Leave his ass. I was a child of abuse. I watched my mom get the shit beat out of her for the first 8 years of my life… she divorced and got a new bf who moved us out of state, got on drugs, beat her, broke her fingers and tail bone, choked her out while he was driving us in the car, and a hell of a lot more from 8-11 years old… I have PTSD with men… screaming, arguing etc. It effected me a lot and I was mad at my mom for a long time for putting me In a place I never should have been put in TWICE… I’m now an adult and mom myself and I have forgave her because I understand why we couldn’t leave… we walked a lot of places due to not having a car, we struggled a lot, and I never had everything I wanted but I had what I needed and I was happy to see her happy and to be out of the stress and abuse. Do your kids a favor and get them away from the situation before the trauma gets worse.
Get out! Abuse is abuse no matter how you word it. It’s not gonna be easy, but it’ll be worth it. I was 9 months pregnant at divorce court. I left when I was 13 weeks pregnant after he almost killed me. Reach out to the resources you have in your town and get your babies out! You’ve got this!!!
You can’t have your kids learning those behavior verbal abuse is still abuse and if your kids are witnesses to him physically abusing you and they are doing it to each other, run girl!!!
run fast and far. contact a domestic violence group. here in sacramento we have Weave they have places to put women up
Make an action plan with your parents/siblings/family. Record him if you can for court. Get out of there.
Frying pan beat his ass girl 
Move on. Children don’t need to be raised in a stress filled environment.
Go to the ER tell them you’re looking to escape abuse they will give you a number to a hotline where you will go meet somebody who will take you to a secret shelter I’ve had to do it once before they will not give you the address you will have to follow somebody there and you will have to turn off the location to your phone so that the person abusing you cannot contact you
A man look at it i think its time to throw in towl before kids wont have a mother and daddys in jail stop all ot right or go to a mothers shelter tom fl
Work it out with therapy, if it can?Be strong and leave, if you can? Teach the children to be better than that. Millions of lovers have done it. You can do it. Good luck.
Leave baby took me 11 years to walk away
Stop making excuses for his behavior.
Yes it’s hard.
Yes you’ll want to fall into the same rut.
Yes you’ll be okay.
It took me 5 years to leave… with physical abuse on top of what your going through.
He almost killed me…
Run. Before it’s too late.
That is not semi abusive that’s straight up abuse. Get to a woman’s refuge and DO NOT go back to him. Seriously once you leave you need to never go back because it’ll only get worse until he decides to change and that takes a long time most of the time never happens. Think of your children and your future. Please seek help.
Your son will be a woman beater too if you don’t show him something different. And your girls will think it’s okay to be abused. I went to a domestic violence shelter with nothing. They helped me get on my feet without him.
Reach out to domestic violence services such as 1800 respect or Safe Steps if you are in Australia or the equivalent elsewhere. They will help you leave. Also speak to Centrelink and Legal Aid.
It never gets better!Leave and don’t look back!
It’s mental abuse. Abuse to your children because it teaches them this is normal. They will do the same to theirs if you don’t teach them and get out soon. There are several churches and shelters for you to go. There are lawyers who do pro Bono work. They are required to do so yearly. It’s a part of their job. Has something I believe to do with taxes. But, I believe colleges have students who also do free representation. I urge you to seek out a church. They will help more than you can imagine. My church helps with food and bills. They also have a place to stay. Your husband will pay alimony and child support. They are getting more strict on it. InTexas you can’t register your car unless all CS is payed . The government will also garnish his taxes and pay check for you. God bless.
If u don’t leave, ur setting up another person up to go thru what u r going thru now, get out atleast for ur kids sake
They don’t change or get better. Grab your babies and run before you are making excuses about your son doing the same to his wife 
Leave. Now. Quit coming up with a dozen reasons to stay. Picture your daughters with men like their dad. Your son treating his wife the way your treated. Is it ok? Can you live with that? Cuz that’s where that ends up. And you’ll be lucky if your still alive to even see that horror story. It’s harder to go through what you are now, than it will be to start over even if your starting over with nothing. You need to document the abuse. Get proof of it. Because sure as I’m writing this, he’s bastard enough to hit you where itll hurt you the most and challenge custody. Take pictures of your walls. Record the next meltdown. Go to er. If it’s safe enough, get the most cherished items out of the house and somewhere safe before you go. Take your kids with you to er. Don’t tell them what your planning. Just tell them when your ready to go that your taking them for a drive for ice cream or something. Try if at all possible, to get your kids cherished items out too. He could very well destroy the entire house once he realizes your not coming back. If the situation is too volatile for you to take the time to do this, don’t do it. Even cherished items aren’t worth your life or your kids lives. Please, stop coming up with reasons to stay. Youve seen the headlines, you know how this is going to end.
