Leave! I have been where you are so believe me, without taking responsibility and getting help he will not stop. When a father physically and emotionally abused his wife, he emotionally abused his children and teaches them to either abuse or tolerate abuse. For their sake and yours, put a plan in place and leave. You have value.
I hope alcohol isn’t in the puzzle. I’m so sorry it’s happening. There has to be a better life for the children. He’s making it hell.
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Call women helping women (I assume there is a chapter in your state) and they will help you with the safest escape route. This is what they do.
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I was with an abusive husband over 11 years …I stayed because we had custody of my stepchildren and the abuse towards my stepson started . I stepped in between many times to stop it , and even called the biological mother to tell her what was going on and that she needed to get my stepson out. She did nothing. I had to make a choice when I became pregnant with my biological son (my ex step kids are still a part of my life ) I couldn’t let my baby be raised in that environment. Do your children a favor…leave him before it gets worse or your son will treat women the same way, and your daughters will think it’s ok to be treated that way 
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Living with that stress and under lying violence is unhealthy for you and your children. Where there’s a will there’s a way. I know cause I was in the same situation. Scared to death but my brain kicked in not my emotions when I left
This is now affecting your children. They learn from Mom’s and Dad’s. Before it’s to late and things escalate you need to take kids and go. Now your son will need counseling. You want to nip it in the butt now. It’s not ok none of what’s going on. The mental abuse, destruction of your home. Mary Martha has shelters in places. Try looking them up. They will help you figure out what to do and how to find a place. Be strong you children are depending on you. When it comes to tou go, you can call for an officer to be there for your safety. They will help you leave safely.
Call the cops, get a restraining order. He will have to pay the bills while you all stay there, get child support set in court. Do not let this get any worse. If you children are picking up these things ifs very much gone to far… you can no allow thme to be around someone like this. They will grow up to think its ok to beat a woman … get to a shelter, go to family , you will be ok, maybe not right away but you will be alive and safe if you leave.
I am 62 years ild and my old man was an alcoholic and verbally abusive and he beat on my mom until i broke his jaw when i was 16 but the verbal abuse stays for a life time trust me it is just as bad if not worse than some physical abuse…. Get the HELL out of it anyway you can!!! Be praying for ya boo…. Good luck
First of all stop having babies for an abuser, take on line classes to get a higher paying job. Stop focusing on him. Set a goal on how you going to get you. And your kids away from this mad man. Women put too much time and energy into a loser. Seek your happiness. I knew i was going to leave my husband eight years in advance, i planed my plan and worked it. You have to do the same and stop talking about being stuck and figure it out.
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From a kid who grew up scared let me tell you this. Get the Hell out of there. Save yourself and your kids future. It will affect everything in their life and relationships because abuse has its own language and it changes you forever. Leave!
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When i left my abusive husband i went into a bartered women’s shelter. Me and my kids where safe. Go and go now because things will not get better only worse.
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Yes victim witness will help. I went three a really bad time and I called the non emergency police # they had numbers for me to call. Sweetie this is no way to live for u or yours. U r a victim and these places even have counseling.
There are places for abused women to seek help, like Rescue House. Remember to pack a bag with a set of clothes for you and your children. Have an extra set of keys made of your car and house just in case he takes one set. Have a plan to leave.
Been there exactly it’s not easy I had to work 3 jobs to support my children. They were 2 3 7 but the abuse was too much please it will turn on them, or the mental will be forever, my scars are still fresh and it’s been 40 years my oldest still has the mental scars get out while there is hope, there is alot more help now than their was then. God be with you
Girl, speaking from experience, he will never change. I lived with a very abusive man for almost 8 yrs. I left him twice and went back because he promised to change. It took only a few days to be back to his old ways. 3rd time I left I filed for divorce that day. I talked to him a couple days later and he actually told me that he thoughts things were getting better. I was speechless. He still yelled at me, beat me, told me that I was useless. He abused me every way that a man can abuse a women, even after I had left the first 2 times. Ok, saying that I would bet on the fact that he’s not going to change. But, that is a choice that you have to make for yourself. Will pray for you and your situation. May God bless you!
