Don’t just assume the worst, ask him what he means.
Child should come first always, not a relationship.
I would tell him goodbye
Say Bye Bye! Your kids are more important than a selfish jerk!!!
I would take that response…and end the relationship…
Get rid of him if he doesn’t except your children I see trouble down the rode
Tell him go eff himself and move on to another
Sometimes it’s annoying to be living with kids. Especially if he doesn’t have any of his own and he likes peace and quiet. Plus 8 months is really soon. Visiting and living with someone is different. That’s a huge responsibility.
I man he could have answered better than saying if it was just you alone.
On the other hand maybe you dodge a bullet with your child.
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My first thought was, ‘what the heck, what a tool’ but, I have bpd.
Taking a step back, he might not have meant it horribly but, practically or honestly.
This isn’t just a relationship he’s getting in with with you, it’s an already made family. That is a BIG ass deal. And 8 months is pretty soon to take on that responsibility. If he wasn’t interested in eventually being with you and your child, I wouldn’t think he’d be wasting his own time though.
Get out girl… that is one hell of a rude response… you come with your chuld and your child comes with you period
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8 months and you’re already expecting him to move in with you and your kid??? I feel sorry for your child, you need to grow up and think about your kid. Trying to make this guy their new step daddy after only knowing him for 8 months. 
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Means he’s not ready for a child to become his priority. Give it time at least he is somewhat open to the idea of your child if he wasn’t he wouldn’t date you
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I think he sees it as a short time that you guys have actually been together in the scheme of things. I have two sons and it wasn’t until two years of dating that my husband and I moved in together and subsequently were married. He met my kids after a pretty lengthy time as well. Maybe he is concerned that’s making too big of a step too soon and doesn’t want anyone to get hurt. He also could literally be saying he doesn’t have the room in his current place to accommodate you and your child. Either way his choice should be respected. You should be sure to take the time to really know someone when you’re a mom before you make a move to have them full time every day in your life.
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There could be many reasons he said that. 8 months is too soon to bring someone in your child’s life like that anyway. But it could be because he cares and realizes that, and doesn’t want to jump into that and if something were to happen, end up hurting your child by it not working. It could be because he isn’t ready for that type of commitment etc. there are many reasons. Why not just ask? Assuming will get you absolutely nowhere. Just ask and talk about it. You don’t really know someone for a couple of years and bringing that someone in your home with your child is a huge risk that I just would never take.
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I’d get my own place. That’s a huge red flag for me. You can always continue your relationship but your child comes first! If he’s not ready to parent then do not force the issue.
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Excuse me but if he doesn’t want a package deal then he never should’ve entered into a relationship with you. I don’t care what the reason is… dump him you can find someone who’ll love your kids just as much as he does you. It really isn’t worth the heartache
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Look honestly I’d ask follow up questions …as in “so without my kid?” Or along those lines. 5 months is not long at all… He may change his mind but it’s just too soon to tell.
I wouldn’t be asking us but rather him and as long as you were always clear that you guys are a package - that’s his problem ; and if he is not ready for a kid - move on
He’s not ready for the responsibility of a child. At least he was honest with you. I would move on. He’s had 8 months to think about it. Even though he’s good with your child, he’s obviously not ready for that responsibility. And he may never be.
He was honest, and nothing he said was wrong. He isn’t the parent, 8 months of dating and 5 months around the kid isn’t nearly enough time for him to feel comfortable having a child move in as well. That means less freedom around his place and with his schedule, less room in the house, and more responsibility. That’s a massive commitment, and the relationship really isn’t long enough to make that leap yet. He isn’t saying he doesn’t want to, he’s just saying not yet. It also wouldn’t be fair to the kid to make that big of a change, and if it ends up not working out, the kid not only loses that home, but also a person in their life. Stay living separately until he’s totally certain he’s ready for that responsibility full time, and don’t rush him because that’ll guarantee to backfire by either pushing him away or imploding.
Does he mean he wants to take it slower and not rush because u have a child ? Is this said out of respect to make sure no ones hurt. Or is thus a hint that he doesn’t want to live as a family unit
Well, I wouldn’t particularly be offended bc you don’t want to move too fast either.
There is probably alot to unpack in the situation…i.e. room arrangements, school district, planning out adult time etc.
I would say time will tell. Just let it unfold
Moving in with someone after only 8 months when there’s a child involved might not be the best idea anyway. Take your time.
