He’s highly abusive. Once you’ve left it will be more clear.
Leave…… run…… hide! They never change! Find a good shelter to start and never look back
Google for a women’s shelter in your area. Call them and talk to them. Tell them everything. I have been there and I know how hard it is. But you can do this
Advice is so easy to give. You in a horrible position. There is many ideals of what you should do. If you need to talk feel free to message me
When i left my husband with my 3 kids i had nothing but $200.and a plastic bag full of the kids clothes. I forgot clothes for myself. I took off to another city and applied for state assistant and food stamps i stayed with a friend until all my financial situation got straight. Put a roof over children after six months legal aid help me get divorced i got sole custody of my children and a restraining order for life and started my life free of fear. I got a good job while tje kids went to school and my friends took turns helping out when needed. I deeply grateful for thier help and I raised my children the right way. So please don’t put yourself in a hard place you can do it. You can do better. It’s up to you no excuses just do it.
Abusive! Not semi’. He needs angry counseling. If any way, I would not stay with him.
You were courageous enough to write about your present circumstance. There are agencies to help you. You are never alone. Take your children and leave or have an order placed against your husband about the abuse. You can make it. The time is now
YOU are the only one stopping you and your kids from a better life. When you realize that, changes will come. Right now you, not your husband is your own worst enemy. God bless that you find your inner strength.
Other ways to document injuries are ER visits with injuries. They will take pictures of injuries and then it is a legal document.
Just watched a show the man exactly like this. True story Finally killed the woman. Get out now. There is a way. If he doesn’t kill you it will be one of the kids!
Contact your local DHS office. They should be able to help you with resources. Best wishes for you and your babies.
Go to a abuse shelter they will help guide you . I left and never looked back please for your children’s sake and yours you can do this
No stay…and let him beat the shit out of you and let him keep putting scars on u and the children…that would make him happy…but would it make you and the kids happy…that’s what you have to ask yourself,good luck dear
Make a plan to leave when it is safe and get the hell out!
Leave him behind and bring your children with you. For your son’s behavior guide him if possible bring him to a guidance councelor or a priest to guide him to improve and change his behavior. Bring your children closer to God and pray all together for your husbands enlightenment. In God there is hope for your marriage to change. However, if he will not cooperate, file a case in court for child abuse and have him jailed.
Get pit before it’s to late. Figure it out before he kills you pr your son turns out to be like him. There is safe houses everywhere thay would help. Find one before its to late.
Silently make your escape and go to a women’s center find that first set your plan up but you need to get out and get your children out of it. They are being injured maybe not physically yet but mentally they are.
Get your children and leave he’s not worth being there
Contact your local womens shelter, get out with your children while you still can, it is not too late, your son will be just like him if not worse if you don’t get him out of that environment
Please leave this toxic relationship for both you and your kids. It won’t get any better if you stay. Call Social Services for help. God- Jesus does not want us to stay in an abusive relationship!!
Time pack up and get away from him it be hard for awhile but when your life start falling into place you make you can adc from state it help you there alot programs for bater ladies that federal goverment can help you just have make your mind up get children out that they become like father
Read Alex Ramirez’s advice…slowly… read again… In my professional career I have found that after multiple cancelling sessions fail that it is best to consider alternative options. In this case “get out now” before it is too late. This new beginning is not easy but it is not as hopeless and difficult as it may seem to you. Check public assistance objections, contact social services. Legal aid…use your head not your broken heart in this one. Have a plan, contact resources and…GET OUT.
Quit covering for your abusive spouse. Let him clean up his own mess.
Consult an attorney and explain all your concerns. The court may award child support/spousal support.
Meanwhile gather all the documentation you can. If you’ve had to seek hospital treatment after the abuse get a copy of paperwork. Gather photos after each event. Video all the physical damage around the house, if you shared anything with friends be prepared to have them deposed or ask them to write their account. Of course eye witnesses would be perfect.
Counseling is indicated for all your children. You prefer your son not continue to attempt to hurt his sisters. Neither do you want your girls to believe they deserve to be treated that way by males.
Kids can be resilient, especially with the right guidance.
Have a safe place to go. If you feel a restraining order is warranted have those in place before you leave.