Trust me. You and your children would rather be uncomfortable than dead
Leave an never look back . He will kill someone.
Document record it all. Family court is harsh and if your aren’t careful those kids will be forced to be alone with an abuser
Call the local domestic violence shelters
Honey, I know it’s going to be hard, but you need to get out asap! It will only get worse over time, you have to protect yourself and your children. Please call 1800respect, and find out what help you can get. Wishing you good luck.
Make an appointment with your Dr & while you are there get the Dr to call the DV hotline whom will work with you to get you out of your situation & help with finance & possibly a vechile to help transport the kids.
Get you and your babies the hell out of that hell hole! You don’t need that shit
What are you waiting for?
Why don’t you realize you’ll get child support and those children will remain in that house and he’ll have to pay for that too!
This isn’t “semi” abusive. It IS abuse. It is damaging your kids. He will still have access to them when you leave too which is sad. Get your son help before it is too late. Get Into therapy for you and your kids. Counseling isn’t going to change who he is. If he wanted to change he would.
get out go to shelter if you must they will help you
It’s better to have come from a broken home then to be in one. You can do this! Seek DV advice with the contact number above as soon as possible so that you can start making a happy life for yourself and your children. Commonwealth bank also help DV victims with $1000. Take clothes, birth certificates and anything else of importance that you need and leave the rest behind 
You need if Leave when he is at work . The abuse will get worse as time passes. Leave now
It’s not “semi-abuse”. It’s abuse, period. The next time he hurts you, call the police and file and protective order, then file for separation. He’ll still be responsible for the bills, and he’ll have to pay child support and alimony. With this money, you’ll most likely be able to afford a vehicle. Then you have time to review your finances and see if and when you’ll need a job. Do this for your children if not for yourself. You already see they’re suffering. Is this what you want your son to grow up to be? Is this how you want your daughters to accept to be treated? I did it. Many of us have. You can too, for you and the kids.
U need to leave for your kids! PLEASE LEAVE and give them an opportunity to have another life and not grow up knowing just an abusive one.
They will become that way because that’s all they will know. Your son may be abusive as an adult and ur daughters will put up with it because that’s what they seen.
If nothing else gives u strength to do it just look at ur children. It will be rough but there’s women’s shelters, go to the police maybe they can direct u to a safe shelter, maybe your county has info, call around, Google. If you seen a counselor before and they knew everything they should have offered you some numbers?
I Wish u the best.
Leave now or you will just keep making excuses until its too late!!
You’re making excuses and you know it . You keep hanging on hoping he’ll change - he won’t . Your son is " choking " his siblings and you’re doing nothing !!! He’s screaming out for help and you’re deaf . Money is not the main factor here - your kids are !! It is your duty to protect them and yourself and you’re not . Yeah you may be scared to be on your own with your kids but are’nt you more afraid that one day your kids will get up and find your dead body . Or even worse , your son might go a touch too far on his choke hold ???
It’s not going to be easy but it will be worth it. Don’t let the monetary aspect stop you from leaving. Call 211 and find out what shelters might be available in your area so you can work on getting a little savings and your own place.
Please pack your children and leave as soon as possible. Yall safety is first. You can figure the rest out later. Google for womens shelters in your area and go fast. Ill be praying for you and your children.
Leave there are shelters to help you. I grew up in a verbally abusive home as well physically. But the emotional abuse sent me to therapy not to do it to my kids.Some of the greatest hurts in my life were caused by my parents.Run get out those scars last a lifetime.
Get an attorney, file an emergency restraining order with move out order, request full custody and that he be made to continue passing the bills. Literally am going through this right now.