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It’s not necessarily negative. He could be taking things slower because she has a child, which is not a bad thing. It’s hard to have an opinion without being there to hear how he said it. Could be he cares for her a lot and would have moved in with her already if she didn’t have a kid. But because she does, he wants to make sure the relationship is solid first so her child doesn’t have men in and out of their life.
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He’s being honest and saying he’s not ready to live with your kid. Totally understandable. Don’t rush. Kids are hard work and it totally changes the stakes when there is a child involved in relationships.
I have kids, and a boyfriend. There is no way he’s moving in anytime soon. Like YEARS. And that’s ok. You don’t have to be on some linear path to the white picket fence. Just enjoy where you are. I
I would think a person before they start dating should know if they want to take on a child. It’s not fair to the child. It is early to decide if the couple wants to live together, but I definitely would have him explain, what he ment because she is a package deal , shouldn’t matter if she has a child
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Way to soon to move in together with a child. He knows that. Don’t take it personal. Get to know him better. Sounds like he’s great with your kid. He needs time to adjust to being a parent. Let him adjust slowly for him and definitely for your child.
I was with my current husband for a year before we fully moved in with each other and I had a daughter from a previous relationship. He loved her but taking on someone else’s kid is a huge deal and you can’t force that on someone. They will make that decision when they are ready. 8 months for someone to figure out if they want to be a dad is not long enough and you need to stop trying to force it. He is thinking of the kid’s well being because 8 months is not a long time to be ready for a huge commitment
I think what he means is he knows it’ll be more $ with the kid & he doesn’t quite have it yet but he has enough for 2 adults, with both of them working
2 bed rooms cost more than just 1 and if it was just the two of you y’all would only need the 1 but add the kid & it’s two needed
Also, seriously? You tryin to move in with someone while having a kid, when y’all been together less than a yr? And the kids only known him 5 months…
He probably feels like you’re rushing stuff & just after a 2nd person to help with that kid, not him in particular
So where we at? My lease is up…Selfish much, let him know your lease is up and we’re moving if he takes the initiative to tell you let’s move in together that’s wonderful, if he doesn’t offer keep living your life as if he isn’t there. 8 months may not be enough time for him to make that leap yet.
It’s not the answer, but the delivery. It almost makes it seem like her child is the “hold up” and only reason why they aren’t moving forward. That answer would rub me the wrong way too, but it’s been less than a year. What is she thinking??
Ditch him! No man who feels that way toward your child would be good for you or your child! Love your child and wait for a man who loves you! No Daddy is better than one who resents a child!!!
So he doesn’t like kids (your kid). He told you how it is. Let the kid live with his father. You do understand you have BAGGAGE and NO guy in this world wants a gf that has a kid already from some other dude, (NO MATTER what they tell you). If you want to be happy and have a real relationship take the suggestion I gave you earlier in this message, or, get a guy that has kids!!
It’s been 8 months wtf? 5 months that he is in your child’s life FIVE MONTHS… and you expect him to make such a big decision? He can barely process the relationship properly and you wanting to move in together! That’s a huge responsibility, he will become “dad” and finances would be split so he’d be financially helping with your child as well. Maybe he isn’t ready to play the “daddy” role even if he is good with your child… Just like women who date men with kids try not to rush things like moving in or getting too serious too soon. Give him time to be ready and you just said what he’s response was not what followed after the response, his reasoning and your response to that.
Be grateful to know. Frustrated that he wasted your time, energy and effort. Angry he took a “more than Mom’s casual friend” role in your child’s life. Take some time to get past this and move on. When someone shows you who they are, believe them.
8 months is not a long time. Did you run a background check yet?? Ladies - please run a background check on potential suitors. Not very expensive and will help save a lot of wasted time
Eight months is not long enough to know a person you are wanting to live with for the rest of your life. Especially with a child involved. My second husband and I dated for nearly a year before we moved in together. We were engaged. I had an 11 yr old daughter and a 10 yr old son. We married 10 months later. Even after all that time you don’t know someone. They know how to hide it. He molested my daughter when she was 13. If he says he is not ready. Trust him. Not saying he is a child molester, just that it takes time to really get to know someone.
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Maybe he’s taking the responsibility of being a co-parent seriously and needs more time to consider if that’s something he wants to do for the rest of his life.
I don’t think that’s a bad thing.
You are wasting your time with this clown.He knew you had a child and he let this child get attached to him for eight months. This tells you he would not make a good father to your child. God bless you and your child.
