dad” full time. And doesn’t want to move too fast when your child is involved. Maybe talk to him and find out which one?
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Jerk! He knew the kid was there! Excuse to say you are not good enough. Dumb ass jerk!
This is why you talk BEFORE involving your child. 3 months isn’t enough time to know someone to bring them in your kids life. Cut your ties and do better next time
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Girl it’s only been 5 months of consistency. Give it some time he probably ain’t the one
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Hell NAW! Take me as I am or leave me alone. My child is my WORLD! A man can replace me to any woman anytime, but my child will never replace me to another mother!
Kick rocks buddy … I’m gone u cant have me without my children … REDFLAG don’t waste no more time …
how would you take that response???
I hope you told him off and ordered him the fuck out.
That just boiled my blood in 2 secs…no man should come near ur child, esp if he doesn’t accept that you come with a child!!
There’s only been a few months of his involvement, this is new to him just like it’s new to your child. Don’t rush it. Get your own place, you shouldn’t have even asked him, it should’ve been known. He would offer when the time is right to live together, or he will dump you and if you are living with him and get dumped it’s much harder to restart when you’ve already downsized to get a place together. Stay in your lane, get your own place again or redo your lease. If he wants you AND your kiddo, he will prove it.
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It would be. see ya! Adios!
Bye dnt let the door hit u on the way out
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He doesn’t want to live with you and your child. Get your own place for you and your child.
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And you dare ASK. Good Bye.
I think we should see other people
He can see his ass out the bloody door 
Why would you even want a relationship with him after that?
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First, ending of a lease is no reason to move in together, especially since it’s only been a few months. Second it sounds like he’s not into being a stepdad so time to move on. Renew your lease and terminate his
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That is answer enough; a place for you and your child with him.
And what did you say?
He’s probably not ready to play step daddy yet, which is totally justified and not something he should be rushed into. He went from single to instant family and that’s a lot, especially since 5 months is not a long time at all
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Its alot going from living on your own to suddenly not only one adult but a child living there too. Give him time.
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Sounds like a lot of mamas on here that may be clouding the vision of what he might have meant. You’ve been dating this guy for less than a year. Your child has been in his life for less than 6 months. As a person with no children, maybe he doesn’t want to do all that just yet? Maybe he isn’t ready to live with a kid that isn’t his full time? Maybe you shouldn’t be so quick to jump to conclusions? Give dude a break…sheesh. Maybe date for a year at least. Do you. Not do you for him. Do it for yourself and your child. Coming on FB asking seems like you haven’t actually TALKED to him. Listening to the bitter “red flag…run” females on here could literally ruin the best thing you have in your life (besides your son). How would you feel if positions were switched? Do you, have the conversation, follow your gut…but there’s no way that I, childless, would move in with someone that has a kid that I have never even disagreed with before and only dated for 3/4 of a year. Like what? Guys are dumb and say stupid shit. Females take it the wrong way. Yeah it could be a red flag, but it could also be common sense on his end.
Here’s a different view point for you. If it was just you, then great, maybe he feels that you two can do whatever, if it works, it works, but if it doesn’t, then you are only hurting each other. But, with a kid involved, it becomes more. Now a little heart is involved. Maybe he wants to be sure Raising a child is a big responsibility. Some people just aren’t ready.
The only way you are going to find out is by asking for clarification or talking it over with him. Things aren’t always black or white. Sometimes there’s a lot of shades of gray between.
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I think it’s great that he was honest. He may just not be ready yet…that doesn’t me he never will. Relationship is still young…give it time…get/keep your own place and maintain your independence. And of course…ask for clarification.
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He was honest with you, it doesn’t necessarily mean he doesn’t want anything to do with your child. It simply could mean he isn’t ready yet. I would ask for clarification, and be open to his answer. Don’t rush him into something he isn’t ready for. Sign another 6mo or year lease and see where your relationship is at then.
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Maybe hes saying he doesn’t want to jump into that because of your son. Not that he doesn’t want your son but that you need to take it slow because of him
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My child was here before you, and will be here after you! Dont let the door hit you in the ass.
He could have meant I’d have already asked if it was just you but because of little one I’m taking it at your pace and waiting for you to ask me.
Unless you ask you won’t know.
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He doesn’t want the responsibility of a child. I agree with the other ladies saying he isn’t ready for an instant family. That it’s allot to absorb.
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I think you should ask for clarification and not jump to conclusions without checking to see what his response was all about. I don’t suggest going about it in an ill, accusing manner, but just like a can we talk about this manner. Good luck!!
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Well at least he’s honest. Some men only want their own children if they even want children. I would definitely distance myself from him to save from getting hurt.
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I know I personally would feel hesitant about moving in with anyone if it was less than a year, especially if a child is involved. I adore children & they tend to attach to me quickly. If things went downhill, I wouldn’t just be losing a partner, I would also lose a child I would’ve come to love. Just an alternative perspective. With that in mind, I don’t care for the way he responded. There’s a different & kinder way to say it. You may be facing a deal breaker here 
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Honestly, I think 5 months of knowing the child is way too soon to move in with— I’d wait like a year honestly. No need to rush things, especially with a child involved.
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The people saying get rid of him. Any person who thinks it’s ok to move a man in with you and your child after only 8 months😳 this man is 100% in the right. You dont rush things like that. My boyfriend and I have been together 14 months and we still don’t live together. Why are people in such a hurry. You don’t even know him well enough to live together. That’s insane that would even be a question.
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I would’ve asked him to explain what he means by that. It’s too vague.