It’s very easy for everyone to say leave now but I understand that it can be difficult. You have time and history invested in this man and its hard to lay that aside when there must have also been good times. It has to be your decision to leave although I agree with everyone else that I think you should. There are agencies that can and will help. I think you already know what you need/should/want to do but just needed encouragement. I hope you have found strength from everyone here. Good luck
Staying put is not an option. The way your Son is treating his Sister speaks volumnes. You need to leave as soon as possible, and once setglef, sort some Councilling for your Son. He has to be shown this is not, nor ever will be, acceptable behaviour to her, to anyone. Seek help from a Womans Refuge if necessary, but get out of that toxic relationship
Leave ASAP … by staying you are telling your kids that is acceptable. Explain to them that it isn’t okay to hurt someone…either physically or mentally.
Contact a shelter for victims of domestic abuse. They will help you formulate a plan to leave safely. Do you have a trusted friend? If so, start slowly removing things from your home that he will probably not notice and store them with the friend. Clothing, photos, treasured Momentos, important papers like bank account statements, tax returns, social security cards, birth certificates, medical documents, etc… Save every penny you can but DO NOT keep it in the house or in a joint banking account. Cash is key here, as he will most likely close or lock you out if any joint credit cards and bank accounts. Don’t threaten him that you’re going to leave, say nothing. Of course, if it becomes truly physically dangerous involve the police. You may also want to enlist the help of the guidance counselor and school resource officer at your children’s school (s).
Get away! Leave! Somehow someway! Your kids are learning this same behavior and you all could be in serious danger.
What you might not realize is, yes he is being abusive to the children and unfortunately you are allowing it to happen by being there. The man is Angry, aggressive, a bully, and has assaulted you. The person you fell in love with is in there some where but you can’t fix him or even afford to wait until he fixes himself (if ever). There is some great advise from people for you to follow. Right now it is just to get to step 1 and leave for a shelter that has a place for you and kids. A friend can drive you. If no friend, you can go to a local church and ask for someone who would be willing to drive you. The point is… Your the only adult. The kids can’t leave or know who to call to help them. That is your job. Also when you do leave, expect a thousand and one promises to “change” Continue on your path to raising your children on a healthy path. People have been able to change and do change but look for the actions and not the words. Good luck
Contact victum witness. They can help with shelter and aid in helping you get back on your feet. Sounds like its just a matter of time until you really get hurt. You are alredy seeing the damage its causing your children. Please get help. Counseling seldom changes an abusers behavior
Honey, I went through the very same only without the physical. Still, it felt like he could explode and go that route at any given moment. I didn’t leave and now I have grown children who don’t stay in contact with me because of all they saw and heard and what was directed towards them. It’s a painful price to pay for allowing it to continue on. It makes you complicit. Please leave and do whatever you can to ensure your kid’s psyches don’t suffer any longer.
This may require a police escort out of the house with the kids to a safe, destination unknown to him, location.
Leave him. Apply for legal aid, hud housing and child support immediately, depending on the state you might be able to get spousal support. If you don’t have family you can stay with go to a shelter and don’t let him get the kids until there’s a custody plan in place with the court.
ETA- the most dangerous time in an abusive relationship is when you leave, be careful.
Please leave, before he hurts you or the children. There are shelters for abused women and children. It will not get better. I was sure it would,I was so wrong. I have had three major back surgeries to repair the damage he did. Believe me when I say IT DOESN’T GET BETTER.
I’m a domestic violence advocate. You need to get out now! Call your local domestic violence agency asap. They may have safe units you can move to & plenty of resources to get you on your feet. I know you’re scared, but it time to get out before your situation gets worse.
You need to leave NOW don’t second guess anything, also you need to report him and get to a woman’s shelter, they have resources to help you until you get back on your feet and you choose who can and can’t contact you! Please don’t take I’m sorry it won’t happen again, because it gets worse each time you let him back in! I watched family members go through this and now they are living the best life! My prayers are with you!
You must leave him for all of your safety. Ask a friend or family member to help you. There is no saftey in pride. If you have no one to turn to, look for a woman’s shelter but before you leave take pictures of the holes in the house. Your lawyer can use it court.