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He had ever right to express his self better now then later. Watch and keep your ears and eyes open .You could be just a landing place until something with no kids. Or maybe where he lives don’t allow kids .
You seem to be moving kind of fast! You and your kid need to live by yourself. If you were single and living by yourself before you met him what’s the problem now? Stop trying to shack up. Y’all haven’t been seeing each other that long so I respect his response to your question
Dump him immediately!!! Your child deserves a loving father figure, you’re a package deal. I’ve been where you are, hold out for the right one, the wrong one can hurt you and your child immeasurably.
Move on with your lifeeeee let that door hit him where the good lord will split him… how obnoxious of him to give you both “affection” cause that’s all it was. He could give two shits about anything. Let go…live your life as if he wasn’t even there Goodluck mama bear 
I think he’s being honest and mature and for some reason you are expecting him after only eight months to commit to something way more complicated. My guess is that u 2 haven’t discussed this important matter and it’s past time to do so
I think you guys need to talk more… I’d be calm but ask what he meant when he said it… it could be that he just means it’s too soon to move in with you having a child and he feels like your relationship isn’t there yet…. Or it could be he’s not ready for that big of a commitment bc he’s only had 5 months being around your child… he could be scared… bc if the relationship turns sour then there’s also the child he is getting close to… etc. 8 months really isn’t that long of a time when there is a child involved. But as a mom you have to make sure that your relationship is stable and that he wants the same thing you do before you bring your guy in full time into your home. Your kid comes first.
So let’s assume this person is 30 years old, you really think you know 30 years worth of a person in 8 months? You’d trust that person to live with your child? 5 months ain’t shit. Live by yourself and worry about your child and you first. Living with a partner when you’ve never lived with him before is a huuuge risk. You can like someone as much as you want but living with someone is a whole different pickle
His eyes are wide open to the fact that he is dating a woman with a child. I just don’t think he is ready to take the next big step of moving in together, it maybe too early for that. Just give him some more time, it’s a big step to take. Just saying.
Children do have feelings. Eight months is a very short time for that type of commitment when there is child involved. It sounds like he understands that.
Run, run as fast as you can!
When you have children, any man who seriously cares about you, must be willing to take the package!
Otherwise, you are looking at a fragmented relationship for the rest of your life!
I would ask for clarification, is his place to small and the expense of a large a apartment maybe to much,if it is I do not want to be around any children 24/7,then you got a problem
He’s not saying that he doesn’t like your child or that he would like you better if you didn’t have a child. I think he’s be honest and responsible by saying this. If you just moved in and he realized that being a father full time isn’t for him, then you’d have more problems. Find a place for you and your child and continue to date him. This doesn’t have to mean your relationship is over.
That he may be kind to your child but not interested in it being permanent
Why would you move in with someone that soon anyway…even spending majority of your time together, you can’t know anyone well enough to live with them in that time. Y’all are wild.
I don’t have kids, but why the hell would you want to move your child into someone’s home after only 8 months? His response was honest and nice but truth be told, if that was my brother I’d advise him to end it things w/ you b/c that’s insane.
8 months is not enough time to know someone and if he doesn’t want your children drop him now he will not change
Get out now while you have that chance . otherwise you will suffer and your children will suffer…he won’t marry you either…so don’t expect that to happen…you don’t want to be wasting your life away with a person…who will never love your child. What he is really saying is …he doesn’t want to parent a child that isn’t his.and he won’t marry you either…cut all ties with him…
If it’s not a hell yes, it’s a no. Easier said than done. There are men out there that are ready to take that “leap”, but he’s not one of them it seems
Kid’s are a package deal…he already knows that ,it’s not super serious to him because he already pointed out 
men already know what they want and he basically said nope ,why waste more time than
Ask him to clarify how he meant it. It can either mean he’s a bit bummed that a kid is involved in the relationship OR it can mean that he is actually very respectful to the situation and is wanting to take it slow incase it doesn’t work out so you and your son don’t get hurt. Only he can really explain how it was meant, so a conversation to clarify really needs to happen
He’s not ready to be a full time father figure. Does he want kids? Don’t force the issue but also treas lightly
First u kick ur own tail for not finding out he doesn’t do “package” deals for the last 5 yrs, and then tell him it was nice, but "we done."And, girl…walk the hell away and don’t look back. Ur child is the only priority. Period.
Why don’t you ask HIM what it means instead of random strangers on line? That’s an opportunity for deep relationship communication.