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Because I am a survivor as are my children of domestic violence, I know you can get out!’ There are many shelters and people waiting to help you!!! Reach out they will be there!!! Even help with housing and employment.Don’t wait one more day. You can see already what is happening to your children. If you don’t care about yourself, remember you do have an obligation to your children. You don’t have to live with a Bully and spoil your children’s lives as well as yours. You can do it, I was a meak little mouse and I made it out.
Find a women’s shelter of you don’t have family who can help but yes you need to get your children and yourself out of there ASAP.
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Leave now before his abuse escalate’s and either you or one of your children end up seriously hurt or worse . YOU DO NOT EVER DESERVE TO BE ABUSED , You are worthy of a partner who support’s you not abuses you . Run for your life and the lives of your children. I am a survivor from an abusive relationship right after I high school . It was bad broke ribs , spiral breaks on all of my fingers black and blues where no one would see them . Please keep yourself and your children safe . You are in my thoughts and prayers
You seem like you more concern of what you gonna loose than your peace… Firstly you working try find a cheaper place or go to stay with family… So many single mothers are raising their kids with bare minimum… Get out of there and find your peace you can do it.
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Get a Family Law Attorney, he’ll have to pay them. Go to a women’s Abuse Center, most towns have one. Get yourself and your children out of there now . Take your car , the debt is probably in his name anyway. You will survive and your children will be better off. Prayers for you
Get rid of him. It will leave bad memories hurt your children and you forever. They will turn out like him
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Never, ever allow anyone to have that much control over you . It is your responsibility to keep your kids safe, no matter what. As parents we always put are kids first.
I think you know very well what you need to do for yourself and children’s safety and mental well being.
As a former tchr/principal for 30 years, I’m telling you the long term affects on you/ and your kids will be
Devastating…
I know it is overwhelming to leave, and start over, but you and your children will survive and thrive!
Get in touch with a women’s
Shelter. Unfortunately I just moved to Indiana , and can’t
Offer names of reputable shelters. But back in Florida, we had several exemplary shelters, who worked with the women and their children,
Come on folks… please offer any info on women’s shelters for this woman and her children, before it’s too late!
What state do you live in?
Best of luck to you dearly present…
Stop making up stories, tell people the truth. Reach out to family and friends and let them know what’s going on. Maybe someone will be able to help you.
I was in a similar predicament, I stayed for 13 years until one day something snapped in me and I kicked him out.
I kept the kids things and the fridge and let him have the rest if he wanted it. I even helped him move.
If your husbands anger is coming out in your son. You need to act now, you need to get out.
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Get the hell out of there! You and your children don’t deserve that! There’s help for you! Safe houses and places that will help you get on your feet! I know it’s not easy, but you can do it!
It is not easy. I won’t pretend that it is. But you can do it. You can survive and your family is depending on you to lead them out of this cave they are living in. Act sooner than later.
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You cant be concerned about having a vehicle more then your safety and your kids safety. Just find a shelter or someone who is willing to help you and go.
If you stay he’ll eventually start on your kids. My sister put up with it for years until he started on the children’s. Get out! If you can get to a safe place call a shelter for abuse. They’re on the down low, so to speak, there in areas not known to the abuser and they’ll help you with counseling, job search, etc. Good luck.
Quietly see an attorney please. You’ll be without a car because you cant make the payments? Oh my dear. HE will be paying for your car. And the house. And child support for all 3 kids and alimony for you. Do NOT leave your house! You have no broken jaw no bruises. SEE AN ATTORNEY
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It may seem like you can’t afford to leave but the truth may be that you can’t afford to stay. This may cost your children much more than you’ll ever imagine.
Leave him now with your kids. Just leave and go to a women’s shelter. You’ll start over with nothing, but that’s far better than your kids growing up seeing his poisonous treatment of you. Your son is showing you what he’s learning. Your daughters are learning to be victims. Go now, while your children still have you alive.
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Oh just try
And think positive and leave him. I had a number of years of both mental and physical abuse and I can assure you that both you and your children will become damaged unless you do something to change the way you live. Yes it will be hard but it will be well worth it. I will shortly be 80yrs of age, my children have grown up. Best Wishes - and have a happy future
He will never change! Get out for your children and yourself, it will be hard but you will be so much better off!