Is stashing things in a storage unit feasible? Paper goods, towels, bedding…all the things you’d need to set up house in another location-- start gathering.
It is possible your spouse would need to move. Change all the locks, you can do that in 15 minutes.
Good luck to you.
as hard as it is u really must leave and get urself and children to a safe place, b4 he kills u. do u have a friend/sister/school teacher/Church…u don’t have to b a church goer to get help …material things mean nothing: ur life and the lives of ur children mean so much more. its not going to b easy…but u can do it.
Car or no car or anything else I take my kids and I would get myself away from him as far as I could get that’s not a healthy relationship for you or your kids that’s too much stuff to deal with and that’s sure not the way for you or your children to have to leave get out while you can and before someone gets badly hurt.
Get out now. He may not hit the kids yet but it’s only a matter of time. If your 7 year old is choking his sister now what happens next does he have to kill one before you leave.
You will survive and it won’t be easy but if you stay someone is going to end up dead.
When you say , semi abusive !!! It’s either abuse or or not !!!
You as a parent is responsible for the your children wellbeing .
No excuses ! Verbal or physical or sexual , abuse is abuse !
I was in a relationship for 10 years . It was either live a life of safety or die not trying to escape. I put my kids myself through this same abuse from their dad. He was the abusive one and I was the as responsible as him for allowing it. If I tell you where my kids are right now, specially the older one that is 27 years old that saw all this abuse for his first 8 years of his life that he remembers. How much it damage his own persona for being so afraid to leave my ex husband . Leave now ! Don’t put excuses for him. You say that your husband doesn’t hurt them physically, who do
You think is next after he hurts you? It will be your children.
Get out now before he seriously hurts you and leaves your kids without a mother. I know. I’ve been there.
You need to get out now. Go to a shelter especially since your son is treating his sister the way your husband treats you. Eventually your son will also start hitting you. Abuse is a learned behavior.
Why are you even asking what to do. Watching my son choke my daughter would be enough for me to know WTF I need to do.
You never mentioned reaching out to a Pastor or possibly church family? Counseling didn’t last I’m not sure if it’s because he wanted to change for a moment? But you need to reach out to family members, a woman’s shelter for abused women in your community it’s a matter of time before he hurts the children
Get put now before it is too late tell your son it is not right to hurt someone
Use a friend’s address and get your name on all the lower income apartments list. Also on Section 8. You will have to eventually leave him
Call the national hotline for victims domestic violence… you need to leave to save your children…dont be
concerned about him…you will go to shelter and then they will get you a house and job and a car…do it for your kids…your son needs to be in counting now
Get out now!!! Before hubby hurts you or the children but worse before 7 year old kills one of his sisters!! This is not acceptable in any way shape or form.. You need to stop this cycle right now before it’s to late.
Best day of your life is when leave an abusive person. It will only get worse with time
The hards thing is leaving you feel like you are give up on your marriage. But your kids come first and it is your job to protect them . If the boy is choking the girls you could get in trouble for not protecting them all because you are aware of the situation. Please leave its not the end ,it will be the best beginning for you and your children
They never change idc how much they promise it always happens again. And your son is learning how to treat woman and your daughter’s are learning to accept this from a man. Please call the cops they will take you abd the kids to a shelter where you will get help . ive been through this with my first husband. Please take the kids and leave
Go to a “Safe House” and don’t look back!!
I learned to late, when a man hits a woman, he isnt a man at all. It want get any better. It’s a shame. That
He is not semi abusive
He is full nlow abusive and you and your children are in danger every day. It will not get better! Believe me! I have been there! Get out while you can and make a new good life
Don’t think it to much and leave him before he kills you and your kids you can find a part time job we women don’t need a man to raise our children. God bless you and your children
Leave NOW, and apply for welfare, while you train for a better job. If possible, get family therapy for you and your kids.
Make the move only tell your closest maybe your mum absolutely no one else as people talk n it will get back to him trust I know. Go now don’t think twice, pack a bag for you n your kids don’t even tell the kids until you have fled. Kids do talk n it may cause more drama. If you can afford a train ticket get on and flee to the furtherest point in your state or wherever. You can get help were you land there are dv support services in every big town when you get to were your going go straight there or ring them to say your on your way.