Ummm. You’re still too new of a couple to even think about that… None of that. You don’t even know a lot about him and believe me when I say that. Relationships with kids involved especially. You can’t be rushing that stuff. It spells disaster from the beginning.
8 months is just way to early to even be thinking of giving up your space to move into someone’s else’s. Things change when you move in together and are around each other all the time, and you’re bringing your child into this. How old is the child? Old enough to have their own feelings about living with this new person? What happens if within a couple months, one of you call it quits, you gave up your rental, where do you go? In eight months time, do you know how he feels about being a father? Does he want children of his own as well, what are his views on parenting, financial goals? Do they match yours? Renew your lease and allow the two of you to find out about each other before jumping into living with someone.
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I’d be pissed …u are a package deal no exceptions n he knew that going in . But id wait to move in just because men with no kids don’t know how hard it is n it can make or break a relationship. N u don’t want yr baby to go through that
Why do you want to take your child and move in with with your boyfriend after only 8 months. Are you that needy?
Here is a suggestion: DATE HIM FOR AT LEAST 4 YEARS - yeah - I said 4 years. This is time enough to weed through habits, disagreements and how to work them out. Also, 4 years gives enough time for “your child” to get to know the guy before “you” get to involved. Putting “your” insecurities and wanting a commitment first is not how life works . .
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I’d take it as “bye boy”… where my child is so am I. We are a package deal. 
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I know of a similar situation… it should never gone so far. The man was not into kids at all much less a relationship with a ready made family. The boy was quiet, well mannered and just wasnt a sports player or ruff and rowdy boy. The man called him a sissy, teased and tormented that child like there was no tomorrow. Needless to say the relationship was short lived. A child can make or break a relationship. Same with the wrong adult combination… it will work or it won’t .
Take your time and watch for the signs… good luck. I hope you find the one you are looking for!
He doesn’t want an instant family. At least he was honest with you. If you desire someone who will be a father figure to your child, then it’s time to move on from this relationship.
Sounds like he has a good head on his shoulders
Ask him more questions so you can find out from him what you should make of it. Open ended and make no assumptions. Good luck 
He’s not long term and I wouldn’t trust him around my child.
He’s given you his answer and I’m sure your not going to ditch your kid so call it quits!
Move on. He’s not interested in being a parent.
I would ask him “what does that mean” and see what he says about it. His next response would mean a lot…
Your kidding right? Then let us move into your place, not his Ma’s basement? Also, don’t play house until you are ready to commit to getting married later in down the line. That is what my mother said to us, I took that to heart.
I’m sensing reckless behavior. Smh get your own place, give it some more time, grow up.
8 months is too soon to be living together. Take it from someone who learned the hard way not to rush into things.
That kids are expensive and 8 months is too soon for him to playing the role of “Daddy”.
Get your own place for you and your babe. He isnt ready for that type of commitment yet
Honestly? If he hasn’t given you any other signs he doesn’t wanna be with you then I wouldn’t over think this comment.
Can all agree that comment was a little douchey- but it’s not like you asked in a proper way either (or that’s how you made it sound lol)
Maybe he’s never lived with children before?
Maybe he’s not ready and that was his way of saying so
One of the biggest things I didn’t realize was important when you talk to men is how you approach them!!
He is honest. Takes him up a notch in my book
8 months is a drop in the bucket timewise for a relationship. Would you like him to move you in before he’s committed to you and your child? It may seem like he’s being a dick but really …8 months of a relationship with a child involved too is pretty fast for a lot of people to be making moves like that. Like maybe get to know them first?
Hes being honest about it instead of stringing you along like a lot of men.
I’d take that as his crystal clear answer
like he isn’t ready to be a father. Don’t force him
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Run as fast as you can he doesn’t want to be responsible for a child
I would break up with him bc the child comes first
I’d be telling him to get out of my life.
8 months is definitely not enough time !
He’s not interested in playing "daddy’ to your kid on a full-time basis ~
8 months? Quit being desperate and take care of your child. Not very MEN out there who will take on another male’s child!!
You take it like he said it ! Keep your apartment !
I’d take it out the door with me and my kid!
Im surprised that your actually wanting help/opinion on the matter.
I would leave him nobody comes before my child.
Pray about it … HE will answer …you Listen … living together is not HIS will
He’d be alone,totally alone
Respect his honesty.
Where your child “doesn’t fit”, neither do you.
Plus, 8 months is too soon to move in with a new partner when you have children.
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