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I made it with out any housing, electric, water help…I was working full time and had to live in 2 different shelters for women for 3 months, I left with my 7 kids once he layed a hand on me… I was just going to make a report, but the officer told me to press charges or he would do it again… same police office which later lost pictures they took as evidence… coruption has always been the issue in my old home town… thank God never left our side and we are blessed to be ok:pray:
There is no semi abusive. It is a cycle and can be part of of a mental condition. Get your children out and be safe, please.
He hasn’t hit the kid’s YET but if u stay… there will come a time when one of ur little girl’s is going to piss him off and then he will start hitting them too I mean ur son is already picking up his violent habits and when he grows up he will be just like him I would do everything in my power to get out of there I will be praying for you and your kid’s
So you live in danger with kids and they see this . You live there why. It might get worse if you don’t get out
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U need to get out of there.
If necessary, go to a shelter & don’t go back!
U owe it to your kids.
Just on the news here in my area today, a father killed his wife, daughter & critically injured his toddler
before he killed himself.
Seven domestic abuse calls to that address this past year.
I am like everyone else. You can go even underground where he can’t find you. You definately need to leave him because it is affecting your son. He needs a positive role model. He needs to see how a man treats a woman. If he doesn’t see the right way, then he could turn out to be abusive. I know that is not what you want. There is ways to get that help. Look up numbers or even go to the hospital or police department and tell them what is going on. Do anything to get out.
My advice, just leave. Similar story but we were abandon left with nothing and I didn’t have a job at the time. I felt the same feelings and I probably never would have left had he not on his own. Things will work out, if I could raise 3 kids by myself at 21 then you can do it. It’s so worth it. Choose the best life for your kids and just go for it, everything works out in its time.
Leave. You don’t need a car or money to save your life and your children’s. The kids should be taken to a safe place with structure and therapy. I was a child in a similar situation and it has been hard as an adult not to blame my mom for leaving us in that situation for so long
LEAVE!! Pictures, documentation, file for emergency custody of u can. Get into a womens shelter if u cant get in with a family member or friend. A friend has shield ( i believe its called she pays for like 20 a month so if she ever has to call the polive an attorney will be there within 10 mins so nothing will get dismissed by police officers etc… please be safe u and ur babies
Your safety and the safety of the children should be your priority. You MUST leave since you already tried the counseling route. If you are a good Mother, you will protect your children from this violence. Your son is beginning to act like his father so he already has behavior problems and will have problems in school when he can not control his emotions and will probably hit his wife if nothing changes. If you cannot for yourself, then leave for your kids. He has hit you and eventually hit the kids. I know it might be difficult for a while financially but if you divorce your husband he will have to pay child support which will help. Get a better job. You are not stuck unless you want to be. Is there anyone you could move in with? Are there domestic violence shelters available. I know no one wants to be in a shelter but at least you will be safe and have people who will help you find an affordable dept, better job and file for a restraining order if you need to.
I get that you think you can’t afford it. You probably can’t. So call a women’s shelter or go ask a church or friend or family member for help. It is your responsibility to keep yourself and your children safe. If you condone his behavior towards the kids and stick around, you’re to blame too! Good luck to you and God Bless you and your family 
Coming from 9 years abusive relationship suffering from being kicked…black eye…drag…having a gun pointing at me…verbal abuse…
Leave he would even get upset if I visited my family …leaving is better than going back to your family in a body bag!
2 years later and I’m traumatized i still have nightmares and I flinch if anyone put their hand up at me( just to communicate)
You can figure the rest out later…there is resources and help for dv relationships!
Take pictures! Document anything you can. Look up to see if it’s legal to record without the other party knowing. Also, find a women’s shelter. They will help you. Put your kids in counseling.
Sounds like definitely abuse. Please work toward independence and pray for a way to flee with your children.
I was in this type of marriage when my kids were young! If you can’t get him out, you need to leave with the kids. You are entitled to receive spousal support and child support to help with finances. Is there any way you could go full time at your job?
The national domestic abuse hotline is 1-800-799-7233 and they will help you, dont forget to get important papers like birth certificates and important things together and put them in a safe place were you have access to them
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He will have to pay you money to support your kids. Plenty of single mums find a way. Your happiness is far more important and the well-being of you and your children. I know you will feel worried about how it will all work out but Get out to save your children.