“SEMI”? DEFINE? Semi abusive. What??? You need to go!
Leave your house the first opportunity you can. Go to a domestic violence shelter. There are services available that can help you get on your feet.
How your living in fear,isn’t living,when he leaves for work,get everything important to you & your children. State welfare, food stamps all this will come available to you. First get a ride to a shelter,you & your children will be safe there. Be sure none of you contact the monster husband.
Life is short. If your not happy get rid of what causes you unhappiness.
Get out while your still alive. This guy is a time bomb and when he finally explodes you and the kids don’t want to be anywhere near.
Get out while your still alive stuff will work out trust me I loved like this for years before he all most killed me then I left and so glad I did😔
Get out before it’s to late. Plenty of programs to help. Will be hard for awhile but at least you will be alive. Prayers
Just take your kids and leave. I left Michigan to Nevada with nothing but the clothes on me and my kids back
Document it. Leave. You’ll have no choice to leave them there when he kills you. Not if. When.
Go to a shelter if you have to
As he has always proved it is not going to get any better get out while you can file for child support
Leave. NOW. You will figure it out and you ALL will be so much better off without him. You will find a way, thats what us mommas do. Make do is my middle name.
leave before it is to late abuse is making you feel small look for a better job put some money away be smart i has in a physical abuse he almost killed me packed some clothes took my kids and left
Don’t wait until something physically happens to you or your kids! As long as we except abuse it’ll keep happening
Leave as soon as possible go to parents or family you and your kids come first you have got to get out they never change
Leave. You will find a way. Contact social service agencies. There is help out there, even though hard at first.
You have no choice when your children are directly involved. Pack your bags now.
Leave now. Why anyone stays around after the very first sign of abuse is beyond me.
I have been there…it does not get better. lEAVE now!!! There are shelters you can go to.
You call it SEMI abusive? Girl, pack your kids and run away from there. Your kids will never forget the hell of violence
Baby girl. It’s only going to get worse. I know from personal experience. Like you, I chose to stay due to the FINANCIAL Abuse he had me by. My ex was also a physical abuser. I came home one night from work, and I was immediately grabbed as I came in the front door, and I was beaten to every inch of my life! He broke my neck and jaw,and he shot me TWICE! Then he drug me down the hallway and threw me into the Hall Closet where my daughter found me. The Abuse is NOT worth staying for especially when your children are constantly witnessing the abuse. As long as you stay,its only going to get worse! Pack UP your children, call a relative and ask for Help. Once you get that help you head to the courthouse and apply for a restraining order, and THEN, head STRAIGHT to the Domestic Violence Outreach Program your State has to offer, and you let them know you have applied for a restraining order,they will appoint you an attorney,offer therapy and other services. And you will be offered $1,500 dollars for relocation . They HAVE safe places to place you and your children because NOW you are a displaced homemaker. Participate in whatever program they offer you. From there you CAN rebuild your life. And stay safe in the process. Do yourself a solid, and HIDE your cellphone somewhere where you can catch the abuse on video. Take pictures of ALL of the holes in the walls. Video tape what you can. Also get INTO therapy for YOU and your children! That IS a must. The video and pictures will help your case SO much! Start building your case against him! And to ensure that he doesn’t get custody. You are in my prayers
If you do not have family there for support, find the nearest shelter.
Please, please make a plan and GO. If not for yourself, then do it for your children. There is help available, you just need to reach out.
Find a place close to where you could work and not need a vehicle for a while.
Please get out! It is not fair to your kids to witness that and grow up with that situation. You need to think of yourself and your children. You’ve got this. Just do it
Lady…hey get out while you can. Get parents to help you, sisters, brothers. Get a full time job…you cannot let your children grow up with his lifestyle. Are you in a church? Sometimes they can help. Look for a half way house? Woman’s shelter, anything is better than being dead!
My daughter was in abusive relations she got out section 8 help her get a house and probably human services help her get food and utilities paid so get out and call him and they were very fast on it too
Take your kids and leave. Take only what you can easily carry. There are women’s centers. Churches and social organizations to help. Example a lot of churches have food pantry’s and clothing closets.