Family harm is not just physical it comes in many forms and I’m so sorry that you are experiencing this, it’s not ok, you don’t deserve it and in no way is it your fault. There are some great experts who can help you plan what to do safely like women’s refuge and shine. There are safe browsing sites on lots of websites eg supermarkets, banks, retail sites, which have a little green circle in the bottom of their site, which registers as their site but takes you through to be able to contact help to make your decisions and will support you whether you decide to stay or go. Kia kaha
Do your best to make a plan. An elaborate plan on a full escape and a place to HIDE when you disappear. Try getting a free government phone so you can disconnect the number he knows ASAP contact the police or woman’s shelter and have them assist you i. Hiding yourself and the kids from him. It’s very important that you take that step so he can never find the kids and get custody. Document every step you take and all the abuse that has happened leading up to your decision to go for the safety of your family INCLUDING the actions of your son towards his sisters. Try to make it legally cut and clean and make yourself unfindable until the dust clears and his anger isn’t as high. He will cry and beg but please please don’t ever give in. He can not change. It’s not possible and has never happened in the history of abusers
This is what abuse does it let’s you think it’s not so bad. It makes you feel that you are not strong enough, smart enough, financially independent enough to do it on your own. There is help out there just reach out. Keep reaching out till you get the help you need. You deserve better so do your children. Leave and things will work out you will be teaching your children the greatest message of all and that is that they matter they are important and their happiness and safety is crucial and so is yours.
Get records together, birth certs etc. Make a plan and tell no one and go to a shelter somewhere. They’ll help you. Pls hon. It’s not gonna get better
God bless.
Sounds like you know what you need to do. It is imperative you get yourself and your kids out of there. They need to see a food example of what us appropriate behavior when dealing with emotions. Yes it’ll be hard but there is support if you ask for it. It may not be the best or what you want (especially to begin with) but it’ll help you get on your feet and be able to be that example for your kids. They need to see you advocating for yourself and them. They need to see determination and that even in tough times it’s better to take the hard road than stay in an unhealthy situation. And hopefully eventually you’ll find someone worth it and be be able to show your kids what a healthy and loving relationship looks like. Prayers for you mama.
Get prepared and move steadily and at pace. You know you need to leave so get it done. He’s not semi abusive, he’s abusive and your son needs to be taught that behavior is unacceptable. Big job ahead but one I can sincerely promise will be the best and most rewarding thing you’ve ever done. I’m 30 years post an abusive relationship like yours. I’m married with more children to my husband who is respectful of my past. Even after all this time I think about it but I’m stronger for it. At first I did it for my daughter but in turn it was for me too. Be careful and only tell your children what they need to know which might only be at this point that you love them. Be smart about who you trust. Be strong but most importantly be kind and honest to yourself. You deserve to be happier and so do your children 
First, abuse is abuse. There is no “semi abusive”. Don’t ever feel that you should play that down. Set up all your ducks. Get your money and place to live set up, or kick him out. I had to pay for my ex’s first month’s rent and have friends come and remove him. Eventually the cops may have to be involved. When the ask " does he have a place to stay?" You can say “yes. He has his own place and no longer lives here.” If anyone tells you “stay for the children”, tell them to shove it up their ass.
Seek shelter. Especially family shelters take in adults with children and most often than not they have other organizations that can help you get daycare, vehicles and such. I have been through them myself . I wish you the best of luck and praying for you. First step of getting out and getting to the shelter, take a deep breath and they will help you from there!
Don’t worry what you wouldn’t have get out with your kids. He is toxic no man would lay a hand on me or my children. Not a way to raise children
GET OUT. everything will fall into place once you do that. Your son is already going to need a lot of therapy and it will only get worse. Your daughters are also learning terrible lessons. Get out.
Please please, leave! Find a women and children’s shelter and be safe and start from scratch! You can do it! Sending yall so much love, and prayers and strength!
Apply for legal aid hud housing just don’t tell him your doing it and should get child support
There is not semi abusive your husband is abusive and your children are learning the behavior. There are women’s shelters your can go to with your children and they will help you figure it out. Get out now!
Get out NOW! break that cycle or your children will continue to learn that it’s ok to treat and be treated with abuse! PLEASE FOR THEM. and yourself. You deserve better.
Just leave. Make a plan and go. Don’t wait for the perfect moment because it will never come. For your safety and for your children’s well-being you need to get out of there! There is always a way!