As a young child my dad abused my mother frequently, she finally left him after 20 years. She told me recently she stayed for us kids, it would have been much better for us if she had left him 
Don’t make any more excuses. That’s what they are. Leave now and protect your children there are programs everywhere in every town and city for women and children escaping violent homes. They will get you counseling, housing and everything you need. Leave NOW and don’t turn back! Go to police they can help direct you the right way.
No such thing as semi abusive. He’s either abusive or he isn’t. Find a Safe Shelter ASAP
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You answered the one main reason to leave this jerk and that’s your 7 year old son ! You will get government support as well as working and if those are the only things that worry you then you also have problems and you need to fix that. I may seem harsh and that’s too bad . You know what you need to do and you will find a way to do it all if you really want to leave !
Definitely get out of that relationship because your children are learning his behaviors! Look for your local domestic violence shelter and give them a call they can help you
Google safe Horizons. A domestic violence organization. The help in all different ways. They have counciling for families, for the ones doing abusing. Physical or psychological. They can help you leave if that’s what you want. Its good to have someone to talk to. They’re located in jackson heights.
It is absolutely best now, this moment, and to child protective services or the adult protective services, your church, lastly the police. Tomorrow maybe to late. Once again leave right now.
There is no semi. He is 100% abusive. No matter what it takes get you and your kids out of that situation. The longer you stay the more it becomes your own fault. And the blame for what it does to your kids becomes yours. If you can put you first put them first. Go to your states department of human services and get all the help they have! It’s not a hand out it the help you need and deserve.
Get out now. I lived through abuse and had two babies. I ended up deaf because of his abuse. If I had stayed I would have been dead. Find someone to stay with if you don’t want to go to a shelter. Don’t let him know where you are. I went into hiding for a bit till I could go to court and divorce him.
When this same thing happened to me, there was no help. The police laughed at me. My priest said I should be a better wife. He beat me when I was pregnant, he beat me when I wasn’t pregnant. He beat me for the fun. I had no money and no car. Go get help. There are so many people to help you. Men like that live a long time. You can’t wait him out. Good luck.
As a child of domestic violence I agree you need to leave. My father attacked my mother when she left and stabbed her 300 times.( she lived through that hell) there are never enough excuses or what if’s just GO. Protect your children and yourself. Show them true strength and courage, yeach them about self love and compassion. Bless you and your family and I hope you get through this difficult time…Sending (((Hugs)))
Make a police report thay will take him away for the safety of you and your children you will be eligible for social security payments i have been through this myself…
Go to a home for women that are abused they can help you. If you continue to stay you’re teaching your children that this abuse is acceptable and it teaches them to not love themselves and pick a bad partner .
Definitely leave ! It sounds like your son is learning from your husband to be an abuser ! No man should ever lay hands on you ! Save yourself and your children!! You can do this be strong and when it gets hard remember why you are doing it !!
Document the abuse, pics, etc. Hospital records, etc. Get out, and get a restraining order so he can’t get custody.
I’ve been there. Leave, take your kids, file a restraining order. There are women’s shelter all over & help when you need it. Save yourself & your kids before it to late!
Leave & go to the nearest women’s shelter. Heck, go to the nearest police or fire station & tell them your life & that if your kids depends on you getting to a shelter. Domestic abuse shelters will help you every step of the way to help you build your life up & put a roof over you & your kids heads. Leave, run, don’t look back
He is never going to change. Do yourself and your children a favor and leave
As hard as it will be, it will be better than one or all of you getting hurt.
He may be suffering from Traumatic Brain Injury . You need to consult a therapist and get some answers. You can go to a shelter with your kids. There is nothing to gain by being around him right now. There is a possibility in the future. You are ruining any future you and the kids might have. Make some phone calls, make a plan and get out soon! Many of us have done it with just faith and a belief we are worth more. Things will fall into place and opportunities will present if you believe they will. Change your mindset, practice gratitude, focus on you and not on him and there will be people to help you. Shelters may not be as comfortable as your own home but they provide a peaceful good night sleep and support. I know your nerves are shot!!!
I particularly appreciate the sound advice women have offered here on this post for help. We all have guidance and resources to assist a hurting person, and I applaud all who engaged in this woman’s need for assistance. Kudos ladies!