Go to any local Op Shop and tell them why you are there. They will direct you to the right people to contact the local Woman’s Shelter.
At least you all will be alive if you leave. Tomorrow doesn’t promise anything.
Leave! That’s how. You cant change an abuser and more than you can change an adulterer.
“When he gets mad he hurts me”…this is a crime against you, and considered child abuse for children to witness your abuse. Depending on where you live, there may be a full array of social services for victims of domestic violence. If you don’t know where to start, call your doctor or local emergency department for the number to call for help. You must act soon. Domestic violence can be deadly.
Lady leave for yourself and your children. It is affecting your children and yourself. Do it now, don’t wait. You deserve better. There is always a shelter but go see a lawyer first to know your rights and for help.
Get out lady, right away. Ask for help from the state. What is happening to your children can not be fixed if you let it continue… GET OUT ASAP …
You need to leave is what you need to do. There are places that will help you. Get out.
Some men act like they are the only
ones frustrated in the marital situation. Children don’t need to live like this. Take it from one who lived like this. It does effect your kids.
.
You are looking at all your weaknesses you need to look at your strengths. There is help out there.
The only people you are hurting is your children especially the little one get help
You know the answer. You just need to take the first step and walk out the door don’t look back because you will beat yourself up wondering why it took you so long. I know this to be true I lived it.
Leave abusive parent leaves lasting trauma on children.
You should just leave and take your kids because he may not hit the kids but whatever your kids witness is just as hurtful as a punch to the face. Leave and tell your spouse that he needs to get help before you and the kids will return. Please don’t return just because he begs you and will say that he is willing to change. He needs to find help first and after awhile look at his progress and you should decide if you and the kids will return. Sometimes it’s better to live apart and still be parents to the kids then attempt to save the marriage because of the kids. You want to save the marriage only if all parties can learn to live in a non fighting family.
Record his anger on phone for your evidence, it will be helpfulto get help
Safe Harbors is the local organization here. Get a restraining order.
Get out now take your kids get to a women’s shelter don’t wait till it’s to late
Get out of it I just got rid of one like that . the verbally abuse is no good for u or the kids . I’ve away from my ex husband a yr now my kids and me r doing way better
Leave now there are people to help abused mothers find one and leave him
Get him out. You need a restraining order and the car. He needs help. Call the police and get it on record. Time for him to realize your done.
My daughter just went through something similar. Get out! She went through 15 years of hell She and my granddaughter are with me now. Safe.
First find a job for more days and hours so you can afford a cheaper car and a small place.
A court will give you his car if you have a smart lawyer. You need to get out and protect your children’s mental state. Your husband is sick.
well i wouldnt cover it up ,who ever asks how they got there tell them ,and get out of there .
Very sad …think of your children and yourself…l went thru what you going thru and it is not nice…l did it for me and my children …!!
Semi abusive? No such thing. Either he is or isn’t. Get out. Praying for you. Good LUCK.
I am about to divorce my husband and I am in similar situation as you are
You need solutions, not excuses. Whether you’re ready to run, you’ll run. You’re contributing to child abuse.
I’m not sure what state anon is from and laws are different however, the best thing you can do for your children is to get them out of the toxic cycle you’re enduring. Contact local shelters in your area. Don’t worry about finances or a car, they will help you with all of that. It’s the quickest way to get into affordable housing and regain independence. Leaving is the most dangerous time for you and your children, no matter what he says do not go back and get a restraining order as soon as you leave to a shelter. For now, pack a bag of clothes for you and your children and take it to a neighbors or friends you trust. Also, take some cash (enough that he will not notice) and also keep it with a trusted person. This way, you have bus fair and a little to get you where you need to go when its time to leave. Plan your exit and come up with a safety plan, do not write it down but memorize it. Once you leave you will all need individual therapy. I know its difficult but I promise you can do it. I stayed and was shot at 6 months pregnant. That was 12 years ago. I made it out, and you can too have strength and keep on moving forward. If anon can message me I run an organization here in san diego and I can help find local shelters and create a safety plan with her.
Leave there are some many good people that would be willing to help you out . But you have to make the first step.