Leave leave leave no matter what he doesn’t deserve you - you will look back in years to come and wonder why you didn’t go sooner - best of luck xx
Get out kid learn from their environment that they live in… your son will grow up learning it’s OK to abuse women cause of his dad
you already see how your children will be when they grow up. your son is acting it out now. it won’t change when he gets older, except to get worse. and he too will turn on you when he gets bigger. if you won’t leave for you, do it for them!! there’s help financially for people who need it. have the house and car sold in the divorce and get half or ask for the house, full custody of the kids, and alimony/child support payments. first though, take the kids, have a friend or family member help you…and go as fast as you can to a women’s shelter. (at family or friends he will find you).
If you have not already done so start documenting everything right away but send it to someone you can trust so he doesn’t find it.
You will need it for the judge when the day comes.
Get out as soon as possible
Document everything, take pictures of the house and get outta there ASAP. There are options out there for you. You are not stuck!
What is “semi abusive”?
Verbal abuse is emotional abuse and clearly it is affecting your children.
Whatever way is possible get out now, while they are young.
I’m sure there are family and/or friends that would be supportive.
Do not delay any longer.
clearly this relationship is not healthy.
Leave he will never change and your son is 7 with counseling he has a chance to turn his behavior around . You can get help ! Prayers
It’s not worth the trauma to you or your kids. He needs therapy because of the irreparable damage and pain he has inflicted on you and your kids. Money will never compensate you for continued abuse. Get your support from being strong yourself and outside from others. Sad but true. Line up what you need to do NOW.
You have to make the decision to leave, for your children. It won’t be easy. You say you won’t have a car… take his car if you can! Get a phone that can’t be traced. Be smart, leave when he goes to work. Squirrel money away. Go straight to magistrate court & file a Domestic Violence Petition. Talk to the Women’s Resource Center! The court will serve him & you must be careful to not let him know where you are. Emergency child support can be set up quickly. Get your kids in counseling. It is hard to take a stand. He has made you feel like you cannot, typical of abusive partners. Take a stand for your children, get them to safety. I have been there. I worked 2 jobs & it was not easy, but I slept good at night with my children safe. They are grown and understand why I left. Much luck to you!
Seek help at a crisis shelter they can help you get in touch with people that can help you with housing and counseling for you and your children prayers for you and your children
When me and my mam left my step dad we went to the housing office and explained to them that we had to get out and they normally have a housing officer who will help u escape by having police at the property to give assistance if he gets aggressive it would properly be ideal if u had social services there to give assistance for safety for the children and urself hope u do get out off there I had through out my child hood wiv aggressiveness and verbal abuse u shouldn’t have to go through it. Xxxx
Document everything, then when you are ready to leave, even if you can stay with someone, alimony or cs will help you. Then that’s when you can get protective custody and it’ll be a huge thing, but one thing at a time. Right now you need to bail out and leave.
No such thing as “semi abusive”. They are or they aren’t. The fact that you feel the need to downplay it shows how much he has already beat you down in more than the physical sense. Leave, get out, you deserve so much more.
Emotional abuse isn’t semi-abusive it’s abuse. Holes in the wall are abuse. You and your children are abused. Your marriage vows don’t include abuse, this isn’t in bad times. You get to leave, even though you still love him and begin the long process of healing yourself and your children. And don’t be surprised when children align with the “winning” team (the abuser), this natural, but therapy and lots of time can help. 
you are sooo much stronger than you know and way stronger than he wants you to think you are.
Hes got a major problem…you’ll get financial help and child support. I would get out and get out fast. What is he acting like to your children the 3 days you work. I’d be afraid to leave them with him. One time he may go too far with his anger especially with the children…please get away from him.
Please get out now. Save yourself and your children from the pain and trauma.
Do you want this man as a model for your kids.
It’ll be hard but definitely worth it.
Not all men are like this. You and your children deserve to be respected and treated with consideration.
I’ve been in your shoes. I’m sorry I didn’t leave when they were small.
My life is so much better.
Wishing you the best of luck.
Oh hunny you and your babies need to leave. Their safety and yours is what is most important. There are many resources oit their to help you and your children. Your daughters will admire you once they understand. Hopefully you will be able to instill good morals and values with your son so he will understand that behavior isnt normal or alright.