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You really don’t have a choice , your son is picking up his ways. You’ve got to go. Put your son in counselling first thing when you get out. Just plan for a day when he’s going to be gone, don’t go somewhere he knows, go out of town first and get a hotel room. WHATEVER YOU DO, don’t go back afterwards . I know its going to take courage try to be strong . You may have to find a battered womans shelter for a while. Get a restraining order for sure. Please don’t put it off. You are in my thoughts dear, if you get scared just think of all of us cheering you on and supporting you.
I lived a life that seems very similar to yours. Please make the decision to leave with your children, don’t change your mind or look back. I wish I had sooner, before I new it my children’s mental health was seriously damaged. I have bipolar and my mental health seriously suffered and kept me from leaving even longer. I wasted many years that should have been wonderful for me and my children. It’s hard to do but you must. There is help, housing, food, legal. You know what’s right or wouldn’t have asked. Prayer and faith will see you through, the Lord will provide. Get some counseling for you and your children. Once you get through the rough times, you will be confident and self sufficient. Your children will learn strength through your example and respect you for getting them out of such a terrible situation. You will look back and be so grateful you had the courage to provide a better life for you children and yourself.
I know that you can do it! My prayers for strength, courage and success are with you.
Don’t stay just because your scared to leave I know how hard it is and how scary but believe me there is help out there and life is so much better after, it may take time but it does get better. Also safe your kids they need help now as it really does screw them up. Good luck.
Have you tried to get him in church and maybe council with the pastor. Not sure if you go to church or what your beliefs are but I know I will be praying for you
Do you have any support network that can help you? Parents or a relative? Right down every abusive thing you can think of from recent backwards. If you don’t think he will come to house and hurt you, go down and file an emergency protection order. Bring your notebook of abuse. If you don’t feel safe at house then go to friend, family, or shelter. Shelter will help you get things in place like assistance, shelter/apt, food, clothing, transportation etc. It’s not the most ideal but they can really help. Churches are a good place to seek help with certain things too. Your kids need you to be strong for them and get them out of that situation. And yourself. You don’t deserve anything but love and encouragement. Love doesn’t hurt!!
Get out! Your daughters will think this is how men are supposed to treat women and they will find someone just like him! And your son is already displaying abusive behavior, he will do that to his girlfriend/wife because he thinks it’s how men are supposed to treat a woman. Get all of you some counseling so this cycle stops with you!
Plan your escape. It’s not as easy as just picking up and leaving if you have no one or anything. I would leave as soon as it is possible, especially while your children are still fairly young. Make a plan and follow through. I hope you have some family or close friends that would be willing to help you with that plan
Get out of there. I went thru something like that for years. It is ruining your children to think it is ok to be that way. GET OUT!! I went to a shelter with my kids. They are out there to help. Contact a lawyer to find out where there is one in your area. DO IT NOW!
This abuse will continue. Go to a safe house for abused women. He will not know where you are. You do not want him to know where you are. Get out. It will only get worse.
LEAVE… even if you have to go to a women’s shelter . The verbal abuse issues will damage your Kids and you for years. There is always a way… stay strong❤️
1st in a divorce each person is entitled to a vehicle, apply right now for govt housing because it can be awhile and don’t down play mental abuse. Those words will forever remain in your head and your children’s head. Go to DHR they will help with child care. Get a full time job that has benefits, it’s a good time to get full time. Until benefits kick in the children can get medicaid. The rest is up to you and it’s going to be hard at first but definitely worth it
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There is help out there. First make sure you collect all you and your children’s birth certificates, social security cards all important documents and put them in a safe and easy access. Go to your nearest Dept of Social Services with your children and they will place you in a DV shelter since you stated you have no money to support you leaving. You can do this if you have no support from friends or family.
Pack up and leave go to the local council office with your bags and children and they will give you emergency accommodation until they find you a house. Also stop making up stories about how things got there and start telling the truth. It’s allowing him to carry on. Good luck
Making up stories don’t wash everyone knows the facts he is an arsewipe. I put up with it for 12 years then ran away never to return. But now I notice my son has and is violent with his son who is 23yo. So unfair. The Apple hasn’t fallen far from the tree.
Get out now leave run don’t look back or tell him where you are. Get help to move interstate or the other end of the country. Salvo, St vinnies and other dv people will help you as well as the government, I think commonwealth bank n nab, will give you $1000.00 to help towards setting yourself up. $1000.00 will buy you a cheap car if you need it. Second hand furniture n clothing will suffice till you can get to the sales in kmart, big w, best n less. Just go you will survive. And have a better life.