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I cant believe the amount of people commenting on her moving to fast. She isn’t asking about how to feel about that. She’s asking how to take the comment about her child 
Personally, I’d understand. However, the relationship would be over
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Nope. Sorry. He’s not interested in children. That would be bad if you continue. No future there. Walk away gracefully. You deserve better and so does your baby. God bless.
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Better to find out now. Walk away and don’t look back.
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I don’t know if he meant it the way you think. I think he knows or thinks you are hesitant about it because you have a child, as a mother should be. I think he means if you didn’t have a child then you’d both be like okay yeah let’s do this! Move in together with only yourselves to worry about. Now he has to worry about something happening and him having no where to go and potentially having to leave you AND a child he has grown so close to. You need to ask more questions and have a long conversation about it though. See what that comment actually meant to him. 
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8 mths is still honeymoon period. Ask for clarification so you know where you stand from here on in.
Not wanting to be irresponsible and become a father figure without being 110% sure. No need to rush that sort of commitment. Very serious decision.
I need more information. To me it could be that when it’s just 2 adults you can make decisions like living together and it just affects the two of you. Maybe he’s thinking about the kid and not wanting to move too quickly or make decisions that could negatively impact the kiddo. You didn’t even mention. How the child’s reacted to having this man in their life, how they actually interact, does this man want to be a parent, etc.
He needs more time to adjust to having a child in his life.
8 months is really soon to be talking about potentially moving in (with a child involved). Get your own place, and have some good conversations about where he sees this relationship going and if he can see himself in a step-parent role. If that answer is “yes,” then continue the relationship and maybe move in in 6-12 months.
If that answer is “no,” you have to dump him.
You need straight answers about his view on having kids.
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He’s established a boundary for himself and that is a good thing wether it feels like it yourself. Regardless of how good he is with your kid when your just spending time living with someone is an entirely different situation. I didn’t have kids at the time and just my little sister being around every day though the interactions were good made him realize that he had a lot of work to do before he wanted his own kids. Like if you don’t live with the kids but you see them alot or even they stay the night often enough you still have that chance to be away from them without finding arrangements yourself. But when they’re your kids it is harder to de-stress from kids.
And any of you people wanting to say children don’t stress you out are flat out liers.
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It depends. You would need to speak with him openly and honestly. Express how his statement made you feel and allow him time to do the same. Being in a relationship with a single mom is different. Maybe he hasn’t been in that position before. There are a lot of unknowns and hard conversations need to be had.
You haven’t been with that man long enough to move yourself and child in with him…… he knows you have a child and doesn’t want more.just leave him
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He is not ready for a commitment to live together 8 months is not enough…why are we so dependent and in need of someone to be on our lives all the time.
It never ever ends well watch …SNAPPED
You need to get in with your life he is great and good to your child …Good news but you have only known him 8 months why would you in the world want to share your home with HIM
Aaaaaaaaah …
.please continue your life …you will scare him away or he will go along with you till he gets fed up then begin the Snapping.
leave the poor man alone…if you 2 are meant to be together it will happen naturally …You barely know him
People SNAP even after 10years of knowing each other in your world of greed lies and superficial stuff.
My dear get on with your life
…Its all about you and your kid he is only a necessary addition …
Love yourself and your child first.
In the west you are always jumping into committed relationships Why???
Did you ask him what he ment by that? Communication is key. I have a great relationship with my first love for the past 24 years. Yes I have plotted to kill him wanted to leave him, and everything in between but we communicate and if he said that I would feel like you. I would ask him and explain why you are asking calmly and collected.
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Lol I get wanting to progress forward but I love my independance in my relationship. He gets along great with my kid and myaelf. But my kid is a kid and autistic. He has his things. And I wouldnt want to put that on someone else in their home. My son stomps and doesn’t pick up toys bevauae of his things-its not being lazy or rude or careless its honestly part of his autism. If I didn’t have my son would I move in with him in a heartbeat…yes. But I don’t want to put that full time on someone else…if the kid acts out an needs consequemces are they obligated to help or do they get to set it cauae its there house. Do u bevause its yiur kid. Or is it a joint effort. He maybe has valid reasons so I would ask him what’s going on. Mine doesn’t want to over step and then there’s an issue and we all no longer get along. This is working great for now with how my son and my life is. And maybe u caught ur boyfriend off guard. Reach out to him inatead of strangers.
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8 months is too new. You shouldn’t be moving your child in with someone you’ve only been dating such a short time…
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I’d make him clarify exactly what he means.
To me, that says he don’t want to be a dad. Move on. He’s not for you.
If he can’t accept your child, he’s not meant to be there.
Point blank.
Your child deserves better.
If hes not willing to take on your kid you need to move on, you’re just wasting your time!!
Drop him like a bad habit. He doesn’t except your child he will never fully accept you. Your child comes with you. You need to make that clear.
After he said that I would of asked “why do you say that?” Or “what do you mean by that” to have him elaborate exactly what he’s thinking/saying.
I’d be blocking his ass and moving tf on. Clearly he doesn’t accept the fact you’re a mother.
tell him You are correct it will be just the two of us. My child & me. Bye bye
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It sounds like he doesn’t want to live with a child.
It never was nor ever will be just you… I’d tell him bye…
Sorry, but your a package deal. The whole package, not the convince of Pieces and parts.
Doesn’t want your child, time to move on. FYI: even if he was interested in your child, why live together so quickly?
He doesnt want to deal with ur child and u defending ur child
What are you in such a hurry for to live with him. Damn you barely know him. Date and have your own place with your child. Why is everyone in such a hurry to be miserable ?? Hahahaha
Sounds like he wants you and not your child and you’re a package deal