You need to leave him. He isn’t going to change and you deserve better. Verbal abuse is as bad as physical abuse. Good luck
There’s organizations to help women and there children escape abuse. Do not allow him to see the kids after you leave. He will get worse. My kids are grown. I allowed them to see there dad and he took them away, he also stole them once. I was way to nice to him. I never called the police on him and he got away with everything.
Forget about material things, as you say your son has picked up bad habits, you will be fine without materials surely will take time but your kids are the future here!!
I’m so sorry. I stayed in that for way to long. Reach out to women’s shelters, support groups, legal aide. My sons both has problems from being with their male parent. I can’t really call him a dad. You can do this. You deserve to be safe and happy. Hugs.
I am so sorry you are going thru this. it is a hard process. stay strong. you can do this. and do not ever question if you were abused. it is abuse. do not make excuses or say it’s not that bad or question wether he will change or if you can make it work until the kids are grown. He will not change. open a new checking acct without him knowing. put a small portion of your checks in it so he doesn’t know that anything is missing. when you go to walmart or the grocery store use the debit card and get cash back and put it in your private acct. Get all your important paperwork (birth certificates, social security cards, bank statements) together so you can get it quickly and get out. and if he asks why, just say you are organizing or starting a filing system. when you leave, clean out the checking acct. open a credit card in your name only so if he takes you off the others, you already have something in place as a safety net. Don’t tell
anyone, especially your kids that you are going until the minute you are ready to leave. call shelters in your area (from a phone with a bill that he does not have access to so he can’t trace you by where you called prior to leaving) as soon as you have all your stuff and a plan ready but don’t pack until they say they are ready. it may take a couple days for a bed to open. when it’s time to go, pack each kid a trash bag of clothes, toys,etc. don’t forget favorite blankets or pillows. pack light. they will take you and your kids. don’t even tell your friends where you are going for the first bit. he may threaten them into telling him. it is a hard situation but it WILL get better once you leave. the shelter will help you file for assistance and find a place to stay and maybe a better job. When it gets hard, look at your kids and know that this is what you HAVE to do to keep them and you safe and to give them any chance at a normal life. from one survivor to another… you CAN do this.
If you get devorced and you only have 1 car, and have the children, MOST judges will award you the vehicle. As far as housing, apply for emergency service section 8 approved HOUSES list.
If you can’t leave for yourself, leave for your kids’ sake. Verbal abuse is emotionally devastating for all children.
You have to do right by your children. From what you said your son is already exhibits abusive behavior. It has to stop now. Leaving is your only option. There are systems and groups in place to help women in your situation. Do NOT let money be the reason you stay! You have an entire lifetime to teach your children proper genuine love. This isn’t it. Give them that opportunity. Give yourself that opportunity to love and respect yourself enough to leave. Its HARD and its SCARY. But it will be worth it for your children. I urge you to document everything. Pictures, recordings, journal if you must. It will help you when it comes to court. And seek a ppo.
I wish you all the luck and I’m sending you all the positive vibes. You and your children deserve better.
My mother was too afraid to leave my abusive father and we had to continue enduring his abuse for years. Things happened that never should have and I resented her for not caring enough about us to do something about it. I now realize that the fear can be paralyzing, but you have to get out for your sake and the sake of your kids! No one deserves this and it will likely get worse as time goes on. There are people who will help you. If you can’t find someone, walk into a police department and tell them you need help. They will help you get somewhere safe. I pray that you have friends or family that will help you get on your feet again, but if not, there are shelters and advocates that will help you. There is more help out there than you might think. Make a plan and execute it, but follow through no matter what. The health and well-being of more than one life depend on it.
Definitely go to a shelter. They’ll help you get a job, childcare, transportation, everything. You’re NOT stuck. Take your kids and go!
Start putting back what cash you can even if you have to leave it with a trusted friend for an emergency stash. Seek out help from a woman’s shelter. Do you have any family you could stay with till you get back on your feet. Document the abuse, journals, recordings ect… legal aid will help you with a lawyer and getting a guardian at liedm for the kids
Once you leave go no contact let the lawyers do the talking.
As soon as you get a chance…go! Get some money out of the account and get you and your kids to an abuse shelter. They will help you with resources. Don’t forget your important documents…license, birth certificates etc.