Hopefully there’s a shelter for women and children where you live that they can help you and to get on your feet without him … seems impossible but there is programs like that… maybe start at a local church to see if they know of services … you And your kids deserve much more than just doing nothing
I watched my mother be in an abusive situation. It’s scary for kids to see this and anxiety for them can be overwhelming. Your son is indeed learning this is how you treat someone when he’s mad. If you plan on leaving make sure you have birth certificates, as cards, banking acct infor and hopefully copy of last year s tax filings. Prayers for you and your family
Start a detailed journal of the abusive events. Be sure to include time, dates and possible witnesses. Do what it takes. Even if that means shelter. Start saving what you can in cash.
Leave not for yourself but for your kids. The kids need safety and so do you. It will also show the kids that the Way he has been acting is NOT ok. I have been there and it was tough but we got through it. I had no idea how much control my now ex husband had over me until after I and my kids left. I figured it out when I started counseling after I left him. Yes physical abuse is bad but sometimes the emotional abuse is way worse and the effects of emotional abuse are 10 times worse than the physical for you and the kids. Praying that you will have the courage and the the strength to leave. There is help out there. Go through the police department if you feel that is best and they will help you get in contact with people.
Make sure to have
your and the children’s birth certificates, Social Security cards, immunization records and your marriage license in one place to take with you. Don’t tell anyone that your leaving ahead of time especially the kids. Depending on what arrangements you make with a women’sshelter, it might be a good idea to send the kids to school as normal, then check then out. When I was a Social Worker decades ago, I arranged for a mother w 5 small kids to escape to a Women’s Shelter. She had all the important papers together and packed their suitcases when he left for work. I took her to get the kids out of school, then to the bus station where we had already purchased the tickets. Her husband was very dangerous. Happy to report she never returned to him
Get out today! Judge was 1st to tell me my 4 sons would be abusers and my 2 daughters would be abused. I felt like I had been hit by a tank! Call the closest domestic abuse shelter asap! If they dont have openings, ask everyone you know for help!
I live across the street from shelter and they help many women out, I don’t know where you live but when you leave, do not let him no where you are, get a restraining order and try to have no contact with him, get a caseworker at shelter to help you. Don’t stay where you are at, it has to be someplace he can’t find you
Yes leave there’s shelters for you and kids. He won’t get better. The kids have had enough too. Leave.
I went to the local dpss office. They knew what to do for me. They were kind and very helpful.
Wake up he is either abusive or not there is no such thing as semi abusive you are trying to minimize his actions and until you decide to face the truth it doesn’t matter what advice you receive because everytime some one gives you advise your response is going to be Yeah, but. . .and you will start defending his actions, so until you decide to face reality you are just wasting yours and everyones time
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Call the cops. and have him removed get a restraining order on him because it will come out when the kids are older as this i am going through right now and satan has taken over you just have to pray and ask the Lord for help.
What the heck is “semi abusive!” Get the hell away from him with your kids!! Even to a women’s shelter.
I waited and waited and waited for 25 year’s. My kid’s lived through a very toxic marriage. My mistake was being to scared to do it. I knew he would walk away from his kid’s also. I waited way to long, and it did a ton of damage to my children. Two of mine were grown and a teen and an 8 yr. Old boy. Thank goodness my kid’s are now getting through their trauma finially. I truly have to live with what I allowed my kid’s to live with. I was an angry bitter misrable mom. We know are growing and learning. Thought my story could help💖
Please leave to save you and your children. You have said it has already effected your son. Please. There are people out there that can help get out before it is too late. Hug and prayers
For your’s and your kids safety-leave and do not wait. Go to a shelter or somewhere safe and can counsel you on your other obstacles and how to change and cope with the aftermath of living with this type of abuse.
Take it from one abusive person to another stop feeling worthless go to the springs they help you get job and take care of u till u can do it on your own.i did same thing way back was with my man 11 yes of abuse get out now
I stayed with a physically and verbally abusive husband for 24 years. I stayed for the kids. I left him 10 years ago. Now that my children are adults I see a lot of him in them. My son said to me "why didn’t you leave dad earlier. I’m just like him…
Broke my heart.